Duties of Church Members Towards Each Other
I. The first, and that which indeed seems to include every other, is love.
The stress which is laid on this in the Word of God, both as it respects the manner in which it is stated, and the frequency with which it is enjoined, sufficiently proves its vast importance in the Christian temper, and its powerful influence on the communion of believers. It is enforced by our Lord as the identifying law of his kingdom. “This is my bommandment, that ye love one another as I have loved you.” John xv. 12. By this we learn that the subjects of Christ are to be known and distinguished amongst men, by their mutual affection. This injunction is denominated the new commandment of the Christian economy; not that love was no duty before the coming of Christ; but it is now placed more prominently amongst the duties of believers; is urged on fresh grounds, enforced by a more perfect example, and constrained by stronger motives. The dispensation of Jesus Christ is a system of most wonderful, most mysterious grace. It is the manifestation, commendation, and perfection of divine love. It originated in the love of the Father, and is accomplished by the dove of the Son. Jesus Christ was an incarnation of love in our world. He was love living, breathing, speaking, acting, amongst men. His birth was the nativity of love, his sermons the words of love, his miracles the wonders of love, his tears the meltings of love, his crucifixion the agonies of love, his resurrection the triumph of love. Hence it was natural, that love should be the cardinal virtue in the character of his saints, and that it should be the law which regulates their conduct towards each other.
The Apostles echoed the language of their Master, and continually enjoined the churches which they had planted, to love one another, and to let brotherly love abound and increase. It is a grace so important that, like holiness, no measure of it is sufficient to satisfy the requirement of the Word of God. It is the basis, and cement, and beauty of the Christian union. The church where it is wanting, whatsoever may be the number or gifts of its members, is nothing better than a heap of stones, which, however pohshed, want the coherence and similitude of a palace.
In the best and purest ages of the church, this vh-tue shone so brightly in the character of its members, was so conspicuous in all their conduct, was expressed in actions so replete with noble, disinterested, and heroic affection, as to become a proverb with surrounding pagans, and call forth the well known exclamation,” See how these Christians love one another.’* A finer eulogium was never pronounced on the Christian church; a more valuable tribute was never deposited on the altar of Christianity. Alas! that it should so soon have ceased to be just, and that the church as it grew older should have lost its loveliness by losing its love.
But it will be necessary to point out the manner in which brotherly ove wherever it exists will operate.
1. In a peculiar complacency in ourfelloiv members, as the objects of divine love.
Complacency is the very essence of love; and the ground of all proper complacency in the saints, is their relation and likeness to God. We should feel peculiar delight in each other as fellow heirs of the grace of God, partakers of like precious faith, and joint sharers of the common salvation. We must be dear to each other as the objects of the Father’s mercy, the Son’s dying grace, and the Spirit’s sanctifying influence. The love of Christians is of a very sacred nature, and is quite peculiar. It is not the love of con-
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sanguinity, or friendship, or interest, or general esteem; but it is an affection cherished for Christ’s sake. They may see many things in each other to admire, such as an amiable temper, public spirit, tender sympathy; but Christian love does not rest on these things, although they may increase it, but on the ground of a common relationship to Christ. On this account they are to take peculiar delight in each other, as being one in Christ. “These,” should a believer exclaim, as he looks on the church, “are the objects of the Redeemer’s living and dying love, whom he regards with complacency; and out of affection to him, I feel an inexpressible delight in them. I love to associate with them, to talk with them, to look upon them, because they are Christ’s.”
2. Love to our brethren will lead us to hear one anothers burthens, and so fulfil the law of Christ. Gal. vi. 2.
When we see them oppressed with a weight of anxious care, instead of carrying ourselves with cold indifference and unfeeling distance towards them, we should cherish a tender solicitude to know and reheve their anxieties. How touching would such a salutation as the following be from one Christian to another: “Brother, I have observed with considerable pain, that your countenance has been covered with gloom, as if you were sinking under some inward solicitude. I would not be unpleasantly officious, nor wish to obtrude myself upon your attention, farther than is agreeable; but I offer you the expressions of Christian sympathy, and the assistance of Christian counsel. Can I in any way assist to mitigate your care, and restore your tranquilhty?” At such sounds, the loaded heart would feel as if half its load were gone. It may be, the kind inquirer could yield no effectual relief, but there is balm in his sympathy. The indifference of some professing Christians to the burthens of their brethren is shocking; they would see them crushed to the very earth with cares and sorrows, and never make one kind inquiry into their situation, nor lend a helping hand to lift them from the dust. Love requires that we should take the deepest interest in each other’s case, that we should patiently listen to the tale of wo which a brother brings us, that we should mingle our tears with his, that we should’offer him our advice, that we should suggest to him the consolations of the gospel; in short, we should let him see that his troubles reach not only our ear but our heart. Sympathy is one of the finest, the most natural, the most easy expressions of love.
