The Wife's Advocate

Malachi ii. 13 — 15.

j?nrf thi? have ye done airain, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping-, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good-wiU at your hand. Yet ye say. Wherefore 7 Because the Lord hath been loitness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. Jlnd did not he make one! Yet had he the residue of the Spirit. And tcherefore onel That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.

It has been the lot of some very good men, to live in very bad times. And this was the case with Malachi. Even then, indeed, some were found, ’ who feared the Lord, and thought upon his name.’ And they were graciously noticed and distinguished by him: ‘They shall be mine, saith the Lord of Hosts, in that day when I shall make up my jewels; and I will spare them as a man spareth his own son that serveth him.’

These, however, were only so many exceptions from the multitude; and resembled a few small luminaries, that serve to render the darkness between, the more palpable. According to the language of our prophet, the degeneracy was complete. From the crown of the head to the soul of the foot, there was no soundness. The young and the old; the rich and the poor; rulers and subjects; priests and people, were all deeply revolted from God.

In such a corrupt state of society, the office of a minister is not a very enviable, or easy one. It is trying to censure and condemn; and he that is not faithful to his conscience and commission, will fail under the trial, and prophesy smooth things, because the multitude love to have it so. But the man of God, raised above the love of fame, and the dread of frowns, will not shun ’ to declare all the counsel of God,” warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom, that he may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus.’

The connexions of life, the sources of so much virtue and sin, happiness and misery j are numerous and various; and when properly estimated, they are not to be judged of by their publicity, and elevation, and splendor; but by the constancy of their influence, the extent of their operation, and the importance of their effects. The most ordinary relations, therefore, are the most fundamental. These are the DOMESTIC. Communities originate from families; and depend upon them: and the quality of the one must partake largely of the attributes of the other. In religious concerns, it is not too much to say, with Philip Henry, that ’ a man is really what he is relatively.’ We are aware that there is much of instinct in the relative affections; and that they do not strike far into moral character. The existence of them alone, is not a sufficient proof of piety. But it is otherwise with the absence of them. This is decisive evidence against a person. If he is bad at home, he is bad every where. If he is a bad father, and a bad husband, he cannot be a good man. And, therefore, when a very eminent minister was asked whether he thought a certain individual was truly pious, he replied, I cannot tell — I never lived with him.’

Hence a preacher that would make full proof of his ministry, must enter the scenery of families, and inquire how matters stand between masters and servants; parents and children; wives and husbands.

And it is here, we find Malachi. He is dealing with the latter relationship; and he speaks boldly as he ought to speak: ‘And this have ye done again, covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out, insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with good-will at your hand. Yet ye say. Wherefore? Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously: yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the Spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.’

Let us attend to four articles.

The subject of complaint.

The aggravation of the offence.

The CONDEMNATION OF THE TRANSGRES-SOR.

The means of prevention.

I. The subject of complaint. The charge is against unkind husbands; and consists in this — That they embittered the lives of those they ought to have loved and cherished; so that they caused them, when they approached the sanctuary of God, instead of rejoicing before him, as his service required, to break forth into the most passionate expression of grief. ‘This have ye done, covering the ahar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out.’

Who does not here call to mind the history of Hannah? ‘And as she went to the house of the Lord, so her adversary provoked her much, for to make her fret, because the Lord had shut up her womb. Therefore she wept and did not eat — and she was in bitterness of soul, and prayed unto the Lord, and wept sore.’ But you say, ‘This was not occasioned by Elkanah. He was an attached and an attentive husband.’ It is true, it was not occasioned by him immediately; but it was so really. Had Hannah been, as she ought to have been, his only wife, the distress would have been prevented; and she would not have found herself in alliance with a fellowswife, that delighted to insult and aggravate her disappointment.

And you will observe, that this w’as one of the ways, in which the husbands, here complained of, converted the very devotion of their wives into mourning, and made the altar of God, not a place of gladness and praise, but of refuge and appeal. They added to their number; and thus vexed and degraded their wives, by reducing them from peace to a state of contention; from supremacy to jealousy and rivalship; from being the sole objects of attraction, to share divided, diminished, precarious regards.

