Reflections on the Preceding Self-Dedication

Practical and consolatory reflections on the preceding self’dedication or covenant with God.

I HAVE this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God, to walk in his ways; thereby to fortify my resolutions, that I and my house (and all that

I can persuade to be of my mmd) will serve the Lord.^’ I intend, desire, and hope, never wilfully to violate the faith which I have now plighted in the presence of God; but to continue “steadfast, unmoveable, always abounding in the work of the Lord,” &c.

l%ould I undertake any new employment, or enter into any new condition, or change the place of my abode, where I might see more of God’s dishonour, and meet with more and stronger temptations to sin, and be called to the performance of more difficult duties, greater watchfulness, and self-denial, &c., 1 would hope thereby to engage the presence of God with me, and his blessing on all my afiairs (on which depends the success of all that I undertake); and would hope the better to preserve my integrity, not only this year, but in all the remaining portion of my time, by the abiding sense of my covenant with God, thus seriously renewed.

This is the method I have been often advised to, for peace of conscience, under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual state; to put the matter out of doubt, by again accepting the offered mercy and grace of the gospel, and heartily consenting to the new covenant; giving up myself to God in Christ, to be ruled and saved by him. Blessed be God, I have now done so. Lord, say Amen to thy part of the covenant, that thou art and wilt be my God; as I desireunfeignedly to do to mine, that I will be thy servant.

But, because articles are sooner consented to than made good, though I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn act and deed, but firmly to adr here to it, as long as I live, that, having sworn, I will endeavour to perform it, that this shall be my everlasting choice, never to be recanted or altered; yet, considering the sad instances of my former weakness, and the vigilance and subtle malice of my great adversary, I again implore the succour of divine grace, to keep it for ever in the purpose of my heart, that it may be, as the laws of the Modes and Persians, never to be reversed. I have given up my name to be thine: “O put thy fear into my heart, that I may never depart from thee!’’ Imprint thy laws upon my heart, that my obedience may be uniform and universal, unwavering and perpetual; suitable to so honourable and near a relation to thee! I am sensible I want wisdom and strength to that purpose, but thou hast bid me ask it of thee, “who givest liberally to all,” without desert, and ^^upbraidest not “with present unworthiness or former faults. “O lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from evil.” Stand by and strengthen me in the hour of trial, lest I forget my vows, and deny thee. O that my soul may never draw back, lest thine have no pleasure in me! I can serve no better master: O let mine ears be bored to the door of thine house, as the token and assurance of my being thy servant unto death! I know it is my duty, I am sensible it is my privilege and honour; I am convinced that it is my interest and felicity; my soul, my life, my present and everlasting welfare, and all| depend upon it, that thou shouldest be my God for ever. O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of grace, that I may walk, and act, as having hoartily consented he should be so; and “direct my heart into thy love, and the faithful keeping of thy conimand« ments;” that, when so many professors make shipwreck of faith and a good conscience, and discredit the religion of my Lord, by their shameful falls, thou mayest make me to stand, and improve the warning of their examples to walk humbly; and, while I stand, to take heed lest I fall.”

Having thus surrendered myself to Ood, what it there, O my soul I that is ever like to prevail with me to go back, and revolt from him? Is the gratification of a lust, the securing of an estate, compliance with a friend, the pleasing of a superior, living in ease, and honour, and outward prosperity, for a little while, the saving my body from suffering, or my life from violence, or whatsoever else be the motive of my unfaithfulness to God, and apostacy from him; is any, is all, of these any way considerable, compared with the blessedness of having God to be my God? For thereby I have the forgiveness of all my sins, and the assurance of his favour; the certainty of present protection and provision; all creatures reconciled to me, and to be employed for my good, as the friend of God; all things to work together for my advantage, and, by the evidence of my adoption, a well-grounded hope of eternal life. “God, as my sun and shield, will give grace and glory, and withhold no good thing.” So unspeakably comprehensive are the privileges of so near a relation to God in Christ. O happy are the people who are in such a case! Blessed are the persons whose God is the Lord!”

Do I resolve to abide by my choice, and trust in Christ for persevering grace? And shall I not, ought I not, to take comfort in it? Shall I not give Ood the glory of his infinite goodness, by adhering to himy and rejoicing in him, notwithstanding all temptations to the contrary? Casting all my care upon him, and quieting myself in the all-sufficiency of my heavenly Father, having a God in covenant, who will supply all my wants, and take care of me, as his own! Shall I not give him the glory of his truth and power, by trusting him in every condition? By confidence in his promise, dependence on his word, faithfulness to his interest, and constancy in his service to the end? Is it not a most encouraging thought, that God doth never abandon any who do not first forsake him? And, after such strict engagements as I have laid upon myself, shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own hand? Shall^I be off and on, say and unsay, promise and retract? And, after I have proceeded thus far, shall I forsake the fountain of living waters, and turn again to broken cisterns?

