Of My Call to the Ministry

Section I.

The grounds upon which I judged myself called to the ministry.

ist, T WAS much concerned to know whether I was X indeed called by the Lord to the exercise of the ministry, or whether any inclination or pressure of spirit I had thereto did proceed from my own fancy; for I can never think that any will discharge this office aright, who hath not a sense of His divine call upon his spirit, or comfortably go about the same, neither can promise himself any success therein: for such as the Lord hath not called, “nor stood in His counsel,” it is threatened that they “shall not profit this people,” Jer. xxiii. 32. Therefore it is of much concernment to us to be clear in this. Yet I acknowledge many are called of Christ to preach who do not know it, but fear they are not; even as many are effectually called who know not so much; and, therefore, it is that both the one and the other live less comfortably. And as many think they belong to, and have interest in, Christ, who really have none; so, many judge themselves, and are judged by others, to be true ministers of Christ, who are not, but idol ministers, never commissioned by Christ.

2diy, Therefore did I judge it my duty to endeavour to have my call cleared to me, and for this cause have set apart some solemn days, in which by fasting and prayer, both before I entered to the ministry and after, I have earnestly besought the Lord for light in this matter, and to clear to me whether He called me or not; and have seriously searched and meditated, and sadly thought on this subject. And the issue of all such deliberations was, that I was inclined to think, from what I could gather from God’s Word or Work, that He did call me to “bear His name, to deliver from the power of Satan to God, to witness for God,” that the works of the world were evil.

$dly, The grounds upon which I was convinced and did believe the Lord called me were: (1) That I was not now to expect audible voices from heaven in an extraordinary manner, or within us, saying, ‘“‘Arise, preach the Gospel;” for, however apostles and extraordinary prophets were so called immediately, yet that such who now are called do receive it by means of men. Therefore, though I did not receive any extraordinary voice within or without, there was no reason upon that account to doubt of my call. (2) That much less was a man’s own imagination or groundless fancy to be counted a call from God; for many (I say) think they are called of God, as Jer. xxiii., whom the Lord “hath not sent.” (3) That any act of man doth not give a call to a minister; for ordination by ministers, or election by the people, which are the two means by which it is pretended this call is conveyed, is posterious to this call of God. And, besides, ministers may ordain, and people may elect, such as were never called of God; so, though never so regularly ordained and admitted, yet are they to be esteemed no ministers of Christ.

llhly, As the revelation of God’s Word in all ages hath been the rule whereby to discern who have been called of God to be His servants, and who not; and therefore, when God revealed Himself immediately to His prophets, this immediate revelation published by the prophets was the ground of faith and rule of practice, so now, the revelation of God’s will being committed to writ or Scripture, it hence follows, that by the Scriptures only we can know who are His ministers called of Him, and who are not; and this knowledge is as certain as any knowledge that could be had from the prophets of old, and as clear and evident; Luke xvi. 31, “If they believe not Moses and the Prophets, neither will they believe though one arise from the dead.”’ The Scriptures, then, I must look into and by them know whether the Lord hath called me or not. The general I find in several places of Scripture; Luke xix. 13, “Occupy till I come.” 1 Pet. iv. 10, “As every one hath received the gift, so let him minister unto another.” 1 Cor. xii. 7, “The manifestation of the Spirit is given to profit withal.” By all these Scriptures I gather, that whatever talents men have received from Christ, they are not to lie idle, nor to be kept up in a napkin, but that they are to be put in use and exercised for God. And this Scripture, “Occupy till I come,” is the general warrant that ministers and all other persons of different occupations and gifts have to discharge their office. If any then inquire, What is my call to preach? I answer, Our Lord’s command and call, “Occupy till I come.” The word was brought to my remembrance, when I was exercised about this matter; and did not the Lord command us in His Word, no man should misimprove any talent he hath; ministers in preaching do not but occupy till Christ come. And here is my first ground.

5//z/v, By this general call, none is particularly engaged to follow the ministry but such as are qualified. For he who is fitted for an artificer, for a scholar, for a lawyer, for a physician, although he is bound by this general to employ his talent for God, yet is not every one by this Scripture bound to discharge the office of the ministry, unless he be qualified thereto. It is, therefore, further requisite to a divine call, that the person be fitted more for this than for anything else. He, therefore, who is not qualified for the ministry, hath not gifts, is not called; and he who is more fitted for this than for anything else, is called of God, because he is called to minister as he hath received, 1 Pet.

