Severe Trials in Early Orphan Work, 1838-1843
July 12th, 18388-Dec. Ith, 1838.
July 12th. From the commencement of the establishment of the Orphan-Houses, up to the end of June, 1838, the hand of the Lord was seen in the abundance with which He was pleased to supply me with the means for maintaining nearly 100 persons. Now, however, the time is come, when “the Father of the fatherless ’ will show His special care over them in another way. — The funds, which were this day twelvemonth about £780, are now reduced to about £20; but, thanks be to the Lord, my faith is as strong, or stronger, than it was when we had the larger sum in hand; nor has He, at any time from the commencement of the work, allowed me to distrust Him. Nevertheless, as our Lord will be enquired of, and as real faith is manifested as such by leading to prayer, I gave myself to prayer, with brother T — — of the Boys’ Orphan-House, who had called on me, and who, except my wile and brother Craik, is the only individual to whom I speak about the state of the funds. While we were praying, an orphan child from Frome was brought, and some believersat Frome, having collected among them £5, sent this money with the child. Thus we received the first answer at atimeolf need. We havegwen notice for seven children to come in, and purpose to give notice for five more, though our funds are so low, hoping that God will look on our necessities. (Observe how gently the Lord dealt with us, in that when want approached, He helped at once, in immediate answer to prayer, in order thus to increase our confidence in Him; but, at the same time, to prepare us for sharper trials of our faith).
July 22nd. This evening I was walking in our little garden, meditating on Heb. xiii. 8, “Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to-day, and for ever.” Whilst meditating on His unchangeable love, power, wisdom, etc., I was led to say to myself, Jesus in His love and power has hitherto supplied me with what I have needed for the Orphans, and in the same unchangeable love and power He will provide me with what I may need for the future. A flow of joy came into my soul whilst realising thus the unchangeableness of our adorable Lord. About one minute alter, a letter was brought me, enclosing at bill for £20. In it was written ‘* Will you apply the amount of the enclosed bill to the furtherance of the objects of your Scriptural Knowledge Society, or of your Orphan Establishment, or in the work and cause of our
Master in any way that He Himself, on your application to Him, may point out to you. It is not a great sum, but it is a sufficient provision for the exigency of to-day; and it is for to-day’s exigencies that, ordinarily, the Lord provides. To-morrow, as it brings its demands, will find its supply, etc.”
On July 26th there sailed from Liv erpool for the East Indies, for Missionary service, twelve German brethren and three sisters, as the result of the journey of brother and myself to the Continent, in April last.
Aug. 6th. During this week I shall have to pay again at least £35 for the Orphans, and have but about £19 towards it. My eyes are up to the “Father of the fatherless.” I believe He will help, though I know not how.
Aug. 7th. How graciously has the Lord again appeared, and that in so short a time! How has He sent help, from altogether unexpected quarters! I have been praying yesterday and to-day earnestly, beseeching the Lord now to appear, and show His power, that the enemies might not say, “‘ Where is now thy God?” Ivxeminded Him especially, that I had commenced the work that it might be seen that He, even in our day, is willing to answer prayer, and that the provision for our Orphans might be a visible proof to all around us of this truth. And now observe! Last evening brother Craik told me that £10 had been given him for the work in our hands; £5 for the Orphans, and £5 for the School, Bible, and Missionary fund. To-day, having to pay £25, and not having quite enough, when I went to brother T for the money which he might have received, as I knew that 25s. had been given to him, I took with me the keys of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in a little. I opened the box in the Boys’ Orphan-House, and found £1 7s. 54d. Immediately after I received from brother “me £13 19s. 10d., the greater part of which, as he told me, had come in within the last few days. Thus our adorable Lord has once more delivered; for I have now even more than enough to meet the current expenses of this week.
Aug. 18th. I have not one penny in hand for the Orphans. In a day or two again many pounds will be needed. My eyes are up to the Lord. Evening. I have received from a sister £5. She had some time since put away her trinkets, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. This morning, whilst in prayer, it came to her mind, I have this £5, and owe no man anything, therefore it would be better to give this money at once, as it may be some time before I can dispose of the trinkets. She therefore brought it, little knowing that there was not a penny in hand, and that I had been able to advance only £4 15s. 5d. for housekeeping in the Boys’-Orphan-House, instead of the usual £10; little knowing also, that within a few days many pounds more will be needed. May my soul be greatly encouraged by this fresh token of my gracious Lord’ s faithfulness!
Aug. 20th. The £5 which I had received on the 18th, had been given for house-keeping, so that to-day I was again penniless. But my eyes were up to the Lord. I gave myself to prayer this morning, knowing that I should want again this week at least £13, if not above £20. To-day I received £12 in answer to prayer, from a lady who is staying at Clifton, whom I had never seen before. Adorable Lord, grant that this may be a fresh encouragement to me!
Aug. 29th. To-day sixteen believers were baptized. Of all the baptisms which we have had, this was, perhaps, the most remarkable. Among those who were baptized was an aged brother of above 84 years, and one above 70. For the latter his believing wife had prayed 38 years, and at last the Lord answered her prayers in his conversion.
Aug. 31st. I have been waiting on the Lord for means, as the matron’s books from the Girls’ Orphan-House have been brought, and there is no money in hand to advance for housekeeping. But as yet the Lord has not been pleased to send help. As the matron called to-day for money, one of the labourers ee £2 of his own for the present necessities. all
Sept. Ist. The Lord in His wisdom and love has not yet sent help. Whence it is to come, need not be my care. But I believe God will, in due time, send help. His hour is not yet come. As there was money needed in the Boys’ Orphan-House also, ‘the same brother, just alluded to, gave £2 for that also. Thus we were delivered at this time likewise. But now his means are gone. This is the most trying hour that as yet I have had in the work, as regards means; but I know that I shall yet praise the Lord for His help. I have mentioned my arguments before Him, and my gracious Lord, “the Father of the fatherless,” will send help.
Sept. 5th. Our hour of trial continues still. The Lord mercifully has given enough to supply our daily necessities; but He gives by the day now, and almost by the hour, as we need it. Nothing came in yesterday. I have besought the Lord again and again, both yesterday and to-day. It is as if the Lord said: “Mine hour is not yet come.” But I have faith in God. I believe that He will surely send help, though I know not whence it is to come. Many pounds are needed within a few days, and there is not a penny in hand. This morning £2 was given for the present necessities, by one of the labourers in the work. — Evening: This very day the Lord sent again some help to encourage me to continue to wait on Him, and to trust in Him. As I was praying this afternoon respecting the matter, I felt fully assured that the Lord would send help, and praised Him beforehand for His help, and asked Him to encourage our hearts through it. I have been also led yesterday and to-day to ask the Lord especially, that He would not allow my faith to fail. A few minutes after I had prayed, brother T came and brought
£4 1s. 5d., which had come in, in several small donations. He told me, at the same time, that to-morrow the books would be brought from the Infant-Orphan-House, when money must be advanced for housekeeping. I thought for a moment it might be well to keep £3 of this money for that purpose. But it occurred to me immediately, “Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.” The Lord can provide, by to-morrow, much more than I need, and I therefore sent £3 to one of the sisters, whose quarterly salary was due, and the remaining £1 1s. 5d. to the Boys’ Orphan-House for housekeeping. Thus I am still penniless. My hope is in God: He will provide.
Sept. 6th. This morning the books were brought from the Infant Orphan-House, and the matron sent to ask when she should fetch them, implying, when they would have been looked over, and when money would be advanced for housekeeping. I said “To-morrow,” though I had not a single penny in hand. About an hour after, brother T — — sent me a note, to say that he had received £1 this morning, and that last evening a brother had sent 29lbs. of salt, 44 dozen of onions, and 26lbs. of groats.
Sept. 8th. Saturday evening. I am still in the hour of probation. It has not pleased my gracious Lord to send me help as yet. — The evening before last I heard brother Craik preach on Genesis xil., about Abraham’s faith. He showed how all went on well, as long as Abraham acted in faith, and walked according to the will of God; and how all failed when he distrusted God. Two points I felt particularly important in my case. (1) That I may not go any by-ways, or ways of my own, for deliverance. I have about £220 in the bank, which, for other purposes in the Lord’s work, has been entrusted to me by a brother and a sister. I might take of this money, and say but to the sister, and write but to the brother, that I have taken, in these straits, £20, £50, or £100, for the Orphans, and they would be quite satisfied (for both of them have liberally given for the Orphans, and the brother has more than once told me, only to let him know when I wanted money); but this would be a deliverance of my own, not«God’s deliverance. Besides, it would be no small barrier to the-exercise of faith, in the next hour of trial. (2) I was particularly reminded afresh, in, hearing brother Craik, of the danger of dishonouring’ the Lordyin that very way in which I have, through His grace, in some small measure brought glory to Him, even by trusting in Him. — Yesterday and to-day I have been pleading with God eleven arguments, why He would be graciously pleased to send help. My mind has been in peace respecting the matter. Yesterday the peace amounted even to joy in the Holy Ghost. But this I must say, that the burden of my prayer, during the last days, has been chiefly, that the Lord in mercy would keep my faith from failing. My eyes are up to Him. He can help soon. One thing I am sure of: In His own way and time He will help.
Arguments in Prayer.
The arguments which I plead with God are : —
(1) That I set about the work for the glory of God, z.e., that - there might be a visible proof, by God supplying, in answer to prayer only, the necessities of the Orphans, that He is the Living God, and most willing, even in our day, to answer prayer: and that, therefore, He would be pleased to send supplies.
(2) That God is the ‘‘ Father of the fatherless,’ and that He, therefore, as their Father, would be pleased to provide. (Psalm Ixviil. 5.)
(3) That I have received the children in the name of Jesus, and that, therefore, He, in these children, has been received, and is fed, and is clothed; and that, therefore, He would be pleased to consider this. (Mark ix. 36, 37.)
(4) That the faith of many of the children of God has been strengthened by this work hitherto, and that, if God were to withhold the means for the future, those who are weak in faith would be staggered; whilst, by a continuance of means, their faith might still further be strengthened.
(5) That many enemies would laugh, were the Lord to withhold supplies, and say, did we not foretell that this enthusiasm would come to nothing?
(6) That many of the children of God, who are uninstructed, or in a carnal state, would feel themselves justified to continue their alliance with the world in the work of God, and to go on as heretofore, in their unscriptural proceedings respecting similar institutions, so far as the obtaining of means is concerned, if He were not to help me.
(7) That the Lord would remember that I am His child, and that He would graciously pity me, and remember that J cannot provide for these children, and that therefore He would not allow this burden to lie upon me long without sending help.
(8) That He would remember likewise my fellow-labourers in the work, who trust in Him, but who would be tried were He to withhold supplies.
(9) That He would remember that I should have to dismiss the children from under our scriptural instruction to their former companions.:
(10) That He would show, that those were mistaken who said, that, at the first, supplies might be expected, while the thing was new, but not afterwards.
(11) That I should not know were He to withhold means, what construction I should put upon all the many most remarkable answers to prayer, which He had given me heretofore in connection with this work, and which most fully have shown to me that it is of God.
In some small measure I now understand, experimentally, the meaning of that word “how long,” which so frequently occurs in the prayers of the Psalms. But even now, by the grace of God, my eyes are up unto Him only, and I believe that He will send help.
- Sept. 10th. Monday morning. Neither Saturday nor yesterday had any money come in. It appeared to me now needful to take some steps on account of our need, 7.e., to go to the Orphan Houses, call the brethren and sisters together (who, except brother T, had never been informed about the state of the funds), state the case to them, see how much money was needed for the present, tell them that amidst all this trial of faith T still believed that God would help, and to pray with them specially, also, I meant to go for the sake of telling them that no more articles must be purchased than we have the means to pay for, but to let there be nothing lacking in any way to the children as regards nourishing food and needful clothing; for T would rather at once send them away than that they should lack. J meant to go for the sake also of seeing whether there were still articles remaining which had been sent for the purpose of being sold, or whether there were any articles really needless, that we might turn them into money. I felt that the matter was now come to a solemn crisis. — About half-past nine sixpence came in, which had been put anonymously into the box at Gideon Chapel. This money seemed to me like an earnest, that God would have compassion and send more. About ten, after I had returned from brother Craik, to whom I had unbosomed my heart again, whilst once more in prayer for help, a sister called who gave two sovereigns to my wife for the Orphans, stating that she had felt herself stirred up to come, and that she had delayed coming already too long. A few minutes after, when I went into the room where she was, she gave me two sovereigns more, and all this without knowing the least about our need. Thus the Lord most mercifully has sent us a little help, to the great encouragement of my faith. A few minutes after I was called on for money from the Infant Orphan-House, to which I sent £2, and £1 Os. 6d. to the Boys’ Orphan-House, and £1 to the Girls’ Orphan-House.
To-day I saw a young brother who, as well as one of his sisters, had been brought to the knowledge of the Lord through my Narrative.
Sept. 13th. This morning I found it was absolutely needful to tell the brethren and sisters about the state of the funds, and to give necessary directions as to not going into debt, ete. We prayed together, and had a very happy meeting. They all seemed comfortable. There was 12s. 6d. taken out of the boxes in the three houses, 12s. one of the labourers gave, and £1 1s. had come in for needlework done by the children. One of the sisters, who is engaged in the work, sent a message after me, not to trouble myself about her salary, for she should not want any for a twelvemonth. What a blessing to have such fellow-labourers!
Sept. 14th. I met again this morning with the brethren and sisters for prayer, as the Lord has not yet sent help. After prayer one of the labourers gave me all the money he had, 16s., saying that it would not be upright to pray, if he were not to give what he had. One of the sisters told me, that in six days she would give £6, which she.had in the Savings’ Bank for such a time of need. God be praised for such fellow-labourers! — Up to this day the matrons of the three houses had been in the habit of paying the bakers and the milkman weekly, because they had preferred to receive the payments in this way, and sometimes it had thus been also with the butcher and grocer. But, now, as the Lord deals out to us by the day, we considered it would be wrong to go on any longer in this way, as the week’s payment might become due, and we have no money to meet it; and thus those with whom we deal might be inconvenienced by us, and we be found acting against the commandment of the Lord, “Owe no man anything.” (Rom. xii. 8.) From this day, and henceforward, whilst the Lord gives to us our supplies by the day, we purpose therefore to pay at once for every articleas it is purchased, and never to buy anything except we can pay for it at once, however much it may seem to be needed, and however much those with whom we deal may wish to be paid only by the week. The little which was owed was paid off this day. — When I came home I found a large parcel of new clothes, which had been sent from Dublin for the Orphans, a proof that the Lord remembers us still. We met again in the evening for prayer. We were of good cheer, and still BeLimve that the Lord will supply our need.
Sept. 15th. Saturday. We met again this morning for prayer. God comforts our hearts. We are looking for help. I found that there were provisions enough for to-day and to-morrow, but there was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, in order that the children might not have newly-baked bread. This afternoon one of the labourers, who had been absent for several days from Bristol, returned, and gave £1. This evening we met again for prayer, when I found that 10s. 6d. more had come in since the morning. With this £1 10s. 6d. we were able to buy, even this Saturday evening, the usual quantity of bread (as it might be difficult to get stale bread on Monday morning), and have some money left. God be praised, who gave us grace to come to the decision not to take any bread to-day, as usual, nor to buy anything for which we cannot pay at once.
Sept. 17th. The trial still continues. It is now more and more trying, even to faith, as each day comes. Truly, the Lord has wise purposes in allowing us to call so long upon Him for help. But I am sure God will send help,,if we;can but wait. One of the labourers had had a little money come in, of which he gave 12s. 6d.; another labourer gave 11s. 8d., being all the money she had left: this, with 17s. 6d., which, partly, had come in, and, partly, was in hand, enabled us to pay what needed to be paid, and to purchase provisions, so that nothing yet, in any way, has been lacking. This evening I was rather tried respecting the long delay of larger sums coming; but being led to go to the Scriptures for comfort, my soul was greatly refreshed, and my faith again strengthened, by the xxxivth Psalm, so that I went very cheerfully to meet with my dear fellow-labourers for prayer. I read to them the Psalm, and sought to cheer their hearts through the precious promises contained in it.
Sept. 18th. Brother T. had 25s. in hand, and I had 3s. This £1 8s. enabled us to buy the meat and bread, which was needed; a little tea for one of the houses, and milk for all; no more than this is needed. Thus the Lord has provided not only for this day, but there is bread for two days in hand. Now, however, we are come to an extremity. The funds are exhausted. The labourers who had a little money have given as long as they had any lett. — Now observe how the Lord helped us! A lady from the neighbourhood of London who brought a parcel with money from her daughter, arrived four or five days since in Bristol, and took lodgings next door to the Boys’ Orphan-House. This afternoon she herself kindly brought me the money, amounting to £3 2s. 6d. We had been reduced so low as to be on the point of selling those things which could be spared; but this morning I had asked the Lord, if it might be, to prevent the necessity of our doing so. That the money had been so near the Orphan-Houses for several days without being given, is a plain proof that it was from the beginning in the heart of God to help us; but, because He delights in the prayers of His children, He had allowed us to pray so long; also to try our faith, and to make the answer so much the sweeter. It is indeed a precious deliverance. I burst out into loud praises and thanks the first moment I was alone, after I had received the money. I met with my fellow-labourers again this evening for prayer and praise; their hearts were not a little cheered. This money was this evening divided, and will comfortably provide for all that will be needed to-morrow.
Sept.€20th. Morning. The Lord has again kindly sent in a little.” yLast evening was given to me Is. 6d., and this morning £1 3s. Evening. This evening the Lord sent still further supplies; £8 11s. 24d. came in, as a further proof that the Lord is not unmindful of us. There was in the box of the Girls’ Orphan-House £1 1s., and in that of the Boys’ Orphan-House £1 7s. 24d. One of the labourers, in accordance with her promise this day week, gave £6 3s. About eighteen months ago she saw it right no longer to have money for herself in the Savings’ Bank, and she therefore, in her heart, gave the money which she had there to the Orphan-Houses, intending to draw it in a time of need, Some time since (she told me this evening) she drew a
part of it to buy several useful articles for the Orphan-Houses; now the sum was reduced to £6. When she found out the present need, she went this day week to the Savings’ Bank, and gave notice that she wished to draw her money to-day. Truly, as long as God shall be pleased to give me such fellow-labourers, His blessing will rest upon the work. This £8 11s. 24d. was divided this evening to supply the three houses, and we thanked God, unitedly, for His help.
Sept. 29th. Saturday evening. Prayer has been made for several days past respecting the rent, which is due this day. I have been looking out for it, though I knew not whence a shilling was to come. This morning brother T. called on me, and, as no money had come in, we prayed together, and continued in supplication from ten till a quarter to twelve. Twelve o’clock struck (the time when the rent ought to have been paid), but no money had been sent. For some days past I have repeatedly had a misgiving, whether the Lord might not disappoint us, in order that we might be led to provide by the week, or the day, for the rent. This is the second, and only the second, complete failure as to answers of prayer in the work, during the past four years and six months. The first was about the half-yearly rent of Castle-Green school-room, due July 1st, 1837, which had come in only in part by that time. I am now fully convinced that the rent ought to be put by daily or weekly, as God may prosper us, in order that the work, even as to this point, may be a testimony. May the Lord, then, help us to act accordingly; and may He now mercifully send in the means to pay the rent ! — Whilst in this matter our prayers have failed, either to humble us, or to show us how weak our faith is still, or to teach us (which seems to me the most probable) that we ought to provide the rent beforehand; the Lord has given us again fresh proofs, even this day, that He is mindful of us. There was not money enough in the Girls’ Orphan-House to take in bread (we give the bread to the children on the third day alter it is baked); but before the baker came, a lady called who had had some needlework done by the children, and paid 3s. 11d., and thus the matron was able to take in bread as usual. I found this morning 2s. in the box in my house, our extremity having led me to look into it. One of the labourers gave 13s. This 15s. was divided amongst the three matrons. Thanks to the Lord, there is all that is needed for to-day and to-morrow.
Sept. 30th. We are not only poor as regards the Orphan-fund, but also the funds for the other Objects bring us again and again to the Lord for fresh supplies. To-day, when we had not a single penny in hand, £5 was given for the other Objects.
Oct. 2nd. Tuesday evening. The Lord’s holy name be praised! He hath dealt most bountifully with us during the last three days! The day before yesterday £5 came in for the Orphans. Of this I gave to each house 10s., which supplied them before the provisions were consumed. Oh! how kind is the Lord. Always, before there has been actual want, He has sent help. Yesterday came in £1 10s. more. This £1 10s., with 4s. 2d. in hand, was divided for present necessities. Thus the expenses of yesterday, for housekeeping, were defrayed. The Lord helped me also to pay yesterday the £19 10s. for the rent. The means for it were thus obtained. One of the labourers had received through his family £10, and £5 besides from a sister in the Lord; also some other money. Of this he gave £16, which, with the £3 10s. that was left of the above-mentioned £5, which came in the day before yesterday, made up £19 10s., the gum which was needed. — This day we were again greatly reduced. There was no money in hand to take in bread as usual, for the Boys’ and Infants’ Orphan-Houses, but again the Lord helped. A sister who had arrived this afternoon from Swansea brought £1 7s., and one of the labourers sold an article, by means of which he was able to give £1 13s. Thus we had £3 : — £1 for each house, and could buy bread before the day was over. Hitherto we have lacked nothing!
Oct. 6th. Saturday. The Lord has most kindly helped us. It came to my mind that there were some new blankets in the Orphan-Houses, which had been given some time since, but which are not needed, and might therefore be sold. I was confirmed in this by finding that moths had got into one pair. T therefore sold ten pairs, having a good opportunity to do so. Thus the Lord not only supplied again our present need for the three houses, but I was also able to put by the rent for this week and the next, acting out the light which He had given us this day week. There came in 9s. 6d., besides £7 for the blankets. The School fund, also, was again completely exhausted, when to-day and yesterday came in so much, that not only the weekly salaries could be paid to-day, but also above £1 could be put by for rent.
Oct. 9th. Through the last-mentioned supplies for the Orphans we were helped up to this day; but to-day we were brought lower than ever. The provisions would have lasted out only to-day, and the money for milk in one of the houses could only be made up by one of the labourers selling one of his books. The matron in the Boys’ Orphan-House had this morning two shillings left. When in doubt whether to buy bread with it, or more meat, to make up the dinner with the meat which she had in the house, the baker called, and left three quarterns of bread as a present. In this great need, some money having been given to one of the labourers, he gave £2 of it, by which we were able to buy meat, bread, and other provisions. Nevertheless, even this day, low as we had been brought before this £2 was given, there had been all in the houses that was needed.
Oct. 10th. The Lord had sent in so much since yesterday afternoon, that we were able at our meeting this morning to divide £2 Os. 2d. between the three matrons, whereby we are
helped through this day. But now the coals in the Infant Orphan-House are out, and nearly so in the other two Houses. Also the treacle casks in all the three houses are nearly empty. On this account we have asked the Lord for fresh supplies.
Oct. 11th. The “Father of the fatherless” has again shown His care over us. An Orphan from Devonshire arrived last evening. With her was sent £2 5s. 6d. The sister who brought her gave also a silver tea-pot, sugar-basin, and cream-jug (48 oz. in weight), having found true riches in Christ. There was also in the boxes 9s. One of the labourers paid for a ton of coals. We obtained £16 16s. for the silver articles — Thus we were helped through the heavy expenses of the following days.
Oct. 16th. The dayscommenced with mercies. I was looking up to the Lord for help early this morning, when, almost immediately afterwards, brother T. came, and brought two silver table-spoons and six tea-spoons, which had been left anonymously, yesterday afternoon, at the Girls’ Orphan-House. This afternoon I received £12 from Staffordshire. On the seal of the letter which enclosed the money was “Ebenezer.” How true in our case! Surely this instance isa fresh “Ebenezer”’ to us; for hitherto the Lord has helped us.
Oct. 27th. Saturday. This day we have been again mercifully helped, though our need has been almost greater than ever. But, thanks to our adorable Lord! this day also we have not been confounded; for there was 6s. in the box at the Infant Orphan-House, and 6s. came in for things which had been given to be sold. To this one of the labourers added 18s. By means of this £1 10s. we have been able to meet all pressing demands, and to procure provisions for to-day and to-morrow.
