Of Experience and Faith, and How to Wait on God Comfortably
MY GOD. These words further imply a special experience, that David’s soul had felt of the goodness of God, he had found God distilling the comfort of his goodness and truth through the promises, and he knew he should find God again the same he was, if he put him in mind of his former gracious deahng. His soul knew right well, how good God was, and he could seal to those truths he had found comfort by, therefore he thus speaks to his soul: My soul, what, my soul, that hast found God so good, so oft, so many ways, thou my soul to be discouraged, having God, and my God, with whom I have taken so much sweet counsel, and felt so much comfort from, and found always heretofore to stick so close unto me? Why shouldst thou now be in such a case, as if God and thou had been strangers one to another. If we could treasure up experiments, the former part of our life would come in to help the latter, and the longer we live, the richer in faith we should be. Even as in victories, every former overthrow of an enemy helps to obtain a succeeding victory. The use of a sanctified memory is to lose nothing that may help in time of need. He had need be a well tried, and a known friend, upon whom we lay all our salvation and comfort.
We ought to trust God upon other grounds, though we had never tried him: but when he helps our faith by former experience, this should strengthen our confidence, and shore up our spirits, and put us on to go more cheerfully to God, as to a tried friend. If we were well read in the story of our own lives, we might have a divinity of our own, drawn out of the observation of God’s particular dealing towards us; we might say this and this truth, I dare venture upon, I have found it true, I dare build all my happiness upon it. As Paul, know whom I have trusted, I have tried him, he never yet failed m, I am not now to learn how faithful he is to those that are his. Every new experience is a new knowledge of God and should fit us for new encounters. If we have been good in former times, God remembers the kindness of our youth, Jer. ii. 2; we should therefore remember the kindness of God even from our youth. Evidence of what we have felt, helps our faith in that, which for the present we feel not.
Though it be one thing to live by faith, and another thing to live by sight, yet the more we see, and feel, and taste of God, the more we shall be led to rely on him, for that which as yet we neither see nor feel: Because thou hast been my helper, saith David, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice, Psalm lxiii. 7. The time was. Lord, when thou shewedst thyself a gracious Father to me, and thou art unchange* able in thy nature, in thy love, and in thy gifts.
Yea, when there is no present evidence, but God shows himself as contrary to us, yet a former taste of God’s goodness will enable to lay claim unto him still. God’s concealing of himself is but a wise discipline for a time, until we be enabled to bear the full revealing of himself unto us for ever. In the mean time, though we have some sight and feeUng in God, yet our constant living is not by it: the evidence of that we see not, is that which more constantly upholds the soul, than the evidence of any thing we see or feel.
Yea, though our experience by reason of our not minding of it in trouble, seems many times to stand us in no stead, but we fare as if God had never looked in mercy upon us: yet, even here, some virtue remains of former sense, which with the present spirit of faith, help us to look upon God as ours. As we have a present strength from food received, and digested before, vessels are something the better for that liquor they keep not, but runs through them.
But if experience should wholly fail, there is such a divine power in faith, as a very little beam of it, having no other help than a naked promise, will uphold the soul; howsoever, we must neglect no help, for God oft suspends his comfort till we have searched all our helps. Though we see no light, yet we ought to search all crevices for light, and rejoice in the least beam of light, that we may see day by. It is the nature of true faith, to search and pry into every corner, and if after all, nothing appears, then it casts itself upon God as in the first conversion, when it had nothing to look upon but the offer of free mercy. If at that time without former experience, we did trust God, why not now, when we have forgotten our experience? The chief grounds of trusting God are always the same, whether we feel or feel not; nay, though for the present we feel the contrary faith will never leave wrestling, till it hath gotten a blessing. When faith is driven to work alone, having nothing but God, and his bare promise to rely upon, then God thinks it hes upon his credit to show himself as a God unto us. God’s power in creating light out of darkness is never more exalted, than when a guilty soul is lift up by God to look for mercy, even when he seems armed with justice, to execute vengeance upon him, then the soul is brought to a near conformity unto Christ, who, 1. when he had the guilt of the sins of the whole world upon him; 2. when he was forsaken, and then after he had enjoyed the sweetest communion with his Father that ever creature could do; and not only so, but, 3. felt the weight of God’s just displeasure against sin; and, 4. was abased lower than ever any creature was: yet still he held fast God as his God.
