Reflections of a Candidate for the Ministerial Office

Dost thou, my soul, desire the office of a bishop of souls, a minister of Christ? Examine with deep concern thy preparation for, thy call to, and thy end in offering thyself to, this important work.

Am I a real Christian; or am I a devil — a dissembler with God and men — an entertainer of sin — of Satan, in my heart? Am I circumcised with the circumcision of Christ, having my corrupt nature renewed; old things passed away, and all things become new? Do I worship God in the spirit; read, meditate, pray, converse, under the influence of the Holy Ghost! Do I certainly know what Christ is to me? Do I rejoice in what he is in himself, and what he is to, and hath done for and in me? Have I no confidence in the fiesh — in my righteousness, my learning, my address? Hath the Holy Ghost emptied me of self, in every form, till he hath made me poor in spirit, less than the least of all saints in my own sight? Hath he with a strong hand instructed me, to count all things but loss for the excellency of the knowledge of Christ Jesus as my Lord, and to count them but dung to win him, and be found in him, not having my own righteousness, but the righteousness which is of God by faith? Do I earnestly desire to know him and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings; and press towards the mark, for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus? What furniture of gifts hath Christ bestowed on me? what aptness to teach? what knowledge of the mysteries of the kingdom? what skill to instruct others, bringing out of my treasure things new and old? what ability to

make the deep things of God o’tSvious to the weaker capacities? what proper quickness of conception? what proper inclination to study, as one devoted to matters of infinite consequence? what peculiar fitness for the pulpit, qualifying me to commend myself to every man’s conscience, preaching not in the enticing words of man’s wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit, and with power? With what stock of self-experience, texts, and principles of inspiration, am I entering on the tremendous office? Of what truths, relative to the law of God and its threatenings; relative to sin, to Satan, and to divine desertion; hath my saddened soul felt the power, tasting the wormwood and the gall? Of what declarations and promises of grace have I tasted, and seen that God is good? What cords of infinite love have caught and held my heart? What oracles of heaven have I found and eaten; and they have been to me the joy and the rejoicing of my heart? Of what truths, what texts, could I now say, u I believe, and therefore I speak.” 41 What I have heard with the Father, what I have seen, and heard, and tasted, and handled of the word of life, that declare I unto you.”

Suppose my connexions with the great, my address to the people, should ever so easily procure a license, a charge; yet, if I run unsent of Christ, in my whole ministration I must act the part of a thief, a robber, a traitor to Christ, and a murderer of souls, not profiting them at all. If, without his commission, I enter the office, what direction, what support, what comfort, what acceptance, what reward, can I expect in and of my work? Say, then, my conscience, as thou shalt answer at the judgment-seat of God, am I taking this honour to myself; or am I called of God, as Aaron was? Is Christ sending me, and laying a necessity upon me to preach the gospel? While he determines me to follow providence, and take no irregular step towards thrusting myself into the office, is he breathing on my soul, and causing me to receive the Holy Ghost? Is he endowing me with deep compassion to the souls of men; and with a deep sense of my own unfitness, and earnest desire to be sanctified and made meet for the Master’s use? In the progress of my education, am I going bound in the spirit, with the love of Christ burning in my heart, and constraining me; rendering me cheerfully willing to suffer poverty, contempt and hatred of all men, for Christ’s name’s sake; — willing, if possible, to risk my own salvation in winning others to Christ? What scriptures have directed and encouraged me to this work? In what form doth Jesus seem to be giving me my commission? Whether 44 to open the eyes of the Gentiles, and to turn them from darkness to light, and from the power of Satan unto God; that they may receive forgiveness of sins, and an inheritance among them that are sanctified?” or to 44 Go, make the heart of this people fat, and their ears heavy, and shut their eyes?” What promise of Christ’s presence with,

and assistance in, my work, have I received from above?

What is mine end in my advances towards this work? Dare I appeal to him that searcheth my heart, and trieth my reins — to him who will quickly be my judge — that I seek not great things to myself; that I covet no man’s silver, gold, or apparel; that I seek not theirs, but them; that neither of men seek I glory; that I look not on mine own things, but on the things of Christ; that I seek not mine own honour, but the honour of him that sends me?

