Decision as to India, 1853

IN the 23d of February the Presbytery were to meet

to consider the case. The usual steps were duly

taken, and the congregation cited to appear for their interests.

But, meanwhile, Mr. Milne was desirous that his people should be of one mind with himself as to this step; and should acknowledge what he believed to be the mind of God in it; and should, though it might be with sorrowful hearts, appear at the Presbytery, not as opposing, but acquiescing to this translation.

The full narrative of all the interviews and correspondence relating to these weeks, would occupy more space than can here be given to it. We content ourselves with a few letters which bring out the state of things, and introduce us to the decisive meeting of Presbytery.

Mr. Milne writes to Dr. Duff on the 12th of January :- —

‘My DEAR Dr. Durr, — I have this day had two new manifestations of my Lord’s tender grace, and great considerateness. Last night, when I got home late from a long day of visiting, ee er

I found a lengthened paper, containing reasons for my not leaving my present charge, along with two notes, one a medical certificate (from two of my elders), and the other an invitation to a conference this afternoon at three o’clock. Oh, how much I am humbled and laid in the dust by having so much ado made about a poor wretched creature! This morning I was quite comforted by a letter from Mr. Hawkins, which I took with me to the meeting. Oh, how painful to be among my dearest and most cherished friends, and constrained to grieve them! After prayer, I said, “I am not come to reason; how can I fight against such love? I wish merely to state my deliberate conviction of the divine leadings.” They all met me in the same spirit. How kind, respectful, and tender they are with me! I left them, acknowledging on both sides that all we wish is the will of the Lord. I was going home, very sadly, lamenting that you and Mr. Hawkins should be so much troubled about one so unworthy, and that I should be forced into publicity. At that moment the postman passed, and looking his bundle, gave me a letter; it was yours, and my burden fell off, and I was lightened. I fear Mr. Hawkins will be startled, when a huge lawyer-like paper is sent him. I don’t like to write again, for he must be weary of seeing this constant dropping. I begin to feel that there is a principle involved, ’ and ‘that something must be done to prove that it is not a pastor’s will, nor a people’s will, that is to determine this arrangement of the forces of Zion; but that it is the will of Him who walks among the golden candlesticks, My mind has never wavered; I have had sinkings, but have anon been lifted up again. What would be bitter indeed, would be division between this dear, dear people. If they come to you, try to plead what has ever been my prayer, my teaching, my example, “That they all may be one in the Lord.” ‘JOHN MILNE.’

On the 17th of the same month he writes to Mr.
Hawkins : —

he nations nee epee ees ee ol ll ‘My VERY DEAR Mr. HAWKINS, — Shall I allow that I look with no little interest to your visit? I suppose, in the first instance, I shall not be permitted to have more intercourse than shaking hands at the terminus, for my dear friends here are jealous of the influence which they think you and Dr. Duff exercise over me. I am quite alone in a hot, hot furnace of love. I think I can say to the Hindoo, breaking loose from caste and family, I know it all. Of course all this leads to the inquiry, as I told my people yesterday, “Is ¢izs a bar in my way — a bar of love? or is it rather a trial to test and prove, and see if we are those self-abandoned ones whom the Lord loves to use and honour?” I believe the people are in the very state that I prayerfully desire, — softened, loving, waiting on the Lord with one accord. They had a very full meeting on Thursday night, and another most touching meeting for prayer last night. I think all is going on in the way which Paul would call “Exceeding abundantly, above all that we can ask or think.” ‘Will you be firm? I feel the door of usefulness here so very wide, and the ready access to every one I meet, by day and night, that I feel there is a most weighty responsibility; and though all my predilections now, and plans, are eastward, and though it would be a real cross to be stopped, yet in my heart I seek to be in entire simplicity at the Lord’s disposal. I have “king, but desire to have no w#//ing till He decide it. I am sorry I cannot get over to-morrow night to the meeting in the New College. The subject is one ever uppermost in my heart. It is our communion week, and we meet in session. to-morrow night to confer about the spiritual condition of each district. What is passing here is surely a revival of the Disruption spirit, and as such I hail it — Believe me, ever very affectionately yours, ‘JOHN MILNE,’

Never did worldly man seek after promotion and emvlument with such earnestness as Mr. Milne set his heart upon India, and his face towards it. His whole soul seemed to burn with a desire to go forth and labour there. His correspondence shows this. His repeated and unwavering declarations to his brethren show it Nothing could turn him aside from this purpose.

