Money Bequeathed by Parents to Their Children
“And Manoah said, Now let thy words come to pass: how shall we order the child? and what shall we do unto him?” — Judges xiii. 12.
It comes out incidentally, but not the less certainly, in the teaching of the Lord, that parents are in some matters naturally capable of making the best choice for their offspring. “Ye being evil know how to give good gifts unto your children.” — (Luke xi. 13.) Although they are evil, there are some things in which they can act aright. Sin has not unfitted man for every kind of action. The will is depraved, and the understanding darkened; but there are certain instincts implanted in nature for good that remain in force still. What man has in common with the brutes — certain tendencies that contribute to the well-being of the animal economy — may be trusted, even when the higher faculties are deranged. If the question relate to the kind of food that should be given to
(149)
his child — whether apiece of “bread or a stone, whether a fish or a serpent — the man is capable of judging. He may, in certain extreme cases, become so depraved as to do evil even there; but still he knows well enough what is good for his child, and as a general rule he yields to this parental instinct, and acts according to his knowledge. Like the instincts of the lower animals, the trustworthy knowledge in man has respect to the immediate necessities of the body. It cannot look far forward. Whenever you enter the domain of the higher reason, man is exceedingly apt to err. “When he begins to exercise those powers which distinguish him from meaner creatures, he misses the mark very frequently, and very far. That part of his being has been more deranged by sin. It does not perform its office aright in the human economy.
When a parent looks forward and attempts to provide for the future of his child, — when he essays to shape the course of a young immortal committed to his care, he is more at a loss than in the matter of choosing what food should be given to a hungry infant. It is when a man is called to do for his offspring what the lower creatures cannot do, that he most signally fails. He is insufficient for these things.
It is an instinct of the new nature, a mental habit of a believing man, whenever be comes to a matter too difficult for himself, to ask help of God; when, from any cause, his heart is overwhelmed, his constant cry is, “Lead me to the Rock that is higher than I.” When a Christian parent thinks how much more is required of him in regard to his children than to give them wholesome food, — when he thinks of the influence of parental training and example, not only on this life, but on the preparation for a coming world, — when he considers how much is to be done, and how incapable he is of doing it, he will be constrained to ask the wisdom that is from above.
Earnestly and simply did Manoah take the readiest way of ascertaining the mind of the Lord regarding the up-bringing of his promised offspring. Addressing the messenger who had borne to him the glad tidings, he said, “How shall we order the child, and how shall it be done unto him?” Under the dispensation of the gospel and the ministration of the Spirit, it is our duty to go and do likewise. When, in the matter of ordering children for time and eternity, we feel ourselves unfit, we must take the means which the better dispensation affords us for getting help from the Lord. We must search the Word, and ask the Spirit to teach us out of it how it should be done unto the child. What I know not, teach thou me.
This parental anxiety has reference to the whole treatment of the child. It comprehends the education in childhood, the profession to he chosen in youth, and the provision to he left behind when you die. It has reference to the child’s health and station in society, to the development of his mind, and the renewal of his nature; it has reference to the influence on him which may be exerted by society, by learning, by wealth. In short, the intelligent and affectionate Christian parent’s anxiety about his child, reaches to every thing that may affect that child for good or evil, in body or soul.
Of the many influences which bear on the child’s well-being, and which the parent may in some measure control, I select at present only one. I limit the question to one object, and read it, How shall we order the child in regard to money f The estimate, the acquisition, the possession, the use, the loss of money, have a very material influence on the character, and station, and happiness of our children, in youth and onward to age. In these, as in other matters, parents have much in their power. By their method of ordering the child in these things, they may do much good or much evil. Great benefit will accrue to the family if the parents ascertain the mind of the Lord, and act on it, in arrangements regarding the acquisition and disposal of money.
From the nature of the subject, our remarks must be of a somewhat miscellaneous character; but in order to give them some definite form, we shall arrange them under the three following heads: —
I. Training in early childhood.
II. The choice and opening up of a path for active life.
HI. Portions amassed by parents, and bequeathed at death to their children.
