Passages Gleaned from Her Letters to Her Relations and Friends
To a gentlewoman, under some doubts about her interest in Christ she thus writes: — “I know not what is better for a man when he is out of the way, and is convinced of it, than to turn back and get as fast as he can into the right way: if thou art persuaded thou art not yet in Christ, give up thyself to him quickly in a marriage covenant. The word is nigh thee to direct thee; the throne of grace is nigh thee, and to it thou mayest draw near for assistance. I believe there is nothing God is more willing to give than his Spirit.”
Upon the occasion of a marriage in her father’s house, she hath this observation in another letter,” She that is married careth for the things of the world. Indeed, her opportunities of doing good will be more than they were, but of getting good less.
* It is more blessed to give than to receive.* I find, as to myself, that a little thing abates my zeal and flattens my spirit in duties, which makes me fear the snares of the world. It is an enemy to our souls, and our graces; to our duties, and to our comforts; to our holy living, and to our comfortable dying.”
She had a tender sense of sin, as appears by this passage in a letter to the same person:” Indeed, it is difficult to be sensible of sins we think small; they are like knots in a fine thread, or hair, — hard to untie: greater sins, like knots in a rope. I am greatly afraid of open presumptuous sins, such as maybreak my peace as long as I live. I may fitly compare myself to a body full of ill humours; though a sore in one place is seemingly healed, yet it breaks out in another; so when I am better in one respect, I am worse in another.’
Iler mean opinion of herself she expresses in another letter to the same person:” Should I go about to tell you how bad T am, it were more than I could do; surely I am ready to go out of love with myself every day; there is some shift to be made to flee from other things that molest, but not from
one’s self Reallv, madam, religion is the most amiable thing in the world. If I could be very good, and yet think myself bad, how well were it.”
In another, she thus writes about meditation: “I confess I am too little acquainted with it, especially the practical part, which is the sweetest. As to what I have tasted, I cannot tell the one half of the sweetness of it, and many times I have found more of God therein than in prayer. Before I can fix, there is some preparation necessary, and many a chain of vain thoughts to grapple with, which do often prevail and rob me of all my meditating time. As to my helps in it, — ;ny God is he that worketh both to will and to do: what more unruly than the thoughts? it is very hard to govern them! 1. I find a fixed heart a great help; the contrary I find a great hindrance: now where shall we find this, but whence every good and perfect gift comes? 2. An heart like the treasury of the good householder, wherein are things laid up both new and old. There must be knowledge to furnish us with matter. It is easier to know what helps there are, than to find ourselves helped by them. Most of my meditations arc confused and torn; sometimes some attribute of God is the subject of them, as his wisdom, power, holiness; sometimes some sin, some scripture,” &c.
To her eldest sister, Mrs. Savage who was married, she thus wrote: — “I am so well acquainted with myself as to know I am very unfit for the condition thou art in, and hast so much comfort in; the conditions are as the persons are. I sadly fear displeasing God or doing any thing which will wound conscience. I am ready to think there cannot but be more hindrances in our great business, in that condition than in my present condition. Dost thou not find it so? If it be not for the glory of God, I hope something will be thrown in the way to hinder it; for, however it is, God is good. It is no small comfort to have infinite Wisdom and Power engaged for one’s good.”
