Beginning of Orphan Work, 1835-1838
Ovember 20th. This evening I took tea at a sister’s house, where I found Franke’s life. I have frequently for a long time, thought of labouring in a similar way, though it might be on a much smaller scale; not to imitate Franke, but in reliance upon the Lord. May He make it plain. November 21st. To-day I have had it very much impressed on my heart, no longer merely to think about the establishment of an Orphan-House, but actually to set about it, and I have been very much in prayer respecting it, in order to ascertain the Lord’s mind. — November 23rd. To-day I had £10 sent from Ireland for our Institution. Thus the Lord, in answer to prayer, has given me, in a few days, about £50. I had asked only for £40. This has been a great encouragement to me, and has still more stirred me up to think and pray about the establishment of an Orphan-House. — — November 25th. I have been again much in prayer yesterday and to-day about the Orphan-House, and am more and more convinced that it is of God. May He in mercy guide me!
Reasons for Desiring to Establish an Orphan-House.
It may be well to enter somewhat minutely into the reasons which led me to establish an Orphan-House. I had constantly cases brought before me, which proved that one of the special things which the children of God needed in our day, was, to have their faith strengthened. I longed to have something to point to, as a visible proof, that our God and Father is the same faithful God as ever He was; as willing as ever to prove Himself to be the Living God, in our day as formerly, to all who put their trust in Him. Sometimes I found children of God tried in mind by the prospect of old age, when they might be unable to work any longer, and therefore were harassed by the fear of having to go into the poor-house. If in such a case I pointed out to them, how their Heavenly Father has always helped those who put their trust in Him, though they might not always say that times have changed; yet it was evident enough, that God was not looked upon by them as the Livine God. My spirit was ofttimes bowed down by this, and I longed to set something before the children of God, whereby they might see, that He does not forsake, even in our day, those who rely upon Him. Also I longed to be instrumental in strength-
ening their faith, by giving them not only instances from the Word of God, of His willingness and ability to help all those who rely upon Him, but to show them by proofs, that He is the same in our day. I well knew that the Word of God ought to be enough, and it was, by grace, enough for me; but still, I considered that I ought to lend a helping hand to my brethren, if by any means, by this visible proof to the unchangeable faithfulness of the Lord I might strengthen their hands in God; for I remembered what a great blessing my own soul had received through the Lord’s dealings with His servant A. H. Franke, who, in dependance upon the Living God alone, established an immense Orphan-House, which I had seen many times with my own eyes. I, therefore, judged myself bound to be the servant of the Church of God, in the particular point on which I had obtained mercy: namely, in being able to take God at His word and to rely wpon it. All these exercises of my soul, which resulted from the fact that many believers, with whom I became acquainted, were harassed and distressed in mind, or brought guilt on their consciences, on account of not trusting in the Lord; were used by God to awaken in my heart the desire of setting before the church at large, and before the world, a proof that He has not in the least changed; and this seemed to me best done by the establishing of an Orphan-House. It needed to be something which could be seen, even by the natural eye. Now, if I, a poor man, simply by prayer and faith, obtained, without asking any individual, the means for establishing and carrying on an Orphan-House: there would be something which, with the Lord’s blessing, might be instrumental in strengthening the faith of the children of God, besides being a testimony to the consciences of the unconverted, of the reality of the things of God. This, then, was the primary reason for establishing the Orphan-House. I certainly did from my heart desire to be used by God to benefit the bodies of poor children, bereaved of both parents, and seek, in other respects, with the help of God, to do them good for this life ; — I also particularly longed to be used by God in getting the dear orphans trained up in the fear of God ; — but still the first and primary object of the work was (and still is), that God might be magnified by the fact, that the orphans under my care are provided with all they need, only by prayer and faith, without any one being asked by me or my fellow-labourers, whereby it may be seen, that God is rAIrTHFUL STILL, and HEARS PRAYER sTILL. (That I was not mistaken, has been abundantly proved since November, 1835, both by the conversion of many sinners who have read the accounts which have been published in connection with this work, and also by the abundance of fruit that has followed in the hearts of the saints, for which, from my inmost soul, I desire to be grateful to God, and the honour and glory of which not only is due to Him alone, but which I, by His help, am enabled to ascribe to Him). November 28th. I have been, every day this week, very much in prayer concerning the Orphan-House, chiefly entreating the Lord to take away every thought concerning it out of my mind, if the matter be not of Him; and have also repeatedly examined my heart concerning my motives in the matter. But I have been more and more confirmed that it is of God.
December 2nd. This morning I asked the Lord especially, that He would be pleased to teach me through the instrumentality of brother C.; and I went to him, that he might have an opportunity of probing my heart. For as I desire only the Lord’s glory, should be glad to be instructed through the instrumentality of any brother, if the matter be not of Him. But brother C., on the contrary, greatly encouraged me in it. Therefore I have this day taken the first actual step in the matter, in having ordered bills to be printed, announcing a public meeting on December 9th, at which I intend to lay before the brethren my thoughts concerning the Orphan-House, as a means of ascertaining more clearly the Lord’s mind concerning the matter. December 5th. This evening I was struck in reading the Scriptures, with these words: ‘Open thy mouth wide, and I will fill it.” (Ps. lxxxi. 10. Up to this day I had not prayed at all concerning the means or individuals needed for the Orphan-House, I was now led to apply this Scripture to the Orphan-House, I fell on my knees, and asked the Lord for premises, for £1,000, and for suitable individuals to take care of the children. December 7th. To-day I received the first shilling for the Orphan-House.
December 9th. This afternoon the first piece of furniture was given — a large wardrobe. This afternoon and evening I was low in spirit as regards the Orphan-House, but as soon as I began to speak at the meeting, I received peculiar assistance from God, felt great peace and joy, and the assurance that the work is of God. After the meeting, 10s. was given to me. There was purposely no collection, nor did any one speak besides myself; for it was not in the least intended to work upon the feelings, for I sought to be quite sure concerning the mind of God. After the meeting a sister offered herself for the work. I went home happy in the Lord, and full of confidence that the matter will come to pass, though but 10s. has been given.
