Missionary Consecration
“The Western Academy is of ancient date among the colleges for Dissenters. It usually had eight students, partly supported by the King’s Head Society in London, and partly from other sources. My honoured pastor interested himself deeply about me, and obtained my admission. It was at that time under the watchful care and instruction of the Rev. James Small, Axminster, Devon. Into this school of the prophets I was cordially welcomed in the autumn of 1812. It was a fine retired, happy place for those who wished to be happy in it. Many and great were its advantages. One of these was, that the students formed part of the family, took their meals at the family table, and kneeled around the family altar. The presence of ladies always has a refining effect on young men, who, in general, need refining. This privilege we MISSIONARY COXSECRATIOX.
had. Mr. Small made a point of calling the students by name between five and six every morning, and a fine was levied on the person who was not down stairs before six o’clock. It gives me pleasure to recollect that I was never fined. I learned habits of punctuality which have been of use to me all through my life.
“In looking back on this movement, I feel that it is a very solemn matter for a young man of twenty-five to leave the business in which he has been brought up, and enter upon a life of study for the ministry. If he fail as a preacher he is ruined. His student’s life has unfitted him for returning again to business, and in this way many excellent men, who would have shone in secular life, have been compelled to drag out a miserable existence. Ministers cannot be too cautious in recommending young men to our colleges.”
“My Bideford friends considered it quite an era in the history of their Sunday-school, that one of their first teachers should become a minister. They loaded me with kindness on my departure, and always greeted me with sweet fraternal affection at every subsequent return.”
Nor did the young student fail to cherish tender reminiscences of these early friends and scenes. To his recent companion, Mr. Thomas Isaac, he writes from “Axminster,” on the 9th February, 1814: —” The revolving season forcibly reminds me of my first acquaintance with you — an acquaintance which, I trust, will be strengthened and matured even to eternity. It is now just six years since that memorable hour — ever-memorable, indeed, to me. Instead of saying with Job (on another occasion), ‘Let it not be joined unto the days of the year, let it not come into the number of the months,’ I would pray, ‘Lord, let it be engraven on my heart in indelible characters,’ for then I began to seek the Lord — then I began to live. I am astonished when I consider the innumerable mercies the Lord has conferred upon me since that period. Oh, that I could feel grateful as I ought!
“At times I can with great perspicuity trace the Lord’s hand in leading me to live with you, in drawing me to hear that good man
Mr. Rooker preach the glorious gospel, in sweetly constraining me to attend the prayer-meeting, and at last in bringing me to this place. And cannot you behold it is the Lord s doing? Then lift up a song of praise for me.”
At the midsummer vacation he returned for a short time to Bideford, and afterwards had the happiness of learning that his conversation had been the means of leading the daughter of a neighbouring farmer, whom he had frequently visited, to a life of devoted piety. The manner in which the decided character of this young person triumphed, by the power of God, over severe domestic persecution, and led to the conversion of her father and mother, and her brothers and sisters, as well as to the commencement and continued maintenance of evangelical light in a benighted parish, is strikingly depicted by Mr. KnilFs own pen, in the little narrative called “The Farmer and his Family.”
“On my return fiom Russia,” he observes, in the reminiscences,” I went to visit the farm on which the family resided. The venerable father was sitting in his arm-chair in front of the house, to see me arrive, and to give me the first welcome. As he approached me, with snow-white locks floating over his shoulders, he burst into tears, caught me by the hand, and with a faltering voice said, ‘Dear Mr. Knill, we are a whole family going to heaven now, and Betsy has been the means of it all.’
The period spent at Axminster was devoted to study, not in itself calculated to quicken the spiritual life; but his heart gave no sign of diminished sensibility. The peculiar ease which he afterwards displayed in touching and carrying with him the feelings of an auditory evinced itself even then, and under circumstances by no means such as predisposed to the expression of the emotions. It was the custom for the students, after the first year’s residence, to read a discourse in turn for the criticism of their compeers and tutor. When under skilful guidance, there is probably no better training for the actual duty of the pulpit. On the first occasion when Mr. Knill submitted a production to this ordeal, he selected as his text,” Ye who sometimes were far off are made nigh by the blood of Christ
and proceeded to illustrate the words from bis own experience, and to urge the claims of Christ to the gratitude of redeemed men, with such force and pathos, that several of the students, forgetting their judicial character, were melted to tears. The conclusion was followed by a long pause, after which the president, observing the general impression, and drying his own tears, rose and left the room, saying, “Brethren, criticism is disarmed to-day.”
In the month of April, 1814, a missionary meeting was held at Bridport, Dorset, a town about twelve miles distant from Axminster.
