His Deep Interest in Missions to the Heathen, His Laborious Exertions in Promoting Them, and His Offering Himself to Become a Missionary

Mr. Pearce was uniformly the spiritual and active servant of Christ; but neither his spirituality nor his activity would have appeared in the manner they have, but for his engagements in the introduction of the gospel among the heathen.

It was not long after his settlement at Birmingham that he became acquainted with Mr. Carey, in whom he found a soul nearly akin to his own. When the brethren in the counties of Northampton and Leicester formed themselves into a Missionary Society at Kettering, in October, 1792, he was there, and entered into the business with all his heart. On his return to Birmingham, he communicated the subject to his congregation with so much effect, that in addition to the small sum of 131. 2s. 6d. with which the subscription was begun, 701. were collected, and transmitted to the treasurer; and the leading members of the church formed themselves into an Assistant Society. Early in the following spring, when it was resolved that our brethren Thomas and Carey should go on a mission to the Hindoos, and a considerable sum of money was wanted for the purpose, he labored with increasing ardor in various parts of the kingdom; and, when the object was accomplished, he rejoiced in all his labor, smiling in every company, and blessing God.

During his labors and journeys, on this important object, he wrote several letters to his friends, an extract or two from which will discover the state of his mind at this period, as well as the encouragements that he met with in his work at home.

SASIUiiL PKARCE. 49

(To Mr. Stead man.”>

‘^ Birming/utm, February 8, 1T93.
” My very dear Brother,

*’ Union of sentiment often creates friendship among carnal men, and similarity of feeling never fails to produce affection among pious men, as far as that similarity is known. I have loved you ever since I knew you. We saw, we felt alike, in the interesting concerns of personal religion. We formed a reciprocal attachment. We expressed it by words. We agreed to do so by correspondence; and we have not altogether been wanting to our engagements. But our correspondence has been interrupted, not, I be= lieve, through any diminution of regard on either side; I am persuaded not on mine. I rather condemn myself as the first aggressor: but I excuse, while I condemn, and so would you, did you know half the concerns which devolve upon me in my present situation. Birmingham is a central place; the inhabitants are numerous; our members are between 300 and 400. The word preached has lately been remarkably blessed. In less than fi months I baptized nearly forty persons, almost all newly awakened. Next Lord’s day week I expect to add to their number. These persons came to my house, to propose the most important of all inquiries — ‘What must we do to be saved V I have been thus engaged some weeks, during the greatest part of most days.

This, with four sermons a week, will account for my neglect. But your letter, received this evening, calls forth every latent affection of my heart for you. We are, my dear brother, not only united in the common object of pursuit — sahatio7i; and not only rest our hopes on the same foundation — Jesus Christ; but we feel alike respecting the poor heathen. O how Christianity expands the mind! What tenderness for our poor fellow-sinners! What sympathy for their moral misery! What desires to do them everlasting good does it provoke! How satisfying to our judgments is this evidence of grace! How gratifying to our present taste are these benevolent breathings! O how I love that man whose soul is deeply affected with the importance of the precious gospel to idolatrous heathen! Excellently, my dear brother, you observe, that great as its blessings are in the estimation of a sinner called in a Christian country, inexpressibly greater must they shine on the newly illuminated mind of a converted pagan.

“We shall be glad of all your assistance in a pecuniary way, as the expense will be heavy. Dear brother Carey has paid us a visit of love this week. He preached excellently to-night. I expect brother Thomas next week, or the week after. I wish you would meet him here. I have a house at your command, and a heart greatly attached to you.

“S. P.”

(To Mr, Fuller.)

“Febnuiry 23, 1793.

“I am willing to go any where, and do any thing in my power; but I hope no plan will be suffered to interfere with the affecting — hoped for — dreaded day, March 13, (the day of our brethren Carey and Thomas’s solemn designation at Leicester.) O how the anticipation of it at once rejoices and afflicts me! Our hearts need steeling to part with our much-loved brethren, who are about to venture their all for the name of the Lord Jesus. I feel my soul melting within me when I read the twentieth chapter of Acts, and especially verses 36-38. But why grieve? We shall see them again. O yes; them and the children whom the Lord will give them; — we and the children whom the Lord hath given us. We shall meet again, not to weep and pray, but to smile and praise.

“S. P.”

From the day of the departure of the Missionaries, no one was more importunate in prayer than Mr. Pearce; and, on the news of their safe arrival, no one was more filled with joy and thankfulness. The following extracts of letters to them will exhibit the interest he felt in their welfare as well as in the prosperity of the church of Christ at large.

(To Mr. Thomas and Mr. Carey.)

*’ Kettering, May 26, 1794.
♦•My dear Brethren,

“Where you nopv are, where this may find you,

MEMOIR or

or whether it will ever reach you, 1 know not; but be your present sojourning where it may, whether at Tranquebar, Calcutta, Malda, or elsewhere, I feel the most affectionate attachment to your persons, and the highest degree of concern for your prosperity. Nor am I singular; the message you took to the Christian brethren in Hindostan I may now convey to yourselves, and say, ‘Thousands of prayers have been, and still are, offered unto God on your behalf A more convincing proof of our regard we cannot give you; nor, I am persuaded, do you desire. O my dear, dear brethren, our separate prayers will be exchanged ere long for united praises, whilst our hearts glow with an ardor of gratitude and joy now unknown. What a motive is this to ’ our always abounding in the work of the Lord!’ Our reward will be great; our time both for working and suflTering is but short; but the importance of the object we all pursue is infinite.

You, brethren, are called to the most arduous part of this important service; but I doubt not you find in Asia, what we do in Europe, that ‘God is faithful who hath called you to partnership (y.oimviet) with his son Jesus Christ,’ and gives you strength equal to your day. I long to hear of and from you, and with anxious expectation wait for some accounts from India.

“Many things have transpired since you left us, which I should have taken a pleasure in communieating, had you no other medium of intelligence; but brother Fuller has rendered this needless, by the detail of occurrences which he is prepared to give you; and nothing is so tedious as a twice-told tale. A few articles, however, he may have omitted; or, if twice told, may be of importance enough to forbid disgust.

“Our Mission Society has been the means of provoking other Christians to love and good works. An association is formed by the Independent Brethren in Warwickshire, for the propagation of the Gospel in that county, and if possible among the heathen too. It goes on with spirit, and promises success. I preached a sermon for them about a fortnight ago from Gal. 5:13, ‘By love serve one another f and put my people’s generosity again to the test. It gave me pleasure to find that at the doors £. Is. 3d. were contributed by them. I hope it will be a means of uniting us more firmly in the common cause. Another association was formed December 1 1, 1793, at Kidderminster, of seven churches in Worcestershire, for the purpose of promoting evangelical truth and union.

“The resolutions both of the Warwickshire and Worcestershire Associations are in print. To the former is added a large extract from brother Carey’s account of the state of the world, &c. Were I at home, I would send you a copy of both these publications, not doubting but you would derive considerable pleasure from a perusal: but I am now at

Kettering, and preached yesterday for brother Fuller, who is in London, — a successful pleader for the heathen, and the Society formed for their spiritual advantage. I will desire him to procure them for you in London, if possible, and hope he will succeed.

“We have had a considerable work of God to rejoice in at Cannon-street the last winter: many have been converted unto him, and professed his name. Nor are other churches without occasion for praise; eight have been added at Arnsby; twelve I baptized at Leicester; and seven more I hear are about to join the dear people in Harvey Lane (Leicester) soon. A young man from our church at Birmingham has been preaching to them for above six months. He is generally approved. The congregation is upon the increase, and the prospect is at present very encouraging. The sermon I preached on the morning of baptism, at the request of the church, is now in the press; but I fear will not be out time enough to admit the sending a few copies with this letter.

“At Walgrave there are nearly twenty young people under hopeful concern. Some have been added at Northampton since brother Ryland has removed to Bristol, where he was formally settled the week before last: he is to spend some time with his friends at College Lane after the association; and I hear that seven candidates are waiting to receive baptism by his hands. At Chenies too, and at Earl’s

Barton, (where Mr. Shrewsbury was ordamed over a congregation last Thursday,) and other places, the dear Redeemer’s cause appears to be considerably advancing. What reason we have to praise the Lord, and give thanks to his holy name!

“I forget whether Guilsborough meeting-house was destroyed by some incendiaries before you sailed or not; be that as it may, a very good house, capable of containing 600 people, was opened last Wednesday fortnight; brother Sutcliff and I preached; I, from ‘The icrath of man shall praise thee f he from ‘Save now, I beseech thee, O Lord; O Lord, I beseech thee, send now prosperity It was a solemn and delightful day. Brother Blundell preached at night from Judges, 5:31; and I again, to above two hundred people, the next morning at five o’clock. I recollect nothing more but what brother Fuller has written for your information already, and have therefore only to add the strongest assurances of my fraternal regard, and desire of hearing from you <50on. Do give my love to brethren Ram Ram and Parbotee. It would give me great pleasure if you would prevail on the former (by profession a scribe) to write me; but I must get you to English it before it is sent off I confess there is something of fancy in the request; but I think more of brotherly love. The idea of an epistle from a pious Hindoo will be peculiarly gratifying; and perhaps a means of serving the good cause, by opening the heart, as

5b MEMOIR OF well as convincing the judgments of some whose assistance in this good work may be solicited. Adieu, my dear brethren, pray for me, and do not forget me when an opportunity offers for sending to England. “I am, most affectionately, yours in the dear Redeemer, “S. P.”

(To Mr. Thomas und Mr. Carey.)