iv. 10. A man’s talent is the determiner of that general, “Occupy till I come.” Now I begin to see what is my talent; and truly there was no other thing I was more fitted for, or qualified, than preaching and serving God in the ministry. And though my parts were but weak, and my talent small, especially in the beginning; yet did I see some measure of qualifying, and divine preparation for this work, and truly more than for any other employment, and therefore did I judge I was bound to occupy for God in that work. Some natural endowments I had, by which I was sufficiently capable of any science, yea, of natural theology. The dealings of God with my spirit in the work of conversion were very distinct; and though I could not see but confusedly at first, yet afterwards I did see to perceive that work very distinctly. And not only so; for I judge it very needful for a minister to be converted ere he endeavour to convert others, Luke xxii. 32; Psalm li. 12, 13, “Restore the joy of thy salvation, and then will I teach transgressors thy ways.” So, Isa. vi. 7, the prophet’s iniquity must be taken away ere he receive his commission, and that after deep humbling in the dust. The Lord did not only, by conversion begun and renewed, fit me for the ministry; but did give me great experience of the exceeding evil of my heart, of the terrors of God, that so I might know to persuade others, 2 Cor. v. 8; as likewise opened my eyes to see the glorious mysteries of the covenant of grace, telling me something every day as it were. And truly I had not been many days in Christ’s school, judging the covenant of grace, when I thought I was come to a new world; my former life seemed a dark howling wilderness, and the life of grace I looked upon as the lightsome Canaan, the harbour of rest after my tossings. Divers and various conflicts I had with unbelief, and much exercised with the law and the bond-woman seeking to get in my conscience. I was much helped by Luther on the Galatians, and Calvin’s Institutions; something more by that book called the “Marrowof Modern Divinity;” by some old writers, as Fox, Bradwar-I din’s Letters, Mr Hamilton, and Wisheart; but especially by! reading the Epistle to the Romans, by prayer and meditation, by which I came to receive very much satisfaction in my mind in the Gospel. I perceived that our divinity was much altered from what it was in the primitive reformers’ time. When I read Knox, Hamilton, Tindal, Luther, Calvin, Bradford, etc., I thought I saw another scheme of divinity, much more agreeable to the Scriptures and to my experience than the modern. And though I plainly enough saw the errors of the Antinomians (for their errors lay very near truth), yet I perceived a gospel spirit to be in very few, and that the most part yea of ministers did wofully confound the two covenants, and were of an Old Testament spirit; and little of the glory of Christ, grace and gospel, did shine in their writings and preaching. But I abhorred and was at enmity with Mr Baxter, as a stated enemy to the grace of God, under thereover of opposing some Antinomianism. He boldly averred what others thought and materially believed, even whilst they did speak against him; by which he was hardened in his way. Now I thought the great pains the Lord did take in this with me, the experience also I had of great afflictions and the Lord’s support under them, and delivering from them, and sanctifying of the same to me by instructing me in many chief lessons by the rod; what should all this mean, said I, but that the Lord gives me experience of these things, to the end I should make this His ‘’righteousness known in the great congregation?” If this be spoken in my ear, shall I not divulge it “on the house tops?” Luke xii. And was not all this to qualify me, and make me a fit minister of the New Testament? And this was a second consideration to clear my call to me.

bthly, The Lord did by His Spirit apply the general call particularly to my soul. He brought home that word, “Occupy till I come;” and dealt with me, told me that the Lord called me to “serve Him in the Gospel of His Son,” and to employ what talents I had that way; was at much pains with me till I should yield. For gifts and abilities to preach and pray are not a sufficient call to a man to be a minister, though they be necessary to the call. A man’s natural gift and ability for any magistracy doth not presently call him to that office; and some have gifts for divers offices that yet are called but to one. And hence it is, that a man’s call to the office of the ministry is in some things different from the call of believing. For that call or command of God to believe, reaching all within the visible Church, doth oblige all thereunto, whether they do so or not, yea, whether the Spirit strive with them or not, though without this they neither shall nor can believe; but this call to the ministry, though it be in God’s Word, yet it doth not oblige any particularly to the work of the ministry without the working of the Spirit. And, therefore, is the application of the Spirit, in the matter of the call to the ministry, a very necessary part and constituent of the call, and requisite not only to enable us to the thing as it is in the case of believing, but likewise to warrant that particular thing. For, however, the general call, “Occupy till I come,” do warrant such as have parts and talents to employ them for God, yet doth it not warrant a godly able man to exercise his talents in a public ministerial way more than any others, until the Spirit determine his spirit. And this I found the Spirit did likewise to me: (i) In representing to my soul the beauty and glory of the office of the ministry. O to serve the Lord in this! said I; nothing is like it! To testify for God, to hold forth the “riches of Christ,” to bear His name; what more honourable employment! And like as the merchant must see the pearl ere he buy it, Mat. xiii. 45, and we must “see the Son” ere we “believe in Him,” so that beauty and glory of the work of the ministry must be seen ere we take with it. (2) The Lord by His Spirit did draw out and incline my heart to this work; and so many times I was taken off from other studies and exercises, and was set on this, and many times did I ardently desire it; yea, I had marvellous delight in the exercise of any work belonging to the ministry, whether it was reading of theology, either practical or polemic, meditating upon or writing my thoughts, studying or preaching of sermons. And truly parents send their children to these trades that they observe them to be most of themselves inclined to; “Send me,” saith Isaiah, vi. 6. (3) By fitting, preparing, and qualifying me for that employment; by renewing a distinct work of conversion in my soul; by exercising me with various and great outward afflictions; by discovering unto me something of the mystery of grace and of the Gospel. And the more fitted I was, the more inclined to the work; and though I studied but little, yet the Lord blessed it marvellously. (4) By doing my soul good, in being exercised in preparing for the ministry. For it was by studying to preach, and meditation on several subjects, that my soul recovered out of my first backsliding; and by meditating upon subjects, and preaching of them, I daily grew in grace and knowledge of Christ.