To another dear friend:” I fear thou hast too good an opinion of me, which makes my work more difficult to beat down myself. Be not guilty of blowing up that bladder which is so apt to fill of itself. I shall take it as a part of friendship if thou wilt chide, instruct, an I counsel me. Put thyself in my case. Thus far I am determined, and no farther, namely, to be guided by infinite Wisdom. I heard something suitable to-day from Psalm
XXV. ‘He will teach sinners:’ within that number I come, if not within the latter, ‘The meek will he guide.’ Be thou a fervent intercessor for me at the throne of grace; and pray meet me there at six o’clock on Saturday night, if thou canst conveniently. This morning I met with a suitable promise, Isa. lviii. 11, And the Lord shall guide thee continually, and satisfy thy soul in drought, and make fat thy bones: and thou shalt be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water, whose waters fail not:’ — for the fulfilling of which to me I have no desert to plead, but Divine mercy, goodness, and faithfulnci-s; and is not that sufficient? Who but a fool will be in want of any thing, when he may have it for asking 1 I cannot but reckon it one of the greatest of my earthly blessings, that I am the child of such a family, a branch of this vine; and have often acknowledged it as a great mercy that as I was the youngest, so I thought the most likely to stay longest here: and Aho knows but I may? I desire to trust God, however it be: the seed of the upright shall be blessed. Though myself I think unworthy, yet I am come of parents that are in covenant; but this will not save me, unless there be a principle within; it is encouragement to think that the smoking flax shall not be quenched. Mr. Vines* observes, “That Christ would not have them drowned whom he calls, ‘O ye of little faith.’ Matthew viii.”
To the same bosom-friend she writes, — *’ t have not taken the world for my portion, and I think I have been made willing to take up with little of it for my passage: in my father’s house the lines are fallen unto me in a pleasant place, and though I never absolutely resolved against a removal from it, yet I cannot but have dreadful apprehensions concerning it; the proposal of it hath occasioned mo many a troublesome thought, and is like to do more. I am passive: delay in some cases is dangerous, but here desirable. Rebekah’s relations. Gen. xxiv. 55, said, ‘Let the damsel abide with us a few days, at least ten.’ But I was pleased to find it in the margin, ’ a full year, or ten months.’ Sure that is a quiet and desirable world where there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage; of what little avail will it be there, whether we were here single or married? My desire is to
* A learned and excellent divine, who died, A. D. 1G55. See Clarke’s Lives, fol. p. 43, Brook’s Lives of the Puritans vol. iii. p. 230. Ed.
depart and be with Christ, which I am sure is best of all. Dost thou see the providence of God going before me? A stander-by may sec more than a person concerned: it is very comfortable to have that to plead which .lacob had when in trouble, Gen. xxxii. 9. ‘The Lord which saidst unto mc, Return.’ The Urim and Thummim is now abolished: we must expect direction in an ordinary way: who hath knowui the mind of the Lord? Certainly this is his mind, — that we should live to his glory; this is his will, — even our sanctification — and it should be ours.”
To the same gentlewoman, her dear bosom-friend, she thus expresses herself before she was married: —
“Thou art writ upon my heart in capitals easy to be read, as those that converse with me may see; thou hast given me the right-hand of fellowship in holy ordinances, but hadst thou seen through mc, surely thou wouldst not have suffered me to sit so nigh thee; was there ever such a misspender of time, such a trifler away of opportunities as I am? When thou thinkest well of me, thou seest me not in my own clothes. I am much afraid of getting hurt by the good opinion thou hast of me. Thou seest in my book the fulfilment of the Scriptures, Isaiah xliv. 5.
0 that thou couldst see in my life the fulfilling of my own engagements! It is easier to vow than to pay, but it is great encouragement to think that God is a covenant-friend. He is not so to every one. Who are we that God should take us into covenant with himself? It is not because ho hath need of us, but, because we have need of him. And must covenant people walk as other Gentiles? Surely no!’’
Soon after her marriage she wrote thus: —” I scarce know yet where I am, but this I know, that I am under the care of my Heavenly Father. It is now come to the trial, more than ever, whether I make conscience of duty or no, I mean my secret duty. When
1 had larger opportunities for it, I could not for shame, but at least seem to improve them, though, alas! what lost time was there in the closet which others thought not so! It cannot but be bitter now; yet I would not for something have all undone that hath been done there, but I wish it had been done better. Blessed be God for the Redeemer that is come to Sion to turn away ungodliness from Jacob; as it is quoted, Romans ii. 26, though it is otherwise, Isaiah Hi. 9. My thoughts arc very much of dear parents, and brothers and sisters; but there is danger lest if I think too much I should be discontent with my present condition, which is best for me. I have seen a little more of the world than I had seen a little while ago, and, truly, there is nothing in it which aflbrds solid comfort and satisfaction to the soul; one sight, by faith, of the lowliness of Jesus Christ, is enough to make one out of love with every thing else in comparison of him.”