Have I considered diligently what is before me; or am I running blindfold on the tremendous charge? Have I considered the nature and circumstances of the ministerial work, or that therein I am to be an ambassador for Christ, to beseech perishing souls, on the brink of hell, to be reconciled unto God? — a steward of the mysteries and manifold grace of God; — that, at the infinite hazard of my soul, it is required of me to be faithful; — that in my ministrations I, with all humility, and many tears, serve the Lord with my spirit, in the gospel of his Son, — keep back no part of the counsel of God — no instruction, no reproof, no encouragement; that I testify repentance towards God, and faith towards our Lord Jesus Christ; not moved with reproach, persecution, hunger, or nakedness; nor even count my life dear unto me, if so I may finish my course with joy; — ready not only to be bound, but to die, for the name of Jesus; — willing rather to be ruined with Christ than to reign with emperors; — that I labour with much fear and trembling, determined to know, to glory in, and to make known, nothing but Christ and him crucified; — not with enticing words of man’s wisdom, as a man-pleaser, but with great plainness of speech, in demonstration of the Spirit and with power; — speaking the things freely given to me of God by his Spirit, not in the words which man’s wisdom teacheth, but in words which the Holy Ghost teacheth, comparing spiritual things with spiritual, and having the mind of Christ; — always triumphing in Christ, and making manifest the favour of his knowledge in every place; — being to God a sweet savour of Christ in them that are saved, and in them that perish; as of sincerity, as of God, in the sight of God, speaking in Christ; through the mercy of God, not fainting, but renouncing the hidden things of dishonesty; not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully, but by the manifestation of the truth to every man’s conscience in the sight of God; — not preaching myself, but Christ Jesus the Lord, and myself a servant to the church for Jesus’ sake; — always bearing about the dying of the Lord, that his life may be made manifest in me. Knowing the terror of the Lord, and his future judgment, I must persuade men, making myself manifest to God and to their conscience; — constrained with the love of Christ, must change my voice, and turn myself every way., to bring sinners to the tree of life; — jealous

over them with a godly jealousy, and espousing them as chaste virgins to Christ; — travailing in birth till Christ be formed in them; — must take heed to my ministry which I have received in the Lord, that I fulfil it; — give myself wholly to reading, exhortation, and doctrine; — taking heed to myself and doctrine, that I may save myself and themthathear me; — watching for their souls as one that must give an account;. — rightly dividing the word of truth, and giving every man his portion in due season; — faithfully warning every man, and teaching every man, and labouring to present every man perfect in Christ Jesus; — and warring, not after the flesh, nor with weapons of warfare that are carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds, and casting down of imaginations, and subduing every thought and affection to the obedience of Christ. Having Christ Jesus for the end of my conversation, and holding fast the form of sound words in faith and love, which is in him. I must go forth without the camp, bearing his reproach, and feeding the flock of God, over which the Holy Ghost hath made me an overseer, and which God hath purchased with his own blood; — preaching to the congregation sound doctrine in faith and verity; — taking the oversight thereof not by constraint, but willingly; not for filthy lucre, but of a ready mind; neither as being a lord over God’s heritage, but as an example to the flock, — exercised unto godliness; holy, just, and unblameable; — an example to the believers in word, in conversation, in charity, in faith, in purity; — fleeing youthful lusts, and following after righteousness, peace, faith, charity; avoiding foolish and unlearned questions; — not striving, but being gentle to all men; — in meekness instructing those that oppose themselves; — fleeing from perverse disputings and worldly-mindedness as most dangerous snares, and following after righteousness, godliness, faith, love, patience, meekness; — fighting the good fight of faith, and laying hold on eternal life; — preaching the word in season and out of season; reproving, rebuking, exhorting, with all long-suffering and doctrine; — keeping the trust of gospel truth and office committed to me; and committing the same to faithful men, who may be able to teach others. And, in fine, to try false teachers; rebuke, before all, such as sin openly; restore such as have been overtaken in a fault, in the spirit of meekness; and, having compassion on them, to pull them out of the fire, hating the garment spotted by the flesh.