3. Love requires that we should visit our brethren in their affliction.
“I was sick and ye visited me, I was in prison and ye came unto me; — for as much as ye did it unto the least of these my brethren, ye did it unto me;” such is the language of Jesus Christ to his people, by which he teaches us how important and incumbent a duty it is for church members to visit each other in their afflictions. Probably there is no duty more neglected than this. Christians often lie on beds of sickness for weeks and months successively, without seeing a fellow member cross the threshold of their chamber door. How often have I been shocked, when upon inquiring of the sufferer whether such and such an individual residing in their neighbourhood had been to visit them, it has been said in reply,” Oh no sir, I have now been stretched on this bed for days and weeks. My pain and weakness have been so great, that
1 have scarcely been able to collect my thoughts for meditation and prayer. The sight of a dear Christian friend would indeed have reheved the dull monotony of this gloomy scene, and the voice of piety would have been £fs music to blunt my sense of pain, and lull my troubled heart to short repose; but such a sight and such a sound have been denied me. No friend has been near me, and it has aggravated sorrows already heavy, to be thus neglected and forgotten by a church, which I joined with the hope of finding amongst them the comfort of sympathy. But alas! alas! I find them too much occupied vrith the things seen and temporal, to think of a su fering brother, to whom wearisome nights and months of vanity are appointed.” How could I help exclaiming, “O, Christian love, bright image of the Saviom-’s heart! whither hast thou fled, that thou so rarely visitest the church on earth, to shed thine influence, and manifest thy beauties there?” There have been ages of Christianity, so historians inform us, in which brotherly love prevailed amongst Christians to such a degree, that, fearless of the infection diffused by the most malignant and contagious disorders, they have ventured to the bed side of their brethren expiring in the last stages of the plague, to administer the consolations of a hope full of immortality. This was love; love stronger than death, and which many waters could not quench. It was no doubt imprudent, but it was heroic, and circulated far and wide the praises of that dear name which was the secret of the wonder.
How many are there, now bearing the Christian name, who scarcely ever yet paid one visit to the bed side of a suffering brother. Shame and disgrace upon such professors!! Let them not expect to hear the Saviour say, “I was sick, and ye visited me.”
That this branch of Christian love may be performed with greater dihgence, it would be a good plan for the pastor, at every church meeting, to mention the names of the afflicted mem-
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bers, and stir up the brethren to visit them. It would be particularly desirable for Christians to go to the scene of suffering on a Sabbath day, and read the Bible and sermons to the afflicted, at that time, as they are then peculiarly apt to feel their sorrows, in consequence of being cut off from the enjoyments of public worship.
4.” Pray one for another,’’’’ James v. 16.
Not only with but /or one another. A Christian should take the interests of his brethren into the closet. Private devotion is not to be selfish devotion. It would much increase our affection did we devote more of our private prayers to each other’s welfare.
5. Pecuniary relief should he administered to those who need it.
“Distributing to the necessities of the saints,” Rom. xii. 13, is mentioned amongst the incumbent duties of professing Christians. How just, how forcible is the interrogation of the Apostle, 1 John iii. 17, “Whoso hath this world’s good, and seeth his brother have need, and shutteth up his bowels of compassion from him, how dwelleth the love of God in him?” Nothing can be more absurd, than those pretensions to love, which are not supported by exertions to relieve the wants of the object beloved. It must be a singular affection which is destitute of mercy. So powerfully did this holy passion operate in the first ages of the church, that many rich
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Christians sold their estates, and shared their affluence with the poor. What rendered this act the more remarkable is, that it was purely voluntary. It is not our didy any more than it was theirs, to go this length; still, however, it is evident both from general principles as well as from particular precepts, that we are under obhgation to make some provision for the poor. This duty must be left m the statement of general terms, as it is impossible to define its precise limits. It does not appear to me to be at all incumbent to make regular periodical distributions to the poor, whether in circumstances of distress or not. Some churches have a registered list of pensioners, who come as regularly for their pay, as if they were hired servants. If they are old, infirm, or unprovided for, this is very well; but for those to receive relief, who are getting a comfortable subsistence by their labour, is an abuse of the charity of the church. The money collected at the Lord’s supper should be reserved for times of sickness and pecuUar necessity.
