Faith Strengthened by Exercise
An. 1, 1841. — During this week we have daily met for prayer, to ask the Lord to give us the means to have - the last year’s Report printed. It is three weeks since it might have been sent to press. We felt this important, for if the Report were not soon printed, it would be known that it arose from want of means. On account of donations these last days, and ten pounds given to-day,’ we have the means of defraying the expense of about two-thirds of the printing, so a part of the manuscript was sent.
Jan. 11, Monday. — During the last week the Lord supplied us richly with what we needed for the orphans, and several pounds towards the Report. Saturday there were only three shillings sixpence left. On this account I was looking out for answers to prayer, and the Lord did not disappoint me. There came yesterday nine pounds. We have now enough for the last part of the Report.
Jan. 12. — To-day I received a letter from a brother, empowering me to draw upon his bankers, during this year, for one thousand pounds, for any brethren who have it in their hearts to give themselves to missionary service in the East Indies, whom T shall consider called for this service. This power lasted only for that year; but no brethren who seemed suitable offered themselves for this service. Another proof how much more easily pecuniary means can be obtained than suitable individuals, Oct. 1. — When I had not a penny there was brought this morning ten shillings for the orphans, sent from Kensington. In the paper was written: “Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of these things.” (Matt. vi, 32) Trust in the kord a (Bs. xxx 05) This word is of more value than many bank-notes. About five minutes later I received from an Irish sister ten pounds, through her banker in London. After the season of comparative abundance had come to an end in September, the Lord did not at once allow us to be so sharply tried as we were afterwards.
Dec. 9 — We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of-this part of the work, having in hand only the money which has been put by for rent; but during the whole year we have been supplied with all that was needed. During the last three years we closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and this was afterwards printed for the benefit of the Church at large. This time it appeared better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured if we never were to speak or write one word more about this work, we should be supplied with means as long as he should enable us to depend on Him. But while we neither held those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, or published the account of the Lord’s dealings for the sake of working upon the feelings of readers, and inducing them to give money, but that we might by our experience benefit saints, yet it might have appeared to some that in making known our circumstances we were actuated by such motives. What better proof could we give of our dependence on the living God, and not upon public meetings or printed reports, than that,in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad to make known our circumstances, we went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything?
Dec. 18 — We acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the Report; but God’s way leads into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, “I will now see whether you truly lean on Me and truly look to Me.” Of all the seasons I ever passed through since I had been living in this way, up to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply as during the four months from December 12, 1841, to April 12, 1842. But observe: We might now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report; for no one knew our determination. On the contrary, we knew with what delight many children of God were looking to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion at which we arrived under His guidance.
Jan. 4, 1842. — After a season of more than usual poverty comes a season of more than usual abundance.
Feb. 25. — Greater than now our need had never been. Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. The laborers felt considerably tried. Yet this day the Lord has not suffered us to be confounded. Through a remarkable circumstance one of the laborers obtained money this morning, so the need of to-day could be met.
Feb. 26. — My prayer this morning was that the Lord would look in pity upon us, and take off His hand. This is now Saturday. There was given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons.
April 12. — We were never in greater need. One hundred pounds was received from the East Indies. It is impossible to describe the joy in God it gave me. My prayer had been this morning that our Father would send larger sums.
May 10. — To-day we have left, at the end of this seventeen months, in which we have been so often penni-. less, the sum of sixteen pounds for the orphans, and forty-eight pounds for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Though our trials of faith lasted longer and were sharper than in any previous period, yet the orphans had everything needful. I desire that the children of God who read these details may be led to increased confidence in God. Think not that I have the gift of faith mentioned with “the gifts of healing,” “the working of miracles,” “prophecy,” etc., and on that account am able to trust in the Lord. The -faith I exercise is God’s own gift. He alone supports it. He alone can increase it. But it is not true that my faith is that gift of faith. (1 Cor. xii, 9.) It is the same faith found in every believer, the growth of which has been increasing for twenty-six years.
This faith exercised respecting the Orphan Houses and my own necessities shows itself in the same measure concerning the following:
1. I have never been perinitted to Senb during the last twenty-seven years that my sins are forgiven, that I am a beloved child of God, and shall be saved; because I am enabled by the grace of God to believe. (John iii, 16; Gal. iii, 26; Acts x, 43; Rom. x, 9, 10; John iii, 16.)
2. When insanity threatened I was in peace, because’ my soul believed, “All things work together for good to them that love God.” (Rom. viii, 28.)
3. When my brother and aged father died, and I had no evidence of their salvation, my soul was at peace under this great trial, laying hold on that word, “Shall not the Judge of all the earth do right?” (Gen. xviii, 25.)
4. When the Lord took my beloved infant, my soul was at peace; I could only weep tears of joy, laying hold on that word, “Of such is the kingdom of heaven.” (Matt. xix, 14.)
5. When all has been dark, with reference to my service among the saints, I have encouraged myself by laying hold in faith on God’s almighty power, unchangeable love, and infinite wisdom, and have said, “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things.” (Rom. viii, 32.)
6. When lying reports were spread that the orphans had not enough to eat, or were cruelly treated, or when trials still greater have befallen me in connection with this work, and I was nearly a thousand miles from Bristol, I believed, and was kept in peace, though I saw it ‘the will of God to remain far away.
7. When I needed houses, fellow- laborers, masters) and mistresses for the orphans or the day-schools, I have been enabled to look for all to the Lord.
By the grace of God I desire my faith should extend toward everything, the smallest of my own temporal and among whom I labor; everything that has to do with spiritual concerns, or those of my family, or the saints * the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution or the Church at large.