*]thly, The Lord, not only by His Spirit working inwardly upon me, but likewise by His Work, did clear that He called me. For my heart was utterly averse to any other study or employment; all attempts, designs, and endeavours to settle in any other station were crushed and broken, and matters in the world went still worse and worse, until I resolved and engaged with the work of the ministry; and from that time I observed the weather turned, and my captivity was turned back. What judgment can I make of the Lord’s barring all other doors, and His opening of this, but that I should go in here, and look to no other thing?

St/zfy, I am much confirmed in my call to the ministry by that providence of the vows I made to this purpose, that I should be drawn out to make such a vow; that the Lord should so soon testify His approbation thereof, and answer me so suddenly, so clearly, so fully, and so particularly and suitably to my vow in all things. For my want of assurance was my great doubt, and that which made me afraid to engage with the ministry; whereupon I vowed solemnly, that if the Lord should clear up my interest to me, and reveal the mystery of the Gospel, covenant of grace, and faith to me, I should then apply myself to the ministry, provided the Lord did answer this in five years. But the Lord in less than six weeks answered it; for in a month or thereabout did the Lord convince me of faith, called me to believe, opened His covenant to me, never left me till I believed it, and thereafter sealed it with the spirit of assurance. And in my vow I said, that if the Lord would hearken to me, in clearing of these things, I would look on it as an evident token He called me to serve Him in the Gospel.

gtkfy, About the latter end of the year 1665, I remember the Lord put this call close to my door,~tbleKme I was to be His witness, to testify for Him against the world, to do all the good I could to mankind wherever I was called; and that I should make this my only work, and be faithful, free, and full in it; that many things needed reformation, and that the Lord would employ me in it. This was pressed much on me; and because I refused, and like Jonah, fled from the Lord, He sent a storm of terrors after me, and I was casten into a sea and depth of hell many weeks. The work I was called to was so hard, that I durst not undertake it, but delayed it.

lot/ify, Another consideration that cleared my call to me was, that the ministers and faithful servants of Jesus Christ did solemnly examine my call, and after trial of my gifts and conversation by several exercises and pieces of trial recommended me, being intimately and of a long time acquainted with me, having preached frequently in their hearing, and having given proof of my gifts, were so far satisfied with me, that unanimously, without the least censure, they agreed to trust me in the name of Christ with the dispensation of the Gospel; and this was in the year 1672. They were better judges than myself, and they found the Lord had called me, and therefore did in the name of Christ declaratively empower me to exercise the office of the ministry.

Lastly, When I consider the effects which followed on my admission to the ministry, I am much confirmed in my call; for by preaching and discharging my duty otherwise, I myself was watered, my gifts increased, more of the Lord’s will was manifested and made known to me, and my labours were blessed to many, to whose heart and case the Lord made me many times to speak. And though, while I was in Scotland, I never received nor would take a sixpence for preaching, but lived upon what was my own; yet I prospered much in my outward estate in the world, I cleared my debts, I reserved some part of my estate to my debts, and maintained myself; I married all my sisters, insomuch that in fourteen years I was better by eight or nine hundred pounds sterling than when I began, although there was never a week but I preached twice and sometimes oftener. And this I looked upon as a token of the Lord’s acceptance of my labours.

SECTION 11.

Of a Minister’s work and qualification.

1st, It was not merely to show or discover my gifts, by letting people know what I could say from a text of Scripture, that I was called; I had great inclinations of myself to preach and speak from Scripture. Nor was it to baptize or minister sacraments, nor was it the name or title of a minister that I was to take on, or which I did effect most; God did not send me to baptise but to preach. But that which I was called to was, to testify for God, to hold forth His name and ways to the dark world, and to deliver poor captives of Satan, and bring them to the “glorious liberty of the sons of God.” This was I to make my only employment, to give myself to, and therein to be diligent, taking all occasions; and to be plain, full, and free in this charge. I was called to enter in hot war with the world and sinners, to fight by my testimony against them for God. This was it I was called unto, and unto a conversation suitable thereunto, and to “take up the cross daily and follow Christ.” I was called to be a watchman, and to take the charge of the care of all my relations and acquaintances; to be a watchman over and keeper of them, and to be free and faithful in this with every one, and my own soul to lie at the stake to be forfeit if I failed; and this commission might have been discharged, though I had never taken a text or preached formally, Acts ix. 15; Rev. x.; John vii. 7; Acts xx. 18; Luke v. 10, and 2 Tim. ii. 19.