It should be recollected, also, that public contributions do not release the members from the exercise of private liberality. The shilhng a month which is given at the sacrament, seems, in the opinion of many, to discharge them from all further obligation to provide for the comfort H of their poorer brethren, and to be a sort of composition for the full exercise of religious charity. This is a great mistake; it ought rather to be considered as a mere earnest, or pledge of all that more effective and abundant liberality which they should exercise in secret. 6. Forbearance is a great part of love.: “Forbearing one another in love.” Eph. iv. 4. In a ‘Christian church, especially where it is of considerable magnitude, we must expect to find a very great diversity of character. There are all the gradations of intellect, and all the varieties of temper. In such cases great forbearance is absolutely essential to the preservation of harmony and peace. The strong must bear with the infirmities of the weak. Christians of great attainments in knowledge should not in their hearts despise, nor in their conduct ridicule the feeble conceptions of those who are babes in Christ; but most meekly correct their errors, and most kindly instruct their ignorance. This is love. In very many persons there will unhappily be found some things, which although they by no means affect the reality and sincerity of their religion, considerably diminish its lustre, and have a tendency, without the caution of love, to disturb our communion with them. Some have a forward and obtrusive manner; Others are talkative; others indulge a complaining, whining, begging disposition; others are abrupt, almost to rudeness, in their address. These, and many more, are the spots of God’s children — with which we are sometimes so much displeased, as to feel an alienation of heart from the subjects of them, although we have no doubt of their real piety. Now here is room for the exercise of love. These are the cases in which we are to employ that charity which covereth all things. Are we to love only amiable Christians? Perhaps, after all, in the substantial parts of religion, these rough characters far excel others, whom courtesy and amiableness have carried to the highest degree of polish. I do not say we are to love these mdividuals /or their pecuharities, but in spite of them. Not on their own account, but for Christ’s sake, to whom they belong. And what can be a greater proof of our affection for him, than to love an unlovely individual on his account?
If you had the picture of a valued friend, would you withdraw from it your affection, and throw it away, because there was a spot upon the canvas, which in some degree disfigured the painting? No; you would say, it is a likeness of my friend still, and I love it notwithstanding its imperfection. The believer is a picture of your best friend; and will you discard him, neglect him, because there is a speck upon the painting?
II. Church members should cuhivate peace and HARMONY one with another.
“Keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. Ephes. iv. 3. Be of one mind, live in peace. 2 Cor. iii. 11. Follow after the things which make for peace. Rom. xiv. 19.” It is quite needless to expatiate on the value and importance of peace. What society can exist without it? I shall therefore proceed to state what things are necessary for the attainment of this end.
1. Members sJiould he subject one to another in hiwiility. 1 Pet. V. 5, “Likewise, ye younger, submit yourselves unto the elder. Yea, all of you, be subject one to another, and be clothed with humility.” Now from hence we learn, that some kind of mutual subjection ought to be established in every Christian church. This of course does not mean, that some members are to make an entire surrender of their opinions and feelings to others, so far as never to oppose them, and always to be guided by them. It is not the subjection of an inferior to a superior, but of equals to one another; not that which is extorted by authority, but voluntarily conceded by affection; not yielded as matter of right, but given for the sake of peace: in short, it is the mutual subjection of love and humility. Young and inexperienced persons ought to be subject to the aged; for what can be more indecorous
U than to see a stripling standing up at a church meeting, and with confidence and flippancy, opposing his views to those of a disciple old enough to be his grandfather? Youth loses its loveliness when it loses its modesty. They should hearken with deference and most reverential attention to the opinion of the aged. Nor does the obhgation rest here; it extends to those who are equal in age and rank: church members also should be subject to each other; they should not be determined at all events to have their own way, but should go as far as principle would let them, in giving up their own views and predilections to the rest. Every one should hearken with respectful attention to the opinions of others, and be willing to sacrifice his own. The contention ought not to be for rule, but for subjection. Instead of haughtily exclaiming, “I have as much right to have my way as any one else,” we should say, “I have an opinion, and will mildly and respectfully state it; yet I will not force it upon the church, but give way to the superior wisdom of others, if I ara opposed.” There should be in every member a supposition that others may see as clearly, probably more so, than himself
The democratic principle in our system of church government must not be stretched too far. The idea of equal rights, is soon abused and converted into the means of turbulence and faction. Liberty, fraternity, and equality, are words which both in church and state have often become the signals in the mouths of some, for the lawless invasion of the rights of others. It has been strangely forgotten, that no man in social life has a right to please only himself; his will is, or ought to be, the good of the whole. And that individual violates at once the social compact, whether in ecclesiastical or civil society, who pertinaciously and selfishly exclaims, “I will have my way.” Such a declaration constitutes him a rebel against the community. Yet, alas! how much of this rebellion is to be found not only in the world, but in the church; and what havoc and desolation has it occasioned in the churches of Christ. Unfortunately for the peace of our societies, it is sometimes disguised, through the deceitfulness of the human heart, under the cloak of zeal for the general good. Let church members enter into these sentiments, and thus comply with the apostolic admonitions, “Let nothing be done through strife or vain glory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themselves.” Phil. ii. 3. “In honour preferring one another.” Rom. xii. 10.
2. To the preservation of peace, a right treatment of offencts is essentially necessary.
We should ever be cautious not to give offence.