After I have examined myself, considered my ways, confessed my sins, and, upon serious deliberation, am come to a resolve, and, in pursuance of it, have devoted myself with such solemnity to be the Lord’s, shall I ever, after this, ‘^ forsake him and my own mercies, and lightly esteem the rock of my salvation?” Now I have learned, in some measure trhat sin is, by the sorrows and anguish of a hearty repentance; now I have discovered so much of the snares and devices of Satan, whereby I have formerly been betrayed; now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerful influence and infection of bad company; the treachery of fleshly lusts; the bewitching temptations of the world; and have tasted a little, by my own experiencey of the pleasantness of wisdom’s paths; the peace and satisfaction of devotedness to God, by the present rewards of a calm conscience, the communications of divine grace, and the encouragemen| of a holy hope, &c. and am persuaded of the stability of his word, and the certainty of eternal life to all who continue in well-doing. Shall I, after all this, ever break with God again? Shall I ever cancel this engagement; violate this my vow; and falsify 80 many repeated promises and resolutions?

Oh that his power may rest upon me! and his grace work in me, both to will and to do! ^’ that this God may be my God for ever, and my guide unto death!” Let me never re-assume this gift and sur- render of myself, or defraud God of his right and property. His I am, and him I will serve, living wholly to him; using all I have for him; being willing he should do what he list with his own, and consequently dispose of me, and of all that any way belongs to mC) as shall seem good in his eyes. I am thine, O Lord: save me. Command me my work, appoint me my duty, direct my station, order my condition. Let me be thine, though employed in the meanest service, and the most laborious self-denying work. Though I should be but a doorkeeper in thine house, a hewer of wood, or a drawer of water; though I must pinch in the. flesh, and swim against the tide, and renounce what before I valued; yet “this God shall be my God for ever.”

By these means, when I come to die, (if God should add more years to the little number I have passed, besides this I have now begun,) I may be able to say, with upright Hezekiahi “JRemember, LorJ^ how I have walked before thee in mine integrity;” that, in the face of death and the grave, in the view of another world, and the near prospect of eternity, I may be able to rejoice in hope, and say, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Thou art my Savjour, and I have waited for thy salvation. I have sought thee with my whole heart; I have chosen thy favour rather than worldly grandeur and prosperity; I have prized thy love, and endeavoured to obey thee, (as the best expression of my own,y though with many imperfections, which I bewail; I have delighted more in thy service and presence than in the pleasures of sin and vanity; thy testimonies have been the joy of my heart; I took no delight in the company of the ungodly, after I was devoted to thee; O let me not have my portion with them in the other world! fortify me now against the king of terrors, strengthen me in this my last conflict, enable me to triumph over death by the cross of Christ, (my victorious Redeemer,) and carry me through the dark valley at the divorce of soul and body, and grant me an abundant entrance into thine heavenly kingdom; let me be numbered among thy chosen, and my body wait in hope, till the general resurrection, that I may then see thy glory, and dwell with thee for ever 1

I gave up myself to thee, and do not repent my choice; acknowledge me now for thine, and do not lose that which is thy own. Lord Jesus! thou haaC paid my ransom, to deliver me from Satan, and from eternal wrath: Oh do not now reject me and cast roe off. Is it not thine office and covenant to aav those that fruit in thee? Oh remember thy word unto thy servant, wherein thou hast caused me to hope, when I ventured my salvation on thy promise and trusted to thy gracious word for eternal life* Thy love hath already overcome the greatest impediments of my salvation. It is as easy now to receive me as to love me. Thou hast prepared glory for thy redeemed one«, and hast bid me believingly to follow thee, and wait for thy salvation. Thou hast begotten me to a lively hope, by the incorruptible seed of the word: let me not now be deprived of the inheritance. Can that love, that pitied me in my blood, and fetched me from the gates of hell, now suffer me to fall into it? O crown thy grace, and perfect thy preparatory mercy, with everlasting mercy.

By voluntary consent and choice, thou art my God, and thy presence in heaven my ultimate felicity; I have trusted to thy gracious promise to prepare me for it, and bring me to it; “O fulfil thy word unto thy servant, wherein thou hast caused me to hope;” and mercifully receive my departing soul, that seeks thee, that loves thee, that breathes after thee, and desires nothing but to know thee better, and love thee more, and be more entirely conformed to thine image, and live always in thy blessed presence, lliou hast called me out of the world, placed thine image upon me, enabled me to make it my basiness, though with many imperfections, to serve, and please, and honour thee; O receive me to the fulness of thy love and grace, and present me faultless before the presence of thy glory, with exceeding joy: Amen. Holy Father, be it unto me according to tby word, through the merits and intercession f my all-sufficient Saviour, Jesus Christ, the faithful and true witness, in whom all thy promises are yea and amen.