Dying Words

Fob some years before Mr. Brown died, he was troubled with a weakness in his stomach. In the months of January and February, this weakness remarkably increased. His friends observed it with grief, and accordingly desired him to desist at least from part of his public work. Eager to warn sinners of their danger, and fond to commend his Lord, he told them, u I am determined to hold to Christ’s work so long as I can. How can a dying man spend his last breath better than in preaching Christ?” On the 25th of February, which was his last Sabbath in the pulpit, he preached from Luke ii. 26, u It was revealed unto him by the Holy Ghost, that he should not see death till he had seen the Lord’s Christ.” In the close of his sermon, he took a solemn farewell of his own congregation; and plainly intimated, that in the pulpit they would see his face no more. Though now he was scarce able to support himself, yet he continued his evening sermon, and seemed to preach with more earnestness than ever. He preached his last sermon from Acts xiii. 26, “To you is the word of this salvation sent.”

As in the afternoon he had addressed the people immediately connected with himself, in the evening he, in a very affecting manner, bid adieu to his hearers, mostly members of the Established Church.

March 2. A friend observing that he ought to be more careful in the use of means for his recovery, he replied, “If Christ be magnified, whether in my life or death, that is the great matter.”

March 3. One happening to talk in his presence about reading history, he remarked,” Often we read history as atheists or deists, rather than as Christians.

“To read of events without observing the hand of God in them, is to read as atheists: to read, and not observe how all events conduce to carry on the work of redemption, is to read as deists.” In the evening, his spirits being apparently sunk, and his relations taking notice of it, he told them, 44 A piece of history sometimes hath amused me, when my natural spirits were low, but now I find no pleasure except in meditating on the promises: I wish to begin with that in Genesis, ‘The seed of the woman shall bruise the head of the serpent,’ and to delight myself with it, and all the rest that follow, to the end of the Revelation of John.”

March 4. An acquaintance saying to him, that it was pleasant to see the great Mr. Hervey insisting so much on grace reigning through righteousness. u Yes,” replied he, “that is the doctrine which is good to live with, and good to die with.”

This being Sabbath he went out to hear a sermon.

After he returned to his house, he cried, u Oh, what a happy life a Christian might have, if he were always persuaded of the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord! If there were such a thing as exchange of learning, I should willingly quit with all my acquaintance with languages, &c., to know experimentally what that meaneth, ‘I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.’”

In the evening, being asked if he thought himself better; he answered, with a great deal of composure, 44 I am no worse, but I do not wish to have a will in that matter, — only I would not desire to live, and yet not be able for Christ’s work, though perhaps, were God so ordering it, he would enable me to bear that too.”

March 6. He called his two eldest sons into his room; and, as they were about to leave him for a time, he exhorted them, in the most earnest manner, to trust in the Lord, and to be doing good. 44 No doubt,” said he, 44 I have met with trials as well as others; yet so kind hath God been to me, that I think, if God were to give me as many years as I have already lived in the world, I would not desire one single circumstance in my lot changed, — except that I wish I had had less sin.”

March 20. He became much weaker than he was before. His memory was much impaired, but his

judgment continued as entire as ever. He conversed like a man that quite overlooked earthly things, and seemed to have his affections almost wholly set on things above. Some of his expressions were as follow: —

66 I have often wondered at the favour which men have showed to me, but much more at the favour of God to such a grevious sinner.

44 Oh, to be with God, to see him as he is, — to know him even as he is known; it is worthy, not merely of going for, but of dying for, to see a smiling God!

44 About the year, God said to my soul, I

have loved thee with an everlasting love; and oh, how faithful he hath been to that since!

44 There would not have been more grace shown in the redemption of the chief of devils, than in saving me; the same price would have ransomed them, — the same strivings would have overcome them.

44 Men may talk of the sovereignty of redeeming love as they will; but had it not been sovereign, infinitely sovereign, I had been as surely damned, as if I were in hell already.

44 Were it not that God foresaw our sins and provocations from eternity, he never could have continued his love to me, the grevious sinner, — the arrant rebel: yet I think he is now preparing me for being ever with himself. Oh, what is that! — I have done all that lies in my power to damn myself; and, though I will not say, that God hath done all that he could to save me, yet I am sure he hath done a great deal,

44 If angels and men knew the raging enmity of my heart, what would they think of redeeming love, which hath pitched on me!

44 O, what a miracle to see me, the arrant rebel, sitting on the throne with Jesus! and I hope I shall be seen there. What cannot Jesus do!

44 O, how these words, 4 He loved me, and gave himself for me,’ once penetrated into my heart, and made me cry, 4 Bless the Lord, O my soul, and let all that is within me, be stirred up to bless his holy name.’”

A friend asking him if he had any appetite for his supper, he replied, 44 Yes; Oh, if I had but as good an appetite for the fulness of God, as I have for earthly victuals!”

One observing to him, that under all his weakness, his mind seemed to be very composed; he answered, 44 Indeed I am composed; God hath put a bridle in my mouth; and though I have been a most perverse wretch, yet he hath strangely restrained me: and, Oh, how amazing! he hath done this chiefly by loving -kindnesses and tender mercies; and is not that a strange bridle for such an imp of hell as I have been?

44 I cannot say that I have found God’s words and eaten them; but truly his words have found me, and have been given to me, and have been to me the joy and rejoicing of my heart.

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44 Oh that is a sweet little sentence, 4 We shall be for ever with the Lord!’ Oh, how sweet! for ever with the Lord! And that which makes the wonder is this, that it is we that are to enjoy this happiness; we, pitiful wretches, are to be for ever with God our Saviour, God in our nature!

44 How amazing the mystery of redemption, in which the rich deservants of hell are exalted to the throne of God, and that by the blood of our Lord Jesus Christ!

“Oh, to be brought to this point,

‘Then will I to God’s altar go,

To God my chiefest joy:
Yea, God, my God, thy name to praise

My harp I will employ.’ — Psalm xliii. 4.

“I desire to depart and to be with Christ, which is far better: and though I have lived sixty years very comfortably in this world, yet I would gladly turn my back on you all, to be with Christ. I am sure Christ may say of me, 4 These sixty years this wretch hath grieved me.”’

March 21. In the preceding evening when he fell asleep, he seemingly left his heart with Christ; and, if we might guess his meditation by his words, this morning when he awaked, he was still with him: among the first words which he spoke were these; 44 Oh, it is pleasant to enjoy fellowship with Christ! Any small acquaintance I have had of him convinceth me of this. And oh, how much more pleasure might I have had, had it not been for my own folly and wickedness!

44 I think now that I could willingly die to see him, who is white and ruddy, the chief among ten thousand.”

When at breakfast, he expressed himself thus: — 44 How amazing that a rich deservant of hell should get such a meal! how much more that a rich deservant of hell should get a Christ!”

