The Young Woman at Home

‘“‘Children obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honor thy father and mother; which is the first ccmmandment with promise.” — EpxHrEsians vi. 1, 2. ‘‘It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” — PROVERBS xxi 19.

‘Be kindly affectioned one to another” — Rom, xii. 10.

Ir was the saying of a judicious governess to a pupil just quitting her establishment, “Be assured, my young friend, that the order, comfort, and happiness of a family, very greatly depend upon the temper and conduct of the younger members of it, when they cease to be children. I have seen the declining years of some kind parents completely embittered by the pride, self-will, and inconsiderate conduct of their young people. When a young lady returns home, if she is not so good a daughter as she was before, whatever acquisitions she may have made at school, she had better never have been there.”

This advice, so sensible and so appropri te, not only shows how well-qualified was the adioirable woman who proffered it for the discharge of her duties, but is well worthy of being written in the first page of every young woman’s album; yea upon the tablet of her heart, and to be read every Jay of her residence in her father’s house.

It has been said, we are all really what we are relatively. Akin to this, we may add, every one is best known at home. Many people not only dress their person, but their character, when they go into company, till it has become almost a current saying, “Tell me not what they are in company, but what they are in the family circle.” Home, as we have already said in a former discourse, is one of the sweetest words in our language; and nowhere better understood than in our own country. But it involves as many duties as it does enjoyments. It-is not only a paradise of delights, but a school of virtue. A family is a little world within doors: the miniature resemblance of the great world without. It is in the home of her parents that a young female is trained for the future home of her own; and, generally speaking, what she was in the former, that, in full maturity and expansion, she will be in the latter — the good wife, and judicious mother, looking well to the ways of her household, being the full-blown rose of which the good girl, at home, was the bud of promise and of hope. And it may be depended upon as a principle, suggested by reason, as well as a fact corroborated by observation, that she who contributes n«thing to the happiness of her early home, as a daughter, is not likely to find others contributing to her Jater one as a wife, a mother, and a mistress,

It is, therefore, of immense importance that you should, at once, at the very commencement of this discourse, pause and ponder the momentous truth that you are preparing your own future home by the manner in which you conduct yourself in that of your father; and because of its importance it is thus dwelt upon with such repetition.

In one aspect, the subject of this sermon is of more consequence, in reference to you, than it is in reference to your brothers; you remain longer at home than they. It is the usual order of things for them to remove early from beneath the parental roof, first to learn, and then to pursue, their avocations in life; so that if cher temper be unamiable, and their habits unfriendly to domestic peace, they soon depart, and bear away the annoyance. But you, if not necessitated to go out into a situation for your own support, remain with your parents till you are married, and if not wedded, you are with them continually. In the latter case you are a fixture in the household, and should therefore be a happy one. Of how much comfort or disquiet, according to her character and conduct, may a daughter be to a family through a period of ten or twenty years, dating from the period of her return from school. Hence it is always a source, not of unmixed delight, but of some anxiety, to a considerate mother, what kind of home character her child will prove when she has finished her education, and exchanges the company of her governess and fellow-pupils for that of the family circle.

‘Here, then, is the first thing, the great thing to be determined upon by the young woman at home, to be a large contributor to the happiness of the domestic circle. You can not be a cipher in the house, nor sustain a negative character. You are a member of the little community, and the other members must be affected by your conduct. You are ever in the midst of them, and your actions, words, and very looks, exert an influence upon them. Behold, then, your starting-point in the career of home duties. Take up this resolution intelligently, deliberately, determinately: “I wrt, By Gop’s GRACE, DO ALL I CAN TO MAKE MY HOME HAPPY TO OTHERS, AND THUS COMFORTABLE TO MYszLF.” Look at this resolution, revolve it, imprint it on your memory, heart, conscience. Is it not wise, virtuous, right? Does not reason, conscience, self-love approve it? Let it be a serious matter of consideration with you, and not merely a thought passing through the mind, and leaving no trace behind, but a deep, abiding, influential consideration. Have not your parents a right to expect it? Is it not the most reasonable thing in the world, that enjoying the protection and comforts of home, you should in return make home happy?

To diffuse happiness anywhere is a blissful employment, but most of all, at home. To light up any countenances with joy is to a benevolent mind a desirable thing, but most of all the countenances of parents, and brothers, and sisters. Set out with the intense ambition to compel from the whole family circle the testimony that it was a happy era in the domestic history when you came permanently to reside at home. 0 to hear a mother say, “Thy coming, my daughter, was as the settlement of a ministering angel among us — thy amenities of tentper, thy constant efforts to please, thy sweet and gentle self-sacrificing disposition, have been a lamp in our dwelling, in the light of which we have all rejoiced! What a large accession, my beloved child, hast thou brought to our domestic felicity! Receive thy mother’s thanks and blessing!” A harder heart than yours, my young friends, might be moved by such a hope as this. Contemplate now the contrast to this, when the conduct of a daughter is such as to extort such a declaration as the following from sorrowing parents: “We looked forward with pleasure and with hope, not altogether unmixed with anxiety, to the time when we should receive her back from school, to be our companion and our comfort. How bitter is our disappointment! Her unamiable disposition, her regardleseness of our happiness, her restlessness in the family circle, her craving for any company but ours, are painfully obvious. It was — we regret to say it — a sad increase of our domestic trouble, when she became a permanent inmate of our house.” Sighs and tears follow this sad confession. Which of these shall be the case with you, my young friends? Can you hesitate?