The reason for proposing to enlarge the field is not because we have of late particularly abounded in means; for we have been rather straitened. The many answers which the Lord had given us concerning the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, led brother C r and me to give ourselves to prayer, asking Him to supply us with the means to carry on the work, as we consider it unscriptural to contract debts. During five days, we prayed several times, both unitedly and separately. After that time, the Lord began to answer our prayers, so that, within a few days, about £50 was given to us. I would further say, that the very gracious and tender dealings of God with me, in having supplied, in answer to prayer, for the last five years, my own temporal
wants without any certain income, so that money, provisions and clothes have been sent to me at times when I was greatly straitened, and that not only in small but large quantities; and not merely from individuals living in the same place with me, but at a considerable distance; and that not merely from intimate friends, but from individuals whom I have never seen: all this, I say, has often led me to think, even as long as four years ago, that the Lord had not given me this simple reliance on Him merely for myself, but also for others. Often, when I saw poor neglected children running about the streets at Teignmouth, I said to myself: ‘‘ May it not be the will of God, that I should establish schools for these children, asking Him to give me the means?” However, it remained only a thought in my mind for two or three years. The Lord, for I cannot but think it was He, again and again brought the thought about poor children to my mind, till at last it ended in the establishment of “The Scriptural Knowledge Institution, for Home and Abroad;” since the establishment of which, I have had it in a similar way brought to my mind, first about fourteen months ago, and repeatedly since, but specially during these last weeks, to establish an Orphan-House. My frequent prayer of late has been, that if it be of God, He would let it come to pass; if not, that He would take from me all thoughts about it. The latter has not been the case, but I have been led more and more to think that the matter may be of Him. Now, if so, He can influence His people in any part of the world (for I do not look to Bristol, nor even to England, but to the Living God, whose is the gold and the silver) to entrust me and brother C r, whom the Lord has made willing to help me in this work, with the means. Till we have them, we can do nothing in the way of renting a house, furnishing it, ete. Yet, when once as much as is needed for this has been sent us, as also proper persons to engage in the work, we do not think it needful to wait till we have the Orphan-House endowed, or a number of yearly subscribers for it; but we trust to be enabled by the Lord, who has taught us to ask for our daily bread, to look to Him for the supply of the daily wants of those children whom He may be pleased to put under our care.
Respecting the persons who are needed for carrying on the work, a matter of no less importance than the procuring of funds, I would observe, that we look for them to God Himself, as well as for the funds; and that all who may be engaged as masters, matrons, and assistants, according to the smallness or largeness of the Institution, must be known to us as true believers; and moreover, as far as we may be able to judge, must likewise be qualified for the work.
December 10th. This morning I received a letter in which a brother and sister wrote thus: “We propose ourselves for the service of the intended Orphan-House, if you think us qualified for it; also to give up all the furniture, etc., which the Lord has given us, for its use; and to do this without receiving any salary whatever; believing, that if it be the will of the Lord to employ us, He will supply all our need, etc.” In the evening a brother brought from several individuals three dishes, twenty-eight plates, three basins, one jug, four mugs, three salt stands, one grater, four knives, and five forks.
December 12. While I was praying this morning that the Lord would give us a fresh token of His favour concerning the Orphan-House, a brother brought three dishes, twelve plates, one basin, and one blanket. After this had been given, I thanked God, and asked Him to give even this day another encouragement. Shortly after, £50 was given, and that by an individual from whom, for several reasons, I could not have expected this sum. Thus the hand of God appeared so much the more clearly. Even then I was led to pray that this day the Lord would give still more. In the evening, accordingly, there were sent 29 yards of print. Also a sister offered herself for the work.
Large Donation from a poor Seamstress.
December 18th. This afternoon a brother brought from a sister, a counterpane, a flat iron stand, eight cups and saucers, a sugar basin, a milk jug, a tea cup, sixteen thimbles, five knives and forks, six dessert spoons, twelve tea spoons, four combs, and two little graters; from another friend a flat iron and a cup and saucer. At the same time he brought £100 from a sister. It has since pleased the Lord to take to Himself the donor of this £100, and I therefore give further account of the donation and the donor, as the particulars respecting both, with God’s blessing, may tend to edification. Indeed, I confess that I am delighted to be at liberty, in consequence of the death of the donor, to give the following short narrative, which, during her lifetime, I should not have considered it wise to publish. A. L., the donor, was known to me almost from the beginning of my coming to Bristol in 1832. She earned her bread by needlework, by which she gained from 2s. to 5s. per week; the average, I suppose, was not more than about 3s. 6d., as she was weak in body. But this dear, humble sister was content with her small earnings, and I do not remember ever to have heard her utter a word of complaint on account of earning so little. Some time before I had been led to establish an Orphan-House, her father had died, through which event she had come into the possession of £480, which sum had been left to her (and the same amount to her brother and two sisters) by her grandmother, but of which her father had had the interest during his lifetime. The father, who had been much given to drink, died in debt, which debts the children wished to pay; but the rest, besides A. L., did not like to pay the full amount, and offered to the creditors 5s. in the pound, which they gladly accepted, as they had not the least legal claim upon the children. After the debts had been paid according
to this agreement, A. L. said to herself, “However sinful my father may have been, yet he was my father, and as I have the means of paying his debts to the full amount, I ought, as a believing child, to do so, seeing that my brothers and sisters will not do it.” She then went to all the creditors secretly, and paid the full amount of the debts, which took £40 more of her money, besides her share which she had given before. Her brother and two sisters now gave £50 each of their property to their mother; but A. L. said to herself: “TI am a child of God, surely I ought to give my mother twice as much as my brother and sisters.” She, therefore, gave her mother £100. Shortly after this she sent me the £100 towards the Orphan-House. I was not a little surprised when I received this money from her, for I had always known her as a poor girl, and I had never heard anything about her having come into the possession of this money, and her dress had never given me the least indication of an alteration in her circumstances. Before, however, accepting this money from her, I had a long conversation with her, in which I sought to probe her as to her motives, and in which I sought to ascertain whether, as I had feared, she might have given this money in the feeling of the moment, without having counted the cost. I was the more particular, because, if the money were given, without its being given from scriptural motives, and there should be regret afterwards, the name of the Lord would be dishonoured.
