The Influence of Family-Worship on Parents
In order to educate the children of a land, we must first educate the parents: and if an institution were demanded for this special purpose, it would be impossible to find one comparable to Family- Worship. Some things which were hinted at, in the foregoing chapter, may here be laid open more explicitly.
The maintenance of domestic religion in every house is primarily entrusted to the head of the family, whoever this may be. If he is totally unfitted for the charge, by an unbelieving mind, or an ungodly life, the consideration is one which should startle and appal him: and it is afifectionately submitted to any reader whose conscience may plead guilty to such an imputation. There are instances, where divine grace has so endowed some one of the household,, even though not the parent, or the senior, as plainly to devolve on him the performance of this duty. The widowed mother, or the elder sister, or the actual guardian, may stand in the parent’s
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place. But inasmuch as in a majority of cases, the service if rendered at all must be rendered by the father, we shall treat the subject under this supposition; premising, that the principles laid down apply in most of their extent to all the other influences.
No man can approach the duty of leading his household in an act of devotion, without solemn reflection on the place which he occupies in regard to them. He is their head. He is such by a divine and unalterable constitution. These are duties and prerogatives which he cannot alienate. There is something more than mere precedence in age, knowledge, or substance. He is the father and the master. No act of his, and nothing in his character, can fail to leave a mark on those around him. This he will be apt to feel when he calls them about him to pray to God; and the more devoutly he addresses himself to the work, the more will he feel it. Though all priesthood, in the proper sense, is now done away on earth, and absorbed in the functions of the great High Priest, there is still something like a priestly intervention in the service of the Christian patriarch. He is now about to go before the little flock in the oblation of a spiritual sacrifice of prayer and adoration. Thus it is said, respecting Christ: ‘’ By him, therefore, let us offer the sacrifice of praise to God continually; that is, the fruit of our lips, giving thanks to his name.“* This perpetual offering, the head of the family is about to make. Until long perseverance in a deadening formality of routine shall have blunted all sensibility, he must yield to the solemn impression. It will sometimes lie like a burden at his heart; it will sometimes swell within his aifections, like “wine which hath no vent.”t These are salutary and elevating emotions, which go to form the grave and lofty character which may be observed in the old peasantry of Scotland. Though he be but a poor and unlettered man, who bows his hoary head amidst a band of sons and daughters, yet is he more sublimely honoured than prayerless kings. His head is encircled with that “crown of glory,” which is found “in the way of righteousness.” J The father who, year after year, presides in the sacred domestic assembly, submits himself to an influence which is in-Heb. xiii. 15. f Job xxxii. 19. Prov. xvi. 31.
5 calciilably strong on his own parental character.
Where is a parent so likely to admit the impression of his responsibility, as where he gathers his household for worship? It is true, at all times, that he is bound to watch for their souls; but now he is placed where he must feel it to be true. His family are met in a religious capacity, and looking up to him for guidance. His eye cannot light on a single member of the group who is not committed to his especial charge. Among all these there is not one for whom he shall, not give account at* the judgment-seat of Christ. The wife of his youth! to whom shall she look for spiritual watch, if not to him? And how unnatural the family-relation, when this guardianship is repudiated, and this relation reversed! The children! if ever saved, it will probably be in some degree consequent on his exertions. Domestics, and apprentices, and sojourners, are all committed for a term longer or shorter, to his care. The domestic minister will surely cry. Who is sufficient for these things? and most of all when in the very performance of these duties. If his conscience is kept awake, by personal acquaintance with
God, he will never enter upon family- worship without sentiments which involve this very accountability: and such sentiments cannot but have their impression on the parental character.
Unspeakable good would ensue, if every father could feel himself to be the earthly, but divinely-appointed, head-spring of religious influence to his household. Is it not true? and is there any means of making him feel it to be true, which can be compared to the institution of Family- Worship? Now he has assumed his rightful place, as an instructor, a guide, and an exemplar in devotion. Now his mouth, even though he be a silent or a bashful man, is opened. Now he can, at least, rehearse the “words which the Holy Ghost speaketh,” and give outlet to the gush of pent-up emotions. Perhaps some word may reach the son, or the servant, long estranged. Perhaps some prayer, more ardent, more believing than usual, may find audience for these beloved, immortal souls. He is in the posture for seeing and for feeling these things; and that is no despicable instrument in the education of the parent, which puts him into this posture.