Having, then, made up your mind to be a comfort at home, you should, and will, of course, inquire into the means of accomplishing your purpose, These will, if the purpose be fixed, and the desire intense, almost without enumeration, suggest themselves. They who really want to make others happy, will find out their own means of doing so, and be ingenious in their devices to effectuate the end. Many things are difficult, and require deep thought, but not the study to please. If our heart be set upon it, we can diffuse bliss almost without effurt or contrivance. From a heart fully possessed with the desire to make others happy, kind acts and offices will flow off, like the ebullitions of a spring or the streams of a fuuntain, without the labor of drawing or purifying the water.

But we will, fur your guidance, lay down, rules for that behavior at home, which will enable you to make large contributions to the felicity of the family.

Should your parents themselves be truly pious people, who have trained you up in the fear of the Lord, their deepest solicitude and most earnest prayer for you is, that you may “Remember your Creator in the days of your youth.” You have been the witnesses of some of their anxiety on this ground, and for this object. You have heard a father’s prayers, have seen, perhaps, 8 mother’s tears for your salvation; but of the whole of their. concern on this point you never can know. It is too deep for you to fathom. Till this great subject is determined, till they see you in earnest to lead a pious life, they can not be happy. They value your love, your respect, your attentions to their comfort, your general good conduct, your acquisitions, and not unfrequently feel a parent’s pride over you; but, “Alas, alas!” they say, “one thing thou lackest yet, and that is, the one thing need. ful — true piety — the salvation of the soul. Oh, my daughter, that thou wast a real Christian; and that thy love to Christ was as sincere as thy love to me; and that all thy other excellences were sanctified by the crowning one of true religion!” What a check is such a reflection to the joy of a Christian. parent. How many hours of bitterness such reflections occasion; What an interruption to the bliss of a family does it occasion when there is a difference of taste on this most momentous of all subjects. How is a mother’s heart grieved to see her daughters, after all the pains she has taken with them to form their religious character, more taken up with fashion, company, and gayety, than with eternal realities! And that good man, the father, how is he distressed to see his counsels unheeded, his prayers unanswered, and they whom he had hoped to lead to the altar of God, far more fond of the gay ceremonial of the world. On the other hand, how happy are those parents whose children are one with them in this momentous concern. How sweet and sacred are the seasons of family worship, when, not by constraint, but willingly, the children assemble round the domestic altar, and join in the sacrifize of prayer and praise. No jara and discords now arise for the want of sympathy in these great subjects. No opposition of tastes occurs — no clashing of interests, Often and often does’ the mother exclaim in the fondness of her heart, “Thank God, that dear girl is a Christian, and adds to all her other excellences which endear her to my heart, sincere piety toward God! The beauties of holiness invest her charms with a loveliness that nothing else can impart.”

In order to make home happy, there must be a proper consideration and right discharge of all the duties you owe tu the various members of the little cominunity of which it is composed.

First of all, there are the Pagamuts. That home can not be a happy one where these are neglected, and filial duty is wanting in the heart and conduct of the children. God has selected the ‘most comprehensive term that could be employed on this subject. “Honor thy father and mother” — this includes respect, love, and obedience. I have not time nor is it necessary here to state the claims which parents have upon your gratitude, reverence, and regard. I can only remind you how much of the happiness of home depends upon a right understanding and discharge of the duties you owe to them. When a father’s heart is wounded by disobedient conduct, or even disrespectful language; when a mother’s comfort is neglected, and her burdens are unshared; when it is apparent that children are much more intent upon their own gratification than that of their parents; when ser: vices are rendered tardily, reluctantly, and with ill-nature; when complaint is uttered on one part, only to be answered by impertinence on the other — happiness must be a stranger in such a home. Dis. obedience in young children, in whom reason and reflection are yet feeble, is bad enough, but far worse in those who are grown, or growing to years of maturity. On the other hand, if it be beautiful to see the tender assiduities and affectionate attentions of childhood, which are rather the efforts of instinct than of reason, it is a far more attractive scene to witness the reverent regard, the studious desire to please, the anxious effort to gratify, manifested toward her parents by a grown-up daughter. Here the intelligent mind is moved by the affeotionate heart, and the affectionate heart is, in return, guided and impelled by the intelligent mind.