2dly, This being the minister’s work and employment, the means and ways by which he is to discharge this commission, and execute the end of his calling, are: (1) By public preaching, holding forth their sin and misery to men, and the remedy Christ Jesus, and persuading to be reconciled, 2 Co., v. 21. Mat. xxviii., “Go disciples, to all nations, preaching to them; preach the Gospel to every creature under heaven.” By this means they publish their commission, and “seek obedience to the faith,” in all the world, Rom. i. 5. And this they should do “in season and out of season,” and in dependence on God both for what to say and a blessing, should say nothing but what they “have received from the Lord Jesus,” and of which Christ should be the Alpha and Omega. (2) He is to discharge his office by praying for such as are committed to his charge, and that both publicly and privately, affectionately and fervently. You see Paul doth not cease to make mention of churches in his prayers. They are priests to God, who not only make supplication for themselves but for others. It is true, every Christian is bound to pray for the whole Church of Christ, and for the members especially to which Himself is related; but a minister is in a special manner bound. He who doth not water his labours with affectionate prayers and tears, I doubt that he shall labour successfully. (3) Hs is to execute his commission by exhortation, private and occasional instruction, whether for reproof, comfort or information and direction. And this is it which I suppose

I was most called unto, viz., to take all occasions with all persons in private discourse to make the name of Christ known, and to do them good, and to do this as my only work; and to do it boldly, and faithfully, and fully. And this to do is very hard in a right and effectual manner; to do this is harder than to preach publicly; and to be strengthened, directed, and encouraged in this is that for which I ought to live near in a dependence on Christ, “without whom we can do nothing,*’ and of whom is all our sufficiency. In preaching, there are a great many whom we cannot reach, and there are many to whom we have no occassion to preach publicly; we may thus preach always, and speak more successfully than in public, where the greatest part of hearers do not understand the minister though he speak never so plainly. This likewise we are called unto this day, seeing we are by force incapacitate; but Oh, how is this neglected! Were ministers faithful in this, we should quickly see a change in affairs; but, alas! with grief of heart I speak it, it is in this thing that I challenge myself most of any; it is in this that I have most come short, and I suppose it may be so with others too. The apostles went from house to house. (4) The fourth mean by which we are called to dicharge the office of the ministry is by a godly conversation; hereby we glorify God, and preach most effectually to others. Example is very powerful; and where this is not, preaching and other labours are in vain; for without this the most seriously delivered sermons are nothing in effect but a well-acted stage-play, 1 Thess. ii. 10. This was it that made the apostles’ preaching so efficacious to the Thessalonians, that, they perceived them to be of very holy conversation. “Ye know what manner of men we were for your sakes.” They illustrated by their practice as by example what they preached. All are bound to be holy, but ministers much more; and their godly conversation is one of the ways they preach, and which many times doth convert, 1 Pet. iii. 2; some, not gained by the Word, are gained by the con-

240 .yfemoirs of the

versation of their wives or their believing relations. (5) They may discharge their commission by writing of epistles or treatises as the Lord shall call or enable them, and especially when there is no access to other means. Thus the Apostle Paul did write when in prison, or when he could not get to them. Many breathings are lost for neglect of this, saith Mr Shepherd. To all these five things I found myself called.

2>dh As to the nature of my particular call to preach the Gospel, by ought I can discern through the moving of God’s Spirit, or the encouragement I had thereto, it was not to preach to any particular flock, gathered or ungathered; but it was to preach to the whole world, especially my relations and acquaintances. My commission was much of the nature of that man’s, Mark iv., “Go and show thy friends what God hath done for thee.” The Lord then had scattered both shepherds and flocks: we were then to preach wherever we could find people. Yea, though I had three calls from three different societies of Christians, yet did I not incline to fix with any, Mark xvi. My com-. mission, I thought was rather indefinate than definate; “Preach the Gospel to every creature under heaven.” (2) And hence I was called to preach in a vagrant manner,, sometimes to one place, sometimes to another, here and there, up and down the country, as I was called by the people, not staying above a week in one place. So at Edinburgh, where my family was, where once every week-day, if at home, I preached a sermon, and on the Lord’s day. I loved not fixed stipends and pulpits, while the Lord Jesus Himself was unfixed; but thought it most kindly to follow the wandering ark and tabernacle. (3) The chief things I was called to preach and declare were, man’s misery by nature, the nature of regeneration and salvation by Christ, Ezek. xx. 4; Micah hi. 8; and my spirit did more freely go out in a gospel-strain than in a legal. I never in my sermons reflected upon the persons of rulers or councils; neither laboured to stir up the people, nor did I insist ordinarily upon public differences. But though I did sometimes (the Lord putting it in my mind and mouth) preach against the ungodly ministers the curates, the particular duties of the times, yet were the substantial truths of religion the more ordinary subject of my discourses, and it was “Christ and Him crucified” that I was mostly called to preach. (4) I was called (I say) more to preach by private exhortation than by public formal preaching; and to endeavour the conversion of some and edification of others by transient occasional discourses. And in the discharge of this I found more peace of conscience, greater sweetness and profit, than by preaching of many sermons; yet in this I was most defective, and to it had least inclination. I found a private exhortation and instruction, transiently and occasionally given, do more good than many sermons. And private exhortation is preaching, and hath the advantage of public preaching, especially at this time, in this regard, that there is more self-denial, less carnal vain ends in it, than in public preaching; in this occasional preaching, by way of transient discourse, we have occasion given us to make what we say plain, and beat it upon them, and hear what they say. Lastly, we can do this without breach of law. We cannot do the other without undergoing great suffering, and in hazard to be frustrated; and the Lord, by the prevalency of the laws against these more formal preachings, seems to call us to see what private discourses may do. (5) I was called to preach plainly, particularly, and authoritatively, as the messenger of Jesus Christ, with all sorts of persons; yet courteously, wisely, meekly, and gently; not to speak in a cloud of general words, but “Thou art the man,” to reach home; nor yet to speak lightly or slightly, but seriously and gravely, that it may be reverenced and regarded by those to whom it is directed. For both we should speak what we say, and they hear as the Word of God; yet withal wisely and meekly, shuning to give irritation. (6) I was called to “serve God in the Gospel of His Son” as my only and great work, to make this my trade and calling, in