Though polygamy had been long practised, it was never justified. The very tolerance of it, in every instance, showed most clearly and strongly by the effects, that it was a deviation from rectitude. That which is irreconcilable to the welfare of domestic life, could never obtain the approbation of Him who ordained that state, not only for the purpose of purity, but of peace and happiness. The evils arising from the usage itself, therefore, had so far checked it, that in Judea, at the time of. our Saviour, we meet with no instances of it. It was also forbidden among the Greeks and Romans. And this accounts, as Paley observes, for our finding no particular enactment against it in the New Testament; but it is said, ‘To avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife — not wives; and let every wife have her own husband.^

The pleasure of God also appears in proportioning the actual number of males and females. There is, indeed, some little inequality in the births of these; but the fact strengthens the reasoning. If there are born more males than females, by one in nineteen, the level is restored by the superior casualties to which the male sex is exposed; and the balance remaining, allows but one woman to one man. And what can show the will of God more decisively than his conduct? If we go back to the beginning of the world, no conceivable reason can be given, why, if polygamy was to be continued to the human race, it should not have commenced with it. But hear our prophet: ‘And did not he make one?’ One Eve for one Adam? Adam even in Paradise had one wife only. This oneness, therefore, could not have been deemed a confinement, but a regulation becoming the most perfect state. ‘Yet had he the residue of the Spirit;’ and could therefore have made another partner as fair and lovely as Eve herself was. ‘’ And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed.’ And where is such a pious offspring likely to be found? Can children be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, in the presence of the lawlessness of one sex, and the debasement of the other? In the residence of oppression, sensuality, passion, artifice, hypocrisies? In the midst of divided and opposing interests, dissensions, swellings, tumults? ‘Where envy and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work.’

But another of the evils here reprobated, was the putting away their wives when they chose to dislike them. Unless in one case, conceded by reason and revelation, the marriage relation is indissoluble. Hence, says our Saviour, in answer to the question of the Pharisees, ‘Is it lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause? Have ye not read, that He who made them at the beginning, made them male and female; and said, For this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife; and they twain shall be one flesh? What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.’ Upon which they said unto him, ‘Why then did Moses command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away?’ He said unto them, ‘Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, suffered you to put away your wives; but from the beginning it was not so. And I say unto you, whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her which is put away, doth commit adultery.’

This exception being made, ‘The Lord God of Israel saith, that he hateth putting away.’ Cases of hardship bearing peculiarly on individuals, will doubtless now and then occur; but such occasional evils are more than compensated by the advantages of the limitation. For we should consider what would be, not the personal and immediate, but the general and the ultimate tendency and effects of larger permission. Whatever other reasons for divorce were allowed, many would be sure to live up to them; and licentiousness would soon also acquire yet more allowance. This was seen in France. When, after the Revolution, husbands were permitted to put away their wives for unsuitableness of temper, mutual dislike, perverseness, and other things; bad men availed themselves of every excuse to disensase themselves from restraint; and dissoluteness and misery spread among thousands, who would otherwise have been satisfied with their condition. For people soon acquiesce in what they know to be unalterable; and their destiny, by habit, is easily moulded into choice. They who are conscious that they cannot separate, will feel that it is their mutual interest to forbear, to give up, and to accommodate. To which we may add, that when a connexion is formed for life, much more prudence and care are likely to be exercised in forming it, than if it were terminable at pleasure.

We cannot be censured for these remarks. Not only has cur subject brought them before us; but they are very worthy of our attention; and we cannot help observing, that the exclusion of polygamy and the prohibition of divorce, confining marriage to one pair, and rendering the union indissoluble, have done more to promote and secure the morals and welfare of the community, than all the institutions, the wisdom and goodness of legislators have ever established. Nor can we be sufficiently thankful, that in these important concerns, the laws of our country fall in with the authority of God.

But though, in this highly favoured land, neither of these modes of domestic persecution is open to a husband; there are many other ways in which he may ’ cover the altar of the Lord with tears, and with weeping, and crying out.’

He cannot safely take to himself more wives than one. But to that one he may prove unfaithful; and basely transfer to another, the affection alone due to herself.

He cannot legally put away his wife. But by oppressive and cruel, degrading and insulting conduct, he may force her to withdraw; and then falsely plead and use the refusal to live with him, which he himself designedly produced.

I know not how to refer to bodily violence. ‘No man ever yet hated his own flesh, but nourisheth and cherisheth it.’ But is there a brute in human shape? Is there a wretch, miscalled a husband, who is not ashamed to execute what the preacher is ashamed even to intimate?

But every depth of disgrace, every exertion of cruelty, is not necessary to break a tender heart, or to crush a delicate spirit. He may accomplish his work by studied neglect; by churlish manners; by unkind language; by alienated or angry looks. A contemptuous sneer will strike a death-chill into every feeling. A bitter irony will sting like a scorpion, and leave the deadly rankling behind.

He may reduce her to the mortification of seeing him restless at home; always anxious to contrive or excuse absence, instead of dwelling with her according to knowledge; and fonder of any company than the society of his wife.

