Trial and Triumph
An. 6, 1835. — Feel little better in my head, though my general health seems improved. My kind physician says I am much better, and advises change of air.
This evening a sister, residing fifty miles away, quite unacquainted with this medical advice, sent me £50 for a change of air.
May 8. — Went to the prayer-meeting at Gideon; read Ps, ciii, and thanked the Lord publicly for my late affliction. This-is the first time I have taken part in public meetings since Nov. 6, 1837.
July 12 — The funds, which were £780, are now reduced to £20; but, thanks be to the Lord, my faith is as strong as when we had the larger sum; nor has He at any time, from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust Him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be inquired of, I gave myself to prayer with Brother T, of the Boys’ Orphan House, who, beside my wife and Brother Craik, is the only one to whom I speak about funds, While praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought, and some believers, having collected £5, sent it with the child. We haye given notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though funds are so low, hoping God will look on our necessities
July 17, 18 — Two days we have had two special prayer-meetings, from six to nine in the evening, to commend to the Lord the Boys’ Orphan House. Our funds are low. There are about £20 in hand, and in a few days ¿30 will be needed; but I purposely avoided saying anything about present necessities, and spoke only to the praise of God about the abundance with which “the Father of the fatherless” has hitherto supplied us, that the nand of God, in sending help, may be more clearly seen.
Aug. 18. — Not one penny in hand for the orphans. In a day or two many pounds will be needed. My eyes are to the Lord. Evening, — Received, from a sister, five pounds, She had, some time since, put away her trinkets, to be sold for the orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her: “I have this five pounds, and owe no man; therefore it would be better to give this money at onte, as it may be some time before I can dispose of the trinkets.” She brought it, little knowing that we had not a penny.
Aug. 29. — To-day sixteen believers were baptized,
an aged brother above eighty-four, and one above’
seventy. For the latter his believing wife had prayed thirty-eight years, z
Sept. 2 — Trial continues. The Lord has mercifully given enough to supply daily necessities; but He gives by the day now, and almost by the hour, as we need it. Nothing came in yesterday. I besought the Lord again and again, both yesterday and to-day. It is as if the Lord said. “Mine hour has not yet come.” But I have faith in God. Many pounds are needed within a few days, and not a penny in hand. This morning two pounds were given by one of the laborers in the work.
Evening. — While praying, this afternoon, I felt fully assured the Lord would send help, and praised Him beforehand. A few minutes after, Brother T brought
four pounds, which had come in small donations. He SS AS AAA AS A
E a told me that to-morrow the books would be brought - from the Infant Orphan House, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. I thought it might be weil to keep three pounds of this money for that purpose. It occurred to me immediately, “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” (Matt. vi, 34.) The Lord can provide, by to-morrow, much more than I need; I therefore sent three pounds to one of the sisters whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining one pound, one shilling, and one fivepence to the Boys’ Orphan House for housekeeping, I am still penniless. My hope is in God; He will provide.
Sept, 6. — This morning the books were brought from the Infant Orphan House, and the matron sent to ask when she should fetch them, implying when money would be advanced for housekeeping. I said, “to-morrow,” though I had not a-single penny, About an hour after, Brother T sent me a note, saying he had received one pound, and last evening a brother had sent twenty-nine pounds of salt, forty-four dozen onions, and twenty-six pounds of grain.
Sept, 7. — The time came to send money to the Infant Orphan House; but the Lord had not sent any more, I gave, therefore, the pound which came in yesterday, ` and two shillings and twopence that were put into the box in my house, trusting the Lord to send more,
Sept. 8 — It has not pleased my Lord to send help as yet. Have been pleading the following arguments why He would be graciously pleased to send help:
1. I set about the work for the glory of God, that there might be a visible proof, by God supplying, in answer to prayer only, the necessities of the orphans; that He is the living God, and most willing, even in our day, to answer prayer.
2. God is the “Father of the fatherless.” (Ps. lxviii, 5.)
3. I received the children in the name of Jesus, and He, in these children, has been received, fed, and clothed. (Mark ix, 37.)
4. The faith of many children of God has been strengthened by this work, and if God Were to withhold the means for the future, those weak in faith would be staggered.
5. Many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to withhotd supplies, and say, “Did wesnot foretell this enthusiasm would come to nothing?”
6. Many children of God, uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would continue their alliance with the world in the work of God, and gó on, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, if He were not to help me.
7. The Lord remember that I am His child, and that I can not provide for these children, and graciously pity me, and not allow this burden to lie on me long.
8. Remember my fellow-laborers, who would be tried were He to withhold supplies.
Sept. 10. — To-day saw a young brother who, with one of his sisters, was brought to the knowledge of the Lord through my narrative.
