The Author Breathes After Willingness to Depart and to Be with Christ

I am convinced that it is far better to depart and to be with Christ, than to be here. But this conviction alone will not excite such desires in my soul. They are opposed by a natural aversion to death, which sin has greatly increased; by the remains of unbelief, which avails itself of our darkness in the flesh and our too great familiarity with this visible world; and also by the want of our more lively foretaste of heaven. What must be done to overcome this opposition? Is there no remedy? Yes, there is a divine teaching, by which we must learn “so to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.” When we have read and heard, spoken and written the soundest truth and strongest arguments, we still know as if we knew not, and believe as if we believed not, unless God powerfully impresses the same things on our minds, and awakens our souls to feel what we

D. Thought* 9 know. Since we fell from Grod, the communion between our senses and understanding, and also between our understanding and our will and affections, is violated, and we are divided in ourselves by this schism in our faculties. All men may easily know that there is an almighty, omniscient, omnipresent, eternal, and perfectly holy and good Grod, the maker, preserver, and governor of all, who deserves our whole trust, love, and obedience; but how little of this knowledge is to be perceived in men’s hearts or lives. All men know that the world is vanity, that man must die, that riches cannot then profit, that time is precious, and that we have but little time to prepare for eternity; but how little do men seem to have of the real knowledge of these plain truths. Indeed, when Grod comes in with his powerful awakening light and love, then those things appear as different as if we were beginning to know them. All my best reasons for our immortality are but as the new-formed body of Adam before “Grod breathed into him the breath of life;” and he only can make them living reasons. To the Father of lights I must therefore still look up, and for his light and love I must still wait. I must learn both as a student and a beggar. “When I have thought and thought a thousand times, I must beg thy blessing, Lord, upon my thoughts. The eye of my understanding wrill be useless or vexatious to me without thy illuminating beams. 0 shine the soul of thy servant into a clearer knowledge of thyself and kingdom, and love him into more divine and heavenly love, and he will then willingly come to thee.

Why should I, by the fears of death, strive against the common course of nature, and against my only hopes of happiness? Is it not “appointed unto men once to die?” “Would I have God make sinful man immortal upon earth? When we are sinless, we shall be immortal. The love of life was given to teach me to preserve it with care and use it well, and not to torment myself with the continual foresight of death. If it be the misery after death that is feared, 0 what have I to do but to receive the free reconciling grace which is offered me from heaven to save me from such misery, and to devote myself totally to him who has promised, “Him that cometh to rue, I will in no wise cast out?” Had I studied my duty, and remembered that I am not my own, and that my times are in God’s hands, I had “been quiet from these fruitless fears. Had my resignation and devotedness to (rod been more absolute, my trust in him would have been more easy. “But, Lord, thou knowest that I would fain be thine, and wholly thine, and that to thee I desire to live: therefore let me wholly trust thee with my soul.”

Why should I have any remaining doubt of the future state of pious separate spirits? My Saviour has entered into the holiest, and has assured me that “there are many mansions in his Father’s house,” and that when we are “absent from the body,” we shall be “present with the Lords” “Who can think that all holy souls that have gone hence from the beginning of the world have been deceived in their faith and hope; and that all those whose hope was only in this life have been in the right? Shall I not abhor every suggestion that contains such absurdities? Wonderful, that Satan can keep up so much unbelief in the world, while he must make men fools in order to make them unbelievers and ungodly!

That my soul has no more lively foretastes of heaven, arises from those many wilful sins by which I have quenched the Spirit, and from the soul’s imprisonment in the flesh. This, 0 this is the misery and burden of my soul. Though I can say, I love Grod’s truth and grace, his work and servants, yet, that I have no more ardent and delightful love of heaven, where his loveliness will be more fully opened to my soul, is my sin, calamity, and shame. If I did not see that it is so with other of the servants of Christ as well as myself, I should doubt whether affections so disproportionate to my profession did not imply an unsound faith. It is strange that one who expects quickly to see the glorious world, and enter the holy celestial society, should not be more joyfully affected with such hopes; and that I should think so much of the pain and perishing of the flesh, though it be the common way to such an end. 0 hateful sin, that has so darkened and corrupted souls as to indispose them for their only expected happiness. What did man, when he forsook th* love and obedience of his God? How just that this flesh should he our prison, which we are for making our home! How mournful, that there is no more grace and holiness, knowledge of God and communion with him, in this world; that so few are saints, and those fewT so very imperfect; that while the sun shines on all the earth, the Sun of righteousness shines on so small a part of it! He that made us capable of holy and heavenly affections, gave us not that capacity in vain. Yet, alas, how little of God and glory enters into the hearts of men! “When recovering light shines upon us, how unthankfully do we entertain it. We cannot have the conduct and comfort of it while we shut our eyes and tarn away. And though God give to the best not so much of it as they desire, it is an unspeakable mercy, that in this darksome world we may but hear of a better world, and may seek it in, hope. We must not grudge in our prison to be denied such a presence of our king, and such pleasures of the kingdom, as innocent and free subjects hewe. Hope of pardon, and of a speedy deliverance, are great mercies to malefactors. And if my want of the knowledge and love of God, and of joyful communion with the heavenly society, be my prison, and as the suburbs of hell, should it not make me long for the day of my redemption, and the glorious liberty of the sons of God? My sincere desires of deliverance, and of holiness and perfection, are my evidences that I shall obtain them. As the will is the sinner, so the obstinate continuance of a will to sin is the cause of continued sin. So far as God makes us willing to be delivered from sin, so far we are delivered, and our imperfect deliverance is the way to more. If pains make me groan for ease, and sickness for health, why should not my remains of ignorance, unbelief, and alienation from God, excite my desire after the day of my salvation? As it is the nature of my sin to draw down my heart from God and glory; so it is the nature of my faith, hope, and love, to raise my heart toward heavenly perfection; not to desire death, but that which is beyond it. And have I been so many years in the school of Christ, learning both how to live and die, praying for this grace and exercising it against this sinful flesh; and after all, shall I not find flesh more powerful to draw me downward, than faith, hope, and love, to carry my desires up to God? “Q God, forbid. 0 thou that freely gavest me thy grace, maintain it to the last against its enemies, and make it finally victorious. It came from thee; it has been preserved by thee; it is on thy side, and wholly for thee; without it I had lived as a beast, and should die more miserably than a beast; it is thine image that thou lovest