I. In respect of money, how shall we order the child — the little child? At first sight, the subject may seem out of place here. How can you lecture an infant either on the proper value of money, or on the preposterous value that is often foolishly attached to it? Every thing in its own place and time. You are not to communicate to the child at first all your own matured conclusions on these subjects; but you must have matured conclusions on these subjects before you are fit for training your child. It requires one with a ripe judgment on the whole case to impart a safe direction to the infant mind, as it enters on the most elementary ideas. It requires one who knows the whole way to lead another over the steps of it. It is as necessary that the first steps be in a right direction as that the last should be so. The first openings of intelligence in childhood are the commencement of the notions, and principles, and habits, that will regulate the life. It is of vital importance that education on all subjects that concern life should begin early.
Of all the temporal things with which your child will come into contact in life, it is probable that none will exert a greater influence on him than money. The formation of his earliest conceptions regarding it should not be left to chance. Since your child must some day come into collision with that mighty agent, you ought, as far as it is in your power, to mould his mind so that the inevitable collision will be safe, and even profitable to him.
A ship making way through the sea, and leaving no track of its path, is in many features like an immortal being moving over the course of time. The wind-distended sails are the motive impulses of the soul, urging the immortal on. The rudder is the will, giving direction to his course. The compass is the conceiving, judging mind. According to that mind’s conceptions, the active will directs the motion to the right hand or to the left. The currents, rushing now this way and now that, strong and impetuous, are like those temptations that are in the world, from many opposite quarters secretly besetting the soul. The rocks and shoals are instruments of perdition to those who are driven away by their lusts. If you have successfully breasted these currents hitherto, and cleared these rocks, certain it is you have seen some of goodly promise, who began the voyage with you, making shipwreck there. In especial, the love of money — perhaps you have yourselves felt the force of that current, and seen others caught in it, and cast away. Others you have seen grazing the rock of perdition, and “scarcely saved.” After all this experience, if you should have any share in fitting out another ship for the same voyage, you would fain touch the magnet, and give it a bias in the direction of safety, against the current which you know to be strong. The mind of your little child is the directing compass of a ship that must stem these currents. Impress thereon a bias against the danger. Begin early to influence the infant mind. Instrumentally, the safety of the course and the glad arrival depend much on the start that your child may get from a parent’s hand.
Show the child early the use of money — its use in obtaining necessaries, and in promoting works of benevolence. Train the child in the right direction as to the estimate of money, as to its use, and as to the objects on which it should be expended. In after life he will have much to do with it — teach him betimes to handle it aright. It is of much practical importance that young children should be accustomed themselves to have, to keep, and to use money. They should not only by precept be taught, but by experienced trained, to know that it is wrong to throw it uselessly away, and to know the blessedness of giving for the good of those that need. There is more power than most of us are yet aware of in the practice of letting children have some pence of their own, to be laid out according to their own judgment, or given in charity on the impulse of their own will. Of course, there will be a continuous effort to imbue the child’s mind with correct ideas, but there should not be direct interference with the freedom of his act. I would rather see an occasional mistake, which might afterwards be turned to good account, than make him a mere agent in executing my order. It is not his hand, but his will that is to be exercised, and influenced, and trained. It is but a little act — the miniature, as it were, of a good deed; but it derives its importance from being the act of a little man — one who will soon be acting a man’s part on the wide arena of the world. The infant is the germ of the man. The infant’s habits, and likings, and actings, are the rivulet, already settling its direction, which will soon swell into the strong stream of life.
II. In respect of money, how shall we order the youth as to the choice and opening up of his path in life? My object is no cynical fault-finding with existing things — no exaggerated condemnation of all my neighbors, and of every thing they do. I would like to expose your own errors with the human kindliness that will not repel, and yet with the faithfulness that will not deceive you. I bid you consider what your aim has been in the choice of openings for your children. Has your conduct in this matter been like the worshippers of God, or of Mammon? This is one of the things pointed out in a preceding discourse, in which the right and the wrong approach and seem to blend imperceptibly into each other. It is difficult to discover where the line lies that separates between the desire of an honest livelihood, and the miser’s lust of gain. Yet there is such a line, though we may experience difficulty in discerning it. God knows it, though we do not. This uncertainty should increase our watchfulness. The wary seaman will give an undefined sunken rock a good offing. He will take care to err on the safe side. The general rule is, “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added.” If this law were faithfully carried into practice, we would be safe. Deal honestly with yourselves when the prospect of an advantageous settlement appears. Judge righteous judgment, first as to the facts of the case, whether the money-interest and the soul’s interest be in opposition. Then, secondly, if so, judge which of the two should be allowed to go to the wall. Does the soul’s safety overrule the prospect of wealth? or does the prospect of wealth silence your anxieties about the soul’s safety?