But I had not conversed long with this beloved sister, before I found that she was, in this particular, a quiet, calm, considerate follower of the Lord Jesus, and one who desired, in spite of what human reason might say, to act according to the words of our Lord: “Lay not up for yourselves treasures wpon earth.” (Matthew vi. 19.) “Sell that ye have and give alms.” (Luke xii. 33.) When [I remonstrated with her, in order that I might see whether she had counted the cost, she said to me: “The Lord Jesus hag given His dast drop of blood for me, and should T not give Him this £1004” She likewise said: ‘“‘ Rather than the Orphan-House should not be established, I will give all the money I have.” When I saw that she had weighed the matter according to the Word of God, and that she had counted the cost, I could not but take the money, and admire the way which the Lord took, to use this poor, sickly sister as an instrument, in so considerable a measure, for helping, at its very commencement, this work, which I had set about solely in dependance upon the Living God.
At that time, she would also have me take £5 for the poor saints in communion with us. I mention here particularly, that this dear sister kept all these things to herself, and did them as much as possible in secret; and during her lifetime, I suppose, not six brethren and sisters among us knew that she had ever possessed £480, or that she had given £100 towards the Orphan-House. But this is not all. Some time after this £100 had been given by her, brother C- — — r (who was then labouring as a City
Missionary in connection with the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, and who about that very time happened to visit from house to house in that part of the city where A. L. lived), told me that he had met with many cases in which she had given, to one poor woman a bedstead, to another some bedding, to another some clothes, to another food; and thus instance upon instance of acts of love, on the part of our dear sister, had come before him. I relate one instance more. August 4th, 1836, seven months and a half after she had given the £100, she came one morning to me and said: “Last evening I felt myself particularly stirred up to pray about the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but whilst praying I thought, what good is it for me to pray for means, if I do not give, when I have the means, and I have therefore brought you this £5.” As I had reason to believe that by this time by far the greater part of her money was gone, I again had a good deal of conversation with her, to see whether she really did count the cost, and whether this donation also was given unto the Lord, or from momentary excitement, in which case it was better not to give the money. However, she was at this time also steadfast, grounded upon the Word of God, and evidently constrained by the love of Christ; and all the effect my conversation had upon her was, that she gaid: ‘‘ You must take five shillings in addition to the £5, as a proof that I give the £5 cheerfully.”
Four things are specially to be noticed about this beloved sister, with reference to all this period of her earthly pilgrimage: (1) She did all these things in secret, avoiding to the utmost all show about them, and thus proved that she did not desire the praise of man. (2) She remained, as before, of a humble and lowly mind, and she proved thus, that she had done what she did unto the Lord, and not unto man. (3) Her dress remained, during all the time that she had this comparative abundance, the same as before. It was clean, yet as simple and inexpensive as it was at the time when all her income had consisted of 3s. 6d., or at most 5s., per week. There was not the least difference as to her lodging, dress, manner of life, ete. She remained in every way the poor handmaid of the Lord, as to all outward appearance. (4) But that which is as lovely as the rest, she continued working at her needle all this time. She earned her 2s. 6d., or 3s., or a little more, a week, as before; whilst she gave away the money in sovereigns or five-pound notes.
At last all her money was gone, and that some years before she fell asleep; and as her bodily health never had been good, as long as I had known her, and was now much worse, she found herself peculiarly dependant upon the Lord, who never forsook her up to the last moment of her earthly course. The very commencement of her life of simple dependance upon. the Lord, was such as greatly to encourage her. She related™the facts to me as I give them here. When she was completely
without money, and when her little stock of tea and butter was also gone, two sisters in the Lord called on her. After they had been a little while with her, they told her that they had come to take tea with her. She said to herself, I should not at all mind going without my tea, but this is a great trial, that I have nothing to set before these sisters; and she gave them therefore to understand that their staying to tea would not be convenient at that time. The sisters, however, I suppose, not understanding the hint, remained, and presently brought out of a basket tea, sugar, butter and bread, and thus there was all that was requisite for the tea, and the remainder of the provisions was left with her. She told me that at that time she was not accustomed to trials of faith, as she afterwards was.
Her body became weaker and weaker, in consequence of which she was able to work very little for many months before she died; but the Lord supplied her with all she needed, though she never asked for anything. For instance, a sister in communion with us sent her for many months all the bread she used. — Her mouth was full of thanksgiving, even in the midst of the greatest bodily sufferings. She fell asleep in Jesus in January, 1844. — I have related these facts because they tend to the praise of the Lord, and may be instrumental in stirring up other children of God to follow this dear departed sister in so far as she followed the Lord Jesus; but, in particular, that I may show in what remarkable ways the Lord proved, from the very beginning, that the Orphan-House was His and not mine.
Dec. 23rd. A brother gave this evening a piece of blind line and a dozen of blind tassels. About ten in the evening, a gentleman brought me from an individual, whose name he was not to mention, £4, of which I was allowed to take £2 for the Orphan-House, and to give the other £2 to poor believers.
Dec. 31st, 1835. As regards the way in which the Lord, in His faithful love, supplied my temporal wants, during the past year, I mention that I received in all £285 1s. 14d.
January Ist. Throvgh a sister was given 6s., being six different donations; also from herself £1 as a donation, besides 1s. as a monthly subscription. Also ablady sent through her £1 Is. as a yearly subscription. Jan. 2nd. A sister sent £5. Jan. 5th. The sums of 10s., and 12s. 9d., and £2 were given. This evening some one rang our house bell. When the door was opened, no one was there, but a kitchen fender and a dish were found at the door, no doubt given for the Orphan-House.
Jan. 8th. These was given £2. A sister offered herself for the work. Jan. 9th. From E. G., £1 5s., and from a brother 6d. Jan. 10th. The sum of 2s. 6d. was given. In the paper was written, “Two widows’ mites for the Orphan-school. In the name of the Lord establish it.”
See DRE gE ett
All this money, and all these articles have been given, and all these above-mentioned offers have been made, without my asking any individual for anything; moreover, almost all has been sent from individuals concerning whom I had naturally no reason to expect anything, and some of whom I never saw. Upon the ground of these facts, therefore, T am clearly persuaded that it is the will of the Lord that I should proceed in the work.
Out-going of Missionaries.