The meeting of Presbytery was deeply solemn as well as touching. His people nobly gave him up, though with broken hearts. They left the whole matter in the hands of the Presbytery; and the Presbytery, with reluctance in one aspect, and with joy in another, felt constrained to make the sacrifice. He pleaded so fervently. It looked like pleading against Perth, against his people, and against Scotland. Yet it was not so. He pleaded for India; he pleaded for the heathen. He entreated to be allowed to go forth into the field of foreign work for Christ. We give his speech in full. Both from its own power, and from the intensity of soul in delivering it, its effect was overwhelming.

“MODERATOR, — My brethren will not be surprised if 1 ama good deal oppressed. I crave their sympathy and prayers. I am come to a crisis in my mortal history. If I draw back, as friends desire, I know not what shame may cover me, or what thoughts may haunt and dog me to the grave. And yet, if I go on, I shall do what may, perhaps must, affect me seriously for time and for eternity. If this were all, it would be a small matter, and it would be an unspeakable relief to know that my movements would only affect myself. But I cannot hide from myself the fact that my movement may, perhaps must, affect others both for time and for eternity. This is a burden too heavy for a sinful worm to bear, and I could not endure it, if I had not some realizing sense of a present Jehovah, in whose fulness I see enough to supply the wants of my dear flock who may soon be without a shepherd, and to meet all the exigencies of that new, untried life on which I am about to enter. I have received many tokens of my Lord’s loving-kindness in connection with this affair; and I reckon it not one of the least of them that, through the kindness of our beloved friends, Mr. Hawkins and Dr. Duff, I am this day spared the necessity of doing much more than simply declaring my unchanged, unwavering, unqualified adherence to the offer which I have made of my services for India. That offer was prompted by feelings and convictions which you have heard very fully detailed, and I know not that I should care to add anything to that statement, were I not most anxious that my brethren, if they cannot approve, should at least acquiesce in the step which I have purposed to take. A linked chain of circumstances, little in themselves, and which it would be impossible to narrate, but which are to me interesting and significant, have led me to a full assurance that this movement is of the Lord. It may be said that it had its commencement when I was in a state of sorrow and dejection; granted. But who will say that this was not the Lord emptying and bringing down my heart that I might be made willing to go whithersoever He would? It may be said that this offer was made when I was greatly ignorant of the affection which my dear people felt for me, and of the amount of spiritual good which I was the means of doing among them; granted. But who can say that this was not the Lord leading the blind in a way that he knew not? covering my eyes to what He saw all the time, that my heart and eye might be irrevocably fixed on a different field of labour? My brethren will doubtless see not a little sin and error in what I have done. But are there any actings of ours that are pure and perfect? And yet a sovereign God takes them and links them into those chains of providence and grace by which He accomplishes His eternal purposes. Looking back, I see some things done in ignorance, some in unbelief, and some with too little consideration and consultation of my dearest friends; yet I see also a pathway of heaven’s own light, that causes a lively hope that the Lord, out of this movement, will bring good to my flock and glory to Himself. I have found it a good time for my own soul since this negotiation began. The Lord has come near, and the world is far away. Long has the word sounded in my ear: “Leave all and follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” I have often coveted the grace to do it, and I do feel as I never did, “whom have I in heaven but Thee?” I go in simple faith. I have made no provisions, no conditions, no comparison of the two fields, no very particular inquiry about difficulties and dangers. I think I have heard a command “Go,” and I wish to go; “Follow Me,” and I wish to follow. And He who calls seems to be breaking up the way. Clouds have arisen, only to vanish; difficulties

