Exhortations to Cultivate Self-Acquaintance

Having showed you so much reason for this duty, let me now take leave to invite you all, to the serious study of yourselves. It is a duty past all controversy, agreed on by heathens as well as Christians, and urged by them in the general, though many of the particulars to be known are beyond their light. It brutifieth man to be ignorant of himself: “Man that is in honour, and understandeth not, (himself especially,) is as the beasts that perish.” Saith Boetius, “It is worse than beastly to be ignorant of ourselves, it being a vice in us, which is nature in them.”

Come home, you wandering, self-neglecting souls; lose not yourselves in a wilderness or tumult of impertinent, vain, distracting things; your work is nearer you; the country that you should first survey and travel, is within you; from which you must pass to that above you: when by losing yourselves in this without you, you will find yourselves, before you are aware, in that below you. And then (as Gregory speaks) he that was “a fool in sinning, will be wise in suffering!” You shall then have time enough to review your lives, and such constraining help to know yourselves, as you cannot resist. O that you would know but a little of that now, which then you must else know in that overwhelming evidence which will everlastingly confound you! And that you would now think of that for a timely cure, which else must be thought of endlessly in despair. Come home then, and see what work is there. Let the eyes of fools be in the corners of the earth I Leave it to men beside themselves, to live as without themselves, and to be still from home, and waste that time in other business, that was given them to prepare for life eternal. “The soul is more laudable that knows its own infirmity, than he that without discerning this doth search after the compass of the world, the courses of the stars, the foundations of the earth, and the heights of the heavens.” — Augusfi?ie. Dost thou delight in the mysteries of nature? Consider well the mysteries of thy own.” Some men admire the lol

heights of mountains, the huge waves of the sea, the great falls of the rivers, the compass of the ocean, and the circuit of the stars, and they pass by themselves without admiration.” The compendium of all that thou studiest without thee, is near thee, even within thee, thyself being the epitome of the world. If either necessity or duty, nature or grace, reason or faith, internal inducements, external repulses, or eternal attractives and motives, might determine the subject of your studies and contemplations, you would call home your lost, distracted thoughts, and employ them more on yourselves and God.

But before I urge this duty farther,” I must prevent the misapplication of some troubled souls. I must confess it is a grievous thing for a guilty soul to judge itself, and see its own deformity and danger: and I observe many troubled, humbled souls, especially where melancholy much prevails, are exceedingly prone to abuse this duty, by excess and misdoing it. Though wandering minds must be called home, we must not run into the other extreme, and shut up ourselves, and wholly dwell ou the motions of our own distempered hearts. Though straggling thoughts must be turned inward, and our hearts must be watched, yet must we not be always poring on ourselves, and neglect the rest of our intellectual converse. To pore too long on the disordered motions, the confused thoughts, the wants, the passions of our diseased minds, will but molest us, and cast us into greater disquiet and confusion. The words of Anselme notably express the straits that Christians are here put to,” O grievous strait!

If I look into myself, I cannot endure myself: if I look not into myself, I cannot know myself. If I consider myself, my own face affrightcth me: if I consider not myself, my damnation deceiveth me: if I see myself the horror is intolerable: if I see not myself, death is unavoidable.”

In this strait we must be careful to avoid both extremes; and neither neglect the study of ourselves, nor yet exceed in poring on ourselves. To be carelessly ignorant of ourselves, is to undo ourselves for ever. To be too much about ourselves, is to disquiet rather than to edify ourselves; and to turn a great and necessary duty into a great unnecessary trouble.

Consider, 1, That we have many other matters of great importance to study and know, when we know ourselves. We must chiefly study God himself, and all the books of Scripture, nature, and governing providence, which make him known. What abundance of great and excellent truths have we in all these to study! What time, what industry is necessary to understand them! And should we lay out all this time about our own hearts and actions, which is but one part of our study? What sinful omissions should we be guilty of, in the neglcctinf: of all these! It is indeed but the burying of our talent of understanding, to confine it to so narrow a compass as ourselves, and to omit the study of God, and his word and works, which are all, with delight and diligence, to be studied. We have also Christ, and his gospel mysteries and benefits to study. We have the church’s ease, its dangers, sufferings, and deliverances to study: we have the state of our neighbours and brethren to consider of; the mercies, and dangers, and sufferings, both of their souls and bodies: we have our enemies to think of with due compassion; and our duty to all these.