Some persons are rude, dogmatical, or indiscreet; they never consult the feeUngs of those around them, and are equally careless whom they please and whom they offend. They say and do just what their feelings prompt, without the least regard to the consequences of their words and actions. They act like an individual who, because it pleases him, discharges a loaded musket in a crowded street, where some are almost sure to be wounded. This is not the charity which is kind, courteous, and civil. A Christian should be ever afraid of giving offence; he should be anxious not to injure the wing of an insect — much more the mind of a brother. The peace of his brethren should even be more sacred than his own. It should be his fixed determination never, if possible, to occasion a moment’s pain. For this purpose he should be discreet, and mild, and courteous in all his language, weighing the import of words before he utters them, and calculating the consequence of actions before he performs them. He should remember that he is moving in a crowd, and be careful not to trample on, or jostle his neighbours.
We should all be backward to receive offence.
Quarrels often begin for want of the caution I have just stated, and are then continued for want of the backwardness I am now enforcing. An observance of these two principles would keep the world in peace. There are some people whose passions are like tow, kinyo CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP, OR
died into a blaze in a moment by the least spark which has been designedly or accidentally thrown upon it. A word, a look, is in some cases quite enough to be considered a very serious injury. It is no uncommon thing for such persons to excuse themselves on the ground that their feelings are so delicately sensible that they are offended by the least touch. This is a humiliating confession, for it is acknowledging that instead of being like the cedar of Lebanon, or the oak of the forest which laughs at the tempest and is unmoved by the boar of the wood, they resemble the sensitive plant, a little squeamish shrub, which trembles before the breeze, and shrivels and contracts beneath the pressure of an insect. Delicate feelings!! In plain English, this means that they are petulant and irascible. I would have a text of Scripture written upon a’ label, and tied upon the forehead of such persons, and it should be this — “Beware of dogs.” We should never softer ourselves to be offended, until, at least, we are sure that offence was intended; and this is really not so often as we are apt to conclude. Had we but patience to wait, or humility to inquire, we should find that many things were done by mistake, which we are prone to attribute to design. How often do we violate that charity which thinketh no evil, and which imperatively demands of us to attribute a good motive to another’s conduct, except a bad one is proved. Let us then deliberately determine, that, by God’s grace, we will not be easily offended. If such a resolution were generally made and kept, offences would cease. Let us first ascertain whether offence was intended, before we suffer the least emotion of anger to be indulged; and even then, when we have proved that the offence was not committed by accident, let us next ask ourselves whether it is worth while to notice it. What wise man will think it worth while, when an insect has stung him, to pursue and punish the aggressor?
When we have received an injuiy which is too serious to be passed over unnoticed, and requires explanation in order to our future pleasant intercourse with the individual who inflicts it, ive should neither hrood over it in silence nor communicate it to a third person, but go directly to the offender himself, and state to him in private our views of his conduct. This is most clearly enjoined by our divine Lord — “Moreover, if thy brother trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother.” Matt, xviii. 15. Many persons lock up the injury in their own bosom; and instead of going to their offending brother, dwell upon his conduct in silence, until their imagination has added to it every possible aggravation, and their minds have I yo CHRISTIAN FELLOWSHIP OR
come to the conclusion to separate themselves forever from his society. From that hour, they neither speak to him, nor think well of him; but consider and treat him as an alien from their hearts. Thi& is not religion. Our duty is to go, and to go as speedily as possible, to the offender. The longer we delay, the more serious will the offence appear in our eyes, and the more difficult will it be to persuade ourselves to obtain the interview.
Others, when they have received an offence, set off to some friend, perhaps to more than one, to lodge their complaint, and tell how they have been treated. The report of the injury spreads farther and wider, exaggerated and swelled by those circumstances, which every gossip through whose hands it passes, chooses to add to the original account, till in process of time it comes round to the offender himself, in its magnified and distorted form, who now finds that he in his turn is aggrieved and calumniated; and thus, a difficult and complicated case of offence, grows out of what was at first most simple in its nature, and most capable of being adjusted. Wc ought to go at once to the party offending us before a syllable has past our hps on the subject to a third person: and we should also close our ears against the complaints of any individual, who would inform us of the fault of a brother, before he has told the offender himself.
Sometimes when persons have received a supposed offence, they will endeavour to gain information from others in a circuitous and clandestine manner, in order, as they think, to conduct the affair with prudence. This is crooked poHcy, and rarely succeeds. It is next to impossible to creep with a step so soft, and to speak with a voice so muffled, as to escape detection; and if the individual surprise us in the act of ferreting into holes and corners for evidence, it will be sure to excite his indignation and disgust. No, go to him at once, and alone. This is the command of Scripture, and it is approved by reason, Matt, xviii. 15 — 17. This single admonition is worth all the volumes that philosophy ever wrote, and ought to be inscribed in letters of gold. It cannot be too often repeated, nor can too much stress be laid upon it. Third persons, whose ears are ever open to catch reports, should be avoided as the plague; they are the mischief-makers and quarrel-m.ODgers, and are the pests of our churches.