; it is a divine nature and a heavenly beam. What will a soul be without it, but a dungeon of darkness, and dead to holiness and heaven? Without it who shall plead thy cause against the devil, world, and flesh? Without thy glory, earth is but earth; and without thy grace, earth would be a hell. 0 rather deny me the light of the sun than the light of thy countenance. Less miserable had I been without life or being, than without thy grace. Without thine and my Saviour’s help, I can do nothing. I could not pray or learn without thee; I never could conquer a temptation without thee; and can I die, or be prepared to die, without thee? I shall but say, as Thomas of

Christ, I know not whither my soul is going, and how can I know the way? My Lord having loved his own which were in the world, he loved them unto the end. He even commended and rewarded those that had continued with him in his temptations. Thou lovest fidelity and perseverance in thy servants; and wilt thou forsake a sinner in his extremity, who consents to thy covenant, and would not forsake thee? My God, I have often sinned against thee; but thou knowest I would fain be thine. I can say with Paul, thou art the ‘Grod whose I am, and whom I serve;’ and 0 that I could serve thee better. To serve thee is but to receive thy grace, and use it for my own and others good, and thereby please and glorify thee. I have nothing to do in this world but to seek and serve thee. I have nothing to do with my tongue but to speak to thee, and for thee; and with my pen, but to publish thy glory and thy will. What have I to do with all my reputation and influence over others, but to increase thy church, and propagate thy holy truth and service? What have I to do with my remaining time, even these last and languishing hours, but to look up unto thee, and wait for thy grace and thy salvation? 0 pardon all my carnal thoughts, all my unthankful treatment of thy grace and love, and all my wilful sins against thy truth and thee. Under the terrors of the law thou didst even proclaim thyself ‘the Lord, the Lord Grod, merciful and gracious, long-suffering, and abundant in goodness and truth; keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin.’ And is not ‘the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ’ revealed in the gospel for our more abundant faith and consolation? My Grod, I know I can never be sufficiently confident of thy all-sufficient power, wisdom, and goodness. When I have said, ‘Will the Lord cast off for ever; and will he be favorable no more? Is his mercy clean gone for ever? Doth his promise fail for evermore? Hath God forgotten to be gracious; hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies V conscience has replied, This is mine infirmity; I never wanted comfort for want of mercy in thee, but for want of faith and holiness in myself. And hast thou not mercy also to give me that faith and holiness? My Grod, all is of thee, and through thee, and to thee; and when I have the felicity, the glory of all for ever will be thine. None that trust in thy nature and promise shall be ashamed. If I can live and die trusting in thee, surely I shall not be confounded.”

“Why then should it seem a difficult question how my soul may willingly leave this world and go to Christ in peace? The same grace which regenerated me, must bring me to my desired end. “Believe and trust thy Father, thy Saviour, and thy Comforter. Hope, for the joyful entertainments of the promised blessedness; and long by. love for nearer divine union and communion. Thus, 0 my soul, mayest thou depart in peace.”