‘’ Birniing/ui7n, July 24, 179i.
” My very dear Brethren,

“It has rejoiced all our hearts to hear that you arrived safe in India, although the information would have afforded double joy had it been conveyed by letters from yourselves. All we knew for certainty, till yesterday, was that the Princess Maria had passed the Downs on her return to Denmark. Long we waited, and many letters of inquiry passed between brethren Ryland, Fuller, &c. the substance of which was, Have you heard from India? All answered, No-! At last I got Mr. Potts, who does business with the captain, to write to him about you. Yesterday I received the joyful news that he ’ landed you all in perfect good health.’ I sat up all night to copy his letter for the satisfaction of various interested brethren; and now 1 have but five minutes left to write to you. What shall I say, dear brethren? We love you in the bowels of Christ, and we ardently pray for you every day. Our closets, our families, our stated and occasional meetings, always witness our supplications for your peace, health, prudence, fortitude, perseverance and success. Not knowing where you were, brother Fuller, who was in London collecting this year, sent £ 50 worth of goods for your use at a venture. We only want to know your necessities in order to supply them: but why have you not written at least to one of us? Perhaps you have before now: but the first three homeward bound East Indiamen this season have been captured by the French. Do write by more ships than one, and tell us all about your work and reward. The cause of Christ in England has not experienced much alteration since you left it. In some churches the sun of righteousness shines; in others, a wintry gloom prevails. Leicester church is, without exception, the most prosperous in the whole association. Seventeen have been lately added. At Birmingham I have baptized about sixty in the last twelve months.

“I can only say, my wife joins in the most affectionate regards to both of you and yours. Do my dear, dear brethren, write very soon to

“Your affectionate, though unworthy brother,

“S. P.”

(To Mr. Carey.)

“Birmingham, August 9, 1794.
” My vory dear Brother,

*’ It was but a day or two after I had written my last letters that I had the inexpressible joy of receiving yours, dated Bay of Bengal, and Calcutta, That moment more than compensated for all the anxieties which my affection for you, and concern for the prosperity of the good cause in which you have embarked, had created. Yes, the harvest already begins to be gathered in; and though, in some respects, I, with my brethren here, went forth weeping, now I bear my sheaves, rejoicing in the prospect of a still larger crop.

“I need not acquaint you that, last Monday the Committee, with other warm friends to the mission, met at Guilsborough. Brother Fuller’s letter will render all that information mere tautology. The account you gave us inspired us with new vigor, and greatly strengthened our hands in the Lord. We read, and wept, and praised, and prayed. O, who but the Christian feels such pleasures as are connected with friendship for our dear Lord Jesus Christ? Were there no hereafter, my dying breath should praise him for giving me a heart decidedly for him and his glorious cause on earth. May my whole life be spent for Him! O, I feel, indeed I feel, that nothing is worth living for but his glory, and the good of his church. I hope I feel a daily conviction that I am a mere atom in creation — less than nothing, and vanity: yet, with all my conscious meanness and un worthiness,! cannot help feeling myself dignified in my relation to the Son of God j and the highest ambition of my heart is to do something for him while I live. There is no part of my life which I reflect on with, so much pleasure as that which has been spent in behalf of the Society under whose patronage you are; and thrice hajpjpy should I be, loere the path of duty plain, if I could personally share the toils and pleasures of the mission with you. At times I indulge a hope that my Lord will put me in a similar station; but then again, I think, he well knows I am inadequate to a task so arduous. Well, ’tis his to appoint — mine to acquiesce, submit, and obey. I trust, whenever, or wherever he.callsi I shall have grace immediately to say, Speak, Lord, for thy servant heareth.’ It is our mercy, my brother, that he chooses our inheritance for us: he knows best our fitness for the various posts in his spiritual kingdom; and so that we are but where he would have us, and doing what he bids us, we may rejoice in the common hope that he will at last say to us all, ‘Well done.’

:” Last Lord’s day I read a part of your letter from the pulpit. It would have done you good had you seen the effects. It made the lame to leap as a hart, and caused the tongue of the dumb to sing! The following evening, being the monthly prayer-meetmg, a crowd of Christians came to testify their joy and gratitude; and you may assure yourselves that you have the prayers of the Israel of God. Next Monday morning I purpose leaving Birmingham, for live or six weeks, on a journey to my friends in Devonshire. It is now long past the hour of mid* night, and to-morrow, or rather this day, is our ordinance day. I mention this to account for my not writing you two or three sheets of paper, as 1 should rejoice to do had I time.

*’ Few occurrences have taken place in the circle of our acquaintance since my last. At Sutton, in the Elms, a young man from Bristol was ordained a few days ago. Brother Ryland gave the charge — Brother Fuller addressed the people — I spoke at night. It was a good day. The young man from our church is to be ordained over your dear friends at Leicester, on the 21st of September. He has been, and is likely to be useful there: twenty-five persons, I think, have been baptized within the last five months, and more are on the way. At Birmingham the Lord has not forsaken us. I inclose two copies of the sermon I preached at Leicester — one for yourself, the other for Mr. Thomas. Had I more time, (for it was not till this evening that I had notice of your goods going so soon,) I would have made up a larger packet. The Society have voted you a Polyglot Bible and Malay Testament, both of which brother Fuller has procured. Do write often; and be as particular as to your progress as your convenience will admit; especially give us such things respecting the natives, their customs, shasters, and attention to the Gospel, as are likely to interest Euro-I peans. A few extracts of this kind from your letters will go a wonderful way in procuring support to the Society, and greatly .facilitate our applications for the public benevolence. One well attested fact goes further than a hundred speculations, however pious ar promising. My, and my dear Mrs. P’s. affectionate wishes attend all your family. I hope you will tell the Society all your wants. No exertions on our part shall be wanting to make your situation comfortable. I rejoice that you and Mr. T. love one another. The God of love and peace be with you always.

“I am, my dear brother, with the most unfeigned respect and affection, your unworthy brother, in our dear Lord Jesus, S. P”

Hitherto we had witnessed his zeal in promoting this important undertaking at home i but this did not satisfy him. In October, 1794, we were given to understand that he had for some time had it in serious contemplation to go himself, and to cast in his lot with his brethren in India. When his designs were first discovered, his friends and connections were much concerned, and endeavored to persuade him that he was already in a sphere of usefulness to important to be relinquished. But his answer was, that they were too interested in the affair to be competent judges. And nothing would satisfy hini short of his making a formal offer of his services to G

62 MEMOin OF

the Committee ] nor could he be happy for them to decide upon it without their appointing a day of solemn prayer for the purpose; and, when assembled, hearing an account of the principal exercises of his mind upon the subject, with the reasons which induced him to make the proposal, as well as the reasons aliedged by his connections against it.

On October 4, 1794, he wrote to an intimate friend, of whom he entertained a hope that he might accompany him, as follows:

»’ Last Wednesday I rode to Northampton, where a minister’s meeting was held on the following day. We talked much about the mission. We read some fresh and very encouraging accounts. We lamented that we could not obtain any suitable persons to send out to the assistance of our brethren. Now, what do you think was said at this meeting? My dear brother, do not be surprised that all present united in opinion that in all our connection there was no man known to us so suitable as pm, provided you were disposed for it, and things could be brought to bear. I thought it right to mention this circumstance; and one thing more I cannot refrain from saying, that, were it manifestly the will of God, I should call that the happiest hour of my life wjiich witnessed our both embarking with our families on board one ship, as helpers of the servants of Jesus Christ already in Hindostan. Yes; I could unreluctantly ‘eave Europe and all its contents, for tho pleasures and perils of this glorious service. Often my heart, in the sincerest ardors, thus breathes forth its desires unto God, — ‘Here am I, send me.’ But I am ignorant whether you from experience can realise my feelings. Perhaps you have friendship enough for i:yj to lay open your meditations on this subject in your next. If you have had half the exercises that I have, it would be a relief to your laboring mind: or, if you think I have made too free with you, reprove me, and I will love you still. O if I could find a heart that had been tortured and ravished like my own in this respect, I should form a new kmd of alliance, and feel a friendship of a novel species. With eagerness should I communicate all the vicissitudes of my sensations, and with eagerness listen to a recital of kindred feelings. With impatience I should seek, and with gratitude receive direction and support; and, I hope, feel a new occasion of thankfulness when 1 bow my knee to the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort. Whence is it that I thus write to you, as I have never written to any one before? Is there a fellowship of the spirit; or is it the confidence that I have in your friendship that thus directs ray pen? Tell me,

dear! Tell me how you felt, and how you

still feel, on this interesting subject, and do not long delay the gratification to your very affectionate friend and brother, S. P.”

64 MEjioin or

About this time he wrote to Mr. Carey the following letter, which is full of his usual zeal and self-dedication.

