To Mrs. H——
Wandering thoughts — Satanic resistance — A strong testimony in the midst of temptation — Satan defied — God tempted by questionings — A life of faith — The cost counted — Unwavering reliance-Fruits of faith — A precious gem — Shortness of time — Sudden death contemplated.
You speak of wanderings in prayer. I am a sister in tribulation -with you in this matter. But all I can do is to cast myself on Jesus, as a Saviour, to save me from cherishing them. He knows my integrity, and I dare to believe lie pities me, when I repeatedly say before him, “I hate vain thoughts.” And does not the /ac that we so truly abhor them, assure us that they are only a class of those endless temptations from without, which so long as we are in an enemy’s land, we may expect? I have thought that it is only because the enemy conceives he can yerjilex me more at present, with this mode of warfare, that he so long persists.
You also observed, that “when laboring with others, endeavoring to encourage, &c., you are so tried within.” Can you expect otherwise than that Satan should withstand you, when you are endeavoring to do the work of your Master? The warfare is not so much against you, as against the kingdom of Christ. He is at enmity with God, and to the degree you exert an influence in bringing souls under the reign of Christ, Satan will try to
A Strong Testimony in the midst of Temptation.
perplex, and in every possible way withstand you.
But, dear sister, did you not make use of too strong language in speaking of “endless douhtinr/s.^^ You surely do not, in thus laboring with others, or in giving in your testimony, donht whether you will be sustained? You labor for, and with others, because the Holy Spirit moves you to it. What other influence could move you to labor for the establishment of the kingdom of your Redeemer in the hearts of others? Satan, divided against himself, cannot stand.
You desire to be delivered from these, so that you may bear a “stronger testimony.” I think I sometimes give in a stronger testimony when tempted to doubt, than when all is quiet. If Satan could induce me to yield so far as to weaken my testimony, it would, on my part, be a partial closing in with his designs, and doubtless if he should succeed once, it would only embolden for an attack on every such occasion. So I make it a point, when most powerfully tempted, to speak most confidently. You may wonder, but I have proved the benefit of this course. At the Tuesday meeting two or three weeks since, I practised on this principle precisely. The accuser for several days had been withstanding me at every point. He would fain have accused me in every word, thought, or action. Added to this, sensible assurances of
Satan defied in the Name of Christ. Tempting God.
the love of my Saviour were in a great measure withheld; and thus, with an indescribable sense of unworthiness, but with a consciousness of resting on Christ, I gave in a “stronger testimcmy” than usual. The feeling that possessed my soul was, that of defying Satan in the name of Christ; the enemy every moment saying that my state of grace did not warrant the testimony I had given. After I had finished, I felt such a conscious victory over the powers of darkness that my soul was filled with triumph. I afterward enjoyed blessed satisfaction in telling them, that the strong testimony I had given in was not founded on any state of feeling I at the time enjoyed, but because I knew I was by faith restintr on the stroncj basis of the immutable word to sustain me in all I had said, and even in using much stronger language if it were possible.
You know Israel tempted God, in saying, ‘’Is the L<yrd with us or not .^” Let us not tempt him by doubts, either in thought or expression. We cannot honor God more than by trusting him. Let us ‘’ trust in him and not be afraid.’’^ If we were continually possessed of sensible manifestations, should we have occasion to exercise our trust in God? Trust and fojith seem to imply much the same thing, and neither favors the idea of long-continued sensible manifestations. You may remember that a part of your letter was in allusion to this subject.
The Cost counted of living a Life of Faith. Temptations.
When I set out to live a life of faith on the Son of God, I counted the cost. I thought of the “father of the faithful,” who “by faith journeyed, not knowing whither he went,” and made up my mind that I would be contented to follow God blindfolded as long as I lived, if such were his requirement. I saw holiness to be a state of soul in which all the powers of body and mind were given up to God, and I perceived that the enjoyment of this state was in perfect consistency with extreme sorrow, as well as with exceeding great joy. Through grace I was enabled to say,
“Give joy or grief, give ease or pain,
Take life or friends away.”
These were among my first expressions on entermg upon this state. It has often since been suggested that I gave myself up so fully to live a life of faith, that God had taken me at my word. And will you believe, the enemy sometimes tries to tempt me to be sorry for it. But he has never succeeded in causing me to regret it for one moment. But you would hardly conceive how often he tries to make me think my faith a mere intellectual Tcnowledfje. I meet him by saying, it is founded on principles laid down by the eternal Mind, and consequently immovable m. faithfulness. God has promised such results as the fruits of faith. I trust him, and on the authority of his own word declare in strongest tcstimcmyj his faithfulness in
Fruits of Faith. Worth of the Promises. Shortness of Time.
fulfilling his promises. The fruiU of holiness follow — I dare not doubt it. A consuming zeal in the cause of God, which gathers within its grasp my whole being, is continually inspiring coiTCsponding efforts. “My soul shall make her boast in the Lord, and the hiimhle shall hear thereof and be glad.” “One promise is worth more than a moimtain of gold reaching to the heavens.” How rich are we. Unto us are given exceeding great and precious promises. I found an inestimably precious gem a few days since, which, in view of what my temptations had been, was precisely in point. “Wisdom and knowledge shall be the stahility of thy time, and strength of salvation :* the fear of the Lord is his treasure.” Isa. xxxiii, 6. Satan seems to have mostly done with my intethciual faith since. I have, dear sister, through grace, a good hope of immortality and eternal life. Our hope of seeing each other is deferred. But as it is by our heavenly Father’s appointment, our hearts are not sick. With us,
“This note above the rest does swell,
Our Jesus hath done all things well.”
We are sisters in the Lord, and our hearts are united for eternity, and as we are only to take in a small fraction of ti7ne here, we will rejoicingly say,
“No matter what cheer We meet with on earth; for eternity ’s here.’”
Time seems very short, and I have some thoughts
* Salvations. Margin
Thoughts in Relation to a Sudden Departure from Eaj-th.
I would like to express. But I see your affectionate heart is too easily moved, and you well know how often people have impressions which are never realized. But I will say that a sudden departure from earth seems to me calculated to glorify God, just as much, if not more, than a protracted illness. And if either our beloved brother or sister were thus taken by surprise, and required to *’ open unto Him immediately,’’^ I should think of it as in the case of Emory. The church was then roused through the length and breadth of the land, to feel the solemn import of the words, “Be ye also ready, for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man Cometh.”
I am trying to have my work “all done up,” and to do what my hand findeth to do, with my might. So many are comparatively easy without having on the white robe, that I have thought, if my being taken at a moment’s warning would arouse the many for whom I have been interested to feel abidingly the importance of being ready, I would be willing to be laid a sacrifice upon the service of the faith of the church in this matter also. Shall we not strive with pen and voice, and in every possible way, to work while the day lasts?
Yours, as ever.
Members of one Body. Po-wer to exercise Faith may be withheld.