Oct. 30th. This evening a sister gave me £20, ten of which were for the Orphans, and ten for the other Objects. Thus we are helped for this week.
Nov. 4th. Lord’s day. There was given, by a stranger, last Wednesday evening, at Bethesda Chapel, to one of the sisters, a sovereign for the Orphans, which I received to-day. Thus the Lord has again begun the week with mercy, and His love surely will help us through it, though again many pounds will be needed.
Noy. 5th. Monday. By means of the sovereign which had come in yesterday, and several small donations to-day and on the past days, together with £2 10s. which one of the labourers added of his own, £6 2s. 6d. was divided this day between the three matrons, which will supply their need for two days at least.
Nov. 7th. The funds are now again completely exhausted. To-day I divided £1 3s. 8d. which had come in yesterday; thus the necessary wants were supplied. The Lord be praised who has helped us hitherto! One of the Orphans was sent to-day to service, and the Lord enabled us to give her a suitable outfit.
Noy. 13th. This morning our want was again great. I have
£20 in hand which has been put by for rent, but, for the Lord’s honour, I would not take of it. Nothing had come in, and the labourers had scarcely anything to give. I went, however, to the Orphan-Houses, to pray with my fellow-labourers, and, if it might be, to comfort them, and see what could be done. When I came there, I found that 19s. 6d. had come in this morning. On enquiry, I heard that only 2s. 6d. more was needed to carry us through the day. This one of the labourers was able to add of his own. Thus the Lord has again helped us out of our difficulty. One of the labourers gave some things which he could do without, and another gave a work-box to be sold for the Orphans. — Before this day has come to an end, the Lord has sent in £1 2s. 4d. more, so that we have also a, little for to-morrow.
Nov. 15th. The money which had come in the day before yesterday, supplied the necessities of yesterday also; but to-day we were brought again very low. I went to the Orphan-Houses, to pray with my fellow-labourers, not without hope that the Lord might have appeared, and sent a little help. When I arrived I found that one of the labourers had sold a few of his books, together with two which had been given by another labourer on the 13th, for which he had received 7s. To this one of the labourers added 7s. 9d. This 14s. 9d. supplied the most pressing necessities. When I came home I found 1s. in the box at my house, and soon after received 5s. for a pair of fire-screens, which had been given for sale. There were also three baskets of potatoes sent to the three different houses. A sack of potatoes had been ordered, but the brother, who had been desired to bring them, could not conveniently do so to-day, and thought, as this present had been ordered from him, there would be no immediate need of them; and oh! how kind of the Lord to order it thus: for had he brought them, the payment would have taken away the money which was intended for the usual quantity of bread. But before the day was over, the Lord helped still further. In the afternoon a gentleman from Bath called at the Boys’ Orphan-House, and gave a cheque for £3. Altogether £4 4s. 9d. has been sent by the Lord this day.
Nov. 17th. Saturday. To-day above £3 was needed, and as only 15s. 6d. had come in, we found it needful to determine to dispose of a few articles of furniture which we conveniently could do without. One of the labourers gave a good watch to be sold, which she had bought some months since, there being then no time-piece in one of the houses. In consideration of these articles to be sold, I took, for the present necessities of the Orphans, £2 10s. of the money which had been put by for the rent, to be replaced when these articles could be sold at a suitable opportunity. Thus we were helped to the close of one more week.
November 20th. ‘To-day our need was exceedingly great, but the Lord’s help was great also. I went to meet with the brethren and sisters as usual. I found that £1 would be needed to supply the necessities of to-day, but 3s. only had come in. Just when we were going to pray, one of the labourers came in, who alter prayer, gave 10s. Whilst we were praying, another labourer came in, who had received £1. Thus we had £1 13s. F even more, therefore, than was absolutely needed.
November 21st. Never were we so reduced in funds as to-day. There was not a single half-penny in hand between the Matrons of the three houses. Nevertheless there was a good dinner, and, by managing so as to help one another with bread, etc., there was a prospect of getting over this day also; but for none of the houses had we the prospect of being able to take in bread. When I left the brethren and sisters at one o’clock, alter prayer, I told them that we must wait for help, and see how the Lord would deliver us at this time. I was sure of help, but we were indeed straitened. When I got to Kingsdown, I felt that I needed more exercise, being very cold; therefore I went not the nearest way home, but round by Clarence Place. About twenty yards from my house, I met a brother who walked back with me, and after a little conversation gave me £10 to be handed over to the brethren, the deacons, towards providing the poor saints with coals, blankets and warm clothing; also £5 for the Orphans, and £5 for the other Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. The brother had called twice while I was gone to the Orphan-Houses, and had I now been one half minute later, I should have missed him. But the Lord knew our need, and therefore allowed me to meet him. I sent off the £5 immediately to the matrons.
November 24th. This again has been a very remarkable day. We had as little in hand this morning as at any time, and yet several pounds were needed. But “God, who is rich in mercy,” and whose Word so positively declares that none who trust in Him shall be confounded, has helped us through this day also. While I was in prayer about ten in the morning respecting the funds, I was informed that a gentleman had called to see me. He came to inform me that a lady had ordered three sacks of potatoes to be sent to the Orphan-Houses. Never could they have come more seasonably. This was an encouragement to me to continue to expect help. When I came to the prayer-meeting about twelve o’clock, I heard that 2s. had come in, also £1 for a guitar which had been given for sale. ‘The payment for this guitar had been expected for many weeks. It had been mentioned among us repeatedly, that it might come just at a time when we most needed it: and oh! how true. Also the watch which had been given was sold for £2 10s.
November 25th. Lord’s-day. The Lord kindly remembers us before there is absolute need. A sister who is going to leave Bristol, called on me to bid me farewell, and gave me, in parting, £1 10s. for the Orphans. It is remarkable, that almost every donation given within the last four months and thirteen days, since our funds have been low, has come from unexpected quarters, to make the hand of God so much the more manifest.
November 28th. This is, perhaps, of all days the most rematkable as yet, so far as regards the funds. When I was in prayer this morning respecting them, I was enabled firmly to believe that the Lord would send help, though all seemed dark as to natural appearances. At twelve o’clock I met as usual with the brethren and sisters for prayer. There had come in only ls., which was left last evening anonymously at the Infants’ Orphan-House, and which, except 2d., had already been spent, on account of the great need. I heard also that an individual had gratuitously cleaned the time-piece in the Infants’ Orphan-House, and had offered to keep the time-pieces in the three houses in repair. Thus the Lord gave even in this a little encouragement, and a proof that He is still mindful of us. On enquiry I found that there was everything needful for the dinner in all the three houses; but neither in the Infants’ nor Boys’ Orphan-Houses was there bread enough for tea, nor money to buy milk. Lower we had never been, and, perhaps never so low. We gave ourselves now unitedly to prayer, laying the case in simplicity before the Lord. Whilst in prayer there was a knock at the door, and one of the sisters went out. After the two brethren who labour in the Orphan-Houses and I had prayed aloud, we continued for a while silently in prayer. As to myself, I was lifting up my heart to the Lord to make a way for our escape, and in order to know if there were any other thing which I could do with a good conscience, besides waiting on Him, so that we might have food for the children. At last we rose from our knees. I said, “God willsurely send help.” The words had not quite passed from my lips, when I perceived a letter lying on the table, which had been brought whilst we were in prayer. It was from my wife, containing, another letter from a brother with £10 for the Orphans. The evening before last I was asked by a brother whether the balance in hand for the Orphans would be as great this time, when the accounts would be made up, as the last time. My answer was, that it would be as great as the Lord pleased. The next morning this brother was moved to remember the Orphans, and to send to-day £10, which arrived soon after I had left my house, and which on account of our need was forwarded immediately to me. Thus I was enabled to give £6 10s. for housekeeping, and to put by £3 10s. for rent.
November 29th. The Lord has greatly blessed our meetings for prayer. That these meetings have not been in vain, as regards the procuring of funds, has been already sufficiently seen by the many instances which have been recorded in the foregoing pages. To-day, however, we have had another particular proof of this. When we met I found that 10s. had come in yesterday afternoon. When I returned home I found £1 had come in, and shortly after [received another £1. In the evening I received £50,
which was sent from Suffolk by a sister who had often expressed how gladly she would contribute more largely to the work which is in our hands, had she the means, and who just now, in this our time of need, has obtained the means to carry out the desire of her heart. I rejoice in the last donation particularly, not because of the largeness of the sum, but because it enables me to pay to my brethren and sisters in the Orphan-Houses the salary which is due to them. For though they are willing to labour without any remuneration, nevertheless “the labourer is worthy of his reward.” This donation also proves that the Lord is willing even now, as formerly, to send large sums. But I expect still lar ger. The same sister who sent the £50 for the Orphans, sent, at “the same time, £30 to be divided between brother Craik and me for our personal expenses. How abundantly does the Lord care for us! Truly we serve a kind master!
December 6th. This day our need was again as great as ever, but the deliverance of the Lord was also as manifest as ever. This afternoon I received £100 from a sister; £50 for the Orphans, and £50 for the School, Bible, and Missionary Fund. This same sister, who earns her bread with her own hands, had given, on October 5th, 1837, £50 towards the Boys’ Orphan-House, and gave for the necessities of the poor saints, in August, 1838, £100 more; for she had been made willing to act out those precious exhortations: “Having food and raiment let us be therewith content.” ‘‘ Sell that ye have, and give alms; provide yourselves bags which waa not old, a treasure in the heavens that faileth not, where no thief approacheth, neither moth corrwpteth.” * Lay not wp for yourselves treasures wpon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal: but lay wp for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal.” Respecting the £50 of this sum which has been given for the School, Bible, and Missionary Fund, it is worthy of remark, that we would not order Reference Bibles till we had the means. We had repeatedly asked the Lord to supply us so largely, if it were His will, that at the time of the public meetings we might be able to speak again of abundance. For though for some months past the time has been fixed for the public meetings, without any reference to the state of the funds, nevertheless; it might have had the appearance that we had convened the brethren for the sake of telling them about our poverty, and thus to induce them to give.
December 11th, 12th, and 13th. On the evenings of these three days there were public meetings, at which I gave an account of the Lord’s dealings with us in reference to the Orphan-Houses, and the other objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. As the work, and particularly that of the Orphan-Houses, was begun for the benefit of the Church at large, it appeared well to us, that from time to time it should be publicly stated how the
Lord had dealt with us in reference to it; and as on December 9th the third year had been completed, since the commencement of the Orphan work, this seemed to be a suitable time for having these meetings.
Should any one suppose, in reading the plain details of the trials through which we passed during the four months previous to December 9th, 1838, respecting the Orphan-Houses, that I have been disappointed as regards my expectations, as far as the funds are concerned: my answer is, that the reverse is the case. For straits were expected. Long before the trials came, I had more than once stated publicly, that answers to prayer, in the time of need — the manifestation of the hand of God, stretched out for our help — was just the very end for which the Institution was established.
I further state that the Orphans have never lacked anything. Had I had thousands of pounds in hand, they would have fared no better than they have; for they have always had good nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, ete.
There was two years ago a balance of £373 4s. 84d. in hand, and now the balance is £50 5s. 3d.
December 9th, 1888 — December 9th, 1839.
December 16th. There was a paper anonymously put into the box at Bethesda Chapel, containing £4 10s. In the paper was written, “For the rent of the Orphan-Houses, from December 10th to December 31st, 1838. ‘ O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in Him!’ In order that the reader may be able to enter into the value of this donation, I would request him to read over once more what I wrote under September 29th of this year. The individual who gave this £4 10s. for the rent of the Orphan-Houses for the first three weeks after the public meetings, at which the matter about the rent, for the instruction of the brethren, was fully stated, continued for three years, up to December 10th, 1841, to give regularly, but anonymously, £1 10s. a week for the same purpose, which was exactly the sum required every week for the rent of those three houses. Thus the Lord rewarded our faithfulness in carrying out the light which He had given us.
December 20th. As the expenses for the Orphans have been above £47 within the last six days, and as but little above £13 has come in, and as the money for printing the Report had to be kept back, in order that we might not be in debt, we were again to-day very low in funds, though it is but six days since the public meetings. As I knew that to-morrow several pounds would be needed to supply the matrons, I gave myself this morning to prayer. About a quarter of an hour afterwards I received £3, the payment of a legacy left by a sister, who fell asleep in Jesus several months since, in Ireland. Besides this I received from the brother, through whom the legacy was
paid, £2 10s. for the Orphan Fund. With this £5 10s. I hope to be able to meet the expenses of to-morrow.
I observe here that it might have been naturally supposed that every heart would be touched, through what was publicly stated about the remarkable manner in which the Lord had provided for us for nearly 150 days, and that consequently an abundance of means would have come in. To this is to be added, that £50 5s. 3d. was in hand on December 10th, and that therefore it seemed not likely that we should be in need; and yet, by December 20th, we were again so poor, that there was nothing to meet the expenses of the next day, as has just been related. All this came not unawares upon me and my fellow-labourers; for we had been taught to look off from all creature expectations to the Living God.
December 22nd. A solemn day. I received to-day the information from my father that my brother died on October 7th. When I saw him in April this year, he was living in open sin, and in disunion with my father. I cannot learn that his end was different from his life, so that I have no comfort in his death. — Of all the trials that can befall a believer, the death of an unconverted near relative seems to me one of the greatest. “Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?” must be the stay of the believer at such a time, and, by grace, it is my stay now. I know that the Lord is glorified in my brother, whatever his end has been: whether in his last hours, like the thief on the cross, he was saved, or whether he died in sin and unbelief, yet I do, as to myself, desire from my heart to adore that grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning many years ago. — May the Lord make this event a lasting blessing to me, especially in leading me to earnestness in prayer for my father!
December 28th. This evening the Lord kindly sent help, when we were again destitute of the means of providing for to-morrow. I received £20 (half for the Orphan-Fund, and half for the other Funds), with Ecclesiastes ix. 10: ‘‘ Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy maght; for there is no work, nor device, nor knowledge, nor wisdom, in the grave, whither thou oest.””
: December 29th. A sister, having felt herself particularly stirred wp about the Orphans, as she writes, sent this evening £7, £5 from herself, and £2 which had been sent from the Hast Indies: To the Lord this is to be ascribed, who in answer to our prayers, makes these impressions on the hearts of His children.
The Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, for my personal needs, £350 4s. 8d.
During no period of my life had I such need of means, on account of my own long illness and that of my dear wife, and on account of the many and particular calls for means, as during the past year; but also during no period of my life has the Lord so richly supplied me,
January 11th. Since December 29th, there came in several donations for the Orphans, so that we were supplied, before what we had in hand was quite gone. On the 7th, however, all our money was again expended, when a brother who is staying here gave me £10. To-day, when this £10 was given out, I received from London £3 7s., and 4s. besides. Thus the Lord, as our need is, sends help, without our asking any one.
January 17th. This afternoon all which was in hand was given for housekeeping, and I was again penniless. The Lord, however, was mindful of this, and in the evening two sovereigns were left anonymously at my house.
January 22nd. A brother, formerly an officer in the navy, who, for Jesus’ sake has given up his rank and pay, gave three silver tablespoons, three silver forks, and two teaspoons, to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. The produce of them, with £1 5s. which has come in besides, enabled us to meet the expenses of to-day and to-morrow.
January 28th. Monday morning. We are now quite reduced as to means for the Orphans. The little which is in hand, has been put by for rent. How the Lord will help us through this day I know not; but I have faith in God. He will help us, though I know not how. By God’s help I purpose not to take a single penny of what is in hand, because it is due for rent. — This morning and afternoon there came in from one individual 4s.6d., and from a sister, who earns her bread by needlework, £1. There was also £1 0s. 10d. taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, which our need had led us to open. Thus we were helped through the day, and have £1 left for to-morrow.
February Ist. There is no money in hand for the Orphans. I am waiting on God. Just when Brother T. had come to tell me that the need for this day would be 19s. 6d., one of the labourers in the work came and give me £1.
February yd. Lord’s-day. A sister sent from her sick bed this evening £2 for the Orphans, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10. Thus the Lord has supplied our need for to-morrow.
February 7th. This day has been one of the most remarkable days as regards the funds. There was no money in hand. I was waiting upon God. I had asked Him repeatedly, but no supplies came. Brother T. called between 11 and 12 o’clock, to tell me that about £1 2s. would be needed, to take in bread for the three houses, and to meet the other expenses; but we had only 2s. 9d., which yesterday had been taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses. He went to Clifton to make arrangements for the reception of three orphans; for though we have no funds in hand, the work goes on, and our confidence is not diminished. I therefore requested him to call on his way back from Clifton, to see whether the Lord might have sent any money in the meantime, When he came I had received nothing, but
one of the labourers, having 5s. of his own, gave it. It was now four o’clock. I knew not how the sisters had got through the day. Just before I went out to preach, 5s. was brought to my house, which I took as a token for good. I had beenasking the Lord for a passage of the Word to speak from this evening, and at last was directed to Matt. vi. 19-34, a subject most applicable to our circumstances.
After the meeting was over, I went to the Girls’ Orphan-House, to meet with the brethren for prayer, and to give the 5s. which I had received, and to see what could be done. When I arrived there, I found that a box had come for me from Barnstaple. The carriage was paid, else there would have been no money to pay for it. (See how the Lord’s hand is in the smallest matters!) The box was opened, and it contained, in a letter from a sister, £10, of which £8 was for the Orphans, and £2 for the Bible Fund; from brethren at Barnstaple, £2 11s. 2d.; and from another brother 5s. Besides this there were in the box various articles of clothing, and also trinkets to be sold. On enquiry, how the sisters had been carried through the day, T found it thus: everything was in the houses which was needed for dinner. After dinner a lady from Thornbury came and bought one of my Narratives and one of the Reports, and gave 3s. besides. About five minutes afterwards the baker came to the Boys’ Orphan-House. The matron of the Girls’ Orphan-House, seeing him, went immediately with the 6s. 6d. which she had just received (to prevent his being sent away, as there was no money in hand at the Boys’ Orphan-House), and bought bread to the amount of 4s. 6d. The two remaining shillings, with the little which was in hand, served to buy bread for the Girls’ Orphan-House. By the donations sent in the box, I was enabled to give a rich supply to the matrons before the close of the day.
How sweet to see our Father thus caring for us! To a person who has spiritual eyes, what a proof is one such day of the most particular providence of God! And we have had many such days.
February 15th. This afternoon I paid out the last money which we had in hand, and in giving it to brother T. said, “We have now again to look to the Lord for further supplies.” This evening £5 was given to me, which had come in under the following circumstances : — A gentleman and lady visited the Orphan-Houses, and met at the Boys’ Orphan-House two ladies who were likewise visiting. One of the ladies said to the matron of the Boys’ Orphan-House: “‘ Of course, you cannot carry on these institutions without a good stock of funds.’ The gentleman, turning to the matron said: ‘“‘ Have you a good stock?”’ She replied: “Our funds are deposited in a bank which cannot break.” The tears came into the eyes of the enquiring lady. The gentleman, on leaving, gave to the master of the Boys £5, which came in when I had not a penny in hand,
March 5th. Up to this day, since February 16th, the supplies for the Orphans have come in so seasonably, that we were able comfortably to meet all the demands. To-da’y, however, I knew that there would be again several pounds required, as, besides the daily provisions, there were coals needed, the treacle-casks in two houses were empty, and there was but 5s. in hand. I gave myself therefore to prayer this morning. Wuitst I was IN PRAYER, Q. Q. sent a cheque for £7 10s. Thus the Lord has again most seasonably helped us out of our difficulty. There came in still further this day, £1 19s. 2d., by the sale of some articles which had been given for the benefit of the Orphans.
March 16th. Saturday. By the good hand of the Lord we are brought to the close of one more week. I have been able to meet all the current expenses for the Orphans, and to pay, besides this, £10 for salaries. Thus a part of what has been due for several weeks to my dear fellow-labourers is defrayed. I have especially prayed within the last ten days that the Lord would be pleased to give me the means for this. I have 2s. 83d. left.
March 18th. Monday. Last evening £5 came in with Eccles. ix. 10. Thus we were again enabled to supply all the necessities of this day.
Pause a few moments, dear reader! Consider how seasonably the Lord sends the supplies! Not once does He forget us! Not once is our need only half supplied! Not once do His supplies come too late! Dear reader, if you have not the like experience of the Lord’s watchful care, “Oh taste and see that the Lord is good.”
March 22nd. Some trinkets which had been given, and 12s. which was in hand, supplied the need of to-day. Yesterday six sacks of potatoes were sent. We were not able to lay in a stock last autumn (as we had done the two previous autumns), on account of want of means, but in no previous year have we had so many sent.
March 23rd. To-day I received a letter from brother T., who is, on account of his health, in Devonshire, to inform me that a heavy gold chain, a ring set with ten brilliants, a pair of gold bracelets, and £2 have been given to him. He gave a Report to a brother, who, having read it, was thereby stirred up to prayer, and knowing that his believing sister possessed these trinkets, he asked the Lord to incline her heart to give them up for the benefit of our Orphans, which she soon after did. By means of these donations I am able both to meet the remaining expenses of this week, and also to pay £15 which still remains due on account of the salaries. My fellow-labourers not only never ask me for anything, but are willing to part with money, or anything else in the hour of need; nevertheless, I had asked the Lord about this point frequently, and He has now given me my request, whereof I am glad. I received also £5 10s., besides a number of things to be disposed of for the Orphans.
April 9th. I am once more penniless. — I few hours after I had written this, there was given to me by a brother, £2 10s.
April 11th. It is three years to-day since the first Orphans were received. Good indeed has the Lord been to us during these three years! We have lacked nothing! Again He has sent this day, in a remarkable manner, £5, with the following letter, addressed to a brother : —
“My dear Friend, enclosed is £5 for the”Orphan-Asylum, the history of which is rather interesting. We have a servant who lived some years ago as kitchen-maid in a noble family (i.e. the master a wealthy member of Parliament, the mistress an earl’s daughter). No perquisites were allowed; but the individual in question acted on the same principle as her fellow-servants, and sold kitchen-stuff for her own benefit, which she thinks might amount to £4; and therefore she believes that £5 would fully repay principal and interest. The money is of course due to her former master and mistress, with whom I have had several interviews on the subject. They were disposed that the money should be given to some charity; and in consequence of reading one of the Reports you kindly sent me, the young woman had a great desire that her own repentance might yield fruit to that work of faith and love. Her wishes have been sanctioned by her former mistress. It is rather remarkable that our truly Christian servant had been converted a year and a half, before this individual sin, calling for pecuniary restitution, had come to her remembrance.”
April 14th. To-day £5 Os. 8d. came in for the Orphans, £1 of which is one of the most remarkable gifts that we have ever had. A poor brother, with a large family, and small wages (there are eight in the family, and he had 15s. per week till lately, when they were raised to 18s.) put by this money by little and little of what was given him by his master for beer. This brother, who was converted about five years ago, was before that time a notorious drunkard.
July 2nd. To-day was given me, when there was not one shilling in hand, £50 for the School, Bible, and Missionary Fund.
July 15th. Monday. To-day £2 7s. 3d. was needed for the Orphans, but we had nothing. How to obtain the means for a dinner, and for what else was needed, I knew not. My heart was perfectly at peace, and unusually sure of help, though I knew not in the least whence it was to come. Before brother T. came, I received a letter from India, written in May, with an order for £50 for the Orphans. I had said last Saturday to brother T., that it would be desirable to have £50, as the salaries of all my fellow-labourers are due, the three treacle-casks empty, all the provision stores exhausted, several articles of clothing needed, and worsted for the boys to go on with their knitting. Now the Lord has sent exactly £50. Moreover this money comes very seasonably, as in three days I shall have to leave
Bristol for some days, and can now go comfortably, as regards leaving means behind.