1. Believe and trust the promise of Grod. How sure is it, and how suitable to his love, to the nature of our souls, and to the operations of every grace. “Why, 0 my soul, art thou so vainly solicitous to have clear, distinct conceptions of the celestial world? “When thou art possessed of a better state, thou shalt know it as a possessor ought to do; for such a knowledge as thou lookest after is part of the possession. Thy Saviour and his glorified saints are possessors. His knowledge must now be thy chief satisfaction. Seek not vainly to usurp his prerogative. “Wouldst thou be a God and Saviour to thyself? Consider how much of the fall there is in this selfish desire to be as God, in knowing that which belongs not to thee to know. Thou knowest that there undoubtedly is a God of infinite perfection, “and that he is a re warder of them that diligently seek him.” Labor more to know thy duty to this God, and absolutely trust him as to the particulars of thy reward. Thou didst trust thy parents to provide thee food and raiment, and didst implicitly obey them. Thou hast trusted physicians to give thee medicines, without inquiring after every ingredient. If a pilot undertake to carry thee to the Indies, thou canst trust his conduct without knowing either the ship or how to govern it, or the way, or the place to which thou art conveyed. And must not thy God and Saviour be trusted to bring thee safe to heaven unless he will satisfy all thy inquiries? The command to be “careful for nothing,” and to “cast all thy care on God, who careth for thee,” obligeth thee in all things that are God’s part. To dispose of a departing soul is God’s part. 0 how much evil is there in this distrusting, self-providing care. Be not “cast down,” 0 departing soul, nor by unbelief “disquieted within me. Trust thou in God,” for soon shall experience teach thee to “praise him,” who is “the health of my countenance, and my God.”

How clearly does reason command me to trust him, absolutely and implicitly to trust him, and to distrust myself. He is essential, infinite perfection, wisdom, power, and love There is nothing to be trusted in any creature but God working in it, or by it. I am altogether his own, by right, by devotion, and by consent. He is the giver of all good to every creature, as freely as the sun gives its light; and shall we not trust the sun to shine? He is my Father, and has taken me into his family; and shall I not trust my heavenly Father? He has given me his Son, as the greatest pledge of his love; and “shall he not with him also freely give me all things?” His Son purposely came to reveal his Father’s unspeakable love; and shall I not trust him who has proclaimed his love by such a messenger from heaven? He has given me the Spirit of his Son. even the Spirit of adoption, the witness, pledge, and earnest of heaven, the seal of Grod upon me, “holiness to the Lord;” and shall I not believe his love and trust him? He has made me a member of his Son, and will he not take care of me, and is not Christ to be trusted with his members? I am his interest, and the interest of his Son, freely beloved and dearly bought; and may I not trust him with his treasure? He has made me the care of angels, who rejoiced at my repentance; and shall they lose their joy or ministration? He is in covenant with me, and has “given me many great and precious promises;” and can he be unfaithful? My Saviour is the forerunner, who has entered into the holiest, and is there interceding for me, having first conquered death to assure us of a future life, and ascended into heaven, to show us whither we must ascend, saying to his brethren, “I ascend to my Father and your Father, to my Grod and your Grod;” and shall I not follow him through death, and trust such a guide and captain of my salvation? He is there to “prepare a place for me, and will receive me unto himself;” and may I not confidently expect it? He told a malefactor on the cross, u To-day shalt thou be with me in paradise,” to show believing sinners what they may expect. His apostles and other saints have served him on earth with all these expectations. “The spirits of just men made perfect” are now possessing what I hope for, and I am a “follower of them who through faith and patience inherit the promised” felicity; and may I not trust him to save me, who has already saved millions? I must be at the divine disposal, whether I will or not; and however I vex my soul with fears and cares and sorrows, I shall never prevail against the will of Grod, which is the only rest of souls. Our own wills have undone us, and are our disease, our prison, and our death, till they are brought over to the will of God; and shall I die, distrustfully striving against his wifl, and preferring my own before it?

“What abundant experience have I had of God’s fidelity and love; and after all shall I not trust him? His undeserved mercy gave me being, chose my parents, gave them affectionate desires for my real good, taught them to instruct me early in his word, and educate me in his fear; made my habitation and companions suitable, endowed me with a teachable disposition, put excellent books into my hands, and placed me under wise and faithful schoolmasters and ministers. His mercy fixed me in the best of lands, and in the best age that land had seen. His mercy early destroyed in me all great expectations from the world, taught me to bear the yoke from my youth, caused me rather to groan under my infirmities than struggle with powerful lusts, and chastened me betimes, but did not give me over unto death. Ever since I was at the age of nineteen, great mercy has trained me up in the school of affliction, to keep my sluggish soul awake in constant expectation of my change, to kill my proud and worldly thoughts, and to direct all my studies to things the most necessary. How has a life of constant but gentle chastisement urged me to “make my calling and lection sure,” and to prepare my accounts, as one that must quickly give them up to God. The face of death, and nearness of eternity, convinced me what books to read, what studies to prosecute, what companions to choose; drove me early into the vineyard of the Lord, and taught me to preach as a dying man to dying men. It was divine love and mercy which made sacred truth so pleasant to me, that my life, under all my infirmities, has been almost a constant recreation. How far beyond my expectation has a merciful God encouraged me in h.rs sacred work, choosing every place of my ministry and abode to this day, without my own seeking, and never sending me to labor in vain. How many are gone to heaven, and how many are in the way, through a divine blessing on the word which in weakness I delivered. Many good Christians are glad of now and then an hour to meditate on God’s word, and refresh themselves in his holy worship but God has allowed and called me to make it the constant business of my life. In my library I have profitably and pleasantly dwelt among the shining lights, with which the learned, wise, and holy men of all ages have illuminated the