Have your parents been less educated than you, and at the same time have spared no expense to afford you advantages which they did not possess, how ungrateful would it be in you by any part of your conduct to display your superiority and make them conscious of their ignorance.

Before a mother’s infirmities reach the point of actual incompetency, a good daughter will feel solioitous to share with her the burden of domestic care, and to relieve her as far as possible from her load of maternal duty. This requires caution, lest by an Officious obtrusion of help, it should be suspected she was desirous of thrusting the mother from hei superintendence, and of stepping into her place. It can never fail to wound a mother’s heart to be supposed to be incompetent for her place as female head of the family. Even when imbecility és creeping on, she should be made to feel it as little as possible, and the forms and show of authority be suffered to remain, when the power has passed away. Jealousy is one of the last passions that die in the human heart, and it should not be awakened by any part of filial conduct in the mind of a parent. A wife, mother, and mistress, deposed by her own daughter, is a painful sight. She may have much weakness, but still enough of reflection remains to make her feel her humiliation. Therefore, young women, in aiding a mother, for which you ought to 9e aver in readiness, do not attempt to wrest the xeys from her keeping, but only employ them under her direction. For this be ever ready. It is to me one of the most lovely scenes on earth to see & young woman risen up to be the companion and helper of her mother, placing herself by her side, and foregoing many an invitation and opportunity of personal enjoyment to relieve her solitude, to lighten her cares, or to minister to her comfort. Your object, then, should be to share a mother’s labor, without superseding her authority; and to assist her in a way so tender and so delicate as shall neither awaken her suspicion that you wish to supplant her, nor make her feel that she is incapable cf doing without you.

To these duties all should be attentive, but espetially those daughters who make a profession of religion. Many who hear and many who will read this sermon are happily in this state; and to them would I most earnestly and affectionately say, “Let your light shine” at home, that its inmates “seeing your good works, may glorify God your Heavenly Father.” Let it be most impressively and constantly felt by you, and let it be seen by others that you feel that religion is no abstract thing of times, places, and occasions; but an element of general character, which is to enter into all relations, all duties, and all éngagements. It must improve us in every thing, spreading like a gilded surface over our whole selves and all our conduct, and shining like a beautiful polish on every other excellence. It must make you a better daughter in every respect, more respectful, more kind, more devoted to your parents, and compel them to say, “Happy day when she became a Christian, for from that hour she became a lovelier und more loving child!”’

It may be that in some cases your parents are not truly converted to God. This places you in a difficult and delicate situation, and will require the utmost solicitude, care, and prayer, that you may be prevented from doing or being any thing that would prejudice them against religion; and that you may be enabled on the contrary so to conduct yourself as to prepossess them in its favor. You must affect no superiority, nor even seem to say, “Stand by, I am holier than thou.” This is improper to any one, much more to a parent. You can pray for them, and you can exhibit to hem, by your ex ‘ample invested with all the beauties of holiness, what religion is; but direct efforts to bring them under its influence, though these should not be altogether withheld, should be conducted with the greatest tenderness, humility, modesty, and delicacy. There must be no lecturing, much less any reproach or accusation. A deep, tender, loving solicitude for their spiritual welfare must be seen vailed with modesty, but still seen, penetrating the transparent and graceful covering; a solicitude, which only now and then presumes to speak; but when it does, always in love. Such a line of conduct may accomplish its purpose, and produce results like the following:

“A female, who had been some years known and respected for her quiet, consistent, unobtrusive Christian deportment, called on her minister, to introduce her aged mother, who leaned on her arm, and seemed to repose on her that tender dependence which is so soothing and delightful to an aged parent, and so heart-thrilling to a dutiful and grateful child. Both were overcome by their fevlings, and it was some moments before either could speak. The minister desired them to be seated, and cheerfully said: ‘ Well, Hannah, I suppose this is your good mother — I am very happy to see her.’ ‘ Yes,’ replied the mother, in broken accents, ‘her mother, and her daughter too. Five and twenty years ago I bore her in infancy; and now, through her instru. mentality, I trust I am born to God.’”’

Mr. Jay relates a similar anecdote. “‘ Wel.,’

said a mother, one day, weeping (ber daughter being proposed as a candidate for Christian oommunion), ‘I will resist no longer. How can I bear to see my dear child love and read the Scriptures, while I never look into the Bible — to see her retire and seek God, while I never pray — to see her going to the Lord’s table, while his death is nothing to me? ‘Ah,’ said she to the minister who called to inform her of her daughter’s desire, wiping her eyes, ‘yes, sir, 1 know she is right, and I

am wrong; I have seen her firm under reproach, and patient under provocation, and eheerful in all her sufferings. When, in her late illness, she wag looking for dissolution, heaven stood in her face, Oh, that I was as fit to die! I ought to have taught her, but I am sure she has taught me. How can bear to see her joining the church of God, and leaving me behind — perhaps forever?’ From that hour she prayed in earnest that the God of her child would be her God, and was soon seen walking with her in the way everlasting.”

