Chapter II

Iut God had better things in store for Alice;

and in the early part of the year 1859 she

was brought to realise her soul’s true needs,

and her eyes were opened to see in the Lord

Jesus Christ a Saviour just suited to meet these needs.

The three or four letters which follow tell the story

of this blessed change: —

“Tswedelle, First day morning,
2d mo. 6th, 1859.

“My Darling Carrie, —

“I cannot go to meeting this morning, on account of neuralgia in my face, so I am going to write a letter to thee instead.

“There is one subject on which we have never used sufficient freedom in speaking, and that is the all-important one of religion; and I feel all the more strongly inclined to speak of it this morning, as I am convinced that we have been very much mistaken in our views. We have — thou and I, dear — been always building up for ourselves a religion of works. I never thought so, but now I feel sure of it. I am now sure that nothing but faith in the Lord Jesus Christ will save us. Faith is the first thing: it is all we can do for ourselves, and, indeed, we can’t do that unless we have help; but we can believe as fai as we are able, and He will assuredly perfect that faith and make us able to perform works that are acceptable to Him, because we believe in Him. “We must believe that Christ came into the world to save sinners, and that all that look to Him for salvation will surely be saved. It seems to me that there is so much in the Bible that cannot mean anything else. In the third chapter of the Gospel of St John, there is ample proof in the words of Christ himself. He there alludes to the serpent which Moses lifted up in the wilderness: and says, verse 15th, ‘Even so must the Son of man be lifted up; that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have eternal life.’ Of coarse this belief must be a spiritual one; but we know that God never requires more than we can give, and if we believe as far as we are able, and say, ‘I believe, Lord, help Thou mine unbelief,’ He will do it, and we have no right to doubt it; and if we continue steadfast in that faith, we shall ‘work the works of God; ’ but if we fail ir. this thing, how can we? For in John vi. 29, when they asked Him, ‘”What shall we do that we may work the works of God? ‘Jesus answered, ‘This is the work of God, that ye believe on Him whom He hath sent.’

“In many places Christ says such things as, ‘Whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple ’ but how can we do so unless we have a full belief in His power to save us entirely by His mercy? For unless we follow Him as our Saviour and our Lord, we do not fulfil this commandment. We must believe first, and then all the Scripture promises apply to us as disciples of the Lord Jesus; we have entered into the strait and narrow way, which the Friends so often tell us leadeth unto life. But let us remember that Christ is the gate, and that we must enter in through that gate, ’ for there is none other name under heaven given among men whereby we must be saved.’.

We ought to come to Him, offering all that we possess the power of giving, and promise to believe in Him as fully as our poor, weak, sinful hearts will let us, asking Him to give us a ’ new heart,’ and a full belief in Him, and we will as surely get it as we ask. This I believe to be all He requires us to do, and when we have done it we ought to feel perfectly sure that He will give us salvation, because He has said so, and we dare not doubt His word. Although we see no good in ourselves, we may be confident that ‘He is able to save to the uttermost all those who come unto God by Him.’ If we feel nothing, it only proves what we knew before, that we are wicked and need a Saviour. If we accept Him, we must say, with the old man —

1 1 am a poor sinner, and nothing at all,
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.’

“My own darling Carrie, all this I write to thee because I love thee so much, and want thee to be as happy in believing and casting all doubt and care and trouble on ’ the Lamb of God, who taketh away the sin of the world, as I am. Although I am only a weak infant in4;he faith, yet would I call upon thee to see the light and rejoice.

“Look in the Bible, dear, and see what it says there to sinners; do not mistake what is meant for believers as applicable for others.

...” I have been looking out all the texts bearing on the question, ‘What shall I do to be saved? ‘At first I did not feel quite willing to give up doing a little something for myself, but while copying out the texts above mentioned, I became convinced that this is the true gospel plan of salvation, and made up my mind to accept it as nearly like a little child as I could; and although I know that I am thoroughly wicked, yet I have a hope in Christ; and oh, it is such an inexpressible comfort! It is even possible that I may fall from this belief into the old doctrine of works, but it will be because I fall, not because the gospel truths are not just as clear in the Bible as day.

“It was hard for me to sit down and write this letter, but I hope I have been able to make thee understand a little what I believe. I know thee too well to think thou wilt attribute this to a desire to teach; no indeed, only I do so long for thee to see and accept this wonderful gospel plan of salvation. It is all through the Bible; every chapter, if we did but understand it aright, testifies to the truth.