In the afternoon of this same day I met at a brother’s house with several believers, when a sister said that she had often thought about the care and burden I must have on my mind, as regards obtaining the necessary supplies for so many persons. As this may not be a solitary instance, I would state, that, by the grace of God, this is no cause of anxiety tome. The children I have years ago cast upon the Lord. The whole work is His, and it becomes me to be without carefulness. In whatever points I am lacking, in this point I am able, by the grace of God, to roll the burden upon my Heavenly Father. Though now (July, 1845) for about seven years our funds have been so exhausted, that it has been comparatively a rare case that there have been means in hand to meet the necessities of the Orphans for three days together; yet have I been only once tried in spirit, and that was on September 18th, 1838, when for the first time the Lord seemed not to regard our prayer. But when He did send help at that time, and I saw that it was only for the trial of our faith, and not because He had forsaken the work, that we were brought so low, my soul was so strengthened and encouraged, that I have not only not been allowed to distrust the Lord since that time, but I have not even been cast down when in the deepest poverty. We can expect nothing but that our faith will yet be tried, and it may be more than ever; and we shall fall, if the Lord does not uphold us.
August 5th. Monday. On Saturday and yesterday morning I had repeatedly asked the Lord to send us help, as there was not a penny in hand for the need of to-day. Yesterday morning a brother gave me two sovereigns, and in the evening I received two more. Besides this, there was £4 10s. anonymously given for three weeks’ rent for the Orphan-Houses, also 10s. by a brother, and 9s. came in for needlework of the children; so that altogether £9 9s. came in yesterday.
August 12th. Monday. The Lord has again kindly sent £11. Of this sum, £10 came in from Q. Q., when again there was not one penny in hand. We have now supplies for about four days.
August 19th. Monday. This has been again a day in which our faith has been particularly tried; but even this day we have not been confounded. Not one penny was in hand when the day began. We had therefore now, for more than one hundred persons, again to look to the Lord. But this I must say, to the praise of the Lord, my soul was perfectly at peace. T meant to have gone very early to the Orphan-Houses to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer; but, as one person after the other called upon me, I was kept from it the whole morning. When brother T. called upon me between 12 and 1 o’clock for money, I had none to give. In the afternoon at four I was able to meet with the brethren and sisters. WhenI came to the Girls’
Orphan-House, I found that one of those children, for the reception of whom we had given notice, had been brought from Bath, and with him was sent £1 5s. After the meeting was over, one of the labourers gave 10s. By means of this £1 15s. we were able for this day also to provide everything needful,
August 21st. Nothing had come in since yesterday. There would have been needed 13s. to have taken in the usual quantity of bread. After we had prayed, one of the labourers who had contributed yesterday and the day before, gave to-day 5s. more. This helped us to buy milk; but, in one of the houses, the usual quantity of bread could not be taken in.
August 22nd. In my morning walk, when I was reminding the Lord of our need, I felt assured that He would send help this day. My assurance sprang from our need; for there seemed no way to get through the day, without help being sent. After breakfast I considered whether there was anything which might be turned into money for the dear children. Among other things, there came under my hands a number of religious pamphlets which had been given for the benefit of the Orphans; but all seemed not nearly enough to meet the necessities of the day. In this our deep poverty, after I had gathered together the few things for sale, a sister, who earns her bread by the labour of her hands, brought £82. This sister has seen it to be binding upon believers in our Lord Jesus to act out His commandments: “Sell that ye have (sell your possessions) and give alms” (Luke xi. 33); and “Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth” (Matt. vi. 19). Accordingly she had drawn her money out of the bank and stocks, being £250, and had brought it to me at three different times for the benefit of the Orphans, the Bible, Missionary, and School Fund, and the poor saints. About two months ago she brought me £100 more, being the produce of some other possession which she had sold, the half of which was to be used for the School, Bible, and Missionary Fund; and the other half for the poor saints. This £82 which she had brought to-day is the produce of the sale of her last earthly possession. — (At the time I am preparing the seventh edition for the press, more than twenty-nine years have passed away, and this sister has never expressed the least regret as to the step she took, but goes on, quietly labouring with her hands, to earn her bread.) — But even now, when this money was given, I left it in the hands of the Lord, whether any part of it should be applied for the Orphans. I asked the sister, therefore, whether she wished the money to be spent in any particular way, as she had expressed her wish about the former sums. This time she left it with me, to lay out the money as I thought best. I took, therefore, half of it for the Orphans, and half for the other Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
Visit to Plymouth.
From September 16th to September 28th we were at Teignmouth, my former field of labour. I had not seen the brethren, among whom I used to labour, since May, 1833. The Lord gave me strength many times to minister in the Word among them, during the time of my stay there. At Teignmouth also, I had, in some respects, reason to be glad, particularly in that I saw some of those truths practised, and that more fully and intelligently, which, though in much weakness and indistinctly, I had sought to set forth whilst labouring there. The saints there shewed us much love.
f Benefits of Early Rasing.
On September 28th we left Teignmouth for Plymouth. During my stay there I was stirred up afresh to early rising, a blessing, the results of which I have not lost since. That which led me to it was the example of the brother in whose house I was staying, and a remark which he made in speaking on the sacrifices in Leviticus, “That as not the refuse of the animals was to be offered up, so the best part of our time should be especially given to communion with the Lord.” I had been, on the whole, rather an early riser during former years. But since my head had been so weak, I thought, that, as the day was long enough for my strength, it would be best for me not to rise early, in order that thus my head might have the longer quiet. On this account I rose only between six and seven, and sometimes after seven. After I had heard the remark to which I have alluded, I determined, that whatever my body might suffer, I would no longer let the most precious part of the day pass away, while I was in bed. By the grace of God I was enabled to begin the very next day to rise earlier, and have continued to rise early since that time. I allow myself now about seven hours sleep, which, though I am far from being strong, and have much to tire me mentally, I find quite sufficient to refresh me.
Any one need but make the experiment of spending one, two, or three hours in prayer and meditation before breakfast, either in his room, or with his Bible in his hand in the fields, and he will soon find out the beneficial effect which early rising has upon the outward and inward man. I beseech all my brethren and sisters into whose hands this may fall, and who are not in the habit of rising early, to make the trial, and they will praise the Lord for having done so.
October Ist. Plymouth. To-day my soul was again especially drawn out in prayer for the dear Orphans. I not merely asked the Lord that He would still continue to supply their need, but I was so fully assured that He had sent the necessary means since I last heard, that I was enabled to praise Him for having done so. Immediately alter I had praised Him, but while
I was yet on my knees, came a letter from brother T., dated Bristol, September 29th, in which he writes thus :- —
“The Lord’s help has been graciously continued to us. Ever since you left, the supplies have come in so seasonably, that I have not had occasion to open, until now, the boxes in the Orphan-Houses. I have in hand £1 3s. 83d., to be multiplied as the Lord wills. I had written thus far, and was on the point of writing that we expected sister E. home this evening, when the door-bell rang, and sister K. came in, bringing a little packet of money, directed to you from Hereford, enclosing a letter and ten sovereigns “for your labours of faith and love’; so that the remainder of the barrel of meal has been multiplied somewhat already. It is most seasonable help! It rejoices me that it has come in time for you to have the intelligence with this letter.”
On October 17th I returned to Bristol, with renewed strength, for active service.
October 17th. Bristol. The Lord has been again very gracious as regards the funds; within the last days, several pounds had come in; and yesterday, over and above all this, arrived £15 from London for some articles which had been sent there to be sold. What can we render unto the Lord for all His benefits!
October 19th. The Lord is still pouring in bountifully! This morning £10 was sent from Worcester, and a sister brought £7, being the produce of the sale of ladies’ baskets, which she and some other sisters are making for the benefit of the Orphans. This last case shows what various means the Lord uses to provide for our need; yet all comes, without one single individual being asked to give help; for to the Lord alone we speak about our need. We are now again comparatively rich, ie. we have means in hand to meet the current expenses of about eaght days, which has been only two or three times the case during the last fifteen months.
October 30th. A little boy brought me a letter, given to him by a gentleman and lady in the street, as he said, to take to my house. The letter contained these words with a five-pound note: “The enclosed £5 accept for the benefit of the Orphans, in the name of the Lord Jesus.”
November 11th. Monday morning. Yesterday, when there was not a penny in.hand, there was given to me, with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, ten shillings. This morning there came in £1 10s, more. Soon afterwards a note was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, to say that the need of to-day would be £3. Jusr wuite I was READING THE NOTE I received another, enclosing a sovereign, which a sister from Devonshire had given to one of the brethren for the Orphans. Thus I had just the £3 which was needed. A few minutes after came in Is. more.
November 12th. The need of to-day was £2. As only 1s. had been left in hand yesterday, and no more than 6s. had come in, we were again in a strait. But I was not looking at the little in hand, but at the fulness of God. I sent off the little which I had. In the afternoon we met for prayer. I then found that 9s. 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Infant Orphan-House, and that 4s. more had come in by the sale of some old books. To this one of the labourers added 2s. 3d., all she had of her own. Ajter prayer there came in 2s. 6d., which was given while we were in prayer. In the evening we met again for prayer, when another labourer gave 3s. 4d. Thus, in our deep poverty, we got together this day £1 Os. 7d., which supplied our absolute necessities. We were this afternoon so reduced, till the Lord sent a little help, that there were no means to provide breakfast for to-morrow, for the children in the Boys’ Orphan-House.
November 13th. Nothing has come in. Our need is even greater to-day than yesterday, on account of our not having been able yesterday to take in the usual quantity of provisions. In this our need I packed up the books, which had been intended for sale on August 22nd, when the Lord sent such a rich supply before they were actually disposed of. To them one of the labourers added some of his own, and a few other articles. Also some old jackets, which had been sent, were packed up to be disposed of. At twelve I met with my fellow-labourers for prayer.
There was everything in the houses which was needed for dinner, but there were no means to get milk for tea. (The children have milk and water at tea time). Three of my helpers went out to dispose of the articles. At four in the afternoon I received the information that 14s. had come in, for some of the things which were disposed of. One of my fellow-labourers had besides disposed of an article of his own for £1 5s. This £1 19s. enabled us to take in bread as usual, and to defray the other necessary expenses. We had never been lower in means than yesterday and to-day. Yet my soul, thanks to the Lord! was also yesterday and to-day in perfect peace. My helpers seem also quite in peace. This evening I received 2s. 6d., and 11s., with Hcclesiastes ix. 10. This little money is as precious, as at other times £100 would have been, because it is a fresh proof that our Father still cares for us. The money was given to me just after I had been speaking on these words: “But I am poor and needy; yet the Lord thinketh wpon me.” Whilst speaking I was able, in a measure, to realize the preciousness of the truth contained in those words, and after speaking my Father gave me a fresh proof that He is thinking upon me.
November 15th. We are still in deep poverty. Nothing had come in by four o’clock in the afternoon, when I went to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. I did not go in the morning, because I knew that there was everything which was needed till the afternoon. When I came I found there had been supplied that which was absolutely needed for to-day. We are still of
‘good courage. We are sure that the Lord, in His own time, will deliver us out of the trial; for were our poverty more than a trial of faith, had the Lord in anger shut up His hands, we should not receive anything at all. But this is not the case. For even this very day two sacks of potatoes were sent by the same brother who sent twenty sacks a few days since, with the promise to send still more. We have no means to lay in a stock for the winter, else we should have bought, perhaps, fifty or sixty sacks; but our kind Father does it for us.
November 16th. Our prayer was last evening, in particular, respecting the necessities of to-day, as two days’ provisions would be needed, it being Saturday. Besides this, about £2 10s. was needed to pay the weekly salaries of the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day-Schools. For all these demands there was nothing in hand, nor have we any more needless articles to dispose of; and useful ones we do not consider it right to sell, as our Father knows our need. When we met about twelve o’clock this morning, I found that last evening there had been Bibles unexpectedly sold to the amount of £1 11s. 6d., and about 10s. had been given besides. Thus we had nearly enough for the School Fund. Moreover, 15s. had come in for the Orphan Fund. A large sea-chest was given by a brother several months since, for the benefit of the Orphans, which had never been disposed of, and which, in this our great need, was sold for 15s. Yet this 15s. was needed to pay what was due for washing; and, therefore, we had still nothing to take in provisions with. It occurred to one of the labourers, that there might be a little advanced on his watch, of the money which had been laid by for rent, as had once or twice before been done; and that the watch might be sold at quarter-day, in case there should not come in enough to make up the deficiency. Yet even this plan we did not any longer think to be quite scriptural, as he needs the watch in the Lord’s service, and as our Lord is so kind, that He would otherwise send us means, were it well for us. In short, it appeared to us quite clear that, while we ought, in such a strait, to dispose of things which we do not need, nothing ought to be disposed of which is needed, in order that the Lord’s own deliverance might be so much the more manifest. All we could think of for sale was five pewter dishes, which had been given nearly four years ago, but which were never used, as they were not convenient. These we agreed should be sold. About four o’clock this afternoon I received £2 2s., which a brother and sister had brought from Leicestershire. With this I went joyfully to the Orphan-Houses. There I found that 9s. 6d. had come in for the pewter dishes; one of the labourers had given 10s. for the Orphans and 10s. for the School-Fund. We are now brought to the close of one more week. This has been, perhaps, of all the weeks the most trying. So much prayer, and so little coming in, I never knew. Yet, by the grace of God, I was sure that help would come, after the trial of faith was over. During the whole of this week, greatly as we have been tried, and though twice no stock of bread could be taken in, yet there has been nourishing food at every meal, and neither the children nor any other person can have perceived our poverty. About £13 has been spent even this week for housekeeping in the three Orphan-Houses.
November 20th. This has been a day of deep poverty. Nothing but 13s. came in yesterday, which was scarcely enough to meet that day’s usual need. My mind, by the grace of God, was not at all cast down; but I felt it rather trying, that the abundance of my other engagements had not allowed me to meet with my fellow-labourers, either yesterday or to-day, for prayer. This evening I had a note from the Boys’ Orphan-House, to state that a lady had sent two dozen of boys’ shirts, which she had made herself, with which she sent 5s. to get them washed. This 5s. enabled us to meet that which was absolutely needful. Without this 5s. we should have been unable to procure all that was absolutely needed. This our kind Father knew, and therefore He sent it.
November 22nd. Our poverty had now become very great, greater it had never been. Yet, the Lord be praised! I was as comfortable as ever; for I was sure we were only for the trial of our faith in this state. Had the Lord shut up His hand in anger, He would not have continued to give us, even during this week, from time to time, tokens of His care over us. I said this morning: “Man’s extremity is God’s opportunity” is a proverb of the world, and how much more may we, His children, now look to Him:in our great need. I knew we must have help in some way, as now it had come to the greatest extremity, there being in none of the houses anything for dinner, except potatoes, of which we have an abundance. At ten this morning I was informed that a large box had arrived at one of the Orphan-Houses. 1 set off immediately, and found it was from the neighbourhood of Wolverhampton. It contained £12 for the Orphans, £1 11s. 10d. for the other funds, several lengths of dress materials, and numerous trinkets to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans. The joy which I and my fellow-labourers had when these things lay before us, cannot be described; it must be experienced in order that it may be known. It was two hours and a half before the dinner time, when the help was granted. The Lord knew that the Orphans had no dinner, and,€therefore, did He now send help.
December 4th. It has been repeatedly our prayer during the last month and in the beginning of this, that the Lord would be pleased to give us again so much means, before the time of the public meetings, which are fixed for the 10th, 11th, and 12th of this month, that, when we speak about His dealings with us during this year, we might also respecting the close of it have
again to speak to His praise, of the abundance which we had in
hand. At the end of last year we made the same request, and
the Lord granted it. Now to-day, as an answer to this our often
repeated request, I received from the East Indies £100, to be
laid out for the Orphans, or the other objects of the Institution. December 9th, 1839, to December Ith, 1840.
On December 10th, 11th, and 12th, we had public meetings, at which the account of the Lord’s dealings with us in reference to the Orphan-Houses and the other Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution was given.
December 31st. As to my temporal supplies, the Lord has been pleased to give me during the past year, £313 2s. 5d.
January Ist. Our usual meeting last night was most precious! We continued together from seven till half past twelve. Of all the similar meetings which we have had, it was, according to my judgment, by far the best. Not more than five prayed; but there was much more real prayer than at former meetings. — This morning, about one hour after midnight, when our prayer meeting was over, I received a paper with some money sealed up init for the Orphans. A few minutes afterwards I remembered that the individual who gave it was in debt, and I was aware she had been repeatedly asked by her creditors for payment; I resolved therefore, without opening the paper, to return it, as no one has a right to give whilst in debt. This was done when I knew that there was not enough in hand to meet the expenses of the day. About eight this morning a brother brought £5, which he had received just then from his mother, for the Orphans. Observe, the brother was led to bring it at once / The Lord knew our need, and therefore this brother could not delay bringing the money.
January 25th. I have been much in prayer this week about going to Germany: (1) To see certain brethren who purpose to go as missionaries to the Hast Indies; and (2) To see my father once more. I am led to go just now, instead of delaying it, because my health is again so failing, that it seems desirable I should leave Bristol at all events, and thus I could continue to serve in the work of the Lord, and yet attend to the benefit of my health at the same time. Lord, keep me from making a mistake in this matter.
January 31st. Since January 22nd several small donations came in for the Orphans, and several pounds by the sale of silver articles, trinkets, etc. But as I have to pay out to-day £11 13s. we are now again very poor. For many days past we have been so helped, that money has always come in, before all was spent. Now there is only Is. 5d. in hand. The Lord will provide! I feel quite comfortable, though in three days I shall have to leave the work for several weeks — About three hours after I had written the above, came in £1 14s. $d. In the afternoon I
received still further from Tottenham, for the Orphans, £10, and in the evening from Hereford £30, of which latter sum there was £6 for the Orphans, and £24 for the other Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution. Thus the Lord will kindly allow me to leave a little money behind on my departure, and I have also a still further answer to my prayer for means to purchase Bibles, for which I have asked the Lord repeatedly, and which He began to answer by the donation which I received on the 22nd. I have received £5 besides for the other Objects.
February Ist. I have now felt quite sure for several days past, that I should leave Bristol for a season, and go to Germany.
February 2nd. There has come in still further, nearly £9 for the Orphans. How kind of the Lord to send this money just now, on the eve of my leaving home.
February yd. I left for Berlin.
Last Visit to his Father.
I left Berlin on the evening of the 20th for Magdeburg, which I reached on the morning of the 21st, and on the same evening I arrived at my father’s house. — In all human probability I now see my dear father the last time. He is evidently much weaker than he was two years ago, and coughs much more. What has the Lord done for me since I lived in the house where I am now! The two rooms where I am now most in prayer, reading the Word, and confessing His name, were those very rooms in which I sinned most, whilst living here many years ago. I have had again opportunity most fully to bring out the truth about the work of the Lord Jesus before my father, whilst conversing a long time with a woman in his hearing, to whom I showed from the Seriptures, that we are to be saved, not by our own works, but simply by faith in the Lord Jesus, who bore the punishment instead of us, and who fulfilled the law in our room.
February 26th. This morning I left Heimersleben. I took leave of my father most probably for the last time. It has been a great pleasure to me, and I consider it a great privilege, to have been permitted by the Lord once more to see my father, once more personally to show him filial love and regard, and once more to set the truth before him. He has been again during the whole of this my stay most affectionate to me, as he was during my two former visits to him since T left the Continent to reside in England. How cheerfully should I have left him this morning, did I know him to be safe in Jesus! But alas! he as yet is not resting upon Christ, though he is so far religious as to read prayers and the Bible.
Brother Kroll received me with much affection. When this brother first came to Sandersleben in 1829, there was scarcely a single true Christian besides his master in the little town. Soon afterwards he began to hold meetings, which were attended by the two or three who loved the Lord Jesus. These meetings
were for a long time suffered to go on quietly; but when the Lord blessed them, and others were stirred up to care for their souls, brother Kroll had to appear before the magistrates, and was forbidden to hold them. When this was of no effect (as he considered that he ought only to obey earthly rulers in things in which he could do so with a good conscience), and they continued still to meet together; the police came into one of their meetings, and forced them to discontinue it. When even this availed nothing, the brethren were finally threatened that every one who attended these meetings should pay three thalers, and every one who read or spoke at them should pay five, which is a large sum in Germany for poor people. But notwithstanding all these obstacles, the few poor saints continue their meetings, but in secret, to be unmolested by the police. They have now neither a stated place nor a fixed time for their meetings.
Runs the risk of Imprisonment for Preaching.
On the second and third evenings, whilst I was at Sandersleben, I met with them. On the second evening we were in the room of a poor weaver. The dear brethren would have me sit on the only chair which was in the room. It was a very small room, perhaps twice as large as the loom which was in it. There were about twenty-five or thirty persons present, many of whom had seated themselves in and under the loom, and the rest sat on two or three little forms. These meetings were very precious. The very fact of going to them with the feeling of having to pay the fine, or to suffer an adequate imprisonment, should one be found there, makes them to be doubly valued; and I believe that the Lord’s double blessing rests upon them. I spoke long both times; indeed, as long as I had strength, and the dear people seemed to eat the Word. — I have so circumstantially related these facts, that thereby the children of God in Great Britain may be led more highly to value their religious privileges, and to make good use of them whilst they are continued.
March 9th. I arrived this evening in peace at Bristol, and found my dearest wife and all in peace. Truly, the Lord has abundantly blessed me and them while I have been from home.
During the whole time of my absence the Lord not only supplied all the need of the Orphans, but on my return I found more in hand than there was when I left. The donations, which came in during my absence, amount to between £80 and £90.
March 22nd. To-day, when there was not a penny in hand for the Orphans, I received the following donations: £3 as the produce of the sate of ladies’ baskets, an old crown piece, an old half-crown piece, and a Spanish dollar. Also 1s. With Eccles. ix. 10, was given £2 10s.
March 25th. All money was now again given out, when there came in by sale of Reports 8s. 9d., and in small donations £1 5s. 11d.
Declines to disclose State of Funds.
March 26th. On the 17th I received the following letter, from a brother who several times helped us: and who also two months since sent £30.
“I have received a little money from — — . Have you any present need for the Institution under your care? I know you do not ask, except indeed of Him whose work you are doing; but to answer when asked seems another thing, and a right thing. I have a reason for desiring to know the present state of your means towards the objects you are labouring to serve, viz., should you not have need, other departments of the Lord’s work, or other people of the Lord, may have need. Kindly then inform me, and to what amount, i.e., what amount you at this present time need, or can profitably lay out.”
At the time when this letter came, we were indeed in need, or at least it was desirable, as far as I had light, to have means, as I was just on the point of establishing an Infant-School, and as again Bibles were needed in order to go on with the circulation of the Scriptures. Also in the Orphan-Fund there was only 2s. 34d. Nevertheless I considered that, as I have hitherto acted (i.e., telling the Lord alone about our need), I ought to continue to do, as otherwise the principal object of the work, to be a help to the saints generally, by seeking to lead them to increased dependance upon God alone, through this Institution, would be frustrated. I answered therefore the letter, in substance, as follows:
“Whilst I thank you for your loye, and whilst I agree with you that in general, there is a difference between asking for money, and answering when asked, nevertheless in our case I feel not at liberty to speak about the state of our funds, as the primary object of the work in my hands is, to lead those who are weak in faith to see that there is reality in dealing with God alone.”
After having sent off the answer I was again and again led to pray to the Lord in this way: ‘Lord, thou knowest that for Thy sake I did not tell this brother about our need. Now Lord, show afresh that there is reality in speaking to Thee only about our need, and speak therefore to this brother, so that He may help us.”
To-day, in answer to this my request, this brother sent £100, of which sum I shall take £20 for the Orphans, and £20 for each of the other Objects. Thus I have means for establishing the Infant-School, and for ordering more Bibles. Also the Orphans are again supplied for a week; for when the money came in there was not one penny in hand for them.
Death of his Father. April 7th. This evening I received information from my little half-brother that my dear father died on March 30th.
He was taken worse a few days after I left him. How kind of the Lord to have allowed me once more to see him! Had I gone to Germany at the time I first intended, he would most likely not have been alive to see me. — As I know not of one believer in the whole town where he lived, I cannot for a certainty ascertain anything about his state before his death; but that which I do know gives me no proof of his having died in the faith of Christ. As to myself, I am sure of this, that it becomes me to adore that wonderful grace which plucked me as a brand out of the burning, and to say in reference to my dear departed father: * Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?”’ and in submission to the will of God to be satisfied with His dealings. This, through grace, I am able to do. Every true believer who. has unconverted parents, for whose spiritual welfare he is concerned, can understand what joy it would have been to me to have heard a satisfactory account of a true change of heart in my dear father before his end; but as it has been otherwise, I know nevertheless that God will be eternally glorified even in this dispensation. During no period did I pray more frequently or more earnestly for the conversion of my dear aged parent, than during the last year of his life; but, at all events, it did not please the Lord to let me see the answer to my prayers.