But there are, in most cases, other members of the household besides the parents — the BRotHERs and sistERs — who also require attention and right conduct from “The Young Woman at Home.” A loving, united, harmonious family, I repeat age in, where, while ‘the children are all devoted to the comfort of their parents and of one another; where each is studious to perform all kind offices, and to please the rest, and all seek the happiness of each, is one of the loveliest scenes to be found in our divided and discordar world. Dr. Watts has taught us this from our childhood:

‘¢ Whatever brawls disturb the street,
There should be peace at home.”

Much, very much, depends upon the daughters for this domestic harmony. They can exert, if prudent, good-tempered, and obliging, a softening influence over the minds and manners of their brothers. A sisterly affection, judiciously displayed, is one of the sweetest and most powerful ingredients in the cup of domestic enjoyment. True it is, that it will require occasionally some little self-denial, and sacrifice of personal gratification, predilection, and ‘eeling, to conciliate the affection, and secure the good-will of brothers, who are apt to begin too soon to feel that they are “the lords of the creation;” and thus to keep the peace of the family. But a girl of good sense and affectionate disposition will go a great way in this direction. Woman is made to yield, though not to be trampled upon. Her gentle nature is formed for submission, rather than for resistance. A good and wise sister will feel this, and her very affection will, in most cases, be her protection. Let her put forth the thousand little arts of ingenuousness, of which she is, or may be mistress, and throw the silken cords of love over her brothers’ hearts, and she may do much to attach, and in some cases even to subject them to her, and make them fond of home. <A husband is but too apt to run away from the home which is tenanted by an ill-natured wife; and brothers have been often driven away to company, by cross, sul. len, unaccommodating sisters. [am aware that it is but too frequently the case, that young men are polite and attentive to every female but those they every day meet at home, and scarcely any one has to complain of a want of civility and complaisance but their sisters. At the same time it must be confessed, that some young women have themselves to blame for this, for it does require more virtue than is ordinarily found, to be very much attached and attentive to such an impersonation of pettishness, j]]- humor, and vanity, as some silly girls present at home. How many parents’ comfort is disturbed, and their hearts half-broken, by the jealousies, en. vies, and contentions of their children.

The elder daughter, especially if she be older than her brothers, also has a larger share of responsibility attaching to her than belongs to any other of the children, just because her influence is greater than any other. She does almost as much to form the character of the younger branches as the moth. er, and when the latter is feeble and inefficient, perhaps more. It is a lovely sight to behold an intelligent and affectionate girl, yet not authoritative or dictatorial, exerting a plastic power over her younger brothers and sisters, setting them a beautiful example of filial -piety, and lending all her efforts to uphold parental authority over them, eonciliating their confidence by her judgment, and their affection by her kindness — throwing a softening and gentle influence over their ruder and harsher natures, and compelling the parents to say, ‘“She is a second mother to the family.” Ye senior daughters, behold your pattern!

The servants must not be left out of consider. ation. These add much, very much, to the comfort or disquiet of families; and they are considerably influenced, not only by the conduct of the parents, but by that of the children. Were I speaking to young men, I should remind them of the distance, without pride — the kindness, without familiarity — the purity in thought, word and deed, which is incumbent in all their conduct — which is necessary to be observed in their conduct — toward female servants. But lam speaking to young women, and therefore remind them that the three things to be practiced are kindness, considerateness and confidence; and the three to be avoided are haughtiness, oppression, and familiarity. A young woman displays considerable littleness of mind, as well as forgetfulness of the laws of God, when she treats a servant with scorn and contempt, as being of an inferior nature. Perhaps, at the same time, that servant may have not only a finer form and a stronger mind, but a holier heart and a diviner taste, than she who treats her with supercilious disesteem. In every thing the servant may be superior except in rank. Nor is this the only kind of ill-treatment that servants are sometimes doomed to bear from their young mistress, and, alas! sometimes at the cognizance of their old mistress too.