The hour of domestic prayer and praise is also the hour of scriptural instruction. The father has opened God’s word, in the presence of his little flock. He thus admits himself to be its teacher and under-shepherd. Perhaps he is but a plain man, living by his labour, unused to schools or libraries, and, like Moses, ‘’ slow of speech, and of a slow tongue.” Nevertheless, he stands by the open well of wisdom, and, like the same Moses, may draw water enough and water the flock.* For the time, he sits ‘’in Moses’ seat,” and no longer ‘’occupieth the room of the unlearned.” This is encouraging and ennobling. As the loving mother rejoices to be the fountain of nourishment to the babe which clings to her warm bosom, so the Christian father delights to convey, even by reverent reading, “the pure milk of the word.” He has found it good to his own soul; he rejoices in an appointed means of conveying it to his offspring. As Jonathan, wdien he said, “See, I pray you, how mine eyes have been enlightened, because I tasted a little of this honey,”t so he desires to dis-
* Exod. ii. la i 1 Sam. xiv. 29.
pense to his household that word of the Lord, which is “sweeter than honey and the honeycomb.”* The humblest master of a house may well feel himself exalted by recognising such a relation to those who are under his care.
The example of a father is acknowledged to be all-important. The stream must not be expected to rise higher than the fountain. The Christian householder will feel himself constrained to say: I am leading my family in solemn addresses to God; what manner of man should I be! how wise, holy, and exemplary! This undoubtedly has been, in cases innumerable, the direct operation of Family-Worship on the father. As we know that worldly men, and inconsistent professors, are deterred from performing this duty by the consciousness of a discrepance between their life and any acts of devotion, so humble Christians are led by the same comparison to be more circumspect, and to order their ways in such a manner as may edify their dependants. There cannot be too many motives to a holy life, nor too many safe-
* Psalm xix. 10.
5* guards to parental example. Establish the worship of God in any house, and you erect around it a new barrier against the irruption of the world, the flesh, and the devil.
The master of the house, in Family-Worship, appears as the intercessor for his household. The great Intercessor is indeed above, but ‘’supplications, prayers, intercessions, Bud giving of thanks“* are to be made below; and by whom, if not by the father, for his family? The thought of this must bring solemn reflections. The parent who, with any sincerity, comes daihj to implore blessings on his wife, children, and domestics, will bethink himself as to what they need. Here will be an urgent motive to inquire into their wants, temptations, weaknesses, errors, and transgressions. The eye of a genuine father will be quick, his heart will be sensitive on these points: and the hour of devotion will gather these solicitudes together. From such a motive, as we have already seen, holy Job, after the festivities of his children,” sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt-oflferings,
* 1 Tim. ii. 10.
according to the number of them all; for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed God in their hearts. Thus did Job continually y Whatever may have been the effect on the sons, the effect on Job himself was, no doubt, an awakening of mind as to his parental responsibility; and such is the effect of Family-Worship on the head of a household.
The father of a family is under a wholesome influence, when he is brought every day to take a post of observation, and say to his own heart, ‘’ By this single means, in addition to all others, I am exerting some definite influence, good or bad, upon all who surround me. I cannot omit this service, needlessly; perhaps I cannot omit it at all, without detriment to my house. I cannot read the word, I cannot sing, I cannot pray, without leaving some trace on the tender mind. How solemnly, how affectionately, how believingly, should I then approach this ordinance! with how much godly fear and preparation! My conduct in this worship may save or may kill. Here is my great
* Job i. 5.
channel for reaching the case of those who are submitted to my charge.” These are wholesome thoughts, naturally engendered by a daily ordinance which too many regard as little better than a form.
The Christian husband needs to be reminded of his obligations; he cannot be reminded of them too often. The respect, the forbearance, the love, which the Scriptures enjoin towards the feebler and more dependent party in the conjugal alliance, and which are the crown and glory of Christian wedlock, are never more brought into action, than when they who have plighted their faith to one another,years ago, are brought day by day to the place of prayer, and lift up a united heart at the feet of infinite mercy. As the head of every man is Christ, so the head of the woman is the man.* His post is responsible, and that in spirituals. He can seldom feel it more sensibly than when he falls down with the partner of his burdens at the throne of grace.
The father sees his children before him. The word which he reads to them, contains
* 1 Cor. xi. 3.
his duties to them. Whatsoever there may be of paternal affection within him, must break forth at such a moment; and the frequent repetition of such sentiments must educate the heart.