In earthly matters, if we have a title to any thing by gift, contract, inheritance, or howsoever, we will not be wrangled out of our right. And shall we not maintain our right in God, against all the tricks and cavils of Satan and our own hearts? We must labour to have something, that we may show that we are within the covenant. If we be never so little entered into the covenant, we are safe. And herein hes the special comfort of sincerity, that though our grace be little, yet it is of the right stamp, and shows us, that we are servants, and sons, though unworthy to be so. Here a little truth will go far. Hence it is that the saints in all their extremities still allege something, that shows that they are within the covenant, ive are thy children thy people, and thy servants, &c. God is mindful of his covenant, but is well pleased, that we should mind him of it too, and mind it ourselves to make use of it, as David doth here. He knew if he could bring his soul to his God, all would be quiet.
God is so ready to mercy, that he delighteth in it, and delighteth in Christ, through whom he may show mercy, notwithstanding his justice, as being fully satisfied in Christ. Mercy is his name that he will be known by. It is his glory which we behold in the face of Christ, who is nothing but grace and mercy itself. Nay, he pleads reasons for mercy, even from the sinfulness and misery of his creature, and maintains his own mercy against all the wrangling cavils of flesh and blood, that would put mercy from them; and hearken more willingly to Satan’s objections, than God’s arguments, till at length God subdues their spirits so far, as they become ashamed for standing out so long against him. How ready will God be to show mercy to us when we seek it, that thus pres seth upon us, when we seem to refuse it? If God should take advantage of our waywardness, what would become of us? Satan’s course is to discourage those that God would have encouraged, and to encourage those whom God never speaks peace unto, and he thinks to gain both ways. Our care therefore should be when we resolve upon God’s ways, to labour that no discouragement fasten upon us, seeing God and his word speak all comfort to us.
And because the best of a Christian is to come, we should raise up our spirits to wait upon God, for that mercy which is yet to come. All inferior waitings for good things here, do but train us up in the comfortable expectation of the main.
This waiting on God requires a great strength of grace, by reason not only, 1. of the excellency of the things waited for, which are far beyond anything we can hope for in the world. But, 2. in regard of the long day which God takes before he performeth his promise, and, 3. from thence the tediousness of delay. 4. The many troubles of life in our way.
5. The great opposition we meet with in the world;
6. and scandals ofttimes even from them that are in great esteem for religion; 7. together with the untowardness of our nature in being ready to be put off by the least discouragement. In these respects there must be more than a human spirit to hold up the soul, and carry it along to the end of that which we wait for.
But if God be our God, that love which engaged him to bind himself to us in precious promises; will furnish us likewise with grace needful, till we be possessed of them. He will give us leave to depend upon him both for happiness, and all sanctifying and quieting graces, which may support the soul, till it come to its perfect rest in God. For God so quiets the hearts of his children, as withal he makes them better, and fitter for that which he provides for them; grace and peace go together; our God is the God of grace and peace, of such graces as breed peace.
1. As he is a God of love, nay, love itself to us, so a taste of his love, raising up our love, is better than wine, full of nothing but encouragement; it will fetch up a soul from the deepest discouragement; this grace quickeneth all other graces, it hath so much spirits in it as will sweeten all conditions. Love ena — bles to wait, as Jacob for Leah, seven years. Gen, xxxix. Nothing is hard to love; it carries all the powers of the soul with it.