If your child should be cast away by the temptations to which you exposed him, what a living worm are you preparing to feed upon your own heart! One’s spirit melts at the very thought.
In the management of your families, whether is the desire to make them rich, or the desire to have them saved, the greater power? The Lord is surely at this day requiring of his disciples that they shall take a side, as between his sendee and that of Mammon. He requires of us to let it be seen in the world and felt in our household, that we value him more than money. We may have been amazed at the mingled perfidy and stupidity of Judas, when we have seen him weighing Christ and his own soul against the miserable thirty pieces of silver. But there are more traitors than one among the disciples of Jesus. He is still betrayed in the house of his friends. In the balance of parental anxieties, lwvv often yet is silver preferred to the Holy One!
All of us who place our hope of salvation in the Eternal Son of God avouch him to be our Head. He is the Head not only of the church, and of the world for the church, but also the Head of every man who is a member of the church. To be the Head is not an empty name. The confession of it on our part is mere hypocrisy unless it be operative, predominating, controlling. Of necessity some one must rule in your household; and if ye say to Jesus, “Lord, Lord,” while the love of money shapes all your family arrangements, what are you doing but choosing the silver and betraying the Lord?
I do not ask any parent to bind his son to a poor trade, if a more profitable one is within his reach; but I demand of every parent, as he owes allegiance to the King of kings, that he have and manifest a supreme concern for the spiritual life of his children, and that, under the guidance of this ruling passion, he frame his plans and make his arrangements for their outset in the world. If one aim has an actual supremacy, others will easily glide into subordinate positions. If the eye be single, the whole body will be full of light; but a double-minded man is unstable in all his ways. Unstable, indeed, is the way of that man who maintains a Christian profession, and yet makes money his chief end. His path is uneasy, especially within his own house. His family observe his inconsistency, and he lives under the fear that they will observe it. He hides it as well as he can, and yet manifests the consciousness of hypocrisy detected. Perhaps this is in part the reason why sometimes the sons of even eminent professors of religion turn out irreligious men. I confess it is hard to be consistent in these matters. It is always hard to crucify the flesh. It is hard to cut off a right hand; but it is better to endure that hardness than to let the bands of covetousness compass about your soul, until they grow into chains of everlasting darkness.
Under the head of provision made for an outset in life, the subject of matrimonial alliance deserves special notice. Here, again, I throw in the caveat, that I intend no morose opposition to nature. I wage no war with the instincts of the species. I would “live and let live.” I am not your enemy as to the enjoyments of time; but I must tell you the truth for the sake of your eternity. The rich may marry as well as the poor. In this they sin not. But to marry for the sake of money is a degradation of the human being, and a prostitution of the good ordinance of God. It is fraught with danger to present peace and future salvation. Filthy lucre! Never does the love of gain appear more loathsome than when it stalks forth, peering and prying into societies and families in quest of a fortune to determine a marriage. It is woman — soul and body made by God, fearfully and wonderfully made, — it is woman that is an help-meet for man, and not money, the work of his own hands. History indicates that the Lord in providence peculiarly defends the integrity of his own appointment in marriage. I know of nothing in which sin more surely finds the sinner out than in this. In many cases, occurring from day to day on the wide theatre of the world, and exposed to public observation, the fortune-hunter is bitten to the quick. The man who chooses a wife, as other people would choose a purse, according to the amount of money it contains, is running his head against one of the fixtures inserted by the Almighty in the constitution of things. In that constitution there is a self-acting apparatus of retribution. The rash step of the selfish transgressor has set the machine in motion. Its unseen lever is lifted over his head. In due time it will fall, and it will not miss the mark. He will be left to drag out a life of disappointment — to pine unpitied in an unhappy home.