have sprung up, only to give way; objections were suggested to my own mind, but they have been wholly removed. My dear people’s deep, wide, tender interest in the matter seemed at first a bar. My heart trembled, as wave after wave of delicate, respectful, loving solicitation broke upon me, and I feared my purpose would give way. I am a wonder to myself when I think how I have stood out; and this, more than anything, makes me believe that it is of the Lord. My friends here know that I early said, “If it be of the Lord, everything will give way,” and so I have found it. My people are greatly reconciled, and so will be my Presbytery too. Brethren, a bubble on the water, a straw in the gale, are insignificant in themselves, but significant as showing the direction of the wind and the drift of the tide. Such am I, one of the weakest and unworthiest among you. Yet for the moment I occupy an important position; for, from your decision on this matter, it will be seen how your heartis affected to that great command, “Go ye into all the world.” You have sent away our brother Grant to Australia, Cumming to Glasgow, without a single word of objection or disapproval. If you lay an embargo upon me; — but no, the thought is absurd. We have too long joined in the prayer, “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth.” Here we see and know only in part. We can take in things only in little parcels at a time. It is well that it is so. One scene of this affair is transacting to-day; another will come by and by. I know this heart will be torn aN

and lacerated in every part when I bid adieu, a lasting adieu, to my brethren and beloved flock. But I know it will be separation, not division, — we are one in Jesus; we shall still here meet at the throne of grace, and be reunited, ere long, around the throne of glory. Deal gently with me and my people. Bruised hearts are here. Pour in wine and oil, and exhort and help us to hope that this affliction, which is not joyous but grievous, will yet yield peaceable fruits of righteousness.’

The Presbytery yielded to his pleadings, though some were not fully persuaded in their own minds, and resolved to loose him from his charge in Perth, that he might forthwith proceed to Calcutta to take pastoral charge of the Free Church congregation there.

The desire of his heart was fulfilled. ‘I am debtor,’ he could say, ‘both to the Greeks and to the barbarians, both to the wise and to the unwise; so, as much as in me ‘s, I am ready to preach the gospel to you that are at’ — Calcutta also. He was now setting off to pay the debt. He was doing so with his whole soul. Never did the pale, broken-down exile return from the land of the sun to his native Scotland with half the gladness with which Mr. Milne went forth to carry the gospel to these ‘regions afar off.’

No minister ever loved his flock more than he did, yet he parted cheerfully from them to fulfil what he conceived to be his more special mission. He was now loosed from home; or, rather, he had found a new home and a new sphere. Thus he writes, in a private journal, on the Sabbath immediately before the meeting of the Presbytery, anticipating its decision.

His ‘entry’ on that Sabbath was a little premature; the case was not decided, though his own mind was made up. Many things might have hindered. But it was his way. The step which he had resolved to take was counted as already taken, and spoken of or written about as such. His ministerial arrangements were at times somewhat of this kind. He would fix his plans, arrange his meetings, expect you to help, announce you as one of his assistants, and yet his invitation was only on its way to you! He saw no hindrance, and so concluded that there was none. You must come, whether you could or not. It was all arranged and advertised! Yet how lovingly he bore the disappointment, when he found that you actually did not come! His earnestness might sometimes make him precipitate, sometimes too urgent; yet it never misconstrued a refusal, but took all in good part. Let us hear his journal : —

‘Leonard Bank, Perth, 20th February 18 53. — Sabbath night. — This is properly my last Sabbath as minister of St. Leonard’s. I have been graciously upheld and supported, been enabled to go on as if, on Wednesday, I was not to have the pastoral tie dissolved. How kind God and men are to me! I am overwhelmed. I fear the Lord and His goodness. Still there is in me the body of sin and death; and though, for the present, it seems graciously subdued, and greatly restrained and kept under, yet may I walk softly, watch and pray always, and diligently use all blessed appointed means of holiness. Lord save and bless!