“Birmingham October 24, 1794.
•My dear, dear Brother,

“Never did I take pen in hand with such a combination of interesting feelings before. Love for your person, respect for your character, joy at your prospects, gratitude for your communications, desire for your success, and, withal, a hope that we shall yet meet in the flesh, so variously affect me, that I can searceiy compose myself to write at all.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who inclined your heart to undertake his cause among the heathen — a cause which European Christians may blush that they have neglected so long. But I hope the day is dawning when we shall all feel and sing as angels — ‘Peace on earth, and good will to men.” We have indeed been seeking every man his own things, not the things of others. Ah, cursed self! how have Christians been bowing down to thy altar, forgetful that true philanthropy is a leading feature of that religion which they profess, and of the character of him whose name they bear. We talk of morals, whilst our neglect of the duties of the second table too plainly demonstrate that we have imbibed but a small portion of the spirit of the first. We abide the greatest part of our lives beneath the power of the common lethargy; and if perchance a desire ever rises in our bosom for the good of others, we congratulate ourselves on our superior love for mankind, and dose, and dose again, whilst millions of immortal souls, as precious as our own, drop into hell without an effort for their salvation. Ah, whither is the apostolic spirit fled from the churches? Unlike the translated prophet who bequeathed a double portion of his spirit to his successor, the apostle of the Gentiles and his contemporaries seem to have taken all their heroism, affection, zeal, greatness of design, and comprehension of effort, with them to the skies, whilst we exist to gaze at what we scarce hope ever to obtain. But why? Where is the Lord God of Elijah? Where is the Lord God of Paul? Still he is near unto us, ready to animate with equal ardor the bosom of every faithful soldier who is willing to obey the injunctions of his Lord. You, my brother, have caught the falling mantle; but we in Europe are ready to ask ’ hast thou not a blessing for us also V Shall we not share the pains and pleasures, the conflicts and the conquests of our distant brethren? Who denies us the privilege? What forbids our standing in the same rank with them, and enjoying the honor of the foremost in the charge of Immanuel’s troops upon the infernal powers among the heathen? Brother, I long to stand by your side, and participate in all the vicissitudes of the attack — an attack which nothing but cowardice can make unsuccessful. Yes, the Captain of our salvation marches at our head. Sometimes he may withdraw his presence (but not his power) to try our prowess with our spiritual arms and celestial armor. O, what cannot a lively faith do for the Christian soldier! It will bring the Deliverer from the skies; it will array him as with a vesture dipped in blood; it will place him in the front of the battle, and put a newsong into our mouths — ‘These made war with the Lamb; but the Lamb shall overcome them.’ Yes, he shall — the victory is sure before we enter the field: the crown is already prepared to adorn our brows, even that crown of glory which fadeth not away, and already we have resolved what to do with it, — we will lay it at the conqueror’s feet, and say, ‘Not unto us, O Lord, not unto us, but to thy name give glory,’ while all heaven unites in the chorus, * Worthy the Lamb.’

“Whither hath the subject of the conversion of the heathen world led me? Forgive the style, so much more like that of a declaimer than a correspondent; but I feel the immense magnitude of my subject, and (as a brother minister in an inclosed pamphlet says) ‘I must write what I feel.’ I will try to be more composed whilst I unbosom myself (at 15,000 miles distance) to one whom I so dearly love in the bowels of Christ Jesus.

“Neither of us has forgot a conversation a little before you left us, on the exercises of my mind respecting an effort for the spread of the Gospel in foreign lands, which for ten years now have more or less attended me. I cannot forget your prediction, with which the conversation ended, — ’ well, you will come after us.’ From that time to the present, the desire has been increasing with scarcely any intermission, except when spiritual things have been at a low ebb with me; but for several weeks past I have been too full to contain, and I resolved to come to a point either about going or staying. For this purpose, I first attentively considered my situation in every relation at home, and the duty of ministers arising from the general commission of our. Lord, together with the disproportion of means to the multitude of mankind; and I concluded that it was my duty to join hands with you in your great and laudable undertaking. I expected opposition from many quarters; I thought I would take every prudent step to know the mind of God; and therefore, secondly, determined, after setting apart a certain day in every week, for some weeks, on purpose to pray, with fasting, to God, for his direction, and examining the matter on every side, I would(if the same views remained or were confirmed) lay the case before the Society, and leave it with them to decide, resolving in the strength of God to abide by their judgment. The time I proposed to wait is now nearly expired, I have met with heart-breaking trials of a domestic nature since I made known my inclination; but I thank God I faint not, and every day more fully convinces me that I ought to go. Now, as I mean to adhere to my plan, I have not yet acquainted the Society with my views. There is a meeting at Road, on the 12th of November, 1794. That opportunity I intend to embrace, God willing, and then, whether my Master will count me worthy of so high a calling, or whether his providence may check my temerity, will be determined. I wdsh I had time to delay sending this letter till that period is past; but the ships sail in a few days, and I was unwilling that you should be unacquainted with the state of my mind. I have reason to be thankful that, notwithstanding I have been severely tried from quarters the most afflictive, yet I never enjoyed so much of God since I have been in the ministry ] where no friend would or could sympathise with me, I have found him ever nigh; and yesterday my wife told me that, on mature deliberation, she approved of the plan I have adopted, and was much more comfortable in her mind than ever before since she had known my wishes, and was willing to leave it to the judgment of the ministers as I proposed, hoping that she should see in it the hand of God. O help me to praise! It is a relief inexpressible. If I come, I am .not without hopes of a companion in the good work.

“Brother, (a man of the first-rate piety, deep hujiulity, great zeal, and good sense,) and I correspond oa it; and he says nothing but a fear that he is not qualified keeps him from deciding. I think his judgment will be governed here by the opinion of the Society; and I had the pleasure of conveying to him, in their name, their opinions, that in all our connection, there was not a man so suitable as himself. Besides him, a brother who is not in the ministry, and his wife, have offered to accompany me if I go; a pair the most suitable that I can conceive of — poor people. Affection for my wife inclines the good woman to the voyage, and zeal and affection operate on her husband. I could not but think it a kind providence, that the same afternoon on “which my wife had been objecting, on account of her being incapable to do the work of a nurse and servant too, that same afternoon these good people offered their services; they are both my own children in the faith, of five years standing; active, simple, faithful, hospitable people, and are willing to be in the steerage rather than not go. If we all come, it will be no small addition to your church, or rather the church of the dear Lord Jesus in Asia.

“I have had Halhed’s grammar about a fortnight; and have made myself master of most of the characters, the rules for the formation of nouns, and part of the chapter on pronouns: but I fear I shall be able to do but little to purpose, for want of a tutor to teach me the pronunciation. Of one character in the Sanscrit pronouns I can find no account any where: you will tell me readily when we meet; but I must leave it for the present. O how happy shall I be to sound the name of my dear Lord Jesus in the Bengalee tongue, on the plains of Hindostan! Give my love to dear Ram Boshoo; tell him I long to take him by the hand, and call him brother. I suppose ere now he has felt the constraints of divine love overcoming the fears of man, and that he has become an avowed disciple of the lowly and lovely Jesus. The Lord be with you when you partake together of the memorials of the Redeemer’s sorrows. I want much to hear from you about Parbotee; so do all our friends. Perhaps some interesting account is now on the way for Europe. The Lord send us good news from a far country. In my next, I hope I shall be able with propriety to ask you withall to ’ prepare me a lodging.’ If I come next year, and any ship goes before me, by that you shall know, all particulars.

“It is late on Saturday evening. I propose preaching to-morrow from 1 Cor. 13: 13. The comprehension of Christian love as to its objects — the sweetness, universality, and energy of its operations — with the permanency of its nature — have occurred as illustrative of its superiority to every other grace. The afternoon subject I think will be on 2 Cor. 3: 8, including, among other things, the extent of the gospel dispensation. It comprehends gentiles as well as Jews, and Hindoos as well as Englishmen,

I have not fixed on a subject for the evening yet Adieu, my dear, dear brother; the God of love, peace, and glory, be with you, and with

“Your unworthy, but affectionate brother in Christ Jesus, S. P.”

About the same period he wrote the following letter, which, besides exhibiting evidences of the piety and zeal which animated his own breast, illustrates the happy talent he possessed of exhorting and persuading others to their duty in regard to the heathen. For many years after this letter was written, American Christians did little for this object — they are now happily awakening to their duty, and appear taking the foremost place in the army of the Lamb.

(To sir. Rogers, of Philadelphia.)

“Birmingham, Oct. 27, 1794.
” My very dear Friend,

“It is certainly as impossible for Christians to maintain a pious intercourse without love, as for the magnetic needle to point any where but to the pole. Suffer me, then, if I address you in a less distant form than heretofore. I think of you with no less respect, nor of myself, I hope, with less humility, though I approach you with this unwonted familiarity. The difference arising from conscious inferiority, is not inconsistent, I presume, with the unrestrained effusions of Christian love.

“In situation, in publicity of character, in mental

72 MfiMoift or

vigor, in age, in literary acquirements, in a thousand * things, we may differ; but still we are 07ie in Christ Jesus, that dear centre of union to holy angels and holy men, to perfect saints above and imperfect saints below. Allow me, then, in the exercise of that godlike grace, which has the precedence even to that faith which is unto salvation, and that hope which fastens upon immortality, to throw the arms of my affection across the Atlantic, and embrace you as a beloved brother in the Lord. Yes, you will allow it; you will not disdain my youth, nor want of name; you will regard me as participating of his paternal regards of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named; you will give me the right hand of fellowship, and say, ‘Affection without rudeness deserves no censure.’

“There is something in a similarity of circumstances which gives both tenderness and energy to our affectionate sensations. When I read the very affecting account of the late trial of your faith and patience, I felt as if affliction can strengthen the bonds of affection. I felt a fellowship with you unknown before. Mine was indeed but a taste compared with yours: your heavenly Father saw fit that you should drink the cup even to the dregs; but his wisdom and his love have an equal share in his conduct towards his people. During the few days my dearest friend lay senseless, on what we all expected would be the bed of death, I found his sovereignty silenced all my

SAMrtL rEARC£> 73

tomplainls, and his love sweetened all my sorrows. No doubt, you also have found strength equal to your day: and you daily see enough in God to compensate for the loss of every less good. It is thither I am obliged to fiy for all substantial comfort; and, blessed be Jehovah, there I daily find it! Were there no being in the universe besides Jehovah and myself, I see enough in him to ravish and satisfy my Boul. Well did the pious Psalmist say, ‘Whom have 1 in heaven but thee: and there is none upon earth that I desire besides thee!’ Lord, help us ever to say so too!