April 27th. Monday. The Lord knew that we were penniless, and should be in need of fresh supplies to-day for the Orphans, therefore He moved the hearts of some of His children to remember us, in answer to our prayer. Yesterday I received with Keeles. ix. 10, £5, and 10s. from a sister who had lent this sum to some one, but never expected it again; and now, having unexpectedly received it, gave it to the Lord for the Orphans. For the rent of the Orphan-Houses there came in £1 10s. There was 2s. 6d. put anonymously into the box at Bethesda, and also £1. This morning I was informed that £5 had been sent to the Infant Orphan-House. Thus the Lord has given for our need £13 2s. 6d.
May 2nd. Nothing having come in for five days, we were to-day again penniless. In answer to prayer, 5s. 6d. came in, and some trinkets were sent; what these were the donor does not wish to be known. Thus we were helped through this day. — Observe here, how the Lord allowed five days to pass away without influencing the hearts of any to send us supplies; but the moment there is real need, the stream runs again.
May 4th. By what came in yesterday, we were supplied for to-day; but the Lord sent to-day still more, as that which came in yesterday was only enough for to-day. There was given in money £7, of which £3 was the profit on the sale of ladies’ baskets, which are made by some sisters in the Lord for the benefit of the Orphans.
Last evening a brother was baptized, who on the first Lord’s day of this year came with his intended wife to Bethesda Chapel.
Both were in an unconverted state. They both were at the same meeting, through what brother Craik said, made to feel the power of the truth, and, in consequence, were led to Jesus and found peace in Him, and are now both in communion with us. — The Lord still condescends to use us as instruments. ‘To-day we conversed with seven persons about fellowship, and had to send away five, being worn out after we had seen the seven, one after the other. Only since April Ist, forty-one#persons have come to us to speak about their souls. May the Lord in mercy give us helpers in the work, for truly the harvest is great; and may not our ingratitude for His abundant blessing upon our labours oblige Him to shut up His hands from continuing to use us!
May 6th. This evening I received £10 for the Orphans, and £10 for the Infant School, which we are on the point of opening. Before our little stock is quite exhausted, the Lord has thus kindly sent a fresh supply. Thus also my prayer is answered in being able to give to two of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses some money for their personal expenses.
May 8th. There are four believers staying at my house, and to-day we had only a few shillings of our own money left. I gave myself, therefore, to prayer for means for our own personal expenses. In answer to my request, I received this morning £5,
May 16th. The need of to-day, as we were again penniless, led us to open the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, in which £2 Os. 2d. was found. There was given 5s. besides. In the evening came in still further a sovereign from a sister, a servant, with the following lines: “The Lord has put it into my heart to send a sovereign to the Orphans. He indeed put it into my heart, which was once at enmity with God, and would have said, lay a by, you may want rt when you are old; but then I could not look towards heaven and say, I know my Heavenly Father will supply all my need; neither could I say: ‘Abba, Father, for I knew Him not.”
May 27th. This morning the Last coaLs were used in the Infant Orphan-House, and in the Boys’ Orphan-House there were ONLY ENOUGH FOR To-DAy, and there was no money in hand to buy more. In this our need T. P. C. sent a load of coals. How kind of the Lord! A plain proof that not in displeasure, but only for the trial of our faith we are allowed to be so poor.
Evening. The Lord has had mercy! A person bought some days since several articles, which had been given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and owed £6 15s. This morning I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring the money, or a part of it, as we were in such need. Just as I was going to meet for prayer with my fellow-labourers this afternoon, he came and brought £4. But our kind Father showed us still further to-day that only for the trial of our faith He had for a season withheld supplies; for there was given this evening with Eccles. ix. 10,
£5. But there is one thing more to be recorded respecting this day, as precious or more so than what hasybeenssaid: I was to-day informed that the Lord has begun to stir up several of the boys to care about their souls.
June 17th. Only 4s. has come in, by children’s needlework. This ig all we have, to meet the need of to-day, except 2s. 6d., which I found in the box in my house, which our poverty led me to open. LHvening. The Lord has had mercy upon us. A sister, to whom some time since some money was left, and whom the Lord has made willing to lay it all out in His service, having received a small part of what is coming to her, brought £5 10s. 6d. of it this afternoon for the Orphans. There came in still further this evening £2.
For several days past I had been very poor in reference to my own temporal necessities, as well as in reference to the Orphans. To-day we were especially poor, in both respects; but our kind Father remembered not merely the need of the dear Orphans, but gave me also some money for my own personal expenses. The same sister just referred to, who brought £5 10s. 6d. for the Orphans, brought me also £7 for myself.
June 22nd. To-morrow, the Lord willing, I purpose, with my wife, to accompany to Liverpool three German brethren and the five German sisters, who purpose to sail from thence for India. Under these circumstances, it is desirable to leave at least a little money behind. This desire of my heart the Lord has granted; for this morning D. C. gave me £5. In the evening a sister, who has left Bristol to-day, sent me by her mother £5, having particularly requested her to let me have the money to-day, as she knew that I was going away to-morrow.
This evening we had a special missionary prayer meeting, at which the brethren and sisters were commended to the Lord.
June 23rd. This morning we left for Liverpool, where we safely arrived in the evening.
On July 2nd, I accompanied the German brethren and sisters to the vessel. Just before they went on board, brother — - — — , one of the missionary brethren, gave me £6 10s. for the Orphans. He had sold his plate while at Bristol, considering that, as a servant of Jesus Christ, and as one who desired to preach Jesus to the poor Hindoos, he needed it not. This money was the produce of it, except about £2, which he had spent in purchasing a few books. In giving it to me he said, “The money which we have in the common stock (being altogether £20 for the eight) is enough for us. For some months, while we are on board, we need no money at all, whilst you may lay it out; and when we need more, the Lord will again supply our need. The other brethren and sisters have no money of their own, and I desire likewise to have none. The Lord has laid the Orphans particularly on my heart, and therefore you must not refuse to accept it.” — This brother little knew how on that very day I had been repeatedly asking the Lord for means. Truly this was one of the most remarkable ways of obtaining money, as it came from a poor German missionary, who, in dependance upon the Lord for his temporal supplies, went to the East Indies. I sent off at once £5 of this money to Bristol.
On July 4th I received the following letter from Bristol, dated July yd: —
“My dear Brother, — The last account I sent you left us in the greatest poverty. We had sufficient, it is true, for the time then present; but there was no money to take in bread with. In the afternoon there was an old riding habit sent for the Orphans, which I sold this morning for 7s. I also sold a few books for 5s., two old silver thimbles and a ring for Is. 6d.; besides this, 1s. 6d. was sent for Reports; making in all 15s. This purchased dinner for the three houses. At twelve o’clock we met for prayer. We were indeed in great need. There was no money either for bread or milk. The coals in all the three houses were used, and in every other respect the stores were in a low state. We had really wanted nothing, but there was scarcely anything left. Well, while we were in prayer to God, your letter came. One of the sisters opened the door and received it, and after prayer it was given to me. You will be able to conceive the greatness of our joy, on opening it, and finding it to contain £5. I cannot express how much I felt. During the trial I had been much comforted by the Lord sending a little token of his love every day. It just proved that He was mindful of us in our poverty, and that, when His time was come, He would send us an abundance. I think we all felt your absence a little, although not cast down on that account. Money is very precious to those who, like us, so evidently see the HAND and HEART of our Heavenly Father in bestowing it. The sisters send their love to you.
“Your affectionate brother,
oe RB: Be’
On July 17th I returned to Bristol.
August 13th. Yesterday there was given a collection of shells which was sold to-day, and supplied the necessities of this day, with an addition of 10s. which a brother gave last evening, and 4s, was taken out of the box in the Infants’ Orphan-House.
August 15th. There was to-day the greatest poverty in all the three houses; all the stores were very low, as the income throughout the week had been so small. In addition to this it was Saturday, when the wants are nearly double, in comparison with other days. At least £3 was needed to help us comfortably through the day; but there was nothing towards this in hand. My only hope was in God. The very necessity led me to expect help for this day; for if none had come, the Lord’s name would have been dishonoured. Between twelve and one two sisters
in the Lord called on me, and the one gave me £2, and the other 7s. 6d. for the Orphans. With this I went to the Boys’ Orphan-House about one o’clock, where I found the children at dinner. Brother B. put the following note into my hand, which he was just going to send off:
“Dear Brother, — With potatoes from the children’s garden, and with apples from the tree in the play-ground (which apples were used for apple dumplings), and 4s. 6d. the price of some articles given by one of the labourers, we have a dinner. There is much needed. But the Lord has provided and will provide.”
There came in still further this day, by sale of Reports, Is., by the box in the Girls’ Orphan-House, Is., by children’s needlework, 6s. 6d., by a donation of one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses, 6s. Thus we had this day £3 6s. 6d. to meet all necessities, and are brought to the close of another week.
August 20th. To- day there was not enough money in hand to meet all the demands; but it being known that yesterday several persons had put money into the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, they were opened, and found to contain £1 4s. 6d., which was more than sufficient. I would call upon the believing reader to admire the love and wisdom and power of God in ordering it, that persons should come to the Orphan-Houses just at the time when there is temporal pressure, and should be influenced to put money into the boxes. These little sums have been often the means of helping us in our greatest need.
August 23rd. Lord’s-day. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is again now. After the Lord has tried our faith, He, in the love of His heart, gives us an abundance, to show that not in anger, but for the glory of His name, and for the trial of our faith, He has allowed us to be poor. This morning I received from an aged and afflicted servant, £3; and a little afterwards £8 from Q. Q. From another servant 5s.; also 2s. was put anonymously into the box at Bethesda, besides the £1 10s. for rent. Thus the Lord has kindly given to-day £12 17s.
August 29th. Saturday. For many weeks past very little has come in for the other funds. The chief supply has been by the sale of Bibles. Last Saturday I was not able to pay the whole of the weekly salaries of the teachers in the Day Schools, which, however, does not make me a debtor to them, as it is an understood thing, that they have not to look to me for payment, but to the Lord. To-day again only 2s. was in hand, whilst several pounds were needed to pay the salaries. It appeared now plainly to be the will of the Lord that, as all the labourers in the Orphan-Houses know about the state of the funds, so the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools should share the trial of faith and the joy of faith with us. Accordingly we all met, and after I had laid on their hearts the importance of keeping to themselves, for the Lord’s sake, the state of the funds, we prayed together.
August 30th. Lord’s-day. To-day the Lord has again bountifully opened His hand for the Orphans. There came in with Keclesiastes ix. 10, £5; from a sister, a servant, 10s.; and for rent £1 10s. Besides this, 10s. 3d. and 2s. 6d. were anonymously put into the box at Bethesda.
September 5th. Saturday. Because there had come in so little during the last days, at least £3 was requisite to supply the need of to-day. There was, however, not one penny in hand when the day commenced. Last evening the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, together with the teachers of the Day-Schools, met for prayer. This morning one of the teachers, who had a little money of his own, brought £1 5s. 6d. Thus, as we had hoped, we were enabled to provide for the dinner. In the afternoon all of us met again for prayer. Another teacher of the Day Schools gave 2s. 6d., and Is. came in besides. But all this was not enough. There was no dinner provided for to-morrow, nor was there any money to take in milk to-morrow, and, besides this, a number of other little things were to be purchased, that there might be no real want of anything. Now observe how our kind Father helped us! Between seven and eight this evening a sister, whose heart the Lord has made willing to take on her the service of disposing of the articles which are sent for sale, brought £2 10s. 6d. for some things which came a fortnight ago from Worcester, and last Wednesday from Leeds. The sister stated, that though she did not feel at all well, she had come because she had it so laid on her heart, that she could not stay away.
A precious Secret.
September 8th. How kindly has the Lord so ordered it that, for some time past the income for the School-fund should have been so little, in order that thus we might be constrained to let the labourers in the Day Schools share our joys and our trials of faith, which had been before kept from them! But as above two years ago the Lord ordered it so that it became needful to communicate to the labourers in the Orphan-Houses the state of the funds, and made it a blessing to them, so that I am now able to leave Bristol, and yet the work goes on, so, I doubt not, the brethren and sisters who are teachers in the Day Schools will be greatly blessed by being thus partakers of our precious secret respecting the state of the funds.
September 9th. Hvening. About twelve this morning a brother, a stranger, who is staying near Bristol, came with some of his family to the Orphan-Houses. While brother B. was for a few moments out of the room to fetch a key, the visiting brother took the opportunity of secretly putting something into the box at the Boys’ Orphan-House. Brother B., however, perceived it before he could get away from the box, and, the brother being gone, our great need brought it out, when it was found to be £5.
Thus the Lord kindly has provided for the need of to-day and to-morrow. When this money was given we were exceedingly poor. For not only would there have been no means to take in the usual quantity of bread in one of the houses, but there was no money to take in milk in the afternoon in any of the houses. The Lord knew our need, and therefore just now sent this brother.
September 11th. The Lord has sent in still further and more richly for the Orphans. This morning £1 was given to me which had been sent from Trowbridge, and this afternoon a brother who came from Scotland gave me £10, and brought several trinkets. In the afternoon came in £3 by sale of articles.
September 12th. The Lord has sent in still more. This morning there was sent £10 through a banker in London, by the order of a sister at Worcester; and 10s. was put into the box at my house. This has been a week of peculiar mercies, as above £40 has been sent in, besides several articles. We have continued to meet for prayer every morning, from seven to eight.
September 16th. Though during the last week above £40 came in, yet, because the usual expenses for housekeeping were about £15, and because most of the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses had not had for a long time any money for their own personal necessities, we were the day before yesterday again so poor, that only a few shillings were left. The Lord, knowing this, sent in a little money, and, by a sister from the Isle of Wight, 7 rings, 2 brooches, 2 pins, 1 pair of ear-rings, 2 pairs of studs, all of gold.
September 21st. To-day a brother from the neighbourhood of London gave me £10, to be laid out as it might be most needed. As we have been praying many days for the School, Bible, and Missionary Funds, I took it all for them. This brother knew nothing about our work, when he came three days since to Bristol. Thus the Lord, to show His continued care over us, raises up new helpers. They that trust in the Lord shall never be confounded! Some who helped for a while may fall asleep in Jesus; others may grow cold in the service of the Lord; others may be as desirous as ever to help, but have no longer the means; others may have both a willing heart to help, and have also the means, but may see it the Lord’s will to lay them out in another way ; — and thus, from one cause or another, were we to lean upon man, we should surely be confounded; but, in leaning upon the Living God alone, we are BEYOND disappointment, and BEYOND being forsaken because of death, or want of means, or want of love, or because of the claims of other work. How precious to have learned in any-measure to stand with God alone in the world, and yet to be happy, and to know that surely no good thing shall be withheld from us whilst we walk uprightly.
September 25th. Itisnowhalf-pasteleven. Nothing has come in as yet. How the Lord will help us through the day is not my care; for sure I am He will help. I am just going to meet with my fellow-labourers for prayer. Perhaps the Lord will again, at the time of the meeting, fill our mouths with praise, as He has done so many times. My soul waits on Him for deliverance! How truly precious to have such a Father as we have!
September 26th. When I went yesterday to the meeting for prayer, I found that some articles, which had come from Leeds, had been sold for 10s. 9d., and that 2s. 6d. had been taken out of the box in the Girls’ Orphan-House. To this one of the labourers added 10s. of his own. This £1 3s. 3d. supplied all we needed yesterday; but there was now again nothing in hand to meet this day’s demands, which I knew would be great, on account of its being Saturday. The Lord, however, remembered our Saturday’s necessities, and therefore sent in abundantly, so that we had even more than we needed for to-day, though we required no less than £5. The Lord sent in altogether £8 18s. 14d. in the course of the day, whilst it commenced without there being a penny in hand.
October 2nd. Nothing came in yesterday, nor this morning. In addition to this, I was so engaged, that in the afternoon I had not even time to make enquiry how the Lord had helped. Thus it is often that I can do nothing but quietly go on with my engagements, casting all care upon the Lord. When I came home this evening, the first thing that met my eyes was the following letter from a distance of many miles:
“Beloved Brother, — Five pounds are enclosed as from the Lord, as I believe you stand in need of it for the use of the Orphans. Yours affectionately, F.W.”
Truly, the Lord, to whom we had spoken yesterday, had spoken for us, and told this brother that we were in need of money. After having read this letter, my eyes met two others. In the one I was informed by a brother, that he had sold two pairs of fire-screens for 8s., and had sent the money. These screens had been for many months in his hands for sale, and now to-day, in this our poverty, a lady came to the shop and bought them. The other letter was from brother B., master of the boys in the Boys’ Orphan-House, which I give here:
“I opened the boxes and found 4s. 14d. in them. This was far from being sufficient. About four o’clock three persons came to the Orphan-Houses, and put into the box at the Boys’ Orphan-House 7s., into the box at the Infants’ Orphan-House 6s., and into the box at the Girls’ Orphan-House 7s. Thus I have had in all to divide £1 4s. 14d., which meets the necessities of the day.”
October 7th. There came in £1 14s. 2d. to-day in small donations.
It is now five weeks since we have daily met for prayer. The Lord gave us grace to “‘ continue in prayer,” and kept our hearts in the assurance that He would help. Now, though He delayed
long, before He sent us the answer, in His own time He made it manifest, that He had not only not shut His ear against our prayers in anger, but that He had answered them even before we called; for there was sent to-day, from the East Indies, a bank order for £100, which had been sent off two months since, therefore several days before we even began to pray. It was left to me to apply this money as it might be needed. As we had so long and so particularly prayed for the School, Bible and Missionary funds, I took the whole of it for them.
October 20th. Tuesday. During these last three days we have again experienced the continued care of our loving Father on behalf of the Orphans. On Saturday evening, when again there was no money at all remaining in my hands, a pair of silver-mounted horns was anonymously left at my house. On the Lord’s-day I received £6 1s. Yesterday the Lord sent in still more abundantly; for in the morning came in £12, and in the evening £2 was given to me by D. C. This morning, a few minutes after I had been thinking that no potatoes had been sent yet for the Orphans, and that we had no money to lay in a stock, a brother came and informed me that he had given orders that twenty sacks of good potatoes should be sent to the Orphan-Houses. Thus our kind Father continually cares for us.
November 8th. Lord’s-day. To-day the Lord has been again very kind, and looked upon us in our poverty. Besides the £1 10s. for rent, I received with Ecclesiastes ix. 10, £5. I was also informed that two large sacks of oatmeal had been sent from Glasgow as a present. In addition to all this, a brother told me that he had it in his heart to give £10 worth of materials, for winter clothes for the children, leaving the material to my choice, according to the need, so that just what was most desirable might be given. There was also 1s. put into the box at Bethesda, with the words, ‘‘ Jehovah Jireh.” These words have often been refreshing to my soul for many years past, and I wrote them with a valuable diamond. ring, set with ten brilliants, which was given to the Orphans, upon a pane of glassin my room, which circumstance, in remembrance of the remarkable way in which that valuable ring came, has often cheered my heart, when in deep poverty my eyes have been cast upon “JeHoVAH JIREH” (i.e. the Lord will provide) whilst sitting in my room.
November 19th. Since September 18th, 1838, this has been, perhaps, of all the days the most trying. The poverty has been exceedingly great for the last six days. There had come in no money since yesterday. On this account no bread could be taken in, as far as the natural prospect went. Nor was there any money at three in the afternoon to take in milk for tea, when brother B. came to me. However, we prayed together, and the Lord had mercy. For one of the labourers found that he was able, which he knew not before, to give of his own 10s., so that there were the means to take in the milk, by the time it is usually brought. This evening about six there came in still further 10s. 3d., by the sale of Reports. Thus, by the good hand of our God upon us, we were able to take in bread as usual. How very kind of the Lord that He sent us an abundance of potatoes and two large sacks of oatmeal, before this season of deep poverty, as to pecuniary means, commenced! May the Lord now mm great pity look upon us, for we are in deeper poverty than ever, as with every day it increases, whilst there is no full deliverance. Thanks be to the Lord that my mind has been in peace this day also, though our faith has been so very much tried! Thanks to Him that my mind is in peace now, though there is nothing but want on every side before me, respecting to-morrow! Surely, the Lord will again, in His own time, more fully stretch forth His helping hand!
November 20th. Nothing more had come in this morning. It was nearly three o’clock this afternoon, when brother B. called on me, to see whether anything had come in; but I had received nothing. I was obliged to go out with a brother from Devonshire, and therefore requested him to wait till I returned. About a quarter past three I came back, when, among several persons who were waiting at my house to converse with me, there was a sister whom I much desired to see about some church affair. I did so. When I had ended the conversation with her, about half-past three, she gave me £10 for the Orphans. More sweet, and more needed, were none of the previous deliverances. Language cannot express the real joy in God which Thad. J was jree from excitement. The circumstance did not unfit me even for a single moment to attend to my other engagements. T was not in the least surprised, because, by grace, my soul had been waiting on God for deliverance. Never had help been so long delayed. In none of the houses was milk for tea, and in one even no bread, and there was no money to purchase either. It was only a few minutes before the milkman came, when brother B. arrived at the Orphan-Houses with the money. Yet even now it was more than an hour before the usual tea time. The Lord be praised for this deliverance! Such a week of deep poverty as we have had since November 13th, we never had before. Yet, thanks to the Lord! we have lacked nothing, and we have been kept from dishonouring Him by unbelief.
November 27th. This morning I received £4 from a sister in Dublin, before we were really in need; but this donation came very seasonably to meet the large demands of to-morrow, Saturday, for which there is nothing in hand. There was also taken out of the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, this afternoon, £2 12s. 6d.
December 5th. Saturday morning. Yesterday afternoon a sister left two sovereigns at my house for the Orphans. The Lord, in the love of His heart, remembered our Saturday’s necessities, and sent in this supply; for there was only 18s. 6d.
in hand when this money came, and £2 12s. is needed for this day. Evening. As there was now again only 6s. 6d. in hand, I gave myself to prayer, and immediately ajter I had risen from my knees, £1 5s. 6d. was given to me, for things which had been sold, being chiefly articles which had been sent from Stafford.
December 9th. Morning. This is the last day of the fifth year of the Orphan work. Hitherto the Lord has helped us! This morning there was only £1 Is. 9d. in hand, but £1 7s. was needed for the supply of to-day. I therefore opened the box in my house, in which 2s. 6d. was found. This £1 4s. 3d. I sent off to the Orphan-Houses. Hvening. There came in during this day £1 6s. 6d.; out of this I had to pay away £1 2s., so that now, at the close of the year, though the balance amounts to £15 0s. 64d. there is only 4s. 64d. in hand, as the rest has been put by for the rent which is due up to this time. With this 4s. 64d. we have now to commence the sixth year, leaning upon the Living God, who most assuredly during this year also will help us in every way, as our circumstances may call for it.
This way of living brings the Lord remarkably near. He is, as it were, morning by morning inspecting our stores, that accordingly He may send help. Greater and more manifest nearness of the Lord’s presence I have never had, than when alter breakfast there were no means for dinner, and then the Lord provided the dinner for more than one hundred persons; or when, after dinner, there were no means for tea, and yet the Lord provided the tea, and all this without one single human being having been informed about our need. This, moreover, I add, that although we, who have been eye-witnesses of these gracious interpositions of our Father, have not been so benefited by them as we might and ought to have been, yet we have, in some measure, derived blessing from them. One thing is certain, that we are not tired of doing the Lord’s work in this way.
December Ith, 1840, to May 10th, 1842.