2. And as it is negligence and omission to be all at home, and pass by so great a part of duty; so is it a double frustration of our labour, and will make even this study of ourselves to be in vain. (1.) We cannot come, by all our study, to the true knowledge of ourselves, unless we also study other things besides ourselves. For we are related to God, as his creatures, as his subjects, and as his dependent children, as his redeemed, and his sanctified ones, or should be such. And if we know not God as Creator, Redeemer, and Sanctifier; as our Owner, Ruler, and Benefactor; and know not what his creation, redemption, sanciification, his title, government, and benefits mean, it is not possible that we should know ourselves. Mutual relations must be known together, or neither can be known.

(2.) And if we could know ourselves, and know no more, it were but to know nothing, and lose that knowledge: for this is but the entrance into wisdom, and the means and way to higher knowledge. This learning of our primer is lost, if we learn no farther; you are therefore to study and know yourselves, that you may advance to the knowledge of Christ and his grace, and be acquainted with the remedy of all that you find amiss at home: and that by Christ you may be brought unto the Father, and know God as your happiness and rest; you are not your own ultimate ends, and therefore must go farther in your studies than yourselves.

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3. We shall never attain to rectitude or solid comfort, unless our studies go farther than ourselves; for we are not the rule to ourselves, but crooked lines: and cannot know what is right and wrong, if we study not the rule as well as ourselves. And alas! we are diseased, miserable sinners. And to be always looking on so sad a spectacle, can bring no peace or comfort to the mind. To be still looking on the sore, and hearing only the cry of conscience, will be but a foretaste of hell. When we would be humbled, and have matter of lamentation, we must look homeward, where troubling corruptions grow. But if we would be comforted and lift up, we must look higher, to Christ and to his promises, and to everlasting life: our garden beareth no flowers or fruits that are so cordial.

Two sorts of persons have great need of this caution, that they dwell not too much on themselves. One is, poor n alancholy people, that can think of almost nothing else: their distemper disposeth them to be always poring on themselves, and fixing their thoughts on their sin and misery, and searching into all their own miscarriages, and making them worse than indeed they are: you cannot call off their thoughts from continual self-condemning, and musing on their own misdoings and unhappiness. They have a God, a Christ, a heaven, a treasure of precious promises to meditate on: and they cannot hold their thoughts to these, unless, as they aggravate their sin and sorrows, but live as if they had nothing to think on but themselves, and were made to be their own tormentors: day and night, even when they should labour, and when they should sleep, they are busy in a fruitless vexation of themselves. These poor afflicted souls have need to be called from the excessive study of themselves.

Another sort is, those Christians that are wholly taken up in inquiring, whether they have saving grace or not; while they neglect that exercise of their grace, in doing all the good they can to others, and following on the way of faithful duty, which might do more to their assurance than solitary trials.

The former sort, by overdoing this one part of their work, disable themselves for all the rest; they tire and distract their minds, and raise such fears as hinder their understandings, and cast their thoughts into such confusion, that they quite lose the command of them, and cannot gather them up for any holy work: yea, while they study nothing but themselves, they lose even the knowledge of themselves: they gaze so long upon their faults and wants, till they can see nothing else, and know no apprehensions, but dark and sad; and wilfully unlearn the language of thanksgiving and praise; and the burden of all their thoughts and speeches, is Miserable and Undone; as if there were for them no mercy, no help, no hope, but they were utterly forsaken, and cast off by God.