2. As he is a God of hope, so by this grace as an anchor fastened in heaven within the veil, he stayeth the soul; that though as a ship at anchor it may be tossed and moved, yet not removed from its station. This hope, as cork, will keep the soul, though in some heaviness, from sinking, and as a helmet bear ofF the blows, that they endanger not our life, Eph, vi.
3. As God is a God of hope, so by hope of patience, which is a grace whereby the soul resigneth up itself to God in humble submission to his will, because he is our God, as David in extremity comforted himself in the Lord his God, Patience breeds comfort, because it brings experience with it of God’s owning of us to be his, Eph, vi. The soul, shod and fenced with this, is prepared against all rubs and thorns in our way, so as we are kept from taking offence. All troubles we suffer, do but help patience to its perfect work, Rom. v. 3; by subduing the unbroken sturdiness of our spirits, when we feel by experience, we get but more blows, by standing out against God.
4. The spirit of God, likewise, is a spirit of meekness, whereby, though the soul be sensible of evil, yet it moderates such distempers, as would otherwise rob a man of himself; and together with patience keepeth the soul in possession of itself. It stays murmurings and frettings against God or man. It sets and keeps the soul in tune. It is that which God (as he works, so he) much delights in, and sets a price upon it, as the chief ornament of the soul. The week of the earth seek God, and are hid in the day of his wrath, Zeph. ii. 3; whereas high spirits that compass themselves with pride as with a chain. Psalm lxxiii. 6; thinking to set out themselves by that which is their shame, are looked upon by God afar off. Meek persons will bow when others break; they are raised when others are plucked down, and stand when others that mount upon the wings of vanity fall, Matt. V. 5; these prevail by yielding, and are lords of themselves, and other things else, more than other unquiet spirited men: the blessings of heaven and earth attend on these.
5. So, likewise, contentedness with our estate is needful for a waiting condition, and this we have in our God, being able to give the soul full satisfaction. For outward things God knows how to diet us; if our condition be not to our mind, he will bring our mind to our condition. If the spirit be too big for the condition, it is never quieted, therefore God will level both. These wants be well supplied that are made up with contentedness, and with riches of a higher kind. If the Lord be our Shepherd, we can want nothing. This lifteth the weary hands and feeble knees, even under chastisement, wherein though the soul mourneth in the sense of God’s displeasure, yet it rejoiceth in his fatherly care.
6. But patience and contentment are too low a condition for the soul to rest in, therefore the Spirit of God ariseth it up to a spiritual enlargement of joy. So much joy, so much light; and so much light, so much scattering of darkness of spirit. We see in nature how a little light will prevail over the thickest clouds of darkness, a little fire wastes a great deal of dross. The knowledge of God to be our God, brings such a light of joy into the soul, as driveth out dark uncomfortable conceits; this light makes lightsome. If the light of knowledge alone makes bold, much more the light of joy arising from our communion and interest in God. How can we enjoy God, and not joy in him? a soul truly cheerful rejoiceth that God whom it loveth, should think it worthy to endure any thing for him. This joy often ariseth to a spirit of glory, even in matter of outward abasement; if the trouble accompanied with disgrace continue, the Spirit of glory rests upon us, and it will rest so long imtil it make us more than conquerors, even then when we seem conquered: for not only the cause, but the spirit riseth higher, the more the enemies labour to keep it under, as we see in Stephen, Acts vii.
With this joy goeth a spirit of courage and confidence. What can daunt that soul, which in the greatest troubles hath made the great God to be its own? such a spirit dares bid defiance to all opposite power, setting the soul above the world, having a spirit larger and higher than the world, and seeing all but God beneath it, as being in heaven already in its head.
