Introductory

1 ile no doubt but you have at times had pleasing reflections upon that promise made to the Israelites, in Deut. 8:2. They were then in the wilderness, surrounded with difficulties, which were greatly aggravated by their own distrust and perverseness: they had experienced a variety of dispensations, the design of which they could not as yet understand; they frequently lost sight of God’s gracious purposes in their favor, and were much discouraged by reason of the way. To compose and animate their minds, Moses here suggests to them that there was a

future happy time drawing near, when their journey and warfare should be Gidlabod:; that they should soon be put in possession of the promised land, and have rest from all their fears and troubles; and then it would give them pleasure to look back upon what they mow found so un- easy to bear: “Thou shalt remember all the way by which the Lord thy God led thee through this wildernes

But the i and comfort of these words is still greater, if we consider them, in a spiritual sense, as addressed to all who are passing through the wilderness of this world to a heavenly Canaan; ho, by faith in the promises and power of Go ‘te seeking an eternal rest in that kingdom which cannot be shaken. The hope of that glorious inheritance inspires us with some degree Mi curaze and zeal to press forward to the place where Jesus has already entered as our forerunner; and when our eye is fixed upon him, we are more than conquerors over all that would withstand-our progress. But we have not yet attained; we still the infirmities of a fallen nature: through the remains of ignorance and unbelief we often mistake the Lord’s dealings with us, and are ready to complain; when, if we knew all, we should rather rejoice. But to us likewise there is a time coming when our warfare shall b accomplished, our views enlarged, a our increased; then

nd love shall — . the Lord ‘led us! We shall then see and acknowledge

that mercy and goodness directed every step; we shall see, that, what our ignorance once called adversities and evils, were in reality blessings, which we could not have done well without; that nothing befell us without a cause; that no trouble came upon us sooner, or pressed on us more heavily, or continued longer than our case required: in’a word, that our many afflictions were each*in their place among the means employed by divine grace and wisdom, to bring us —

to the possession of that exceeding and eternal weight of glory which the Lord has prepared for his ‘people. And even in this imperfect state, though we are seldom able to judge aright of our present circumstances, yet if we look upon the years of our past life, and compare the dispensations we have been brought through with the frame of our minds under each successive period; if we consider how wonderfully one thing has been connected with another, so that what we now number amongst our great advantages, perhaps, took their first rise from incidents which we thought hardly worth our notice; and that we have sometimes eseaped the greatest dangers that threatened us, not by any wisdom or foresight of our own, but by the intervention of circumstances which we neither desired nor thought of: I: Bays when we compare and consider these things by the light afforded us in the — Holy Scriptures, we may collect indisputable proof from the narrow circle of our own concerns, that the wise and good providence of God watches over his people from the earliest mo-

‘ment of their life; overrules and guards them

through all their wanderings in a state of ignorance, and leads them in a way that they know not, till at length his providence and grace concur in those events and impressions which bring them to the knowledge of him and themselves.

I am persuaded that every believer will, upon due reflection, see enough in his own case to confirm this remark; but not all in the same degree. The outward circumstances of many have been uniform, they have known but little variety in life; and, with respect to their inward change, it has been effected in a secret way, unnoticed by others, and almost unperceived by themselves. The Lord has spoken to them, not in thunder and tempest; but with a still small voice he has drawn them gradually to himself; so that, though they have a happy assurance that they know and love him, and are passed from death unto life, yet of the precise time and manner they can give little account. Others he seems to select in order to show the exceeding riches of his grace, and the greatness of his mighty power: he suffers the natural rebellion and wickedness of their hearts to have full scope: while sinners

of less note are cut off with. little warning, these are spared, though sinning with a high hand, and, as it woat studying shicir own destruction. At length, when all that knew them are perhaps expecting to hear that they are made signal instances of divine vengeance, the Lord (whose thoughts are high above ours, as the heavens are higher than the earth) is pleased to pluck them as brands out of the fire, and to make them monuments of his mercy, for the encouragement of others: they are, beyond expectation, convinced, pardoned and changed.

A case of this sort indicates a divine power no

less than the creation of a world: it is evidently

the Lord’s doing, and it is marvellous in the eyes of all those who are not blinded by prejudice and unbelief.

Such was the persecuting Saul: his heart was full of enmity against Jesus of Nazareth, and therefore he persecuted and made havoc of his disciples.