Upon the death of Mrs. Bradburne * siic thus wrote to a dear friend: —” As was her way, such was her end, even peace, submission to the will of God, rejoicing in Christ Jesus; expressed in such language as this, — * None but Christ, none but Christ, he is my all in all.’ Thus did she go triumphantly to heaven. I shall never forget her whom I so dearly loved; her death made some impression upon this rocky heart of mine. ‘If this be done to the green tree, what shall be done to the dry?’ Sure it should make me think more of heaven. We use to fancy to ourselves how our friends and acquaintance that are at a distance from us in the world, do live; though we never saw how, yet, from
* Memoirs of Mrs. Savage, p. 43.
what we have heard, we imagine what they do; what company they have; what privileges, &c. And what a happy state do I imagine the soul of my dear friend to be in, whose face always shone, and yet was covered with a veil of humility. It is some comfort to me, that as I loved and delighted in her company here, so I shall enjoy it refined for ever. Though friends fail, yet God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever. As to myself, I might be useful in the world if I had a heart according to the price in my hand. Indeed I have lived at ease in Sion, as it speaks mercy. I wish it might not be said so of me, as it speaks a sinful frame. I have been ready to say, My mountain stands strong, I shall never be moved; when it is but God’s hiding of his face, and I shall be troubled. When friends are gone, the sting of affliction lies in the reflection upon my misimprovement of them whilst with them. Let us therefore redeem the time, because the days are evil. The world is certainly nothing, and nothingness is all that is in it. Continue to pray for me for all things that may be suitable: spiritual mercies cannot be unsuitable. I pray forget not in all your enjoyments to enjoy God as the gladness of your joy; for, what is all without him, but vanity and vexation 1 Even ordinances themselves are dry and sapless unless he fills them, though there is the likeliest place to find him: more of God, but not more than God we should seek for. It is very comfortable, methinks, when with new acquaintance we meet with those that are travelling in the same road with us, and aiming at the same ultimate end. It is sure God hath his remnant every where, and heaven will not want inhabitants, though such unworthy wretches as I come short through unbelief. You are singing of mercy and judgment; therefore providences are so mixed towards us in this world, — a gleam of peace to fit us for a brunt of trouble — that we may not settle ui)on our lees. Where you are you learn to know what David complained of, when he sojourned in Mesech, and dwelt in the tents of Kedar. In such a place there is good to be done where there is none to be gotten: and there is this advantage to it, that by doing good we get good; by kindling others our own hearts will burn within us, and who knows whether you may be cast there for such an occasion as this?”
To another of her sisters, upon the death of her sister Henry, in tiic year lG89,she wrote thus: —” There were few famiUes so Httic acquainted wiih the scourges of Divine Providence as ours was; but now the days of visitation are conic, and coming more and more. These are teaching providences; should we not learn obedience by them — passive obedience, — lest the next furnace w-e are cast into be seven times hotter? It would, I think, be a greater aliliction to have such relations as are with us our grief and burden, whilst with us, than it is to have those that were our comfort taken from us. We must consider that God hath a greater interest in all our creature-comforts than we have; they are but lent us, and he may call them when he hath occasion for them; and who are we that we should contend with him?
To her sister in the country. — “I rejoice to hear of the continuance of your welfare; the same that is good is still doing us good, and loading us with his benefits: we must not expect that our health and prosperity should always last. Shall we receive good and not evil also, forasmuch as we do evil and not good? If we could learn this good lesson in the enjoyment of our creature-comforts, — to enjoy God in all, and, in the want of them, to enjoy all in God, it would thereby appear that we lived by faith. It isdillicult to learn how to want, and it is no loss so to learn how to abound.”