“That our Father in heaven may make thee to see it clearly, is the earnest prayer of

“Thy loving sister,

“Alice.”

This letter was Alice’s first confession of Christ. She had learned to know Him as her Saviour in the privacy of her own chamber, and for some days her newly-found faith and joy in Him were kept to herself. She was suffering at the time from a severe attack of neuralgia, but as soon as she was able she wrote to her sister as given above.

She said afterward, “I cannot describe the feeling of peaceful rest with which I lay down to sleep after I had written that letter. I felt so light-hearted and happy, for now I had confessed my Saviour, and I thought if I should die suddenly in the night they would know that I was trusting only in Christ, and not in any efforts of my own, for salvation.”

Her faith was also much strengthened by this confession, and she found daily more “peace and joy in believing.” At first she could not wait to dress in the morning before opening her Bible at the third chapter of John, to assure herself that those precious promises were still there; and the more she examined the foundation of her faith and hope in the Scriptures, the more was the conviction brought home to her heart by the Spirit, that she was building on the Rock that can never be moved.

The letters which Alice soon after wrote to her eldest sister on this subject have been omitted, to avoid repetition, as she did not explain herself so fully in them, knowing that Annie would immediately understand her change of views, and rejoice with her that she had found the Saviour.

In the latter part of the third month Alice returned with her sister Carrie to Millville, her heart full of prayer that they who had always been so united in all other things might also be made one in Christ Jesus. During this visit her prayers were wonderfully answered, and dear Alice had the unspeakable joy of seeing her beloved sister brought into the exercise of like precious faith with herself.

The latter some time afterward wrote concerning it :. “It was but a month or two after Alice’s conversion that I too became a child of God; then, indeed, we were doubly united. Alice said that her one desire and prayer was, that I also might realise the glorious truth which had made her so inexpressibly happy. And when the light did burst in upon my soul, as we were sitting together reading Malan’s 1 True Cross,’ she could hardly believe that the Lord had answered her prayers so soon. The remaining few weeks of her visit were indeed a source of strengthening and establishing to me. We had but one subject of conversation — Jesus and His work for sinners, and of this we never tired. There was but one book that we cared to read, and that was our constant companion, whether riding or boating. How much we found to talk about in its inspired pages, and how confirming was every verse to our new faith!”

Not only to her sisters did she write of the great change she had experienced. She wished all her friends to know that she had received the forgiveness of her sins through her Saviour, and to those to whom she had no opportunity of speaking she wrote letters, hoping that the story of her experience might incline their hearts to “come, taste, and see that the Lord is good.”

The two or three next letters, though of later date than those which follow, are inserted here, as they speak more particularly of her conversion.

To A. U. C.

“TSWEDELLE, Jum II, 1859.

“My Dear A-

“It has been a long time since I have heard from thee; I wonder why?...

“Dost thou know, dear, to-day is my birthday? And in coming to the close of this, my twentieth year, I have been thinking that I have wronged thee, and, therefore, come now to ask pardon, and to do all I can to make up for it.

“I have often heard thee say that when intimate friends are separated, their letters are supposed to put each in possession of all the principal interests, changes, and events in the life of the other; and it is because I have left thee ignorant so long of the greatest change and most important event of my life that I feel condemned.

“Dost thou remember, last September, getting a letter from me, in which I told thee I was feeling great dissatisfaction with my past life, and that I did not know what I should do to make it better, and finished by hoping that, in a time when God seemed in an especial manner to be pouring out His Spirit upon our land, He would look down in mercy upon me?

“And indeed He has been most merciful in bringing me in by the only true door to the sheepfold, Jesus Christ our Lord. The fact was, that I had always been and was then striving to walk in the 1 narrow way ’ before going in at the ’ strait gate, I sadly mixed the law and the gospel; I thought we had at least to prove our earnest desire to become the children of God before we could be accepted as such; and as I did not see in myself this earnest striving, I did not think I could be accepted.

“I did not see, as M beautifully expresses it, that

it is the law that says, ‘This do, and thou shalt live,’ and the gospel that says, ‘Live, and then thou shalt do.’ It is so glorious to think that He first makes us His children, and then gives us the will and the strength to serve Him to think that He accepts us freely just as sinners; that He will wash us clean in His blood, and that He will be made unto us ‘wisdom and righteousness, sanctification and redemption,’ if we will only give up the idea of saving ourselves, and honour God by believing what He says, and be willing to receive as such ’ the gift of God, which is eternal life.’ This certainly would not be man’s way of saving sinners, but I am convinced that it is God’s way.