which only, diligently, “in season and out of season,” to be employed; and to take no other thing in hand, but wholly to be given to this. uGive thyself wholly to these things,” saith the Apostle to Timothy. Acts vi. 4, “We will give ourselves to the Word and prayer.” They would not so much as look to the distribution of supply to the poor, lest it should divert them from their function in the Word. (7) And that I might the better discharge my office and confute adversaries, I was called to read some, and meditate on what I read. (8) To discharge the work of my calling in a special dependence on God for light, life, assistance, wisdom, and a blessing. No calling, no work under heaven, wherein there is more need of dependence on God than the work of the ministry. Alas! we know neither what to say nor how to say, “We are not sufficient for these things, but our sufficiency is of God.” Nor ought we to speak anything but as the Lord giveth utterance. By this I perceive it is not every person, yea, every Christian or saint, that is a fit and qualified person for the ministry; they must be “polished shafts.” Right interpreters are rare persons, “One of a thousand,” Job xxxiii. 23. Nay, very few of those who are called of men are called of God to the ministry: for (1), Ministers must be persons of good parts and endowments, able to convince and put to silence adversaries; they must have knowledge and learning more than others. (2) They must be saints and Christians ere they be ministers; for how shall Satan cast out Satan? What do all gifts profit if a man wTant grace or charity? Is he not as a “tinkling cymbal?” How shall such persuade others, who themselves never “knew the terrors of the Lord?” Shall they tell others the way to heaven, that never themselves travelled that way? Is not this for “the blind to lead the blind?” Can a blessing be expected on the labours of such? I do not say that grace is essential to the ministry, but appearance of grace and serious profession is needful; and it is necessary to the bene esse of a minister.

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(3) He must have a more than ordinary stock and measure of grace, of knowledge, patience, zeal, experience, sobriety, watchfulness, faith; he cannot without this be “one of a thousand.” He must be one acquainted in some measure with Satan’s devices, and with the corners of the little world the heart. (4) A godly, heavenly, pure and spiritual conversation and behaviour, to illustrate what he delivers in preaching, to exemplify a godly life, is a clear confirmation of a minister’s doctrine; and if it do not convert them, yet still it will convince them. And when the conversation is contrary, or short of the doctrine preached, that man “destroyed what he buildeth” — he unpreacheth and confutes what he preaches, and gives occasion to people to think religion a stage-play. (5) The minister must have the sense of his charge, the danger of immortal souls deeply imprinted on his heart; it must be clear to him, that the Lord hath called him, and to what he is called, and the weight and import of his charge. It is a matter of life and death; hence the charge of prophesying, committed to the prophets, is called a burden. He that hath but slight impressions of his charge will never faithfully discharge it. (6) He must love and take pleasure in his work, be reconciled thereto. He must not only be convinced that such a work is incumbent upon him, and be some way sufficient for the discharge of it; but his heart must lie to it, he must have a will to it, else his work is not accepted; “With good-will doing the work of the Lord;” God “meeteth him that rejoiceth and worketh righteousness.” He that doth not so will not continue long in it; hence there must be a desire of the office of a bishop. Paul was affectionately desirous of the Thessalonians, and was “straitened in spirit” till he had discharged his commission; “Gladly willing to spend and be spent for you.” (7) He must be a prudent man; “Be ye wise as serpents, “Matth. x., “Being cunning, I caught you with guile; he that winneth souls is wise, There is a divine wisdom and prudence in ‘“fishing of men” for Christ. (8) He must be a tender-hearted man, ready to sympathise with all that are in affliction, either inward or outward, i Thess. ii. 7; be as a nurse to them. Compassion puts ministers to do much for the souls of people, and when people see the compassion of ministers, it takes much with them. (9) They must always live near God, and depend on Him for wisdom, courage, and success; they must be, with Moses, much in the mount. (10) They must be bold courageous men, men of great zeal for God, “not afraid of the faces of men,” but “set their faces as a flint.” (11) Humble persons, “bearing with much meekness and long-suffering those that are out of the way,” 2 Tim. ii. 25. Of all these qualifications I had some small measure, of some more, of some less, but of none what I ought to have.