March 1st. This afternoon brother and sister Groves, and the brethren and sisters going with them for missionary purposes, twelve in number, left us for the East Indies. [To-day sons and grand-daughters of two of these brethren are labouring in the Godavari District- — that part of India to which these twelve went — much blessing having all along been granted to them.] In consequence of the journey to the Continent, at the commencement of last year, four brethren and two sisters have gone out, two brethren in October last, and two brethren and two sisters to-day. This evening we had again a prayer meeting for the dear missionary party. May the Lord soon give us the privilege of seeing some one of our own number go forth.
May yd. I have now been for many days praying for the supply of our own temporal wants, and for the funds of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution; but, as yet, I have had not only no answers to my prayer, but our income has been less than usual, and we have had also but very little coming in for the funds of the Institution. We have not been able to put by our taxes, and expect them daily to be called for. My clothes also are now worse than any I ever wore, and I have also but one suit.
May 6th. I have now been for some years, and specially these last few months, more or less thinking and praying respeeting publishing a short account of the Lord’s dealings with me. ‘To-day I have at last settled to do so, and have begun to write.
May 16th. For these several weeks our income has been little; and though I had prayed many times that the Lord would enable us to put by the taxes, yet the prayer remained unanswered. In the midst of it all, my comfort was that the Lord would send help by the time it would be needed. One thing particularly has been a trial to us of late, far more than our own temporal circumstances, which is, that we have scarcely in any measure been able to relieve the distress among the poor saints. To-day, the Lord at last, after I had many times prayed to Him for these weeks past, answered my prayers, there being £7 12s. Ojd. given to me as my part of the free-will offerings through the boxes. Thus the Lord has again delivered us, and answered our prayers, and that not one single hour too late; for the taxes have not as yet been called for.
Tue First Wrinson Srreer OrpHan Housks
from Dvr. Pierson’s “George Muller, of Bristol.” [acing page &9
Opening of the First Wilson Street Orphan-House.
May 18th. So far as I remember, I brought even the most minute circumstances concerning the Orphan-House before the Lord in my petitions, being conscious of my own weakness and ignorance. There was, however, one point I never had prayed about, namely, that the Lord would send children; for I naturally took it for granted that there would be plenty of applications.
The nearer, however, the day came, which had been appointed for receiving applications, the more I had secret consciousness that the Lord might disappoint my natural expectations, and show me that I could not prosper in one single thing without Him. The appointed time came, and not even one application was made. I had before this been repeatedly tried, whether I might not, after all, against the Lord’s mind, have engaged in the work. This circumstance now led me to lie low before my God in prayer the whole of the evening, February 5rd, and to examine my heart once more as to all the motives concerning it; and being able, as formerly, to say, that His glory was my chief aim, 7.¢., that it might be seen that it is not a vain thing to trust in the Living God, — and that my second aim was the spiritual welfare of orphan children, — and the third their bodily welfare; and still continuing in prayer, I was at last brought to this state, that I could say from my heart, that I should rejoice in God being glorified in this matter, though it were by bringing the whole to nothing. But as still, after all, it seemed to me more tending to the glory of God, to establish and prosper the Orphan-House, I could then ask Him heartily to send applications. I enjoyed now a peaceful state of heart concerning the subject, and was also more assured than ever that God would establish it. The very next day, February 4th, the first application was made, and since then 42 more have been made.
T rented, at least for one year, the house. No. 6, Wilson Street, as being, on account of its cheapness and largeness, very suitable, and in which, up to March 25th, I had been living myself. Having furnished it for 30 children, we began on April Ith, 1836, to take them in, and on April 21st the Institution was opened by a day being set apart for prayer and “thanksgiving.” There are now 26 children in the house, and a few more are expected daily.
We intend to take in children from seven to twelve years old.
Decision to Open a House for Infants.
After six applications had been made for children between four and six years of age, it became a subject of solemn and prayerful consideration, whether, as long as there were vacancies, such children should not be received, though so young. Partly then, on account of these reasons; and partly, because the Institution already opened will be quite filled in a few days, and applications continue to be made; and partly, because the Lord has hitherto done far above what I could have expected: I have at last, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion, in the name of the Lord, and in dependance upon Him alone for support, to propose the establishment of an Infant Orphan-House. It is intended to open this Institution, as soon as suitable premises and individuals, to take care of the children, etc., have been obtained.
(a) It is imtended to receive into this Infant Orphan-House destitute male and female infants bereaved of both parents, from their earliest days up to the seventh year, and to provide them with food, clothing, needful attendance, and scriptural education.
(6) It is intended to let the female children stay up to the seventh year in the Infant Orphan-House, and then to remove them to the Institution already opened, till they are able to go to service.
(c) It is also intended, as far as the Lord may help, to provide for the boys, when they are above seven years, though we cannot at present say in what manner.
June yd. From May 16th up to this day I have been confined to the house, and a part of the time to my bed, on account of local inflammation, which keeps me from walking. Almost every day during this time I have been able to continue writing a Narrative of the Lord’s dealings with me, which had been again laid aside after May 7th, on account of a number of pressing engagements. It is very remarkable, that the greatest objection against writing it for the press was want of time. Now through this affliction, which leaves my mind free, and gives me time, on account of confinement to the house, I have been able to write about 100 quarto pages. May the Lord in mercy teach me about this matter!
June 11th. I am, by the mercy of God, still getting better, but, as yet, unable to walk about. All this week I have been again enabled to go on writing for the press. June 12th. To-day the Lord very kindly allowed me to preach again, and that most undeservedly, and much sooner than I could ‘have expected.
June 18th. We have had, for many weeks past, generally little money for our personal expenses, which has been a trial to us, not on our own account, but because we have thus been able to do but very little for the poor brethren. To-day, Saturday, we have 3s. left, just enough to pay for a fly to take me to, and bring me back from Bethesda to-morrow, as I am unable to walk. This money we should not have had, but for our baker, a brother, who refused to-day to take money for the usual quantity of bread, which we daily take.
June 21st. This evening brother C — — + and I found, that the Lord has not only been pleased to send us, through the offerings which have come in during the last week, in answer to our prayers, the £17 10s. which will be due for the rent of two school-
rooms on July 1st, but that we have £5 more than is needed. Thus the Lord once more has answered our prayers.