The other sort do so exceed in the measure of that self-love, which in itself is good, that they neglect the study of the love of God, and are still thinking what they are and have been, when they should consider what they must be. They spend so much time in trying their foundation, that they can make but little progress in the building. They are all day putting on their armour, and preparing their weapons, when they should be fighting. When they should instruct the ignorant, exhort the obstinate, confirm the weak, or comfort the afflicted, they are complaining of” their own ignorance, obstinacy, weakness, or affliction; and help not others, because they feel such need of help themselves. They understand not that it is one of the mysteries of godliness, that teaching others doth inform themselves, and the light which they bring in for others, will serve themselves to work by; and that reproving others doth correct themselves; and exhorting others doth prevail with themselves; and persuading the obstinate wills of others, doth tend to bend and resolve their own; and that comforting others, doth tend to revive and raise themselves: their own spirits may be a little revived, by the very smell of the cordials they prepare for others. In this case, giving is both begging and receiving. Doing good is not the least effectual kind of prayer; and that we may be so employed, is not the smallest mercy. Many a one hath thus grown rich by giving: many a one hath convinced himself, by confuting his own objections from another: and many a one hath raised and comforted himself, by offering comfort to others that have the same infirmities; and have banished their own excessive doubts and fears, by frequent compassionate answering the same in others, whose sincerity they have less suspected than their own.

None thrive more than they that grow in the sunshine of God’s blessing: and God blesseth those most that are the most faithful in his work: and the work of love is the work of God. To do good, is to be most like him j and they that are most like him, do best please him. In subordination to Christ, in whom we are accepted, we must, by his Spirit, be made thus acceptable in ourselves: we must be amiable if we will be loved. And those that God loveth best, and is most pleased with, are like to receive most plenteously from his love. It is necessary, therefore, to our own safety, and holiness, and consolation, that we look much abroad at the necessities of others, and study our brethren, and the church of God, as well as ourselves: that we “look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others.”

There may be somewhat of inordinate selfishness even about our souls; and sinful selfishness is always a losing course. As he that will be a self-saver, in point of estate, or honour, or life, taketh the ready way to lose them; so he that, for the saving of his soul, will confine all his care and charity to his own soul, taketh not the way indeed to save it. We keep not ourselves; we quicken not, we comfort not, we save not ourselves; but only as agents under Christ, manuring the land, and sowing the seed, to which he alone can give the blessing: it is not, therefore, our inordinate self-studying that will do it. With all our care, without his blessing, we cannot add one cubit to the stature of our graces: therefore, it must needs be our safest course, to be as careful and faithful as we can in duty, and lay out most of our study to please him; and then if we come not to assurance of his love, or discern not his image and grace upon us, yet we must trust him with our souls, and leave the rest to his care and goodness, that hath undertaken that none shall be losers by him, nor be ashamed, or have their hopes frustrated, that wait upon him: “Let us commit the keeping of our souls to him in well doing, as unto a faithful Creator.” “As the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters, — so our eyes, in a way of duty, must wait upon the Lord our God, till he have mercy upon us.” And though we “grow weary of crying, and our throat be dried, and our eyes fail while we wait for God,” yet “our hope is only in him, and therefore we must continue to wait upon him.” “And they that wait for him shall not be ashamed,”

It is not the pretended necessity of one work, that will excuse him that hath many as necessary to do; especially when they are conjunct in nature and necessity, and must go together, to attain their end. Concerning God, as we may well say that we must love and serve him only, and none but him, because we must love nothing but for his sake, and as a means to him, the end of all; and so, while it is God in all things that we love, we are more properly said to love God than the creature by that act, because he is the ultimate first intended end, and principal object of that love; and as the means, as a means, hath its essence in its relation to the end; so the love of the means, as such, is accordingly specified; and- so we may say of our study and knowledge of God, that nothing but God is to be studied or known; because it is God in the creature that must be studied. It is a defective similitude, as all are, to say, ‘As it is the face that we behold the glass for:’ for God is more in the creature than the face in the glass. But though all the means be united in the end, yet are they various among themselves. And therefore, though we must study, know, and love nothing but God, yet we must study, know, and love many things besides ourselves: the means that are many, must all be thought on.

All men will confess, that to confine our charity to ourselves, and to do good to no others, is unlike a Christian. To deny to feed and clothe our brother in his need, is to deny it unto Christ: and it will be no excuse, if we were able to say, ‘I laid it out upon myself.’ And the objects of our charity must be the objects of our thoughts and care: and it will not suffice for our excuse to say, ‘I was taken up at home, I had a miserable soul of my own to think on.’