“Even as short a time ago as the first of last January, I was in darkness as to the truths of the Bible. I had silenced all my feelings of dissatisfaction by making up my mind to be more earnest in prayer and good works, and trust more to the guidance of the Holy Spirit to lead me into the paths of righteousness. About this time I went to spend the night with H. W. S. While there she explained the simple gospel of Christ to me; and I came home the next day with a list in my pocket of the texts in the Bible answering the question, ‘What shall I do to be saved? ’ and with a doubt in my heart whether my answer was the true one, which was, ‘Work the works of righteousness, by the aid of the Holy Spirit, which aid thou never couldst have had if Christ had not died; therefore, Christ is the Saviour, inasmuch as without His aid thou never couldst work them and enter heaven/

“I took the Bible and looked for the texts; I went as far as the third chapter of John, 14th, 15th, and 1 6th verses, and I stopped. I thought of the scene in the wilderness, when the brazen serpent was raised in the camp of the Israelites, and God declared, by the mouth of His servant, that notwithstanding the people were receiving the just reward of their wickedness, if they would but look at the serpent which He had set up, they should be healed. The act of looking I knew was simply an act of faith, for if they had not believed that He could do what He said He would, they would not have looked; for how utterly unreasonable it must have seemed to them to be told that just casting their eyes upon one object more than another would heal their deadly wounds. And yet we know that as many as looked lived; and the Scriptures say, ‘Even so must the Son of man be lifted up, that whosoever believeth on Him should not perish, but have eternal life.’

“I had found the answer to the question, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ; ’ and the way to believe, even as the Israelites believed God when they looked at the serpent; and I thought, Cannot I now take God at His word, and believe that Christ died for me, and that, therefore, I shall not perish, but have everlasting life, as He says so? The words, ‘I believe, Lord, help Thou mine unbelief,’ sprang from my heart. Could any really believe that Christ died for them, Himself bore the penalty for their sins, and, therefore, they should be saved, without experiencing a love and gratitude toward that Saviour to spring up in their heart, which would give a far stronger and deeper motive for working in His service than any other?

“I have many times since then been tempted to doubt, but I always go to the Bible, and come away surer than ever that the atonement of Christ is a finished work, perfect and entire, and that He is able to save me without my doing a single thing to merit it. Oh! the peace of this resting like a little child upon such a glorious Saviour; to know that He will be our sanctification as well as our redemption; will not only take us into His service, but will make us fit for that service; will not only give us work to do, but strength to do it!

“How beautifully He has shown us the position of the Christian, in the parable of the vine and the branches. How utterly impossible it would be for a branch to bring forth fruit of itself is evident to all; and it is just as unreasonable to expect a man to bring forth works which would be acceptable in the sight of God until he is joined by faith to Christ, who is the only true vine, and can alone give the power.

“It is such a very common thing for persons to impress the necessity of a holy life, and a greater willingness to walk in the narrow way, upon young people who are not yet within the fold, instead of pointing them to Christ, ‘the Way, the Truth, and the Life.’ I have received a great deal of advice which would do for the Christian, but little that was calculated to make me think whether I was one or not.

“I have, dear A, spoken very freely to thee, as

I felt I could do no less; and, indeed, my heart prompted me to do so some time ago, but I hoped to see thee so soon, and it is so much easier to make one’s self understood by talking than writing when one’s heart is full.

“Do not hesitate, darling, to sit down and write all thou hast in thy heart to say to me. Do let me know how thou feels and thinks. I love thee so much, I long for thy sympathy and encouragement. But if it be that I have startled thee, if thou art an unbeliever in what some people call sudden conversions, or if thou art yet inclined to think that we are justified equally by works and by faith, as some one says, and, therefore, we must not rejoice in the light of a Redeemer’s love until we have both; under any circumstances do not, pray do not, let my frankness make thee feel reserved; and do not, darling, expect to find me entirely changed in outward action, as thou must remember I am only a ’ babe in Christ,’ and all unused to the ways of godliness. I should, indeed, despair of ever living a life acceptable in the sight of God, but that I trust that Christ will subdue this heart entirely unto Himself, for He is able to do all things. Oh, it is true that the weakest believer could say, if he would, with the Apostle, ‘I can do all things through Christ, which strengtheneth me.’