Women of high rank and title are brought up with the notion, and the practice also, that they are to do nothing for themseives, and they are usually provided with a waiting-maid to do every thing for them; to whom her place would be a sinecure, if her mistress did any thing for herself. But for vthers in the middle life to be brought up in helplessness, is a discredit to the mother, an injury to the daughter, and generally a cruelty to those who are called to minister to them. Such a system of aping the manners of the nobility, where there: are scarcely means to command help for the ordinary duties of a tradesman’s household, is indeed contemptible. Mothers, 1 speak to you. Train your daughters, not to be fine and helpless ladies, but to be useful wives, mothers, and mistresses.. Be yourselves patterns in these things, and propose the pattern for the imitation of your daughters. See to it, that they learn to help themselves in all proper matters, and do not allow them to prese too hard upon the energies of your servants. Much will depend upon you in this matter. And do you, my young female friends, enter warmly and wisely into-this subject yourselves. Do not affect the fine lady, or wish to be only a kind of dressed doll, to be carried about and played with by others. I do not ask you to do any thing to demean yourselves below your rank and station, or any thing that would degrade you in the eyes of the servants themselves; but still be ambitious to grow up in a state of independence, and in a preparedness to make your way through life, even against difficulties and privations, should you be called to meet with them. Your own happiness, as well as the comfort of the servants, demands you should be as considerate and give as little trouble as possible. It was certainly a happy invention for mistresses when bell-hanging was invented, but a great misery for some servants, in whose ears the jingle of the parlor or bed-room bell is ever going. ‘“What,” says many a thoughtless young woman, “were servants given for but to wait upon us?’ And what were young limbs given you for but to wait upon yourselves? It would do some young persons good, if for one year, at least, they were without a servant at all, and had every thing to do for themselves. How much better, how much nobler than this inconsiderateness, is the kindness which not only avoids giving trouble, but that, also, which leads a young woman, in addition to attending to her general comfort, to teach a servant to read and write, and to take the oversight of her education in things important for her to know, especially the subject of personal religion.

But there is another thing on which a few remarks should be made, and that is, the undue familiarity which young women sometimes contract with female servants. Kindness, to whatever extent it may and should be carried, and whatever offices it leads to, does not imply companionship: a good and wise servant will not wish it, and knows her place too well to make the attempt. It is only she whose mind is as artful as that of her young mistress ts weak, that will seek to gain ascendancy over her, and to become her confidante. “A young lady,” says Mrs, Copley, “would very much degrade and injure herself by choosing to make a servant, however respectable, her familiar associate, the vehicle of gossip or scandal, the partner in her jokes, the confidante of her affairs. Such intimacies are most prejudicial, disgraceful, and perilous. Many a young lady, who thought it no harm to listen to the flattering tales of an artful servant, about her beauty and her conquests, has been led on to receive from her hands the seductive letter, to fall in with her contrivance for clandestine interviews, and at length to complete a marriage without the knowledge or approbation of her parents, and in its results ruinous to herself. Where things have not been carried on to this disastrous extremity, much levity and imprudence have resulted from such unprofitable and unsuitable intimacies, which have occasioned unpleasant reports and surmises at the time, and have formed matter of painful reflection in the mind of the individual, long after the connection has been dissolved, and the danger escaped.”

I now suggest some other matters, partially implied in what we have already advanced, but of sufficient importance to be brought out into full view. Among these must be mentioned aMIaBILITY: in other words, that sweetness of temper which is ever seeking to please, and to avoid whatever would offend. There is a saying, that “Temper is every thing.” This is going too far, since there is no doubt

mi a good temper is sometimes associated with bad principle; while on the other hand, there are many high-principled and noble-minded individuals, who are troubled, equally to their own annoyance and that of their friends, with infirmities of temper. Still, though not every thing, good temper is a great thing. No doubt very much depends in this matter upon our physical organization, for we see the same difference in the brute creation that we observe in the human species. But this, though an explanation, is not an apology: because reason and religion may do much, and in myriads of instances have done much, to correct and improve a disposition naturally bad. Begin life, then, young women, with a deep impression of the value of good temper, both to your own happiness and to that of the persons with whom you have to do, especially the family circle. Study your own temper. Know well what it is you have to contend with in your own case, and set yourselves most diligently to subdue it. Be mistress of your temper. Bad temper is a generic phrase, of which there are several species — as, for instance, there is a peevishness or petulance about some persons which makes them susceptible of offense, not of either a very deep or passionate kind, but an irritability which disposes them to be hurt at little things, and to complain of the conduct of others, rather than to have their resentment excited. Then there is the violent temper, which is excited by some supposed or real offense to sudden ebullitions of wrath, sometimes even to a storm, or what we call being ina passion. There is also the sullen disposition, which, on being contradicted, opposed, or reproved, sinks into a silent, moody, and inwardly resentful state of mind. Persons of this turn will sulk for hours, if not days; retiring into themselves, they will brood over the matter which has occasioned this unhappy state, till they have actually made themselves ill by their bad temper; and yet, if expostulated with, will aseert they are not ill-tempered, but only “hurt.” This is the disposition which, more than any thing else, is an interruption to domestic peace. I am no apologist for stormy passions, or for those that indulge them, but those who are soon in a blaze, and as soon cooled down, and the fire extinguished, are not so inimical to the peace of a family, as they in whose heart the embers of ill-will are kept long smouldering under the ashes, and not suffered to goout. But besides these, there are other varieties of temper which are sadly inimical to domestic peace. There is the selfish disposition, which leads its possessor ever to be seeking to concentrate the regards of the family upon herself, especially if subject to indisposition. All must bend to her, and every hand be employed by her. Her will must be consulted in every thing, and her comfort be the study of all. She must engross the affection of the parents, the regard of the brothers and sisters, and the time, attention, and labor of the servants. This is sometimes fostered by injudicious parents, who excite the envy and jealousy of the other branches of the family, by this exaction from all for the sake of the one. True, where there is much indisposition, the sufferer should be, and usually is, the center of sympathetic attention; but where the ailments are slight, and especially where the patient is apt to exaggerate them, she should not be petted into an engrossing and exacting selfishness; but should be gently taught to have a little regard to the comfort of others. In addition to these, there is the jealous and envious disposition, which contends not only for pre-eminence, but for monopoly; which accounts as a rival every one who receives the least special notice, and dislikes her on that account. What petty