December 12th. Only 4s. had come in to meet this day’s necessities. Thus we should not have had sufficient means to provide for the dinner in the Girls’ Orphan-House, had not 6s. come in this morning, just in time to help us through the difficulty. Still we had no means to buy bread, and a few other little things which were needed. In addition to all this it was Saturday, and therefore provisions for two days needed to be procured. About four o’clock this afternoon, one of the sisters in the Orphan-Houses, to whom I had some days since sent a little money for her own personal necessities, gave £1. Thus we were able to purchase sufficient provisions to last till breakfast on Monday morning. These last days have been very trying. The poverty has been greater than ever; the Lord, however, has not confounded us, but has strengthened our faith, and always given us necessaries.
December 14th. Though £2 10s. had come in yesterday, there was still not sufficient this morning to buy coals in the Boys’ and Girls’ Orphan Houses. But the Lord kindly supplied us with means for that also; for there were given to-day six silver teaspoons, and a pair of silver sugar-tongs. I received also £1 10s., which yesterday had been anonymously given for rent. This evening was the first of our public meetings, at which I gave the account of the Lord’s dealings with us in regard to this work, during the last year. It was a good season. I felt much assisted by the Lord, and was, through grace, very happy, so that none of those who were present can have read in my countenance that I have nothing at all in hand towards the supply of the necessities of to-morrow. After the meeting this evening 23d. was left anonymously at my house.
December 15th. The day commenced with 23d. in hand. My eyes were directed to the Living God. I was looking out for help. The greatness of our need led me to expect it. About eleven o’clock I received from Barnstaple a £5 note and half-a-sovereign. Thus the Lord in His faithful love delivered us. Half an hour afterwards I had the report from the Orphan-Houses about the state of things to-day, which will show how seasonably the money from Barnstaple came. Brother R. B., master at the Boys’ Orphan-House, wrote that there was never less bread in the Orphan-Houses at any time than this morning, and that both in the Boys’ and Infants’ Orphan-Houses all bread had been cut up for use.
December 19th. Only lls. 2d. has come in since the day before yesterday. As I had to pay out to-day £6 10s., it being Saturday, we have now again only 5s. 9d. left, which is just enough to meet the expense of a parcel, the arrival of which has been announced.
December 20th. The Lord has again sent in rich supplies. He remembered that there was nothing in hand for the Orphans, and that we, who care for them, desire, through grace, not to be anxiously concerned about the morrow. There came in to-day altogether £6 1’s.
December 31st. The Lord has been pleased to send me this year for my temporal necessities £242 8s. 114d.
January Ist. Since December 20th there has come in not only as much as was needed, but more. During this week we have daily met for prayer, for the special purpose of asking the Lord to give us the means for having the last year’s Report printed. It is three weeks since it might have been sent to the press. We felt this now to be a matter of special importance, as, if the Report were not soon printed, it would be known that it arose from want of means. By the donations which came in during these last days for the Orphans, and by £10 which was given
to-day for the other funds, we have the means of defraying the expenses of about two-thirds of the printing, and therefore a part of the manuscript was sent off, trusting that the Lord would be pleased to send in more means before two sheets are printed off; but, if not, we should then stop till we have more. — Hvening. There came in still further £5; and also 10s., and 3s.
January 11th. Monday. During the last week the Lord not only supplied us richly with all we needed for the Orphans, but enabled us to put by several pounds towards printing the Report. On Saturday evening there was only 3s. 6d. left. On this account I was looking out for answers to my prayers for means, and the Lord did not disappoint me. There came in altogether yesterday £9 16s. dd. We have now enough even for the last part of the Report. Thus the Lord has been pleased to answer our prayers in this respect also. This afternoon when there was only 2s. 6d. in hand, there came in by sale of articles £3 9s. 6d., and by a donation £5.
January 13th. This morning I had again nob one penny in hand for the Orphans, though there was enough for to-day at the Orphan-Houses, as I had sent yesterday sufficient for two days. The little stock being exhausted, I had been led to the Lord in prayer for fresh supplies, when soon afterwards a brother called on me, and stated that, in considering the necessities of the poor, on account of the cold season, the Orphans had likewise been brought to his mind, and that he had brought me £15 for them. This afternoon there came in still further £1 from two sisters, as a thank-offering for many mercies during the past year. hikewise £10 “From a friend in Christ for the Orphans’-House.” Altogether the Lord has been pleased to send in this day £30 2s. 3d., whilst, when the day commenced, I had nothing at all in hand.
January 23rd. This day commenced without anything in hand. In addition to this it was Saturday. About nine o’clock Q. Q. called to see me, but, as I was in prayer with my family she did not stay. About half an hour afterwards she called a second time, and gave £5 for the Orphans, and said, “I bring this because it is Saturday, and it may be needed.” This sister was not deterred by not seeing me the first time, because our Father knew we had need of this money.
February 13th. Saturday morning. The Lord sent in yesterday £1 15s., which, though not enough for this day, was a little to commence with. Hvening. Scarcely had I sent off this morning the £1 15s. to the Orphan-Houses, when I received from Clapham £9 6s. 6d. and 6 yards of calico for the Orphans, so that £1 more, which was needed to meet this day’s demands, could be supplied.
We are very poor in reference to the funds for the other Objects, and have now determined to meet daily for prayer, till the Lord may be pleased to send help.
There are now four sisters in the Lord staying at our house. This morning we had only 2s. left of our own money, when there was sent to us for ourselves, from Clapham, a sovereign and 2lIbs. of tea; and from Manchester 5s. worth of postage stamps. Thus the Lord has kindly helped us for the present.
February 14th. The Lord has had pity, and helped us in some measure. A brother gave me £5 for the first four Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
March 4th. From February 22nd up to this day our necessities in the Day-Schools were supplied by thirteen small donations, and by a donation of £8 from Q. Q. To-day I received £15 from A. B. When this arrived there was not one penny in hand for the Day Schools, whilst two days later about £7 would be needed. As the money was not given for any particular part of the work, it was put to this fund. There was also only £2 in the Orphan fund. This money came from a considerable distance, and from a brother who never had assisted in this work before, whereby the Lord afresh shows how easily He can raise up new helpers.
March 19th. I have been for some time again very weak in body, on account of which it appeared to me desirable to take a change. To-day I had fully determined to leave, as I am now exceedingly weak; but we had no means for it. This morning there was given to me a cheque for £15, of which £5 is for brother Craik, £5 for myself, and £5 for the Orphans. Thus my way, even as to means, is made quite plain.
March 20th. Nailsworth. When I came here to-day, and heard about the state of the saints here and in the neighbourhood, I could not but think that the Lord had sent me to this place to labour for a season.
March 22nd. Truly God has sent me here! Certain matters, which have been brought to light through my being here, prove it. May the Lord make it still more abundantly plain that He has sent me here!
How to obiain Certain Knowledge of Forgiveness of Sins.
A sister in the Lord in Ireland, who did not see her acceptance before God, and who was habitually without the assurance that she is a child of God, that she is born again, that her sins are forgiven, and that she will be saved, in her distress of mind wrote to me about this time. As her case is by no means a solitary one, but as there are so many children of God who do not know that they are children of God; as there are so many whose sins are forgiven who do not know that they are forgiven; and as there are so many who will be saved, who do not know that they will be saved, and who are continually afraid of what would become of them were they to be taken out of the world; I have thought it well to say something here on this most important subject.
Question. How may I obtain the knowledge that I am a child of God, or that I am born again, or that my sins are forgiven, or that I shall not perish, but have everlasting life?
Answer. Not by my feelings, not by a dream, not by my experience being like this or that one’s, or unlike this or that one’s; but this matter is to be settled, as all other spiritual matters, entirely by the revealed will of God, the written Word of God, which is the only rule, the only standard for believers.
Question. By what passages, then, for instance, may I make out that I am a child of God, or born again?
In Galatians ii. 26, it is written: “Ye are all the children of God by faith in Christ Jesus.” The question is: Do I believe in the Lord Jesus? Do I depend upon Him alone for the salvation of my soul? If so, 1 am a child of God, whether I feel it or not.
In John i. 11-13, it is written of the Lord Jesus: ‘“‘ He came unto His own, and His own received Him not. But as many as received Him, to them gave He power (or the right or the privilege) to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on His name; which were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God.” The question here again is simply this, Have I received the Lord Jesus, 7.e., Do I believe in His name? If so, I am born of God, I am a child of God, else I should never have believed in the Lord Jesus; for none but the children of God do believe in Him.
Question. How may I know that my sins are forgiven? Have I to wait till I feel that they are forgiven, before I may take comfort concerning this matter? Or, must I wait till I have in some powerful way a portion of the Word of God applied to my mind, to assure me of it?
Answer. This point is again only to be settled by the Word of God. We have not to wait till we feed that our sins are forgiven. — I myself have now been a believer for more than nineteen years (7.e. in the year 1845). How long it is, since I have had no doubt whatever about the forgiveness of my sins, I cannot tell with certainty; but of this I am quite sure, that ever since I have been in England, which is now about sixteen years. (in 1845), I have never once had a single moment’s doubt that my sins are all forgiven; and yet I do not remember that I ever once have felt that they were forgiven. To know that they are forgiven, and to feel that they are forgiven, are two different things — — The way to settle, whether our sins are forgiven, is, to refer to the Word of God alone with reference to it. In Acts x. 43, it is written concerning the Lord Jesus, “Zo Him give all the prophets witness, that through His name whosoever believeth in Him shall receive remission of sins.” All the prophets, speaking under the immediate power of the Holy Spirit, bore testimony that through the obedience and sufierings of the Lord Jesus, whereby He becomes our Saviour, all who believe in Him for salvation, who depend upon Him and not upon themselves, who receive Him to be the One whom God declares Him to be, should receive the forgiveness of their sins. The questions therefore to be put to ourselves are simply these: Do I walk in utter carelessness? Do I trust in my own exertions for salvation? Do I expect forgiveness for my sins on account of living a better life in future? Or, do I depend only upon this, that Jesus died upon the cross to save sinners — and that Jesus fulfilled the law of God to make sinners righteous? If the latter is the case, my sins are forgiven, whether I feel it or not. I have already forgiveness. I shall not have it merely when I die, or when the Lord Jesus comes again; but I have it now, and that for all my sins. I must not wait to feel that my sins are forgiven, in order to be at peace, and in order to be happy; but I must take God at His word, I must believe that what He says is true, and He says, “That whosoever believeth in the Lord Jesus should receive remission of sins;” and when I believe what God says, peace and joy will be the result.
Again, in Acts xv. 8, 9, it is written in reference to us Gentile sinners: “And God, which knoweth the hearts, bare them witness, giving them the Holy Ghost, even as He did unto us; and put no difference between us and them, purifying their hearts by jaith.” Here we see how the guilt is to be removed from the heart, how we can get a clean heart, obtain the forgiveness of our sins — even by faith in the Lord Jesus. Depending upon the sufferings of the Lord Jesus in the room of sinners, and depending upon His obedience in fulfilling the law of God, His sufferings are considered as endured by us, His obedience as if found in ourselves: in Him (if we believe on Him) we are considered to have hung on the cross, and therefore were punished in Him, on account of which God, though perfectly holy and just, can forgive us our sins for Jesus’ sake, as well as reckon us righteous, through faith in the Lord Jesus, who in the room of those who believe on Him fulfilled the law of God.
Question. How may I know that I shall be saved 2
In John iii. 16, it is written: “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” Notice here in particular: (1) It matters not how great a sinner I am. (2) The promise is positive concerning my salvation, if I believe in the Lord Jesus. (3) I have only to believe in the Lord Jesus. No matter how it may have been with me hitherto; if only now I trust in and depend upon the Lord Jesus for salvation, I shall have everlasting life.
Further, in Acts xvi. 30, 31, it is written: ‘Sirs, what must I do to be saved? And they said, Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ, and thou shalt be saved.”
Further, in John iii. 36, it is written: “He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life; and he that believeth not the Son
shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him.” As assuredly as I depend upon and trust in the Lord Jesus for the salvation of my soul, I shall be saved, I have already everlasting life; for He died, to deliver those who believe on Him from the wrath of God, under which all men are in their natural state; but if IT do not believe in the Lord Jesus, the wrath of God, which rests upon all men in their natural state, will finally destroy me, if I remain without faith in the Lord Jesus; for then I reject the one only remedy, in refusing to take Jesus as my substitute, who bore the punishment that He might deliver the sinner from it, and who fulfilled the law of God that He might make the sinner who believes on Him a just one before God.
Question. How may I know that I am one of the elect? I often read in the Scriptures about election, and I often hear about election; how may I know that I am a chosen one, that I am predestinated to be conformed to the image of the Son of God?
Answer. It is written: “As many as were ordained, (i.e. appointed) ¢o eternal life believed.” (Acts xiii. 48). The question therefore simply is this: Do I believe in the Lord Jesus? Do I take Him to be the One whom God declares Him to be, i.e. His beloved Son in whom He is well pleased? If so, I am a believer, and I should never have believed, except I had been appointed by God to eternal life — -except I had been made by God to be a vessel of mercy. Therefore the matter is a very simple one: if I believe in the Lord Jesus, I am a chosen one — - I have been appointed to eternal life.
Again, in Rom. vill. 29, 30, it is written: “For whom He did foreknow, He also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren. Moreover, whom He did predestinate, them He also called: and. whom He called, them He also justified; and whom He justified, them He also glorified.” How are we justified, or counted just ones, before God — By faith in the Lord Jesus, Rom. iii. 20-26. Therefore if I believe in the Lord Jesus, it follows (on account of the inseparable connection of all the precious things spoken of in these two verses), that I have been foreknown by God, that I have been predestinated by Him to be conformed to the image of His Son, that I have been called, that I have been justified, and that, in the sight of God, I am already as good as glorified, though Iam not as yet in the actual possession and enjoyment of the glory.
The reason why persons who renounce confidence in their own goodness for salvation, and who only trust in the merits and sufferings of the Lord Jesus, do not know that they are the children of God, that their sins are forgiven, and that they will be saved, generally arises from one of these things: (1) They do not know the simplicity of the Gospel; or, (2) They seek to settle it by their feeling; or, (3) They wait for some powerful impulse, or a dream, or something like a voice from heaven to assure them of it, or for some passage being in a powerful way applied to their mind to assure them of it; or, (4) Because they are living in sin. Should the last be the case, then, however correctly we may understand the Gospel; however much we may desire by the Holy Scriptures alone to settle these questions; yea, however much in former times we may have enjoyed the assurance of the forgiveness of our sins, or of our being the children of God, or that we shall be saved: in such a state of heart all peace would be gone, and would not return as long as we live in sin. There may be found much weakness and many infirmities even in the believer who has assurance about these points; but the Holy Ghost does not comfort us, and will not comfort us, if we habitually indulge in those things which we know to be contrary to the mind of God. An upright, honest heart is of the utmost importance in all divine things; and especially with reference to the assurance about our standing before God.
April 15th. From March 12th up to this day we had always a little money in hand for the Orphans, so that there was comparatively no trial of faith.
From March 20th, to May 7th, I spent at Nailsworth, where I prepared the second part of my Narrative for the press, and laboured in the Word.
May 7th. I returned with my family to Bristol.
How to be constantly happy in the Lord.
While I was staying at Nailsworth, it pleased the Lord to teach me a truth, irrespective of human instrumentality, as far as I know, the benefit of which I have not lost, though now, while preparing the eighth edition for the press, more than forty years have since passed away. The point is this: I saw more clearly than ever, that the first great and primary business to which T ought to attend every day was, to have my soul happy in the Lord. The first thing to be concerned about was not, how much I might serve the Lord, how I might glorify the Lord; but how I might get my soul into a happy state, and how my inner man might be nourished. For I might seek to set the truth before the unconverted, I might seek to benefit believers, I might seek to relieve the distressed, I might in other ways seek to behave myself as it becomes a child of God in this world; and yet, not being happy in the Lord, and not being nourished and strengthened in my inner man day by day, all this might not be attended to in a right spirit. Before this time my practice had been, at least for ten years previously, as an habitual thing, to give myself to prayer, after having dressed in the morning.
Now I saw, that the most important thing I had to do was, to give myself to the reading of the Word of God and to meditation on it, that thus my heart might be comforted,
encouraged, warned, reproved, instructed; and that thus, whilst meditating, my heart might be brought into experimental communion with the Lord. I began, therefore, to meditate on the New Testament, from the beginning, early in the morning. The first thing I did, after having asked in a few words the Lord’s blessing upon His precious Word, was to begin to meditate on the Word of God, searching as it were, into every verse, to get blessing out of it; not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word; not for the sake of preaching on what T had meditated upon; but for the sake of obtaining food for my own soul. The result I have found to be almost invariably this, that after a very few minutes my soul has been led to confession, or to thanksgiving, or to intercession, or to supplication; so that though I did not, as it were, give myself to prayer, but to meditation, yet it turned almost immediately more or less into prayer. When thus I have been for awhile making confession, or intercession, or supplication, or have given thanks, I go on to the next words or verse, turning all, as I go on, into prayer for myself or others, as the Word may lead to it; but still continually keeping before me, that food for my own soul is the object of my meditation. The result of this is, that there is always a good deal of confession, thanksgiving, supplication, or intercession mingled with my meditation, and that my inner man almost invariably is even sensibly nourished and strengthened, and that by breakfast time, with rare exceptions, I am in a peaceful if not happy state of heart. Thus also the Lord is pleased to communicate unto me that which, very soon after, T have found to become food for other believers, though it was not for the sake of the public ministry of the Word that I gave myself to meditation, but for the profit of my own inner man.
The difference then between my former practice and my present one is this. Formerly, when I rose, I began to pray as soon as possible, and generally spent all my time till breakfast in prayer, or almost all the time. At all events, I almost invariably began with prayer, except when I felt my soul to be more than usually barren, in which case I read the Word of God for food, or for refreshment, or for a revival - and renewal of my inner man, before I gave myself to prayer. But what was the result? I often spent a quarter of an hour, or half an hour, or even an hour on my knees, before being conscious to myself of having derived comfort, encouragement, humbling of soul, ete.; and often, after having suffered much from wandering of mind for the first ten minutes, or a quarter of an hour, or even half an hour, I only then began really to pray. I scarcely ever suffer now in this way. For my heart being nourished by the truth, being brought into experimental fellowship with God, I speak to my Father, and to my Friend (vile though I am, and unworthy of it!) about the things that He has brought before me in His precious Word.
It often now astonishes me that I did not sooner see this. In no book did I ever read about it. No public ministry ever brought the matter before me. No private intercourse with a brother stirred me up to this matter. And yet now, since God has taught me this point, it is as plain to me as anything, that the first thing the child of God has to do morning by morning is to obtain food for his inner man. As the outward man is not fit for work for any length of time, except we take food, and as this is one of the first things we do in the morning, so it should be with the inner man. We should take food for that, as every one must allow. Now what is the food for the inner man? Not prayer, but the Word of God; and here again not the simple reading of the Word of God, so that it only passes through our minds just as water runs through a pipe, but considering what we read, pondering over it, and applying it to our hearts.
When we pray we speak to God. Now, prayer, in order to be continued for any length of time in any other than a formal manner, requires, generally speaking, a measure of strength or godly desire, and the season, therefore, when this exercise of the soul can be most effectually performed, is, after the inner man has been nourished by meditation on the Word of God, where we find our Father speaking to us, to encourage us, to comfort us, to instruct us, to humble us, to reprove us. We may therefore profitably meditate, with God’s blessing, though we are ever so weak spiritually; nay, the weaker we are, the more we need meditation for the strengthening of our inner man. There is thus far less to be feared from wandering of mind, than if we give ourselves to prayer, without having had previously time for meditation.
T dwell so particularly on this point because of the immense spiritual profit and refreshment I am conscious of having derived from it myself, and I affectionately and solemnly beseech all my fellow-believers to ponder this matter. By the blessing of God I ascribe to this mode the help and strength which I have had from God to pass in peace through deeper trials in various ways than I had ever had before; and after having now above forty years tried this way, I can most fully, in the fear of God, commend it. How different when the soul is refreshed and made happy early in the morning, from what it is when, without spiritual preparation, the service, the trials, and the temptations of the day come upon one!
May 29th. To-day I received from the Hast Indies £100. — - Notice here, that without any solicitation, simply in answer to prayer, the Lord is pleased to send us from time to time even large sums, and that from such a distance as the Hast Indies.
June 4th. Two or three weeks since, a brother at a distance requested me to let him know the names of my bankers, and the names of their agents in London, in order that he might by means of his bankers send me some money. One day after
another passed away, and I heard no more about it. To-day I received the following letter : — “My dear Brother,
“I have delayed writing to you under the expectation of seeing you at Bristol; but I am not yet suffered to leave ***, I have, by this post, written to * * * of London, desiring them to pay over to the credit of George Müller, the sum of fifty pounds. This apply, dear brother, as the Lord gives you wisdom. I am not concerned at my having been prevented for so many days Jrom sending this money: I am confident it has not been needed.”
This last sentence is remarkable. It is now nearly three years since our funds were for the first time exhausted, and only at this period, since then, could it have been said in truth, as far as I remember, that a donation of £50 was not needed.
On the same day came in still further from Hackney £10, besides several small donations.
Gives wp Chapel Boxes for his own Support.
July 7th. For some time past brother Craik and I have questioned whether, wnder our present circumstances, the mode of receiving the free-will offerings of the saints among whom we labour, by means of boxes over which our names were fixed, together with the explanation of the object of the boxes, was any longer the more excellent way. We have at last been quite decided about it, and put to-day the following short statement into the press.
To the Saints in Christ Jesus assembling at Bethesda Chapel, Bristol. “Dear Brethren,
“It has seemed well to us to remove from the chapel, the boxes appropriated for the reception of the free-will offerings towards our temporal support. In order to prevent misapprehension or misrepresentation, we desire affectionately to lay before you the following statement of our reasons for taking this step.
Upon our first coming to Bristol we declined accepting anything in the shape of regular salary, or by means of seat-rents, from the brethren among whom we were labouring. We did not act thus because we thought it wrong that those who were ministered unto in spiritual things should minister unto us in temporal things; but (1) because we would not have the liberality of the brethren to be a matter of constraint, but willingly; (2) because on the ground of James ii. 1 — 6, we objected to seat-rents. Boxes were put up for the sake of those into whose hearts God might put it to desire to act according to that word, “Let him that is taught in the Word communicate unto him that teacheth in ‘all good things.” Gal. vi. 6.
When the boxes were first put up, we were the only brethren that seemed called to labour in the Word and doctrine. Since then, however, circumstances have considerably altered; and partly from the change in circumstances, and partly from increased light in reference to the position of those who minister the Word, we have for some time past felt that it might be well, for certain reasons, that the present mode of receiving the offerings of the saints should be discontinued. At the same time we are very desirous of having it clearly understood, that, in the great principles which led to the adoption of the boxes, in the first instance, we are unchanged: or rather we are more strengthened, by the experience of more than ten years, in the propriety of rejecting seat-rents and fixed salaries.
(1) As long as the boxes are there, it ought to be understood for what purpose the money, which is put into them, is applied. This necessity requires that our names should be given, as those who labour in the Word and doctrine. This again has the appearance of elevating ourselves above all the other brethren, and of assuming office to ourselves, instead of just seeking to fill the place which the Holy Ghost may have given us in the body.
(2) It may please the Lord increasingly to call and qualify other brethren for the work of ruling and teaching in the church; but still, as long as we are looked upon as we have been hitherto, in consequence of our names being affixed to the boxes, unnecessary difficulties may probably be put in the way of any others being fwly recognised by the saints generally as occupying, equally with ourselves, the place in which the Lord may set them.
(3) The question may be asked even now, “Are these the only labourers 2?’ and the reply would be that there are others who also labour, but who are not supported in the same way. This fact is fitted to give the impression to those who do not know us, that we were seeking to keep our place in the church by some outward title, rather than just filling it up in obedience to the Lord, and quietly leaving it with His Spirit to produce subjection unto us on the part of the saints.
(4) Lastly, from the manner in which our names appear in public, we have reason to believe that some of the saints look upon us as exclusively the “ministers,” and thus that some may have felt themselves neglected because not visited personally by us. The notion that two individuals should be able to exercise pastoral inspection over about five hundred and fifty believers, we consider to be very unsound; but for ourselves we feel that it is a responsibility which we dare not take. According to our gift and strength we desire to rule, teach, and feed the sheep of Christ; but we dare not undertake the personal inspection of all who are already gathered, or may be gathered, simply as believers in the Lord Jesus, in this city.