In a time of affliction she thus writes: — “‘Tis pity that prosperity should do us hurt, for no affliction for the present seenns joyous, but grievous; and if the heart had been duly humbled by constant mortification and inured to the cross, these outward afflictions would not have been so hard to bear.”
Upon her recovery from the small-pox she writes: — “I write to let you know that I am going from strength to strength, through the Divine goodness; yet reprieved, because not ready for heaven. Help me to praise God for sustaining and delivering mercy, and also to pray that I might greatly profit by this visitation, that my God may not complain that yet I have not returned unto him. I cannot but acknowledge with thankfulness the interests I have in the love and prayers of good people here, though unworthy of it.”
At a time of public trouble, she writes: —” It is a mercy there are not fears within, as well as fightings without; though, truly considered, public calamities were worse than personal, yet, commonly, personal do more aflect. — When the sword doth not depart from the house, as in David’s case, it is an excellent thing to have a God to trust to, especially an interest in him in whose hands our times are: not only events themselves, but the seasons of them. I find nothing more prejudicial to me than distrust, both in reference to the concerns of the soul, and of the body also. I hope to see you shortly, but wives must be housewives, and sometimes shopwives, as I know who. I find it hard to turn into a closet. Let not thy farm, nor my merchandize, be hindrances to us in the way to heaven. The visiting of several sick and afflicted friends takes up a gi’cat part of our evening time now; we must not expect to be ourselves exempted from chastisement; the best we can expect is to have them from a Father — in measure and in mercy. There is no greater or better ground of hope than the truth and faithfulness of God, for that cannot fail; all the question is, Whether we can lay claim to the promises? He is in a sad case that must be miserable if the word of God be true, and he is as happy that must be so if the God of truth be true. Who shall separate us from the love of God?
The children of Israel, in their march towards
Canaan, removed out of the wilderness of Paran; in the world we go out of one wilderness into another, but the Canaan is before us. I am now at Elim, where there are twelve wells of water, and threescore and ten palm-trees; led into green pastures and fed beside the still waters. The only trouble is my unprofitableness, barrenness, leanness, non-proficiency. It is easier to complain than to amend. I know you rejoice with us when we rejoice: that you may do so, you must know how it is with us: — as yet, health and peace are continued; the nursery prospers, and the little ones; angels watch over us continually: the tediousness of nursing we owe to sin; that which sweetens it is the hope that some of our children may glorify God in the world.”
And in another: — “The nurseries continue to prosper, thanks be to Him who comforteth us as one whom his mother comforteth. I am glad to hear you have this breathing-time. Our Heavenly Father is, we see, slow to afllict, but swift to shew mercy: long in forbearing, not long in contending. If it be that he is preparing to strike, we should prepare to be stricken: what! shall we receive good, and not evil? Faith and patience are the two great bearing graces which arc necessary in a time of peril. Base distrust is a sin that doth most easily beset me, either of God’s power or will; neither of which can easily be questioned; for is any thing too hard tor God 1 — or is his mercy clean gone? No, no! O pray for more faith! I cannot but pity your frequent Sabbaths, spent at home, while we have the manna at our tent-door; but remember that the careful Father, if there be no school near, will teach his child at home, rather than he should not learn; so will the blessed Spirit, the Great Instructor, do the work himself, teaching his people to profit; and, if he doth it, it will be well done; for assuredly, if he be not filling the ordinances, they are but empty breasts; if he pass by and do not speak, there is no meeting. O, that we had more of God! not more than God, but more of him. Those same things you beg tor yourself, beg for me, especially for faith; I have reason to believe (as Mr. Baxter said to his friends) that God will sooner hear your prayers than mine. In his funeral sermon, with the account of his death, his humility and self-denial appear admirable, and make me think of that Scripture, ‘If the righteous scarcely be saved, where shall the ungodly and sinner appear V If he did nothing to boast of, sure I have a great deal to mourn over.”