“Perhaps this was the first which had been held in that part of the country. Missionary meetings were great novelties then. I had never seen one, nor had any of my fellow-students. Happily for us the Rev. Mr. Saltern wrote to our tutor, inviting him over, and ’ bring the students with you, sir,’ said he; ‘it may do them good. The Rev. Dr. Waugh of London is going to preach. I should like them to hear him.’ So we all went to Bridport, and Dr. Waugh preached. He took for his text, ‘It shall come to pass in that day, that the great trumpet shall be blown, and they shall come which were ready to perish.’ His plan was to show, firsts that the heathen were perishing, and that they could not help themselves; second, that God, in His boundless love, had provided a remedy for them — the * blowing of the great trumpet, Then he enlarged in his own peculiar manner on the gospel, and its adaptation to the wants of sinners; and after a grand display of evangelical truth, he paused, and said, ‘My brethren, this great trumpet cannot blow itself, it must be sounded by men — redeemed, converted men — those who themselves have tasted the joys of pardoned sin, and who, from their own happy experience, can tell the heathen what a precious Saviour Jesus is. We want such men, and we must have them.’ He then looked around, as if wishing to fix his piercing eye on some object, and in melting tones said, * Is there in this congregation one young disciple of the Lord Jesus who has love enough in his heart to his Master, to say,” Lord, here am I, send me? I felt the appeal. It entered into my soul, and I silently said, ‘Lord, I will go.’ This was a solemn hour to me. I bless God for it,
and shall ever bless Him. The service ended, and the students were all invited to dine with the ministers; but I had no appetite for food. My heart was full. The family of our senior student, Mr. Hart, resided in Bridport. and from them I procured a little chamber, where I spent some hours alone in fasting and prayer. I have had that little room in my eye ten thousand times since, for there I spent some of the happiest moments of my life, in saying again to Him who redeemed me, ‘Lord, I will go.”
“Mr. Small sent for me next morning to converse with me about it; and when he found what were my feelings, he wrote to the secretary of the London Missionary Society to make inquiries. In the meantime, I went home to consult my honoured parents, and to endeavour to obtain their sanction. I had given them trouble enough about the army, and I wished not to wound their feelings again. My father heard me with great patience, and said, ‘I will throw no impediment in your way; but what will your mother say?’ I thought I was sure on that point, for she loved Jesus more than Christians in general do; but I was mistaken. My
mother’s feelings were too strong. She said, ‘Richard, how can you think of leaving me? I am advancing in years, and I have always comforted myself with the hope that you would be with me to pray with me, and to cheer me when I shall pass through the valley of the shadow of death. I cannot give my consent. You should have seen me under the clods of the valley first.’
“Here I was driven to my wit’s end. I knew that God never smiles on a son who breaks a parent’s heart. I could expect no blessing if I disobeyed so good a mother. But she betook herself to prayer, and at last prayer prevailed. She prayed for days, and nights too; and one morning, as I met her at her chamber door, the tears were dried up. Her countenance was again tranquil, and she caught me round the neck, and with a mother’s fond embrace, said, — ‘Now, my dear son, it is all settled; God has given me grace to say to you, Go; and I bless Him for putting it into your heart to go, and I adore Him for giving me an Isaac to offer on His altar. Go, my son, go;’ and from that hour until the day that she died, she did nothing but cheer me.”
That he had viewed the subject with as much prudence as zeal, may be gathered from a few lines to Mr. Walter Bowen of Bideford, dated Axminster, IGth April, 1814: —” Perhaps you have not forgotten that a spark of missionary fire was kindled in my bosom through the instrumentality of our dear Mr. Rooker; but now, sir, with unspeakable pleasure, I inform you that sjoarh is blown into a flame — a flame which, I hope, and pray, and trust, will burn increasingly bright and clear till my pulse shall cease to beat, and my disembodied spirit join the spirits of the just made perfect, where the righteous shall shine forth as the sun in the kingdom of their Father.
I have signified my intention to my revered tutor, who readily acquiesced, and kindly ofiTered to accelerate so desirable an object. As it is an unprecedented tiling at Axminster Academy, Mr. Small has written to the committee (which I particularly solicited), in order that I might have an honourable acquittal from hence, without which principle would not sufi’er me to go. I expect to hear the result in a few days, when it will be forwarded to the directors, and I hope my orders will soon arrive to go to Mr. Bogue’s, Gosport, or wherever they may think proper to send me. After reading this, you may be ready to ask, ‘Have you, my dear friend, thoroughly weighed the important matter V I will tell you, sir. I have been in the habit of asking myself such questions as these: —
“Can you leave your dear parents? — This is, indeed, a hard question: the ties of natural affection bind me fast, and many other things, better conceived than expressed, press sore upon me for their sakes. But if Jesus calls. I must obey; for ’ he that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.’ Yes, I can lave my parents.