P. Thought* 1 0 world. How many comfortable hours have I had in the society of living saints, and in the love of faithful friends. How many joyful days in solemn worshipping assemblies where the Spirit of Christ has been manifestly present, both with ministers and people. How unworthy was such a sinful worm as I, who never had any academical helps, nor much from the mouth of any teacher, that books should become so great a blessing to me, and that (rod should induce or constrain me, quite beyond my own intentions, to provide any such like helps for others. How unworthy that Grod should use me above forty years in so comfortable a work as pleading and wTriting for love, peace, and concord, and with so much success. “What mercy had I amidst the calamities of a civil war, to live two years in safety at Coventry, a city of defence, and in the heart of the kingdom. When I afterwards saw the effects of human folly and fury, and of Grod’s displeasure, in the ruin of towns and countries, and in the fields covered with carcasses of the slain, how mercifully was I preserved and brought home in peace. And Oh, how great was the mercy showed me in a peaceable, humble, unanimous people, so numerous, so exemplary, and wTho to this day maintain their integrity and concord, when, for thirty-one years, I have been forced to remain at a distance from them. “What a mercy, when I might not speak by voice to any single congregation, to be enabled to speak by writings to many, and to have the plainest writings attended with success, and some of them sent to preach in foreign lands and languages. Though I have been sent to the common jail for my service and obedience to God, yet he has there kept me in peace, and soon delivered me: and how often has he succored me when nature and art have failed. How he has cured my consumptive coughs, stopped my flowing blood, eased my pained limbs, and upheld an emaciated skeleton. I have had fifty years added to my days, though I expected not to live one of them; and what strange deliverances have been wrought for me, upon< the importunate requests of many hundreds of my praying friends. How have I been kept in ordinary health and safety, when the raging pestilence came near my habitation and consumed a hundred thousand citizens. And how was my dwelling preserved, when I saw London, the glory of the land, in flames. These, and many more, are my experiences of that wonderful mercy which has measured my pilgrimage, and filled up my days. Never did God break his promise with me. Never did he fail me or forsake me. And shall I now distrust him at last?

“To thee, 0 Lord, as to ’ a faithful Creator,’ I commit my soul. I know that thou art ’ the faithful (rod, which .keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love thee and keep thy commandments. Thou art faithful, who hast called me to the fellowship of thy Son Jesus Christ our Lord.’ Thy faithfulness has saved me from temptation, and kept me from prevailing evil, and will ’ preserve my whole spirit and soul and body unto the coming of Christ.’ It is in faithfulness thou hast afflicted me; and shall I not trust thee to save me? ‘It is thy faithful saying, that thy elect shall obtain the salvation which is in Christ Jesus, with eternal glory; for if we be dead with him, we shall also live with him; if we suffer, we shall also reign with him.’ To thee, 0 my Saviour, I commit my soul; it is thine by redemption, thine by covenant; it is sealed by thy Spirit, and thou hast promised not to lose it. Thou wast 4 made like unto thy brethren, that thou mightest be a merciful and faithful High-priest in things pertaining to Grod, to make reconciliation for our sins.’ By thy blood we have boldness to enter into the holiest, by a new and living way consecrated for us. Cause me to i draw near with a true heart in full assurance of faith.’ Thy name is faithful and true. True and faithful are all thy promises. Thou hast promised rest to weary souls that come to thee. I am weary of suffering, sin, and flesh — weary of my darkness, dulness, and distance. Whither should I look for rest, but home to my heavenly Father and thee? I am but a bruised reed, but thou wilt not break me. I am but smoking flax, but thou wilt not quench what thy grace hath kindled. Thou, in whose name the nations trust, ’ wilt bring forth judgment unto victory.’ The Lord redeemeth the souls of his servants, and none of them that trust in him shall be desolate. I will wait on thy name; for it is good: I trust in the mercy of God for ever and ever. The Lord is good, a strong-hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him. Sinful fear brings a snare; but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord shall be safe. ‘Blessed is the man that maketh the Lord his trust. Thou art my hope, 0 Lord Grod; thou art my trust from my youth. By thee have I been holden up from the womb: my praise shall be continually of thee. Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth. 0 God, thou hast taught me from my youth, and hitherto have I declared thy wondrous works. Now also, when I am old and gray-headed, 0 Grod, forsake me not. Mine eyes are unto thee, 0 God the Lord: in thee is my trust; leave not my soul destitute. I had fainted, unless I had believed to see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living,’ even where they that live shall die no more.” The sun may cease to shine on man, and the earth to bear us; but God will never cease to be faithful to his promises. Blessed be the Lord, who has commanded me so safe and quieting a duty as to trust in him, and cast all my cares upon him who has promised to care for me.