And yet, if these self-studying souls, that confine almost all their thoughts to themselves, would but seek after God in themselves, and see his grace and benefits, it were the better; but, poor souls! in the darkness of temptation, they overlook their God; and most of their study of themselves, is to see Satan and his workings in themselves; to find as much of his image as the’y can, in the deformities or infirmities of their souls; but the image of God they overlook, and hardly will acknowledge. And so, as noble objects raise the soul, and amiable objects kindle love, and comfortable objects fill it with delight; and God, who is all in one perfection, doth elevate and perfect it, and make it happy; so inferior objects depress it; and loathsome objects fill it with distaste and loathing; and sad and mournful objects turn it into grief: and therefore, to be still looking on our miseries and deformities, must needs turn calamity anil woe into the temperament and complexion of the soul.

This much I thought needful to be spoken here, to prevent misundcrstaucling and misapplication; that while I am pressing you to study and know yourselves, I may not encourage any in extremes, nor tempt them to make an ill use of so great and necessary a doctrine. And, indeed, the observation of the sad calamity of many poor, drooping, afflicted souls, that are still poring excessively on their own hearts, commanded me not to overpass this caution. And yet, when I have done it, I am afraid lest those in the contrary extreme, will take encouragement to neglect themselves, by my reprehensions of those that are so unlike them.

And therefore I must add, to save them from deceit; 1. That it is but very few that are faulty in over-studying themselves, in comparison of the many thousands that err on the other hand, in the careless neglecting of themselves. 2. And that it is symptomatically and effectively far more dangerous to study yourselves too little than too much. Though it be a fault to exceed here, yet it is, for the most part, a sign of an honest heart to be much at home, and a sign of a hypocrite to be little at home and much abroad. Sincerity maketh men censurers of themselves; for it maketh them more impartial, and willing to know the truth of their condition; it cureth them of that folly, that before made them think that presumption shall deliver them, and that they shall be justified by believing promises of their own, though contrary to the word of God; yea, by believing the promises of the devil, and calling this a faith in Christ. They are awakened from that sleep, in which they dreamed that winking would save them from the stroke of justice, and that a strong conceit, that they shall not be damned, will deliver them from damnation; and that they are safe from hell if they can but believe that there is no hell, or can but forget it, or escape the fears of it. These are the pernicious conclusions of the ungodly; discernible in their lives, and intimated in their presumptuous reasonings, though too gross to be openly and expressly owned: and therefore they are indisposed to any impartial acquaintance with themselves.

But grace recovereth men from this distraction, and makes them know, that the judgment of God will not follow the conceits of men; that the knowledge of their disease is necessary to their cure, and the knowledge of their danger is necessary to the prevention; and that it is the greatest madness to go on to hell, for fear of knowing that we are in the way; and to refuse to know it, for fear of being troubled at the news.

And an upright soul is so far fallen out with sin, that he taketh it seriously for his enemy, and therefore is willing to discover it, in order to its destruction, and willing to search after it in order to a discovery. And he hath in him some measure of the heavenly illumination, which maketh him a child of light, and disposeth him to love the light, and therefore Cometh to it, “that his deeds may be made manifest.” Hypocrites are quick-siglited in discovering the infirmities of others; but at home they shut the windows, and draw the curtains, that they may not be disturbed or frightened in their sin: darkness suits the works of darkness. It is a good sign when a man dare see his own face in the glass of God’s word; and when he dare hear his conscience speak. I have ever observed it in the most sincere-hearted Christians, that their eye is more upon their own hearts and lives, than upon others: and I have still observed the most unsound professors to be least censorious and regardful of themselves, and hardly drawn to converse at home, and to pass an impartial judgment on themselves.