Thus we have endeavoured very briefly to state our reasons for declining any longer to receive your offerings through boxes
publicly put up, and having our names appended to them. We desire grace to serve you more faithfully than ever, and cast ourselves, as we have done hitherto, upon Him who hath said, “If any man serve ME him will My Father honour.”
HENRY CRAIK,
Bristol, July 7, 1841. GEORGE MULLER.”
When this alteration was made, I had another proof of the many blessings which are connected with the life of faith. Under other circumstances the question would naturally have arisen in my mind, And what will you do for support, if the boxes are removed? How will the offerings come in? Will any come in? But none of these things troubled me even for a moment. I said to myself, somehow or other the Lord will provide for me. If not through the instrumentality of the saints in Bristol, He will send help by means of those who live elsewhere. All T have to do in this matter is, to serve the Lord and to trust in Him, and He will surely take care of my temporal necessities. And thus it has been since July, 1841, also, even as before.
The reader may desire to know, how the Lord has since that time provided for my temporal necessities, seemg that the boxes, which were put up in the two chapels for the reception of the freewill offerings, were removed. I therefore state it. (1) I have received, as at former times, some presents in provisions, clothes, etc., from the saints among whom [ labour and from other saints. (2) Some of the brethren and sisters among whom I labour have either habitually or from time to time put up some money in paper, and directed it to brother Craik or to me, or to both of us, and have put these little money parcels into one of the boxes for the reception of the offerings for the poor saints, or into the boxes into which the free-will contributions for the rent and expenses of the chapels are put. These little packets have been handed over to us by the deacons, and as they were directed so they have been appropriated. (3) In a few cases, brethren and sisters in communion with us have also given me presents in money. (4) The Lord has also continued to incline the hearts of some of His children, not living in Bristol, to send me presents in money, and again and again even those whom I have never seen, and whose names, sometimes, I do not even know.
The only thing that was a real difficulty in my mind in making this alteration was, not that I should be a loser, and much less that the Lord would not care for my temporal necessities; but lest some of the children of God should find, in the removal of the boxes for the reception of the offerings for brother Craik and me, an excuse for doing nothing at all for our temporal necessities; and lest especially the poor, because they might have only pence or halfpence to give, should be deterred from doing so, and thereby both classes should rob themselves of blessing. It was not because I feared to lose the gifts of some; for I can, by the grace of God, say in some measure at least with the apostle Paul, “Not because I desire a gift: but I desire fruit that may abound to your account.” Philip.iv. 17. My aim also is, by the help of God, to be brought into that state of heart in which the apostle Paul was when he said, “J will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.” 2 Cor. xii. 15. But yet, with this desire on my part, knew that the dear children of God among whom I labour would rob themselves and not me of a blessing, if they did not contribute towards my temporal necessities; and I feared, lest this alteration should be used by Satan as an instrument to their injury. But the mind of God seemed to us, after all, on account of the reasons before stated, that the alteration ought to be made, notwithstanding any possible evils which might result from it.
We are thus in such a position, that there is free room for the Holy Ghost to commend all the various labourers among us, according to the measure of grace and gift given to them, to the consciences of the brethren, not only with reference to their spiritual position in the body, but also with reference to their temporal need.
August 7th. ‘Io-day we had one sixpence left for our own personal necessities. We needed some money to buy eggs and cocoa for a brother who is come to stay with us, when this brother gave me four shillings, which he had brought for me from the place whence he comes. Thus we are helped for the present.
August 26th. After a season of comparative poverty with reference to myself, though always having what was really needful in the way of nourishing food, etc., a brother sent me to-day £17 18s. from a considerable distance, of which half is for the Orphans, and half for my own temporal necessities.
September 2nd. During the last four months we have had more in hand for the Orphans than we needed. Since July, 1838, when for the first time the funds were exhausted, we have had at no period so much money in hand. There was, as it were, during these four months, one continual even running of the river of God’s bounty, both by presents in money and articles. — As we had now for several months abounded in a greater degree than at any previous time of the same length during the past three years and three months, so it pleased the Lord after this period to try our faith more severely than during any time since the work -first commenced. Indeed, so sharp were the trials of our faith for more than six months after this; — so long the seasons when, day after day, only daily supplies were granted to us, and when even from meal to meal we had to look to the Lord; — so long had we to continue in prayer, and yet help seemed to fail; — that it can only be ascribed to the especial mercy of God, that the faith of those who were engaged in this work did not altogether fail, and that they did not entirely grow weary of this way of carrying on the Lord’s work, and go, in despair of
help from God, back again to the habits and maxims of this evil world. How my fellow-labourers have felt during all this time, I am, of course, unable to state; but, if I may speak of myself, I joyfully state, to the praise of the Lord, that during all the following months my faith was sustained without wavering, but still so greatly was it tried, that often I had no other petition but that the Lord would be pleased to continue it, and that He would pity me as a father pitieth his children. In the midst of the trial I was fully assured that the Lord would lighten His hand in His own good time, and that, whilst it lasted, it was only in order that in a,small measure, for the benefit of the church of God generally, that word might be fulfilled in us — ‘* Whether we be afflicted it 1s for your consolation.” I now give an account of the commencement and progress of our trial of faith during the months which succeeded the time of abundance.
October Ist. When I had not one penny in hand for the necessities of this day, there was brought to me this morning 10s. for the Orphans, which had been sent from Kensington. In the paper, which contained the money, was written: “Your Heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of ‘tHuse things.” “Trust in the Lord.” This word of our Lord is to me of more value than many bank-notes. About five minutes later i received from an Irish sister £10.
October 6th. As only £4 more had been received for the Orphans since Oct. Ist, the last money had now again been given out to supply this day’s necessities, when £2 15s. came in, being the produce of some of the articles which had been sent from Tetbury. This evening I also received from a brother a sovereign, which his believing wife, on her dying bed, had requested him to give after her decease. ‘There came in likewise this evening by a donation 10s., and by sale of articles £2 10s. 5d.
October 21st. As only between £9 and £10 had come in since the 16th for the Orphans, we were this day again, as is often the case, without anything in hand, when 12s. 2d. was sent from Exmouth.
October 29th. To-day we were again very poor; for not only had I nothing at all in hand, but the provision stores were much reduced. About twelve o’clock a sister gave me 3s. 2d., also from a distance was sent 9d. In the afternoon we were able to dispose of for £3 some articles which had been sent a long time ago. Three shillings came in for needlework, and 2s. 6d. as a donation. Thus we had £3 9s. 5d. — The day before yesterday I had asked the Lord that He would be pleased to send us some potatoes, as we had no means to lay in a stock. This morning I was informed that the same brother who had sent 20 sacks last year, had again ordered 20 sacks to be sent, and 6 sacks have also been given by another individual.
November 2nd. At a time of the greatest poverty, £1 was sent by a lady from Birmingham. About half an hour afterwards I received £10 from a brother, who had saved up £150, and put it into a savings’ bank, but who now sees that to devote this money to the promotion of the work of God tends more to the glory of the name of Jesus, than to retain it in a savings’ bank upon interest for a time of sickness or old age; for he is assured that should such times come, the same Lord, who has hitherto cared for him, whilst in health and strength, and able to work, will also care for him then. The same brother gave me £3 a fortnight since. This £10 came in very seasonably; for though we had been able to provide for the absolute necessities of to-day, yet there was want in many respects, especially as a boy is just going out as an apprentice, who needs tools and an outfit.
November 13th. Saturday. This morning I took Is. out of the box in my house. ‘This one shilling was all there was towards the need of to-day. — Pause, dear reader, for a few moments! Consider that there are more than a hundred persons to be provided with everything they require; consider that there is no money in hand; and consider also that this is the case not once nor twice in the course of the year, but very frequently. Is it not precious, under such circumstances, to have the Living God as a Father to go to, who is ever able and ever willing to help, as may be really needed? And to this privilege every one has a title who believes in the Lord Jesus, being as such a child of God. (Galatians iii. 26.) For though all the believers in the Lord Jesus are not called upon to establish Orphan-Houses, Schools for poor children, etc., and trust in God for means; yet all believers, according to the will of God concerning them in Christ Jesus, may cast, and ought to cast, all their care upon Him who careth for them, and need not be anxiously concerned about anything, as is plainly to be seen from 1 Peter v. 7, Philippians iv. 6, Matthew vi. 25 — 34. Under these circumstances of need, a silver watch, which only yesterday afternoon had become the property of the Orphan-Fund, was disposed of, whereby we were helped through the expenses of the day. The coals are almost gone in each of the houses. Every article of provision, etc., is likewise much reduced. Truly, we are exceedingly poor; nevertheless there are the necessary provisions till Monday morning, and thus we were brought to the close of another week. This afternoon all the labourers met for prayer.
November 14th. When we met again this afternoon for prayer, we had reason to praise; for the Lord had sent in means. This morning was given to me £5, and 6s. had come in by sale of articles.
November 16th. The last four days we have daily met for prayer, there being no means to pay the teachers in the Day Schools. Besides this, we need a stove in one of the school-rooms; also some Bibles and Tracts. To-day I received £2 from a brother at Exmouth.
As only 2s. had been given yesterday for the Orphans, there
was this morning again only 4s. 6d. in hand, which between ten and eleven o’clock I was on the point of sending to the Orphan-Houses, having been called on for money. While I was writing the note to that effect, received a Post-Office order for £3 from a brother at Barnstaple, which was again a most precious deliverance, as our stores had been in every way much reduced. About two hours later I received £4 more from a brother at Exmouth, the half of which was for the Orphans, and the other half for the other Objects. Through the same brother also was sent with Luke xxii. 32, £1 for the Orphans.
November 24th. We have been daily meeting for prayer the
last twelve days. To-day, just before I was going to the meeting, one of some articles, which came yesterday, was sold for £2 2s., which sum supplies us with means for this day. The donors may not have thought, perhaps, that their bounty would so soon be needed.-When I came to the prayer-meeting, I heard of a little circumstance which is worthy of notice. The Infant Orphans took a walk this morning with their teacher. A poor woman came to her, whilst they were walking, and gave her twopence for the benefit of the. Orphans, adding “It is but a trifle, but I must give it to you.” Now, one of these two pence had been needed, by the time I came, to make up the little sum which was required for the bread.! December Ist. Again many shillings were needed for this day. At the Boys’ Orphan-House matters stood so in the morning, that, with an addition of e¢ght pence, the dinner could be provided; but there was only seven pence in hand. Brother B. having heard that something had been put last evening into the box at the Girls’ Orphan-House, went, and it was found to be one penny, which an aged sister had put in, whereby the present need was supplied. Even the gift of this one penny was thus evidently under the ordering of our kind Father, who not in anger, but for the trial of our faith, keeps us so poor. About ten o’clock this morning there was sent half a sovereign. In the letter was written: “From the wife of a clergyman, for the Orphan-Houses.” This donation was truly sweet, as coming from our faithful Lord, though it was not nearly enough. But He had pity on us, and sent in still further to-day by the sale of stockings 5s., and by the sale of other articles 12s.
December 7th. Three weeks and three days we have now been daily meeting for prayer, on account of the state of the funds, and to ask the Lord’s blessing upon the work. We have been daily asking Him to supply us with means for the School, Bible, Missionary, and Tract Fund. Now, to-day, in this our great poverty, there was sent by a sister, whom I have never seen, the sum of £50, of which, according to her wish, £10 is to be applied to each of these Objects, and £10 for the Orphans. Thus the Lord has been pleased to send us a little help, which is greatly
needed for all the Objects; for the teachers have had only as much as was absolutely needful, the Bible stock is almost entirely exhausted, the Tract stock is quite exhausted, and to some Missionary brethren we greatly desired to send help, but were unable to do so. Nevertheless, even now we are waiting upon the Lord for further supplies.
When this money came, there was none at all in hand for the Orphans, though fresh supplies were much needed. By this £10, then, the Lord has again helped us for the present.
December 9th. We are now brought to the close of the sixth year of this part of the work, having only in hand the money which has been put by for the rent; but during the whole of this year we have been supplied with all that was needed.
Postpones Publication of Report.
During the last three years we had closed the accounts on this day, and had, a few days after, some public meetings, at which, for the benefit of the hearers, we stated how the Lord had dealt with us during the year, and the substance of what had been stated at these meetings was afterwards printed for the benefit of the church at large. This time, however, it appeared to us better to delay for a while both the public meetings and the publishing of the Report. Through grace we had learned to lean upon the Lord only, being assured that, if we never were to speak or write one single word more about this work, yet should we be supplied with means, as long as He should enable us to depend on Himself alone. But whilst we neither had had those public meetings for the purpose of exposing our necessity, nor had had the account of the Lord’s dealings with us published for the sake of working thereby upon the feelings of the readers, and thus inducing them to give money, but only that we might by our experience benefit other saints; yet it might have appeared to some that, in making known our circumstances, we were actuated by some such motives. What better proof, therefore, could we give of our depending upon the Living God alone, and not upon public meetings or printed Reports, than that, in the midst of our deep poverty, instead of being glad for the time to have come when we could make known our circumstances, we still went on quietly for some time longer, without saying anything. We therefore determined, as we sought and still seek in this work to act for the profit of the saints generally, to delay both the public meetings and the Report for a few months. Naturally we should have been, of course, as glad as any one to have exposed our poverty at that time; but spiritually we were enabled to delight even then in the prospect of the increased benefit that might be derived by the Church at large from our acting as we did.
December 18th. Saturday morning. There is now the greatest need, and only 4d. in hand, which I found in the box at my house; yet I fully believe the Lord will supply us this day also with all that is required. — Pause a few moments, dear reader!
Observe two things! We acted for God in delaying the public meetings and the publishing of the Report; but God’s way leads always into trial, so far as sight and sense are concerned. Nature always will be tried in God’s ways. The Lord was saying by this poverty, “I will now see whether you truly lean upon Me, and whether you truly look to Me.” Of all the seasons that I had ever passed through since I had been living in this way, wp to that time, I never knew any period in which my faith was tried so sharply, as during the four months from December 12th, 1841, to April 12th, 1842. But observe further: We might even now have altered our minds with respect to the public meetings and publishing the Report; for no one knew our determination, at this time, concerning the point. Nay, on the contrary, we knew with what delight very many children of God were looking forward to receive further accounts. But the Lord kept us steadfast to the conclusion, at which we had arrived,
Now to return to Saturday, December 18th. Evening. The Lord has been very kind to us this day. In the course of the morning 6s. came in. We had thus, with what provisions there were in hand, all that was needed for the dinner, but no means to provide for the next meal in the afternoon. A few minutes after the labourers had met together for prayer this morning, there was given to one of them a sovereign for himself. By means of this, all that was needed for tea could be procured. Another labourer gave 3s. 6d. and two books, which were sold for 4s. There came in still further in the course of the afternoon and evening by sale of articles 14s. 4d. Thus, when we again met in the evening for prayer, we found that the supplies had amounted to £2 8s, 2d., enough for all that was required to-day. But one thing more is to be noticed respecting this day. I was informed that three more of the Orphans have been recently brought to the knowledge of the truth. We have now been meeting daily for prayer during the last five weeks, and thus the Lord has not merely heard our prayers respecting the funds, but has also blessed these children.
December 23rd. This is now the sixth week that the labourers in the Day-Schools and Orphan-Houses have daily met for prayer. Several precious answers we have already received since we began to meet, as regards pecuniary supplies, fresh instances of conversion among the children, etc. One of our petitions has been that the Lord would be pleased to furnish us with means for a stove at Callowhill Street School-room. But though we had often mentioned this matter before the Lord, He seemed not to regard our request. Yesterday afternoon, whilst walking in my little garden, and meditating and praying, I had an unusual assurance that the time was now come when the Lord would answer our request, which arose partly from my being able to believe that He would send the means, and partly from the fact that the answer could no longer be delayed, without prayer having failed in this matter, as we could not assemble the children again, after the Christmas vacation, without there being a stove put up. And now, dear reader, observe : — This morning T received from A. B. £20, and we have thus much more than is required for a stove.
December 3lst. The Lord has sent me for my temporal supplies during this year £238 lls. 1fd. I have been richly supplied with all I needed; yea, I have had much more than I needed.
January Ist. Last night we had our usual prayer-meeting at the close of the year, which this time lasted from seven in the evening till half-past twelve.
January yd. On the 1st £1 7s. 6d. came in for the Orphans; on the 2nd £10 13s. 7d.; and to-day there came in from Plymouth £6, from Exmouth £5, from a sister in Bristol £5, and from the East Indies £2. I have by this £30 1s. ld. been enabled, as it had been my prayer, to give some money to the five sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses, for their own personal necessities.
January 4th. As we have often found it to be the case, so it is now. After a season of more than usual poverty, comes a time of more than usual abundance; but the expenses have been great also, for within the last twenty-five days I have paid out above £100.
January 25th. There was now again this morning nothing in hand for the Orphans. About ten o’clock there was sent to me, as the produce of an Orphan box, a small necklace, an old SiXpence, and 5s. 8d. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s. 9d. As this 9s. 5d. was not enough, the boxes in the Orphan-Houses were opened; they contained 17s. 2d., and thus we were again supplied.
Perhaps, dear reader, you have said in your heart before you have read thus far: “How would it be, suppose the funds for the Orphans were reduced to nothing, and those who are engaged in the work had nothing of their own to give, and a meal time were to come, and you had no food for the children?” Thus indeed it may be, for our hearts are desperately wicked. If ever we should be so left to ourselves, as that either we depend no more upon the Living God, or that we regard iniquity in our hearts, then such a state of things, we have reason to believe, would occur. But so long as we shall be enabled to trust in the Living God, and so-long as, though falling short in every way of what we might be, and ought to be, we are at least kept from living in sin, such a state of things cannot occur.
January 29th. Two sovereigns which came in on the 27th supplied our need yesterday. When I had again nothing in hand, to meet to-day’s necessities, a sister came last evening,
and brought me £1 6s., a sovereign from another sister, and 6s. from herself. She said: “I do not know whether the Orphans have a dinner for to-morrow or not, but I had no rest in delaying to bring this money.” I had but just then come home from a meeting, and had on the way to my house been lifting up my heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased to remember our need.
My dear reader, do you indeed recognise the hand of God in all these instances? I have given instance upon instance; I have brought before you not this particular case, nor another particular case; but I have purposely shown you how we have fared day after day in our poverty, in order that you may adore the Lord for His goodness to us, and that you yourself may be led to depend upon Him for everything, should you not have done so before. I affectionately beseech you, not to take these instances as a matter of course. Say not in your heart, This is a charitabie Institution; persons know that the maintenance of these many Orphans, and the support of these Day-Schools, ete., costs much money; and therefore they will contribute. Nor suffer Satan to rob you of the blessing which the account of the Lord’s faithfulness to us, and His readiness to listen to our supplications, is calculated, with God’s blessing, to communicate to you, by allowing him to whisper into your ears that, because the Reports are read by many, donations will of course be coming in, and that not all at once, but gradually, and that this is the way we are supplied.
Dear reader, it is not thus. Suppose, we have been for some time on the whole bountifully supplied. Suppose, now all is gone. Suppose, the expenses are great, but very little comparatively is coming in. What shall we do now? If we took goods on credit, or if we made known our necessities at such times to the liberal Christians who have means, and who are interested in the work in our hands, then, humanly speaking, there might be little difficulty; but we neither take goods on credit, nor do we speak to any one about our need, but we wait upon God. Now, suppose our expenses are, week after week, £30, £40, £50, or £60. How are the means to come? Persons might still give; yea, many persons might still give, but it might just happen so, that all the donations that are received at the time when our expenses are most heavy are very small donations; how shall we do then? Sometimes the outgoings have been so great, that if I had sold everything I possessed, I could not thereby have met the expenses of two weeks. What then is to be done? We wait upon God, and He always helps us, and has done so now (i.e. in 1881) for more than forty-five years with reference to the Orphans, and for more than forty-seven with reference to the other parts of the work.
February 8th. So far as I know, these three years and seven months, since first the funds were exhausted, we were never in greater poverty; and if the Lord were not to send means before nine o’clock to-morrow morning, His name would be dishonoured. But Lam fully assured that He will not leave us. — Evening. The Lord has not yet been pleased to send us what is needed for to-morrow, but He has given us a fresh proof that He is mindful of us Between four and five o’clock this afternoon were sent nine plum cakes, which a sister had ordered to be baked as a treat for the Orphans. These cakes were an encouragement to me to continue to look out for further supplies. There was also found in the boxes at the Orphan-Houses, 2s. 1dd., and Is. 4d. came in for stockings. These little donations are most precious, but they are not enough to meet the need of to-morrow; yea, before nine o’clock to-morrow morning we need more money to be able to take in the milk. Truly, we are poorer than ever; but, through grace, my eyes look not at the empty stores and the empty purse, but to the riches of the Lord only.
February 9th. This morning I went between seven and eight o’clock to the Orphan-Houses, to see whether the Lord had sent in anything. When I arrived there, He had just two or three minutes before sent help. — A brother, in going to his house of business this morning, had gone already about half a mile, when the Lord was pleased to lay the Orphans upon his heart. He said, however, to himself, I cannot well return now, but will take something this evening; and thus he walked on. Nevertheless he could not go any further, but felt himself constrained to go back, and to take to the Boys’ Orphan-House, three sovereigns. (The donor himself stated this to me afterwards). Thus the Lord in His faithfulness helped us. Help was never more truly needed, for our poverty was never greater; nor did the help of the Lord ever come more manifestly from Himself; for the brother was gone on a good distance, it was between seven and eight o’clock in the morning, and it was so short a time before money was needed. Consider this, beloved reader, and with us praise the Lord. Praise Him particularly, that He enabled us to trust in Him in this trying hour.
February 12th. Saturday. Never since the funds were for the first time exhausted, had there come in less during any week, than during this. We were only able to supply the absolute necessities; but this we were enabled to do. When the meal times came, the Lord always provided what was needful, and, considering the great distress there is now almost everywhere, our dear Orphans are very well provided for. Now this day began not only without there being anything in hand, but our stores were greatly reduced, and we had to procure provisions for two days. One of the labourers gave 5s. in the morning, to provide the means to take in the milk. I collected together some pamphlets, which had been given for sale, to dispose of them, and they were sold about eleven o’clock for 4s. There came in also by sale of stockings 3s., and 12s. was paid on
Mr. Mtiumr’s Houser, 21, Pau Srrurr, Brisron.
behalf of one of the Orphans. Thus we were provided with means to procure a dinner, and had a J/ittle towards purchasing bread; but by no means enough. All the labourers were together in prayer from half{-past eleven till one, and we separated comfortably, with the purpose of meeting again in the evening. When I came home, there was given to me an old broken silver pencil case, which, though worth very little, I took as a fresh proof that our Father was mindful of our need. When we met again this evening, we found that 4s. had come in. As all this was not enough, a few old and needless articles were disposed of for 4s., also the broken pencil case for 6d. A labourer was also still further able to give 7s. of his own. To one of the labourers 2s. had been owed by a certain individual for more than a twelvemonth, which being paid just now, and given by him for the Orphans, came in most seasonably. Thus we had £1 18s. 6d., as much as was needful to procure provisions till after breakfast on Monday morning. However, the Lord helped still further. Between eight and nine this evening, after we had been together for prayer, and had now separated, some money was given to one of the labourers for himself, by which means he was able to give 9s., so that altogether £2 7s. 6d. had come in this day. This had been, of all the weeks, during the last three years and seven months, one of the most trying. Thanks to the Lord who has helped us this day also! Thanks to Him for enabling us already this morning, when we met for prayer, to praise Him for the deliverance, which we were sure He would work!
