A Word with the Head of the House
“For I know him, that he will command his children, and his household after him.” Genesis 18: 19.
Riding through the country not long ago with one of the bishops of the Methodist church, I said to him: “What is the special truth to-day needing emphasis in our teaching?” He responded quickly: “A better home life.” This being true, there is no one of greater importance in the consideration of this subject than the head of the household, the father and the husband. You always do well to tie to the man in whom the Lord has confidence. He loves us all and will continue to love us unto the end, but He trusts only a few, it would seem. The world usually bases its opinion of us upon our reputation, God always bases His upon character. He is truly a great man and a good man of whom God could say as in the text above quoted: “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him.”
There are two or three things in particular in the story of Abram which should be remembered, for they show God’s appreciation of him:
First. When Lot was separated from Abram and he stood alone, Abram permitted God to choose for him. You can only fully trust that man who allows God this privilege.
Second. Do not forget that picture of him as he sat at the door of the tent at noon, when three men in shining garments stood before him; they were angels. The principal one was the Angel of the Covenant or the Angel of the Lord. Happy that man in whose home the Lord loves to tarry and in whose home there is nothing to forbid His resting for a little while. How would it be in your own home? His will is that husbands should love their wives, that wives should obey their husbands, that children should honor their parents, that parents should not provoke their children to wrath, and He cannot tarry where there is the least contention or strife. Have you noticed the question that the angel of the Lord put to Abram: ‘’Where is Sarai, thy wife?” he said. How did He know that he had a wife, or that her name was Sarai? For the very reason that the eyes of God are upon us always. He is taking note of all we do. He weighs our motives and reads our thoughts and numbers our households, and Abram stood this test, so the scripture was true of him.
Third. There is some significance in the fact that Abram had what Lot did not have. Three angels came to him, but only two to Lot. The Angel of the Covenant did not go into Sodom. Both of these men, Abram and Lot, were God’s chosen ones, but the difference was that Abram dwelt in Canaan while Lot dwelt in the cities of the plain. We may as well remember that God only dwells with the man whose life is according to His will. What an illustration Christ was in this respect! “I come to do
Thy will,” He said. This was His life. “My meat is to do Thy will.” It was His food. “He that doeth the will of God the same is my brother and sister and mother.” In that society He lived and lives to-day. “Teach me to do Thy will.” It was His whole education. “I delight to do Thy will.” It was His constant pleasure. “He that doeth the will of God abideth forever.” It makes provision for our eternity.
I know how much of holy sentiment there is about the name of mother, and I would not detract in the least from it, but have you ever noticed how the Bible exalts the love of a father? When the tenderness of God is to be pictured it is in these words: “Like as a father pitieth his children,” and again in the story of Jacob, when he said: “Me ye have bereft of my children,” and still again in the sob of David, when he cried out: “O Absalom, Absalom!” or in the picture in the New Testament of the father who wailed for the prodigal to return. The records of the church have been made glorious by the stories of the faithfulness of fathers as well as the devotion of mothers. In the autobiography of John G. Paton, the missionary to the New Hebrides, the great missionary attributes most of the blessing of his life to the influence of his father. The boy is on his way to Glasgow to begin his life work, and he says:
“My father walked with me six miles. His counsel, his tears, his heavenly conversation are as fresh as if they happened yesterday. Tears are on my cheeks as freely now as then whenever memory steals me away to the scene. The last half mile was walked in unbroken silence, with his hat in his hand, his long hair flowing- upon his shoulders, his lips moving in silent prayer, tears were falling from his eyes, when our eyes met. Suddenly we stopped, and he said: ‘God bless you, my son; your father’s God prosper you and keep you from evil.’ Unable to say more, we embraced and parted, and when I came to the bend in the road and looked back I saw that he was still standing and looking, and then I climbed to the dyke and looked and he was still waiting, and I vowed a vow that I would never do a thing that would disgrace such a father, and the memory of him drove me to do God’s will as he did it.”
It is my prayerful hope that the picture of such a father might inspire us all. The Bible teaches that every man must be a priest in his own household. If so he must keep himself unspotted from the world. “I charge you,” said a dying mother to her husband, “bring all these children home with you,” and that is God’s charge to every father in this world.
There are certain reasons why God could say: “I know him.” He could remember how he had been living back in Ur, or in the days of idolatry, when He called him as He afterwards called Elijah, Peter, Matthew, and still later summoned Cromwell from his farm and Luther from the cloister, when the call means separation from the fatherland and his kinsmen, and that he must be a stranger in a strange land, and it is written in the Hebrews when he was called he obeyed and that made him a hero. God always trusts men when they obey Him and no one can ever command until first he learns to obey. No home can be happy unless the children obey the parents, and no home can be a true home unless the parents obey God. Have you obeyed God in your home? In His sight you are a priest; have you maintained your position? In the life of John G. Paton we are told that the custom of morning and evening prayer was ever maintained in his father’s household; until the day of his death, at seventy-seven years, he failed not, and when the last day of his life came he was heard repeating the psalm and breaking forth into prayer, and his distinguished son says.