III. How shall we order the child in respect to the acquisition and accumulation of money to be bequeathed as his portion f Neither on this head do I wage war against the affections of nature. I do not wish any parent to love his child less. I count it both unnatural and ungodly to disinherit children in order to gratify a parent’s dislike, or his whim, or his superstition. I speak as to Christian parents who love their children, and who desire to love them in the Lord. I assume that your chief earthly concern is for your children, and that your weightiest care for time is how you may do best for them during your life, and at your death. Assuming all this, I invite your attention to that most difficult and interesting question, How can you make your money most useful to you?’ children?
Beware of tacitly acting on the supposition that the more money you leave to them, the more good you will do to them. Kone, I know, would entertain this principle, and announce this formula as the rule of his life; but the greatest practical dangers arise from the tacit assumption of a principle which you would repudiate if it were formally proposed. Many parents do act in the same way as they would if the rule of their life were to add as much as possible to the fortune of their children. This course is obviously unwise. When we come to particulars, however, we are met by the difficulty of laying down a rule that will apply to all cases. If one should reply, Granted that parents who have much in their power should set a limit to the amount to be bequeathed to their families, but what is that limit? I cannot answer that question. The question admits of as many answers as there are families in the world. AVe cannot specify a sum, and say it is lawful for a Christian parent to bequeath so much to his child, but unlawful to exceed it. But it does not follow from this that a Christian is at liberty to scrape together as much money as he can during his life, and simply bequeath it to his children when he comes to die. Although no specific rule can be laid down, some useful suggestions may he given.
I speak chiefly in reference to a mercantile community, and to the disposal of money by the persons who have acquired it. The law of entail places the greater part of the heritable property of this country beyond our category. The possessor for the time being has no power to alienate. I speak of those who have unrestrained power, and consequently are under undivided responsibility. A man of wealth should consider well before he leave a large fortune to his son. It may in some cases be safely done; but it is not to be done as a thing of course. If you have accumulated the money, and not trusted yourself with the spending of it, do you think it likely that your heirs will use it more wisely than you would have done? For myself, I think if by my skill and industry I had acquired a large sum of money, I would like to have a hand in the spending of it. It would probably be as usefully scattered abroad by the hand that made it, as by the hand that merely got it. There are two questions closely connected here. There is, first, the good of the community in the proper use of money; and, secondly, the safety of young persons into whose power it has fallen. Generally these two go together. A right solution of the one will in most cases be found to involve a right solution of the other. If money is foolishly spent, the person spending it is greatly injured. For the sake of his child, as well as with a view to the right disposal of his money, a parent should not rashly let an accumulated treasure drop into the lap of an inexperienced youth. You would not spread a press of sail on a ship, unless you had previously satisfied yourself that it had been rendered steady by a sufficient weight of ballast. So should parents consider the character and capacity of their children, and not be instrumental in causing their shipwreck by giving them more than they can manage. And as to the cruelty of leaving large fortunes to unprotected orphan girls, it is difficult to speak of it with coolness. It is like spreading rank carrion round the defenceless lamb, to attract the vultures to their prey. Forthwith the foul swarm may be seen hovering near, in the shape of Popish priests, or profligate wooers, or both together. Seldom is the terror of the law sufficiently strong or vigilant to scare them away.
In point of fact, within our view, on the surface of society, the injury done to youth by large fortunes bequeathed seems greatly to preponderate
over the good. A very large proportion of the persons now in eminent and honorable stations m this city have risen by their own exertions, and comparatively few have stepped easily upon the fortunes that were left to them. I suppose you will find a greater number of youths who have tumbled down over large money portions, than of youths who have risen to eminence by aid of them. Any one who has been acquainted with mercantile society in the city during the last generation, could write out a goodly list of honorable and prosperous citizens who inherited no wealth, and another list, equally lengthened, comprising broken-down sons of wealthy sires.
The example of a judicious but generous expenditure of money by a parent, is a more precious legacy to his child than all the accumulations that parsimony and pride could bequeath. There is a law by which parsimony in a parent generally defeats its own end. There is a rule of contraries often observed in the habits of father and son in regard to money. If a son is brought up in a family where money is too closely kept, he feels uneasy under the unnatural contraction, and as soon as his father’s breath is out, he bounds for relief to the opposite extreme.