“Can you part with friends? — My friends are dear to me; I love them with a Christian love, but I am not my friends yea, I am not my own, but Clirisfs. My friends could not purchase salvation for me, and I was totally incapable of effecting it myself; surely I am bought with a price, and bound to glorify God in my body and my spirit, which are His. Yes, I can leave my friends.
Cau you leave the enjoyments of your native country? — The comforts I am favoured with here are very great, and flesh and blood say, ‘Enjoy them a little longer.’ But, 0 my soul, confer not with flesh and blood. As for soul enjoyments, they are derived from the visits of my dear Redeemer, and He can visit my soul in the remotest regions. John was banished on the Isle of Patmos, but there he enjoyed peculiar manifestations of the Divine favour. Paul and Silas were thrust into the inner prison, and their feet made fast in the stocks, but Jesus drew near and caused them to burst into a song even at midnight. Then,
0 my soul, let the enjoyments of thy native country vanish when contemplatii the glory of God in the salvation of the heathen. Yes,
1 can leave this, too.
“Are your bodily powers equal to the arduous undertaking? — My body, indeed, is weak, but the Master whom I serve is the preserver of body as well as spirit. He is the great Physician, and will make me immortal till my work is done. It is a useful life I wish for, whether long or short, and consequently I devote all my powers to so good a eaiise. Then, such as my body is, Lord, I resign it to Thee; do with it as Thou pleasest. But, 0 my soul, the most important question remains to be answered: Art thou competent to so great, so arduous, so honourable a work? — Here stop and wonder. The prophet complained, ‘Who hath believed our report V and the apostle, under a sense of his weakness, exclaimed, * Who is sufficient for these things V And art thou greater than these? No; whilst I look to myself, I must despair; but while I look b’elievingly to Jesus, then I am strong, knowing that I can do all things through Christ strengthening me. Then do not be discouraged; look to the promises, they are more than suMcient for thee, and His strength shall be made perfect in thy weakness. 0 blessed Jesus, here am I, send me!
’ ‘Tis to my Saviour I would live,
To Him who for my ransom died.’”
The steps by which he closed this stage of his journey are indicated in the following communications — the first to Mr. Isaac, and the second to Mr. Rooker:
“Axminster, 30th May, 1814.
.... I haYG received a letter from Mr. Burder, secretary to the Missionary Society, which states a probability of my being sent for to visit Mr. Campbell in London, who is lately returned from the Cape. It is in contemplation, if I am accepted, to send me to the city of Lattakoo. Lord, support me! Believe me, my dear friend, I am almost overwhelmed, but I hope in His mercy, who has helped me hitherto. Entreat the sympathy and prayers of my dear Bideford friends, though I firmly believe I need not entreat them.”
“Islington, London, 1st September, 1814.
“Being about to leave London to-morrow, and having learnt from experience your concern for me, I avail myself of the pleasure of sending you a little information. My journey was not a very agreeable one, though the weather was fine, the views delightful, and my business big with importance. But we arrived in town at half-past seven on Saturday morning, and shortly after I found myself in the house of a mother in Israel. Here, sir, I was introduced to three brethren, a Dane, a Scotchman, and a Welshman. How refreshing the sio-ht! How cheerinof their discourse! For though they spoke broken English, yet they spoke the language of Canaan fluently and sweetly. Oh, my dear Mr. Rooker, how full of joy is the hope of spending an eternity with some of all nations, and kindreds, and people, and tongues, who shall all speak the same pure language, all join in the same harmonious song, and all unite in adoring our precious Redeemer.
“Last Monday, the committee met at Grocers’ Hall, No. 8 Old Jewry, when Mr. Evans, the Welshman, and myself, Y>’ere examined and approved: the other two had passed this before. It was resolved that we should all spend some time at Gosport — how long is not determined. Yesterday we were favoured with an interview with Mr. Campbell, at his own house. He kindly showed us a variety of curious things which he met with in his tour; he gave us a very pleasing and interesting account of his travels; he spoke in high terms of the salubrious air, the abundance of cattle, the beautiful
prospects, &c., which are peculiar to the neighbourhood of Lattakoo. He held up to view, also, a little of the dark side of the cloud; but we must go there to know it all.
“Most sincerely do I thank you, sir, and your dear people, for your great kindness to me at your prayer-meeting after I was gone; for valuable and numerous as the kindnesses are which I have received, both from minister and people, this outweighs them all.”