Hence, therefore, you may be informed of the reason of many other differences between sincere believers and the ungodly. Why is it that the sincere are so ready to discourse about matters of the heart; and that they so much relish such discourse; and that they have so much to say when you come to such a subject? It is because they know themselves in some good measure. They have studied, and are acquainted with the heart, and therefore can talk the more sensibly of what is contained in a book which they have so often read. Talk with them about the matters of the world, and perhaps you may find them more simple and ignorant than many of their neighbours: but when you talk about the corruptions of the heart, and its secret workings; the matter, and order, and government of the thoughts, and affections, and passions; the wants and weaknesses of believers; the nature and workings of inward temptations; the ways of grace, and of the exercise of each grace; the motions and operations of the Spirit upon the heart; the breathings of love and desire after God; the addresses of the soul to Christ by faith, and dependence on him, and receivings from him; about these secret matters of the heart, he is usually more able in discourse than many learned men that are unsanctified.

And hence it is that upright, self-observing souls are so full in prayer, and able to pour out their hearts so enlargedly before the Lord, in confessing their sins, and petitioning for grace, and opening their necessities, and thanking God for spiritual mercies. Some that are themselves acquainted with themselves, and the workings of grace, despise all this, and say, ‘It is but an ability to speak of the things which they are most used to.’ I doubt not but mere acquired abilities and custom may advance some hypocrites, to pray in the language of experienced Christians. And I doubt not but natural impediments, and want of right education, may cause many to want convenient expressions, that have true desires. But the question is, from whence it comes to pass, that so great a number of those that are most careful and diligent for their souls, are so full in holy conference and prayer, when very few others that excel them in learning and natural parts, have any such ability? And doubtless the chief reason is, that the care and study of these Christians hath been most about their spiritual estate; and that which they set their hearts upon, they use their tongues upon: generally it cannot be imagined, why they should use themselves to those studies and exercises which procure those abilities, but that they more highly esteem, and most seriously regard, the matters that concern their salvation, which are the subject. I doubt not but God bestoweth his gifts upon men in the use of means, and that it is partly use that maketh men able and ready in these services of God. But what reason can be given, why one part of men use themselves to such employments, and another part are unable through disuse, but that some do set their hearts upon it, and make it their business to know themselves, their sins, and wants, and seek relief, when by the others all this is neglected? Some hypocrites may be moved by lower ends, both in this and in other duties of religion; but that is no rule for our judging of the intentions of the generality, or of any that are sincere. As a man that hath lived in the East or West Indies, is able to discourse of the places and people which he hath seen; and perhaps another, by a map or history, may say somewhat of the same subject, though less distinctly and sensibly; but others can say nothing of it: so a man of holy experience in the mysteries of sanctification, that is much conversant at home, and acquainted with his own heart, is able (if other helps concur) to speak what he feels, to God and man, and from his particular observation and experience, to frame his prayers’ and spiritual conference; and a hypocrite, from reading and common observation, may do something affectedly that is like it: but careless, self-neglecting worldlings, are usually dumb about such matters, and hear you as they do men of another country, that talk in a language which they do not understand, or at least cannot make them any answer in.

But if any of you will needs think more basely and maliciously of the cause of holy prayer and conference in believers, let us leave them, for the present, (to the justification of Him that gave them the spirit of suppHcation, which you reproach,) and let us only inquire what is the reason that men that can discourse as handsomely as others, about worldly matters, have nothing to say, (beyond a few, cold, affected words, which they have learned by rote,) either to God or man, about the matters of the soul, the methods of the Spirit, the workings of a truly penitent heart, or the elevations of faith, and the pantings of desire after God. Why are you dumb when you should speak this language, and frequently and delightfully speak it? Is it because your reason is lower than those men’s that speak it, whom you despise? No; you are wise enough to do evil: you can talk of your trades, your honours, or employments, your acquaintance and correspondences all the day long; you are more wordy about these little things, than the preachers themselves, that you count more tedious, are about the greatest. You are much longer in discoursing of your delusory toys, than the lovers of God, whose souls long after him, are in those prayers, which trouble you with their length. Many a time I have been forced to hear your dreaming, incoherent dotage: how copious you are in the words that signify no greater matters than flesh-pleasing, or fanciful honours and accommodations. As the ridiculous orator, “you strain and gape an hour, or a day together, to say nothing.” Set all the words of a day together, and peruse them at night, and see what they are worth: there is little higher than visible materials, than meat and drink, and play and compliment, than houses, or lands, or domineering affections, or actions, in many hours or days’ discourse. I think of you sometimes, when I see how ingeniously and busily children do make up their babies of clouts, and how seriously they talk about them, and how every pin and clout is matter of employment and discourse, and how highly they value them, and how many days they can unvveariedly spend about them. Pardon my comparison: if you repent not of your discourses and employments more than they, and do not one day call yourselves far worse fools than them, then let me be stigmatized with the most contumelious brand of folly.