He may deprive her of her needful support and comfort. And though she would patiently and cheerfully share in the privations and distress brought on them by the providence of God, she cannot but feel grievously the trial of hardships and straits arising solely from idleness, or drunkenness, or gaming, or licentiousness.

He may wound her, by withholding from her the confidence required by the mutuality and unity of the relation — a relation that allows nothing to be concealed; nothing to be found out by search or accident. Yet it is not a very uncommon trial for a wife, unapprised, unprepared, to be plunged fi:om genteel life into destitution and wo; while she has been censured for living in a style she would have been the first to have reduced, had she divined the event that rendered it a duty.

We cannot do justice to this part of our subject. The causes of complaint are numberless. But we must not avoid adding —

That relative trials are often more painful than personal ones. That in the case before us, the anguish is enhanced by the nearness and importance of the quarter from which it comes; and that it is frequently increased by secrecy and suppression, the sufferer being denied the relief of pouring her sorrow even perhaps into the ear of friendship. The heart knows the bitterness. The groanings cannot be uttered. But let us pass from the complaint to

II. The aggravation of the offence. It is taken from the character of the aggrieved.

First: ‘She is the wife of thy youth.’ The exemplification is derived from an early marriage: and the reference is a countenance of the usage. Men may marry when they please; but, in order to illustrate the force of this relation, the scripture does not notice confederacies of profit; bargains of conveniency; provisions of nursery-hood for infirmity, and sickness, and death; — the only connexion to which God in his word ever alludes, and from which he reasons, is the wife of youth.’

To such an object there will belong a pecu-THE WIFE’S ADVOCATE. H?

liar affection. It is the first attachment; fresh, simple, and undebased. The feelings strike deeper, and root firmer, owing to earlier implantation and longer growth. The conformity between the parties is more full and perfect; as they assimilate into the qualities of each other more easily while soft and pliant, than after years and habitudes have confirmed them, and rendered all change impossible, or difficult and irksome.

About what other object, when taken away, will a man’s memory linger so long and tenaciously, as the image of the wife of his youth? Of her who first drew into one mighty and exquisite feeling all the sympathies of his heart? Of her with whom he passed the delicious season of virtuous courtship? Of Aer who inspired him with all the liveliness and enjoyment of hope? Of her who first made him sensible of the endearments of domestic bliss? Of her who first, by the cry and the image of innocent helplessness, told him the tenderness of the parental relation? Of her on whose knee his child first clasped his little hands to pray? Of her whose leaning so often pressed his arm, in his way to the house of God, in the walks of rural excursion, and the journey of life?

And canst thou, O man, overlook all this while she is living? What if the charm that lighted up the blaze of attachment be now fading? The rose could not always bloom: but surely the fragrance remains. What if infirmities more suddenly or slowly begin to appear: now is the time for evincing and displaying a more grateful and unselfish affection. Is the worth of years to be forgotten? Has she not been always thy ministering spirit? Has not thy happiness been dearer to her than her own? In all thy afflictions, has she not been afflicted? Perhaps in giving life, or watching over the pain and malady of thy offspring, she has impaired her frame, and health is only now a living sacrifice. Go and make God thine example: ‘I remember Thee, the kindness of thy youth, the love of thine espousals, when thou wentest after me in the wilderness, in a land that was not sown.’

Secondly, says the prophet, * Is she not thy companion T This, perhaps, is the most lovely and becoming idea of the relation that can be supplied. She Is not, O man, thy superior: she is not thy slave, thy servant, thy dependent. She Is Indeed a help-mate; so art thou — but she Is thy companion.’

Yet, as a companion, she Is very distinguishable from every other. A brother or sister Is a companion; but they are so Involuntarily — she Is thy companion by choice. Many are companions for a while; but they are separable from us, and our Intercourse may be reduced to correspondence — she Is thy companion for life. Let other companions be ever so Intimate, they have yet their separate allotments — she Is thy companion, so as to have no Interests of her own, but Is an equal sharer In all the cares and comforts of thine.

It will be confessed, that there are some differences between the male and the female character, produced by nature, and enlarged by education. But the very differences render them the more mutually eligible as companions. The defective qualities of each are provided for in the attributes of the other. Both excel; but they excel in their own way. He is more characterized by thought; she, by sympathy: but these properties demand and aid each other. The eagerness, the sensitiveness, the dehcacy, the genius, of the female, would unnerve the man: and the courage, the inflexibility, the severeness of the man, would unsex the female. Nothing can be more absurd than to oppose their respective claims; nothing more injurious than to separate them. Let their peculiar properties and places be retained, and all will be found adaptation and order. Let them be associated, and all will be found harmony and completeness.

