To Mrs. W——
Temptation relative to retaining the blessing — Mental conflict-Peace — Confession — Desires to know the precise foundation of faith — A statement of the Way in which prayer was answered — The consequences of turning out of the way apprehended.
To MY Dear Sister, MrS; — — I am happy to avail myself of an opportunity which oflfers to continue the recital of the way by which the Lord hath brought me thus far on my Christian pilgrimage.
You may remember the temptation that I mentioned before relative to the improbability of my retaining the blessing, and the resolve which I made thereupon, that I would sooner die than relinquish my claim. I have since felt that this resolution was entirely of the Spirit’s influence; and as often as my mind has referred to it, it has been cause of intense gratitude to God. Had it not been for this decision the enemy might have triumphed over me in many of the struggles to which my faith has since been subjected.
I felt the binding nature of the obligation to profess the blessing, yet whenever opportunity offered, there seemed to be an increased effort on the part of the adversary to darken my evidence. Though he could not induce me to surrender, his continued suggestion was, that I beUeved because
Intense Straggle. Victory.
I would believe. In answer to this, in the resoluteness of faith, I replied,
“Be it I myself deceive,
Yet I must, I will believe.”
I had said, I will die in the conflict rather than unloose my grasp. On the third day after I received the blessing, the mental conflict was so great, under the power of temptation, as to have reached apparently my utmost power of endurance. I had no sensible communication whatever, and nothing but the shield of faith to defend me. The contest lasted, I think, more than an hour, during which my physical nature was so aff’ected by the struggles of my spirit, that my whole frame was in feverish excitement. The conflict continued till I was both physically and mentally prostrated, and then, on resting my cause wholly with Christ, I proved the truth of the words, “I will subdue all thine enemies.”
It was night, and on resigning myself thus, wearied nature sunk to repose. The next morning I awoke at an early hour, with peace reigning in all my borders, and with a soul unutterably filled with God.
Still greater confirmation followed this severe conflict. Much of the time my mind was kept calmly staid upon God, exulting in the blessedness of the rest upon which I had entered. On the afternoon of the sixth day (it being Tuesday,
Wrestling. A Reason sought.
an opportunity of which many witnesses of full salvation avail themselves at our house, to bear testimony) I felt it my duty to declare explicitly the salvation wrought out for me, when I was again most powerfully assailed with the temptation, that I believed merely because I would believe. During the evening I wrestled importunately with God that these distressing temptations might cease, and that I might have clear, enlightened views of the precise ground upon which I obtained, and might retain, this blessing.
In the simplicity of my heart I expressed my desires as nearly as I can remember thus: “Let me have the blessing in some such tangible form, that the enemy may never be successful in the insinuation, that I believe merely because I will believe, without a reasonable foundation for my faith to rest upon.” What I wanted was a certain knowledge, which would always be available, by which I might be enabled at any moment to come at the precise ground of my belief.
My prayer was answered; and such clear views were given in answer to my petition, that the adversary was completely vanquished. The Holy Spirit took of the things of God and revealed them unto me, by opening to my understanding Rom. xii, 1: “I beseech you, brethren, by the mercies of God that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your rea-Teachings of the Spirit on Rom. xii, 1.
sonable service.” Abiding views by which I have ever since been enabled to give a reagon of the hope within me, were then imparted.
I saw that nothing less than the omnipotence of grace could have enabled me thus to present my whole being to God. That the power to do so was of itself a miracle. That while I was thus empowered to present every faculty of soul and body a living, or, as Dr. Clarke says, a continual sacrifice, it was an express declaration — a truth to be believed, and therefore not to be doubted without sin, that the blood of Jesus cleanseth the offering thus presented from all unrighteousness.
This, I was given to see, was in verity placing all upon that altar which sanctifieth the gift. So long as my heart assured me that I offered all, I saw it was not only my privilege, but my solemn dtiti/, to believe that the blood of Jesus cleanseth, at the present and each succeeding moment, so long as the offering be presented. Thus I learned the imperative necessity of living by the moment. I learned, that in order to maintain a constant witness of present purification, the sacrifice to God must be ceaselessly made. Should I discontinue the entire abandonment of every power and faculty to God, by shrinking from some duty because the flesh is not willing, it would be at the forfeiture of a state of holiness.
A direct path, marked with light, hath from this
The Path. The SeaL Usefulness.
period been before me. I see the inevitable consequence of turning either to the right hand or to the left. I realize that holiness to the Lord consists in being set apart for his service — not doing my own will, or leaning to my own understanding. But, in acting upon these principles, I am wholly the Lord’s: not an hour of my future existence is at my own disposal: I have willed myself over to God, and made an absolute surrender of time, talents, and influence, to his reasonable service: by the power of his Spirit he hath enstamped the seal, which proclaims me his: henceforth it is not for me to confer with flesh and blood; the warfare upon which I have entered is not at my own charge: God requires that I should be holy, in order that I may be more useful, and consequently more happy.
In my next I will endeavor to tell you something more of my estabhshment in these blessed principles. In the mean time, praymg that you and I, with all the household of God, may be rooted, groimded, and built up, in our most holy faith. I remain,
Yours, in the love and faith of the gospel.
Advantages of Personal Holiness.