‘21st February. — Monday night — Rather wearied, but I always find that a short season of quiet resting in the Lord sets me up again. How sweet to me is that word, “He restoreth my soul!” It was remarked to me to-night, as a pity, that my last Sabbath here will be the communion Sabbath. But I it

have had it brought to my mind that Thy parting, O my Lord, was at the supper table, and that Thy servant Paul took leave of his beloved friends with the breaking of bread.

‘23d February. Wednesday morning. — Dr. Duff and Mr. Hawkins came last night, and to-day the Presbytery will separate me from St. Leonard’s. Thou knowest, Lord, I have but two wishes — Thy glory, and good to my flock. “Yea, what is good the Lord will give.” And that, as the day, so my strength maybe. I feel, by long experience, that when I am weak, then I am strong; when I stumble, I am lifted up. Condescend, in Thy sovereign mercy, to glorify Thyself in me.

‘ Evening. — am no longer minister of St. Leonard’s. The meeting of Presbytery was all that could be desired, solemn and affectionate. Surely the Lord smiles on this whole movement. Lord, I am a stranger and sojourner with Thee. Keep my heart from resting henceforth on any earthly thing. I am a weak and sinful man; and yet, when I try to be Thine, Thou takest me.

‘26th February. — Saturday evening. — Went to Edinburgh on Thursday with Dr. Duffand Mr. Hawkins. Made necessary arrangements in a few minutes, as Mrs. Hawkins and Mrs. Duff are to arrange all. Oh! how smoothly and easily I am carried on. My God and my fellow-men are loading me with benefits. Make me holy. May I strive after holiness! May Satan’s devices disappoint him, and turn back on his own head! Bless what I have been thinking of for to-morrow. I wait on Thee.

‘a7th February. — Sabbath night. — This has been a very comfortable day. I went a little earlier to bed last night than usual, and I think that is good. I have greatly enjoyed my work this day. Whether it has been useful in the same degree I cannot tell; but I am thankful for Thy help, O my gracious Lord! Guide me in regard to that matter which has struck me in Bunyan. I feel my heart greatly drawn out for my young men. There must be about sixty of them at least, and many are gracious and most hopeful; also my young women; there at

hm, are as many of them, though I cannot speak with anything like the same certainty, not having seen so much of them. How my heart warms to the simple, gracious, praying lads! How often I have been refreshed among them, and what proofs I have had of their confidence and love! Help me to pray much for my people. Help me to join in the union of the week for prayer. Help me to preach savingly and convertingly while I remain. Last week has been a very busy one; and this day, though pleasant, has been exhausting; but my Lord sustains me. Thou wilt preserve me from every snare and evil work. Thou knowest where I am very weak and vulnerable. Oh, save me from all presumption. Humble, holy, I would be.

‘March 2a. — Wednesday morning. — I have this morning had some gracious longings for a soft, humble, holy heart. O my Lord, give it, continue it, increase it, for Thy name’s sake. Let Thy increasing goodness make me Thy humble, holy, adoring, burning lover and servant. My heart, my whole heart, I want to be entirely, eternally Thine. Teach me to distinguish between law and Thy blessed gospel. May I never look to myself for my warrant to come to Thee; but may what I growingly see in myself of all baseness, sin, and vileness, and what I desire growingly to see in Thee of all goodness and worthiness, and grace and beauty and desirableness, make me pant and languish, and long and die, of heart-love sickness.

‘ March 3d. — Monday morning. — Overwrought a good deal yesterday. Tried a little during the night, but now restored. Have written a little pastoral letter to the flock at Calcutta, How much I feel the necessity and blessedness of being careful for nothing; but in everything, with thanksgiving, pray! If I look at myself, or at outward things, I become gloomy; but in Thee, Blessed One, is no darkness at all. Even a Pilate could say, “I find no fault.” I desire eternally to cry, “Chiefest among ten thousand, and altogether lovely!”