“Most sincerely do I thank you for your friendly epistle of June 18. Your account of Mr. M.’s conversion Vt’armed my heart, and the hearts of manv others to whom 1 read it. What a trophy of Immanuel’s grace! But are we less so? The gradual rising of the sun is no less an effort of the divine energy, than the eccentric movements of the blazing comet; the latter may produce more surprise in the minds of a gazing crowd, but not more admiration m the heart of the devout philosopher. By whatever methods we become Christians, all, all must acknov/- ledge, that ‘by the grace of God we are what we are.’ O that like him who first made that acknowledgment, your friend may be assisted to spend himself in successfully preaching that faith which once he ‘destroyed!

“I know not how to make adequate acknowledg* ments for your introducing” me to Mr. Jones, whose valuable correspondence 1 shall hope to retain. I love the man who tenderly feels for the souls of the poor heathen. What a reflection is it on the philanthropy of every Christian country, that no more pains have been taken to carry the light of eternal life to those nations that sit in darkness and in the shadow of death! What a lapse of time since the Reformation! but how have its wasting years been improved to this important end? We and our fathers have thought, and spoken, and wTitten, and heard, and read about Christian benevolence; we have investigated its nature, admired its beauty, contended for its importance-to the Christian character, whilst, like the unapproved servant, though we knew our Master’s w411, we did it not. Almost the whole Christian world have partaken of the common lethargy; and if here and there a few have thought about the state of pagan nations, and felt a faint desire for their salvation, or at most mentioned ’ the ingathering of the Jews and the fullness of the Gentiles as a thing of course in their prayers, they have felt a self-complacency on account of their superior zeal; comparing their feelings, not with the greatness of the subject, but with those of their yet more lethargic neighbors. They have satisfied themselves without any positive exertions, and lam down dozing, dozing at their ease, whilst thousands of immortal souls, as precious as their own, have been daily dropping into helU without an effort made for their salvation! But I hope the time is come when we shall, every man, look no longer at his own things only, but the things of others. Zion already travails in birth, and soon she shall bring forth her children. Already heaven is besieged with earnest supplications: ’ they who make mention of the Lord keep no longer silence, and will give him no rest until he make Jerusalem a praise in the earth.’ S. P.”

About a month preceding the decision of the committee, with regard to the propriety of his going, he drew up a narrative of his experience respecting it; resolving at the same time, as intimated above in his letter to Mr. Carey, to set apart one day in every week for secret fasting and prayer to God for direction; and to keep a diary of the exercises of his mind during the month.

When the Committee were assembled at Northampton, according to his desire, he presented to them the narrative, which was as follows:

‘’October 8, 1794.” Having had some peculiar exercises of mind relative to my personally attempting to labor for the dear Redeemer amongst the heathen, and being at a loss to know what is the will of the Lord in this matter respecting me, I have thought that I might gain some satisfaction by adopting these two resolutions; First, that I will, as in the presence of God, faithfully endeavor to recollect the various workings of my mind on this subject, from the first period of my feeling any desire of this nature until now, and commit them to writing; together with what considerations do now, on the one b’lnd, impel me to the work, and, on the other hand, wnat prevents me from immediately resolving to enter upon it. Secondly, that I will from this day keep a regular journal, wdth special relation to this matter.

“This account and journal will, 1 hope, furnish me with much assistance in forming a future opinion of the path of duty; as well as hc.p imy friends, v.’hom I may hereafter think proper to consult, to give me suitable advice in the business. Lord help me!

“It is very common for young converts to feel strong desires for the conversion of others. Theses desires immediately followed the evidences of my own religion; and I remember well they were particularly fixed upon the poor heathen. I believe the first week that I knew the grace of God in truth, I put up many fervent cries to heaven in their behalf; and at the same time felt an earnest desire ti» be employed in promoting their salvation. It waa not long after, that the first settlers sailed for Botany Bay. I longed to go with them, although in company with the convicts, in hopes of making known the blessings of the great salvation in New-Zealand.

SAMU£L PEARCE. 77

I actually had thought of making an effort to go out unknown to my friends; but, ignorant how to proceed, I abandoned my purpose. Nevertheless, I could not help talking about it; and at one time a report was circulated that I was really going, and a neighboring minister very seriously conversed with me on the subject.

“While I was at the Bristol Academy, the desire remained; but not with such energy as at first, except on one or two occasions. Being sent by my tutor to preach two Sabbaths at Coleford, I felt particular sweetness in devoting the evenings of the week to going from house to house among the colliers who dwell in the forest of Deane, adjoining the town, conversing and praying with them, and preaching to them. In these exercises I found the most solid satisfaction that I have ever known in discharging the duties of my calling. In a poor hut, with a stone to stand upon, and a three-legged stool for my desk, surrounded with thirty or forty of the smutty neighbors, I have felt such an unction from above, that my whole auditory have been melted into tears, whilst directed to ’ the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world;’ and I, weeping among them, could scarcely speak, or they hear, for interrupting sighs and sobs. Many a time did I then think, thus it was with the apostles of our Lord, when they- went from house to house among the poor heathen. In work like this I could live and die. Indeed, haa

I at that time been at liberty to settle, I should have preferred that situation to any in the kingdom, with which I was then acquainted.

“But the Lord placed me in a situation very different. He brought me to Birmingham; and here, amongst the novelties, cares, and duties of my station, I do not remember any wish for foreign service till, atler a residence of some months, I heard Dr. Coke preach at one of Mr. Wesley’s chapeb, from Psalm 68: 31, ‘Ethiopia shall soon stretch out her hands unto God.’ Then it was that, in Mr. Home’s phrase, ‘I felt a passion for missions.’ Then I felt an interest in the state of the heathen world far more deep and permanent than before, and seriously thought hoAV I could best promote their obtaining the knowledge of the crucified Jesus.

“As no way at that time was open, I cannot say that I thought of taking a part of the good work among the heathen abroad; but resolved that I woukl render them all the assistance I could at home. My mind was employed during the residue of that week in meditating on Psalm 67: 3, ‘Glorious things are spoken of thee, O city of God;’ and the next Sabbath morning I spoke from those words, on the promised iacrease of the church of God. I had observed that Glr monthly meetings for prayer had been better at 3nded than the other prayer meetings, from the tin. 3 that I first knew the people in Cannon street; but I thought a more general attention to them was desirable. I therefore preached on the Sabbath day evening preceding the next monthly prayer meeting, from Mat. 6: 10.: ‘Thy kingdom come;’ and urged with ardor and affection a universal union of the serious part of the congregation in this exercise. It rejoiced me to see three times as many the next night as usual; and for some time after that I had nearly equal cause for joy.

“As to my own part, I continued to preach much upon the promises of God respecting the conversion of the heathen nations; and by so doing, and always communicating to my people every piece of information I could obtain respecting the present state of missions, they soon imbibed the same spirit; and from that time to this, they have discovered so much concern for the more extensive spread of the gospel, that at our monthly prayer meetings, both stated and occasional, I should be as much surprised at the case of the heathen being omitted in any prayer, as at any omission of the name and merits of Jesus.

“Indeed, it has been a frequent means of enkindling my languid devotion in my private, domestic, and public engagements in prayer. When I have been barren in petitioning for myself, and other things, often have I been sweetly enlarged vphen I came to notice the situation of those who were perishing for lack of knowledge.

“Thus I went on praying and preaching, and conversing on the subject, till the time of brother

Carey’s ordination at Leicester, May 24, 1791. On the evening of that day, he read to the ministers a great part of his manuscript, since published, entitled ‘An hiquiry into the Obligations of Christians to use Means for the Conversion of the Heathen.^ This added fresh fuel to my zeal. But to pray and preach on the subject was all I could then think of doing. But when I heard of a proposed meeting at Kettering, October 2, 1792, for the express purpose of considering our duty in regard to the heathen, I could not resist my inclination for going; although at that time I was not much acquainted with the ministers of the Northamptonshire Association. There I got my judgment informed, and my heart increasingly interested. I returned home, resolved to lay myself out in the cause. The public steps I have taken are too well known to need repeating; but my mind became now inclined to go among the heathen myself Yet a consideration of my connection with the dear people of God in Birmingham, restrained my desires, and kept me from naming ray wishes to any body, (as I remember,) except to brother Carey. With him I was pretty free. We had an interesting conversation about it just before he left Europe. I shall never forget the manner of his saying, ‘Well, you will come after us.’ My heart said amen! and my eagerness for the work increased; though I never talked freely about it» except to my wife, and we then both thought that my relation to the church in Cannon-street, and usefulness there, forbad any such attempt.. However, I have made it a constant matter of prayer, often begging of God, as I did when first I was disposed for the work of the ministry, either that he would take away the desire, or open a door for its fulfillment; and the result has uniformly been, that the more spiritual I have been in the frame of ray mind, tho more love I have felt for God, and the more communion I have enjoyed with him, so much the more disposed have I been to eng-ag-e as a missionary among the heathen.

“Until the accounts came of our brethren’s entrance on the work in India, my connections in Europe pretty nearly balanced m.y desire for going abroad; and, though I felt quite devoted to the Lord’s will and work, yet I thought the scale rather preponderated on the side of my abiding in my present situation. But since our brethren’s letters have informed us that there are such prospects of usefulness in Hindostan, and that preachers are a thousand times more wanted than people to preach to, my heart has been more deeply affected than ever with their condition; and my desires for a participation of the toils and pleasures, crosses and comforts, of which they are the subjects, are advanced to an anxiety which nothing can remove, and time seems to increase.

“It has pleased God also lately to teach me, more than ever, that himself is the fountain of happiness; that likeness to him, friendship for him, and communion with him, form the basis of all true enjoyment; and that this can be attained as well in an eastern jungle, amongst Hindoos and Moors, as in the most polished part of Europe. The very disjposition which, blessed be my dear Redeemer! he has given me, to be any thing, do any thing, or endure any thing, so that his name might be glorified, — I say, the disposition itself is heaven begun below! I do daily feel a panting after more devotedness to his service, and I can never think of my suffering Lord without dissolving into love, — love which constrains me to glorify him with my body and spirit, which are his.

