A short ACCOUNT of ANN ROGERS. By John Johnson

Saturday, April 8, 1769.

IWENT to see Ann Rogers, a young woman who had been for several years a member of the society in Dublin. Two or three years ago she believed God had saved her from all sin, and ever since behaved in the most exemplary manner. “My body, she said, is exceeding weak: but Christ is precious to my soul, and has not suffered me in all my weakness and pain to feel one murmuring thought.”

I enquired, how the work of God began in her soul? She said, “May was six years I came to live with Mrs.
Riggs, where Mary Feris lived; at which time I had no notion of real, heart religion. But her behaviour struck me, and not long after, I went with her on Sunday morning
to the New-Room. From that time I saw myself a vile, helpless sinner, of which I was convinced more and more; yet with strong hope, expecting deliverance under every sermon I heard, and in every meeting for prayer. But in about two months my hope grew weak, and I concluded God did not hear my prayers. Then deep sorrow seized my heart, till one night going to bed, I cried earnestly for mercy, and begged that if there were any for me, I might wake time enough to attend the morning preaching. I awoke at the time. In that moment I was enabled to believe, that God loved me. I rejoiced unspeakably; I was happy in his love, and have never since doubted of his favour.

“This joy continued for some months, but with an earnest hope of seeing greater things than these: those words being frequently in my mouth, and almost continually in my mind,

Wrestling I will not let thee go,

Till I thy name, thy nature know!

And one day as I was sitting in my room, the power of God came mightily upon me, and those words were applied to my heart, in a manner I cannot express, Thou art all fair, my love: there is no spot in thee. It is impossible to tell how my soul was filled with love: surely it was angel’s food! I was called down to dinner, but could eat nothing: On this one said, ‘Nancy, have you got the second blessing?’ I did not know how to answer to this, or what name to call it by. But I said, I never was so happy in all my life: I am quite filled with love. And from that time I have continued, except some weeks in the beginning of last year, (when I was hurt by disputing about a third person) rejoicing evermore, praying without ceasing, and in every thing giving thanks. My particular prayer was, that God would give me all the grace which he had promised in his word.”

From the time that this disorder began, it was her constant prayer, “Lord, if I recover, let it be to thy glory; if not, thy will be done! Only do not take me hence, till thou hast finished thy work in my soul.” This, she added, “is my whole desire. And I must bear this testimony, the Lord Jesus hath always, on his part, been faithful and gracious to me. And though, on my part, I have been much wanting, yet he hath borne with me and mightily blessed my soul.”

Her mother told me, “Yesterday I thought she was expiring; she did not appear like herself; till she broke out, ‘The goodness of God has been so manifested to my soul, that I could not speak. Those words were spoke to my heart, I have loved thee with an everlasting love. And, Thou shalt be mine, in that day, when I make up my jewels. O! I have sweet foretastes of heaven! I would gladly go to him my soul loves.’”

Sunday 9. I saw her again. She was then so weak, she could hardly speak to be heard. But after I had spoke a few words of the love of Jesus, she found strength and said, “The first Sunday in February last, at the sacrament, I did indeed eat his flesh and drink his blood. The glory of the Lord shone into my soul, and I felt so much of his love, it was almost more than my feeble body could bear: it was a real foretaste of heaven.” She said, “Three nights ago I was in exquisite pain, such as I never felt before: but every pain was a spring to my soul, to lift me up to heaven. I could thank him for all, and methought I would not recover for the whole world. Indeed the love of Jesus so ravishes my soul that I would not have ♦one pain less than he pleases.” Then correcting herself she said, “Pain! It cannot be called pain: his presence makes it heaven to me!” One said, “He has brought you through the wilderness, within sight of the good land.” She said, “O yes! O yes! He has; and he will be with me through the valley; this I cannot doubt.” I then took my leave and saw her no more. What follows, I had from those that attended her.

She exhorted all that came, particularly those that sat up with her, to redeem the time. To one she said, “O Sally, turn to God with your whole heart: you have but little time:” and to them all, “Make haste! Get ready! You have no time to spare.”

Afterward Satan was permitted to thrust sore at her. Waking out of sleep, she began to reproach herself, for sleeping, saying, “If I had not slept, it would not have been thus with me. I cannot doubt of the favour of my Lord: neither can I fear his casting me into hell. But I am tempted to think, I shall have sore distress at the hour of death.” This lasted some hours; but in the evening she said, “Christ is come, and Satan is gone.” Nor was he suffered to trouble her any more. All that followed was peace and love.