He had been a terror to the church of Jerusalem, and was going to Damascus with the same views. He was yet breathing out threatenings and slaughter against all that loved the Lord Jesus. He thought little of the mischief he had hitherto done. He was engaged for the suppression of the whole sect; and hurrying from house

10 “LIFE OF REV. — “”

to house, from place to placosh he carried cosa in his look, and repeated threa gs with every breath. Such was his spirit ‘and fremper when the Lord Jesus, whom he hated and opposed, checked him in the height of his rage, called this bitter persecutor to the honor of an apostle, and inspired him to preach, with great zeal and earnestness, that faith which he so y ) destroy. Pie ’

Nor are we without remarkable displays of the same sovereign efficacious grace in our own times: I may particularly mention the instance of the late Colonel Gardiner. If any real satis<

faction could be found in a sinful course, he

would have met with it; for he pursued the ex- — ; SS. with all possible advantages. He was

abituated to evil; and many uncommon, almost. miraculous, Betiparances made no impression upon him. Yet, he likewise was made willing in the day of God’s power; and the bright example of his life, illustrated and diffused by the account of him published since his death, has afforded an occasion of much praise to God, and much comfort to his people.

After the mention of such names, can you permit me, sir, to add my own? If I do, it must be with a very humbling distinction. These once eminent sinners proved eminent christians: much had been forgiven them, they loved much. St.

ences: m3

“The grace bestowed upon me
labored more abundantly

than they al ‘” Colonel Gardiner likewise was

as a city set upon a hill, a burning and a shining light: the manner of his conversion was hardly more singular than the whole course of his conversation from that time to his death. Here, alas! the parallel eatly fails. It has not been thus with me. Imust take deserved shame to myself, that I have made very unsuitable returns for what [have received. But, if the question is only concerning the patience and long-suffering of God,

the wonderful interposition of his providence in

favor of an unworthy sinner, the power of his grace in softening the hardest heart, and the riches of his mercy in pardoning the most enormous and aggravated transgressions; in these respects I know no case more extraordinary than my own: and indeed most persons to whom I have related my story have thought it worthy of being preserved. a

I never gave any succinct account, in writing, of the Lord’s dealing with me, till very lately: for I was deterred, on the one hand, by the great difficulty of writing properly when self is concerned; on the other, by the ill use which persons of corrupt and perverse minds are often known to make of such instances. The Psalmist reminds us, that a reserve in these things 1s pro-

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per, when he says, “Come and hear, all ye ¢hat

<: God, and I will declare what he hath done

r my soul;” and our Lord cautions us not tor 3 * cast a. before swine.” The pearls of a

christian are, perhaps, his choice experiences of the Lord’s power ard love in the concerns of his soul; and these should not be; t all adventures nade public, lest we give occasion to earthly and grovelling souls to profane what they cannot understand. These were the chief reasons of my backwardness; but a few weeks since I yielded to the judgment and request of a much-. respected friend, and sent him a relation at large, in a series of eight letters. The event has been i. what I little expected: I wrote to one person; but my letters have fallen into many hands: amongst others, I find they have reached your notice; and, instead of blaming me for being too tedious and ’ circumstantial, which was the fault I feared I had committed, Yomare pleased to desire a still more distinct detail. As you and others of my friends apprehend my compliance with this request may t be attended with some good effect, may promote ’ the pleasing work of praise to our adorable Redeémer, or confirm the faith of some or other of his people, Iam willing to obey? I give up my own reasonings upon the inexpediency of so in- A considerable a person as myself adventuring in § so public a point of view. If God may be glori-

- fied on my behalf, and his children in any meagure comforted or instructed by what I have to.

. declare of his goodness, I shall be satisfied; and

am content to leave all other possible consequences of this undertaking in his hands who

does all things well.

I must again have recourse to my memory, as

I retained no copies of the letters you saw. So

far as I can recollect, what I then wrote I will

relate; but shall not affect a needless variety of phrase and manner, merely because those have

been already perused by many. I may, perhaps,

bee in some places, when repeating the same facts,

eX s ‘express myself in nearly the same words; yet I ‘propose, according to desire, to make this relation more explicit and particular than the former; especially towards the close, which I wound up hastily, lest my friend should be wearied. I hope you will likewise excuse me, if I do not strictly confine myself to narration, but ow and then intersperse such reflections as may offer while I am writing; and though you have signified your intentions of communicating what I send you to others, I must not, on this account, affect a conciseness and correctness, which is not my natural talent, lest the wholé should appear dry and constrained. I shall, therefore, if possible, think only of you, and write with that confidence and freedom which your friendship and candor deserve

. Ser This sheet may stand as a preface; and I see pose, as far as I can, to intermit many other en-” gagetnents, until I have completed the task you have assigned me. In the meantime I entreat the assistance of your prayers, that in this, and all my poor attempts, I may have a single eye to His glory who was lek call me out of rid darkness into the marvellous light of his Gospel.

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