Great caution, however, should be observed fW to the spirit in which ive go to the offending brother. All the meekness and gentleness of Christ should be in our temper and manner. We should dip our very tongue in the fountain of love. Every feeling, every look, every tone of anger, should be suppressed. We should not at once accuse our brother of the injury, for the report may be false; but modestly ask him if it be correct. All attempts to extort confession by threatenings should be avoided; and instead of these, nothing should be employed but the appeals of wisdom, the gentle persuasions of love.*
* There is a !very interesting description of the manner in which private offences should be treated, in that inimitable book, “Social Religion Exemplified;” a book which every professing Christian ought to read, and which having begun to read, he will never lay aside, till he has finished it. Part of a dialogue, I here transcribe, as shewing the manner and spirit in which this very difficult matter ought to be managed: —
“Neophytus. If Epenetus please, and with the good leave of the company, I would further request a brief account oi private offences, that probably occurred among these professing brethren.
“Epenetus. I shall then gratify my young friend, which I am persuaded will not be ungrateful to the company. Upon a time, in some discourse which Egwan (of whom you have heard something before) and one Hyderus had, wherein they differed in opinion, the latter told the former that he was an insignificant fellow, whose thoughts were not to be regarded. Eg’ wan said in answer, that he took it very ill of him. The other replied. You may take it as you please. So their conversation ended in a cloud. Egwan had but little rest that night. Is it so, then, he says to himself; and yet did Christ redeem me? Did the Spirit of the Lord visit my heart? Did the church of Christ receive me? And must I (though weak and feeble) be called
If we succeed in this private interview to gain our brother so far as to produce a little relenting, we ought to cherish by the kindest expressions, these beginnings of repentance, and to avoid all
insignificant? Tossed through the night in much uneasiness, he thought to go in the morning to one of the elders to complain. He got up, and as usual, in the first place committed himself to God: but while he was at prayer, mourning over his present uneasiness, that word came into his mind, If thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone. He quickly saw, that it was not his immediate business to divulge it to any body, — no, not to an elder; but to go directly to the brother who gave him the offence. Accordingly, he desired God to give him meekness of wisdom from above, and to bless his design. So he went to Hyderus, and spoke to him as follows:
Egwon. Brother, I have had a very uneasy night; you spoke, I think, very unadvisably with your lips, to gay no worse of it; you have grieved me much, and surely you have sinned against God. I have judged it my duty to come and have some talk with you about it; and have mentioned it to none but the Lord. You know you called me, in disdain. An insignificant fellow. Pray, what do you think of the expression and of the spirit in which it was spoken?
Hyderus. Truly, I think it was not worth your while to come to me about it. I charge you not with pride; yet pray does it not look very much that way, that you should make it your business to come hither to prove yourself valuable and significant?
demands of unnecessary concession, all haughty airs of conscious superiority, all insulting methods of dispensing pardon. “Brother,” we should say,” my aim was not to degrade you, but to
Egwan. I came with no other design than to tell you my grievance. For if I am such a person as, with disdain, you described me, then am I not regarded by the Redeemer; have no portion in him, nor doth his Spirit dwell in me; nor hath he ever taken notice of me; otherwise, sure, I should be entitled to a place in the esteem of his children. Why did the church receive me? You have censured the whole church and its elders, as well as myself.
Hyderus. I do not pretend to justify what I said; but think you greatly aggravate it; whereas, you might as well have been easy without taking any notice of it.
Egwan. And suffer the sin to lie upon you? Brother, nothing is desired but repentance for sinning against God. I hope I am willing to think meanly of myself, but am not so willing that any thing appertaining to the Redeemer’s kingdom should be treated with derision or disdain.
Hyderus. Dear brother, I disdain you not; you discover yourself to be a Christian of good improvement. I am sorry to have so sinned against God and you, and desire that brotherly love and tender respect may continue.
Egwan. Amen; I am satisfied, dear brother.
Christophilus. What a speedy, happy end was put to this offence! Oh, what endless strife of tongues.
convince you; and since you see and acknowledge your fault, I am satisfied, and shall forgive and forget it from this moment,”
If the oflfender should refuse to acknowledge his fault, and it should be necessary for us to take a witness or two, which is our next step in settling a disagreement, we must be very careful to select men of great discretion and calmness; men who will not be likely to inflame, instead of healing the wound; men who will act as mediators, not as partizans.
It is absolutely necessary in order to offences being removed, that the offender, upon his being convicted of an injury, should make all suitable concession; and it will generally be found, that in long continued and complicated
evil surmisings, auimosities, and popular clamour, spring and prevail in some places, for want of observing such a method as this I
Neophytus. But what if Egwan had gone to the €lderrs, as he thought once to do?