July 28th. For some weeks past we have not been able to pay the salary of the masters and governesses a month in advance, but have been obliged to pay it weekly. Brother C — — r and I have lately prayed repeatedly together respecting the funds, but we were now brought so low, that we should not have been able to pay even this weekly salary of the teachers had not the Lord most remarkably helped us again to-day. For besides £1 which was given to us this evening, a brother gave £8, which sum had been made up by a number of his workmen paying weekly one penny each, of their own accord, towards our funds. The money had been collecting for many months, and, in this our necessity, it had been put into the heart of this brother to bring it. My faith has been greatly strengthened through this circumstance. For, before to-day, though I have never been in the least allowed to ‘doubt the Lord’s faithfulness, I did not understand His purpose in His dealings with us of late, in not sending us more than we have needed just to be kept from stopping; and I have sometimes thought, whether it might not be His will, on account of my want of faithfulness in His work, to decrease the field; but now I see, that notwithstanding my unworthiness, His allowing us to pray so frequently was only that the deliverance might be felt so much the more when it came.
October Ist. Last Saturday, for the first time, we were so low in funds, that we needed £1 more than we had, to pay the salaries a week in advance; but one sister, on account of the death of her father, as we afterwards learned, was kept from calling for her money, and on the next day we received more than was needed to pay her. On account, therefore, of the many deliverances which we have had of late, we have not hesitated to enlarge the field, as another boys’ school was greatly needed, there having been many applications for admission standing these several months past.
October 5th. This evening £25 was given to me for the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus the Lord has already given the means of defraying the expenses of the new Boys’ School for some months to come.
Opening of the Second Wilson Street Orphan-House.
October 19th. To-day, after having many times prayed respecting this matter, I have at last engaged a sister as matron for the Infant Orphan-House, never having been able, up to this day, to meet with an individual who seemed suitable, though there has been money enough in hand for some time past for commencing this work, and there have been also applications for the reception of several infant: or phans.
October 25th. To-day we obtained, without any trouble, through the kind hand of God, very suitable premises for the Infant Orphan-House. If we had laid out many hundred pounds in building a house, we could scarcely have built one more suitable for the purpose. How evident is the hand of God in all these matters! How important to leave our concerns, great and small, with Him; for He arranges all things well! If our work be His work, we shall prosper in it.
November 30th. On account, as I suppose, of many pressing engagements, I had not been led for some time past to pray respecting the funds. But being in great need, I was led yesterday morning, earnestly to ask the Lord, and in answer to this petition a brother gave me last evening £10. He had had it in his heart for several months past to give this sum, but had been hitherto kept from it, not having the means. Just now, in this our great necessity, the Lord furnished him with the means, and we were helped in this way. In addition to this £10, I received last evening a letter with £5, from a sister whom I never saw, and who has been several times used by God as an instrument to supply our wants. She writes thus: “It has been so much on my mind lately to send you some money, that I feel as if there must be some need, which the Lord purposes to honour me by making me the instrument of supplying. I therefore enclose you £5, all I have in the house at this moment; but if you have occasion for it, and will let me know, I will send you as much more.” Besides these two donations, I received to-day £3 3s,
December 15th. This day was set apart for prayer and thanksgiving respecting the Infant Orphan-House, which was opened on November 28th. In the morning we had a prayer-meeting. In the afternoon, besides prayer and thanksgiving, I addressed the children of our day-schools and the orphans, about 350, on Keclesiastes xii. 1. In the evening I gave a further account of the Orphan-Houses, commencing from the time when the last printed account had been issued, dated May 18th, 1836. The substance of this account was printed.
December 3lst. There are at present in fellowship with us at Gideon 181, and at Bethesda 168 — altogether 349.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, as regards my temporal supplies, £232 11s. 9d.
April 22nd. The Lord has mercifully stayed the typhus fever in the Orphan-House, in answer to prayer. There were only two cases, and the children are recovering.
May 28th. The Narrative of some of the Lord’s dealings with me is now near being published; this has led me again most earnestly this day week, and repeatedly since, to ask the Lord that He would be pleased to give me what is wanting of the £1,000, for which sum I have asked Him on behalf of the
orphans; for though, in my own mind, the thing is as good as done, so much so, that I have repeatedly been able to thank God, that He will surely give me every shilling of that sum, yet to others this would not be enough. As the whole matter, then, about the Orphan-House had been commenced for the glory of God, that in this way before the world and the Church there might be another visible proof that the Lord delights in answering prayer; and as there was yet a part of the £1,000 wanting; and as I earnestly desired the book might not leave the press, before every shilling of that sum had been given, in answer to prayer, without one single individual having been asked by me for anything, that thus I might have the sweet privilege of bearing my testimony for God in this book: for these reasons, I say, I have given myself earnestly to prayer about this matter since May 21st. On May 22nd came in £7 10s., and on May 23rd, £3. On May 24th a lady, whom I never saw before, called on me and gave me £40. This circumstance has greatly encouraged me; for the Lord showed me thereby afresh His willingness to continue to send us large sums, and that they can come even from individuals whom we have never seen before.
June 15th. To-day I gave myself once more earnestly to prayer respecting the remainder of the £1,000. This evening £5 was given, so that now the whole sum is made up. To the glory of the Lord, whose I am, and whom I serve, I would state again, that every shilling of this money, and all the articles of clothing and furniture, which have been mentioned in the foregoing pages, have been given to me without one single individual having been asked by me for anything. As the Lord has condescended most fully, and even above my expectations, to answer my prayers, and to fill my mouth (Psalm lxxxi. 10), will you help me, brethren and sisters beloved in the Lord, to praise Him for His condescension. It isa wonderful thing that such a worthless, faithless servant as I am, should have power with God. Take courage from this for yourselves, brethren. Surely, if such a one as I am, so little conformed to the mind of Jesus, has his prayers answered, may not you also, at last, have your requests granted to you. During eighteen months and ten days this petition has been brought before God almost daily. From the moment I asked it till the Lord granted it fully, I had never been allowed to doubt that He would give every shilling of that sum. Often have I praised Him betorehand in the assurance that He would grant my request. The thing after which we have especially to seek in prayer is, that we believe that we receive, according to Mark xi. 24. “What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, belreve that ye recewe them, and ye shall have them.” But this I often find lacking in my prayers. When, however, I have been enabled to believe that I receive, the Lord has dealt with me according to my faith. This moment while I am writing (June 28th, 1837), T am waiting on the Lord for £17 10s., the rent for two schoolrooms, which will be due in three days, and I have but £3 towards that sum. I believe God can give; I believe God is willing to give it, if it be for our real welfare; I also have repeatedly asked God for it; but as yet I cannot in the triumph of faith praise Him belforehand, that He will assuredly give me this small sum. I am waiting at every delivery of letters, at every ring at the bell, for help; I am truly waiting on God, and God alone for it; but as yet I do not feel as sure of being able to pay the rent of those schoolrooms as I should, if I had the money already in my pocket.