“I do often represent to myself all the possible hardships of a mission, arising from my own heart, the nature of the country, domestic connections, disappointment of my hopes, &c. And then I set over against them all, these two thoughts — ‘I am God’s servant, and God is my friend.’ In this I anticipate happiness in the midst of suffering, light in darkness, and life in death. Yea, I do not count my life dear unto myself, so that I may win some poor heathen unto Christ; and I am willing to be offered as a sacrifice on the service of the faith of the Gospel.

“Mr. Home justly observes, ‘That, in order to justify a man’s undertaking the work of a missionary, he should be qualified for it, disposed heartily to enter upon it, and free from such ties as exclude

SAMtEL PEARCE. 83

an engagement.’ As to the first, others must judge for me; but they must not be men who have an interest in keeping me at home. I shall rejoice in opportunities of attaining to an acquaintance with the ideas of judicious and impartial men in this matter, and with them I must leave it. A willingness to embark in this cause I do possess; and I can hardly persuade myself that God has for ten years inclined my heart to this work, without having any thing for me to do in it. But the third thing requires more consideration, and here alone I hesitate.”

He then goes on to state all the objections from this quarter, with his answers to them; leaving it with his brethren to decide, when they had heard the whole.

The committee, after the most serious and mature deliberation, though they were fully satisfied as to brother Pearce’s qualifications, and greatly approved of his spirit, yet were unanimously of opinion that he ought not to go; and that not merely on account of his connections at home, which might have been pleaded in the case of brother Carey, but on account of the mission itself, which required his assistance in the station which he already occupied.

In this opinion brother Carey himself, with singular disinterestedness of mind, afterwards concurred, and wrote to brother Pearce to the same effect.

On receiving the opinion of the committee, he immediately wrote to Mrs. Pearce as follows;” NorlkamptoTi, Sov. l3, 1734 ■’ My dear Sarah.

*’ I am disappointed, but not dismayed. I ever wish to make my Savior’s will my own. I am more satisfied than ever I expected I should be with a ne- ,^ative upon my earnest desires, because the business has been so conducted that I think (if by any means such an issue could be ensured) the mind of Christ has been obtained. My dear brethren here have treated. the affair with as much seriousness and affection as I could possibly desire, and I think more than so insignificant a worm could expect. After we had spent the former part of this day in fasting and prayer, with conversation on the subject till nearly two o’clock, brothers Potts, King, and I, retired. We prayed while the committee consuhed. The case seemed difficult, and 1 suppose they were nearly two hours in deciding it. At last, time forced them to a point; and their answer I enclose for ‘our satisfaction. Pray take care of it; it will serve for me to refer to when my mind may labor beneath a burden of guilt another day.

“I am, my dear Sarah’s own S. P.”

With reference to the same subject, he soon after wrote to his dear friend Mr. Carey as follows

“Blrmhghavi, March 27, 1795.
My v«ry dear Brother,

“Instead of a letter, you perhaps expected to have

SA>tUEL fKARCR. 85

seen the writer; and, had the will of God been so, he would by this time have been on his way to Mud-Tiabatty; but ’ it is not in man that walketh to direct his steps.’ Full of hope and expectation as I was, when I wrote you last, that I should be honored with a mission to the poor heathen, and be an instrument of establishing the empire of my dear Lord in India, I must submit now to ’ stand still, and see the salvation of God.’ Judging from the energy of my feelings, together with their long continuance and gffowing strength, I scarcely entertained a doubt but I should this year go to assist you in your evangelical undertaking, and under those circumstances I wrote to you. It was not long after, that some ot” our church, guessing from the strain of my preaching the state of my mind, questioned me upon the subject, and I frankly told them all my heart. On this, various meetings of consultation were held, and I suffered much, but fainted not; and, during th«t struggle, I felt, for the first time, the plenary import of that phrase, ‘The world is cruciiied unto me, pnd I unto the world.’ No domestic attachment, nor flattering prospects of reputation nor wealth, which, in unworthier moments have had too much ascendency over me, had now any influence. Love to Christ, and love to sinners — heathen sinners — reigned tri’ umphant in my soul; and I trust I did then feel what it was to be wholly devoted to God.

“At length, a full church-meeting was called, and

86 KEMoin OF

I was requested to be present. I went accordingly; and, having stated my views and feelings, I told them that though I should be glad of their opinion, yet I should not think myself bound to abide by their decision; because their affection for me would incline them to partiality in their judgment. I then withdrew.

•’ The issue of the meeting was unfavorable to my going; and, as I had expressed my design of finally submitting to the opinion of a meeting of disinterested ministers, the church appointed two of the deacons to represent them at this meeting, whenever it should be. In the mean time, I laid the case before three or four of our brethren, whose piety and experience I thought best enabled them to judge. I was both disappointed and grieved to find them all decidedly against me. The following is an extract from one beloved brother and father in the ministry.

“‘I really think you must not leave England. The heathen will get more by you here than they will abroad; and surely your post must not be given up. Who is there in your neighborhood to make a stand against false religion, my dear brother? I bless God for your zeal, but surely I think it will hurt the cause in various ways if you go. Churches will be afraid of the consequences of encouraging missions, if the most important stands at home are deserted by those that God has greatly prospered in them. You know brother Fullers infirmity.* If you run away we shall want a man too of activity, to keep alive the attention of the public to the cause, and give a great argument to them that are averse to it. I am pleased with the measures you propose to follow for determining the point, and trust God will direct you.’

“I copy out this, just as 1 received it, that you ma)^ better enter into my situation. The week after this we had a very solemn day of fasting and prayer, on the business at Northampton. Some brethren of the Society, and some who were not, attended. Brethren Ryland and Sutcliff were not able to be present; but their opinions, and those of some of the London ministers were known. On th!s occasion I read a narrative of my feelings for some time past, together with the views and motives which induced me to desire employment among the heathen, and such answers to objections arising from my connection in the family, the church, and the mission Society, as appeared to me satisfactory and full. I shall ever love my dear brethren the more, for the tenderness with which they treated me, and the solemn prayer they repeatedly put up to God for me. At last, I withdrew for them to decide: and whilst I was apart from them, and engaged in prayer for divine direc-

* Referring to a paral3’tic affection in his face, which came upon him in 1793, the effects of which were not removed in less than four or five years.

88 Mi::.: OIK oftion, 1 feit all anxit-ty forsake rne, and an entire resignation of will to the will of God, be it what it would, together with a satisfaction that so much praying breath would not be lost; but that He who hath promised to be found of all that seek him, would assuredly direct the hearts of my brethren to that which was most pleasing to himself, and most suitable to the interests of his kingdom in the world. Between two and three hours were they deliberating, after which time a paper was put into my hands, of which the following is a copy:

“‘The brethren at this meeting are fully satisfied of the fitness of brother P’s qualifications, and greatly approve of the disinterestedness of his motives, and the ardor of his mind. But another missionary not having been requested, and not being in our view immediately necessary, and brother P. occupying already a post very important to the prosperity of the mission itself, we are unanimously of opinion that, for the present, he should continue in the situation which he now occupies.’

“To this I was enabled cheerfully to reply, ’ the will of the Lord be done;’ and, receiving this answer as the voice of God, I have for the most part been easy since, though not without occasional pantings of spirit after the publishing of the Gospel to pagans.

What particularly weighed with me was an ap-SAMUEL Fi:ARCE. prehension of the necessity of the hinguage being known to more evangelical men than two, lest, in case they should die, or be by any means laid aside, the work should materially suffer through the long chasm occasioned by their seeking out proper successors, the time occupied by the voyage, and, after ail, their inability to speak to the natives in the Bengalee tongue. It appeared to me highly important that provision should be made for such an event, which at some time must take place; and 1 conceived that numerous advantages would arise from the mission being kept up by men who had been on the s;pot, were known to the natives, and already in the habit of instructing them in the way of righteousness. The preference of such persons to stran’gers was obvious; and, as no one olfered himself for the work, I thought it my duty to propose myself for the undertaking: whether the Lord will ever honor me so far, I know not; but the state of my mind still inclines me to say daily, ’ here am I, Lord, send me.’

“At present, however, I am better satisfied m stay in, because the Lord has raised up some others for the’work. We have all been diligently employed in inquiring after proper persons to assist you, but in vain, till a few days since, when two of the students at Bristohboth warm-hearted for Christ, offered themselves to brother Ryland, as willing to embark in the glorious undertaking. He has communicated their wishes to brother Fuller and me, &c. 1 suppose they will formally propose themselves to the Society at the next committee meeting. I wish we could have your mind on the business, for our direction; but we must guess at it, and act accordingly.

“I think I said in my last, that I had taken some pains, or rather pleasure, with the Bengalee language; but having no vocabulary, or dictionary, or book to read in the language, I was obliged to lay it aside. Could you furnish me with any helps, I should be very thankful; for I have not yet relinquished my hopes of telling the Hindoos how Jesus Christ came into the world to save sinners; or, if not, our brethren wish me to learn the language, as they say it is possible that, when you have translated the Bible, it may be found most convenient to print it in England; to do which, it is necessary to have the press under the inspection of some pious person who knows the language. This has its weight, though it just strikes me that probably it would be better (if types were procured) to look out for some good man who understands printing, and send him over to you, that the work may go on beneath your own care. This was done at Malabar, by the Danish mission; but no doubt you. will give the Society your free opinion on this matter when the translation is in a good degree of forwardness.