Yet she was exceedingly concerned for her mother, lest she should not freely give her up to God. Her mother was asked, Whether she could or no? She answered, “Since it is the will of God to take her, I do give her up freely.” And this reply gave her entire satisfaction.

The day before she died, the thought of being for ever with the Lord, was transporting to her soul. But she said to her mother, “I charge you when I am dead, let none of the wicked come into the room. Let it be filled with those that fear God; and while they are singing the praises of God below, I shall be singing them above.”

About three in the morning she said earnestly, “O precious Christ! O precious Christ!” These were her last words: but she still expressed her happiness, sometimes by lifting her eyes towards heaven, and sometimes by looking pleasantly on those about her, till her sight failed, and her spirit went up to God.

Some years before she died, she now and then
wrote down a little of her experience. I believe these accounts, imperfect as they are, will be acceptable to the pious reader.

“April 10, 1764. The Lord has blessed me in a wonderful manner. Glory and praise to his great name! O that thy praise may dwell on my heart! O my Lord, enable the unworthiest of thy servants, to give thee thanks for thy unspeakable love! O that I could invite all to taste and see how good thou art, how full of truth and grace! O thou unexhausted fountain of love, enable me every moment to cast myself upon thee, and to receive out of thy fulness grace for grace.”

I continued thus for five days, yet with many wanderings from my God: but I had this cry in my heart, Dear Lord, deliver me from a heart so prone to wander from thee!

Tuesday, May 22. As I was at my work, these words came to my heart with power, I will take away the heart of stone, and will give thee an heart of flesh. I was lost in wonder, yet found unbelief till those words were spoke to my heart, Ye are clean through the word I have spoken. I found a change in myself from that moment, and could say, I love thee with every faculty of my soul. Truly I can say, that God is love! And that he delights to do his needy creatures good.

September 14, 1765. I had a greater desire than usual to retire from the world: yea even from the converse of the holiest Christians, to wait upon God alone. I wanted to have a closer acquaintance with the blessed Jesus. Happy he that can go to God at any time, praying to him with faith and fervency. My God, all my soul cries aloud for more of thy light and love! O my Lord, manifest thyself in me more fully! None living has greater cause to love and serve thee.

Sunday 15. The sermon at church caused some heaviness; but I was refreshed at the Lord’s table. O Jesus, assist me to look through every means, to thee, the fountain of life and love!

Monday 16. The sermon was as marrow and fatness to my soul. I did truly wait upon God. I have been happy this whole day: Jesus has been precious to me. I found him in every means of grace: he is near me in every time of need. I see much of my helplessness and weakness.

Every moment, Lord, I want

The merit of thy death.

Tuesday 17. I have found this day, most comfortable communion with Jesus, and free access to the throne of grace. Yet I have been greatly tempted: but the Lord stood by me, and made a way for me to escape. I want to be all attention to his voice, and to be more dead to the things of time and sense: let me have no will, O Jesus, but thine! Let thy will be done in me and by me!

Wednesday 18. This morning I was so stupid I could hardly pray: but thou art not extreme to mark what is amiss. All the day I was much hurried in business, and could not attend the public means of grace. But in the evening he made up the want, giving me free access to him in prayer: and therein he graciously refreshed my poor drooping soul. O my God, let the fire of thy love burn up whatever is not agreeable to thee. And let such a sense of thy free, unmerited love rest on me, as may keep me ever low at thy bleeding feet!

Thursday 19. This whole day, though much employed in my business, the Lord stood by me, and enabled me to look to him. In the evening he made a way for me to hear his word, and I found it good to wait upon him. He does fulfil his word, They that wait upon the Lord, shall renew their strength. They shall run and not be weary; shall walk and not faint.

I daily see my unprofitableness. My short-comings are many; yet he freely pardons: I see that my strength is perfect weakness; that if Jesus left me a moment, I should fall. And we cannot be any otherwise saved, than by a constant looking to him. O Jesus keep my eye fixed on thee, till I am looked into all thy lovely likeness.

Friday 20. I found much of the goodness of the Lord. I want to love him more, that I may serve him better. I do not love or praise him as I would: but he does not despise the day of small things.

I find he visits me with his love in a particular manner, before any particular trial. A trial I met with this evening caused heaviness for a time: but I was comforted under the sermon. How numberless are thy thoughts of love to my soul! They are more than the sands on the sea shore.