The master — if I may employ a term which is in a fair way to be obsolete, in our day of license and levelling — calls together his servants, and all under his control, for the worship of God. If forgetful of it at other times, he must now acknowdedge and feel, at least on some occasions, that the salvation of his dependants is, to a certain extent, consigned to his care. If he can do no more, he can read God’s word to them; he can pray for them. It is not, however, the effect on the servant or child, but the effect on the master and father, that we are now considering. Let any reflective jnind contemplate the subject, and he will be persuaded that there must be a marked and increasing difference between the parental feelings and principles of one who habitually worships God in his family, and one who worships him not. It is no trifle to have religion perpetually brought to bear upon the parental relation. In the shop, the market, the field, the highway, the office, the exchange, and even in the pulpit, the father may forget that he is a father: he cannot forget it when the curtain has dropped, when the circle draws more closely around the hearth, when the wife of his youth welcomes him to prayer, and when the eyes of his little ones are fixed on him as the minister of God to their souls. I no lonoer marvel that Christianity becomes a dying, empty, thing, in the houses of those professors (alas, that there should be such!) where lere is no joint worship of God.
In the rage for amassing wealth, which threatens the church among us, and especially in our great commercial cities, there is an estranging process going on, which we fear is too little observed. Such is the insane precipitation with which the man of business rushes to his morning’s task, and such the length of his absence from home, often extending till the hours of darkness, that he gradually loses some of that parental tenderness which Providence keeps alive by the presence of those whom we love. The long continuance of such habits cannot fail to affect the character. Of all persons in the world, he should be most willing to take time for family-devotion, who is by bis very employment shut out from bis borne most of everyday. Tbe paternal heart demands this bonr of culture. A deliberate service, in vbicb the voices of infancy and age unite in praising God, amidst the flow of mutual affection, is a blessed means of countervailing the hard and selfish world which surrounds him. But above all does the Christian parent need something to keep him constantly in remembrance that his children have souls; that they look to him for more than their earthly support, and that there are means wdiereby, under God, be may be the instrument of their salvation. If, amidst the avocations of this life, he seldom finds time to deal faithfully with their souls; if he rarely conveys to them any sign of fear for their safety; if he is dumb in respect to Christ and eternity; here is a daily service, of which the direct tendency will be to arouse him to these duties. Can it be possible for a man to pray earnestly for the salvation of his children, in their bearing, representing them to God in earnest supplication, as dead in trespasses and sins, while at the same time, he leaves them to wonder why no syllable ever falls from bis lips, on those momentous subjects? The praying parent has a daily remembrancer of these and the like obligations; and while he asks heavenly-good for his household, he will sometimes cry to God for grace to fulfil them. The answer of such prayers will not be withheld. The prayer-hearing God will render him a better parent, will endow him wdth those peculiar gifts, for which, alas! professing parents are so slow to seek; and will cause him to discharcre the oblioations of this fearful station, in a better manner, to say the least, than those who. hasten through life without any token of family -religion.
Prayerless parents have cause to tremble. God’s anger may light upon them in their parental relation, as Eli’s neglect was visited.* They have no right to expect parental happiness. They place themselves and their household in the defenceless condition of the heathen. “Pour out thy fury upon the heathen, that know thee not, and upon the families that call not on thy name.”t Family-prayer invites and bespeaks the blessing of God on all concerned, but chiefly on him
* 1 Sam. iii. 13. t Jer. x. 25.
who leads in it. Better a roofless than a prayerless house: better beg one’s bread, with prayer, than deny God by a neglect of this chief means of domestic prosperity. One who has any genuine religious faith, and any trust in God’s promises, must be assured, that in the rearing of his household, in providing for their support and education, in governing and restraining them, and in labouring for their souls, no good can ensue, but by the blessing of God: and this blessing, in the way of direction and grace, the Christian parent should join with his family in asking, every day So doing he will be not only a better man, but a better father. He will love his children more, and more wisely. He will be doubly a parent to them, by the power and affection of a holy example. He will be better able to bear those reverses and bereavements which may befall him. “But how shocking is the prospect, if you are determined to resist conviction, and live in the wilful neglect of this duty! Your families are like to be nurseries for hell; or if there should be an Abijah in them, ’ one in whom some good thing is found toward the Lord God of Israel,’* no
* 1 Kinofs xiv. 13. 6 thanks to you for it; you must be punished for your neglect of him, as though he had perished by your iniquity.”*