Addressing himself to his two sons in the ministry, he said, with peculiar earnestness, 44 O labour, labour for Christ while ye have strength; I now repent that I have been so lazy and so slothful in his service. O commend Jesus! I have been looking at him for these many years, and never yet could find a fault in him, but what was of my own making; though he hath seen ten thousand thousand faults in me, Many a comely person I have seen, but none so comely as Christ; many a kind friend I have had, but none like Christ in loving-kindnessess and tender mercies.”

Some short time after, he said unto them, 44 I know not whether ever I shall see you together again or not; but, O labour, labour to win souls to Christ; there is none like Christ! there is none like Christ! there is none like Christ! I am sure a poor, worthless wretch he hath had of me; but a precious, superlatively precious Christ I have had of him. Never grudge either purse or person for Christ: I can say this, that I never was a loser by any time spent, or by any money given, for him.

“Oh, the pains which God has been at to save me, and the pains I have been at to destroy myself! but he hath partly gained, and I hope that he will completely gain, the victory.”

After taking a ride in a chaise, when he came into his house he observed, 44 Reading tires me, walking tires me, riding tires me; but, were I once with Jesus, fellowship with him will never tire me: 4 so shall we be ever with the Lord!’”

In the afternoon he lay down on his bed; and being asked, after he awaked, how he was, he replied, 44 I am no worse; I am just a monument of mercy, and that is a great deal for such a sinner, especially when I add, that I am hoping for redemption through Christ’s blood, even the forgiveness of my sins, according to the riches of his grace.

44 If doubting, disputing, and trampling on his kindness, could have made him change his love, it had never been continued towards me. Though I have not been left to commit gross crimes, yet He and I know the outrageous wickedness of my heart; — such wickedness as would have provoked any, but a God of infinite love, to have cast me into hell: yet, lo, instead of casting me there, he taketh me into his bosom and tells me, 4 1 have loved thee with an everlasting love, and with loving -kindness have I drawn thee. I will heal their bacJtslidings, and I will love them freely/

44 Oh, how the Lord hath borne and carried me! He hath indeed given me my stripes, but never except when I richly deserved them. 4 Oh, that men would praise the Lord for his goodness, and for his wonderful works towards the children of men.’

u I was young when left by my parents; yet their instructions, accompanied with God’s dealings, made such impressions on my heart, as I hope will continue with me to all eternity. I have served many masters, but none so kind as Christ; I have dealt with many honest men, but no creditor like Christ; had I ten thousand hearts, they should all be given to Christ; and had I ten thousand bodies, they should all be employed in labouring for his honour.”

Seeing two or three persons of his acquaintance sitting round him, he said, u Now, sirs, I have sinned longer, and in more aggravated forms, than any of you; but what sins cannot the blood of Christ wash out — what cannot mercy forgive? 4 The Lord passed by and proclaimed his name; the Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and in truth.’ Oh, how astonishing, that the Spirit of God should enter into our vile hearts, contrary to our strivings! Even so it seemeth good in his sight. Let praise flow, for ever flow!”

March 22. He had no sooner sat down to breakfast, than, like a man enraptured with the views of glory, he gave vent to his heart, in the mention of the following lines: —

“They with the fatness of thy house

Shall be well satisfied:
From rivers of thy pleasure thou

Wilt drin% to them provide.” — Psalm xxxv. 8.

He repeated these lines thrice, changing the words they and them into we and us, after which he added, u Oh, how strange, that rivers of pleasure should be provided for the murderers of God’s Son, and the contemners of his word!”

One of his sons alledging to him, that he seemed to be quite indifferent about things here; he replied, “Indeed I am so; only I would wish you my sons, my friends, my congregation, the church, and all the world, so far as is consistent with the decree of God, were with Christ; — from all other things my mind is weaned: yet if the influence of God’s Spirit were to be withdrawn for a moment, O how horribly my heart would blaspheme!”

To one of his hearers, whose father was an eminent Christian, he tendered the following advice,” Well — mind these words, 4 Thou art my God; I will prepare thee an habitation; my father’s God; I will exalt thee.’ W e should reckon him a madman that would throw away a father’s estate, but he is much more foolish who throws away a father’s God*

Being told that the day wxas cold, and therefore his taking a ride would perhaps hurt him; he said,” O to win to the everlasting day of fellowship with Christ! — then shall we reflect with pleasure on all our cold and sorrowful days here.

66 For a poor man, a dying man, a man that hath much to do, there is no friend like Christ.”

Washing his face in the water, he said, “O to be washed in the water of life!” One remarking that he looked better than he did; 44 It may be,” replied he; however, when I am conformed to the image of Christ, I shall look far better still.” This last he uttered with a pleasant smile.

Stepping into the chaise to take his ride, and finding his inability to do it himself without assistance, he desired his friends to look and see the propriety of that advice, 44 Let not the wise man glory in his wisdom; neither let the mighty man glory in his might; let not the rich man glory in his riches; but let him that glorieth, glory in this, that he understandeth and knoweth me, that I am the Lord which exerciseth loving-kindness, judgment, and righteousness in the earth.”

Upon his return from his ride, being asked how he was; he answered, 44 W ell, well for such a sinner!”

To another, who inquired if he felt himself any easier; he replied, 44 I cannot say that I am, but I am just as well as my heart could wish, if I were but free of sin.”

When a third acquaintance proposed a similar question; he observed, 44 I am well; for it is with both body and soul as it pleaseth God; and what pleaseth him as a new covenant God, I desire to say, pleaseth me too.” Reading to him a saying of Dr. Evans’, showing his resignation to the rod; 44 Well,” said he, 44 that is just what I would have been at too: Oh, what kindness God has heaped upon me since

the year! what kind strugglings! what kind

smilings! what kind overlookings of my outrageous

wickedness! but he hath showed himself to be God, and not man in his dealings with me.

u In my mad attempts he hath often stopped me; my mad wishes he hath refused to grant; and my mad words he hath often seemed to overlook.”

Being asked if he remembered of his preaching on this text, Psalm lxxiii. 22 — 44 So foolish was I and ignorant, and as a beast before thee:” he replied, 44 Yes, I remember it very well; and I remember too, that when I described the beast, I drew the picture from my own heart. But oh, amazing consideration! 4 Nevertheless, I am continually with God, and he holdeth me by my right hand!”’

When the evening was come, and a friend proposed that his clothes should be taken off; he said, 44 Very well, — I would not wish to be a man of strife, on the borders of eternity; and especially when I am as sure that the redeeming God is mine own, as that there is an eternity.”

March 23. Conversing with him about a sermon which he once preached on these words, Isa. xlvi. 4, 44 Even to your old age I am he,” he observed, that he remembered discoursing on this text; and then added, with a sort of cheerfulness, 44 I must say, that I never yet found God to break his word in this; no, notwithstanding all the provocations which I have given him.”

Walking in the grass park, which is contiguous to his house, and finding that he was scarce able to move forward, by reason of a boisterous wind, he said to a relation who attended him, u I find that I am but weak, — but,

“Soon may the storms of trouble beat

The house of bondage down,

And let the prisoner fly.” — Watts.