2. Hope also for the salvation of God. Hope is the ease, yea, the life of our hearts, which would otherwise break, and even die within us. Despair is no small part of hell. God cherishes hope, as he is the lover of souls. Satan our enemy cherishes despair, when his more usual way of presumption fails. Hope anticipates salvation, as fear does evil. It is the hypocrite’s hope that perishes; and all who hope for durable happiness on earth must be deceived. But “happy is he that hath the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the Lord his God, which made heaven and earth, which keepeth truth for ever.” Woe to me, if in this life only I had hope. But the righteous hath hope in his death. And hope maketh not ashamed. Blessed is the man that trusteth in the Lord, and whose hope the Lord is. Lay hold then, 0 my soul, upon the hope set before thee; it is thy sure and steadfast anchor, without which thou wilt be as a shipwrecked vessel. Thy foundation is sure, even God himself. Our faith and hope are both in God. Christ dwells in our hearts by faith, is in us the hope of glory. By this hope, better than the law of Moses could bring, we draw nigh unto God. “We hope for that we see not, and with patience wait for it. We are saved by hope. It is an encouraging grace; it excites our diligence and helps to full assurance unto the end. It is a desiring grace, and is an earnest to obtain the glory hoped for. It is a comforting grace; for the God of hope fills us with all joy and peace in believing, that we may abound in hope through the power of the Holy Ghost. Shake off despondency, 0 my soul, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Believe in hope, though dying flesh would tell thee that it is against hope.

What blessed preparations are made for our hope! God has confirmed it by two immutable things, his promise and his oath. “His abundant mercy hath begotten us again unto a lively hope, by the resurrection of Christ, to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for us.” Grace teacheth us, that “denying ungoaliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world; looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour.” We are renewed by the Holy Ghost, and justified by grace, that we should be made heirs according to the hope of eternal life. The eyes of our understanding are enlightened, that we may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of this inheritance in the saints. The hope which is laid up for us in heaven hath, through the gospel, brought life and immortality to light. Having hope towards God, we exercise ourselves to have always a conscience void of offence, and serve Gfod day and night. For a helmet, we put on the hope of salvation. Death is not to us as to others which have no hope. Our Lord Jesus Christ and God, even our Father, hath loved us, and hath given us everlasting consolation and good hope through grace, to comfort our hearts and establish us in every good word and work. We must hold fast the rejoicing of the hope firm unto the end, and continue in the faith grounded and settled, and not be moved away from the hope of the gospel. And now, Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in thee. Uphold me according to thy word, that I may live, and let me not be ashamed of my hope. Though our iniquities testify against us, yet, 0 Lord, the Hope of Israel, the Saviour thereof in time of trouble, be not as a stranger, leave us not. We have been showed the praises of the Lord and his wonderful works, that we might set our hope in Grod. Remember the word unto thy servant, upon which thou hast caused me to hope. If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, 0 Lord, who shall stand? But there is forgiveness with thee, that thou may est be feared. I wait for the Lord, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope. Let Israel hope in the Lord; for with the Lord there is mercy, and with him is plenteous redemption. The Lord taketh pleasure in them that fear him, in those that hope in his mercy. Though my flesh and heart fail, God is the strength of my* heart. The Lord is my portion, saith my soul; therefore will I hope in him. The Lord is good unto them that wait for him, to the soul that seeketh him. It is good that a man should both hope and quietly wait for the salvation of the Lord. It is good for a man that he hear the yoke in his youth, and that he keepeth silence, and putteth his mouth in the dust, if so he there may be hope.

God needs not flatter such worms as we are, nor promise us what he never means to perform. He has laid the rudiments of our hope in a nature capable of desiring, seeking, and thinking of another life. He has called me by grace to actual desires and endeavors, and has vouchsafed some foretastes. I look for no heaven but the perfection of divine life, light, and love in endless glory with Christ and his saints, and this he has already begun in me. And shall I not boldly hope, when I have capacity, the promise, and the earnest and foretaste? Is it not God himself that caused me to hope? “Was not nature, promise, and grace from him? And can a soul miscarry and be deceived, that departs hence in a hope of God’s own producing and encouraging? “Lord, I have lived in hope, I have prayed, labored, suffered, and w7aited in hope, and by thy grace, I will die in hope; and is not this according to thy word and will? And wilt thou cast away a soul that hopes in thee by thine own command and operation?” Had wealth and honor and continuance on earth, or the favor of man, been my reward and hope, my hope and I had died together. “Were this our best, how vain were man; but the Lord liveth, and my Redeemer is glorified, and intercedes for me: and the same Spirit is in heaven who is in my heart, as the same sun is in the firmament and in my house. The promise is sure to all Christ’s seed; for millions are now in heaven who once lived and died in hope: they were sinners once, as I now am; they had no other Saviour, Sanctifier, or promise, than I now have. Confessing that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth, they desired a better country, that is, a heavenly, where they now are. And shall I not follow them in hope, who have sped so well? Then, 0 my soul, hope unto the end. Hope in the Lord, from henceforth and for ever. I will hope continually, and will yet praise him more and more. My mouth shall show forth his righteousness and salvation; The Lord is at my right hand, I shall not be moved. Therefore my heart is glad, and my glory rejoiceth; my flesh also shall rest in hope. Grod hath showed me the path of life: in his presence is fulness of joy, at his right hand there are pleasures for evermore.