passions of this kind often creep into families, and poison all the springs of domestic happiness. Consider how much the tempers of its members have to do with the peace of a household — how much of sunshine one sweet and lovely disposition, constantly in exercise, may throw over a household; and on the other hand, how much of cloud, and gloom, and storm, one passionate, sullen, selfish, or envious tempe may bring over the little community at home.

My young friends, begin life with a deep conviction — and you can not have it too deep — of the importance of this subject. A bad temper will torment you through life. With this, you will carry your own curse with you everywhere. It will multiply your enemies, and alienate your friends; it will becloud your reason, and hinder your relig. ion, it will embitter your comforts, and envenom your trials; it will make you unhappy a¢ home, and procure for you distress from home; it will give you wretchedness at the time, and conscious guilt and painful reflections afterward; it will deprive your days of peace, and your nights of sleep; in short, a bad temper will be to the soul what a chronic and painful disease is to the body — a constant source of uneasiness and distress — with this difference, that whereas the former is a visitation from God, the latter is our own doing; and while one to the Christian brings its own consolation with it, the other brings nothing but punishment and shame,

To make home happy, you must, of course, de conformed to its general rules. This, perhaps, it is less necessary to insist upon in reference to you, than it is to your brothers, because you are less in danger than they of infringing upon domestic order, Every well-regulated family has its laws and customs, its times and seasons, its government and authority. These must be observed, if the little community be kept in order and good condition. I will suppose it is a pious family, where God is worshiped, and the morning and evening sacrifice are duly offered upon the domestic altar. At the appointed hour, all ought to be present. Nothing can be more unseemly than to see one member after another come dropping in while the Scriptures are being read, as if the Bible were only the prayerbell to call the family together for worship. J have often witnessed this, and have heard the objurgaticn of the father to his dilatory children, whose want of punctuality had been occasioned only by a wretched, slothful habit of lying late in bed. It has really in some cases given rise to domestic quarrels. Much the same remark will apply to other matters. The father of a family may see reason to object to the late hours of the present day, and may request that all his household shall be at home by a certain hour of the evening. It may be thought by his children he is too precise — too antiquated in his notions — too inconsiderate of their gratification — but still it is his law; he is master of his house, and they are his subjects, who are to obey. It is quite unseemly for the children to be ever maintaining a struggle against paternal rule and maternal counsel. On the contrary, it is the glory and the praise of a good and dutiful child to find what sacrifices of feeling and gratification she can submit to, rather than commit herself to a struggle with parental rule and domestic government. On the other hand, parents should be very careful not to make their yoke oppressive, and their burden heavy. The laws of the family should not be too stringent, nor the authority of the parent tyrannical, capricious, and unnecessarily precise But they must be obeyed as long as they lust, and the elder branches of the family, where there are younger ones, should excel in leading them, both by example and precept, to this habitual conformity to household law.

If you would make home happy, you must, of course, be happy at home. No one can diffuse joy who is not joyful. The passions are infectious, because the heart is sympathetic. Cheerful persons make others so, and so does the gloomy one, just as the sun irradiates by his beams, or the clouds darken by their shadow, the whole landscape. A young person whose heart finds its resting-place in the domestic circle; whose sympathies are with household scenes; whose chosen companions are her parents, and her brothers, and sisters; whose pleasures are the sweet interchanges of domestic offices and affections; whose loved employment it is to make her daily contribution to the comfort of the little community within doors; and whose good. humored disposition radiates from smiling eyes, and flows from gently-curled lips — such an inmate is a blessing to the house in which she dwells, The soft music of her speech, aided by the genial influence of her accommodating and insinuating temper, sheds a benign influence on all the family. But observe the opposite to all this — the girl that looks round upon her home as a prison rather than & paradise, and seems to think that to stay at home is a penance rather than a pleasure; from all which she is anxious to escape, and is ever seeking opportunities to effect her purpose. Her gloomy aspect, her sullen disposition, her discontented air, her repulsive taciturnity, her peevish expressions, wher she does break silence, her unsympathizing isolation — what a member of the family is this! She has there no associates, no objects of strong affee: tior, nothing to engage and interest her heart; but is ever seeking occasions to slip away, upon sny pretense, or into any engagement. She is ever on the watch for opportunities or excuses for absence; ready for any errand; eager for every business that opens the door for her egress. She is not happy but in a continual round of parties, visits, or out-of-door novelties, of which this fertile age is ms, prolific. Any society, rather than that of the family, and any scenes rather than those of home, suit her taste. Can such a young person make home happy? Yes, if a specter can do it — for such, or little better, is she. Young people, I repeat, be happy at home. Parents, put forth all your ingenuity to make them so, by investing home with its proper attractions. Mothers, this devolves much on you. Be you “keepers at home,” for a gossiping mother is sure to make gossiping daughters. Let it be seen that you are happy at home, in the midst of your families,. Put on a cheerful countenance, that your children may love to bask in the sunshine of your smiles. Be the center of attraction to your families, and let the household delight to revolve in sweetest harmony around your maternal chair.