When he had taken his rest in the afternoon, he awakened with these words, u Oh, what a wonder that I have not slept into eternal life! rather, oh, what a wonder if I should thus sweetly sleep into eternal life! Oh, what is this!”

Having sat down to tea, he seemed to be so much under the constraining influence of the Holy Ghost, that he could not forbear making mention of the mercies of the Lord; — u Oh,” cried he, 44 God is love, there is no enmity in him at all! Again, there are three things which are very sweet; — the sovereignty, the freeness, and the fulness of grace.” In a short time after, he broke out in the following expressions, 44 Oh, wonderful, wonderful subject — grace! Oh, wonderful, worderful means, by which it vents — the righteousness of Christ! and wonderful, wonderful issue — eternal life /”

An acquaintance asking him if he really wished to be strong; he replied, 14 I rather wonder that I have so much health and strength as I have: many of my fellow sinners, and many less sinners than I, are now roaring in the place of torment, without any hopes of deliverance, while my body is easy, and my heart is, in some measure, filled with his praise. The strength o

which I wish now, is strength to walk up and down in the name of the Lord.”

March 24. At breakfast, seeing his friends sitting around, he said, 44 Oh, sirs! when shall I take the last Christian meal with you? I am not weary of your company, nor have I any cause; but I would fain be at that, 4 I will go to God’s altar, even unto God my exceeding joy.’”

One of his little children coming to inquire for his welfare, he desired her to come near; and, putting his hand upon her head, he spake to her in the following manner: — 44 Now, my little dear, oh, mind to pray unto God: — your father must soon leave you; but cry unto Jesus — 4 Thou art my father, and the guide of my youth — and then, though you will not have a room like this to come and see your father in, you will be taken to a far better Father’s room.”

Being told that his eldest son was gone home, he took occasion to remark, how happy he should be, if the time of his departure into the eternal world were arrived. 44 Oh,” said he, 44 that I were ready for

going home too? About the year., these words

were sweet to my soul — 4 There remaineth a rest for the people of God.’” 44 Are you not willing, sir,” said one, 44 to live, and preach Christ?” He answered, 44 I would love to preach Christ, if I live; but, as to my life, I have no will in that natter; I wish to have my inclinations subordinate to the will of God.”

A friend observing, that the gospel was said to be spreading in the Established Church of England — u Ob,” said he,” well, well may it spread: the gospel is the source of my comfort, and every sinner is as welcome to this source as I. And, oh, how pleasant, that neither great sins, nor great troubles, do alter these consolations! These words were once sweetiy impressed upon my heart, 6 Where sin abounded, grace did much more abound.’ Oh, how it delighted me, to see God taking the advantage of my great sinfulness, to show his great grace!

44 Oh, the sovereignty of God! I think that he hath used more means to bring down the enmity and rebellion of my heart, than he hath used for a hundred beside.”

Receiving a glass of wine, he observed, 44 How astonishing that God’s Son should get gall and vinegar to drink, when his thirst was great; and yet that I should have such wine, when my thirst is by no means excessive!” Afterwards, on a similar occasion, he expressed himself to this purpose, 44 I long to drink of the new wine in my Father’s kingdom, which will neither hurt head nor heart. Oh, that I had all the world around me, that I might tell them of Christ!”

A friend reminding him, that through his instrumentality, as a teacher of divinity, about sixty or seventy ministers were engaged in preaching Christ: he replied, 44 Had I ten thousand tongues, and ten thousand hearts, and were I employing them all in commendation of Christ, I could not do for his honour as he hath deserved, considering his kindness to such a sinner.”

When at tea, he gave vent to his grateful heart in the following words:” I am much obliged to you all, and particularly to you, (addressing his wife,) for your kindness to me; yet I must go back to this, 4 Whom have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee.’

44 4 He hateth putting away:’ I am sure I have found that; for, oh, the provocations which I have given to God to cast me off; and yet, to this day, he crowneth me with loving-kindnesses! How astonishing the necessity of the love of the Son of God! Once I thought that I got a ravishing sight of the necessity of his loving me, the sinner; he said, 4 Other sheep I have; them I must bring.’

44 Oh, his kindness, his kindness! I have shared of his frowns, as well as of his smiles; — little frowns in comparison of what I deserved! — yet when I even abused those frowns, as well as his smiles, he hath often overcome me with tender mercies.”

To some, who asked him if he was any worse, he made this reply: 44 I am weak, but I am well, considering that I am such a sinner. I may say, 4 Goodness and mercy have followed me all the days of my life;’ and I hope to 4 dwell in the house of God for ever.’”

Speaking to him about his supper, he cried out, 44 Oh, to be there, where they 4 hunger no more, nor thirst any more; but are filled with the fatness of God’s house!’”

One of his younger children he exhorted in this form: — u Now, cry to God, Thou art my Father: I do not think that I was much older than you, when God caused me to claim him; and, oh, God hath been good to me! It is long since he said, 4 Leave thy fatherless children upon me, and I will preserve them alive; and let thy widows trust in me.’ As I know not but I am dying of this distress, I have essayed to cast you on the Lord; see that you cast yourself on him.”

March 25. 44 Long ago, I thought to have known by experience what is meant by 4 dying in the Lord that is a lesson, however, which I have not yet learned, but I will not quit hopes of learning it still.

44 Were it not that the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin, damnation would be my lot; but, 4 in him I have redemption through his blood, according to the riches of his grace.’ And if Christ be glorified to the highest, and I ashamed to the lowest, I am content.

44 These words were once sweet to my soul, 4 I am less than the least of his mercies.’ I then thought that I was not worthy of the smallest favour, yet I aimed to apprehend the greatest gift. Oh, amazing scheme, redemption! Amazing contrivance of it by God the Father! amazing work of the Son purchasing it! amazing application of it by the Holy Ghost! and amazing possession of it by men!

44 It is now many years since God put me into the state, that I could not totally apostatize from him: o 2*

though no thanks to me, for I have done my utmost against him, and yet he hath held me: I know not if there ever was a sinner, such a perverse wretch as I.”

One asking him, if he remembered who it was that said on his death-bed, That God had fulfilled all the promises in the 91st psalm to him but the last, u His eyes shall see my salvation,” and now he was going to receive the accomplishment of that? he said, u No;” and added, raising his voice, 44 But I know a man to wThom almost all the lines of that psalm have been sweet: I think, if ever God touched my heart, he went through that psalm with me.”

March 26. Being asked how he had slept, he replied in his common style, 44 Good rest for such a sinner.” Said the friend, 44 You know that he giveth his beloved sleep.” 44 It is true,” replied he, 44 but sure God hath no cause to love me.

4i Long ago, Jehovah silenced me with this, 4 Is there any thing too hard for the Lord?’ and to this day I have never found out the thing, though perhaps 1 have resisted his Spirit more than ever a sinner did.