‘March 5th, Glendoich — Saturday morning. — l see Thy goodness, O my Lord, and my own sin. I do desire grace to deny myself in every form. Oh, help me to crush all the desires of this corrupt nature, whether in the form of vanity or pride, or of ease orSense. I do see and feel a little that it is good to die daily. Be Thou chief and uppermost. Take us the foxes. I see a merciful deliverance, and Thou guidest me with Thine eye. Make me Thy friend; and may I walk with Thee in the fulness of a most transparent and unsuspecting confidence.

‘ Evening. — Arbroath. — Somewhat helped at church. I am overwhelmed with a sense of Thy goodness, O Lord. I see sin in what I have now before me, — I fear .it began in sin; but I also see more and more Thy gentleness and mercy in it. Oh, how kind — how kind — how kind Thou hast been. I do desire with all my heart to give myself unreservedly, eternally to Thee. I only wonder that Thou shouldst care for such a gift. My Lerd, — my blessed, glorious, heavenly Lord, — let me every day increasingly fear Thee and Thy goodness. Deal kindly with all those I am thinking of at present; manifest Thyself to them, and let them love Thee. I ask a blessing for to-morrow, — not merely help, but ower. Let souls be awakened and saved, and let me be able, as I journey along, to say, “Now thanks be to God, who always causeth us to triumph in Christ, and maketh manifest the savour of His knowledge by us.” Let me never trifle, but be always girded up and seeking eternal things.

‘ March 7th, Monday. — Leonard Bank. — On Saturday night a letter from Francis Edmond told me of the impossibility of getting on to Huntly Lodge, Perth, and Elgin, as I intended. This for a little was a trial, and disconcerted all my plans, because I have now little time. But I gave way, and doubt not that I shall yet see good reasons for this disappointment. Enjoyed the Sabbath work both in public and visiting the sick; but felt a wish that I had prayed more on Saturday night. I think I was too much carried away and excited. Happy this morning, and have comfort in all the circumstances of travel. I would seek to remember that every moment we exercise influence. I felt this in reading that sentence last EE ee, night, and I feel it to-day in the commencement of my converse with Mr. Webster. *Oh, what a watchful, self-denied, considerate, girded-up life one would need to live, and yet how easy and sweet such a life would be, if we walked in the light, as He is in the light! Lord, make me holy, that is, make me wholly, constantly, heartily Thine. I am once more home. I feel that I have never realized yet the final going away. But it will soon come, and Thou wilt bear me through. A new home even on earth, if Thou seest good, and an eternal one, by and by, above. Have just heard a report of some terrible accident to the Barbours on the railway. Help me to bear them on my heart. Guide my dear people at present.

‘March 8th. — Tuesday morning. — Went over last night to Springland, and found that the rumour was true, and that the reality was worse than the rumour. I feel that Thou, Lord, art giving me to bear these sorely afflicted friends upon my mind and heart night and day. Thy will be done. I desire increas-

ingly to count all loss. Make my heart clean. Thou knowest. that I have never felt bitterness under my trials, though I have sinfully sunk under them. But what, after all, are mine to theirs? Lord, support and bless them. Guide me in all I have to do to-day. Let me be Thy holy, happy, diligent, simple child and servant.

‘March 10th. — Thursday night. — Troubled rather on Tuesday, and also Wednesday morning. My Lord, I tried to look to Thee, and think I have found relief, though my seeking was poor and weak. Have had much happiness in my journey to the west. I thank Thee, Lord, for opportunity of meeting with so many friends in Glasgow — for the kindness of the Presbytery — for opportunities of usefulness on the way to Rothesay — for all that I have learned from the Mackails; for I feel more hope and encouragement than ever, and it is simply in looking to Thee. May I strive more and more after the work of faith with power. I see a clear ordering of all my steps. I seek the perfect love which casteth out fear. Thou hast also taught me lessons, and I pray that I may not forget, nor

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neglect them. O my Lord, guide, keep, and bless, and, in Thy good time and way, bring me to my new scene of work. Yet let me not expect much on earth, nor seek great things here.