Epenetus. Why then he would have been reproved for taking such a wrong step; would have been better informed, and sent about his business.
Neophyttjs. But what if Hyderus had justified bimselt and persisted in his sin?
Epenetus. Then Egwan must have taken another opportunity, and desired a brother or two to go along with him; that they might use their joint endeavours to bring the offender to repentance.
Strifes, this obligation becomes mutual. Whoever is the ORIGINAL aggressor, a feud seldom continues long, ere both parties are to blame. Even the aggrieved individual has something to concede; and the way to induce the other to acknowledge his greater offence, is for him to confess his lesser one. It is the mark of a noble and ingenuous mind to confess an error, and solicit its forgiveness. “Confess your faults one to another,” is an inspired injunction. The man who is too proud to acknowledge his fault, when his conduct demands it, has violated his duty, and is a fit subject for censure. There are some persons, so far forgetful of their obligations to Christ and to their brethren, as not only to refuse to make concession, but even to give explanation. Their proud spirits disdain even to afford the least satisfaction in the way of throwing light upon a supposed offence. This is most criminal, and is such a defiance of the authority of the Lord Jesus, as ought to bring the individual before the bar of the church.
We should be very cautious not to exact unreasonable concession. A revengeful spirit is often as effectually gratified by imposi’^ hard and humiliating terms of reconciliatioi, as it possibly could be by making the severest retahation. No offender is so severely punished, as he who is obliged to degrade himself in order to obtain a pardon. And as all revenge is unlawful, we should be extremely careful not to gratify it at the very time and by the manner in which we are dispensing pardon. To convince a brother, not to degrade him, is the object we are to seek; and especially should we endeavour to show him, that his offence is more against Christ than against ourselves.
When suitable acknowledgments are made, the act of forgiveness is no longer optional with us. From that moment every spark of anger, every feeling of a revengeful nature, is to be quenched. “Let not the sun go down upon your wrath, neither give iplace to the devil.” Ephes. iv. 26, 27. If we suffer sleep to visit our eyes before we have forgiven an offending, but penitent brother, we are committing a greater offence against Christ, than our brother has committed against us. The man that takes a revengeful temper to his pillow, is inviting Satan to be his bedfellow. Such a man would probably tremble at the thought of taking a harlot to his bed; but is it no crime to sleep in the embrace of a fend? The word revenge should be blotted from the Christian’s vocabulary by the tears which he sheds for his own offences. How can an implacable Christian repeat that petition of our Lord’s prayer, “Forgive me my tres])asses as I forgive them that trespass against me?” Does he forget that if he uses such language while be is Uving in a state of resentment against a brother, he is praying for perdition? for how does he forgive them that trespass against him? By revenge. How strong is the language of St. Paul, “Grieve not the Holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: and be kind one to another, and tender hearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephes. iv. 30 — 32. What motives to a forgiving spirit!! Can that man have ever tasted the sweets of pardoning mercy, who refuses to forgive an erring brother? Go, Christian professor, go first to the law, and learn thy twice ten thousand sins, go in imagination to the brink of the bottomless pit, and as thou hearkenest to the bowlings of the damned, remember that those bowlings might have been thine; then go to the cross, and while thou lookest on the bleeding victim, which is nailed to it, hearken to the accents of mercy which breathe like soft music in thine ear, “Go in peace, thy sins are all forgiven thee.” What, will you, can you return from such scenes, with purposes of revenge? No; impossible. An implacable Christian is a contradiction in terms. “Bigots there maybe, and have been of all denominations; but an implacable, irreconcilable, unforgiving Christian, is of the same figure of speech, as a godly adulterer, a religious drunkard, a devout murderer.”*
The last step in reclaiming an offender, is to bring him before the assembled church. “If he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses, every word may be established; and if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church; but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as a heathen man and a pubhcan.” Every effort that ingenuity can invent, affection prompt, or patience can conduct, ought to be made, before it be brought to be investigated by the brethren at large. If every trivial disagreement be laid before the church, it will soon become a court of common pleas, and have all its time consumed in adjusting matters of which it ought never to have heard. Before a public inquiry takes place, the pastor should be made acquainted with the matter; who, if he possess the confidence and affection of his people, will have sufficient influence, at least in all ordinary cases, to terminate the difference in an amicable manner. It is best to settle it even without his interference, if possible; but it is better to consult him in every case, before the affair is submitted to the last tribunal.
* Dr. Grosvenor’s most pathetic Sermon on the Temper of Jesus.”
An offence ought never to he considered as remoV’ ed, until love is restored. We should never rest until such an explanation has been given and received, as will enable us to return to harmony and confidence. A mere cessation of actual hostilities may do for the intercourse of the world, but not for the fellowship of the saints. There is no actual strife between the tenants of the sepulchre; but the cold and gloomy stillness of a church-yard is an inappropriate emblem of the peace of a Christian church. In such a community we expect, that not only will the discords and sounds of enmity be hushed, but the sweet harmonies of love be heard; not only that the conflict of rage will terminate, but be succeeded by the activity of genuine affection.