February 19th. Saturday. Our means were now again completely spent. Our provision stores were, perhaps, even more exhausted than on any previous Saturday. There was not the least human likelihood of obtaining means for sufficient provisions for this one day, and much less for two days. When I went before breakfast to the Orphan-Houses, I found a letter from Nottingham, containing 1s., which had arrived last evening. This was not only a sweet proof that our Father remembered our need, but it was also like an earnest that He would supply us this day also with all we required. In the course of the morning came in by sale of stockings 4s. 1ld. In the box at my house I found 1s. One of the labourers gave 4s. 10d. Thus we were provided with those things which were absolutely needed for this day. We met between eleven and twelve o’clock for prayer. When we met again in the evening, a second letter had arrived from Nottingham, with another shilling. This was a further sweet proof of our Father’s loving remembrance of our need; but with all this we were still without any means to provide bread for to-morrow, the Lord’s-day. At about eight I separated from my fellow-labourers, as I expected brother R. C. Chapman to arrive a little after eight at my house. I therefore requested one of the brethren to go with me, in order to take back to the Orphan-Houses what the Lord might send in by post or in any other way. It was now half-past eight in the evening, and there was no bread yet in any one of the three houses for to-morrow. A few moments after, brother Chapman arrived, and he had not been more than about five minutes in my house when he gave me half-a-sovereign, which he brought for the Orphans. I soon found an opportunity to leave the room for a little, gave the 10s. to the brother whom I had brought with me from the Orphan-Houses, and who was waiting in another room; and thus, between nine and ten o’clock, sufficient bread could be bought. Observe! For the trial of our faith the Lord had allowed us to be kept waiting so long. When, however, brother Chapman had arrived, having money for the Orphans, he coud not delay giving it at once, a matter most worthy of notice. This has been a week full of trials of faith, but also full of deliverances.
February 25th. Greater than now our need had never been. Our trials of faith have never been so sharp as during this week. Indeed, so much so, that most of the labourers felt to-day considerably tried. Yet not even this day has the Lord suffered us to be confounded. Through a remarkable circumstance one of the labourers obtained some money this morning, so that all the need of to-day could be amply met. In the afternoon a physician of this city kindly sent £1 for the Orphans, which was a sweet proof to us, when we met for prayer, that our kind Father had not forgotten us. Also, on my way to the prayer-meeting at the Orphan-Houses, I received 9s.
February 26th. My prayer this morning was, in particular, that the Lord would be pleased now to look in pity upon us, and take off His hand. Indeed, for several days my prayer has been that He would enable us to continue to trust in Him, and not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. This is now again Saturday. There having been given yesterday a rich supply to the matrons, I knew that not so much as usual would be required this Saturday; still I thought that £1 10s. would be needed. Between ten and eleven o’clock this morning a parcel came from Clapham, containing £2 2s., with various articles of clothing. Thus we were richly supplied for to-day, for only £1 10s. was needed. There was, moreover, half a sovereign put into the box at my house this day by a little boy, and 2s. 6d. came in by sale of articles. Thus we were brought to the close of a week in which more than at any previous time the Lord has been pleased to try our faith. To Him most manifestly we owe it that our faith has not failed completely.
March 5th. Saturday. It was not a small deliverance, that the Lord sent this morning, between ten and eleven o’clock, £2 10s. from Edinburgh, when there were no means in hand to meet this day’s necessities, nay, not even the means to procure a dinner, as only 4s. had come in yesterday. — Evening. About
eight o’clock a gentleman called on me. He said: “I come at a late hour, but I trust not the less acceptable on that account. I bring you a little money for the Orphans.” He then gave me two sovereigns. When I requested him to give me his name, he told me, that if the giving of his name would be of any benefit he would do so, but as it would not, I might simply put down in the Report “Sent,” for he was sure that the Lord had sent him. — I believe it, for the help came most seasonably and in answer to prayer. There was likewise taken out of the box in my house half a-sovereign.
March 9th. At a time of the greatest need, both with regard to the Day-Schools and the Orphans, so much so that we could not have gone on any longer without help, I received this day £10. from a brother who lives near Dublin. The money was divided between the Day-Schools and the Orphan-Houses. The following little circumstance is to be noticed respecting this donation : — As our need was so great, and my soul was, through grace, truly waiting upon the Lord, I looked out for supplies in the course of the morning. The post, however, was in, and no supplies had come. This did not in the least discourage me. I said to myself, the Lord can send means without the post, or even now, though the post is in, by this very delivery of letters He may have sent means, though the money is not yet in my hands. It was not long after I had thus spoken to myself, when, according to my hope in God, we were helped; for the brother-who sent us the £10, had this time directed his letter to the Boys’ Orphan-House, whence it was sent to me.
Worth being Poor.
March 17th. ‘This morning our poverty had become exceedingly great. I left my house a few minutes alter seven to go to the Orphan-Houses, to see whether there was money enough to take in the milk, which is brought about eight o’clock. On my way it was especially my request, that the Lord would be pleased to pity us, even as a father pitieth his children, and that He would not lay more upon us than He would enable us to bear. I especially entreated Him that He would now be pleased to refresh our hearts by sending us help. I likewise reminded Him of the consequences that would result, both in reference to believers and unbelievers, if we should have to give up the work because of want of means, and that He therefore would not permit its coming to nought. I moreover again confessed before the Lord that I deserved not that He should continue to use me in this work any longer. While I was thus in prayer, about two minutes’ walk from the Orphan-Houses, I met a brother who was going at this early hour to his business. After having exchanged a few words with him, I went on; but he presently ran after me, and gave me £1 for the Orphans. Thus the Lord speedily answered my prayer. ‘Truly, it is worth being poor
and greatly tried in faith, for the sake of having day by day such precious proofs of the loving interest which our kind Father takes in everything that concerns us. And how should our Father do otherwise? He who has given us the greatest possible proof of His love which He could have done, in giving us His own Son, surely He will with Him also freely give us all things. It is worth also being poor and greatly tried in faith, if but thereby the hearts of the children of God may be comforted and their faith strengthened; and if but those who do not know God, and who may read or hear of His dealings with us, should be led thereby to see, that faith in God is more than a mere notion, and that there is indeed reality in Christianity.
March 30th. From the 25th up to this day we were poor, with reference to the Orphans, but the Lord helped us. This morning a brother from Devonshire came to stay for a few days with me. He gave me two sovereigns for the Orphans, and told me the following facts in connection with them. Last year he portioned out a piece of ground, for the benefit of the Orphans. Having done so, all the members of the family were gathered together, and he asked with them the Lord’s blessing upon the crop that was to be planted. This prayer was often repeated afterwards, while the crop was known to belong to the Orphans; and the ground yielded a good crop. The potatoes were to have been sent, but it was considered better to sell them for the benefit of the Orphans, and now this brother brought the produce. These two sovereigns came in most seasonably, as they were only just in time to supply the dinner and other necessaries of this day; for when I came with the brother from the railway station to my house, I found an Orphan boy wanting for money, and I had nothing in hand. This evening I received still further from a sister £1 1s. 53d.
This morning we had not one single halfpenny left for our own necessities, when two brethren arrived to stay with us for some days, the one from Somersetshire and the other from the North of Devon. The brother from the North of Devon brought 12s. for my own use from Barnstaple, and also gave £1 to my dear wife this afternoon for our own need. Thus we were again supplied. My mind has been quite in peace on account of our need, and the only inconvenience that we had in this case was that our dinner was about half an hour later than usual. Such a thing, as far as I remember, scarcely ever occurred before, and has never occurred since; but suppose it had, it is well, in some little measure, to know from one’s own experience the meaning of that word, “‘ I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: everywhere and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” (Philip. iv. 12.)
April 9th. Saturday. We needed more money than there was in hand, especially as it was Saturday, but the Lord was
pleased particularly to try our faith. In the course of the morning there came, from some sisters in Dublin, 18 yards of calico, 34 yards of print, 43 balls of cotton, and a pair of worn lady’s boots. This donation came most seasonably, as we had been mentioning repeatedly the need of calico and print in our prayers; and the sewing-cotton and the pair of boots came at once into use. Moreover, this donation was a sweet encouragement to me to continue waiting upon the Lord. Evening was now approaching, and no money had yet come in for provisions etc., which would be needed on the Lord’s day. About six o’clock I gave myself once more to prayer with my wife, and requested the Lord in my prayer that if the sister, who in love to Him has taken upon her the service of disposing of the articles which are given for sale, had any money in hand, He would be pleased to incline her heart to bring or send the money this evening. After this I sat down peaceably to read the Scriptures, being assured that this time also the Lord would stretch out His hand on our behalf. About half-past seven o’clock the sister to whom reference has just now been made, came and brought £1 10s. 4d., for articles which she had sold, stating that though she was unwell, yet she felt herself constrained not to delay bringing this money. Thus we had all that was needed, and 6s. more. When I arrived with the money at the Infant Orphan-House, about eight o’clock, I found my fellow-labourers in prayer, and while we still continued in prayer a sister sent a large basket of stale bread, being five brown loaves, seven bread cakes, and five French loaves.
April 12th. We were never in greater need than to-day, perhaps never in so much, when I received this morning £100 from the Kast Indies. It is impossible to describe the real joy in God it gave me. My prayer had been again this morning particularly, that our Father would pity us, and now at last send larger sums. J was not in the least surprised or eacited when this donation came, for I took it as that which came in answer to prayer, and had been long looked for. As it was left to me to use the money as might be most needed, I took one half of it for the Orphan Fund, and the other half for the other Funds. We have thus also an answer to our prayer for oatmeal, new shoes, and for means to enable us to have the old shoes mended, means for replenishing somewhat our stores, money for some articles of clothing for the children, and also a little money for the sisters who labour in the Orphan-Houses. How precious to look to the Lord! I was always sure He would at last send larger sums, therefore had my heart been kept in peace, though my faith had never been more tried than during the last months.
May 6th. Only £3 10s. 23d. had been received since the 2nd, on which account there would have been only enough means in hand to provide for the breakfast to-morrow morning, when in this our fresh need £80 was sent by the same brother who has been spoken of under June 4th, 1841; also £6 from Great Malvern.
The half of this £80 was put to the Orphan-Fund, and the other half to the other Funds. The donation from Great Malvern was put to the fund for the other Objects.
May 10th, 1842, to March 30th, 1845.
May 10th. There has come in £6 15s. 10d. more since the 6th. To-day, in closing the accounts, we have left at the end of this period of seventeen months, in which we have been so often penniless, the sum of £16 18s. 103d. for the Orphans, and £48 12s. 54d. for. the other Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution.
The time now seemed to us to have come, when, for the profit of the Church at large, the Lord’s dealings with us, with reference to the various Objects of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, should be made known by publishing another Report. For, whilst we, on purpose, had delayed it at this time five months longer than during the previous years, and that during a period when we were in deeper poverty than during any previous time; yet, as from the commencement it had appeared to me important from time to time to make known the Lord’s dealings with us, so I judged it profitable still, to seek to comfort, to encourage, to exhort, to instruct, and to warn the dear children of God by the printed accounts of the Lord’s goodness to us.
Though our trials of faith during these seventeen months lasted longer, and were sharper than during any previous period, yet during all this time the Orphans had everything that was needful in the way of nourishing food, the necessary articles of clothing, ete. Indeed I would rather at once send the children back to their relatives than keep them without sufficient maintenance.
Remarks on Faith.
I desire that all the children of God, who may read these details, may thereby be led to increased and more simple confidence in God for everything which they may need under any circumstances, and that these many answers to prayer may encourage them to pray, particularly as regards the conversion of their friends and relatives, their own progress in grace and knowledge, the state of the saints whom they may know personally, the state of the Church of God at large, and the success of the preaching of the Gospel. Especially I affectionately warn them against being led away by the device of Satan, to think that these things are peculiar to me, and cannot be enjoyed by all the children of God; for though, as has been stated before, every believer is not called upon to establish Orphan-Houses, Charity Schools, etc., and trust im the Lord for means, yet all believers are called upon, in the simple confidence of faith, to cast all their burdens upon Him, to trust in Him for everything, and not only to make everything a subject of prayer, but to expect
answers to their petitions which they have asked according to His will, and in the name of the Lord Jesus — Think not, dear reader, that I have the gift of faith, that is, that gift of which we read in 1 Cor. xii. 9, and which is mentioned along with “the gifts of healing,” “the working of miracles,” “prophecy,” and that on that account I am able to trust in the Lord. It is true that the faith, which I am enabled to exercise, is altogether God’s own gift; it is true that He alone supports it, and that He alone can increase it; it is true that, moment by moment, I depend upon Him for it, and that, if I were only one moment left to myself, my faith would utterly fail; but 2 is not true that my faith is that gift of faith which is spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9, for the following reasons.
(1) The faith which I am enabled to exercise with reference to the Orphan-Houses and my own temporal necessities, 1s not that “faith of which it is said in 1 Cor. xiii. 2 (evidently in allusion to the faith spoken of in 1 Cor. xii. 9), “Though I have all faith, so that T could remove mountains, and have not charity (love), I am nothing;” but it is the self-same faith which is found in every believer, and the growth of which I am most sensible of to myself; for, by little and little, it has been increasing for the last sixty-nine years. [In 1895].
(2) This faith, which is exercised respecting the Orphan-Houses and my own temporal necessities, shows itself in the same measure, for instance, concerning the following points: T have never been permitted to doubt during the last sixty-nine years that my sins are forgiven, that I am a child of God, that I am beloved of God, and that I shall be finally saved; because I am enabled, by the grace of God, to exercise faith in the Word of God, and believe what God says settles these matters (Gal. ii. 26 — Acts x. 43 — Romans x. 9, 10 — John iti. 16, etc.).
Further, when my brother in the flesh, and my dear aged father died, and when concerning both of them I had no evidence whatever that they were saved (though I dare not say that they are lost, for I know it not); yet my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace, under this great trial, this exceedingly great trial, this trial which is one of the greatest, perhaps, which can befall a believer. And what was it that gave me peace? My soul laid hold on that word, “Shall not the judge of all the earth do right?”” This word, together with the whole character of God, as He has revealed Himself in His holy Word, settled all questionings. I believed what He has said concerning Himself, and I was at peace, and have been so ever since, concerning this matter.
Further, when the Lord took from me a beloved infant, my soul was at peace, perfectly at peace; I could only weep tears of joy when I did weep. And why? Because my soul laid hold in faith on that word: “Of such is the kingdom of Heaven” (Matthew xix. 14). Believing, therefore, as I did upon the ground of this word, my soul rejoiced, instead of mourning, that my infant was far happier with the Lord, than with me.
Further, when sometimes all has been dark, exceedingly dark, with reference to my service among the saints, judging from natural appearances; yea, when I should have been overwhelmed indeed in grief and despair, had I looked at things after the outward appearance: at such times I have sought to encourage myself in God, by laying hold in faith on His mighty power, His unchangeable love, and His infinite wisdom, and I have said to myself: God is able and willing to deliver me, if it be good for me; for it is written: “He that spared not His own Son, but delivered Him wp for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things?” (Rom. viii. 32).
From my inmost soul I do ascribe it to God alone that He has enabled me to trust in Him, and that He has not suffered my confidence in Him to fail. But I thought it needful to make these remarks, lest anyone should think that my depending upon God was a particular gift given to me, which other saints have no right to look for; or lest it should be thought that this my depending upon Him had only to do with the obtaining of MONEY by prayer and faith. By the grace of God I desire that my faith in God should extend towards Every thing, the smallest of my own temporal and spiritual concerns, and the smallest of the temporal and spiritual concerns of my family, towards the saints among whom I labour, the church at large, everything that has to do with the temporal and spiritual prosperity of the Scriptural Knowledge Institution, ete. Dear reader, do not think that I have attained in faith (and how much less in other respects!) to that degree to which I might and ought to attain.
Lastly, let not Satan deceive you in making you think that you could not have the same faith, but that it is only for persons who are situated as I am. When I lose such a thing as a key, Task the Lord to direct me to it, and I look for an answer to my prayer; when a person with whom I have made an appointment does not come at the fixed time, and I begin to be inconvenienced by it, I ask the Lord to be pleased to hasten him to me, and I look for an answer; when I do not understand a passage of the Word of God, I lift up my heart to the Lord, that He would be pleased, by His holy Spirit, to instruct me, and I expect to be taught, though I do not fix the time when, and the manner how, it should be; when I am going to minister in the Word, I seek help from the Lord, and while J, in the consciousness of natural inability as well as utter unworthiness, begin this His service, I am not cast down, but of good cheer, because I look for His assistance, and believe that He, for His dear Son’ssake, will help me. Oh! I beseech you, do not think me an extraordinary believer, having privileges above other of God’s dear children, which they cannot have; nor look on my way of acting as something that would not do for other believers. Make but trial! Do but stand still in the hour of trial, and you will see the help
of God, if you trust in Him. But there is so often a forsaking the ways of the Lord in the hour of trial, and thus the food of farth, the means whereby our faith may be increased, is lost.
How Faith may be Strengthened.
This leads me to the following important point. You ask, “How may I, a true believer, have my faith strengthened?” The answer is this:
I. “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James i. 17). As the increase of faith is a good gift, it must come from God, and therefore He ought to be asked for this blessing.
IT. The following means, however, ought to be used : —
(1) The careful reading of the Word of God, combined with meditation on vt. Through reading of the Word of God, and especially through meditation on the Word of God, the believer becomes more and more acquainted with the nature and character of God, and thus sees more and more, besides His holiness and justice, what a kind, loving, gracious, merciful, mighty, wise, and faithful Being He is, and, therefore, in poverty, affliction of body, bereavement in his family, difficulty in his service, want of a situation or employment, he will repose upon the ability of God to help him, because he has not only learned from His Word that He is of almighty power and infinite wisdom, but he has also seen instance upon instance in the Holy Scriptures in which His almighty power and infinite wisdom have been actually exercised in helping and delivering His people; and he will repose upon the willingness of God to help him, because he has not only learned from the Scriptures what a kind, good, merciful, gracious, and faithful Being God is, but because he has also seen in the Word of God, how in a great variety of instances He has proved Himself to be so. And the consideration of this, if God has become known to us through prayer and meditation on His own Word, will lead us, in general at least, with a measure of confidence to rely upon Him: and thus meditation on the Word of God, will be one special means to strengthen our faitn.
(2) As with reference to the growth of every grace of the Spirit, it is of the utmost importance that we seek to maintain an upright heart and a good conscience, and, therefore, do not knowingly and habitually indulge in those things which are contrary to the mind of God, so it is also particularly the case with reference to the growth in faith. How can I possibly continue to act in faith upon God, concerning anything, if I am habitually grieving Him, and seek to detract from the glory and honour of Him in whom I profess to trust, upon whom I profess to depend? All my confidence towards God, all my leaning upon Him in the hour of trial, will be gone, if I have a guilty conscience, and do not seek to put away this guilty conscience, but still continue to do things which are contrary to the mind of God. And if, in any particular instance, 1 cannot trust in God, because of the guilty conscience, then my faith is weakened by that instance of distrust; for faith with every fresh trial of it, either increases by trusting God, and thus getting help, or it decreases by not trusting Him; and then there is less and less power of looking simply and directly to Him, and a habit of self-dependence is begotten or encouraged. One or the other of these will always be the case in each particular instance. Hither we trust in God, and in that case we neither trust in ourselves, nor in our fellow-men, nor in circumstances, nor in anything besides; or we Do trust in one or more of these, and in that case do Nor trust in God.
(3) If we, indeed, desire our faith to be strengthened, we should not shrink from opportunities where our faith may be tried, and, therefore, through the trial, be strengthened. In our natural state we dislike dealing with God alone. Through our natural alienation from God we shrink from Him, and from eternal realities. This cleaves to us, more or less, even alter our regeneration. Hence it is, that more or less, even as believers, we have the same shrinking from standing with God alone, — from depending upon Him alone, — from looking to Him alone: — - and yet this is the very position in which we ought to be, if we wish our faith to be strengthened. The more I am in a position to be tried in faith with reference to my body, my family, my service for the Lord, my business, etc., the more shall I have opportunity of seeing God’s help and deliverance; and every fresh instance, in which He helps and delivers me, will tend towards the increase of my faith. On this account, therefore, the believer should not shrink from situations, positions, circumstances, in which his faith may be tried; but should cheerfully embrace them as opportunities where he may see the hand of God stretched out on his behalf, to help and deliver him, and whereby he may thus have his faith strengthened.
(4) The last important point for the strengthening of our faith is, that we let God work for us, when the hour of the trial of our faith comes, and do not work a deliverance of our own. Wherever God has given faith, it is given, among other reasons, for the very purpose of being tried. Yea, however weak our faith may be, God will try it; only with this restriction, that as in every way He leads on gently, gradually, patiently, so also with reference to the trial of our faith. At first our faith will be tried very little in comparison with what it may be afterwards; for God never lays more upon us than He is willing to enable us to bear. Now when the trial of faith comes, we are naturally inclined to distrust God, and to trust rather in ourselves, or in our friends, or in circumstances. We will rather work a deliverance of our own somehow or other, than simply look to God and wait for His help. But if we do not patiently wait for God’s
help, if we work a deliverance of our own, then at the next trial of our faith it will be thus again, we shall be again inclined to deliver ourselves; and thus, with every fresh instance of that kind, our faith will decrease; whilst, on the contrary, were we to stand still, in order to see the salvation of God, to see His hand stretched out on our behalf, trusting in Him alone, then our faith would be increased, and, with every fresh case in which the hand of God is stretched out on our behalfin the hour of the trial of our faith, our faith would be increased yet more. Would the believer, therefore, have his faith strengthened, he must, especially, give tame to God, who tries his faith in order to prove to His child, in the end, how willing He is to help and deliver him, the moment it is good for him.
Jowrnal resumed.
May 11th, 1842, When the accounts were closed last evening, the balance in hand for the Orphans‘was £16 18s. 103d., though the actual amount for use at present is only £6 8s. 104d.,as £10 10s. is put by for the rent. — With this £6 8s. 104d. therefore we had to begin again the work, whilst there were 107 persons to be provided for with all they required.
June 6th. Monday. There was now no money at all in hand. I had therefore asked the Lord for fresh supplies, and since Saturday afternoon the following sums have come in: By sale of articles £1 4s., from an aged servant, ill in a mortal disease, £4.
This morning I received from A. B. £50, to be laid out as it might be most useful. I took the whole of this sum for the other Objects, as the disposal of it was left to me; by this I am enabled to order a fresh supply of tracts, some Bibles and Testaments, and to give something to the brethren and sisters who labour in the Day Schools, who are much in need of some supply. The stock of Bibles, as far as I remember, has not been smaller than it is now, for several years; there is likewise only a small quantity of tracts left, and the demand for them is great on the part of brethren who gratuitously circulate them. How kind, therefore, of the Lord to give us this supply! If our work be His work, He is sure to provide the means for it!
June 15th. As since the 12th only £1 13s. 6d. had come in, there was now again no money in hand for the need of to-morrow. I gave myself therefore to prayer. Immediately after I had risen from my knees, I was told that some money had been put into the box at my house, I found it to be a sovereign.
June 18th. Having had to meet the expenses of the funeral of a dear Orphan boy, who, after having been two years in fellowship with the saints, and walked consistently, had fallen asleep, all means were now again gone, when an Irish lady sent this morning £10, £8 for the Orphans, and £2 for my own use.
From July 13th to 19th the Lord sent in £22 5s. 10d., and on July 19th I left Bristol for a season, being able, through grace, to leave the work in His hands, and feeling assured that He would provide while I was absent from Bristol; and truly the Lord did not suffer me to be disappointed. For during the time of my absence, from July 19th to Sept. 10th, whilst I was labouring at Barnstaple, and in the neighbourhood of Bideford, the Lord richly furnished us with means, though twice during that period we were quite poor.
From September 10th to 28th the Lord supplied our need richly. There came in altogether during these 18 days £92 19s. 4d.
October Ist. Yesterday afternoon £1 came in from Kensington, and this morning by sale of articles 2s. 6d., and 5s. was put into the box at my house. Thus we had, with what was left, something towards the necessities of this day, but not enough, as this is Saturday. As the Lord, however, had given me both yesterday and this morning prayer and faith with reference to the need, I was looking out for help, when at half-past ten this morning a small parcel was left anonymously at my house, it contained a £5 note, a gold chain, and an old 5s. piece, to be used for the Orphans. The Lord be praised who disposed the heart of the unknown donor at so seasonable an hour to send this donation! Half-an-hour after I had received the little parcel, I was called upon for money, and was thus able to supply the need of to-day, and have something left towards the beginning of the week; so that, whilst the day commenced without there being enough to meet its expenses, we received several pounds more than was needed.