SECTION III.

Observations and instructions from the aforesaid narration.

The office of the ministry is an honourable employment. What a trust and an honour hath the Lord been pleased to confer on me, that He hath intrusted me with the charge of souls, and to be His ambassador, and witness, and apostle or messenger, “for obedience to the faith among all nations.” “Unto me is this grace given, that I should preach the unsearchable riches of Christ.” (2) I perceive that I am bound to another kind of life than the rest of the world, to be holy in another manner than they; that, as the Lord hath set me in a more eminent place, so I should be more eminent in holiness, adorning the Gospel: they that “bear the vessels of the Lord’s” house ought themselves to be holy in a special manner. (3) A minister’s work and charge is very weighty; they are placed in the very front of the battle against the devil and the world, to “declare the whole counsel of God” to them; and they stake their souls for security of their faithful discharge of their duty. (4) Of all sorts of persons in the world, they have greatest need of dependence upon Christ for light and strength; for their work is far above their abilities, and therefore are they constantly to have their eyes to the Lord for daily supplies according to their need. (5) I find I have great reason to be humbled for my shortcomings in several things; as, 1st, That I have never been so sensibly affected with the great charge the Lord hath put (and I have condescended to take) upon me. 2dly, In that I have not applied myself wholly to these things, nor given myself to word and prayer as my only work. How much of my time hath been spent in not discharging any part of my duty? 3dfy, I have been sadly entangled with the affairs of this life, and my heart is so taken up with them, that I had but little heart to my charge; at least I could not wholly look to these things. 4////1’, I have not had that tenderness towards perishing souls, nor such sense of God’s presence and matters I have been speaking of. 5^/y, I have not so depended for counsel, direction, strength, and a blessing from God: I have spoken in my own wisdom too much, and have had not things so purely from God. 6t/i/y, The duty of particular exhortation much slighted: many means, as private conference, writing of letters towards saving and edifying of souls, have been neglected. *]thly, My conversation hath not been so shining and convincing as became a minister. Zthly, I was many times timorous and bashful, when I should boldly have appeared against sin and for God. For these, with many sinful defects, I desire to mourn and be humbled before the Lord, and to seek mercy through the blood of Jesus Christ.

But, however, I have great cause to be humbled for many sinful defects I have been sensibly convinced of, and to flee to the Lord Jesus’ blood shed for the remission of sins for pardoning grace; yet I have the Lord to bless, and have great peace and comfort, for not a few things that through His grace I have attained: (1) That the Lord hath so far honoured me, as to call me to serve Him in the Gospel of His Son, who was educated and placed in another station in the world, and designed by my parents and friends for another business; (2) That the Lord was at such pains, by converting me once and again, by sore spiritual conflicts and exercises, desertions, lifting up and casting down, afflictions, persecutions, death of relations, temptations, and trials, to qualify me in some measure for the ministry, and that for several years before I entered thereunto. (3) That the Lord did so wonderfully bless the little endeavours I used, and pains I took, for increasing my knowledge, improving my parts and gifts. (4) That I am in some measure not only called, but convinced of my call, to the ministry. (5) That I durst never preach anything to others, bat what I had some experience of in my own spirit; that I had myself walked in that way that I directed others to walk in; that I never gave a mark or sign of grace, but what I could say I found in myself; that I never started doubts, or endeavoured to loose them, but by these means and medicines the Lord’s Spirit had formerly proposed and loosed them to myself; I only delivered what I received from the Lord Jesus. (6) That the Lord not only commissionated me to preach and cry, but directed me always what to cry ere I preached. Every sermon I preached, I had it with some warmness and life from the Lord upon my own spirit; and I durst never preach that sermon that I was not in some measure affected with in studying before I preached it. (7) That I never undertook the office of the ministry for filthy lucre’s sake in the least, refusing money for the space of twelve years, so that I had not a farthing from any upon that or any other account during all that time, but wholly maintained myself with my own estate; nor yet mostly or altogether from pride or vain-glory, but was desirous of the office to honour and serve Christ therein, and likewise to do all the good I could to poor sinners. (8) That my labours were not altogether in vain, but much accepted with gracious persons and others, and efficacious to not a few; and my repute was amongst the best, and honoured more both at home and abroad than I desired or deserved. Common people did repute me and love me, because I spoke to their capacities, and used similitudes; those that were more knowing had me in esteem, because I was full master of whatsoever I spoke; and many liked me because I spoke of things that were little touched by others, viz, the difference betwixt law and gospel, freedom and absoluteness of the covenant, and some peculiar notions I had, which the most part did relish, but some again did so far mistake as to think I was a setter-forth of new opinions. (9) That I was in some measure endued with all the qualifications needful to a minister, though I had but a small degree of some of them. (10) That my gifts, parts, and graces sensibly increased, yea, and outward estate in the world, since I entered upon the work of the ministry. (11) That as I sensibly found my own weakness and insufficiency to do ought for the Lord, so I have as sensibly found the immediate supply of the Spirit of Grace enabling to discharge the duty of my calling in a gracious and comfortable manner. (12) I bless the Lord, whatever were my shortcomings and failings, I never dishonoured my calling by any scandalous sin; my conversation was truly, in some measure

