Chapter VI

[‘N the 26th of February Frank wrote:
Darling Mother:

‘’I verily believe, if father had not come out last week, our meetings would have been dropped, for a little while at least. His coming stirred us up some, and that night R. and I prayed that we might have an especially good meeting on Seventh-day, and we had faith too. But, by the way, tell father he made a remark that C. needed very much: the one on never arguing with an unbeliever about Bible doctrines. C. does that continually,

arguing about predestination for instance, with,

and I believe it must be a drawback to his saving any souls.

‘’But to continue. Seventh-day we went up, and there were eight of us. In the beginning, R. proposed that we should all kneel down when any one prayed. H. modified by saying, Such as did not approve of it, of course need not do it. Well, we sat in silence a very little while, and then H. kneeled down to pray, and every one else kneeled but two. When H. was through, and he prayed feelingly as he always does, we remained on our knees; just think of that for us! In a little while I prayed, then four others.

Then we rose, and after a little while, S. said that he was happy to be able to confess that, on Sixth-day night, after being in the meeting with father, he had for the first time gone down with a feeling that he did not want to sneak into the collecting-room. H. said the same, and then we closed the first really lively meeting we ever held up there.

‘’Ask the girls if they won’t pray, especially that we may have a greater degree of brotherly love toward each other, for we cannot work without it. I was speaking to one of them about it last Third-day.”

The next day he wrote:

*’ I guess I ’11 have to give up all hopes of consecration for the present, for I cannot give up my will in the matter of publicly confessing in the meeting-house. To-day, got up, and said there, before

every one, that he was able to say he was on the Lord’s side. Every one was ‘deeply impressed.”

On March 5 th he wrote:

“Our meetings continue very good. Very free and easy, and to me sometimes very powerful. I am just beginning to see that a Christian’s life can be a happy one, a thing I never realized before. It always seemed to me that a Christian must be talking awfully good, and acting awful sober all the time, and after all be somewhat of a hypocrite. But I see now it is not at all necessary.

“How does thee know, dear mother, that we ought to pray in every meeting? I am afraid I take too much on myself, for I do more now in our little meetings than some others. We were getting dead again the other day, — had had two silent meetings, and I felt thoroughly stirred up, so I kneeled down and prayed that we might be ’ roused from our deadness.’ Did I do right? Yesterday we had a very good meeting, for the first time praying for ourselves individually, that we each one might have our last stumbling-block removed. Do tell me about prayer in thy next letter.”

In reply I wrote:

“Prayer is not a sort of religious performance, to be entered upon only when we feel in a good state of mind. It is simply asking for something we want. And the time to pray is when you realize your need of anything, and this often happens when you do not feel any particular comfort in praying. There is never a hint anywhere in the Bible that we are to wait for any especial feeling in order to pray, except the feeling of need. Everywhere we are told to ask not to feel. A great many people think their prayers will not be heard, unless they feel very fervent and tender. But God does not hear our prayers because of our feelings at all, but because of the plea we bring, even the precious availing plea of Jesus’ blood, and we can bring this plea even in our coldest and deadest moments. Whatever you want, ask for it, for the promise is, *Ask and ye shall receive.’ When I go into a meeting, I always ask God to give me a sense of the needs of the meeting, and when I feel these, then I believe it is right for me to pray, unless some one else does.”

In Frank’s next letter he says:

*’ Please send me some texts, proving what thee wrote about praying, that I may bring them up at our next little Bible class, as the lesson is on Prayer. Suppose, too, thee sends me some lessons for the First-day evening Bible class, and maybe there will be a chance of having them some time.

‘It has got out somehow that we pray for the fellows by name up-stairs in our meetings, and one

fellow came up to the other day, as mad as could

be, and said, ‘Do you ever pray for me up-stairs?’

told him if he wanted to know to come up and

see. ‘■ Well,’ he’said, ’ if you pray for me, I *11 skin you alive.’ Rather strong language, wasn’t it?”

Under date of March 9th is the following entry in his pocket diary:

‘’Letter from Bay. I do love those little things like everything. Find it out when I get away from home. I must answer the letter very soon, for I know how she likes to get letters. Read a little out of Ruskin. Found in him what I have always wanted, — a list of books that ought to be read. Every spare minute I intend to read up on literature. I want very much to read the standard works.”

On March 15th he wrote to his father:

“My Darling Father:.

“I am up very early this morning on purpose to write to thee. So please prize my letter.