But how is it to be lamented when their companionship is not carried into the widest, noblest, and most important region of its exercise — I mean religion! How unmeet is it, while one goes into the presence of God by devotion, for the other to stand without, till this transaction be over! How forceless the petition singly signed, while the voice of love and union cries, ‘If two of you shall agree on earth, as touching any thing they may ask, it shall be done of my heavenly Father!’ How strange and unsightly must it be for one of these associates to be walking the way everlasting, while the other is going the road to death I How hurtful and fatal to divide and. separate, where, weak and opposed alone, they need every mutual encouragement and assistance I How appalling to reflect, that the most endearing alliance must be broken up forever at the termination of a life equally short and uncertain!

Husbands and wives! never forget that you are moral and accountable beings; and that the present life is only the threshold of existence. Be companions in faith and godliness. Walk together as hrs of the grace of life. Take sweet counsel together, and go to the house of God in company. Allure each other over the land of revelation in the length and breadth thereof. Mutually survey its prospects, admire its beauties, and gather of its flowers and fruits. Encourage one another with these words; and let your hearts be comforted and knit together in love unto all riches of the full assurance of understanding to the acknowledgment of the mystery of God, and of the Father, and of Christ, in whom, are hid all the treasures of wisdoni and knowledge. Then your children will not be perplexed by contrary counsels and examples. Then you will be lovely in life, and in death not divided. Then your separation will be only temporary; a time of re-union will come; and the intercourse of pure and perfected friendship will be renewed forever.

Thirdly: ‘She is the wife of thy covenant.’’ Covenant here means the marriage contract; and by the mention of this, the husband is called upon to remember that the vows of God are upon him. A truly virtuous man will feel love more binding than law; yet considering human frailty, and the interests of society, it is well to be bound by duty as well as affection: and be constrained, if we act wrong, not only to violate principle, but obligation. The forms and rites of the connubial engagement may vary in different ages and countries; but some sanction has been always required. If the contract be not directly a religious transaction, it has generally been accompanied and enforced by religious sanctions. And surely such a connexion can never be rendered too solemn and too sacred. It is the most awful and interesting compact into which it is possible to enter. Yet there are men who can trifle with a stipulation so momentous; and seem to forget all the responsibilities it entails: requiring perhaps at the same time exact fidelity on the other side — as if, in a covenant, both the parties were not equally bound. Did these men, beforehand, tell the persons they are endeavouring to espouse, how they’ designed to treat them; or did they refuse to pledge themselves to any kind of agreeable and good behaviour towards them; they would act an open part at least; and their wives, though chargeable with folly in venturing to advance, would yet have no deceitfulness to complain of. But when a man has voluntarily promised and bound himself by oath, he is no longer at liberty to behave otherwise than his engagement prescribes, without falsehood, perfidy, perjury, and disgrace.

He that does not verify the engagement not only implied but expressed, upon which alone the heart was surrendered to him, is no better than a seducer. He falsely wins confidence, basely to betray it; and proclaims hiraself not only to be destitute of the principles of a Christian, but the honour of a man: and for want of common honesty, he ought to be shunned by all reputable society. Herod, though he was grieved at his promise, yet would not refuse to ratify it, for his oath’s sake. Jephthah, though he had to sacrifice his own daughter, yet, said he, ‘I have opened my mouth unto the Lord, and I cannot go back.” A good man svveareth to his own hurt, and changeth not.’ And we know who has said, ‘When thou vowest a vow unto God, defer not to pay it; for he hath no pleasure in fools. Pay that which thou hast vowed. Better is it that thou shouldst not vow, than that thou shouldst vow and not pay. Sufi’er not thy mouth to cause thy flesh to sin; neither say thou before the angel, that it was an error: wherefore should God be angry at thy voice, and destroy the work of thy hands?’ Therefore let us consider

III. The condemnation of the transgressor. Here we have both the sentence and the evidence upon which it is adjudged.

The first Is thus expressed: Insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more, or receiveth it with with good-will at your hand.’ And is this a light thing? God is the supreme good. In His favour is life. It is the most delightful consciousness in the world to know that we are accepted of him; and to have the testimony that we please God. But all here is aversion, rejection, contempt. ‘I will have no communion with you. I hate not only your sins, but your services.’

It would seem surprising, indeed, that those who live in disobedience to his commands, should yet be found attending the worship of God at all: for there is much in the Dutch proverb, ‘Praying will make a man leave off sinning, or sinning will make a man leave off praying.’ But the heart is deceitful above all things, as well as desperately wicked: and the inconsistencies it is continually putting forth, are as wonderful as in things in the course of nature or order of providence. There are those who will observe the form of godliness, and deny the power of it. There are those who will support the cause of Christ and defraud their tradesmen: who will regard the positive ordinances of religion; and neglect its moral requisitions: who will value the ritual part of devotion, and violate the practical How many are godly on the Sabbath, and worldly all the week! Who appear saints in the house of God, and are demons in their own! Are there not some who even maintain morning and evening service in their families, and yet cover the altar of the Lord with tears and with weeping, and crying out?