Decision to Open a Third Orphan-House.
As the Lord has so greatly condescended to listen to my prayers, and as I consider it one of the particular talents which He has entrusted to me, to exercise faith upon His promises regarding my own temporal wants and those of others; and as an Orphan-House for boys above seven years of age seems greatly needed in this city; and as also, without it, we know not how to provide for the little boys in the Infant Orphan-House when they are above seven years of age; I purpose to establish an Orphan-House for about forty boys above seven years of age. But there are three difficulties in the way which must first be removed before I could take any further step in this work. (1) My hands are more than filled already with work. I could not in any degree enlarge the field of labour, except the Lord should be pleased to send us a brother, who, as steward, could take from me the work which arises from keeping the accounts, obtaining and circulating the Scriptures, giving advice in ordinary matters respecting the Orphan-Houses, attending to the applcations for admission of children in the Orphan-Houses, etc. But whether there is an Orphan-House for boys established or not, such a brother is greatly needed, even as the extent of the work is now, and I therefore lay it on the hearts of the believers who may read this, to help me with their prayers, that such a brother may be found. (2) In addition to this, it would be needful, before I could take any further, step, to obtain a truly pious master for the boys, and other suitable individuals who may be needed to take care of the children. (3) The third thing by which I desire to be assured, that it is the will of God that I should go forward in the Orphan-House, is, that He provide the means for such an enlargement of the work. — Whilst, on the one hand, I would confess to the praise of God, that he has been pleased to give me faith to trust in Him; yet, on the other hand, I desire to be kept from presumption and enthusiasm. I do not intend to wait till thousands are raised, or till the Institution is endowed; but I must have such a sum given to me as is needed to furnish a house for forty boys, and to clothe that number, and to have a little to begin with; without such a sum I should not consider it to be the will of God to enlarge the field.
July Ist. It has pleased the Lord to continue to»bless the word preached by us to the conversion of many sinners, and there seems to have been no period during ‘these five years, in which this work has been stopped. There have come again several cases before us lately, in which individuals have been recently brought to apprehend their lost state by nature, and to see that Jesus of Nazareth alone can save them. The whole number of those who have been converted through our instrumentality in Bristol, and who have been received into fellowship with us, is 178.
August 15th. To-day the first 500 copies of the first part of my Narrative arrived, and I had, once more, some conflict of mind whether, after all, I had not been mistaken in this matter. A sort of trembling came over me, and a wish to be able to retrace the step. Judging, however, from the most searching self-examination, through which I had caused my heart to pass again and again, as to my motives, before I began writing, and whilst [ was writing; and judging, moreover, from the earnestness in prayer with which I had sought to ascertain the mind of God in the matter, and from the subsequent full assurance which I had had of its being according to His will, that in this way I should serve the Church ; — I was almost immediately led to consider this uncomfortable and trying feeling as a temptation, and I therefore went to the box, opened it, brought out some copies, and soon alter gave away one, so that the step could not be retraced.
This was the last temptation or struggle I have had of that kind, for I have never since, even for one minute, been allowed to regret publishing the Narrative.
First Legacy received.
September 15th. This morning we received a parcel with clothes and some money for the Orphans from a sister at a distance. Among the donations in money was a little legacy, amounting to 6s. 64d., from a dear boy who died in the faith. This dear child had had given to him, in his last illness, some coins, amounting to the above-mentioned little sum. Shortly before he fell asleep, he requested that this his little treasure might be sent to the Orphans. This precious little legacy is the first we have had.
September 19th. Two things were to-day particularly impressed upon my heart, and may the Lord deepen the impression. (1) That I ought to seek for more retirement, though the work should apparently suffer ever so much. (2) That arrangements should be made, whereby I may be able to visit the brethren more, as an wnvisited church will sooner or later become an unhealthy church.
September 28th. I have for a long time been too much outwardly engaged. Yesterday morning I spent about three hours in the vestry of Gideon, to be able to have more time for retirement. I meant to do the same in the afternoon, but before I could leave the house I was called on, and thus one person after the other came, till I had to go out. Thus it has been again to-day.
Opening of the Third Wilson Street Orphan-House.
October 21st. A few weeks since I had rented a very large and a very cheap house for the Boys’ Orphan-House; but as the persons who lived in that neighbourhood threatened the landlord with an action, on account of letting his house for a charitable institution, I at once gave up all claim. That which led me to do so, was the word of the Lord: “As much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” I was quite sure, when I gave up the agreement, that the Lord would provide other premises. On the same morning when this took place, October 5th, the Lord, to show His continued approbation of the work, sent £50 by a sister, who is far from being rich, for the furnishing of the Boys’ Orphan-House. Now to-day, the Lord has given me another house for the Orphan Boys in the same street in which the other two Orphan-Houses are. Thus, in His own time He has sent help in this particular also. Indeed in everything in which I have had to deal with Him alone in this work, I have never been disappointed.
November Ist. Our Bible, School, and Missionary funds having been for some time very low, I had been led repeatedly to ask the Lord for a rich supply, and mentioned several times, though with submission to His will, the sum of £100 before Him. However, He seemed not to regard the prayer respecting the £100, but gave to us by little and little what was needed. Yesterday I received a donation of £80, and to-day one of £20, and thus He has kindly given the £100. By this means we are able to increase our stock of Bibles, which has been much reduced of late.
November 7th. My head is so weak, that I see it absolutely needful to give up the work for some time. After I had come this morning to the conclusion to leave Bristol for a while for the purpose of quietness, I received an anonymous letter from Ireland with £5 for my own personal expenses, and thus the Lord has kindly supplied me with the means for doing so. — I can work no longer, my head being in such a weak state from continual exertion, so that I feel now comfortable in going, though scarcely any time could have been, humanly speaking, more unsuitable. The Orphan-House for the Boys is on the point of being opened, the labourers therefore are to be introduced into the work ; — most important church matters have been entered upon and are yet unsettled ; — but the Lord knows better, and cares for His work more than I do or can. Therefore I desire to leave the matter with Him.