It seems quite a dreary prospect to look forward to not seeing thee out here this week. I am so used to it now, and I do enjoy thy visits so much. Thy coming has done ;«^ spiritually an infinite amount of good. Before thee began to come, I used to think that I never could learn anything more of thee, as I had heard thee talk so often. But I have found my mistake. Instead of looking on the Christian life as a stiff, constrained, and solemn one, I see that it can be very natural and joyous. Well, I saw a sign the other day that I am called a good many names behind my back, for what I do. It was this. I left a book lying in one of the class-rooms, and the next time I saw it, it had written all over the cover, ‘Franky Smith, the Prayer-meeting Genius.’ It was a considerable trial to me to bear it patiently, but the Lord helped me.

*^And now about our meetings. I hardly know what to say. I wish somebody would take an elevenpronged pole and poke us all up. At my request, mother sent out a great number of texts, urging constant prayer on us. I read them in our meeting, and said that I hoped no one of us would feel that he had to wait for a great moving before prayer, but would follow a gentle impression. But it did not seem to have any effect. I say so much in our meetings, trying to get them roused up, that I am afraid they won’t like it.

*’ One of the fellows here takes a very sad view of the Christian life, which, as I understand it, is one of joy. In talking to some one the other day, he told him he thought a Christian ought never to joke, nor

lat. 1 6.] THE RECORD OF A HAPPY LIFE. 83

laugh, nor be anything but sober all the time. That he ought not to have anything to do with unbelievers, except to preach to them. This latter point he brought up in our meeting, and enforced it on us as being absolutely necessary for a Christian. We all went against him, xind said we thought that if we let unbelievers alone, except just to preach to them, they would not hear our message. He quoted the text, * Come out from among them and be ye separate, saith the Lord; ’ and we interpreted it to mean. Be separate in spirit, that is, do not countenance their evil deeds. Were we right? His seems a very hard view of the Christian life.

“I am getting along nicely in my studies. The smartest fellow in the senior class said to me yesterday, that nothing would give him greater pleasure than if I would read my Virgil with him. He said he had heard I was a smart classical scholar, and that he thought he could learn as much from me as I could from him. I am afraid he will be disappointed.

‘’In haste, with love, I am thy ‘owney doney ’ son,

‘’ Frank.”

On March 29th, Frank wrote:

‘’Darling Mother:

“Thee has got me into the scrape, and now thee must get me out of it. I have been appointed to lead in the First-day evening Bible class; and now thee must send out a lesson for me. Make a really stirring and interesting one, that will attract the boys to listen to it. Now be sure, and send it soon, so that I can study it first.”

On April 2d we received a letter from our boy that filled our hearts with unspeakable joy. It was written the next day after one of the monthly Hestonville parties, when the boys had chosen to miss the train and walk home the five miles, for the sake of an hour more at “Uncle Horry’s.” It had been a sweet evening, full of innocent merriment, and ending in a precious little meeting, never to be forgotten.

*’ My Darling Mother:

*’ There is so much to say to-day, that I hardly know where to begin. But here goes. In the first place, after wading through an unmentionable quantity of mud and mire, on our way home from Hestonville last night, we at last arrived here safely. Oh! but we did feel tired, and wet, and muddy. But we all exclaimed with one voice, that the last hour more than paid for the walk. We did just have a splendid time. And, thanks to a really sensible talk I had with

Miss, I never enjoyed an evening so much in

my life. How immeasurably better it was than to talk to some frivolous nonsensical girl of the world.

*’ Now I suppose thee would like to have me hold an experience meeting with thee, wouldn’t thee? Here it is. In the first place, some time last week I think it was, I felt my need of entire consecration deeply, and my principal point of difficulty seemed to be that I was afraid of man, and was not willing to be made anything for Christ’s sake. Well, I told it to, and he advised me to tell it in the meeting, saying he would pray for me. The next day I did, asking for their prayers. But I did not seem to change much until Fifth-day, when Samuel Emlen was out here. Mother, never in all my life have I heard a sermon as eloquent, as really inspired as that sermon was. To hear him, standing up there, with his splendid voice showing forth the joys of a Christian life, compared to one of the world; and the joys of an entirely consecrated Christian life, compared to that of a half-hearted Christian; and say with all his earnestness, ‘Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and all things necessary shall be added,’ was altogether too much for me. I gave right in, gave up my fear of man, and all, to Christ. Well, I got through that day happily; but in the evening I joined in some mischief that was against the rules, and one thing and another, so I was put back somewhat. Then I was not faithful in speaking to some unconverted fellows. So I came to Hestonville yesterday, ready for a great deal