“I never can remember that any day ever passed when this was omitted. No hurry for the market, no rush for business, no arrival of friends, no trouble or joy ever prevented our kneeling about the altar, while the high priest led us to God and offered himself and his children there. The worst woman in the town where we lived crept up to that window and heard my father pleading for sinners in his prayer and was saved.”
Oh, for a home so full of God that the overflow of it can lead a soul to Christ! God was not shut up to the present or the past in knowing Abram, but the future was as an open book. He knew that He would stand as an intercessor for Sodom, and He knew exactly what kind of intercession that would be. It is a pattern for us to-day. There was real concern for Lot.
An old Scotch woman’s son Walter had gone away and sent his mother no letter, so that she did not know whether he was dead or alive. Every night, as she prayed, she would throw open the door and cry aloud, “Come home, Walter; your mother misses you so,” and every morning, for twenty >’ears, at the break of day, she climbed to the top of the hill and looked in the direction in which he had gone and prayed for his return. Abram’s concern was like this; there was real prayer in his intercession. He waited until he was alone with God. Every father ought to have such an experience as this.
Referring again to the life of John G. Paton, the great missionary says: “Our house consisted of two rooms, one front and one back. There was a kind of closet between, and thither, three times a day, my father retired and shut the door. We children got to understand and know by a kind of instinct that the prayer was being poured out there after the manner of the high priests in the holy of holies. We occasionally heard his pathetic tones pleading for us, and we got so we walked past the door on tip-toe for fear we might disturb him.” No wonder a home like that has blessed the world.
God also knew Abram in that other real test of his faith when He said: “Take thy son, thy only son, Isaac.” Isaac was the dearest thing in the world to him. Suppose God should touch that which is best in your life, what would you say? If any one could rebel under such circumstances there must be something wrong. I can see Abram and Isaac starting early in the morning, for three days they journey, and then they see the mountain of sacrifice, and Abram said: “Tarry here.” When Isaac asked him, saying, “Where is the lamb?” the father’s reply was: “God will prepare His sacrifice.” He placed Isaac upon the altar, raised the knife which flashed in the sunlight, and suddenly God said: “Abram, lay not thy hand upon the child. I know that thou fearest God, thou hast not withheld thy son.” It may be that there is something between you and your children that is keeping your child back from Christ.
A father and a son heard the minister preach when the subject was “The Judgment,” The boy was profoundly moved and walked home from the church without saying a word, made his way to his room, threw himself upon his bed, and a little later heard his father whistling and singing. He rose from his bed and said: “It cannot be true; if my father realized that I was lost he could not whistle and he would not sing.” And when that boy came to manhood, instead of casting his influence as he might have done with the Evangelical church, he became one of the greatest leaders of Unitarianism that the world has ever known. It may be that you have not yet yielded up everything you have to God, and for that reason your home life is not all that it should be. Never until spirit, soul and body are absolutely controlled by God may we expect Him to dwell in us in fullness and use us for His glory. It may be you are living in what may be properly called a backsliding condition; if so, then let it be ever remembered that God will not send His blessing upon you until you come back into close fellowship with Him.
I once heard Major Whittle give the following illustration: “At a weekly prayer meeting where ‘Separation from the world and consecration to God’ had been presented as the topic for consideration, a gentleman related the following experience:
“‘I came to this city several years ago a professing Christian. I was a member of such a church, a regular attendant at the prayer meeting, a teacher in the Sunday School, and maintained daily worship in my family. But gradually I became engrossed in business; and the ambition to be rich took possession of me. I gave up my Sunday School class — too tired when Sunday came to attend to it; and the prayer meeting was neglected for the same reason. Soon family worship was also dropped, and I went on for some years, a merely nominal Christian, attending church on Sunday, but without any real communion with God, and without any real happiness of soul. God often spoke to me, and I expected His chastening hand to come in some way. At last it came. I had but one child — a little daughter — the idol of my heart. One evening I was unexpectedly at home. My business usually occupied my evenings, and I was very little with my family, and they had not looked for my coming. My little daughter, much to my annoyance, was absent; and when her mother told me she had permitted her to go into a neighbor’s for an hour, I was unreasonably angry, and sent for her, and declared that if she went there again I should punish her, “‘Several weeks after this T was again unexpectedly at home; and again my little girl was away. My wife was much troubled in having to tell me that being quite sure that I had no real objection to her going into our neighbor’s where she was under the very best influence — and not thinking I should be at home — she had allowed her to go. I sent for the little girl and chastised her. Just before going to her room she came, and between sobs, said: “Papa, I am sorry I disobeyed you. I thought perhaps you would be willing if mamma was. And Mr. Smith prays with his children every night and I went in to pray for you, papa.” The next day my little girl was laid up with scarlet fever; and in three weeks I followed her little body to the grave. I came back to the house, I trust, a humbled, chastened man. My family altar was again erected, my place in the prayer meeting again filled; and by God’s help I purpose henceforth to live for Him. But, my friends, my getting into the world, and what it has cost me, is a sad memory. May God lead you to accept His will without waiting for the discipline.’”
If every father in the church were right with God it is absolutely certain that we should soon find the church throbbing with the mighty power of God.