3. What then remains, but that in faith and hope I love my Grod, my Saviour, my Comforter, the glorious society, and my own perfection in glory, better than this burden of flesh, and this howling wilderness? How odious is that darkness and unbelief, that unholiness and disaffection, that deadness and stupidity, which makes such love seem hard and unsuitable. Is it unsuitable or hard for the eye to see the light or the beauties of creation, or for a man to love his life or health, his father or his friend? What should be easier to a nature that has rational love, than to love him who is love itself? He that loveth all, and gives to all a capacity to love, should be loved by all; and he that hath especially loved me, should especially be loved by me.

Love desires to please God, and therefore to be in the most pleasing state, and freed from all that is displeasing to him; which is not to be hoped for on earth. It desires all suitable nearness, acquaintance, union, and communion. It is weary of distance and alienation. It takes advantage of every notice of God to renew and exercise these desires. Every message and mercy from God is fuel for love, and while we are short of perfection, stirs up our desires after more of God. The soul is where it loves. If our friends dwell in our hearts by love, and if fleshly pleasures, riches, and honor dwell in the hearts of the voluptuous, covetous, and proud? surely God and Christ, heaven and holiness dwell in the heart which loves them fervently. And if heaven dwell in my heart, shall I not desire to dwell in heaven? Would divine love more plentifully pour itself upon my heart, how easy would it be to leave this flesh and world. Death and the grave would be but a triumph for victorious love. It would be easier to die in peace and joy, than to go to rest at night after a fatiguing day, or eat when I am hungry. A little love has made me willingly study, preach, write, and even suffer; and would not more love make me willingly go to God? Shall the imagination of house, gardens, walks, libraries, prospects, etc., allure the desires of deceived minds, and shall not the thoughts of heavenly mansions, converse, and joys, more powerfully draw up my desires? Can I love such a world as this, where tyranny sheds streams of blood and lays cities and countries desolate; where the wicked are exalted, the just and innocent reproached and oppressed, the gospel restrained, and idolatry and infidelity prevail? And shall I not think more delightfully of “the inheritance of the saints in light,” and of the cordial love and joyful praises of the church triumphant? Should I not love a lovely and loving world much better than a world where there is comparatively so little loveliness or love? All that is of God is good and lovely. But here his glory shines not in felicitating splendor. I am taught to look upward when I pray, “Our Father which art in heaven.” God’s works are amiable even in hell; and yet, though I would know them, I would not be there. And alas, how much of the works of man are here mixed with the works of God! Here is God’s wisdom, but man’s folly; God’s government, but man’s tyranny; God’s love and mercy, but man’s wrath and cruelty; much of God’s beautiful order and harmony, but much of man’s deformity and confusion. Here is much truth and justice; but how it is mixed. Here are wise, judicious teachers and companions, but comparatively how few. Here are worthy and religious families; but by the temptations of wealth and worldly interest, how full even of the sins “of Sodom, pride, fulness of bread, and abundance of idleness,” if not also of unmercifulness to the poor. And how few pious families of the great, that do not quickly degenerate from their progenitors by error or sensuality. Here are some that educate their children wisely krthe fear of God, and accordingly have comfort in them; but how many are there that train them up to the service of the world, the flesh, and the devil.

How many send their children to get sciences, trades, or to travel in foreign lands, before ever they were instructed, at home, against those temptations which they must encounter, and by which they are so often undone. How commonly, when they have first neglected this great duty to their children, do they plead a necessity of thrusting them out, from some punctilio of honor, or conformity to the world, or to adorn them with some of the plumes of fashionable modes and ceremonies, which will never compensate the loss of heavenly wisdom, mortification, and the love of God and man. As if they might send them to sea for some trifling reason, without pilot or anchor, and think that God must save them from the waves. And when such children have forsaken God, and given themselves up to sensuality and profaneness, these parents wonder at the judgments of God, and with broken hearts lament their own infelicity, instead of lamenting their own misconduct. Thus families, churches, and kingdoms run on to blindness, ungodliness, and confusion. Folly, sin, and misery, mistaking themselves for wit, honor, and prosperity, are the ordinary pursuits of mortals. Such a bedlam is most of the world become, that he is the bravest man who can sin and be damned with reputation and renown, and successfully draw the greatest number with him to hell. This is the world which stands in