But let such know that omission is preferable to perversion. And let them ‘go and learn what that meaneth, I will have mercy and not sacrifice.’ ‘God heareth not sinners; but if any man be a worshipper of God, and doeth his will, him he heareth.” He that stoppeth his ears at the cry of the poor, he also shall cry himself, and shall not be heard.’ Hence the God of Israel saith, ‘He that kiileth an ox, is as if he slew a man: he that sacrificeth a lamb, as if he cut off a dog’s neck: he that ofFereth an oblation, as if he offered swine’s blood: he that burneth incense, as if he blessed an idoL’ Wherefore? Were not these observances of His own appointment? They were. Bat He loathed them when they became substitutes for moral principle, or connected with practices which he had condemned. Therefore, says he, Wash ye, make you clean, put away the evil of your doings from before mine eyes. Seek justice; relieve the oppressed; judge the fatherless; plead for the widow. Come now “and let us reason together, saith the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.’ Is this a light thing? More is implied than is expressed. There is no medium between non-acceptance with God, and condemnation. If we are not in his favour, we are under his wrath. And who can stand before Him when once He is angry? The grand question is, In what relation are we found to Him? Is He our friend or our foe? If our foe, he can arm all creatures against us: he can operate immediately upon our mind: he can pursue ns beyond the grave, which screens us from all other enemies; and, after he hath killed, can cast into hell. He that judgeth us is the Lord. And if He be for us, who can be against us? He can make all things work together for our good. They whom he blesses are blessed: and they whom he curses are cursed: and none can reverse it.

And is this a light thing? Wisdom cries, Hide not thy face from me: put not thy servant away in anger. There be many that say. Who will show us any good? Lord, lift thou up the light of thy countenance upon me. And, to heal this broken heart; to soothe every sorrow; to sweeten every comfort; to raise me above the fear of every evil; say unto my soul, I am thy salvation.

But, secondly, who are these? In order to punish legally, there must be not only guilt, but conviction; and there is no conviction without evidence, without witness. Who is the witness here? God himself ‘The Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, though she is thy companion and the wife of thy covenant.’ This indeed is a case in which human witness is not, and cannot be always attainable. A few transgress sors may be careless of observation, and, in their shame, seek no disguise: but in general, the offender courts secrecy. He knows his reputation is at stake; and that nothing lowers a man more in common estimation than improper temper and conduct towards the most claimful of all relations. He therefore tries as much as possible to cloak it. Before others, he is often full of pretensions. He uses, perhaps, the most endearing expressions; and while the sufferer is conscious of the falseness of all this display, he passes for a respectable, perhaps a fond husband. But not with Him whose eyes are in every place, beholding the evil and the good. He sets his secret sins in the light of his countenance.

It would be well for us always to remember that God sees us; and the less we are under the cognizance of others, the more, in a weCy of motive and influence, we need to realize the inspection of our witness in heaven and our record on high. In the world and in the church we are more upon our guard, because there are many to observe us; but in our dwellings we give ourselves more latitudes,

But God is there; and therefore we should walk within our house with a perfect heart, and set no wicked thing before our eyes, and hate the work of them that turn aside. He knoweth our down-sitting, and our up-rising. He compasseth about our path; and is acquainted with all our ways. He is a witness between us and our servants; a witness between us and our children; a witness between us and our wives; a constant witness; an unerring witness; a witness who is at the same time the lawgiver whose orders we contemn; and the judge who will bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good or whether it be evil.

What mysteries of iniquity will that day make manifest! How many tyrants have despatched their victims in dungeons, or by assassins whose employers were never known I How many seducers have entangled and ruined the innocent and unwary, the discovery of whom was suppressed by power or bribery! How many husbands have destroyed the peace, the comfort, the health, the life of those who ought to have been dear to them as their own souls, uncensuredj and even unsuspected! But the Lord comes, who will bring to light the hidden things of darkness, and make manifest the counsels of the heart. Yet in wrath he remembers mercy; and before he destroys, he warns and admonishes. Hence,

IV. The means of prevention. ‘Therefore tdke heed to your spirit and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.’

Here we are led immediately to the soui’ce of all evil. ‘Take heed to your spirit. ‘’ There all begins: and there is no sanctifying the life without an attention to the heart. Therefore says Solomon, Keep thy heart with all diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.’ Heal the spring, and the streams will be wholesome. Make the tree good, and the fruit will be good. Renew the heart, and upon the tongue is the law of kindness. Replenish the heart, and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. ‘A good man out of the good treasure of his heart bringeth forth good things; and an evil man out of the evil treasure, bringeth forth evil things.’