It is not then your want of natural faculties and parts, that makes you mute in the matters of God and your salvation, when men of meaner parts than you do speak of those things with the greatest freedom and delight.

And surely it is not for want of an ingenuous education; as you would take it ill to be thought below them in natural endowments, so much more in those acquisitions and furniture of the mind, which comes by due culture of your faculties. You would disdain, in these, to be compared with many poor rustics and mechanics, that are almost as fluent in speaking of the great things of immortality, as you are in talking of your transient occurrences, your sublunary felicities, and the provisions of your appetites. What, then, can be the cause of this dumb disease, but that you are unacquainted with yourselves? And as you have not a new birth, and - a divine nature, and the Spirit of Christ, to be either the spring and principle, or the matter of your discourse; so you have not the due knowledge of your sin and misery, which should teach you in the language of serious penitents, before you have the language of justified believers.

If you say again, ‘It is because we have not been used to this kind of speech.’ I answer, And whence is it that you have not been used to it? If you had known the greatness and goodness of the Lord, as sensibly as they, would not you have used to pray to him, and speak of him as well as they ?• If you had known, and considered your sin, and wants, and miseries, or dangers, as well as they, would you not have been used to beg mercy, pardon, and relief, and to complain of your distress as much as they? If you did as highly value the matters of eternal consequence as they do, and laid them to heart as seriously as they, would not your minds and hearts have appeared in your speeches, and made you use yourselves to prayer and holy conference as well as others?

If you say, ‘That many have that within them which they are not able to express, or which they think not meet to open unto others,’ I answer,

1. As to ability, it is true of those that have excessive bashfulness, melancholy, or the like; and of those that are so lately converted, that they have not had time to learn and use themselves to a holy language: but what is this to them that are of as good natural parts, and free elocution, as other men, and suppose themselves to have been true Christians long?

2. And, as to the point of prudence which is pleaded for this silence, it is so much against nature, and so much against the word of God, that there is no room at all for this pretence, unless it be for inferiors, or such as want an opportunity to speak to their superiors, or to strangers; or, unless it be when the thing would be unseasonable.

Nature hath made the tongue the index of the mind; especially to express the matters of most urgency and concern. Do you keep silent on the matters which you most highly esteem; which you most often think of; which you take your life and happiness to consist in; and which you are most deeply affected with, and prefer before all other matters of the world? What a shameful pretence is it, for those that are dumb to prayer and holy conference, for want of any sense of their condition, or love to God, which should open their lips, to talk on them? Is it because their prudence directeth them to silence? When they hold not their tongues about those matters, which they must confess are ten thousandfold less regardable, they can discourse, unweariedly, about their wealth, their sport, their friend, their honour, because they love them: and, if a man should here tell them, that the heart is not to be opened or exercised by the tongue, they would think he knew not the natural use of heart or tongue: and yet, while they pretend to love God above all, they have neither skill nor will to make expression of it, you strike them dumb when you turn the stream of conference that way; and you may almost as well bid them speak in a strange language, as pray to God from the sense of their necessities, and yet they say, their hearts are good.

Let the word of God be judge, whether a holy, experienced heart should hide itself, and not appear in prayer and holy conference by the tongue. “Pray continually.” “Christ spake a parable to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not wax faint.” “Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known unto God.”

And how they must pray, you may gather from 2 Chron. vi. 29. In case of dearth, pestilence, mildews, locusts, caterpillars, enemies, sicknesses, or sores, “Then what prayer or supplication soever shall be made of any man, or of all the people, when every one shall know his own sore, and his own grief, and shall spread forth his hands in this house, then hear thou from heaven,” &<;. I am not speaking of the prescribed prayers of the church, nor denying the lawfulness of such in private; but if you have no words but what you say by rote, and pray not from the knowledge of your own particular sore and grief, it is because you are too much unacquainted with yourselves, and strangers to those hearts, where the greatest of your sores and griefs are lodged.