Let not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons situated as I am. When I lose a key, I ask the Lord to direct me to it, and look for an answer; when a person with whom I have made an appointment does not ` come, I ask the Lord to hasten him, and look for an answer; when I do not understand a passage of the Word of God, 1 lift up my heart to the Lord to instruct me by His holy Spirit. and expect to be taught; when going to minister in the Word, I seek help from the Lord, look for His assistance, and believe He, for His dear Son’s sake, will help me. May not you do the same, dear, believing reader? Stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help of God, if you trust Him. But there is often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in the hour of trial, and thus the food for faith is lost. This leads to the following question, How may a believer have faith strengthened?
1. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father.” (James i, 17.) As the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from God, and He ought to be asked for this blessing.
2. Meditation on the Word of God will lead the believer to repose upon the ability of God to help, because he has seen in the Scriptures almighty power and infinite wisdom exercised in delivering His people.
3. He who has an upright heart and a good conscience does not knowingly indulge in things contrary to the mind of God. This hinders growth in faith. How can I possibly detract from God? If I have a guilty conscience I can not trust God. Faith is weakened by distrust; for faith with every fresh trial either increases by Paste God, or decreases by not trusting Him; and there is less power to look simply and directly to Him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten. Either we trust in God, and not in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circumstances, nor in anything, or we do trust in these, and do not trust in God.
4. Do not shrink from opportunities where ah may be tried, and through the trial be strengthened. In our natural state we dislike dealing. with God alone, yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith strengthened. The more I am tried in faith with reference to my body, family, service for the Lord, business, etc., the more I have opportunity of seeing God’s deliverance; and every instance in which He delivers tends to increase of faith.
5. Let God work when the trial of faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of your own.
Dec. 19. — Our need, with reference to the school fund, had been great, though we received as much as the teachers required. Now it was very great, as one brother needed several pounds soon, and three other teachers also required supplies. It had also been much in my heart to send money to several brethren in foreign lands, who depend on the Lord only; but I could not for want of means. I gave myself again especially to prayer, when, within a quarter of an hour after I had risen from my knees, I received an order for one hundred pounds.
REVIEW OF THE YEAR 1842.
1. As to the Church: 601 in communion; 73 added during the year; 271 brought to the Lord.
2. For my temporal necessities, the Lord has sent me £329 16s.
Mar. 31, 1843. — Called at the Orphan Houses, and one of the sisters told me she had been asked by Miss G., who occupied the house No. 4 Wilson Street, to let me know that they wished to give up. the house if 1 would like to take it; but she replied that it was of no use to tell me, for she was sure I had no thought of opening another Orphan House. This matter greatly occupied my mind. I asked the Lord again and again if He. would have me open another Orphan House, and if the time was come. The more I pondered the matter, the more it appeared to me that this was the hand of God. The remarkable combination of circumstances struck me:
1. There are more applications made for the admission of orphans than we ate able to meet.
2. If I did take another house for orphans, it would be most desirable it should be in the same street where the other three are, as the labor is less, and we are near together for prayer, the distribution of the money, etc. But since the third Orphan House was opened, in November, 1837, there never has been one of the larger houses in the street to let.
3. There are about fifteen children in the Infant Orphan, House that should have been moved to the house for the older girls:
4. I know two sisters who seem suitable laborers for this fourth Orphan House, and desire thus to be engaged.
5. There are three hundred pounds remaining of the
ae Slee aan five hundred I lately received. This money may be used for furnishing and fitting up a new Orphan House. So much money I have never had at any one time during the last five years; a remarkable thing, in connection with the other reasons.
6. The establishing of a fourth Orphan House, which would increase our expenses several hundred pounds a year, would be a plain proof that I have not regretted this service, and am not tired of this precious way of depending on the Lord, and the faith of other children of God be strengthened.
Decidedly conclusive as these points were, they did not convince me I ought to go forward without the Spirit’s leadings. I gave myself to prayer. I prayed two and twenty days without mentioning it to any human being, not even my dear wife. The day I did mention it to her, on which I had come to the conclusion to establish another Orphan House, I received fifty pounds. At last, on the twenty-fourth day, fully assured that God would have me go forward, I went to inquire whether Mr. G. still wished to give up the house. I found an apparent hindrance. Having heard no wish expressed on my part to take the house, he had altered his mind. I was not in the least dismayed. “Lord, if thou hast no need of another Orphan House, I have none,” was my prayer. I was willing to do God’s will; yea, to delight ` in His will, because I knew I sought not my own honor, but the Lord’s; and with so much calm, quiet, prayerful self-questioning had I gone about this business, and only after many days of waiting on the Lord, come to the conclusion it was God’s will for me to go forward. I was quite in peace when I heard of the obstacle; a plain proof that I was not self-willed, but led by the Holy Spirit. For if, according to my natural mind, I had sought to enlarge the work, 1 should have been excited when I met with this apparent obstacle. After a week I called again on Mr. G. See how God had wrought! On the same day I saw him, he went out and met with a suitable house, so was willing to let me have the one in Wilson Street. In July the first orphans were received.
Mr. Müller, having been invited by several Christians in Germany to visit his native land, and labor there for the promulgation of Scriptural truth, as well as to publish a German translation of his Narrative, felt it his duty to accede to the request. In answer to prayer, he received ample means for his journey, for the support of the orphans during his absence, and for the publication of the Narrative. He left Bristol August 9, 1843, and returned March 6, 1844.