To her sister in the country, with common tidings and business, she intermixeth very pertinently such lines as these: — “We need sometimes to be in heaviness, we must look for it: herein is the heart deceitful, — that we think we trust in God; but when creatures fail, we find by our own failing, that we trusted in them: you will not want spiritual supplies while God is all-sufficient.”
“To render good for good is no more than the publicans do; yet, alas! how much evil do we render for good to Ilim that is good, and doth good!”
“Pray, pray that we may be found of God in peace, without spot, and blameless. The time is short, and therefore every opportunity ought to be taken hold of for improving relations, both near and far ofl”, that that great talent of society may not be buried in a napkin.”
“I have less thinking-time here than you have in the country. A solitary life I mightily prized formerly, but the great and wise God did not see it good for me: my temper inclined me to it, but now I can envy tlic outward condition of none.”
“You would not envy my bare enjoyment of gospel privileges if you knew how unprofitable I am under them; it is easier to spend a deal of time in the external performance of holy duties in the old road, than to improve a little time seriously and profitably therein. If you knew my sad declinings, especially my great remissness in keeping my heart, you would pity me rather than flatter me. Pride is a weed that, in the soil of my heart, needs no watering.”
“Poor sister Henry, upon the death of the child, is sitting alone and keeping silence. The consideration of her giving it up to God in baptism, when she was asked by my father whether she could freely do it, hath had influence upon her submission. Let us in a day of prosperity be joyful, and think of a day of adversity.”
“Is it any wonder that dying creatures die 1”
“In this vale of tears we are full of compla’nts. It is a bad sign that former afflictions have not done their work, in that He is further testifying against me by the sickness of
the children; when the staff and the rod will
294 MEMOinS OF mk.s. iiulton.
not do, the cart-wheel and the threshing instrument arc used by him, who is * wonderful in counsel, and excellent in working.’ Isa. xxviii. 27, 28, 29. I need not request your prayers, mostly for divine teachings, — that they may accompany divine chastenings. They are bitter things when an interest in covenant-love is not clear, but ‘He knows the way that I take; when he hath tried me I shall come forth as gold:’ let not the Almighty put me in the furnace and leave me there.” At another time: — “It is a mercy to have such comfortable homes as we have; such relations — so much health. O, how short do we come of the law of thankfulness! every one of God’s mercies, even the least, calls for more praise and thanks than we return for them in general: to reflect upon my own unthankfulness may make me humble. I desire your prayers, as you have mine, for mercy and grace. This is a vain world we live in; time slips while I hold my hand; how busy, how diligent should we be; all will be little enough when we come to die! I heartily sympathize with you in the tediousness of your nursery, but take heed of complaining as Rebekah: ‘If it be so why am I thus V — why is this child of promise so troublesome “?
It comforts me as to nursing inconveniences, that bringing up of children, lodging strangers, and washing the saints’ feet, are put together as good works. 1 Tim. v. 10, Let not evil tidings remove your fixed heart. Though when we looked for peace, behold trouble; did not we agree for this — if need be, for a season to be willing to be in heaviness? Our sympathizing with each other is a little help, but, alas! miserable comforters are we. I have sometimes been dejected in remembrance of former zeal, forwardness, and fervency in the good way, from which I fear I have declined; upon which, once calling to mind, that Scripture did comfort, (Ecclcsiastes vii. 10.) ‘Say not thou that the former days were better than these.’ O, that blessed book of God hath all in it I want! let us study it more. What calamities hath sin brought upon us, and yet itself we should count a thousand times worse. It is easy to reckon up afflictions, but my sins and God’s mercies are numberless, — one of which is the interest we have in the pity and prayers of our dear friends. I may hope that all these things are performed for me, and may gather hence, that seeing the threatening part of the covenant is feelingly made good in afflictions, the promising part (Psalm lxxxix. 30, &c.) will also: the same truth is engaged for both. I rejoice to hear of your children’s recovery: are we like the one leper, who returned to give thanks, or like the nine? Times of trial are times of gaining experience, for patience works experience. We usually pray often for the preventing the evils we fear, but seldom thanking serves: sure the mercy, the God of the mercy, deserves as many praises as prayers. I find worldly cares rightly compared to thorns, but one thing is needful. My little girl is learning to walk, and represents the weakness of the heart after it falls into sin. It fears, faints, and flags.. The heart’s deceitfulncss is desperate: when in prosperity, I have thought if I were in aflliction, I should be very humble and contrite under God’s hand; when in aflliction, — O, if I were delivered I should and would be very thankful and obedient; but it is neither so nor so; never may it be trusted in again.”