“Sept. 13 — No help yet. This morning I found it absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of funds, and give necessary directions as to going into debt. We prayed together, and had a happy meeting. Twelve shillings sixpence was taken out of the boxes in the three houses; twelve shillings one -of the laborers gave, and one pound one shilling had come in for needlework done by the children. One sister engaged in the work sent a message not to trouble about her salary; she should not want any for a twelvemonth.
Sept. 14 — Met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help. After prayer, one of the laborers gave all the money he had, sixteen shillings, saying, “It would not be right to pray, if I were not to give.” One of the sisters told me that in six days she would give me six pounds, which she had in the savings-bank for such a time of need. Up to this day, the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and milkmen weekly, because they preferred to receive payments this way, and sometimes the butcher and grocer. But now, as the Lord deals out to us by the day, it would be wrong to go on longer in this way, as the week’s payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it, and those with whom we deal be inconvenienced, and we be found acting against the commandment of the Lord, “Owe no man anything.” (Rom. xiii, 8.) From this day we purpose to pay at once for every article as it is purchased, and never buy anything except we can pay for it, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. The little we owed was paid this day.
Sept. 15. — Saturday. Met again, this morning, for prayer. God comforts our hearts. We are looking for help. I found there were provisions enough for to-day and to-morrow, but no money to take in bread, as usual, that the children might not have newly-baked bread. This afternoon, one of the laborers, who had been absent several days, returned, and gave one pound. This evening, we met again for prayer, when I found that ten shillings sixpence had come in. With this we were able to buy the usual quantity of bread and have money left, God be praised, who gives us grace not to buy anything for which we can not pay at once. We thankfully took this money as a proof that our Father .still cares for us, and, in His own time, will send larger sums.
Sept. 17. — The trial continues. More and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. But I am sure God will send help if we wait. One of the laborers had a little money, of which he gave twelve shillings ‘sixpence; another gave eleven shillings eightpence, all the money she had. left; so that nothing has been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but going to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by Psalm xxxiv, so I went cheerfully to meet, with my fellow-laborers, for prayer. I read the Psalm, and cheered their hearts through the precious promises.
Sept. 18 — Now we are come to an aia The funds are exhausted The laborers who had a little money have given as long as they had any left. A lady from the neighborhood of London, who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four days since, and took lodgings next door to the Boys’ Orphan House. This afternoon she kindly brought me three pounds. We
had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling
those things which could be spared; but this morning
PSV
I asked the Lord to prevent the necessity. That the money had been so near the Orphan Houses for days, without being given, is a proof that it was, from the beginning in the heart of God to help us; but, because He delights in the prayers of His children, he had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and make the answer much sweeter, It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst out into loud praises the first moment I was alone after receiving the money. I met with my fellow-laborers this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was divided, and will provide for to-morrow.
Sept. 29 — Saturday .evening. Prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, due this day. I have been looking for it, though I knew not whence a shilling was to come. This morning Brother T called, and as no money had come, we prayed together from ten till quarter of twelve. Twelve o’clock struck, the time when the rent ought to be paid; but no money had been sent. For some days I had a misgiving whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week or day for the rent. This is only the second complete failure of answers to prayer in the work during the past four years and six months. The first was about the half-yearly rent of Castle Green school-rooms, due July 1, 1837, which had come in only in part by that time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as God may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. May the Lord help us to act accordingly, and may He now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent!
Oct. 2 — Tuesday evening. The Lord’s holy name be
praised! He hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! Day before yesterday five pounds came in for the orphans. O how kind is the Lord! Always before there has been actual want, He has sent help. Yesterday, came in one pound ten shillings more. Thus the expenses of yesterday for housekeeping were defrayed. The Lord helped me, also, yesterday, to pay the nineteen pounds for rent. One of the.laborers had received, through his family, ten pounds, and five pounds, besides, from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of this he gave sixten pounds, which, with the three pounds ten shillings that were left of the above mentioned five pounds, made up the nineteen pounds needed. This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no money in hand to take in bread. Again the Lord helped. A sister, who arrived this afternoon from Swansea, brought one pound seven shillings, and one of the laborers sold an article by which he was able to give one pound thirteen shillings. Thus we had three pounds — one pound for each house — and could buy bread before the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 9 — To-day we were brought lower than ever. The provisions would have lasted only to-day, and the money for milk in one house could only be made up by a laborer selling one of his books. The matron in the Boys’ Orphan House had, this morning, two shillings left. When in doubt whether to buy bread or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present.
Oct. ro. — The coal in the Infant Orphan House is
Ca out, and nearly so in the other two houses. Also, the treacle casks in the three houses are nearly empty. We ask the Lord for fresh supplies.
Oct. 11. — The “Father of the fatherless” has again shown His care over us. An orphan from Devonshire arrived last evening. With her were sent two pounds, five shillings and sixpence. The sister who brought her gave, also, a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream-jug, of the weight of forty-eight ounces, having found true riches in Christ. There were also in the boxes nine shil- ` lings. One of the laborers paid for a ton of coal. We obtained sixteen pounds sixteen shillings for the silver articles, which helped us through the heavy expenses of the following days.