November 16th. To-day I went to Weston-super-Mare, to take lodgings for myself and family. A sister sent me this morning £5, by which the Lord has provided me with the means for removing my family.
November 17th. Weston-super-Mare. This evening my wife and child and our servant arrived here. Yesterday a sister secretly put two sovereigns in my wife’s pocket-book. How kind is the Lord in thus providing us with means according to our need! How kind also in having just now sent brother T. to take the work arising from the Schools, Orphan-Houses, etc., just as brother C — — r was sent two years ago, shortly before I was completely laid aside!
November 25th. We returned to Bristol.
November 30th. Iam not any better. I have written to my father; perhaps for the last time. All is well, all will be well, all cannot but be well; because I am in Christ. How precious that now, in this my sickness, I have not to seek after the Lord, but have already found Him.
December 17th. Lord’s-day. This morning I saw the 32 Orphan girls, who are above seven years old, pass under my window, to go to the chapel. When I saw these dear children in their clean dresses, and their comfortable warm cloaks, and when I saw them walking orderly under the care of a sister to the chapel, I felt grateful to God that I had been made the instrument of providing for them, seeing that they are all better off, both as regards temporal and spiritual things, than if they were at the places from whence they were taken. I felt that, to bring about such a sight, was worth the labour not only of many days, but of many months, or years. I felt that it answered all the arguments of some of my friends who say ‘‘ you do too much.”
December 24th. This is the seventh Lord’s-day that I have been laid aside. — This day I determine, by the help of God, no more to send letters in parcels, because I now clearly see that it is against the laws of the country, and it becomes me, as a disciple of Jesus, in every respect to submit myself to the Government, in so far as I am not called upon to do anything contrary to the Word of God.
December 31st. There are now 81 children in the three Orphan-Houses, and nine brethren and sisters who have the care of them. Ninety, therefore, daily sit down to table. Lord, look on the necessities of Thy servant!
The Schools require as much help as before; nay, more, particularly the Sunday School, in which there are at present’ about 320 children, and in the Day Schools about 350. — Lord, Thy servant is a poor man; but he has trusted in Thee, and made his boast in Thee before the sons of men; therefore let him not be confounded! Let it not be said, all this is enthusiasm, and therefore it will come to nought.
This year my temporal supplies have been, in all, £307 2s. 63d.
January 6th. I feel very little better in my head, though my general health seems improved; but my kind physician says I am much better, and advises now change of air. This evening, a sister who resides about fifty miles from hence, and who is therefore quite unacquainted with the medical advice given to me this morning, sent me £15 for the express purpose of change of air. How wonderfully does God work! I have thus the means of carrying into effect my physician’s advice. — To-day I heard of a most remarkable case of conversion through the instrumentality of my Narrative.
January 10th. To-day I went with my family to Trowbridge.
January 12th. Trowbridge. This evening I commenced
reading Whitefield’s life, written by Mr. Philip.
January 13th. I have already received blessings through Whitefield’s life. His great success in preaching the Gospel is evidently to be ascribed, instrumentally, to his great prayerfulness, and his reading the Bible on his knees. I have known the importance of this for years; I have practised it a little, but far too little. I have had more communion with God to-day, than I have had, at least generally, for some time past.
January 14th. Lord’s-day. I have continued reading Whitefield’s life. God has again blessed it to my soul. I have spent several hours in prayer to-day, and read on my knees, and prayed for two hours over Psalm lxiii. God has blessed my soul much to-day. My soul is now brought into that state, that I delight myself in the will of God, as regards my health. Yea, T can now say, jrom my heart, 1 would not have this disease removed till God, through it, has bestowed the blessing for which it was sent. He has drawn out my soul much yesterday and to-day. Lord, continue thy goodness, and fill me with love! I long more fully to glorify God; not so much by outward activity, as by inward conformity to the image of Jesus. What hinders God, to make of one, so vile as I am, another Whitefield? Surely God could bestow as much grace upon me, as He did upon him.
January 15th. I have had since yesterday afternoon less suffering in my head than for the last eight days, though it is even now far from being well. I have still an inward assurance, on account of the spiritual blessings which the Lord has granted to me, that through this affliction He is only purifying me for His blessed service, and that I shall be soon restored to the work.
January 16th. Tuesday. A blessed day. How very good is the Lord! Fervency of spirit, through His grace, is continued to me. The subject of my meditation has been Psalm xvi. Verses 10, 11, and 12, are particularly applicable to my present circumstances. God has already, through the instrumentality of this my affliction, brought me into a “wealthy place,’ and I believe He will bless my soul yet more and more. What has God done
for me, in comparing this 16th of January, 1838, with the 16th of January, 1820, the day on which my dear mother died. — I have also resolved this day, if the Lord should restore me again, to have a special meeting at the chapel once a week, or once a fortnight, with the Orphan and Day-School children, for the purpose of reading the Scriptures with them — My heart has been drawn out in prayer for many things, especially that the Lord would create in me a holy earnestness to win souls, and a greater compassion for ruined sinners. For this I have been quickened through reading Whitefield’s life.
January 17th. The Lord is yet merciful to me. I enjoy fervency of spirit. My soul has been again repeatedly led out in prayer this day, and that for a considerable time. — I have read on my knees, with prayer and meditation, Psalm lxviii. — Verse 5: “A Father of the fatherless,” one of the titles of Jehovah, has been a special blessing to me, with reference to the Orphans. The truth, which is contained in this, I never realized so much as to-day. By the help of God, this shall be my argument before Him, respecting the Orphans, in the hour of need. He is their Father, and therefore has pledged Himself, as it were, to provide for them, and to care for them; and I have only to remind Him of the need of these poor children, in order to have it supplied. My soul is still more enlarged respecting Orphans. This word, “a Father of the fatherless,” contains enough encouragement to cast thousands of Orphans upon the loving heart of God.