‘I find my Lord strangely overruling all things. Thou art disappointing my fears, or rather, out of what I feared Thou art bringing goodness and blessing. Thou removest my burdens and cares, and makest my dear friends willing to take them up. May I care for thy things, and may my besetting sins be subdued. May pride and self be quickly checked, and greatly abhorred. Help me — help me to quench the fiery darts, and to live a life of faith, walking with God.

‘ March 12th, Saturday. — Edinburgh. — The Lord has been kind to-day. I have had comfort in preparing for to-morrow. I saw also Thy goodness yesterday, and my heart trembles and is enlarged. O my Lord, I long to be wholly and abidingly Thine. This body of sin must remain; but may I watch, and pray, and look to Thee. This world must remain; but may I think little or nothing of it, but in connection with Thee. Bless those I think of. Make them holy.

‘ April 3d. — Sabbath evening. — I desire thankfully to record my gracious Lord’s loving-kindness. Life has been flowing on in a pleasant business (ze. busy-ness). I find that my hands are made sufficient for me, and as the day so is my strength. I know no care. Amid constant engagement, and great responsibility, I really know no care, It is a style of life which I have sometimes fancied, but which I never knew before. I am trying to care for the things of the Lord, and He makes many dear, wise friends care for my concerns. I think I do see that He is making me feel an interest in every creature I meet in His providence. I find it a great help not to look at things in the heap, but to take them one by one, hour by hour, day by day. Also I am strangely delivered from care about earthly things. I seem not to seek my happiness in any way in them, but in the Lord; and in Him is no darkness, disappointment, or mortification. I almost wonder how I am-carried on; but it is the Lord. I feel very much as Simeon: Now lettest Thou Thy servant depart. My dear people’s love overflows like a mighty tide, and I should not know what to make of it; but a voice that brooks no refusal says, “Be still, and know that I am God.” If He lifts up, who can cast down? JI had much pleasure in meeting friends in Aberdeen, especially my dear friend Francis Edmond. Also much pleasant intercourse with the Duchess of Gordon and Mr. Rainy at Huntly. I cannot tell how much I owe to that lady. I have found my intercourse with her quickening and elevating. Also with my friends at Perth I have been happy, and I have enjoyed my meeting with Mrs. MacDonald and her family at Elgin. Let me record those things to look back upon, and find cheering in future hours of trial. I find my dear people looking to; and how will my heart rejoice, if, unitedly and speedily, they invite one to labour among them! Thy will, O Lord, be done. Thou overwhelmest me with kindness, and I have need to say, “I am oppressed, Lord undertake.” I ask guidance and help for the few remaining days. May I experience Thy constant presence and blessing. Remember, O Lord, my young men and women. Thou art making me to remember my evil ways and loathe myself. This morning I felt wearied, poor, and needy, and unable to realize present support. ‘Looked for help, and desired to be simple and earnest, and I have been helped all day, yet feel some regret that I did not make more of my meeting with the young women. I feel as if I had lost an opportunity. I find that no day passes without some slip, often at the very end. Help me to repent. Forgive and guide me to repair.

‘ April 4th. Monday morning. — I have given away my little almanac to Eliza, and so I shall put my wishings and thoughts here. Awoke pretty early. Felt my need of close, steady, continued seeking Thy face,O Lord. May I walk softly, and fear, because of Thy goodness. I have the prospect of a very busy week, and in each hour occupied. But I must not look at the whole, but live hour by hour. Thou wilt guide and help, ys

Keep my eyes from tears, and my feet from falling. May I watch and pray more, and be ever guided. This is not the place for relaxation. Help me to be in earnest in all I do, and always doing.’

In all these transactions and communications the single eye is manifest. His face was set stedfastly to his work, whatever and wherever that might be. He sought not to please himself. Nothing could turn him aside. He was a minister of Christ; nor could anything make him lose sight of that. In the pulpit, or out of it, he was the same. The more you knew him, the oftener you conversed with him or corresponded with him, the longer you lived with him, the more did you learn to admire and love. His house, his study, his closet, his servants, his guests, his nearest relatives, were witnesses of his bright consistency. The farther in you went, the more of Christianity you found, and the more of the image of Christ you saw.

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