of good. I got Miss over in the corner, and

there she told me her experience, and I told her mine, and we tried to comfort each other. She told me I must have more faith, and that she was going to pray for me that I might get it. And so last night, after reaching home, I concluded there was no use holding out any longer; I must be either a whole-hearted Christian or none. And I had my choice; I must choose one. I was helped to choose the whole-hearted Christian course, and give myself altogether to the Lord. I just said, ‘Lord, take from me everything, only give me Thyself.’ H. has consecrated himself too; so this afternoon, from two until four, H., S, and I are all going to meet together to pray for a blessing to-morrow. I am absolutely certain we will get it, SO I will not send this letter until after thot time, or rather until after we get our blessing.”

«’ Second-day, 8 O’clock. ^’ We had our meeting yesterday, and I tell thee I never was so blessed in ail my life; nor did I ever enjoy anything so much as I did that little meeting. We went into one of the class-rooms, and before we Icnelt down, we told each other that we were willing to give up everything to the Lord. Then we knelt, and told God we gave Him our all, and specified some of the things; and we pleaded His promise that we should have all our wants satisfied if we believed. And we did believe, so that before we went out of the room, we not only knew that we ourselves were blessed, but we also believed that our meeting to-day would be wonderfully blessed; and that one, for whom we prayed, would be converted soon. So we had a glorious time.

“5 O’clock. ‘’This is the first chance I have had since the meeting to write. It truly was glorious! Here is a description. When we were all up there, S. read two or three passages about having all our wants supplied. We then were silent for a little while, and then H. said that we wanted this meeting to be a meeting of thanksgiving; and he gave thanks for having been enabled to consecrate himself w//<?//v. 1 gave thanks for the same thing, and S. did also. Then we kneeled down and C. prayed. S. gave thanks on his knees for entire consecration; and R. prayed for it. I was blessed and filled to overflowing.

‘C?’

But, my dear mother, I must not write any more, as this is nearly eight pages. Pray, and ask the girls to pray, that we four may be kept full and kept resting.

“Adieu, with much love to all, I remain as I always have been, thy very affectionate son,

” Frank.”

In my reply to this precious letter, I wrote:

“I feel inexpressibly thankful, my darling boy, for the Lord’s tender and loving dealings with thy soul, and am indeed truly rejoiced that thee has been enabled to give thyself up so completely to thy dear Saviour. Now, darling Frank, thee will be a happy Christian, as well as a useful one; and I am sure thee will continually learn more and more of the simplicity of the life of faith, so as to be able to look away from thyself, and to have thy eyes fixed on Jesus. The soul can never be discouraged that looks at Him, — never! For He is only love, and tenderness, and forgiving mercy. But when we look at ourselves, then there is nothing but discouragement. Do not expect ever to find any good in thyself, for thee never will; and if thee could, it would be a very bad sign. Our goodness, our strength, our everything, in short, is in Jesus. We are poor sinners, and nothing at all, and Jesus Christ is our all in all!

“Father sends his dear love, and says thy precious letter has rejoiced his heart. Darling son, I feel as if I never could be thankful enough for thy early dedication. It is so sweet to be the Lord’s altogether, and His only. How perfectly peaceful and free from care we are, when we know that the Lord has taken us into His dear keeping, and that His Arms are round about us and beneath us. Oh! I feel like singing * Praise God, from whom all blessings flow! ’

“And now, dear Frank, do not let any sudden failure, if it should come upon thee, make thee feel that the whole thing is spoiled. It often happens, in the beginning of this life of faith, that there are temporary failures, and that the feet do sometimes stumble. But this need not discourage thee. Sanctification is not a thing once done, and done forever; it is a life, a walk, and if we stumble we can get up again. It is a life of trust, moment by moment; and if for one moment we fail, that is no reason why we should not trust the next moment. But remember, dear Frank, the very moment thee discovers thy failure, to go at once to Jesus, and have it all washed away in His precious blood. For His promise is, * If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’ He does both: He forgives, and then He cleanses and makes us just as pure as before; and He does it at once, as soon as we confess, so that we need not be hindered a moment.

“Farewell, my own precious boy, — doubly precious now that thee belongs wholly to the Lord! Oh, may He fill thee with all the fulness of God!”

s*’*