But the meaning is, not only that we should attend to our principles if we would regulate our practice, but that we should never overlook or neglect the very first risings of evil. Evil is spreading like leaven, and a little leaven leaveneth the whole lump. It may be too late to assail the enemy when he has advanced and gathered force from success. Attack him at the outset, while yet his strength is small; and no strong-hold is taken; and no pass is even seized. When lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin; and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Crush, therefore, the cocatrice in the egg, lest it break forth, and become a fiery flying serpent.

Ao-ain. Ml are concerned in this caution; and ’ let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth.’

Are Levites excepted? They are chiefly the persons here complained of. Their lips are indeed to keep knowledge; but they are to do, as well as to teach. They are to be examples, to illustrate and recommend their own doctrine. The snuffers in the tabernacle were to be made of pure gold. They who reprove others are to be blameless themselves. Their exhortations, dishonoured by their own temper and practice, will not only be unavailing, but repulsive; and all the convictions they would fix in the conscience, wull drop like arrows from an impenetrable shield. ‘Behold, thou knowest his will, and approvest the things that are more excellent, being instructed out of the law; and art confident that thou thyself art a guide of the blind, a light of them which are in darkness, an instructer of the foolish, a teacher of babes, which hast the form of knowledge and of the truth in the law. Thou, therefore, which teachest another, teachest thou not thyself? Thou that preachest a man should not steal, dost thou steal? Thou that sayest a man should not commit adultery, dost thou commit adultery? Thou that abhorrest idols, dost thou commit sacrilege? Thou that makest thy boast of the law, through breaking the law dishonourest thou God?’ Who revolts not at receiving his food from a leprous hand? If the bad husband disgraces the good preacher, men will abhor the offering of the Lord. Are the upper ranks above this injunction?

It might be supposed that they had this imagination, from their conduct in too many instances. But the higher the individual, the more is he bound to regard it. He is by his station the more observable and influential; and the more injurious will his life prove, if it be vicious. Evil is a stream; and, like every other stream, it does not ascend but runs downward. Or, to borrow another image, a private person is like a pocket watch, that only misinforms the wearer: a public character is like a town clock, that leads astray the whole parish.

Yet no man is entirely unobserved and uninfluential, especially when placed at the head of a family. Therefore let the low as well as the high remember the advice. Indeed, the less of outward prosperity persons have, the more necessary is it to guard against those tempers and practices that will embitter their trials; and to seek solace, under their privations, in the grace of the gospel, the consolations of religion, and the comforts of domestic peace and love. And execrated be the sentiment, that love and poverty are incompatible. There may be more of contentment, though less of mirth; more of the reality, though less of the show of happiness, in the cottage than in the mansion. Where the Lord is sought, he blesses their bread and their water. When in the simplicity of faith the scriptures are read with prayer, and praise, these are found to be better than thousands of gold and silver.

Is this idle talk? Here is the lansuaoe of mspiration: ‘Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox, and hatred therewith. Better is a little with quietness, than a house full of sacrifices with strife.’ * A little that a righteous man hath, is better than the riches of many wicked.’ What heart-cold wretchedness is often found connected with splendor, abundance, and excess: ‘The blessing of the Lord it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.’

Let the advancing in life guard against the loss of their first regards. The effervescence of the passion may subside, but let the spirit of the principle be preserved; and, like generous wines, it will refine and improve by keeping.

And let not the young be careless. The newly-married pair, happy in the possession of crowned desires, may think themselves in no danger of abated regard: but we have seen goodness, even in wedded life, like the morning cloud and early dew that passeth away. Therefore take heed to your spirit. Watch, not only against the grosser evils, but minor delinquencies. Guard against the first symptom of declension. One thing prepares for, brings in, justifies, another; and, when going astray, the smallness of each movement may keep us unal armed, till we look back, and are shocked at the distance we have reached. Let your wife have no reason for the most distant apprehension. Let no sigh flit across her mind. Be not satisfied to keep within the bare precincts of duty; but care for the things of the wife, how you may please the wife. Be open, be candid, be tender, be attentive, be exemplary. In the connexion before us, inattention leads to indifference; and indifference to dislike; and dislike to disgust. If love be withdrawn, wedded life is confinement, misery, hell. Let love abound, and no ennui is known; no restraint is felt; no task is performed. The yoke is easy; the burden is light. Duty is privilege; and to oblige, is more delightful than to be obliged. But remember, religion is the best promoter and preserver of this love; and therefore let domestic morality be founded in Christian piety.