“And now, my dear brother, how shall I express the joy I f«el at the great goodness of our God unto you in a strangle land. Your letters were read at a committee meeting, the 18th instant, at Guilsborough. We glorified God on your behalf, and earnestly prayed that the same mercy and goodness might still attend you; at the same time affectionately commending you to the grace of his Holy Spirit, that he might prevent your secular concerns from diminishing that pious ardor with which your spirit glows for the advancement of the kingdom of Christ among men. How securely may Ave leave you in his hands! Yes, my dear brother, we do rejoice that, though oceans divide us from each other, Ave are equally beneath his protection who filleth all in all. Daily in our closets and in our families do we remember you before God: and, in the sanctuary, the tribes of God’s spiritual Israel wrestle hard for you Sabbath after Sabbath. Nor shall we pray in vain — God, even our own God, will bless you; his promise is on your side, and through him you shall do valiantly; never wnll he forsake his servants, nor leave them unassisted in their work; but your ’ confidence is strong;’ I rejoice that it is so, for ’ this is the victory that overcometh the world, even our faith;’ and he who hath been the author of that faith will, I doubt not, be the finisher of it too.

“The Periodical Accounts, No. I, have been of great help to the funds of the Society. We sent a copy to every church of our denomination: brother Fuller and I have had bandjiome collections after preaching upon the subject; and, from other places, unvisited, we have received many tokens of benevolence. I know it will give you pleasure to know that on Christmas- day, after preaching at Leicester on the subject, we received about thirty guineas towards the mission.

“We are thinking now about Africa. It will be the subject of our consideration next meeting; and I will take care that you shall have the earliest account of the result by the latter ships.

“Anxiously do we wait for your journal. Extracts from it will be put in No. II. You can hardly imagine how the public are interested in those accounts; and I hope that, now you see the nature of the plan, you will furnish the Society with such information, from time to time, as may preserve the respectability and celebrity of the work. But I must close; my time is quite exhausted, and I really have not enough left to read over what I have written in such haste, unless I omit a letter to brother T. Excuse blunders. Accept my warmest love, in which Mrs. P., brother King, and others (whose name is legion) join with your very, very affectionate, though unworthy brother, S. P.”

“P. S. Pray favor me with a long letter by the first conveyance, and any helps towards the Bengalee language which you can send me. Adieu.

“With this I shall send an octavo volume on the

Moravian Missions. I am compiling a piece which I desire may deserve to be called, The History and Present State of Protestant Christian Missions.”

The decision of the committee, though it rendered him much more reconciled to abide in his native country than he could have been without it, yet did not in the least abate his zeal for the object. As he could not promote it abroad, he seemed resolved to lay himself out more for it at home. In March, 1795, after a dangerous illness, he says, in a letter to Mr. Fuller, — “Through mercy I am almost in a state of convalescence. May my spared life be wholly devoted to the service of my dear Redeemer! I do not care where I am, whether in England or in India, so that I am employed as he would have me: but surely we need pray hard that God would send some more help to Hindostan. S. P.”

In January 1796, when he was first informed by the secretary of a young man (Mr. Fountain) being desirous of going, of the character that was given of him by our friend Mr. Savage, of London; and of a committee meeting being in contemplation, he wrote thus in answer:” Your letter, just arrived, put, I was going to say, another soul into my little body; at least it has added new life to the soul 1 have. I cannot be contented whh the thought of being absent from your proposed meeting. No, no; I must be there, (for my own sake I mean,) and try to sing with you ‘O’er the gloomy hills of darkness.’

“S. P.”

In August, the same year, having received a letter from India, be v.Tote to Mr. Fuller as follows:” Brother Carey speaks in such a manner of the effects of the Gospel in his neighborhood, as in my view promises a fair illustration of our Lord’s parable, when he compared the kingdom of heaven to a little leaven, hid in three measures of meal, which insinuated itself so effectually as to leaven the lump at last. Blessed be God, the leaven is already in the meal. The fermentation is begun; and my hopes were never half so strong as they are now, that the whole shall be effectually leavened. O that I

WERE THERE TO WITNESS THE DELIGHTFUL

process! But whither am I running? .... I

LONG TO WRITE YOU FROM HiNDOSTAN!

“S. P.”

On receiving other letters from India, in Januarlr, 1797, he thus writes: “Perhaps you are now rejoicing in spirit with me over fresh intelligence from Bengal. This moment have I concluded reading two letters from brother Thomas: one to the Society, and the other to myself. He speaks of others from brother Carey. I hope they are already in your possession. If this correspondence has produced the same effects on your heart as brother Thomas’s has on mine, you are filled with gladness

SAMUEt PEARCE. 95

and hope. I am grieved that I cannot convey them to you immediately. I long to witness the pleasure their contents will impart to all whose hearts are with us. O that I were accounted worthy of the Lord to preach the Gospel to the Booteas!”

Being detained from one of our missionary meetings, by preparing the periodical accounts for the press, he soon after wrote as follows: — “We shall now get out No. IV very soon. I hope it will go to the press in a very few days. Did you notice that the very day on which we invited all our friends to a day of prayer on behalf of the mission, (Dec. 28, 1796,) was the same in which brother Carey sent his best and most interesting accounts to the Society? 1 hope you had solemn and sweet seasons at Northam.pton. On many accounts I should have rejoiced to have been with you; yet I am satisfied that on the whole I was doing best at home. S. P.”

It has been already observed that, for a month preceding the decision of the committee, he resolved to devote one day in every week to secret prayer and fasting, and to keep a diary of the exercises of his mind during the whole of that period. This diary, which extends from October 8 to Nov. 7, 1794, was not shown to the committee at the time; but merely the preceding narrative. Since his death a few of them have perused it; and have been almost ready- to think that, if they had seen it before, they would

&6 MEMoin 01”

not have dared to oppose his going. But the I^rd hath taken him to himself! It no longer remains a question now, whether he shall labor in England or in India. A few passages, however, from this transcript of his heart, while contemplating a great and disinterested undertaking, will furnish a better idea of his character than could be given by any other hand; and with these we shall close the present chapter.

“Oct. 8, 1794. — Had some remarkable freedom and affection this morning, both in family and secret prayer. With many tears I dedicated myself, body and soul, to the service of Jesus; and earnestly implored full satisfaction respecting the path of duty. I feel a growing deadness to all earthly comforts; and derive my happiness immediately from God himself. IVIay I still endure, as Moses did, by seeing Him who is invisible.

*’ Oct. 10. — Enjoyed much freedom to-day in the family. While noticing in prayer the state of the millions of heathen who know not God, I felt the aggregate value of their immortal souls with peculiar energy.

“Afterwards was much struck, whilst, on my knees before God in secret, I read the fourth chapter of Micah. The ninth verse I fancied was very applicable to the church in Cannon-street; but what reason is there for such a cry about so insignificant a worm as I am? The third chapter of Habakkuk»

SAMUEL PtARCE, 97

too, well expresses that mixture of solemnity and confidence with which I contemplate the work of the mission.

“Whilst at the prayer-meeting to-night, I learned more of the meaning of some passages of Scripture than ever before. Suitable frames of soul are like good lights, in which a painting appears to its full advantage, I had often meditated on Phil. 3: 7, 8, and Gal. 6: 14; but never felt crucifixion to the world, and disesteem for all that it contains, as at that lime. All prospects of pecuniary independence, and growing reputation, with which in unworthier moments I had amused myself, were now chased from my mind; and the desire of living wholly to Christ swallowed up every other thought. Frowns and smiles, fullness and want, honor and reproach, were now equally indifferent; and, when 1 concluded the meeting, my whole soul felt, as it were, going after the lost sheep of Christ among the heathen.

“I do feel a growing satisfaction in the proposal of spending my whole life in something nobler than the locality of this island will admit. I long to raise my Master’s banner in climes where the sound of his fame has but scarcely reached. He has said, for my encouragement, that all nations shall flow unto it.

“The conduct and success of Stach, Boonish, and other Moravian missionaries in Greenland, both confound and stimulate me. O Lord, forgive my past iiidoieriCe in thy service, and help me to redeem the residue of my days for exertions more worthy a friend of mankind and a servant of God.

“Oct. 13. — Being taken up with visiters the former part of the day, I spent the after part in application to the Bengalee language, and found the difficulties I had apprehended vanish as fast as I encountered them. I read and prayed, prayed and read, and made no small advances. Blessed be God!

Oct. 15. — There are in Birmingham 50,000 in* habitants; and, exclusive of the vicinity, ten ministers who preach the fundamental truths of the Gos* pel. In Hindostan there are twice as many millions of inhabitants, and not so many Gospel preachers. Now, Jesus Christ has commanded his ministers to go into all the world, and preach the Gospel to every creature. Why should we be so disproportionate in our labors? Peculiar circumstances must not be urged against positive commands; I am therefore bound, if others do not go, to make the means more proportionate to the multitude.

“To-night, reading some letters from brother Carey, in which he speaks of his wife’s illness when she first came into the country, I endeavored to realize myself, not only with a sick, but a dead wife. The thought was like a cold dagger to my heart at first; but, on recollection, I considered the same God ruled in India as in Europe; and that he could either preserve her, or support me, as well there as here.

My business is only to be where he would have me. Other things I leave to him. O Lord, though with timidity, yet I hope not without satisfaction, I look every possible evil in the face, and say, ‘Thy will be done!’

“Oct. 17. — This is the first day I have set apart for extraordinary devotion in relation to my present e.Nercise of mind Rose earlier than usual, and began the day in prayer, that God would be with me m every part of it, and grant the end I have in view may be clearly ascertained — the knowledge of his

will.