44 I wish to be at that point, 4 He hath put to me the everlasting covenant, ordered in all things and sure;’ for this is all my salvation, and all my desire.”

Expressing his resignation in this manner, 44 1 am entirely at the Lord’s will;” an acquaintance remarked to him, that 44 such resignation was not the attainment of every Christian;” he answered, 44 This is rather what I would he at, than what I have attained.”

Happening to speak about the students of divinity who had been under his charge; he said, “I wish them all more serious and diligent than ever I have been; I hope, however, that God will not cast me off as a slothful and wicked servant: I am sure that he hateth putting away.”

A friend observing, that u It is an unspeakable mercy, that God does not deal with us according to our works;” he replied, u Ah, if God were to deal with men that way, (I will not except the apostle Paul,) the hottest place in hell would be the lot of us ministers!

“I think the early death of my father and mother, the death of a wife, and of children, in a remarkable manner, wrought for my good. I could not but notice, that when God took away these, he always supplied their room with himself. May he deal thus with you when I die!

Ck My mind is now so wavering, that I have little remembrance of what is past, little apprehension of what is present, and little foresight of what is future: but, oh, what a mercy, that when once the everlasting arms of Jesus are underneath, he will not lose his grip. 1 Israel shall be saved in the Lord with an everlasting salvation.’

ct Here is a wonder, — a sinner saved by the blood of God’s Son! There are wonders in heaven, and wonders in the earth; but the least part of redemption-work is more wonderful than them all.”

March 27. When some of his relations expressed their wishes for his recovery; — 44 I wish,” said he, 44 that God may do what is most for his glory, and for the good of my soul. Were it left to me, whether I would choose life or death, I would not turn a straw for either, but would refer it wholly to God himself. All my days I have been rebelling against, and vexing, his Holy Spirit; yet, I may say, this has been the sum of his conduct toward me, — 4 He wrought for his name’s sake, that it should not be polluted.’

“Oh, how God hath exemplified that law in his conduct toward me: 1 If thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him to drink and in so doing I hope he hath heaped hot, melting coals of fire upon my head.”

One of his brethren in the ministry coming in to see him, he addressed him to this purpose: — 44 Now, I am obliged to you for your kindness; but, oh, entreat Christ to pay me a visit: I do you no wrong when I say, that I would not give half an hour’s visit of Christ, for days, or months, or years, of yours.

44 Any thing that I know about religion is this, That I have found weakness and wickedness about myself; and grace, mercy, and loveliness, about Jesus.”

When a friend observed to him, that we must run deeper and deeper in grace’s debt; he replied, 44 Oh, yes; and God is a good creditor; he never seeks back the principal sum, and indeed puts up with a poor annual rent.”

A number of his acquaintances sitting round him while he dined, he broke out with these words: 44 Well, sirs, may we at last all meet at the table above, and enjoy a feast there: — no pain, no complaining, no trouble there; but there is everlasting joy and peace.

44 Oh, how strangely Christ hath stuck to me! perhaps not one in hell ever gave more opposition; his cords of love, which he threw about me, I cast away; the words which he spake to me 1 contemned; yet 1 think he hath made me to yield.

u I never deserved another word but this, 4 Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire but Christ hath spoken far other words to me; and, oh, how enlightening, melting, and healing, their influence hath been!

“What a mercy that God himself enableth us to believe; for that unbelief of our hearts would call all the promises rank lies, if God did not stop its mouth.”

Asking if this was Saturday, he was told, No, it was Tuesday, and that he seemed to long for the Sabbath: 44 1 do,” replied he, 44 weary for the Sabbath; and I would fain be at wearying for the everlasting Sabbath; then shall I have no need of the assistance of preachers; nor will I even need the blessed bible itself: God’s face will serve me for preachers and bible too.”

March 28. u Oh, that is a strange text, 1 God so loved the world, that he gave his only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him might not perish, but have everlasting life.’ This declaration would set our hearts all on fire, if they were not infernally frozen; and, indeed, closely applied by the Holy Ghost, it would set them on fire, even though infernally frozen. He once applied it with such power to my soul, that I think the application would have inflamed the heart of a devil, had it been so spoken to him.”

To his sons in the ministry, he repeated the exhortations which he gave them before. “Oh, labour, labour to win souls to Christ; I will say this for your encouragement, that when the Lord led me out to be most earnest in this way, he poured in most comfort into my own heart; so that he gave me my reward in my bosom: and when I have tried to help vacancies, the Lord hath repaid me well with glimpses of his glory. Were the Lord to make me young again, I think that I should study to devise other means for the gaining of souls than those which I have used, and to prosecute them with more activity than ever I did.”

To an acquaintance that inquired about his welfare, he gave this account:” I am but weak; but it is delightful to find one’s self weak in everlasting arms: oh, how much do I owe my Lord!

“What a mercy, that, once within the covenant, there is no getting out of it again: now I find my faculties much impaired.” His relations answering, that it was only his memory which seemed to be affected with his distress: 44 Well,” said he, 44 oh, how marvellous that God hath continued my judgment, considering how much I have abused it; and continued my hope of eternal life, though I have misimproved it! ‘But where sin hath reigned unto death, grace hath reigned through righteousness, unto eternal life, by Christ Jesus our Lord.’

44 My memory is much failed; but, were death once over, I will remember God’s heaping of mercies, and my multiplied provocations; and when I view the first on one side, and the last on the other, on a new-covenant footing, I will sing thanksgivings to God for ever.”

Speaking about sermons, he remarked, u So far as ever I observed God’s dealings with my soul, the flights of preachers sometimes entertained me; but it was scripture expressions which did penetrate my heart, and that in a way peculiar to themselves.”

To one who alleged, That if he were not happy afterwards, many had reason to be afraid, he gave a reply to the following purpose: — 44 I have no other ground to be happy than what is by redemption through the blood of Christ, and that is suited to you as well as to me.”

Expressing his resignation to the will of God, one of his relations observed, that he seemed to sway to one side, and his friends to another: 44 I own,” said he, 44 that I do sway to one side, for I desire to de-LIFE AND REMAINS OF

part, and to be with Jesus, which is far better, and you selfishly wish me to live with you.” The relation answering, that he hoped it was not wholly selfishness with them, — perhaps it was for the good of the church, that they desired his life prolonged; he replied, 44 Indeed it may be selfishness with us both; I confess it may be selfishness in me, to wish to be with Christ; but oh, that God had never seen any other selfishness in me than that!

44 Oh, what must Christ be in himself, when he sweetens heaven, sweetens scriptures, sweetens ordinances, sweetens earth, and even sweetens trials! Oh, what must that Christ be in himself!

44 Oh, to have all our troubles sanctified to us! and then, when in the eternal world, we will, with pleasure, look back and see, that through fire and water he brought us to the wealthy place.”