‘But why have you chosen such a passage as this?’ Go and ask Malachi, why he inserted it in his short series of prophesyings? Go and ask Paid, whether ’ all scripture is not given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness?’ Does not the unspeakable importance of the subject justify the selection? Does not the character of the day in which we live, render such a discourse needful?

But I have availed myself of a particular event to bring forward these thoughts this morning. It is the union of with.

He will have too much good sense to take improperly the drift of the subject; or to suppose that caution and admonition necessarily imply censure or suspicion. No, my young friend; I am fully persuaded better things of you, though I thus speak; and believe that you will regard her, whose heart has safely trusted in you as your companion, the wife of your youth and of your covenant; and continue to love and td cherish till the parting hour. I hail you on the completion of your wishes: ‘He that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing, and obtains favour of the Lord.’ I would not interrupt the joy of your espousals; but surely it cannot be unreasonable to say to the favoured sons of men, Rejoice with trembling.’ The connexion you have formed is frail. It has its duties as well as its delights. It has also its cares as well as its comforts. Look not for a state of unalloyed happiness. Expect not to find the perfection in another, which you know another will never find in you. I commend you to God and to the word of his grace: and may He whom you have honoured in believing his truth, that ’ it is not good for man to be alone,’ look down from heaven, and say, ‘From this day will I bless you.’

But I turn to you, my female friends, and as far as I know my own convictions and feelings, I am your friend; you will therefore allow me to address you freely, especially since I have delivered myself unsparingly to those of my own sex.

First, let me address those who are yet unconnected. It is not improper for you to think of a condition which Nature has ordained us for; and which the scripture pronounces honourable in all. Nor should you revolt from the state because there are husbands who ’ cover the altar of God with tears.’ All men are not liars. Nor should difficulties discourage you. These are found in every condition: and we are persuaded that the state, if properly entered, is the most happy in this vale of tears. How much of the relish of our coniforts is lost in unsocial enjoyment! How much do we need a friend, another self, to alleviate by sharing the cares and griefs of life! How many moments of languor, oppressiveness, and despondency are there, in which the heart beats for attention, sympathy, and kindness! How helpless is a solitary female! how many real dangers surround her; and how are these perils multiplied by solitariness! A single man has a thousand engagements abroad: a woman, if single, has little diversion from thought, and broods over real and imaginary evils. And how inferior is she reckoned to the female who sustains the character of a wife, and a parent, and is performing her duty to the world, and is the source of usefulness to the community!

But there is nothing reproachful in your present condition, unless you choose to make it so by exemplifying in your temper and conduct the imputations thrown on your state, especially in its advancement. Show that it does not necessarily entail malevolence, envy, scandal, curiosity, spleen, insipid formality, prudery, secrecy, a mystifying of trifles. The character and lives of too many of our sex are such as must prevent any reflection upon you for declining them: and your scorning to espouse worthlessness for the sake of any advantage; and your refusing every connexion unapproved by your principles and conscience, as well as affection; will raise you in the estimation of all the wise and good.

Never, therefore, settle it in your minds that you must enter this state; or that marriage is essential to your usefulness, respectability, and happiness. Refer it to Him who has a right to dispose of us as he pleases; and who knows what is best for us. And in the mean time improve the advantages of your present state. You are free from a thousand anxiousnesses and trials, unfriendly to mental culture and enlarged devotion. ‘She that is unmarried careth for the things of the Lord, how she may be holy both in body and spirit. But she that is married, careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband.’ If you have met with disappointment, let these reflections prevent dissatisfaction; and sober your hopes; and make you, when you think of altering your circumstances, to be the more prudent, circumspect and prayerful. Look after good sense, good temper, domestic habits, and, above all, the fear of God. And as, after all your caution and care, it is possible for you to be imposed upon, commit your way unto the Lord, and let integrity and uprightness preserve you while you wait upon him.

Secondly, some of you are found among the bereaved. The guide of your youth, and the companion of your days, is removed from you; and your heart within you is often desolate. 1 am not wishing to open your wounds afresh. You are no longer seen leaning on your beloved: but there is another Being who now stands in the most interesting of all relations to you. He is the ‘Husband of the widow.’ Be not hasty to leave a condition into which his hand has led you; but as a widow indeed, continue trusting in God with all your heart; and hold communion with the hour when you shall re-unite with those who are gone before, and are now waiting to receive you into everlasting habitations.

Thirdly, some of you are in a state that admits of our congratulations. You are affianced to those who are sensible of your value; whose inclinations fall in with their duty; who render love for love, confidence for confidence, attention for attention.