When once an offence has been removed it should never be adverted to in future. Its very remembrance should if possible be washed from the memory by the waters of Lethe. Other causes of disagreement may exist, and fresh feuds arise; but the old one is dead and buried, and its angry ghost should never be evoked to add fury to the passion of its successor. Nor should we when in our turn we are convicted of an error, shelter ourselves from reproof, by reminding our reprover, that he was once guilty of a similar offence. This is mean, dishonourable, unchristian, and mischievous.
‘Every Christian should hear reproof with meekness. Few know how to give reproof with propriety, still fewer how to bear it. “Let the righteous smite me, it shall be a kindness; and let him reprove me, it shall be as excellent oil, which shall not break my head.” How small is the number who can adopt this language in sincerity. What wounded pride, what mortification and resentment are felt by many when their faults are told to them. When we have so far sinned as to deserve rebuke, we ought to have humility enough to bear it with meekness; and should it be deUvered in greater weight, or with less affection, than Ave think is proper, a penitential remembrance of our offence should prevent all feelings of irritation or resentment.
2. If the peace of the church be preserved, the members must watch against, and repress, a
TATTLING DISPOSITION.
There are few circumstances which tend more to disturb the harmony and repose of our societies, than a proneness in some of their members to a gossipping, tattling disposition. There are persons so deeply infected with the Athenian passion to hear or tell some new thing, that their ears or lips are always open. With insatiable appetite they devour all the news they can by any means collect, and are never easy until it is all disgorged again, to the unspeakable annoyance and disgust of others aroimd them. It is one of the mysteries of God’s natural government, that such should gain a sort of adventitious consequence by the mischief they occasion, and be thus sheltered from scorn by being regarded with dread. The tattler is of this description: I mean the individual who loves to talk of other men’s matters, and especially of their /ait^5; for it will be found, that by a singular perversity of disposition, those who love to talk about the circumstances of others, rarely ever select their excellencies as matter of discourse, but almost always fix upon their failings; and thus, to borrow a simile of Solomon’s, they resemble the fly which neglects the healthful part of the frame to pitch and luxuriate on the sore.
In the case of tatthng there are generally three parties to blame; there is first the gossip, then the person who is weak enough to listen to, and report the tales; and lastly, the individual who is the subject of the report, who suffers his mind to be irritated, instead of going, in the spirit of meekness, to require an explanation from the original reporter.
Now let it be a rule with every church member, to avoid speaking of the circumstances, and especially of the faults of others. Let this rule have the sanctity of the laws of Heaven, and the immutability of those of the Medes and Persians. Let every individual resolve with himself thus:” I will be slow to speak of others. I will
CHURCH member’s GUIDE. Ill
neither originate a report by saying what I think, nor help to circulate a report by repeating what I hear.” This is a most wise regulation, which would at once preserve our own peace and the peace of society. We should beware of saying any thing, which by the perverted ingenuity of a slanderous disposition, may become the basis of a tale to the disadvantage of another. It is not enough, as I have hinted, that we do not originate sl report, but we ought not to circulate it. When it reaches us, there it should stop and go no farther. We should give it to prudence, to be buried in silence. We must never appear pleased with the tales of gossips and newsmongers, much less with the scandals of the backbiter; our smile is their reward. If there were no listeners, there would be no reporters. In company let us always discourage and repress such conversation. Talkers know where to find a market for their stuff; and like poachers and smugglers, who never carry theix contraband articles to the house of an exciseman, they never offer their reports to an individual who they know would reprove them in the name of Jesus.
Let us beware of in ourselves, and discourage in others, the holloio deceitful practice of indulging a tattling disposition, by professedly lamenting over the faults of our brethren.
Many who would be afraid or ashamed to mention the faults of a brother in the way of direct affirmation or report, easily find, or attempt to find, a disguise for their backbiting disposition in affected lamentations. “What a pity it is,” they exclaim, “that brother B. should have behaved so ill. Poor man, I am sorry that he should have committed himself. The petulance of his temper is exceedingly to be regretted. He does not much honour religion.” “And then,” replies a second, “how sorry I am to hear this report of sister C.; how the world will talk, and the cause of Christ suffer by such unwarrantable things in the conduct of a professor. It will not be a secret long, or I would not mention it.” “Oh,” says a third, “I have heard whispers of the same kind in times past. I have long suspected it, and mentioned my fears some months ago to a friend or two. I thought she was not the person she appeared to be. I am very sorry for her, and for the cause of Christ. I have long had my suspicions, and now they are all confirmed. I shall tell the friends to whom I expressed my fears what I have now heard.” In this way is a tattling disposition indulged in the circles of even good people, under the guise of lamentation for the sins of others. “Odious and disgusting cant,” would a noble and honourable Christian exclaim, with hallowed indignation, “which of you, if you really lamented the fact, would report it? which of you has gone to the erring individual, inquired into the truth of the matter, and, finding it true, has mildly expostulated? Let your lamentations be poured out before God and the offender, but to none else.”