Nov. 13. — This morning our want was again great. I have twenty pounds in hand, put by for rent, but, for the Lord’s honor, I would not take it. Nothing came in, and the laborers had scarcely anything to give. I went to the Orphan Houses to pray with my fellow-laborers, to comfort them, and see what could be done. When I came there I found nineteen shillings and sixpence had come in.
Nov. 21, — Never was so reduced in funds. Not a single halfpenny had the matrons of the three houses. Nevertheless, there was a good dinner, and by helping - one another with bread, there was prospect of getting over this day; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. When I left the brethren and sisters at one o’clock, after prayer, I told them we must wait and see how the Lord would deliver. I was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. When I came to Kingsdown, I felt I needed more exercise, being cold, so 1 went round by Clarence Place. About twenty yards from my house I met a brother, who walked back with me, and gave me ten pounds to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coal, blankets, and warm clothing; also five pounds for the orphans, and five for. other objects of the Institution. The brother called at my home twice while I was at the Orphan Houses, and, had I been one half minute later, I should have missed him. The Lord knew our need, and allowed me to meet him.
Nov. 24 — A remarkable day! We had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and several pounds were needed. But God, who is rich in mercy, and whose Word “positively: declares that none Who trust in Him shall be confounded, has: helped us through this day. While in prayer, about ten in the morning, I was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. He came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes sent to the Orphan Houses. Never could they have come more seasonably. This was an encouragement to continue to expect help. When I came to the prayer-meeting I heard that two shillings had come in; also one pound for a guitar given for sale. The payment for this guitar had been expected for weeks. It had been mentioned repeatedly that it might come at just a time when we needed it most. But with all this, we could not put by the rents for this week, amounting to thirty shillings. So one of the laborers gave his watch to the orphan fund, on condition that, should the Lord not enable us, before December 21st, to make up this deficiency, it should be sold; but not otherwise, as he needs it in the Lord’s service.
A few days after the Lord gave the means to put by the thirty shillings, and thirty shillings besides for next week’s rent.
Nov. 28. — This is perhaps the most wonderful day as yet as regards funds. When in prayer this morning, I was enabled firmly to believe that the Lord would send help, though all seemed dark. At twelve o’clock I met, as usual, with the brethren and sisters for prayer. There had come in only one shilling, left last evening, anonymously, at the Infant Orphan House. An individual had gratuitously cleaned the timepiece in the Infant Orphan House, and offered to keep the timepieces in the three houses in repair. Thus the Lord gave proof that He is. still mindful of us. On inquiry, I found that there was everything needful for dinner in the three houses; but neither in the Infant nor Boys’ Orphan Houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. We gave our-
selves, unitedly, to prayer to the Lord to make a way
of escape, and to know if there was anything which I could do, with a good conscience, «besides waiting on Him, that we might have food for the children. At last we rose from our knees. I said, “God will surely send help.” The words had not passed my lips, when I perceived a letter lying on the table, brought whilst we were in prayer, containing ten pounds for the orphans, and ten to be divided between Brother Craik and myself for new clothes.
Dec. 6. — Received one hundred pounds from a sister — fifty for the orphans, and fifty for the school, Bible, and missionary fund. -This sister, who earns her bread, had given, on October 5, 1837, fifty pounds towards the Boys’ Orphan House, and for the necessities of the poor saints, in August, 1838, one hundred pounds more, being made willing to act out those precious exhortations: “Having food and raiment, let us be therewith content” (1 Tim. vi, 8); “Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which wax not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrupteth” (Luke xii, 33); “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.”
(Matt. vi, 19.) Respecting the fifty pounds given of this sum for the school, Bible, and missionary fund, it is worthy of remark that we would not order reference Bibles till we had the means. We prayed respecting this want of Bibles again this morning. It had been also much laid on our hearts to request that the Lord would enable us to have the report printed, which we could not do unless He sent the means. We had also repeatedly asked Him to supply us so largely that, at the time of the public meetings, we might be able to speak again of abundance. For some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings without any reference to the state of the funds; nevertheless, it might have had the appearance that we convened the brethren for the sake of telling them of our poverty, and thus induce them to give.
“=Dec. 16 — A paper was anonymously put into the box at Bethesda Chapel, containing four pounds ten shillings “for the rent of the Orphan Houses. from December 10 to December 31, 1838.”: O, taste and see
A oe aid ile that the Lord is good; blessed is the man that trusteth in Him. (Ps. xxxiv, 8.) The individual, for three years, regularly, but anonymously, gave one pound ten shillings a week, exactly the sum required for the rent of the Orphan Houses. Thus the Lord rewarded our faithfulness. The chief blessing from, this is that several brethren, who earn their bread by the labor of their hands, have learned to lay by their rent weekly. 5