One of his children saying to him, 44 Father, we would fain have you to live;” he answered, 44 Well, I believe so, but I would fain be with Christ.” 44 But would you not wish to take us with you?” said the other. He replied, 44 It is not I, but Christ, who must do that; — however, as to my departure, I will not set the time of it to God; he is wise, and I am a fool.” Being told that he had done much good to souls since the year 1764, when he said he wished to be gone; he observed, 44 Oh, how strange, that God should make use of one so sinful as I to do good to others! But I believe that he was wiser than me; and I shall see this more clearly when in the eternal state.” Reading to him Mr. Erskine’s poem which is called The Work and Contention of Heaven, he remarked, 44 Well, though I should never wish to see contention in the church on earth, yet I should be willing to join in Ralph’s contention above. W ere I once in heaven, I think that I would contend with the best of them; and I know that our contentions there will not raise heats, but excite love to one another.” When he received a glass of wine, he, with a smile, addressed his friends, — 44 Now, sirs, I wish you all new wine in the kingdom of the Father at last, and new wine from the kingdom of the Father, while you are on the way to it.”

At supper, with his usual cheerfulness, he mentioned these lines: —

“They with the fatness of thy house
Shall be well satisfied,” &c.

and then added, 44 If earth transformed, partly by the instrumentality of men, is so delicious, oh, what must the fatness of God’s house be, the flesh and blood of the Son of God!”

March 29. Among the first words which he uttered were these; 44 Oh, what a rebellious child I have been to God! and oh, what a kind Father he hath been to me! I need not go farther than myself, to see that 44 God is love;” for ever in my trouble he treats me as a mother doth her only sucking child.”

A friend happening to say, 44 I suppose you make p

not your labours for the good of the church, the ground of your comfort;” he, with a sort of uncommon earnestness, replied,” No, no, no! it is the

FINISHED RIGHTEOUSNESS OF CHRIST which is the

only foundation of my hope: I have no more dependance on my labours than on my sins. I rather reckon it a wonder of mercy that God took any of my labours off my hand: 4 Righteousness belongeth unto him, but unto me shame and confusion of face.’ If the Lord were to render unto me according to my works, the hottest place in hell would be my reward; yet, by Christ’s works, eternal life to the most worthless wretch, is but a suitable recompense.”

Taking a walk through the house, as he stepped along, he cheerfully repeated these lines in the eighty-ninth Psalm

“In brightness of thy face, O Lord,

They ever on shall go;
They in thy name shall all the day

Rejoice exceedingly;
And in thy righteousness shall they

Exalted be on high.”

“Oh that will be sweet, when the redeemed of the Lord shall walk thus in heaven,” said he; and then added, with tears in his eyes, u And I am sure, that I may think shame to appear among them; but the more shame and disgrace I deserve, the more glory God will get. Oh, what strange things God hath done to save me! By afflictions on my own body, by the deaths of my parents, by bringing me to ordinances, by reproofs of conscience, he hath striven with me for my salvation.” Walking out to the grass park, and happening to speak about the

A r meeting house, which is at a small distance

from it, he could not forbear showing his zeal for the good of souls. 41 I would be happy,” said he,

“if my A r brother had ten for my one, as

crowns of joy at the last day; though I must say, that I would wish to have as many as possible; but, oh, it will be a strange honour for such a wretch as I, to have half a dozen.”

March 30. To one who inquired about his welfare, he said, “I sit here an instance of human frailty; and, I would fain add, an amazing instance of God’s kindness in redemption.” Some persons speaking about an ill bargain in his hearing, he took occasion to remark, “Oh, how happy to have an interest in Christ! that is a bargain which will never break; and by that, we, though naturally heirs of hell, are entitled unto eternal life.” Often he cried out, u I find that I am not strong; but, oh, it is a wonder that I am not damned! — I bless God, that at least I know thus much about religion — I am convinced that I am as a beast before God.”

March 31. “I remember that about the year

, I was breathing out slaughter against the Lord

Jesus; but that was always the turn of the tale, 1 Yet I obtained mercy.’ If I were offered the crown of Britain, instead of the fellowship with Christ, which I then enjoyed, I would not hesitate a moment about choosing the latter.

“Oh, the debt of grace is a strange kind of debt! Were I, even now, two or three hundred pounds in debt to any man, it would considerably distress me; but the views of my debt to free grace, remarkably refresh my heart.”

April 1. “Were I once in heaven, a look of Christ will cure my broken memory, and all my other weaknesses. There I shall not need wine, nor spirits, to recruit me; no, nor shall I mind them, but as Christ was through them kind to me.”

Seeing the fire stirred, he said, “Oh, to have my heart stirred, and set in an eternal flame of love to that dear Son of God, of whom I think I can say, 4 he loved me, and gave himself for me;’ and I am sure, in point of worthlessness, he might as well have loved Beelzebub himself.”

April 3. Sitting down in the park, and the sun shining bright upon his face, he cried out in a kind of transport, 44 Oh, how pleasant to be for ever beholding the Sun of Righteousness in heaven, and howT pleasant, even in time, to see him by faith!”

One of his brethren in the ministry paying him a visit, and saying, among other things, 44 Sir, we could not well want you.” He replied, 44 Oh, yes, you could easily want me, and I would wish to be with Jesus; meantime I am wholly at the Lord’s disposal. If the Lord would make me useful in the church, I have no objections against living; but if not, I would rather die.” Upon his friend observing that the Lord seemed to be very kind to him; he said, u Yes, God hath been heaping favours upon the sinner these forty years past; and I will say, to his honour, that he hath made my days of affliction always the happiest; indeed, I think that I have seldom had very sweet days, except when I have met with affliction one wray or other.” Being asked by his brother, If he felt no uneasiness at leaving his family and congregation; he answered, u I cannot say that I feel any such uneasiness; not but that I regard them; but I know that a God in Christ can infinitely more than supply my room. I might be spared, and be of little use to them; but God will be infinitely useful. My parents were taken from me when I wras young, and God hath been far better to me since, than they could have been.” “What think you,” said the friend, “of the present state of the church?” He replied, 4t The church at present is in a very poor condition, but the Lord can revive her. I have often found, that when wicked lusts and wicked devils, have caused great disorder in my heart, the Lord hath brought order out of confusion. This partly encourages me to believe, that though wicked men and wicked devils cause disorder in the church, yet the Lord will make all things to work together for good, to his own elect. I do not expect to see it; yet it is the joy of my heart, that the time is coming, when the kingdoms of this world shall become the kingdoms of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ: — dead churches shall yet be quickened; apostate churches shall yet be recovered; p 2

and churches shall be planted where there were none

before.”

April 4. Finding himself very feeble, he observed, “My legs are of little use, my head is of little use, and my hands are of little use; but my God in Christ is the same to me now as ever.”