at least, suitable to my office. (13) That I was always on the Lord Jesus’ side, and opposite to the dragon and his party. (14) That He gave me to suffer for His truth, as well as to preach His truth; and that all the malice of adversaries did never make me change in principle, or comply in the least with them.

A ministerial call is God’s command in His Word to such as He hath gifted for that employment to serve Him in the Gospel, applied by the Spirit to the heart inwardly, and found and declared to be such by such as He hath appointed for that purpose, and received for that effect by His Church. (2) The subject of this power is the Lord Jesus, from whom he receives it; but the Church, consisting of spiritual officers and professed believers, are the instruments of application; the one by election, by which he is made minister of such a people; and the other by appointment or ordination. It is from Christ that all true ministers have their commission: but the Lord Jesus, the only chief bishop, appoints servants to see His commission; and* in case they discern it to be from Christ, are to publish the same. (3) It would seem that ministers ordaining and solemnly appointing a person to the work of the ministry is much declarative of what Christ doth principally; as it is with an ambassador or herald who denounces war, it is his master who doth it, he but ministerially publishes and declares it, and at most he doth but instrumentally and ministerially denounce war. (4) Yet are not ministerial acts of preaching, ordaining, excommunicating, mere idle declarations, but have an instrumental causality, and are efficacious, producing effects; and hence we hear tell of “hewing by the prophets,” and of “the sword of Elisha, which should slay;” Jeremiah is “as fire,” and the people “as wood to be consumed.” (5) Yet it is not this by virtue of any natural, innate causality in the word preached, or other ordinance dispensed; but the Lord doth make use of the minister’s declaration (for in itself it is no more) as a passive mean to do His will by; as a channel is said to convey the water into the sea, though it cannot put forth any active efficacy thereunto. (6) In some cases ministers have authority to preach, either by election or ordination. The want of any of these doth not annul a minister’s office, the Lord conferring the power sometimes by ordination as the channel, and sometimes by election. Ordination, I think, makes a minister; or the Lord by laying on the hands of the presbytery, doth confer a right to preach, and make a minister: and the election of a people doth make a man their minister. (7) As every Christian, who is baptized in any particular church, is baptized in the universal Catholic Church, and therefore hath right to a visible fellowship with it in all privileges; so he who is ordained a minister, is a minister of the universal Catholic Church, and may exercise ministerial acts in any place of the world, may preach and administer the sacraments, and the like. (8) I suppose, therefore, the practice of indefinite ordination is very warrantable, that is, of ordaining a minister, though not to any particular charge, especially ecclesia constitue?ida, or turbata, where ministers cannot stay in one place, and where the universal confusion of the Church doth call for help. In a constitute settled church, elders indeed are appointed in every city; for so the first ministers, apostles, seventy disciples, evangelists, were ordained; so Mr Wisheart, Tindal, Bradford, Mr Patrick Hamilton, and most of our extraordinary first reformers. (9) No unqualified person, that is, no scandalous person, no ignorant or profane man, who is not able in some measure to convince the adversary, can be counted a minister in the court of heaven or of men; for God never calls such in His Word to preach, whom He hath not some way fitted for the work; nor doth the Spirit of Christ apply this call to any but to such as are qualified. And if men call any who visibly appear not to be so qualified, as they may, and also too frequently do, it is clave err ante; this