“Carrie told me, I think, that she wrote thee explaining the change in her views. O A! I cannot begin to express the happiness I felt at seeing her come, with simple, childlike faith, to the feet of Jesus, some two months after I laid my weary load of sin there. And oh, may the habitual attitude of our souls be to lie at the foot of the cross, utterly helpless in ourselves, but trusting in Him for everything. May we always continue in the spirit of the little hymn that says —

“I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all,
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all.’”

To M. M. J.

A FRIEND AT BOARDING-SCHOOL.

“June 29, 1859.

...” I sympathise very much with your dread

of the examination; but, dear M, there is one

thought that comes to me very often, that if we are doing or have done our duty as God would have us do it, if we can feel that we have done it to please Him, and that He is pleased with us, what difference, comparatively, does it make what people think of us? I know it is very pleasant to have our undertakings succeed in the eyes of the world; but I am convinced that we ought to have but one motive for everything we do, even our smallest everyday duties, that of serving our Lord and Master; and then you know if we succeed in that great object, the approbation of the world will be as nothing. If the Lord is our friend, all our disappointments and sorrows will work together for our good, for He will take care of His children.

“Oh, the great privilege of knowing that you are a child of God! And, indeed, I think it is the duty of all to know whether they are or not. How could a man fight, if placed in a battlefield, without knowing to which army he belonged?...

“Dear M, I have spoken more at length on this subject, because it is one which is very near my heart. You will doubtless be surprised when I tell you that I have come to see the great truths of the Bible very differently within the last year.

“The difference is this j before I looked at them with my mind, now I look at them with my heart. Now I know that Jesus died for vie. I know it because I believe what the Bible says, and it says He died for all sinners, paid the full price, took our sins upon Himself, and that He will give the gift of eternal life to any who will come to Him, and honour Him by believing that He is able and willing to do what He has said He will.

“Oh, the gospel of Jesus Christ is indeed ‘good news’ to sinners. It is strange how many years I listened to these truths, and never understood them; for while I acknowledged Jesus Christ as the Saviour, in my heart I only looked upon Him as a helper. I thought that by His death on the cross He had removed the natural curse which rested upon all the seed of Adam, and had thus opened and procured the means of obtaining a salvation to which otherwise I should never have had access. I thought thus that my salvation would be my own work, one which, however, I did not expect to do without help from on high.

“I often felt sad for I had many misgivings as to whether the work was progressing, and whether I had done enough, should I be suddenly called away. If I ever saw something of the truth when reading such passages as, ‘Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shaft be saved,’ and began to put my trust in Him, I would surely meet such a passage as ‘Faith without works is dead,’ and in my blindness I did not see that it was my faith that was weak, therefore the works were not visible in me, and instead of striving after more faith, I went about to establish myself in my own righteousness, supposing that if I saw in myself the good works, I should be sure I had the faith, and so came round to the same old point in darkness.

“”Imagine, then, my feelings when my eyes were opened to see that the Saviour’s atonement is a finished work. ... It really seems almost too good news to be true, that Christ does all, and that we have only to honour Him by believing that He is able to save to the uttermost all those who come unto God by Him. He even gives us a reason, which we can understand, for this, ‘It is not of works, lest any man should boast’ What a very different motive for working does it give to one who has accepted this perfect salvation, even that of glorifying the God who so loved us, that He gave His only-begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

“Oh, the wonderful riches of the goodness and mercy of God! Is it any wonder, dear friend, that I should be quite overwhelmed that one, so altogether sinful as I know myself to be, should be allowed to see, even dimly, these glorious truths of the gospel?...

“Dear M, I have been trying to be a Christian,

as you know, for these many years; but I wanted to do it partly myself, and I would not submit myself wholly to Christ as a little child, just to be saved out of pufe mercy, and consequently was not happy; but since I have been brought to see Jesus as ’ the Way, the Truth, and the Life,’ and have rested entirely on Him, J have indeed been happy. I have spoken thus frankly to you, as I feel that I must tell all those I love how mistaken I have always been, and what a glorious Saviour I have found.”

To N. O.

“TSWEDELLE, 1 859.

“My Dear N,

“I received your letter this morning, and I cannot tell you how I thank you for your kind interest, and warm invitation to visit you. I should enjoy doing so extremely, particularly as I should so appreciate your sympathy and counsel; we should have nice times quietly reading and talking about our dear Lord Jesus, and how to live so as to glorify Him. Indeed I would love to come, but I have not thought of leaving home at all this summer, excepting for a short visit to Carrie....