Speaking about the synod, which was to meet in the month of May, he said that he believed he should not be able to attend; and then added, 11 Oh, if the Spirit of God would bring me to the general synod of the church of the first-born, that would be far better; — no idle words, no angry speeches, no sinful ignorance, no haughty pride there! After all, it is a mercy that Jesus, the great Manager of the church, can overrule even our contentions here for his own glory.”

April 5. When he took his walk in the park, he pointed to several spots, where he said, that his soul had been ravished with the views of free grace: M Yea,” said he, “on certain occasions, my soul has been so transported there, that, as the apostle speaks, 4 whether I was in the body or out of the body, I could scarce tell;” and perhaps it is superstitious in me, but I confess that I have a peculiar love to these very spots.”

After he came into his house, and found himself tired with his walk, he expressed the wish of his heart in these words; “Oh, that will be a pleasant journey, 4 The ransomed of the Lord shall return, and come to Zion with songs, and everlasting joy upon their heads; they shall obtain joy and gladness, and sorrow and sighing shall flee away.’”

Talking about mercy, he observed, 44 I could wish to live and die a deep, deep debtor to mercy; and that none of my works should ever be mentioned, but as manifestations of mercy, in enabling such a sinner to do any thing for the honour of the God of mercy, and for promoting the work of mercy in the welfare of others.”

To an acquaintance, who came to ask for his welfare, he spake in the following manner: — u Well, you see I am a prisoner here in my own house; but, oh, that is a happy (I do not choose to call it an imprisonment, but a) sort of confinement, in a Redeemer’s arms, and in the covenant of grace.”

April 6. 44 How true is that saving, 4 Man in his best state is altogether vanity!’ I am not one of the oldest, yet I find myself exceedingly feeble; — however, although I am weak, I have reason to be thankful I am not damned.

44 Oh, the sovereignty of God in permitting some, both of angels and of men, to fall into misery; while it secures the happiness of the rest to all eternity!”

As an evidence of the tenderness of his conscience, he frequently gave this hint to his consort: — 44 1 hope you will take care, when I am speaking to any acquaintance, that I do not say any thing trifling to them: it is not my honour that I mind in this, but I should be vexed, now that I am a dying man, if I should say any thing to the dishonour of Christ, to

the grief of the godly, or to be a stumbling-block to the wicked: indeed it would be ill on my part to act thus.”

April 9. Being asked, how he was now, he replied, “I am weak; but the motto of each of my days is, 4 He hath not dealt with us as we have sinned, neither rewarded us according to our iniquities.’”

Sitting down in the park, and finding his eyes unable to bear the bright shining of the sun, he remarked, 14 Oh, how pleasant to be in that place, where they are so overcome with the glory of the Sun of Righteousness, that they have to cover their faces with their wings!”

Having occasion to converse about young men coming out to the ministry, he observed, “Well, though pride prevails much in my heart, yet I think, I would trample it thus far under my feet, as that I would be glad to see all my students, and not only they, but all the faithful ministers of Jesus, bringing hundreds or thousands of souls with them into heaven, though I should have but five or six.”

Taking him into his meeting-house, he looked round him, and said, u Now, weak as I am, I would try to preach yet, if I had none to preach in my stead. Oh, what sweet fellowship with Christ I have had here! and that pulpit hath been the best place in all the house to me.”

A young surgeon paying him a visit, he thought it proper to tender some advices to him; among other things, he observed, that persons in this profession had excellent opportunities of conversing with dying sinners about their eternal state; that their patients would probably pay more attention to religious hints from them, than from some others; — that while they gave cures to others, they should never forget to apply to Christ for spiritual healing themselves. As he was evidently turning hoarse with speaking, one of his relations reminded him, that he was exhausting himself, and begged him to forbear for a little. He made this reply — 44 Well, I shall say no more even now; but, oh, to be at that, —

4 My mouth the praises of the Lord

To publish cease shall never;
Let all flesh bless his holy name

For ever and for ever.’” — Psalm cxlv. 21.

May 6. Lying on his back in the bed, and being exceedingly faint, he observed, with a low tone of voice, 44 Here is a lecture on that text, 4 Vanity of vanities; all that cometh is vanity and vexation of spirit;’ for what a poor useless creature am I now! But, oh, what a mercy that Christ can raise glory to himself out of mere vanity!” In uttering these last words his heart seemed to be quite overcome.

When a friend alleged to him, that he appeared to be sunk in his spirits; he replied, 44 1 am so; but it is not in the least through any terror, but just through weakness.”

Being asked if he was not afraid to enter into a world of spirits, he answered, 44 No, a persuasion

that Christ is mine, makes me think, that when I appear in that world, as a new incomer, all the spirits there wTiil use me well on Christ’s account.”

It being remarked by an acquaintance, that considering him as a dying man, he seemed to be as easy as he well could be; “Yes,” said he, “I really am so; for in my body I am not much pained, and as to my mind, it is composed, or rather cheerful: I mean not that I have what the world calls mirth, but I possess a sort of cheerfulness which ariseth from views of certain texts of scripture.”

May 7. 44 As I have had fulness all my days, I believe that I could not now easily bear with pinching want; yet I think to publish the gospel of Jesus, I could willingly meet with want or any thing else.”

Riding in a chaise, and observing how pleasantly the corn and the grass were growing, he cried out, “Oh, I think that I should love to see that promise accomplished, ‘The wilderness, and the solitary place, shall be glad for them; and the desert shall rejoice and blossom as the rose; it shall blossom abundantly, and rejoice even with joy and singing. The glory of Lebanon shall be given unto it; the excellency of Carmel and Sharon: they shall see the glory of the Lord, and the excellency of our God.’ Oh, I should love to see all this ere I die, though I would wish that it may not be long till the event take place. I should love, when I depart to heaven, to be able to tell this news to the redeemed millions, that the Holy Ghost had been remarkably poured out in East Lothian, and that there was not now a family in which the worship of God was not observed. I dare say it delights the redeemed above, to hear of Christ’s glory being displayed, and of souls being saved, on earth.”

When he observed the concern which his wife showed about his welfare, he said, 44 Now, no doubt you do not wish to hear about my departure; but thy 4 Maker is thy husband; the Lord of hosts is his name ;.’ he can infinitely more than supply the want of me.”

May 8. Passing by the door of his study, and looking into it, one observed, 44 Sir, you never go in there now;” he answered, 44 No; the closet I wish now, is the place of God’s immediate presence; there the face of God will serve me instead of all my books.”

Addressing himself to one of his sons, he said, 44 Now, I am easy, whether ever you or any of my family be what the world call rich, but I should wish you all to be fearers of God. Next to seeing Christ as he is, I think that I would desire to see you, and hundreds at your back, all debtors to free grace. Oh, I would be happy to say, 4 Lord, here am I, and the children which thou hast given me.’

44 Ever since God dealt properly with my heart, I never had any comfort in a thought that my sins were little, but in the belief that the virtue of Christ’s blood was infinite — 4 blood that cleanseth from all sin and in the consideration of God’s mercy being higher than the heavens.”