And whether good hearts should he opened in, holy conference (as well as prayer), you may easily determine from the command of God, “As every man hath received the gift, so minister the same one to another, as good stewards of the manifold grace of God. If any man speak, let him speak as the oracles of God.” “Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” “Exhort one another daily, while it is called to-day, lest any of you be hardened through H 45 the deceitfulness of sin.” “The mouth of the righteous spcakcth wisdom, and his tongue talkcth of judgment: the law of his God is in his heart,” &c. “Let my mouth be filled with thy praise and with thy honour all the day.” “The mouth of a righteous man is a well of life. The lips of the righteous feed many.” And Christ himself decideth it expressly, “Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth spcaketh. A good man, out of the good treasure of his heart, bringeth forth good things.”

For a man that hath no heart to prayer or holy conference, but loathes them, and had rather talk of fleshly pleasures, to pretend that yet his heart is good, and that God will excuse him for not expressing it; and that it is his prudence, and his freedom from hypocrisy, that maketh his tongue to be so much unacquainted with the goodness of his heart, this is but to play the hypocrite to prove that he is no hypocrite, and to cover his ignorance in matters of his salvation, with the expression of his ignorance of the very nature and use of heart and tongue, and to cast by the laws of God, and his own duty, and cover this impiety with the name of imidowe. If heart and tongue be not used for God, what do you either with a heart or tongue?

The case is plain, to men that can see that it is your strangeness to yourselves, that is the cause that you have little to say against yourselves, when you should confess your sins to God; and so little to say for yourselves, when you should beg his grace; and so little to say of yourselves, when you should open your hearts to those that can advise you: but that you see not that this is the cause of your dumbness, who see so Utile of your own corruptions, is no wonder, while you are so strange at home. Had you but so much knowledge of yourselves as to see that it is the strangeness to yourselves that maketh you so prayerless and mute; and so much sense as to complain of your darkness, and be willing to come to the light, it were a sign that light is coming in to you, and that you are in a hopeful way of cure. But when you neither know yourselves, nor know that you do not know yourselves, your ignorance and pride are likely to cherish your presumption and impiety, till the light of grace, or the fire of hell, have taught you better to know yourselves.

2. And here you may understand the reason why people fearing God, are so apt to accuse and condemn themselves, and to be too much cast down; and why they that have cause of greatest joy, do sometimes walk more heavily than others. It is because they know more of their sinfulness, and take more notice of their inward corruptions and outward failings, than presumptuous sinners do of theirs. Because they know their faults and wants, they are cast down; but when they come further to see their interest in Christ and grace, they will be raised up again. Before they are converted, they usually presume, as being ignorant of their sin and misery: in the infancy of grace they know these, but yet languish for want of more knowledge of Christ and mercy. But he that knoweth fully both himself and Christ, both misery and mercy, is humbled and comforted, cast down and exalted. As a man that never saw the sea, is not afraid of it; he that seeth H 2 it but afar off, and thinks he shall never come near it, is not much afraid of it; he that is drowned in it, is worse than afraid; he that is tossed by the waves, and doubteth of ever coming safe to harbour, is the fearful person; he that is tossed, but hath good hopes of a safe arrival, hath fears that are abated or overcome with hope: but he that is safe landed is past his fears. The first is like him that never saw the misery of the ungodly; the second is like him that seeth it in general, but thinks it doth not belong to him; the third is like the damned, that are past remedy; the fourth is like the humbled, doubting Christian, that seeth the danger, but doth too much question or forget the helps; the fifth is like the Christian of a stronger faith, that sees the danger, but withal seeth his help and safety; the sixth is like the glorified saints, that are past the danger.

Though the doubting Christian know not his sincerity, and therefore knoweth not himself so well as the strong believer doth, yet, in that he knoweth his sinfulness and unworthiness, he knoweth himself better than the presumptuous world.