“Considering the importance of the work before me, 1 began at the foundation of all religion, and reviewed the grounds on which I stood — the being of a God; the relation of mankind to him; with the divine inspiration of the Scriptures; and the review afforded me great satisfaction.* I also compared the different religions which claimed divine origin, and found little difficulty in determining which had most internal evidence of its divinity. I attentively read, and seriously considered Dr. Doddridge’s three ex-

There i? a wide difference between admiuing these principles in theory, and making use of them. David might have worn Saul’s accoutrements at a parade; but, in meetmg Goliath, he must go forth in an armor that had been tried. A mariner may sit in his cabin at his ease, while the ship is in harbor; but, ere he undertakes a voyage he must examine its soundness, and whether it will endure the storms which may overtake him.

ceilenl sermons on the Evidences of the Christian Religion, which was followed by such conviction that 1 had hardly patience to conclude the book before I fell on my knees before God, to bless him for such a religion, established on such a basis; and I have received more solid satisfaction this day upon the subject than ever I did before.

“I also considered, since the Gospel is true, since Christ is head of the church, and his will is the law of all his followers, what are the obligations of his servants in respect of the enlargement of his kingdom. I here referred to our Lord’s commission, which I could not but consider as universal in its object, and permanent in its obligations. I read brother Carey’s remarks upon it; and, as the command has never been repealed; as there are millions of beings in the world on whom the command may bo exercised; as I can produce no counter-revelation: and as I lie under no natural impossibilities of performing it; I concluded that I, as a servant of Christ, was bound by this law.

“I took the narrative of my experience, and statement of my views on this subject, in my hand, and, bowing down before God, I earnestly besought an impartial and enlightened spirit. I then perused that paper; and can now say that I have (allowing for my own fallibility) not one doubt upon the subject. I therefore resolved to close this solemn season with reading a portion of both Testaments, and earnest prayer to God for my family, my people, the heathen world, the society, and particularly for the success of our dear brethren Thomas and Carey and his blessing, presence, and grace, to be ever my guide and glory.

“Accordingly, I read the forty-ninth chapter of Isaiah; and with what sweetness! I never read a chapter in private with such feelings since I have been in the ministry. The 8th, 9th, 10th, 20th, and 21st verses, I thought remarkably suitable.

“Read also part of the epistle to the Ephesians,

and the first chapter to the Philippians. O, that for

me to live may be Christ alone! Blessed be my dear

Savior: in prayer I have had such fellowship with

i him as would warm me in Greenland, comfort me

I in New Zealand, and rejoice me in the valley of the

shadow of death!

“Oct. 18. — I dreamed that I saw one of the Christian Hindoos. O how I loved him! I long to realize my dream. How pleasant will it be to sit do”. n at the Lord’s table with our swarthy brethren, and hear Jesus preached in their language! Surely then will come to pass the saying that is written, ‘In Christ there is neither Jew nor Greek. Barbarian, Scythian, bond nor free — all are one in him.’

“Have been happy to-day in completing the manuscript of Periodical Accounts, No. 1. Anything relative to the salvation of the heathen brings a certain pleasure with it. I find I cannot pray, nor converse, nor read, nor study, nor preach with satisfaction, without reference to this subject,

“Oct. 20. — Was a little discouraged on reading Mr. Zeigenbald’s conference with the Malabarians, till I recollected, what ought to be ever present to my mind, in brother Carey’s words — ‘The work is God’s.’

“In the evening I found some difficulty with the language; but, considering how merchants and captains overcome this difficulty for the sake of wealth, I sat confounded before the Lord, that I should ever have indulged such a thought; and looking up to him, I set about it with cheerfulness, and found that I was making a sensible advance, although I can never apply till eleven o’clock at nighty on account of my other duties.*

“Preached from 2 Kings, 4: 26; * It is well.’ Was much enlarged both in thought and expression. While speaking of the satisfaction enjoyed by a tru-

* Night studies, often continued till f.vo or three o’clock in the morning, it is to be feared, were the first occasion of impairing Mr. Pearce’s health, and brought on that train of nervous sensations with which he was afterwards afflicted. Though not much accustomed to converse on the subject, he once acknowledged to a brother in the ministry, that owing to his enervated state, he sometimes dreaded the approach of public services to such a degree that he would rather have submitted to stripes than engage in them; and that while in the pulpit, he was frequently distressed with the apprehension of falling over it.

ly pious mind, when it feels itself, in all circumstances and times, in the hand of a good God, I fell that, were the universe destroyed, and I the only being in it besides God, he is fully adequate to mv complete happiness; and had I been in an African wood, surrounded with venomous serpents, devouring beasts, and savage men, in such a frame, I should be the subject of perfect peace and exalted joy. Yes,

0 my God, thou hast taught me, that thou aloxk art worthy of my confidence; and, with this senti-

1 ment fixed in my heart, I am free from all solicij tude about my temporal prospects or concerns. If

I thy presence be enjoyed, poverty shall be riches;

1 darkness, light; affliction, prosperity; reproach, my

I honor; and fatigue, my rest: and thou hast said,

, * My presence shall go with thee.’ Enough, Lord;

1 ask for nothing, nothing more.

But how sad the proofs of our depravity; and how! insecure the best frames we enjoy! Returning home,; a wicked expression from a person who passed mo J caught my ear, and recurred so often to my thoughts, 6 for some minutes, as to bring guilt upon my mind, i and overwhelm me with shame before God. But I J appealed to God for my hatred of all such things, i secretly confessed the sin of my heart, and again 1- ventured to the mercy-seat. On such occasions, how H precious a mediator is to the soul!

“Oct. 22. I did not in the former part of the day 1 feel my wonted ardor for the work of a missionary; but rather an inclination to consult flesh and blood, and look at the worst side of things. I did so: but, when on my knees before God in prayer about it, I first considered that my judgment was still equally satisfied, and my conscience so convinced that I durst not relinquish the work for a thousand worlds! And then I thought that this dull frame had not been without its use, as I was now fully convinced that my desire to go did not arise from any fluctuation of inconstant passions, but the settled convictions of my judgment. I therefore renewed my vows unto the Lord, that, let Vv’iiat difficulties soever be in the way, I would (provided the society approved) surmount them all. I felt a kind of unutterable satisfaction of mind in my resolution of leaving the decision in the hands of my brethren. May God rightly dispose their hearts! I have no doubt but he will.

“Oct. 23. — Have found a little time to apply to the Bengalee language. How pleasant is it to work for God! Love transforms thorns to roses, and makes pain itself a pleasure. I never sat down to any study with such peculiar and continued satisfaction. The thought of exalting the Redeemer in this language is a spur to my application paramount to every discouragement for want of a living tutor. I have passed this day with an abiding satisfaction respecting my present views.

“Oct. 24. — 0 for the enlightening, enlivening,

8AMULL PEAKCE. 105

and sanctifying presence of God :o-day! It is the second of those days of extraordinary devotion which I have set apart for seeking God in relation to the mission. How shall 1 spend it? I will devote the morning to prayer, reading, and meditation; and the afternoon to visiting the wretched, and relieving the needy. May God accept my services, guide me by his counsel, and employ me for his praise!

“Having besought the Lord that he would not suffer me to deceive myself in so important a matter as that which I had now retired to consider, and exercised some confidence that he would be the rewarder of those who diligently seek him, I read the 1 19th Psalm at the conclusion of my prayer, and flt and wondered at the congruity of so many of the verses to the breathings of my own heart. Often with holy admiration I paused, and read, and thought, and prayed over the verse again; especially verses 20,*3l, 59, 60, 112, 145, 146. ‘Mij soul breaketh for the longing that it hath unto thy judgments at all times. I have stuck to thy testimonies. O Lord, put me not to sho.me.’’

“Most of the morning I spent in seriously reading Mr. Home’s Letters on Missions, having first begged of the Lord to make the perusal profitable to my instruction in the path of dut^ To the interrogation, ‘AVhich of you will forsake all, deny himself, take up his cross, and, if God pleases, die for “his religion?’ I replied, spontaneously, Blessed be God I am willing! Lord help me to accomplish it!

“Closed this season with reading the 61st and C2d chapters of Isaiah, and prayer for the church of God at large, my own congregation, the heathen, the Society, brethren Thomas and Carey, all missionaries whom God has sent, of every denomination, my own case, my wife and family, and for assistance in my work.

“The after part of this day has been gloomy indeed. All the painful circumstances which can attend my going have met upon m.y heart, and formed a load almost insupportable. A number of things %vhich have been some time accumulating have united their pressure, and made me groan, being burthened. Whilst at a prayer meeting I looked round on my Christian friends, and said to myself, a few months more, and probably I shall leave you all! But in the deepest of my gloom I resolved, though faint, yet to pursue: not doubting but my Lord would give me strength equal to the day.

“I had scarcely formed this resolution before it occurred, my Lord and Master was a man of sorrows. Oppressed, and covered with blood, he cried, If it he possible, let this cup pass from me.’’ Yet in the depth of his agonies he added, ‘Thy will be done.^ This thought was to me what the sight of the cross was to Banyan’s pilgrim; I lost my burden — spent the remainder of the meeting in sweet communion with God.

“But, on coming homo, the sight of Mrs. P. replaced my load. She had for some time been much discouraged at the thoughts of going. I therefore felt reluctant to say any thing on this subject, thinking it would be )inpleasant to her; but, though I strove to conceal it, an involuntary sigh betrayed my uneasiness. She kindly inquired the cause. I avoided at first an explanation, till she, guessing tho reason, said to this effect: ’ 1 hope you will be no more uneasy on my account. For the last tu’o or three days 1 have been more comfortable than ever in the thought of going. I have considered the steps you are pursuing to know the mind of God, and 1 think you cannot take more proper ones. When you consult the ministers, you should represent your obstacles as strongly as your inducements; and then, if they advise your going, though the parting from my friends will be almost insupportable, yet I wiil

( make myself as happy as I can, and God can make

I me happy any where.’