14 I once thought that text, c I will have mercy on whom I will have mercy,’ had just been made for me; and that it was so full of grace, just that it might suit ray condition. Were it possible for his majesty and I to become young again; and were it left to my choice, whether I would have his lot or my own, I would, without hesitation, choose my own; if I have not got such grand entertainment for the body, I have got feasts on texts of scripture, the like of which, perhaps, he never obtained — ‘Goodness and mercy have followed me.’”

Talking about death, he observed, “It might be written on my coffin, — 1 Here lies one of the cares of Providence, who early wanted both father and mother, and yet never missed them.’”

May 9. Speaking about submission to the rod of God, he made the following remarks: “I would not wish that foolish question ever put to me, Would you go to hell if that were the Lord’s will? for it is God’s promise securing my salvation, that has much influence in making me resigned. God said to me, ‘I am the Lord thy God;’ and if he were not to be mine for ever, he would forfeit his word, which is impossible.”

Being desired by a friend, to give an assignation of his right to his books, for the good of his family, he replied, 14 No, no; I would not wish that ever there should be the least appearance of avarice of the world in me; 1 can trust my family to Providence; and if, when I am in heaven, it appear that there was one converted by means of any thing that ever I wrote, I will mark down an hundred pounds; if there should be two, I will say, there is two hundred pounds, and if twenty, there is something of more value than two thousand pounds; — that is the reward which I wish.”

Two young ladies coming in to see him, he asked how they were: upon there answering, Very well, he said, 44 4 It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed and, oh, never say that you are very well to your own consciences, until you have good evidence of your interest in Christ. Be earnest to have acquaintance with Jesus; no connexion so glorious as union with Christ; no pleasure like that which is enjoyed in fellowship with him.”

To one who observed, that some who saw him thought that he was rather better, he replied, 44 All my wish is, that if God spare me, I may have gifts to serve him while I live; and, if I die, I wish to praise him while I have any being.”

May 10. Hearing some talk about the endorsing of a bill, he said, 44 Oh, how pleasant! the bills of God’s promises are my heritage: I have often forgotten them; but I am sure that Jehovah minds them, and I know too, that the Spirit of God will never deceive me.”

Talking concerning his weakness, he observed, 44 God deals so tenderly with me in my affliction, that indeed I think the strokes, as it were, go nearer his heart than they do mine.”

May 11. 14 The command is, 4 Owe no man any thing.’ What a mercy that there is no such precept as this, Owe a Saviour nothing; or even this, Study to owe him as little as possible.

“I confess that I would not love to stand at our town cross, with a paper on my breast, declaring that I was a bankrupt to men; but, oh, I think that I should love to stand in the most public place of heaven, having all the redeemed pointing to me as the greatest sinner that ever was saved; yea, I think their very staring at me as the chief debtor to free grace, would rejoice my heart.”

May 14. When one observed to him, that his memory seemed to be much failed, he replied, 44 It is so;” and then shutting his eyes, he, in a devout manner presented this prayer: — 44 Lord, I am a stranger on this earth, hide not thy commandments from me.” Some alleging, that he would not get out in his chair, on account of the wetness of the day; 44 W ell,’” said he, 44 if God would send his new-covenant chariot, death, and transport me to heaven ere night, I should be happy, let the day be what it will.

44 Oh, what a mercy, that my admission into eternal life, does not in the least depend on my ability for any thing; but I, as a poor sinner, will win in leaning on Christ as the Lord my righteousness; on Christ, 4 made of God unto me righteousness, sanctincation, and redemption!’ I have nothing to sink my spirits but my sins; and these need not sink me either, since the great God is my Saviour.’1 To one that inquired for his welfare, he said, 44 I am sitting here, trying to wait for the salvation of God. I should love that my departure was nearer than perhaps you would wish; — but I will not murmur.”

Taking a walk from one room to another, he, in a sort of transport, cried, “Oh, it will be pleasant to enter into Christ’s light room above! Sure, when I am there, and when I reflect on the opportunities which I enjoyed in this world, I shall wonder at myself as a fool in the misimprovement of them; but what shall I say; when Christ is the way to heaven, ‘a wayfaring man, though a fool, cannot err therein.’”

Advising a young man to honour his father and mother, and being told by a friend that the persons which he named were dead, he took occasion to make the following remark: 44 Oh, what a mercy, that you can never tell me that my friend, Jesus, is dead, when so many of my earthly acquaintances are gone; if you say of him that he was dead, I can answer, but now he 4 is alive, and lives for evermore; and hath the keys of hell and of death.’”

June 4. When he heard the bells ring, he asked what they meant; and upon being informed that it was the king’s birth-day, he said, 44 Oh, when will that glorious solemnity arrive, when all the artillery of heaven shall be let off: that day of Jesus, when angels and saints shall join in a general shout to his honour. Then fires shall be in the heavens, and fires on the earth; 4 the heavens shall pass away with a

great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat: the earth also, and the works that are therein, shall be burnt up.’”

Some time after, observing the bells continuing to ring, 44 Ob,” said he,” blessed be God that we have abetter king’s birth-day to celebrate! 4 Unto us was born, in the city of David, a Saviour, who is Christ the Lord.’ On account of that event, the gospel bells have been sounding for ages past, and they will ring louder and louder still. Oh, a Saviour! the Son of God our Saviour! Oh, his kindness! his kindness! a Saviour! a Husband to sinners, and to me r

Conversing about the manner in which the gospel call is addressed to men, he observed, “It has been my comfort these twenty years, that, not only sensible sinners, but the most stupid, are made welcome to believe in Christ,”

Throwing up his victualsl;o a great degree, as soon as he was able to speak, he said, 44 Well, I am sure that God will not kill me, till my work is done; and when that is over, I would not wish to live any longer. But, oh, to have my soul filled -with Christ’s new wine in the kingdom of heaven, I know that I would not throw up that!”

When he lay down on his bed, one asked him how he was now; he answered, “I lie here in the everlasting arms of a gracious God.” 44 Are you not afraid,” said the friend, 44 to appear at the tribunal of God?” He replied, 44 Were I looking to give the account in my own person, considering my sins, indeed I might be terrified: but then I can view Christ the Judge as my advocate and my accomptant, and I know that I do not owe more debt than he has paid.”

June 5. An acquaintance going to leave him, and saying, that probably he would soon see some of his brethren in the ministry. 44 Tell them,” said he, “that it is my desire that they may labour to win souls to Christ, for now I am not able, though ever so willing: meantime you must say, that Christ hath been a kind master to me. Many a visit he hath given to me already, and I expect to be with him in heaven by and by. Tell them too, that I desire their prayers, that, with submission to the divine will, I may depart to be with Christ, which is far better.”

Being urged to take his breakfast, 44 I will eat,” said he, 44 as much as I am able; the food is very good in itself, and it is a memorial of my spiritual provision, and I love it not the worse on that account.”