Industrious habits will contribute greatly to the happiness of home, especially on the part of a young female. Slothfulness is a wretched thing, not only as regards the subject of it, but as affecting others. A lazy person can not be a happy one. Indolence is a constant opposition to the law of our being, which is made for activity. That there is a species of indulgence connected with it, is true; but it is a very mixed kind of gratification, for as it is against nature, there is sometimes a consciousness of this, which awakens the conscience and inflicts remorse. To the remonstrances of conscience are added the reproaches of others; and as it can not always be indulged, there are the repugnance, the lassitade, the vis tnertie to be overcome, which makes the least exertion of indolence more wearisome than far greater efforts of activity. Slothfulness is a miserable object to look at. The very sight of it inflicts pain upon an industrious person. What a misery is it to an industrious mother, to see the dull, heavy, immovable habits of a daughter, whom neither entreaties, persuasives, nor rebukes can quicken into activity, or excite to industry — who, if moved at all, must be moved like a stone up hill, by main force, and which, without the same effort to keep it going, is ever rolling back again into’ its former place: a poor, lumpish creature, who is enough to wear out the patience of the most for. bearing and affectionate mother on earth. Such a habit must be destructive of domestic happiness, It may not come into the family with the noise, and destructive force, and fury of a hurricane, like the profligacy of a prodigal son, but it settles down upon its comfort like the silent power of a blight or a mildew. It is a constant vexation, which eats into the very core of a mother’s heart, when she finds that a daughter who is grown to an age whey ahe ought to be a relief to maternal labor and solic’

itude, is a heavy increase to both. This wretched habit may be overcome, and it must be, or you will be a poor, helpless, useless, unhappy creature through life. If indolent in your parents’ house, what are you likely to be in your own. An idle daughter is likely to make an idle mother; and from my soul, I pity the man who is tied for life to a lazy, indolent woman. Ne personal charms, no mental acquirements, no brilliancy of conversation, can make up for the want of domestic industry: and,.indeed, these things are rarely found in the absence of industry, for indolence is usually too lazy to acquire knowledge; the habits of soul and body being in sympathy with each other.

It is essential to your making home happy that there should be much self-denial — a spirit of forbearance — an occasional surrender, for the sake of peace, of supposed rights — a willingness to forego what you could righteously claim as your own. I! am aware there are limits to this, especially in cases where concession pampers tyranny and invitea oppression. There may be brothers, and even sisters, whose disposition is so encroaching that it should, by parental authority, be resisted on behalf of the weaker and more yielding members of the household. It is, however, far better in some cases to concede rights, when the sacrifice is not too costly, and does not involve a violation of principle, than to contend for them. The contest, even where it is. successful, often costs more than it is worth — the victory does not pay for the battle

Be, therefore, content sometimes to lose a little for the sake of retaining a great deal more. I can not give you a piece of advice more conducive to your peace at home, or to your comfort through life, than to be ever ready gracefully and quietly to bear with the infirmities of disposition of those around you, and to yield in little things what you deem belongs to you, rather than disturb the peace of the family by contending for them.

Nearly allied to this is the importance of neve. seeking to engross an undue share of parenta. affection, Let there be.no ambition to be a favorite, nor any arts to obtain this distinction. Some young people have made home miserable in this way. They have been base and guilty enough to attempt to rise in the esteem and affection of their parents, by little arts of detraction in reference to their brothers and sisters; and some parents are weak enough to encourage the attempt. Partiality is then not only cherished but manifested. Envy and jealousy ensue. The peace of the family is destroyed. Abhor this conduct, and be content to share with other branches of the family your parents’ justly-apportioned regards.