Finally, a good rule for Christian parents is to let prayer and pains always go together. In so far as he labors to provide for the education and the comfort of his children, especially those who are not likely to be able to gain their own livelihood, a father is at liberty to ask God’s blessing on his efforts. But when one has already amassed many thousands, and is striving to amass more and more, to be left as a portion to his children, he would do well to add prayer to his pains. Perhaps he will find it difficult to pray for more thousands and tens of thousands to be left behind him. Perhaps the request, if he makes an effort to be particular, will startle him; and clearly a Christian is not in a right position if he is laboring for any thing for which he cannot pray. Let us remember that we and our children are under law to Christ, and on our way to the judgment. Let us act under the power of a world to come. Regarding money, like other talents, the command of the Lord is, not acquire and bequeath, but occupy. To spend life in gathering his hoard together, and then leave it in the lump to his successor, is the part of a fool. The care of a wise man is to use it well. To use his money well during his own life, is at once the best service to God which a parent can get out of money, and the most valuable legacy which he can transmit to his child.
In uttering these warnings regarding the love of money, I have all along felt my call clear, and my footing firm. The church and the community need a reproof on that subject; and the Bible contains plain reproofs suited to the case. It is a spurious spirituality that would forbid such themes as unworthy of a place in a preached gospel. The blessed Jesus admitted these things into his preaching, and why should they be excluded from ours? Whatever hinders Christ’s kingdom within us, is a legitimate subject of address from the pulpit. The whole counsel of God must be unfolded, to meet the whole machinery of Satan. If we collect all our strength at the centre, leaving the flank exposed, the enemy will turn our position there, and overwhelm us. I have been endeavoring to strengthen a portion of the defence that seems to be yielding in these days, where the enemy seems ready to burst in like a destroying flood.*
[ * The Preacher seems painfully aware that he was urging an unwelcome topic. He apprehends it will be thought a subject unsuited to the sacred desk. But his theme had been chiefly a denunciation of covetousness. If that had been unwelcome to the ears of the wealthy occupants of his pews in the great city of Glasgow, noted for its riches, its intelligence, and its enterprise, how would their complacency have been disturbed if the orator, deserting the negative teaching of his subject, had taken for his theme,” Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself’’! Pursuing the leadings of this positive
If any are disposed to say, “Money is not the material for making sermons of; let us hear a sublimer theme; let us have the fulness of Christ poured out for those who are disciples, and let the sharp arrows of the Lord fly — the lightnings of the law flash forth — to bring convicting wounds to a still hard heart;” — if any are disposed to object, on these or similar grounds, to the series of lectures that has now been brought to a close, I have an answer ready: I have a reason which compelled me to do it, and justitiel me now that it is done.
1. As to the edification of believers. As I am enabled, I endeavor to spread the bread of life before those who are hungering for righteousness. But the results, though real and visible, I dare not pronounce to be satisfactory. I observe certain obstructions in the way of the Lord. After his own example, I strike at these — now at one, now at another, if so be I may remove them out of the way. Some impediment in the spiritual economy
command, he would have invaded their selfishness, their want of Christian probity, their vanity, their oppression and neglect of the poor, in a thousand points which he has left untouched. We trust he will return, to the charge under the command of — “Love thy neighbor as thy self.” He will make a great campaign when he takes that field. — C] so mars our best designs, that the supply of food does not increase the strength. Money is one root of this evil. Money sticks in the channel, and stands in the way. I pause, as Jesus did, in the work of preaching the glorious gospel — I pause that I may cry aloud, “Take heed and beware of covetousness.” He did this, and why should not I? Nothing shall turn me from a course while I am sure that I am following His steps.
2. As to the convincing of the careless. If any are disposed to regret the prominence given to expositions regarding covetousness, on the ground that the time should have been occupied in efforts to get people converted, I answer, the low worldly living of the disciples is one of the greatest obstacles to conversion. The devotion to money, and the fruits that spring from it, as exhibited in those that seem believers, scare away those inquirers who are disposed to come in. The greed, the selfishness, the dishonesty, the hardness, that are sometimes seen in professing Christians, are main hindrances to the work of conversion. Aim at conversion! Yes, and so I do. I am aiming at conversion when I wield the testimony of the “Word against these sins of yours. Those that are entering in ye hinder. “We cannot expect many to be converted, unless those who are Christians arise and shine in the light of the Lord. To shake ourselves free from the dust, to lay up our treasures in heaven, to let it be felt that our hearts are there, is a main part of the wisdom that wins a brother’s soul.