“You ask me to tell you all about myself, dear

N; the Lord has promised to carry the lambs in

His bosom, and indeed I have only a story of the mercy of the Lord to tell. He has brought another poor sinner out of the drear wilderness darkness into the glorious light of the Redeemer’s love. A poor little weak babe in Christ am I, but I can do nothing but rejoice — rejoice that I have found so glorious a Saviour. Even the fear that I shall dishonour Him by not living a life to His glory, is swallowed up in the thought that He will not only ’ save from wrath, but make me pure.’

“It is indeed perfect rest to trust Him for everything j and yet it is a struggle, a fight of faith — a fight to keep our faith, and not begin trusting in our own strength again.”

“Millville, April 14, 1859.

“My Darling Sister Annie, —

...” My heart overflows with love and gratitude to our Heavenly Father when I think of the ‘good news ’ in which we all three now rejoice. What a wonderful blessing it is that we can sympathise in this the greatest joy one can know, the knowledge of Jesus Christ and Him crucified. O Annie! I long unspeakably to talk all these things over with thee.

“To think that I have so long resisted the truth and dishonoured my Saviour, by not being willing to give up the idea of helping to save myself, and that now I should be allowed to feel such comfort in believing, really seems wonderful. I feel as though I ought to be overwhelmed with my own sinfulness; but when I look at my glorious Redeemer it is impossible, for if my sins are so great, it only makes it more wonderful that He is able and willing to save me. He is all things, and I am nothing — nothing but an empty shell, which if filled with Christ will be accepted. How blessed to be such a shell! Oh, for more entire submission and more grace, that we may so live as to honour Him and glorify His name!

“It seems so strange that I could have listened so often to the truth, and never understood it. I look back now to some of those conversations we — thou and I-^-used to have, and see so clearly that many things thou used to say are the very same that come over me now with such force. And it is just so in reading the Bible: chapters that I was perfectlyfamiliar with, now burst on me with such new meaning, and are so glorious!

“I used to wonder how any one could really want to talk to people — that is, people who cared nothing about it — on the subject of religion; but now it seems as if I long to make known the ’ glad tidings to every one, as I feel so sure that it would make them very happy if they only would listen to it...

“I do hope I shall not bring dishonour on the cause, I am so very weak and sinful, and sometimes so cold; but I stand upon the Rock of Ages....

“Thou asks us to pray for thee, and I can assure thee it is a great pleasure to do so, for what a blessing it is to be able to go to God, really as our Father, to ask good things for a sister in Christ. Only a few months ago this sentence would have appeared without meaning, but now I thank God for it — it is different.

“This is the first time I have been here since little Alice’s birth; she is now three months old, and I can assure thee is a great pet with her auntie. I am writing now in the nursery, and have had to stop every two minutes to talk to the baby, who has been sitting in her nurse’s arms saying, ‘Goo, goo,’ and laughing so cunningly that she wras really irresistible. I do not know that she is very pretty, but if she were a little fairy we could not make more fuss over her, for we think her about perfect.”

A memoir of dear Alice would be incctnplete without mentioning what joy it gave her that three very dear cousins came to the experimental knowledge of the Saviour about the same time with herself. There were then, with Alice’s two sisters, a little band of six cousins, to all of whom, except her eldest sister, who, as has been mentioned, had been a Christian four years, the life of faith in Christ was a new joy. The first time these cousins met together after the separation caused by the marriage and removal of some, it was to rejoice in the stronger bond in which they were now united. This meeting took place at Alice’s uncle’s, the family home of her three cousins. Here they sought a little room in a retired part of the house, and sitting down together they communed upon their newly-found joy.

To the eldest of these cousins, Alice, though herself the youngest, was united by an uncommon love. She had been the recipient of all her doubts and conflicts before she found the Saviour, and to her, so far as human instrumentalities were concerned, Alice owed the knowledge of the truth which had set her free, as will be seen by reference to a letter dated “June 11, 1859.” The tie which had before bound them was thus made doubly strong by their union in Christ, and Alice ever after gave her the sweet name of “sister cousin.”

“TSWEDELLE, 4th mo. 22, 1S59.