Recollect that your power to contribute to the happiness of home does not depend on the performance of rare and great services, which do but very seldom occur, but in attention to little things, which are ever transpiring. Our existence as to time is made up not only of years, but of moments our body as to bulk, not only of Imbs, but of particles. ou: history as to events, not only of great events, but of little oecurrences: and our obligations, not only of splendid acts of duty, but of seemingly insignificant ones. Set out in life with a deep sense of the importance of little things, or, rather, with a onnviction that where character, duty, and happiness are concerned, relating not only to ourselves but to others, nothing is little. ‘This applies especially to your conduct in the family. In that little world, then, keep up a constant attention to what will constitute the felicity of the passing hour. True politeness has been defined to consist in “denevolence in trifles.” It is a beautiful definition, and is worthy of being remembered by all who would fill the family circle with bliss. By politeness here I do not mean the heartless and unmeaning ceremony of the world, such as is taught by Lord Chesterfield’s pages; nor even the graceful polish of manners which characterizes the intercourse of well-bred people; but a gentle, obliging deméanor and delicacy of behavior toward all around; that mode of conducting ourselves toward others which is opposed to all that is coarse, vulgar, rude, and offensively familiar. The politeness that I mean is not affection’s root, but it is its flower, beauty, and fragrance; or if not the plant itself, it is like the hedge round it, which preserves it from being trampled under foot. In the family circle all the little acts that can give pleasure or pain, yea, all the words, tones, and looks, should ever be considered and weighed. Woman has, perhaps, more tact and discernment in reference to the minor affairs of. life than man. Her mental eye is more discerning, her touch more delicate, her taste more refined on all matters of behavior. Let her, therefore, keep up this in reference to the conduct at home. Mrs, Copley, in dwelling upon this, has the following reference to her own history: “Might I be permitted to say, that after the lapse of twenty-six years, a sensation of pleasure thrills through my fingers, when I recollect the daily task of tying on my father’s neckcloth, and eombing back my mother’s silvery locks.” * * * “But we return to the more ordinary circumstances of young females, resident under the parental roof, after having finished the term of their education; and observe, that their conduct should be marked by a soothing forbearance and tenderness toward the infirmities of their parents. Deafness, lameness, dim-sightedness, and other infirmities of age, circumscribe their pleasures, and, perhaps, a degree of fretfulness is sometimes observed. But a dutiful child will be fertile in expedients to extend their pleasures, to. alleviate their privations, and to bear with and soothe their infirmities. The prompt eye will discern their needs, and anticipate their wishes. The needle will be threaded before the eye aches with endeavoring, and before the sigh is excited by inability, te accomplish it; or, by gentle and playful persuasion, the needle-work will be exchanged for knitting or netting. The leg-rest or the footstool will be presented or exchanged before complaint of uneasiness is uttered. The large-printed Bible and the speo tacles will be placed at hand; the dim columns of the newspaper will be read aloud; the inquiring eye will be answered by a repetition of the conversation, or of the sacred address, which, uttered by a stranger’s voice, had passed over the dull ear; and in the most exalted sense, the benevolent pleasure will be enjoyed of being eyes to the blind, feet to the lame, ears to the deaf, and causing the trembling heart to sing for joy.”*

I now return to the idea with which we started — that the right conduct of a “daughter at home,” is.to study to make home happy. There is, my young friends, a fascination in the very expression — a Happy HoME. And so far as what may be called the poetry of home scenes is concerned, is there a lovelier flower to be found in this garden of earthly delights, this paradise of sweets, than a good daughter and affectionate sister, adorning her maiden charms with the virtues that become her sex, her age, and her: relationships, and elevating and sanctifying all her other excellences by a saintly piety, which makes her lovely in the eyes of God by all the beauties of holiness? Her father’s pride,

These extracts are from an anonymous work published by the Religious Tract Society, entitled ‘‘ Female Excellence,” which was written, as well as many others, by that admirable woman. If the productions of her pen had not the brilliancy of many other writers, they are all adapted to usefulness. By her decease the female part of the community have lost one of their ablest guides her mother’s comfort, and her brother’s companion, she is the ministering angel of them all. Tow much of bliss does that one dear object of their common affection throw over them all! Her absence is mourned as a common loss, and her return to the family circle is hailed as the restoration of a suspended enjoyment. This loved one has been loved by another that belongs not to the family, but who is about, through her, to be united with it. With what a treasure, at their expense, is he about to enrich his own home. Their hearts, at the thought of parting from her, bleed from wounds which nothing but the hope of her happiness could heal. Her removal leaves a blank, which, as they look upon her vacant seat, calls up recollections, and produces a sense of deprivation, which even her happy union can scarcely appease. But as woman’s mission is to make happy the home of her husband, she is now gone forth to fulfill hers, Well has she been trained, and well has she trained herself, also, at her mother’s home, for this home of her own, where all the united excellences of the good daughter and the good sister now develop and blend in the more mature and matronly virtues of the good wife, mother, and mistress; and she who, as “the young woman at home,” contributed so largely to the felicity of one family circle, was preparing to contribute still more largely te the felicity of another, and that other is her own. Behold, my young friends, your pattern. May the im. itation of it be your study, your prayer, your bliss,