D. Thought*. 1 1 competition for ray love, with the spiritual, blessed world.

In this world I have had many of God’s mercies and comforts; but their sweetness was their taste of divine love and their tendency to heavenly perfection. What was the end and use of all the good that ever I saw, or that God ever did for my soul or body, but to teach me to love him, and to desire to love him more? Wherever I go, and whichever way I look, I see vanity and vexation written upon all things in this world, so far as they stand in competition with God; and I see holiness to the Lord written upon every thing, so far as it leads me to him as my ultimate end. The emptiness, danger, and bitterness of the world, and the all-sufficiency, faithfulness, and goodness of God, have been the sum of all the experiences of all my life. And shall a worldly, backward heart overcome the teachings of nature, Scripture, the Spirit of grace, and all experience? “0 my God, love is thy great and special gift. All good is from thee. Come into this heart, for it cannot come up to thee. Can the plants go up to the sun for life, or the eye for light? Dwell in me by the Spirit of love, and I shall dwell by love in thee. I easily feel that through thy grace I love thy word, thy image, thy work; and 0, how heartily do I love to love thee, and how long to know and love thee more. And if ’ all things be of thee, and through thee, and to thee,’ surely this love is eminently so. It means thee, Lord. It looks to thee; it serves thee: for thee it moves and seeks and sighs: in thee it trusts; and the hope and peace and comfort which support me are in thee. When I was a returning prodigal in rags, thou sawest me afar off, and didst meet me with the caresses of thy love; and shall I doubt whether He that has better clothed me, and has dwelt within me, will entertain me in the world of love?”

The suitableness of things below to my fleshly nature has detained my affections too much on earth; and shall not the suitableness of things above to my spiritual nature much more draw up my love to heaven? There is the God whom I have sought and served. He is also here, but veiled, and little known. There he shines to heavenly spirits in heavenly glory. There is the Saviour in whom I have believed. He also dwelt on earth, “but clothed in such meanness, and humbled to such a life and death, as was to the Jews a stumbling-block, and to the Greeks foolishness. Now he shines and reigns in glory, above the malice and contempt of sinners. And I shall live there because he lives; and in his light I shall see light. I had here some rays of heavenly light, but under what eclipses, and even long and winter nights. There I shall dwell in the city of God, the heavenly Jerusalem, where there is no night nor eclipse. There are heavenly hosts, in whose holy love and joyful praises I would fain partake. I have here, though unseen, had some of their loving assistance; but there I shall be with them, of the same nature, and the same triumphant church. There are perfected souls: not striving, like the disciples, who should be the greatest; not like Noah in the old world, or Lot in Sodom, or Abraham among idolaters; nor like those that “wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins, being destitute, afflicted, tormented, hid in dens and caves of the earth;” nor like Job on the dunghill, or Lazarus at the rich man’s gate; nor as we poor bewildered sinners, feeling evil and fearing more. Should I fear a darksome passage into a world of perfect light? Should I fear to go to love itself? 0 excellent grace of faith which foresees, and blessed word of faith which foreshows this world of love.

And canst thou doubt, 0 my soul, whether thou art going to a Grod that loveth thee? If the Jewrs discerned the great love of Christ to Lazarus by his tears, canst not thou discern his love to thee in his blood? It is not the less precious, because shed, not for thee alone, but for many. May I not say, I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me? Yea, it is not so much I that live, but Christ liveth in me. And will he forsake the habitation which his love has chosen, and which he has so dearly bought? “What shall separate us from the love of Grod? If life has not, death shall not do it. 0 my soul, if leaning on Christ’s breast at meat was a token of his peculiar love to John, is not his dwelling in thee by faith, and his living in thee by his Spirit, a sure token of his love to thee?

Did his darkly saying, “If I will that he tarry till I come, what is that to thee?” raise a report that the beloved disciple should not die; why should not plain promises assure thee that thou shalt live for ever with him that loveth thee? Be not so unthankful, 0 my soul, as to doubt whether thy heavenly Father and thy Lord love thee. Canst thou forget the sealed testimonies of it? Did I not lately repeat so many as ought to shame thy doubt? A multitude of thy friends have so entirely loved thee, that thou canst not doubt of it; and did any of them testify their love with the convincing evidence that Grod has done? Are they love itself? Is their love so full, so firm and unchangeable as his? I think heaven the sweeter, because many of my old, lovely, affectionate, holy friends are there, and I am the more willing by death to follow them. And should it not be more pleasing to think that my Grod and Father, my Saviour and Comforter are there? Was not Lazarus in the bosom of God? And yet he is said to be in Abraham’s bosom; that is, not there alone, but as we are all to sit down with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob in the kingdom of

God. I am often ready to entertain myself with naming such of my friends as are now with Christ; but in heaven they will love me better than they did on earth, and my love to them will be more pleasant. But all these sparks are little to the sun.

Every place I have lived in has its monuments of divine love. Every year and hour of my life has been a time of love. Every friend, neighbor, and even enemy, have been the messengers and instruments of love. Every state and change of my life, notwithstanding my sin, have opened to me the treasures and mysteries of love. And shall I doubt whether the same God loves me? Is he the God of the hills and not of the valleys? Did he love me in my youth and health, and will he not also in my age and pain and sickness? Did he love all the saints better in their life than at their death? My groans grieve my friends, but abate not their love. God loved me when I was his enemy to make me a friend. God will finish his own work. 0 the multitude of mercies to my soul and body, in peace and war, in youth and age, to myself and friends.