“My Dear Carrie, —

... “The way seems to open for me to go to New York yearly meeting, and I do not know but it may be best; I only want to do my duty, and in this, as well as every other action of my life, I must, as Paul says, ’ do all to the glory of God.’” I have been reading the third, fourth, and fifth chapters of Romans, and they never seemed half so beautiful, and clear, and so comforting. I felt so cold this morning, and after breakfast spoke impatiently

to, and was almost upset for the whole day;

but I thought of the little hymn: —

‘I am a poor sinner, and nothing at all,
But Jesus Christ is my all and in all; ’

and then I prayed and read some in that precious Bible, and now I feel that I am one of Christ’s children, though a very weak one; however, we know that feeling, though a great blessing, is not the one essential thing....

“Do not, darling, let thy coldness make thee feel discouraged, but struggle against temptations, and never forget that it is the Lord who must make thee fit for His own service; so be more earnest in prayer for a fervent spirit to be always zealous in His cause. Remember where James says, ‘Count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not, and it shall be given him.’”

Reference is made in the above letter to an impatient word spoken. After dear Alice’s conversion, as well as before, she found impatience to be her greatest temptation. Naturally very quick in taking in an idea as well as putting it into execution, and being also exceedingly thoughtful of the comfort of others, she often felt tried at those who were slower or less thoughtful than herself. This was somewhat owing to physical causes. She was frequently a great sufferer from neuralgic headaches, and would sometimes make the exertion to go down to breakfast, when a heavy step, or loud tone of voice, or the hasty shutting of a door, grated so harshly on her nerves, as to make it seem almost impossible to withhold some expression of impatience or irritability of feeling. She knew that as a Christian, having the power of a new life, she should be lifted above these things. She felt it her privilege to have such a well of quiet within as would enable her to say, “None of these things move me.” This temptation was made an especial subject of prayer, and she gained so complete a victory over any outward expression of it, that few imagined she had such feelings to contend with.

The little piece entitled “The Quiet Mind,” which will be found at the end of this volume, in connection with a few of Alice’s favourite hymns, was so expressive of her thoughts and desires that she learned it by heart, and so often repeated it, that to some of her intimate friends it is very closely connected with their recollections of her. Adelaide Newton’s hymn, “All, all is known to Thee,” was also often the language of her heart. Upon one occasion she repeated the following verse to her sister: —

“When in the morning unrefreshed I wake,
Or in the night but little sleep I take,
This brief appeal submissively I make — All, all is known to Thee;”

remarking, “No one but an invalid could have written that;” and then, referring to the preceding verse, “The little everyday noises, discussions, &c., which are scarcely noticed by one in health, become to the invalid nothing less than ’ turmoil and din.’”

But although dear Alice was always delicate and often a great sufferer, yet when she was in her usual health she was so full of spirits and energy, always so ready to exert all the strength she had for others, and her manner was so entirely free from that languor which is common to invalids, that her friends could scarcely help forgetting that she was less strong than themselves.

Extracts from Letters to her Sister Carrie.

“April 23, 1859.

... “There are several things I want to say to thee, dear; one is not to feel any fear about your little meetings: just leave it all to the Lord, and pray for His strength to enable thee to do thy duty concerning them. Is it not written, ‘Casting all your care upon Him, for He careth for you? ‘Just think, after such an invitation, that we should be tempted to carry our own load of care instead of trusting it to One who we know is worthy of trust, and able to do all things. How far we are from realising what it would be to render our whole body, soul, and spirit to the service of Christ, whose we are; this is what we ought to aim at — entire consecration; and how very much that means!...

Dear, dear Carrie, do not be discouraged; the Lord is so merciful, He will not let His own children go wrong if they only have faith in Him, that when they have asked Him to keep them from falling, that

He will. May our Lord bless us both, darling, and make us do right;

1 Lord, I am blind, be thou my sight;
Lord, I am weak, be thou my might i ‘”

“April 1859, Third day afternoon.... “Yesterday I was very busy all the morning, excepting my own precious hour for devotion. In the afternoon I drove to see J. M. She is coming to spend to-night with me. Oh, how I do pray the Lord to bless this visit, and teach me just what to say! I feel very weak, but ’ the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.’ He has been wonderfully good to me.”

11 May 2, 1S59. “We went to meeting yesterday morning as usual.... I had a most delightful meeting, realising what a glorious thing it is to be a disciple of such a great and merciful Saviour. I could not help saying over to myself the prophecy concerning Him in Isaiah xlii., ‘A bruised reed shall He not break, and the smoking flax shall He not quench.’”

lk |f«%

^^^^fc

jSfeSi

•”^:’isM^?

^g^ffl