October 11th. The Lord has kindly multiplied the 3s. 5d., which was all that was left after the necessities of yesterday were met. A brother in the Lord from Bath called yesterday at one of the Orphan-Houses and gave £5 as a donation, besides 8s. 3d. for reports. Also by a clergyman near Cirencester was sent 5s., and this morning came a Post-Office order for 10s. from Crediton, and 6d. was given by a sister in Bristol. My dear reader, pause and admire the hand of the Lord! Day alter day He helps us! His help never fails, nor is it ever too late! We may be poor, very poor; but when the help is really needed, the Lord opens His bountiful hand and supplies our need! The help may come in a variety of ways, but it is certain! It may be that He allows us to wait long on Him, and pray very often, whilst He appears not to be mindful of us; yet in the end, in His own appointed and best time, the help comes. Dear reader, if you know the Lord, and you have not a similar experience, be it known to you, that you may have the same in your sphere of labour or service, though you may not be called by the Lord to establish Orphan-Houses, or Day Schools, or Adult Schools, or Sunday Schools, or circulate Bibles and Tracts in an extensive way. Make but trial of this way, and you will see how truly precious it is to wait upon the Lord for every thing, even for the bread which perishes. Should you, dear
reader, not be reconciled with God through faith in the Lord Jesus, then you should know, that this precious privilege belongs to him who becomes a child of God by faith in the Lord Jesus, that he may come to his Heavenly Father for everything, and that his Father delights in giving him all he can need while here in the world.
October 15th. Saturday. Yesterday arrived from Gloucestershire the following letter : —
““My dear Brother,
“As I have no doubt on my own mind, but the Orphans are in present need, the enclosed £5 is sent by the constraining power of the Lord through me.
“Yours affectionately,
kok?
The money came indeed in a time of need; for though we had about enough for yesterday’s necessities, there was nothing for to-day’s demands, which are £5 5s.
October 24th. Monday. The necessities of the 22nd, being Saturday, called for all the money that was left, about £3. Not one farthing was then remaining in my hands. And now observe, dear reader, how the Lord helped, and praise Him with me, that He always causes the stream to flow again, when there is need. On the same day on which the last money was given out, the day before yesterday, there was handed over to me £1 2s, 9d. for sale of articles. Yesterday I received through a sister, from an Indian gentleman and lady, two sovereigns, and one from herself, being the produce of a piece of work, which she had done for the benefit of the Orphans. A poor brother also gave me 3s. To-day I received the following anonymous note : —
‘“* Beloved Brother, “The enclosed £35 was given to the Lord some time since. It was received for service done according to Eph. vi. 7; and believing that laying up treasures for myself upon earth (having enough for my own necessities without it) would be disobedience to Matthew vi. 19, I put it into your hands. You will kindly dispose of it as the Lord may direct you. “Yours in the Lord Jesus.
“You will oblige me by receiving £10 of the enclosed for your
own need, or that of your family.”
This money came in most seasonably. The Lord inspecting the Stores. October 29th. The need of to-day is £5 5s. We should not have had enough, humanly speaking, had there not been sent yesterday afternoon £5 from Hull, as on the 26th and 28th only
£3 5s. 5d. had come in; so that there was only £3 Os. 64d. in hand when this £5 came. There came in still further to-day
£1 12s. 4d. How kindly does the Lord, as it were, day by day inspect our stores! He, in general, does not supply our need for many months at once; in order both that He Himself may often have the joy of our calling upon Him for the supplies we need; and that He may give unto us the joy of obtaining our supplies day by day in answer to prayer; and that thus also other children of God may be encouraged to wait upon Him for all they may need.
November 16th. After the need of yesterday had been provided for, and I now again had nothing in hand, I received for Reports 1s., and from a believing clergyman £1. — When, this morning, after I had been asking the Lord for means, the post brought none, I fell again on my knees, further beseeching Him to supply me with fresh means, as for several days little had come in. I especially also told Him, that, though the post was now in, yet He could in various ways send help. It was ONLY A FEW MINUTES AFTER, when brother C. B. brought me £1 3s. which just then had been given to him for the Orphans. About an hour afterwards two brethren called on me, the one from Wiltshire, the other from Hssex, they stayed with me some time, and on leaving gave me £2 10s. for the Orphans. In the evening I saw still further that the Lord had not only not disregarded my prayers in the morning, but also that He was not confined to sending means by the post. A sister called on me, and brought me, for several purposes, twelve sovereigns, of which six are to be applied for the benefit of the Orphans.
November 29th. ‘This morning I took a shilling out of an Orphan-box at my house, which was all we had wherewith to commence the day. Just aT THE MomzNtT when the letter-bag was sent to me from the Orphan-Houses, with the statement of what would be required for this day, I received a Post-Office order from Barnstaple for £1. Thus the Lord, in His faithful love, has sent a little, for which I had been waiting upon Him. Through His grace my heart is looking out for more, for I am sure He will never forsake us.
December 2nd. By the produce of six old silver coins, which I received last evening, and by 9s. 6d. which came in besides, we were able to meet the expenses of to-day; but now there were before us the heavy expenses of to-morrow, Saturday. In this our need there came in this evening from Lutterworth and its neighbourhood two donations, one of £5, and the other of £1. This afternoon a gentleman passed the Girls’ Orphan-House. The house door being opened, he rolled half-a-crown into the house. ‘This half-crown came in when there was nothing at all in hand.:
December 9th. There was again nothing at all in hand this morning to meet the expenses of the day. A little after ten o’clock an Orphan arrived from Northam, with whom there was sent for my own personal necessities 10s., and £2 2s. 4d. besides.
December 14th. There was now again only ONE PENNY in my hands this morning. About eleven o’clock I received a note enclosing 2s. and 10s.
December 15th. Only 2s. 3d., the contents of an Orphan-box, £1 by sale of stockings, 2s. 1yd. from the boxes in the Orphan-Houses, have come in. ‘This, with 5s. which one of the labourers was able to give, supplied the need of to-day.
December 16th. Nothing has come in. All we had was 3s. 5d., which one of the labourers was able to give. At six o’clock this evening, our need being now very great, not only with reference to the Orphan-Houses, but also the Day Schools, ete., I gave myself with two of the labourers to prayer. There needed some money to come in before eight o’clock to-morrow morning, as there was none to take in the milk for breakfast, to say nothing about the many other demands of to-morrow, being Saturday. Our hearts were at peace, while asking the Lord, and assured that our Father would supply our need. Wr HAD SCARCELY RISEN FROM OUR KNEES, when I received a letter containing a sovereign for the Orphans, half of which was from a young Kast India officer, and the other half the produce of the sale of a piece of work, which the sister, who sent the money, had made for the benefit of the Orphans. She wrote: “I love to send these little gifts. They so often come in season.” Truly, thus it was at this time — About five minutes later I received from a brother the promise of £50 for the Orphans, to be given during the next week; and a quarter of an hour after that, about seven o’clock, a brother gave me a sovereign, which an Itish sister in the Lord had left this day, on her departure for Dublin, for the benefit of the Orphans. How sweet and precious to see thus so manifestly the willingness of the Lord to answer the prayers of His needy children!
December 19th. Yesterday there came in by the sale of ladies’ bags £1, and in two donations £2. By this, making £5 7s. which came in since Saturday evening, we should have had enough for the ordinary household expenses of to-day; but as our stores of oatmeal, rice, peas, and Scotch barley are either entirely or nearly exhausted, and as some calico and other little articles are needed, and as especially the teachers in the Day Schools are greatly in need of pecuniary supplies, I had been especially entreating the Lord, that He would be pleased to send us larger supplies. I rose from my knees about half-past ten this morning, and about a quarter to eleven I received a letter from A. B. with an order for £100, to be used as most needed in the work. Of this sum I took for the Orphans only £25, and for the other Funds £75 (in consideration of £50 having been promised to be paid this week for the Orphans); and thus we are in every way again most seasonably helped. “‘ Bless the Lord, O my sow, and forget not all His benefits!”
December 22nd. Though there had come in above £36 for the
Orphans, during the last four days, yet as our stores needed to be replenished, and there had been several other expenses to be met, we were again to-day in need of further supplies, when I received the £50 for the Orphans, which had been promised during the last week. Thus I was able also to supply the labourers in the Orphan-Houses with some money for their own personal need.
As to the supply of my temporal necessities, the Lord has been pleased to send me this year £329 16s.
ISIS.
January 21st. From December 22nd up to this day the Lord was pleased to send in the donations for the Orphans so, that there was always some money received, before all was expended.
February 4th. This morning a brother gave to me £1. Thus we have £1 7s; but as this is not nearly enough for to-day, we have given ourselves still further to prayer, and are now looking for supplies. While I am writing this, the Orphan has brought the letter-bag to fetch £2 15s., which is the need of to-day; I am therefore looking out for help to make up this sum. — I opened the boxes in my house, and found in them 3s. 6d. With this £1 10s. 6d. I had to send off the boy, and waited for further supplies. — This afternoon there came in by sale of articles £1 4s. 7d. Thus we had enough, and one penny more than was needed, and we are brought to the close of another week. O-Lord, how can Thy servant sufficiently praise Thee for condescending so to listen to his requests? His soul is amazed at Thy condescension, and yet not amazed when he considers that Thou doest it for the sake of Thy dear Son, in whom Thou dost continually look upon Thy servant!
February 11th. We had in hand £1 14s. towards the expenses of this day. But, as this was not enough, I asked the Lord still further for help, and, behold, this morning’s post brought me a Post-Office order for £2 from Stafford, of which £1 7s. 6d. is for the Orphans. Thus we have £3 Is. 6d., which is quite enough for this day.
Admire with me, my dear reader, if you know the Lord, His seasonable help. Why does this Post-Office order not come a few days sooner or later? Because the Lord would help us by means of it, and therefore influences the donor just then, and not sooner or later, to send it. Surely, all who know the Lord, and who have no interest in disowning it, cannot but see His hand in a remarkable manner in this work.
That the Lord should use for so glorious a service one so vile, so unfaithful, so altogether unworthy of the least notice as I am, I can only ascribe to the riches of His condescending grace, m which He takes up the most unlikely instruments, that the honour may be manifestly His,
February 14th. Nothing was in hand when money was sent for, except 1s. 6d., which was sent up from the Orphan-Houses, by the messenger who came for this day’s supplies, and which had been received yesterday at the Infants’ Orphan-House. I opened the boxes at my house, and found ls. in them. WHILE THE BOY WAS WAITING FOR THE MONEY, the sister who sells the articles which are given to be sold for the benefit of the Orphans, and who knows nothing about our present need, came and brought 12s. for some things which she had sold. With this 14s. 6d. we are able to supply the need of to-day, as nothing but some bread and milk require to be purchased.
February 18th. This morning between seven and eight o’clock T took 8s. 9d., which came in last night, to the Orphan-Houses, so that we were supplied for the breakfast. We had now to look to the Lord for several pounds, to meet the demands of this day, being Saturday. Between ten and eleven o’clock I again with my wife besought the Lord. entreating Him, that He would be pleased to help us, when a FEW MINUTES AFTER, in this our great need, I received by the first delivery a letter from Barnstaple containing £5 for the Orphans. How truly precious, to see thus so manifestly the hand of God day by day stretched out on our behalf!
February 23rd. This morning the bag was brought for money, but I had nothing in hand. WuHiILst THE BOY WHO BROUGHT THE LETTER BAG WAS WAITING, to receive the answer, the sister who disposes of the articles which are given for sale (and who was no more acquainted with the state of our funds than any other person) brought 11s. 4d.
A Donors Mind deeply worked wpon.
February 24th. Nothing more came in, in the course of yesterday morning, but a little after four o’clock I received a letter from Jersey, containing a Post-Office order for £1 for the Orphans. The donor writes thus: “‘ Herewith you will find a Post-Office order for £1, being this year’s subscription. I had a desire to defer it to the Ist of June, but owing to my mind having been deeply worked on the present day, that this was the acceptable time, I make no scruple of availing myself of this evening’s post, which I hope will be acceptable.” How manifest is the hand of the Lord in this matter! He stirs up this donor, who lives at such a distance, to remember our need.
February 27th. Monday. Nothing at all has come jn since Saturday. When therefore this day began, we had no means to provide what was needed. My comfort, however, was, that our Father knew that we were needy, and that kept me at this time also in peace. Between ten and eleven o’clock this morning I received £1 10s. from Guernsey. The brother who sent the money, writes, that he had delayed in sending it, and hoped that ‘this was the Lord’s time,” which indeed it is, for we are thus supplied for this day.
March Ist. There came in this morning by sale of some articles £1 5s. About dinner time a clergyman, who had had one of my Narratives lent to him by one of the labourers in the Orphan-Houses, returned it with £1 10s. for the Orphans, from himself and his two sisters. Thus we were again provided with all we needed for to-day. — This evening the Lord helped still further. I received with Hecles. ix. 10, £3. From sister M. B. there came £1, by knitting of the Infant Orphans 38s. 6d., and by two donations 6s.
A Gift of £500 from a poor Woman.
March 8th. To-day we required £3 10s. to supply comfortably all that was needed in the Orphan-Houses, but only £2 Is. 10d. was in hand. How kind therefore of the Lord to send me a large donation, whereby we were richly supplied! The particulars of it are these: On October 25th, 1842, I had a long conversation with a sister in the Lord, who opened her heart to me. On leaving me I told her (because I thought it might prove a comfort to her at some future time), that my house and my purse were hers, and that I should be glad if she would have one purse with me. This I said, I repeat, because I judged that at some future time it might prove a comfort to her in an hour of trial, having at the same time (to judge from a circumstance which had occurred two days before) every reason to believe that she had not £5 of her own. This sister, after I had said so, readily took me at my word, and said, I shall be glad of it, adding presently that she had £500. The moment I heard that, I drew back, and said, that had I known that she had any money, I should not have made her this offer, and then gave her my reason why I had supposed she had no property at all. She then assured me that she possessed £500, and that she had never seen it right to give up this money, else she would have done so; but that as God had put this sum into her hands without her seeking, she thought that it was a provision which the Lord had made for her. I replied scarcely anything to this; but she asked me to pray for her with reference to this matter. This whole conversation about the money occupied but very few minutes, and it all took place after the sister had risen to leave me.
After she was gone, I asked the Lord, to be pleased to make this dear sister so happy in Himself, and enable her so to realize her true riches and inheritance in the Lord Jesus, and the reality of her heavenly calling, that she might be constrained by the love of Christ, cheerfully to lay down this £500 at His feet. From that time I repeated this my request before the Lord dazly, and often two, three, or four times a day; but not a single word or line passed between me and this sister on the subject, nor did I even see her; for I judged that it would be far better that she retained this money, than that by persuasion she should give it up, and afterwards perhaps regret the step she had taken, and thereby more dishonour than honour be brought on the name of the Lord. After I had thus for 24 days daily besought the Lord on behalf of this sister, I found her one day, on returning home, at my house, when she told me, that she wished to see me alone. She then said to me, that from the time she had Jast conversed with me, she had sought to ascertain the Lord’s will with reference to the £500, and had examined the Scriptures, and prayed about it, and that she was now assured that it was the will of the Lord she should give up this money. After she had told me this, I exhorted her, well to count the cost, and to do nothing rashly lest she should regret the step she had taken, and to wait at least a fortnight longer before she carried out her intention. Thus we separated. On the 18th day after this conversation I received the following letter:
“* Dear Brother,
“I believe the Lord has not permitted you to grow weary of remembering me, but that He has still enabled you to bear me upon your heart in His presence. All is well with me, dear brother. Your petitions have been heard and answered; I am happy and at peace. The Lord has indeed manifested His tender care of, and His great love towards me in Jesus, in inclining my heart cheerfully to lay ail, I have hitherto called my own, at His feet. It is a high privilege.
“«T write in haste to ask you (as we have now one purse) to receive the money at a bank in Bristol; I will direct it to be sent in my name, to be delivered into your hands, etc.”
As I desired to relate the whole circumstance only for the profit of the reader, and as I knew that the sister still had my letters on the subject in her possession, I wrote to her, requesting her to send them to me, at the time when I published the last account about the Orphan-House, etc., and extracts of them were given in the Report, in so far as they might refer to the subject, or tend to edification. These extracts are here reprinted. My reply to the above was this:
“21, Paul Street, Kingsdown, Bristol,
“My dear Sister, Dec. 6th, 1842.
“Your letter found me in peace, and did not in the least surprise me. Dealing with God is a reality. Saints have power with Him through Jesus. It is now forty-two days since you first mentioned this matter to me. I cannot but admire the wisdom of God and His love to you in allowing me to speak to you as I did (i.e. offering her to have one purse with me, when I thought she had no earthly possessions at all), that thus this great privilege might be bestowed upon you, of giving up this little sum for Him. Since that hour I have daily prayed for you, and often thrice or more in the course of the day, that the Lord would make you so happy in Himself, and help you with such faith to lay hold on all which He has given you in Jesus, that you might be constrained by love, cheerfully to lay down this little sum at His feet. Thus I prayed again at six o’clock this morning for you. Nor have I had the least doubt from the commencement, that the Lord did hear my prayer; yea, so fully have I been assured that I had the petition, that again and again I have thanked Him that He had answered my prayer, before I saw you eighteen days since, and before your letter came this morning. Moreover, I have been fully assured since you were last here, that He was carrying on His work in your soul with reference to this matter, and that no subtle suggestions of Satan, nor educational prejudices, nor misinterpretations of the Scriptures, would prevail; for I had asked the Lord, by His Spirit to overcome them in you, and that, if a brother’s word should be needed, He would be pleased to incline your heart to write to me: and, as no letter came, I felt fully confident you were going forward in this matter in peace. When I had seen you this day six weeks, and learned about this little sum, I determined, never to say or write to you another word on the subject, but to leave you in the hands of the Lord. Thus I purposed again during the last eighteen days: for it was not the money given wp, that I cared for in you, but the money given wp unto the Lord, and from right motives. On this very account I advised you to wait one fortnight longer, though you had come to the conclusion; but now, having done so, and seeing that you are fully purposed in the Lord to be poor in this world indeed, that the more abundantly you may enjoy His riches, His inexhaustible riches, I change my advice. My word now, beloved sister, is this: ‘ Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with thy might, and ‘If ye know these things, happy are ye if ye do them. Delay then no longer, even as also you have no desire to delay: and the Lord will bless you abundantly in doing so, inasmuch as you do it unto Him. As you desire to entrust me with this money, I do not refuse it, knowing many ways to lay it out for Him. Ete.”
On December 18th, 1842, I received a reply to my letter. It was begun to be written on December 8th, but finished on the 16th. I give a few extracts from it:
“Since I last saw you, I have not had the slightest doubt as to what I ought to do: the Word of God has been so clear to me on this head, that I have been kept resting on it; and, in answer to your prayers, no temptation has been allowed to prevail; indeed, I think I may add, to arise. But I feel that temptations may come, and that I may in seasons of trial not always have faith to be able to rejoice in this privilege. My heart is so deceitful and my faith so weak, that I shall greatly need your prayers still. Will you then, if the Lord enables you, pray that I may never offend my Father by regretting in the Jeast measure this act of obedience, which He has by His grace inclined me to carry out. I shall pray the Lord still to lay me on your heart. I felt so sure that you were helped to pray for me, that I had thanked the Lord for His grace. I am glad you did not write, although I much value your advice; but I wished to be led by the Lord alone, after He had used you as the instrument in the first instance, and in such a way too, that I am quite sure He intended to bless you to my soul in this matter. I have asked my heart whether I am really doing this to Him. My heart assures me that I am, and not from any other motive than obedience to the written Word. Before I ever saw you I had asked the Lord to make me willing to give this little sum into your hands, if it were His will I should; but His time to make me willing had not then come; even then I had in a measure given it to you, having written a paper, desiring in case I should fall asleep in Jesus, that you might get possession of it; I had it signed by two witnesses, and I always carried it about with me when I travelled, sealed and directed to you. When I wrote this, I little thought what grace the Lord had in store for me. You will forgive my being thus tedious, but I am sure you will praise the Lord with me for His gracious dealings with me. Etc.”
At the end of this letter, the sister tells me, that unexpectedly a hindrance had arisen to her having possession of the money, so that it was not likely it could be paid over to me till about the end of January, 1843.
When this letter came, it would have been naturally a great disappointment to me, as the sister had told me in a previous letter that the money should be paid into my hands, and as just at that time in a variety of ways it was desirable that I should have considerable sums. The Lord, however, enabled me immediately to lay hold on that word, “We know that all things work: together for good to them that love God” (Rom. viii. 28), and my soul was in peace, though we had only enough money in hand to provide for one or at the most for two days the necessary provisions in the Orphan-Houses. It was but the next day, December 19th, 1842, when I received £100 from A. B., and on. December 22nd, I received £50 from a brother in Bristol, besides other donations: so that within one week, after I had had grace to delight myself in the will of God, He gave me about £200, whereby I was able to meet all the heavy expenses of replenishing the stores, etc., on account of which I should naturally have been tried in the payment of the money being delayed.
In reply I wrote another letter on December 31st, 1842, of which I give an extract on this subject:
“The hand of the Lord is indeed most manifestly to be seen in this matter, concerning the money; the way in which your own mind was led; my speaking under the circumstances as I did, when you had already risen to leave the room; the reason why J did so, i.e. mere sympathy with your circumstances, and thinking that some. day or other my brotherly offer might be a comfort to you, though you should never need it, and all this when I believed that at that time you did not possess £5. — I have continued to pray for you, or rather the Lord has enabled me every day once, twice, thrice, or even more, to remember you. The burden of my prayer still has been, that He would be pleased to make you very happy in Himself, and enable you to enter into the inheritance which awaits you; further, that you may not be permitted in the least to regret the step which you have taken, but rather consider it a privilege to be permitted to give this little sum back to Him who gave it to you, and who gave Himself for you. — With reference to the delay, I cannot but rejoice. This gives you abundant opportunity to ponder the matter, and afterwards to state to any (who, judging as those who know not how rich the saints are, might blame you), that you did not do the thing in haste. I consider this delay to be for the furtherance of the honour of the Lord. You know my advice to you, to wait at least a fortnight. That you have seen much of your unfaithfulness, etc., I consider to be an especial blessing which the Lord has bestowed upon you, lest this step you have taken should become a snare to you. Humblings last our whole life. Jesus came not to save painted but real sinners; but He has saved us, and will surely make it manifest. J have a passage laid on my heart for you: read the whole of it carefully: 2 Cor. viii. 1-9, especially verse 9. Htc.”
Day after day now passed away and the money did not come. The month of January had come to an end, and February also, and the money had not come. Thus more than one hundred and twenty days had gone by, whilst day by day I brought my petition before the Lord, that He would bless this sister, keep her steadfast in her purpose, and entrust me with this money for His work in my hands. Amidst it all my heart was assured (judging from the earnestness which He had given me in prayer, and that I had only desired this matter to the praise of His name), that in His own time He would bring it about. But I never wrote one single line to the sister on the subject all this tame. At last, on the one hundred and thirty-fourth day after I had daily besought the Lord about this matter, on March 8th, 1843, I received a letter from the sister, informing me that the £500 had been paid into the hands of my bankers.
I now wrote to the sister to enquire, whether she wished the money to be expended upon any particular objects, or whether she would leave me free to expend it, as I might be led. In reply to this she wrote me:
“Dear Brother, I would still leave this little sum in the hands of Him to whom it has been given. May He alone be your guide in disposing of it. If I did express one wish, it would be that you would make use of a part for your own or your family’s present necessity.” This latter point I declined entirely, thinking it not wise to take a part of this money for myself, to avoid even the appearance that in any
measure I had sought my own things in this matter, instead of the things of Jesus Christ.
The £500 was thus portioned out: £100 for the School, Bible, Missionary and Tract Fund; £50 for the Employment Fund, and £50 for the Orphan Fund. [The way the remainder was used will be seen in the next chapter].
And now I only give a few lines of a letter which I received on July yd, 1844, from the sister who gave this donation, in order that I may show her state of mind on the subject, after she had had it more than twenty months before her, and after she had for sixteen months actually given up the money. She writes thus: “I am thankful to say that I have never for one moment had the slightest feeling of regret; but it is wholly of the Lord’s abounding grace. I speak it to His praise.”