Have I lived in the experience of the love of God to me, and shall I die doubting of it? I am not much in doubt of the truth of my love to him. I love his word, works, and ways, and would fain be nearer to him, and love him more, and loathe myself for loving him no better. Peter may more confidently say, “Thou knowest that I love thee,” than, “I know that thou lovest me,” because our knowledge of God’s great love is less than his knowledge of our little love; and without the knowledge of our love to God, we can never be sure of his special love to us. I am not entirely a stranger to myself. I know for what I have lived and labored, and whom I have desired to please. The “God whose I am, and whom I serve,” hath loved me in my youth, and will love me in my aged weakness. My pains seem grievous, but love chooses them, uses them for my good, moderates them, and will shortly end them. “Why then should I doubt of my Father’s love? Shall pain or dying make me doubt? Did God never love any but Enoch and Elijah? And what am I better than my fathers? 0 for a clearer, stronger faith. Methinks Daniel’s title, “a man greatly beloved,” should be enough to make one joyfully love and trust God, both in life and death. And have not all the saints that title in their degrees? What else signifies their mark, “holiness to the Lord?” It is but our separation to God as his peculiar, beloved people. And how are we separated but by mutual love? He that is no otherwise beloved than hypocrites and unbelievers, must have his portion with them; and the ungodly, unholy, and unregenerate shall not stand in judgment, nor see God, nor enter into his kingdom. Upright souls are to blame for their groundless doubts of God’s love, not for their acknowledging it, rejoicing in it, or for being solicitous to make it sure. Love brought me into the world, and furnished me with a thousand mercies, and has provided for me, delivered, and preserved me till now; and will it not entertain my separate soul? Is God like false or insufficient friends, that forsake us in adversity?

I confess I h&ve by sin wronged love; but all except Christ were sinners, whom love has purified and received to glory. “God, who is rich in mercy, for his great love wherewith he loved us, even wThen we were dead in sins, hath quickened us together with Christ — by grace we are saved — and hath raised us up together in heavenly places in Christ Jesus.” 0 that I could love much, that have so much forgiven! The glorified praise “Him that loved us, and washed us from our sins in his own blood, and hath made us kings and priests unto Grod.” Our Father, who hath loved us, hath given us “everlasting consolation and good hope through grace.” I know no sin which I repent not of with self-loathing, and I earnestly beg and labor that none of my sins may be unknown to me. 0 that God would bless my accusations, that I may not be unknown to myself, though some think me much better than I am. “Who can understand his errors?” Lord, “cleanse thou me from secret faults; keep back thy servant also from presumptuous sins.” I have an Advocate with thee, and thy promise, that “if we confess our sins,” thou wilt “forgive them.” “Wherever I have erred, Lord, make it known to me, that my confession may prevent the sin of others; and where I have not erred, confirm and accept me in the right. And since an unworthy worm has had so many testimonies of thy love, let me not, when thou sayest, “I have loved thee,” unthankfully ask, “Wherein hast thou loved me?” Heaven is not more spangled with stars than thy word and works with the refulgent signatures of love. Thy well-beloved Son, the Son of thy love, undertaketh the message and work of the greatest love, was full of the spirit of love; which he shed abroad in the hearts of thine elect, that the love of the Father, the grace of the Son, and the communion of the Spirit may be their hope and life. By his works, sufferings, and gifts, as well as by his comfortable word, he said to his disciples, “As the Father loved me, so have I loved you; continue ye in my love.” Lord, how shall we continue in it, but by the thankful belief of thy love and loveliness, desiring still to love thee more, and in all things to know and do thy will, which thou knowest is my soul’s desire?

Draw nearer, 0 my soul, to the Lord of love, and be not seldom and slight in thy contemplation of his love and loveliness. Dwell in the sunshine, and thou wilt know that it is light and warm and comfortable. Distance and strangeness cherish thy doubts. “Acquaint thyself with him, and be at peace.” Look up, often and earnestly look up after thy ascended glorified Head. Think where and what he is, and what he is now doing for all his own and once abased: suffering love is now triumphant, reigning, glorified love; and therefore not less now than in all its tender expressions on earth. Had I done this more and better, and as I have persuaded others to do it, I had lived in more convincing delights of (xod’s love, which would have turned the fears of death into more joyful hopes, and more earnest “desires to be with Christ,” in the arms, in the world, in the life of love, as far better than to be here in a world of darkness, doubts, and fears. But 0, my Father, thou infinite Love, though my arguments be many and strong, my heart is bad, my strength is weakness, and I am insufficient to plead the cause of thy love and loveliness to myself or others. 0 plead thy own cause, and what heart can resist? Let it not be my word only, but thine, that thou lovest me, even me a sinner. Say as Christ to Lazarus, “Arise!” Tell me as thou dost, that the sun is warm, yea, as thou didst, that my parents and dearest friends loved me. Tell me, as by the consciousness and works of life thou tellest me, that thou hast given me life; that while I can say, Thou that knowest all things, knowest that I love thee, I may infer, Therefore I know I am beloved of thee. Thus let me come to thee in the confidence of thy love, and long to be nearer, in the clearer sight, the fuller sense, and more joyful exercise of love for ever. Father, into thy hand I commend my spirit. Lord Jesus, receive my spirit. Amen.