When he coughed sore, and a relation expressed his grief to see him in that distress; 44 Why not cough?” replied he, 44 oh, it would be happy, if each of these coughs and thro wings, would hasten me to God as my exceeding joy.”

One remarking to him, that his tongue seemed to be very foul; he answered, 44 It may be so, but what a mercy that it is not tormented in flames! Oh, the power of free grace, that can make a tongue, which is a world of iniquity, an everlasting praiser of Christ Q2

in heaven! But what need I say, 4 for the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked,’ and yet it is made an eternal habitation of God and the Lamb!”

When he came in from his ride, he was scarce set down, when he began expressing his admiration of the love of God; 44 Oh, the sovereignity of grace! How strange that I, a poor cottager’s son, should have a chaise to ride in; and what is far more wonderful, I think God hath often given me rides in the chariot of the new-covenant: in the former case, he hath raised me from the dunghill, and set me with great men; but in the latter, he hath exalted the man, sinful as a devil, and made him to sit with the Prince of the kings of the earth. Oh, astonishing! astonishing! astonishing!”

Being offered a little wine, he objected against taking it; 44 For,” said he, 44 I am afraid that it will hurt me, and I would not wish to hurt that head, which, as well as my heart, is Christ’s; let him do with it as he pleaseth, but I would not wish to have any hand in hurting it myself.

44 No doubt I would love to be at my public work again; and had it been any other than God that had restrained me, I would not have taken it well, but as it is the Lord, I desire to submit.

44 Were God to present me with the dukedom of Argyle, on the one hand, and the being a minister of the gospel, with the stipend which I have had, on the other, so pleasant hath the ministry been to me, notwithstanding all my weakness and fears of little success, that I would instantly prefer the last.”

To some acquaintances who came to visit him, he said, u Here, sirs, take warning that ye must die. Now, I think it is come to dying work with me; but, if Jesus hold me up, though I die, all is well: 4 Blessed are the dead who die in the Lord.’”

A minister asking him what was the best method a person could take, when a consideration of his own sinfulness terrified him in preaching? He made this reply, — 44 Attempt to believe, — just as a sinner, — as the chief of sinners. These promises have been sweetest to me which extend to men, if they are but out of hell. 4 It is a faithful saying and worthy of all acceptation, that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners, of whom I am chief.’ Once these words were sweet to my soul; I thought, ill as I was, I could not be worse than the chief of sinners: conscience said, that I was the most wicked wretch that ever breathed; and that I had showed myself to be such, especially by rebelling against convictions, and by trampling on Christ’s alluring words: yet since Christ came to save sinners, even the chief, why, thought I, should I except myself.”

When he rose to take a walk through the house, he found himself so feeble, that he was in danger of falling almost at every step; however, he comforted himself and his friends in this manner: — 44 I am now very weak; but were I in heaven, 4 I shall renew my strength; there shall I mount up with wings as

an eagle: I shall run, and not weary; I shall walk, and not faint.’ No staggerings there.”

After family worship in the evening, he observed, u Oh, it would be pleasant if our experiences in ordinances were such here, as that they would fit us for the exercises of heaven; our prayers here, as stretching forth of our desires for the enjoyment of God, and of the Lamb; and our praises here, a tuning ot our hearts for the songs above.”

June 6. One asking him this question, “Sir, does it not strike you with fear, when you think of being confined in a grave?” He answered, “No; such is my esteem of Christ, that I think I am easy, though they should bury me in a dunghill, if my soul were but with him.” 44 But,” said the other, “are you not sorry to part with all your family?” He replied, 44 I must own, that I have a concern about my wife and children; but when my heart enters properly into these words, 4 Be with the Lord,’ the leaving of them diminishes into a very small point; and although natural affection for them is as strong as ever, I hope that when I am away, Christ will far more than supply my room to them, and then, you see, we shall be better on all hands.”

Seeing his relatives assisting him under his weakness, he often said, 44 I really wonder at the kindness of men to me; but especially I am amazed, when I reflect that it is all the kindness of my God through them.”

When on any occasion his little children were ga* the red around him, be used to commend his Lord in such words as these: — 44 There is none so glorious as Christ! — he is altogether lovely; — if you could put all the gold and silver into one heap, the glory of Christ would far exceed all: I say this, having, I think, seen Jesus; but as yet, I have only seen him through a glass darkly; after this, I hope to see him face to face.”

To one of his sons in the ministry, be gave the following advice: — 44 Oh, try to run as deep in Christ’s debt as possible, and take his own way of paying, viz., by acknowledging his kindness; and when you mind your own debt, remember your father’s debt too: say, 4 Thou art my God, I will praise thee; my father’s God, I will exalt thee.’ Again, oh, labour, labour to win souls to Christ; souls are well worth the winning; and Christ is far more worthy of winning them too. It gives me pleasure now, to think that I did not indulge myself in idleness in my Master’s service; not but that I was idle, only I do not remember of indulging myself in it.”

June 15. A friend saying to him, 44 You are not now travelling to Stow sacrament, as you used to do about this time of the year;” he replied to this purpose: — 44 No; I wish to be travelling to God, as my exceeding joy; in the meantime, I must say, that at Stow I have had such sweet hours, that neither Christ nor I shall ever forget.”

Being asked what he thought of free grace, after

living so many years a minister, 61 I,” said he, 4 1 have altered my mind about many things; but I am now of the same mind that ever I was, as to grace and salvation through Christ.”

44 Where are now all your anxieties about the church?” said one; he replied, “I have left my anxiety about it, and about every thing else, on the Lord; and, indeed, were it not for a God in my nature, I would reckon the present case of the church very hopeless; but in the view of Christ, I am persuaded that she will yet remarkably revive on earth.”

June 17. He was now become extremely weak; but as the outward man decayed, so the inward man was strengthened day by day.

Lying on his bed, and scarce able to speak, he looked up to one of his brethren in the ministry, and

said, with a smile, 44 O Mr., 4 the Lord is my

strength and my song; and he also is become my salvation.”’

June 18. Seeing him much distressed with the failing of nature, a friend said to him, 44 Sir, I hope the Lord is not forsaking you now;” he answered, 44 No; God is an unchanging rock.”

Being asked by another how he was, he replied, 44 Oh, it is strange that the Lord Jesus encourageth us to pray even at the last!”

Fixing his eyes on two or three of his relations at his bedside, he addressed them in the most affecting manner; 44 Oh, sirs! dying work is serious! serious work indeed! and that you will soon find, as strong as you are.”

June 19. He seemed to be frequently engaged in speaking; but, owing to the change of his voice, it was only a very few of his words which could be understood.

Upon a friend saying to him, u Sir, you seem to be sore distressed;” it was thought that he made this answer; 41 The Lord hath his own way of carrying on his own work.”

The last words which he was heard to utter were these; u my christ!”

About four hours after, he fell asleep in Jesus, June 19, 1787.

“Mark the perfect man, and behold the upright; for the end of that man is peace,”