Others, again, indulge this disposition by running about to inquire into the truth of a report which they say has reached them, respecting a brother. “Have you heard any thing of brother H. lately? they ask with a significant look. “No;” replies the person. “Then I suppose it is not true.” “Why, what have you heard? Nothing I hope aflfecting his moral character.” “Not very materially; but I hope it is false.” The tattler cannot go, however, without letting out the secret, and then sets off to inquire of another and another. Mischief making creature I Why had he not gone, as was his obvious duty, to the individual who was the subject of the report, and inquired of him the truth of it? Aye, but then the story would have been contradicted at once, and the pleasure of telling it would have been ended.
There are cases in which a modest disclosure of the failings of others is necessary. Such, for example, as when a church is likely to be deceived in the character of an individual, whom it is about to admit to communion. In such instances, the person who is aware of the imposition that is likely to be practised, should go directly to the pastor, and make him acquainted with the fact; instead of which, some persons K whisper their suspicions to any and to many, except the pastor. It is perfectly lawful also to prevent any brother from being betrayed into a ruinous confidence in pecuniary matters, by informing him of the character of the individual by whom he is about to be deceived. Silence, in such cases, would be an obvious injury.
Be slow to speak, then, is a maxim which every Christian should always keep before his eyes. Silent people can do no harm; but talkers are always dangerous.
III. Besides these things, there are duties which members owe to the church in its collective capacity.
1. They are bound to take a deep interest in its concerns, and to seek its prosperity by all lawful means.
Every one should feel that he has a personal share in the welfare of the society. He should consider that having selected that particular community with which he is associated, as his religious home, he is under a solemn obligation to promote by every proper effort, its real interest. He is ta be indifferent to nothing which at any time affects its prosperity. Some members, from the moment they have joined a Christian church take no concern in any of its affairs. They scarcely ever attend a church meeting; they know neither who are excluded, nor who are received. If members, are added, they express no delight; if none sre admitted, they feel no grief. They fill up their places at the table, and in the house of God; and beyond this, seem to have nothing else to do with the church. This is a most criminal apathy; a Christian ought to be as trembhngly alive to the welfare of the religious society to which he is united, as he is to the success of his worldly affairs.
2. They are bound to attend all the meetings of the church, at least so far as their circumstances will allow. They had better be absent from sermons and prayer-meetings, than from these. How can they know the state of the society, if they are not present when its affairs are exhibited and arranged? or how can they exercise that proper confidence in the piety of the brethren, which is essential to fellowship, if they are absent at the time of their admission?
3. They should most conscientiously devote their gifts, graces, and abilities to the service of the church, in an orderly and modest way; neither obtruding their assistance when it is not required, nor withholding it when it is solicited. Those who have gifts of prayer, should not be backward to exercise them for the edification of their brethren. Those who have penetration and sound judgment should render their counsel and advice upon every occasion. Persons of large and respectable worldly connexions may often use their influence with great benefit to the temporal affairs of the society.
And there is one hne of charitable exertion, which would be pecuharly beneficial, and which has been too much neglected in all our societies; I mean the practice of respectable members reading the Scriptures, religious tracts, and sermons, in the habitations of the poor. I am aware that this is an age when many run to and fro, and when lay preaching is carried to a very improper and mischievous extent. Some who have no other qualification for preaching than boldness and ignorance, are every Sabbath employed, of whom it might be said, that it is a pity they have not the gift of silence. Unfortunately, those who are most qualijied, are frequently least disposed; while the least qualified, are the most zealous. But how many wise, judicious, holy men, are there in our churches, who would be most honourably and most usefully employed, in reading the words of life, and short evangelical sermons, in the cottages of the poor. Let a convenient house be selected, and the neighbours invited to attend; and who can tell what vast benefit would accrue from such a scheme? By the blessing of God upon these efforts, reformation would be wrought in the lower classes; religion would gain an entrance where it could be introduced by no other means; and our churches be replenished with holy, consistent members. Persons of respectable circumstances in life, especially, should thus employ themselves, as their situation gives them greater influence. Females may be thus engaged, without transgressing either against the injunction of the apostle, or the modesty which is so becoming their sex. I am astonished that means of usefulness so simple, so easy, and so efficient, are not more generally employed.
4. It is due to the authority of the church, that every member should cordially submit to its discipline. Without this, order would be destroyed, and the reign of anarchy introduced. This, indeed, as we have already considered, is essentially implied in the very act of joining the church; and no one ought to think of such an act of union, who is not determined to submit to its rules and its decisions.