After Moses and Micah had seen God in his favour to them, how little did they regard the angry countenances of those mighty princes, that were in their times the terrors of the world? the courage of a Christian is not only against sensible danger, and of flesh and blood, but ^,g2imst principalities and powers of darkness, against the whole kingdom of Satan, the god of the world, whom he knows shortly shall be trodden under his feet, Rom. xvi. 20. Satan and his may for a time exercise us, but they cannot hurt us. True believers are so many kings and queens, so many conquerors over that which others are slaves to; they can overcome themselves in revenge, they can despise those things that the world admires, and see an excellency in that which the world sets light by, they can set upon spiritual duties, which the world cannot tell how to go about, and endure that which others tremble to think of, and that upon wise reasons, and a sound foundation, they can put off themselves, and be content to be nothing, so their God may appear the greater, and dare undertake and undergo any thing for the glory of their God. This courage of Christians among the heathens was counted obstinacy, but they knew not the power of the Spirit of Christ in his, which is ever strongest, when they are weakest in themselves, they knew not the privy armour of proof that Christians had about their hearts, and thereupon counted their courage to be obstinacy. Some think the martyrs were too prodigal of their blood, and that they might have been better advised; but such are unacquainted with the force of the love of God kindled in the heart of his child, which makes him set such a high price upon Christ and his truth, that he counts not his life dear unto him, Acts xx.
24.; he knows he is not his own, but hath given up himself to Christ, and therefore all that is his, yea, if he had more lives to give for Christ, he should have them. He knows he shall be no loser by it. He knows it is not a loss of his life, but an exchange for a better.
We see the creatures that are under us will be courageous in, the eye of their masters, that are of a superior nature above them, and shall not a Christian be courageous in the presence of his great Lord and Master, who is present with him, about him, and in him? undoubtedly he that hath seen God once in the face of Christ, dares look the grimmest creature in the face, yea, death itself under any shape. The fear x)f all things flies before such a soul. Only a Christian is not ashamed of his confidence. Why should not a Christian be as bold for his God, as others are for the base gods they make to themselves?
7. Besides a spirit of courage (for establishing the soul) is required a spirit of constancy, whereby the soul is steeled and preserved immoveable in all conditions, whether present or to come, and is not changed in changes. And why? but because the spirit knows that God on whom it rests is unchangeable. We ourselves are as quicksilver, unsettled and moveable, till the spirit of constancy fix us. We see David sets out God in glorious terms, borrowed from all that is strong in the creature, to show that he had great reason to be constant, and cleaving to him. He is my rock, my buckler the horn of my salvation, my strong tower, &c. God is a rock so deep, that no floods can undermine; so high, that no waves can reach, though they rise never so high, and rage never so much. When we stand upon this rock that is higher than we, we may overlook all waves, swelling, and foaming, and breaking themselves, but not hurting us. And thereupon may triumphantly conclude with the Apostle, that neither height, nor depth, shall ever separate us from the love of God, Rom. viii. 39. Whatsoever is in the creature he found in his God, and more abundant; the soul cannot with an eye of faith look upon God in Christ, but it will be in its degree as God is quiet and constant, the spirit aimeth at such a condition as it beholdeth in God towards itself.
This constancy is upheld by endeavouring to keep a constant sight of God, for want of which it oft fares with us, like men, that having a city or tower in their eye, passing through uneven grounds, hills, and dales, sometimes get the sight thereof, sometimes lose it, and sometimes recover it again, though the tower be still where it was, and they nearer to it than they were at first. So it is oft with our uneven spirits; when once we have a sight of God, upon any present discouragement, we let fall our spirits, and lose the sight of him, until by an eye of faith we recover it again, and see him still to be where he was at first. The cherishing of passions take away the sight of God, as clouds take away the sight of the sun: though the sun be still where it was, and shineth as much as ever it did. We use to say, when the body of the moon is betwixt the sun and us, that the sun is echpsed, when indeed not the sun but the earth is darkened, the sun loseth not one of its glorious beams. God is oft near us, as he was unto Jacob, and we are not aware of it. God was near the holy man Asaph, when he thought him afar off. / am continually with thee, saith he, thou holdest me by my right hand, Psalm lxxiii. 27. Mary in her weeping passion could not see Christ before her, he seemed a stranger unto her. So long as we can keep our eye upon God, we are above the reach of sin or any spiritual danger.