“Should this little diary fall into the hands of a man having the soul of a missionary, circumstanced as I am, he will be the only man capable of sharing my peace, my joy, my gratitude, my rapture of soul. Thus at evening-tide it is light; thus God brings his

people through fire and through water into a Aveakhv place; thus those who ask, do receive, and their joy is full. ‘O, love the Lord ye his saints; there is no

-want to them that fear him!’

108 jvtEMom 0/

“Oct. 26. — Had much enlargement this mornm, whilst speaking on the nature, extent, and influence of divine love; what designs it formed; with what energy it acted; with what perseverance it pursued its object: what obstacles it surmounted; what difficulties it conquered: and what sweetness it imparted under the heaviest loads and severest trials. Almost through the day I enjoyed a very desirable frame; and, on coming home, my wife and I had some conversation on the subject of my going. She said, though in general the thought was painful, yet there were some seasons when she had no preference, but felt herself disposed to go or stay, as the Lord should direct.

“This day uTOte to brother Fuller, briefly stating my desires, requesting his advice, and proposing a meeting of the committee on the business. I feel great satisfaction arising from leaving the matter to the determination of my honored brethren, and to God through them.

“Oct. 27. — To-day I sent a packet to our brethren in India. I could not forbear relating to brother Carey all my feelings, views, p,nd expectations; but saying also, that I should be entirely governed by the opinion of the Society.

“Oct. 28. — Still panting to preach Jesus among my fellow sinners, to whom he is yet unknown-Wrote to Dr. Rogers, of Philadelphia, to-day, upon the subject, with freedom and warmth, a’nd inquired

W-helher, whilst the people of the United States were forming societies to encourage arts, liberty, and emigration, there could not a few be found among them who would form a society for the transmission of the word of life to the benighted heathens; or, in case that could not be, whether they might not strengthen our hands in Europe, by some benevolent proof of concurring with us in a design’ of which they speak with such approbation? With this I send Home’s Letters, I will follow both with my prayers; and who can tell?

“Oct. 29. — Looked over the code of Hindoo laws to-day. How much is there to admire in it, founded on the principles of justice! The most salutary regulations are adiopted in many circumstances. But what a pity that so much excellence should be debased by laws to establish or countenance idolatry, magic, prostitution, prayers for the dead, false witnessing, theft, and suicide! How perfect is the morality of the Gospel of Jesus: and how desirable that they should embrace it! Ought not means to be used? Can we assist them too soon? There is reason to think that their Shasters were penned about the beginning of the KoUe Jogue, which must be soon after the deluge; and are not 4000 years long enough for 100,000,000 of men to be under the empire of the devil?

*’ Oct. 31. — I am encouraged to enter upon t bisday (which I set apart for supplicating God) by a recollection of his promises to those who seek hitn. If the sacred word be true, the servants of God can never seek his face in vain; and, as I am conscious of my sincerity and earnest desire only to know his pleasure that I may perform it, I find a degree of confidence that I shall realize the fulfillment of the word on which he causeth me to hope.

“Began the day with solemn prayer for the assistance of the Holy Spirit in my present exercise, so that I might enjoy the spirit and power of prayer* and have my personal religion improved, as well as my public steps directed. In this duty I found a little quickening.

‘*I then read over the narrative of my experience and my journal. I find my views are still the same; but my heart is much more established than when I began to write.

“Was much struck in reading Paul’s words in 2 Cor. 1:17, when, after speaking of his purpose to travel for the preaching the Gospel, he saith, ‘Did I then use lightness when I was thus minded? Or the things that I purpose, do I purpose according to the ilesh, that with me there should be yea, yea, and nay, nay?’ The piety of the apostle in not purposing after the flesh, the seriousness of the spirit with which he formed his designs, and his steadfast adherence to them, were in my view worthy of the highest admiration and strictest imitation.

^’ Thinking that I might get’some assitance from David Brainercl’s experience, I read his life up to ‘.he time of his being appointed a missionary among ihc Indians. The exaked devotion of that dear man almost made me question mine. Yet at some seasons he speaks of sinking as well as rising. His singular piety excepted, his feelings, prayers, desires, comforts, hopes, and sorrows, are my own: and, if I could follow him in nothing else, I knew I had been enabled to say this with him — ‘I felt exceedingly calm, and quite resigned to God respecting my future improvement (or station) when and where he pleased. My faith lifted me abo-e the world, and removed all those mountains which I could not look over of late. I thought I wanted not the favor of man to lean upon; for I knew God’s favor was infinitely better, and that it was no matter where, or when, or how, Christ should send me, nor with what trials he should still exercise me, if I might be prepared for his work and will.’

“Read the second, third, fourth, fifth, and sixth chapters of the Second Epistle to the Corinthians. Felt a kind of placidity, but not much joy. On beginning the concluding prayer I had no strength to wrestle, nor power with God at all. I seemed as one desolate and forsaken. I prayed for myself, the Society, the missionaries, the converted Hindoos, the church in Cannon-street, my family, and ministry; but all was dullness, and I feared I had offended the Lord. I felt but little zeal for the mission, and was about to conclude with a lamentation over the hardness of my heart .... When on a sudden it pleased God to smite the rock with the rod of his Spirit, and immediately the waters began to flow! O what a heavenly, glorious, melting power was it! My eyes, almost closed with weeping, hardly suffer me to write. I feel it over again. O what a view of the love of a crucified Redeemer did I enjoy! The attractions of his cross, how powerful! I was as a giant refreshed with new wine, as to my animation; like Mary at the Master’s feet, weeping for tenderness of soul; like a little child, for submission to my heavenly Father’s will; and like Paul, for a victory over all self-love, creature-love, and fear of man, when these things stand in the way of my duty. The interest that Christ took in the redemption of the heathen, the situation of our brethren in Bengal, the worth of the soul, and the plain command of Jesus Christ, together with an irresistible drawing of soul, which far exceeded any thing I ever felt before, and is impossible to be described or conceived of by those who have never experienced it, — all compelled me to vow that I would, by his leave, serve him among the heathen. The Bible lying open before me, (upon my knees,) many passages caught my eye, and confirmed the purposes of my heart. If ever in my life I knew any thing of the influences of the Holy Spirit, I did at this time. I was swallowed up in God. Hunger, fullness, cold, heat,

riends, and enemies, all seemed nothing before God. 1 was in a new world. All was delightful; for Christ was all and in all. Many times I concluded prayer, but, when rising from my knees, communion with God was so desirable, that I was sweetly drawn to it again and again, till my animal strength was almost exhausted. Then I thought it would be pleasure to burn for God!

“And now, while I write, such a heavenly sweetness fills my soul, that no exterior circumstance can remove it; and I do uniformly feel, that the more I am thus, the more I pant for the service of my blessed Jesus among the heathen. Yes, my dear, my dying Lord, I am thine, thy servant; and, if I neglect the service of so good a master, I may well expect a guilty conscience in life, and a death awful as that of Judas or Spira!

“This evening I had a meeting with my friends, who almost unanimously opposed my going. Returned much dejected. Received a letter from brother Fuller, which, though he says he has many objections to my going, yet is so affectionately expressed as to yield me a gratification.

“Nov. 3. — This evening received a letter from brother Ryland, containing many objections; but contradiction itself is pleasant when it is the voice of judgment mingled with affection. I wish to remember that I may be mistaken, though I cannot say I am at present convinced that it is so, I am happy to find that brother Ryland approves of my referring it to the committee. I have much confidence in the judgment of my brethren, and hope I shall be perfectly satisfied with their advice. I do think, however, that, if they knew how earnestly I pant for the work, it would be impossible for them to withhold their ready acquiescence. O Lord, thou knowest my sincerity; and that if I go not to the work, it will not be owing to any reluctance on my part! If I stay in England, I fear I shall be a poor useless drone; or, if a sense of duty prompt me to activity, I doubt whether I shall ever know inward peace and joy again. O Lord, I am, thou knowest I am, oppressed; undertake for me!

“Nov. 5. — At times to-day I have been reconciled to the thought of staying, if my brethren should so advise; but at other times I seem to think I could not. I look at brother Carey’s portrait as it hangs in my study. I love him in the bowels of Jesus ‘Christ, and long to join his labors. Every look calls up a hundred thoughts, all of which inflame my desires to be a fellow-laborer with him in the work of the Lord. One thing, however, I have resolved upon; that, the Lord helping me, if I cannot go abroad, I will do all I can to serve the mission at home.

“Nov. 7. — This is the last day of peculiar devotion before the deciding meeting. May I have strength to wrestle with God to-day, for his wisdom to preside in the committee, and by faith to leave the issue to their determination.

“I iliil not enjoy much enlargement in prayer tow.iv. My mind seems at present incapable of those sensations of joy with which I have lately been much iiululoed, through its strugglings in relation to my -olng’or staying: yet I have been enabled to comi,iil the issue into the hands of God, as he may direct my brethren, hoping that their advice will be agreeable to his will.”’

The result of the committee-meeting has already been related; together with the state of his mind, as far as can be collected from his letters, for sometime after it. The termination of these tender and interesting exercises, and of all his other labors, in so speedy a removal from the present scene of action, may teach us not to draw any certain conclusion as to the designs of God concerning our future labors from the ardor or sincerity of our feelings. He may take it well that it was in our hearts to build him a house, though he should for wise reasons have determined not to gratify us. Let it suffice that, in matters of everlasting moment, he has engaged to perfect that which concerns us. In this he has condescended to bind himself, as by an oath, for our consolation. Here, therefore, we may safely consider our spiritual desires as indicative of his designs: but it is otherwise, in various instances, with regard to present duty.