But I feel for others. The flattery which once perhaps your ear was too eager to drink in, has ended in disappointment and sorrow; and your eye poureth out tears unto God. Perhaps you were too sanguine in your expectatlons. Perhaps you looked for more in the relation than reason and scripture have ever promised to afford. Perhaps now, upon the whole, you have but little reason to complain. Every state has its deductions.

But admitting it to be otherwise, allow me to ask, Has there been no blame-worthiness attached to yourselves? Have you done every thing in your power to render yourselves and your religion approved? You know the preacher does not join in the vulgar and unjust reflections cast upon your sex; but there are temper-flaws unsightly, and there are tongueflaws intolerable. ‘Better to dwell in a corner of the house-top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house. A continual dropping in a rainy day, and a contentious woman are alike.’ Are you slatterns? Do you love disorder? Are you idle, tattlers, busy-bodies, wandering from house to house? Are you keepers at home? Do you render your dwelling attractive? Do you make it the asylum of your husband from the toils and troubles of life? Does he find it the scene of accommodation, and peace, and cheerfulness? When abroad, is he ’ stung with the thoughts of home;’ and is the most dehghtful part of his absence the moment that turns his face towards the loved place of his rest?

We know that you can — we have too often witnessed it not to know — we know that you can present religion in every interesting and engaging form; that you can, not only render domestic life graceful, but piously attractive; that you can fan into a flame an expiring devotion; that you can give excellence and energy to every good word and work; that you can teach and enforce with a persuasive ease, and a tender mildness, whose influence is rarely without some success. Have you employed these efficiencies in connexion with every other? For let me tell you, my sisters, if you have not availed yourselves of your religious means, and used them with prayer, perseveringly, and wisely, and invitingly, you have as yet no absolute cause to complain, if your relative condition be not such as you would have it.

After all, with the exception of human infirmity, we will suppose a possible case. You have nothing to reproach yourself with; and yet your ’ house is not so with God.’ Even here we have a few words of advice to offer. Be not forward to complain openly, not only because noisy grief is seldom deemed very worthy of sympathy; but also because, in your peculiar case, it is more likely to add to the evil than to remove it. Exposure not only mortifies, but commonly exasperates, and hardens; and the man, not only feeling the loss of self-respect, but the esteem of others, becomes reckless in his conduct. Beware of retaliation and reproach. Render not railing for railing, but contrariwise, blessing. Ever follow the example of the Lord Jesus, ’ who, when he suffered, threatened not, but committed himself to Him that judgeth righteously.’ Especially avoid every thing that is irritating when the mind of your husband is in a feverish and inflamed state; and when a season of speaking returns, remember, a soft answer turneth away wrath, while grievous words stir up anger. Yielding pacifieth great offences. And let me not offend while I hint, that it is not authority but influence, that belongs to your condition; and that your influence is not derived from violence and insistings, but from prepossessings, amiableness, a willingness to waive even a right, and a desire to please rather than to conquer. And says not the apostle the same? ‘Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands: that, if any obey not the word, they also may, without the word, be won by the conversation of the wives; while they behold your chaste conversation, coupled with fear: whose adorning, let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of the meek and quiet spirit, which is in the -sight of God of great price. For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands; even as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.’

Some men, it must be acknowledged, seem

Strangers to all refinement of feeling; and cannot be overcome by even the meekness of wisdom. Yet if the address of tenderness and entreaty be unhappily useless, all carriage of an opposite character will be more than useless. The being upon whom gentleness and good nature are lost, can never be amended by ill-humour and clamour. A man of sense will often, for the sake of propriety or peace, submit to be talked down by a wife talented in this species of oratory; but a man destitute of sense, will be sure to retort such treatment with double violence and insult. With the well-advised is wisdom:’ while fools are the most unpersuadable of all animals. But you should not marry fools. You may be imposed upon with regard to piety: but you cannot be mistaken with regard to sense.

But if, after all your blamelessness and commendableness, you are in the affliction we have been endeavouring to prevent, one source of relief is open: carry your distress to the mercy-seat; and spreading it before the God of all comfort, say, ‘Lord, all my desire is before Thee, and my groaning is not hid from

Thee.’ While he permits your sufferings, he loves you; he pities you; he is on your side. He is able to turn the curse into a blessing. ‘We know that all things work together for good to them that love God.’ We have seen wives who have been chosen in the furnace of affliction. They have had this valley of Achor given them for a door of hope. Their purposes being broken off, even the thoughts of their heart; and their prospects on hfe’s fairest side being clouded and gloomy; they have looked out after ’ a better country.’ They have asked, ‘Where is God my Maker, that giveth songs in the night?’ They have said, And now. Lord, what wait I for? My hope is in Thee,’