London, October 7, 1796

MY DEAR SIR,

SIX weeks absence has thrown my home affairs sadly behind hand: but I hope the time was not wholly lost. We, that is dear Miss C*** and myself, left London the 19th August, and returned the 1st instant. We spent the first week at Reading, where the Lord has many people, warm-hearted, upright, and loving. The rest of our time we were at Mr- T***’s, at Portswood Green, from whence I have written to you formerly. He lives within two miles of S****, where there are five churches, but no pulpit open for me. But Mr. T*** opened his house, and made room for about 300 hearers. I preached three evenings in the week, while I staid — we were often full — my hearers were chiefly from the neighbouring villages, and seem willing to hear the gospel, if they had any body to preach it to them. But, alas! in those parts, and in many parts of the kingdom, comparatively a land of light,

“The hungry sheep look up, but are not fed.”

We need not go far from home to find people no less ignorant of spiritual things, no less unconcerned about their souls, than the heathens in Africa or Otaheite. We are encouraged, yea we are commanded to pray, that the Lord of the harvest would send forth more faithful labourers, for as yet they are but few, compared with the extensive wilds at home and abroad.

I have received a letter from B***, dated, I think, the 27th August. They were then all well, off the Canary Islands, entering upon the trade winds, and by this time may be at the Cape of Good Hope. I saw his call clear, and gave him up without reluctance, though he was to me as a

right hand. I then engaged a J B r to

be my curate. He was my intimate friend. I had been chiefly instrumental in bringing him forward. He was ordained about two years ago. He was able and ready as a preacher, humble, spiritual, and devoted as a christian, beyond the common standard at his years. I was ready to call him Seth, and thought the Lord had given him to me in the room of B n. But a few days before I left London, he was suddenly taken with a bleeding of his lungs, which terminated his life below in about a fortnight. He was bereaved of an excellent wife last summer. Of four children, one only was left, a sweet little boy of about four years old. This child was taken with the small-pox while his father was ill, he could not see the child, but lived to hear of his death. He and I had promised ourselves much pleasure in our connexion; but we are short-sighted creatures. Thus all his earthly expectations were crossed; but his last words were, 41 The Lord has done all things -well? and from them 1 preached his funeral sermon last Sabbath evening. I thank the Lord I can say and believe he does all things well; but I have had my feelings: for I hoped I had found a person on whom I might fully depend, and whom my people would hear with pleasure in case I should be laid aside. Perhaps I am to live and preach a little longer. If it be so, zvett, if otherwise, xvelly he does all things well; and when he sees I really need assistance, he can provide it. My part is to live to-day, and to leave to-morrow with him.

I perhaps may write a paper for the work you mention, but I know not when, I am so overwhelmed with correspondence. Though I wrote more than forty letters while abroad, I have nearly as many by me that should be answered, if I could find time, and almost every post adds to their number. Many are from strangers, which must be noticed of course when I cannot write to my friends. Then I have so many visitants, that I can seldom call an hour my own, when I am at home; and if I could attend to the sick and the sorrowful as I wish, I should be always abroad. I wish likewise to return to the Life of Mr. Grimshaw, which has lain by untouched for six months past. So that I am indeed full-handed.

I am glad to hear well of Mrs. H***, and hope I should have heard from her. I had no fear of her not being supported. How can they fall who lean upon the Lord, and have an almighty arm underneath them? Give our warm love to her, to Mr. and Mrs. B***, &c. If you printed the second anniversary, “When grace her balm to sooth ?ny pain,” and have any left that you can spare, I shall be obliged to you for a few copies. We have none here in print but what are bound up with Letters to a Wife.

I am now getting into my old track, which seems to suit me better than rambling about. I have cause to be thankful, that abroad, while I was abroad, was very pleasant, but still hornets heme, I love my friends at a distance, but it is not practicable to travel to them all; and therefore I am glad when they call upon me in London, as many of them do in the course, of the year; and I seldom stir out for two or three days but I miss some whom I should have seen, if I had remained upon the spot. There was a time when I did not know that I had a friend in the world, excepting my dear Mary’s family; but the Lord has given me so many since, that 1 cannot express a proper regard to them all. Jacob’s acknowledgment, with a little variation, become me — “With my staff I came over Jordan, and now I am become two bands!” What a wretch was I in Africa! A servant of slaves, scorned and yet sometimes pitied, by the lowest of the human race! And how is it with me now? O Lord, I am a wonder to many, and to myself!

My eventful life is drawing to a close. While I walked in the way of transgressors, I found it hard indeed! Since the Lord took me up, outcast as I was, and brought me into his fold, my path has been as remarkably smooth. So far as happiness can be found in externals, I have known it: yet I cannot wish to live my most pleasant days over again. Sin and vanity are entwined with them all. I am still as happy as temporals in my widowed state can make me. But I am not sorry that I am in my 72d year. I. have lived long enough to know what the world can do, and what it cannot do. I have no business in it, but to fill up the uncertain remnant, as becomes a believer and a minister of the gospel. If the Lord by his grace enables me for this, I care not whether my stay here be longer or shorter; only may I be found ready when the summons shall come. Pray for me, and I will try to pray for you. May the gracious Saviour dwell with you, and with me, and with all who love him, as the Lord, the guardian, and beloved of our hearts. Amen. Believe me to be

Your sincerely affectionate friend,
J. N.