Upon the death of her little one, at nine days old, November, 1095, she thus writes: — “It is easier to answer you to your satisfaction, than to answer the call of Divine Pi’ovidence, which sounds louder and louder; it requires more time than I now have to tell you my need of chastisements, and God’s wisdom and goodness in choosing this rod to do it with. My fruit towards him hath been untimely; the breasts of the promises have run waste: I have not drawn from them and been satisfied. It brings to my remembrance, as my own sin, so your affliction; — from the same hand, of the same kind, with the same design of good to us. O, that I could improve my present retirement in considering what the Lord my God requires of me! We should learn this by all our disappointments, not to boast of to-morrow, for we know not what a day may bring forth. It is no hard usage that I should be diminished whilst others are increased; for do not all things come alike to all 1 Nay, as many as our Heavenly Father loveth he rebukes and chastens, and though it be a mighty hand, and therefore good reason why I should humble myself under it, yet it is the hand of a Father, w-hich, whilst it is on to afflict, is under to support; and death itself shall not separate us from the love which we have in Christ Jesus our Lord, to whom be glory for ever. When I have been a few days from home, I begin to think myself a wanderer from my place, as a bird that wanders from her nest. I wish I do not settle on the lees, being so much a stranger to that sojourning state in which Abraham was, in the land of promise. We are changing our servants; all changes are troublesome; this world, therefore, is a troublesome world, because so full of changes: sufficient to every day is the evil thereof.”
A letter which she wrote to one of whom she heard something scandalous, taking care it should not be known from whom it came, may be inserted here.
Mr.
“To ease myself, and, if it might be, to do you good, is my design in writing this. I having joined with you in Gospel ordinances, cannot hear of your fall without fear and trembling. Very loath I was to believe it, speak of it I may not: — * tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Askelon;’ but first to yourself, whom I cannot expect to inform of that which you know not, but remind you of that you do know, — that the prevailing love of God in the heart will no way consist with the love and liking of any sin. Whoever they be that name the name of Christ and do not depart from iniquity, I am sure their profession will carry them but a little way, at farthest but to heaven’s gates: dissembled piety is double iniquity, and shall receive greater damnation. I do wonder how, and with what face, any one can appear before God, among his people, in solemn ordinances, that is yet resolved to go on in sin. Consider, you may deceive us that join with you, but not Him that searcheth the heart, and knows what is in man. Is your spot the spot of God’s children 1 It is true David fell foully, and I fear some have encouraged themselves in sin by his example; but let them consider it was once — in an hour of temptation, — and it cost him dear. He came home by weeping cross, and I believe he would not for his kingdom have repeated the sin: after which he had scarce a good day. Wherefore is his sad fall recorded, but that all people may take heed of entering into temptation, and watch and pray that they may not? Is it a light matter that religion is so much reflected on? By your means the blessed name of Jesus Christ suffers. People say, Yea, they are all alike; whereas, God knows, as )’ou have opened the mouth of the wicked, you have saddened the hearts of the godly, who mourn in secret for your miscarriages. May I advise you, nay, doth not the word of God conimaiid you, to remember whence you are fallen, and to repent; and let your repentance be public, as your fall haih been. There is yet hope if you return, but none if you go on: there is a fountain opened fur poor sinners, to wash from sin and from uncleanness, but then you must look up to him whom you have pierced, and mourn. I know not what frame you are in, but God knows. This comes from the true love I bear to your soul, and the interest of religion, which greatly suffers; offences do come, and will come, but wo to them by whom they come! Can there be baser ingratitude than to make Him stiffer by us who suffered so much for us? Do you thus requite the Lord? Dare any come to the table of the Lord for a cloak to vile practices? O profound madness! Is the holy Jesus a pattern of sin? Is Christianity a bare name? No, I will never believe it! What shall I say? Return unto the Lord, for you have fallen by iniquity: take with you these words, and say, ‘Take away all iniquity.’ Hosea xiv. 2. I shall cease speaking to you, but not praying for you, who am
“Your soul’s friend.”