Saturday 21. I found my mind frequently wandering. O thou friend of sinners,

Settle and fix my wav’ring soul

With all thy weight of love!

I was variously tempted, and I reasoned with the temptation, which increased it more and more, till Jesus shewed me, it was from an enemy, and graciously delivered me. O teach me wisdom to know his devices, and pardon my unfaithfulness! Strengthen my faith, confirm my hope, and perfect me in love.

Sunday 12. This has been a sabbath of rest to my soul. Glory be to thy great and glorious name, O thou fountain of love! What shall I do to praise thee for thy free grace to the most unfaithful of thy children? O what cause have I to esteem thy word? It is sweeter than honey or the honey-comb. I am athirst for all that Christ has purchased for me. I long for more of his meek and lowly mind! The mind that beareth all things: O that every thought may continually rise to thee!

Monday 23. This has been an happy day to me, the most unworthy of thy children. I have had a constant sense of the presence of my Beloved, comforting and refreshing my soul. I sat under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste. Yet I see that my wants are many, and that there are heights and depths to be attained here. I am truly ashamed before God of my own unprofitableness. Yet he graciously passes by all my follies, without even upbraiding me. Yea, he applies with power that comfortable promise, I will betroth thee unto me in righteousness, and in judgment, and in loving-kindness, and faithfulness; and thou shalt know the Lord. I know thee; but I long to know thee more, O thou that art altogether lovely!

Insatiate to this spring I fly:

I drink, and yet am ever dry,

Ah! who against such charms is proof?

Ah! who that loves, can love enough!

Tuesday 24. I was closely assaulted by the enemy. He pursueth hard after me: but when he cometh in like a flood, Jesus lifts up a standard against him. He brought many heavy accusations against me. I durst not stay to reason with him for a moment. But I flew to Jesus as for my life, and cried to him to deliver me. And he did so, by applying that promise to my heart, My grace is sufficient for thee. I find it is, even for me. The name of Jesus is a strong tower, where the righteous may always resort. I spent great part of this day in visiting the sick, and found it a blessing to me. How much better is it, to go to the house of mourning, than to the house of feasting! How glad should I be of more time to spend among thy afflicted followers? But in this, as in every thing beside, not mine will, but thine be done.

Thursday 26. I find this day, thy love is better than life. Thy strength is made perfect in my weakness. I long to be wholly given up to thee. I visited one of our sick friends, and my soul was refreshed with her. To enjoy thy presence on a sick bed, is unspeakable happiness. Then nothing will do, but a real interest in a crucified Redeemer. It is only the blessed experience of this, which then gives true peace, freedom from all anxious care, and resignation in pain. Our anchor is cast within the veil: our hope is full of immortality. O glorious hope of perfect bliss! And am I a partaker of this hope?

O wondrous grace! O boundless love!

Friday 27. O Jesus, what hast thou done for me? What shall I say unto thee? This I can say, that I love thee: and let it be with every faculty of my soul! I do find thy name as ointment poured forth. Thou leadest me in green pastures, by the still waters of comfort.

When nature fails, and day and night

Divide thy works no more,

My ever thankful soul, O Lord,

Thy goodness shall adore.

Saturday 28. This morning I had a trial, but Jesus stood by me, and kept my mind in peace. Visiting a friend in the evening, I was much comforted. God was with us of a truth. O how full of love are thy thoughts towards me! All things shall work together for my good.

Monday 30. This has been one of my best days. I think I never had before such a sense of the goodness of God to me, and my entire dependence on him. My soul has been upon the stretch for all the fruit of the Spirit. I never saw such beauty in humility, and felt such a desire after it.

The following paper bears no date.

“O Jesus, how richly hast thou provided for me here? Thou givest me a large earnest of my inheritance. Thou dost give me to drink of that fountain of living water. O that it may be in me as a well of water, springing up into everlasting life! O thou fairest among ten thousand, what hast thou done for such a worm as me! Thou hast purchased for me holiness and heaven; yea, heaven upon earth. Thou dost give thyself to me, and with thyself all things. Be astonished, O my soul, at the large inheritance which thy Jesus has purchased for thee! Behold the rivers of pleasure that flow at his right hand! And there thou shalt behold his face without a veil:

“Far from a world of grief and sin,

With God eternally shut in!”