February 11th. This morning I was directed to read Proverbs iii, 5-12, having just a few minutes to fill up before breakfast. I was particularly struck with those words: “Neither be wnary of His correction.” I have not been allowed to despise the chastening of the Lord, but I begin, now and then, to feel somewhat weary of His correction, O Lord, have mercy upon Thy poor unworthy servant! Thou knowest, that, after the inner man, I desire patiently to bear this affliction, and not to have it removed till it has done its work in me, and yielded the peaceable fruits of righteousness. But Thou knowest also what a trial it is to me to continue the life I am now living. Help, Lord! according to my need!
March 11th. I have read during the last weeks, once more, with as much or more interest than ever, I. and II. of Samuel, and I. and II. of Kings — I have now, after repeated prayer, come to the conclusion to accompany brother to Germany, that thus: (1) I might aid him by my advice in reference to the object of his journey; (2) that thus, if the Lord will, through the journey and the benefit of my native air, my health might be benefited; and (3) that I might once more have an opportunity of setting the truth before my father and brother.
March 12th. I feel quite comfortable in the prospect of going to Germany. I trust it will prove to be as much of God, as it was shown to have been the last time.
Visit to Germany.
April yd. I left for London, on my way to Germany. I was led to read this morning, Psalm cxxi. with my dear wife, before we separated; we both felt it to be very appropriate to our circumstances.
April 6th. ‘This evening I went on board the steamer for Hamburg.
April 7th. All the day ill from sea-sickness.
April 8th. Lord’s-day. I was able to get up this morning, and to take my meals. — Last night I was led to praise God for having made me His child, considering that I was most likely the only one on board that knew Him. This morning, however, T found a sister in the Lord among the passengers, with whom I had much conversation — At dinner she manifested more grace in testifying against evil, than I did. At tea-time I had grace, in some measure, to speak of Jesus before the company, and to confess Him as my Lord.
April 9th. We arrived at Hamburg about one in the morning, having had a most favourable passage of about 48 hours, and at seven I went on shore.
April 14th. Berlin. We arrived here the evening before last.
April 15-21st. We met several times during this week with certain brethren who desire to give themselves to missionary service, and prayed and read the Scriptures with them. — Since my arrival here I have had two letters from my dear wife. Harriet Culliford, one of the Orphans, and formerly one of the most unpromising children, has been removed. She died as a true believer, several of the brethren who saw her being quite satisfied about her state. Surely this pays for much trouble and for much expense! My wife also mentions some fresh instances of the Lord’s blessing resting upon my Narrative — I am now, after prayer, this day, April 21st, quite sure that T should leave Berlin, and go to my father at once, as the work here is too much for my head.
April 22nd. Confirmation day of the children in Berlin. The son of the person with whom we lodge was confirmed, and in the evening they had the violin and dancing. How awful! A few days since I heard that a brother in the Lord, an old friend of mine, was in prison on account of his religious views. This brought afresh before me the privileges which the children of God enjoy in England.
April 24th. Left Berlin last evening for Magdeburg. Had a long conversation with two deists in the mail. God helped me to make a full confession of His dear Son, in answer to prayer for grace to be enabled to do so. This afternoon I arrived at Heimersleben, the small town where my father lives. Once more then I have met with my dear aged parent, whois evidently fast hastening to the grave, and seems to me not likely to live
through the next winter. How great, how exceedingly great, the difference in me, as to my feelings respecting such things now, from what they were formerly.
April 25-28th. Stay at Heimersleben. The Lord has given me both an opportunity and grace to speak more fully, more simply, and more to the heart of my father about the things of God, and in particular about the plan of salvation, than I had ever done before. I trust that, in judgment at least, he is convinced that there is something lacking in him. All the time of my stay here he has been most affectionate. I spoke also fully again to my poor brother, who is now completely living in open sin. Oh to grace what a debtor am I! Brother Knabe, who was the only believer in Heimersleben, as far as I have been able to learn, died about eighteen months since.
April 28th. To-day I left for Magdeburg. My father accompanied me about eight miles. Both of us, I think, felt, when about to separate, that we were parting from each other, never again to meet on earth.* How would it have cheered the separation on both sides, were my dear father a believer! But it made my heart indeed sad to see him, in all human probability for the last time, without having scriptural ground for hope respecting his soul. — I arrived in the afternoon at Magdeburg, and went to a brother, a musician in one of the regiments of that fortress, who is on the point of leaving the army to go to the Hast Indies as a missionary. In his lodgings I saw another brother, a private soldier, who lives in the barracks, who told me, on my enquiring, that he goes into the sand cellar, which is perfectly dark, in order to obtain opportunity for secret prayer. How great the privileges of those who may freely have both time and place for retirement; but how great, at the same time, our obligation to improve these opportunities ! — This evening at eight I went on board an Elbe steamer for Hamburg.
April 30th. This morning at seven I arrived at Hamburg.
May 4th. London. Left Hamburg on the 2nd. Had a fine passage. I have, by the mercy of God, been kept from light and trifling conversation; but I have not confessed the Lord Jesus as plainly as I ought to have done.
May 7th. Returned to Bristol. I had grace to confess the Lord Jesus the last part of the way before several merry passengers, and had the honour of being ridiculed for His sake. There are few things in which I feel more entirely dependant upon the Lord, than in confessing Him on such occasions. J found my dear family in peace.
May 8th. This evening I went to the prayer meeting at Gideon. I was able to thank the Lord publicly for my late affliction. This is the first time that I have taken any part in the public meetings of the brethren, since November 6th, 1837.
[* Mr. Muller visited his father once after this, see p. 132],
June 11th. A stranger called on me, and told me that, many years ago, he had defrauded two gentlemen of a small sum, and that he wished to restore the same with interest. He also stated that he had read my Narrative, and, feeling confidence in me, he requested me to convey this money to those gentlemen, giving me at the same time, their names and place of abode. He intrusted me with four sovereigns for each of them. At the same time he gave me one sovereign for myself, as a token of Christian love. I never saw the individual before, nor do I up to this moment know his name. I conveyed this money, however, not by post, as he wished, but through two bank orders, in order that thus I might be able to show, should it be needful, that I actually did send the money; for in all such matters it becomes one to act with particular caution. — It may be that this fact will be read by some who have, like this stranger, before their conversion, defrauded certain individuals. If so, let them, like him, or like Zaccheus of old, restore what they took, and, if they have the means, with interest, or compound interest.