When sickness had long been in the family (and breach upon breach made) of a near neighbour and relation, she thus writes: — ‘• The hand of God is going out against us: his Providence shews his controversy to be great and long, and something more than ordinary. Judgments begin with us, the distemper spreads, and where it may end we know not; the dregs of the cup may y-et be reserved for ourselves: I cannot say but I have had fair warning, and yet I have not got above the fears of death, that king of terrors. It is a great attainment: I can think of nothing future with so much certainty as dying; that great work, once to die.”
When her children had the small-pox she writes: — “They and we are in good hands; it is a great mercy we are not singled out for some uncommon and extraordinary judgment, but visited with the same that many are tried with. I hope that you will intreat for us that this affliction may not be lost.”
Writing the news of one who died suddenly, she added,” What need have we to be ready to die at very short warning! Desire sister Radford, though she be abroad from her family, yet being there where she is useful, not to be too thoughtful of home, as I myself
have sometimes been, when I found afterwards that I was not so much missed, as through my pride, and minding my own things, I thought I was.”
After the death of her sister Radford, she thus wrote to her sister Savage: —” The good tidings we have had of your safe delivery, (which was the next day after her sister Radford’s death) and that God was to you a present help, and both root and branch are spared, mixcth our song of judgment with mercy, and God hath set the one over against the other. We have been continued together many years, and after the crown fell from our head,* God let us alone another year also, but now the knot is broken. O for a sense of Divine displeasure in this dispensation and wisdom to spell out the meaning thereof! ’ for all this his anger is not turned away, but his hand is stretched out still.’ Dear sister Tylstonf is very weak; we want our Aaron, the priest of the family, who would have stood between the living and the dead, that the plague might be stayed: God is angry, and yet I am not humbled as I should be under the mighty hand of God; and a mighty
* An allusion to her Father’s death. Ed.
t Catherine, the wife of John Tylston, M. D. A Memoir of Dr. Tylston may be seen iin the Evangelical Magazine for 1817, p. IGI. Ed.
hand indeed it is. O, pray for me that I may be more so! I find there is no putting ofl’ the great work of closing with Christ till sickness and death come, for that is a very unfit time. And when it is done, I see it is not easy then to have the comfort of it.”
And in another: — “This is a loud speaking controversy, and where it will end God only knows; but he is no less wise and good than ever he was, however it is. This shall afterwards yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness. Pray, pray hold up the hands and the heart, and you may do more than I.”
And a little after: — “That you may know the better how to direct your prayers and praises, this comes to acquaint you that we are not consumed, and it is of the I^ord’s mercies it is so. The Lord will perfect that which concerns us; and what is that but our eternal happiness mostly? if that be sure all is well; we have our infirmities, and is this our rest? If concerning this life only we had had hope, it had not been much worth.”
When she had not occasion given her by providences to write such lines as these to her friends and relations, then she would fill her letters, (and abundance of them are so filled) with ll)C heads of sermons she had heard last, giving a concise account of the substance of them, and especially what in them did most afiect her, and do her good. This practice would never leave us unfurnished with matter for pious and profitable letters, and might help very much to spread the savour of the knowledge of Christ.