unqualified, so ordained, is no minister, more than a woman ordained is to be esteemed a minister of Christ: for the same law, that discharges and interdicts the one, interdicts the other. (10) The orifice and acts of such, as ordination and baptism, though in themselves null, yet they are effectual to godly persons, to whom their “uncircumcision becomes circumcision;” and, therefore, are not necessary to be retracted. The same I say of Popish priests, who are not ministers of Christ; the ordinances dispensed by them are all in themselves null, yet, to such as observe the law of circumcision, their “uncircumcision becomes circumcision:” and, consequently, a Popish priest turning orthodox, and renouncing the great whore, and all antichristian authority, there is no need he be re-ordained. (11) As there is no necessity of the re-ordination of such, nor of the re-baptizing of such as Popish priests or wicked scandalous ministers do baptize; so, I think, the one may be re-ordained, and the other in case of scruple may be re-baptized. (12) There is no true ministry nor true ordinance of Jesus Christ in the Popish Church, nor salvation in it as such. That work and employment, which the Lord doth call us to, is ordinarily that which we find our corrupt natures have most aversion to, and therefore most difficult; for Satan will stir up the greatest opposition thereunto, as we see in Moses and Jeremiah. Therefore that part of the ministry your hearts have greatest aversion to, and seek most to shift, is that to which you are mostly called. (2) As the foundation and ground of our call to believe on Christ is God’s Word, making it our duty to believe; so the ground and call of a person to the ministry is no other than God’s Word, such as this. “Occupy till I come; every one, wherein he is called, let him walk with God.” (3) Such as God calls to preach now, are not called to preach immediately. Much less doth the call of God to preach actually constitute them ministers; for then were they ministers before they were ordained or elected. But he is called to preach in such a manner, method, and order, that is, by the ordination and election of the Church; God will have His power to be conveyed to him in such a channel. He will have him indeed preach, but He will first have his gift and call tried; and when the servants of Christ have found the Lord to have called him, they are authoritatively in the name of Christ to enjoin him to the exercise of his gift, and to publish the same to the people. (4) Ministers ordinarily have great aversion to the work of the ministry, it being a difficult work, and a work above the strength of flesh and blood, and exposing to the hatred of all men. And such who find greatest insufficiency in themselves, and are most sensible of their wants, are truly called of God; as Jeremiah, who cried he was a child. (5) Therefore doth the Lord with the very office, or short time thereafter, bestow qualities and endowments fitting them for the service: as it is said of Saul, that the Lord did “give him a new heart” when He made him a king; the Lord many times in the very time of ordination, and thereafter, gives greater measure of grace and gifts to His servant. I cannot say but I found a sensible increase of knowledge, gifts, and graces, from the very time of my setting out, although in the very act of ordination I did not find these gifts sensibly in me, or did not find such a change. There is something of this there1- fore in that expression, “The gift that was given thee by laying on of the hands of the presbytery.” Some never find the furniture till they be engaged in the work; increase of gifts and graces therefore is a sign of God’s call to the ministry, and seal thereof.

The Lord calls to and employs men in the work of the ministry, whom He never calls effectually to be saints. He makes many in some measure meet for the ministry, and useful to the Church, who were never made meet for the kingdom of heaven, else Christ would never have called Judas to be an apostle; although such usually discharge their office neither so successfully, painfully, or comfortably, and, I am sure, never acceptably. (2) Though hypocrites and reprobates, whom the Lord Jesus doth make use of in the Church, may be true and lawful ministers, yet cannot it be instanced that the Lord Jesus in Old or New Testament did ever commission a scandalous, insufficient, or unqualified person, or one known to be a hypocrite, to serve Him. (3) I many times found, that when I thought I was most enlarged, and most sensibly assisted, either in preaching, or conference, or prayer, I have done least good, there have not been such fruits; and on the contrary, when I found greatest deadness and straitness in my spirit in ministerial exercises, I found I have done most good: to show we should not trust in ourselves, but in the Lord, in Whom alone is the blessing, and of Whom alone is the efficacy of ordinances; and to encourage ministers under indispositions, and “out of season,” to be always doing; for they may do most good when they think themselves least fitted for any such thing. (4) Sometimes, in the distempers of Spirit, I have said, I will retire and mend my nets, and for some time “hear what the Lord will say to me,” and not open my mouth to speak to others. I have then found it never worse with me, and my corruptions and my confusions to grow stronger upon me; so that I have been forced to alter my resolutionSj and appear in public; and by studying of preachings, and by preaching of them,

I have sensibly found a cure of my spiritual distempers. Nor, next to prayer, do I find anything more quickening than studying a sermon, and endeavouring after a preaching frame, and to hear what God would have me to say. (5) Before I engaged with the office of the ministry, I was engaged in a multiplicity of affairs, entangled and burdened with great debts on my father’s account, and several intricacies, which made me for some time delay my entering into the ministry. But, when I delayed, matters grew worse; and, since I resolved, the Lord hath been pleased to deliver me out of all my intricacies, so as I may, without being burdensome to any, or great distraction, attend upon my work, which is a very great encouragement to me. (6) I many times am employed in business for others, against my will truly; but ordinarily nothing that I meddle in of others’ concernments, if it be a civil business, doth prosper; and yet I prosper in all my own affairs, except when I am excessively and unseasonably taken up. (7) As discharging of my duty faithfully is my generation’s work; so I look upon my great neglect and omissions of, and slightness in, this work of the ministry, to be, as it were, my only evil, the foundation of any breaches in my soul. Here, when I reform, must I begun. (8) I seldom preach as I ought, or to my own contentment, but after sermons see need of fleeing unto the blood of sprinkling for pardon, and before this altar to mourn, grieve, and be humbled, and seek to preach better and more holily, and to be under a greater sense of what I preach, and whose words I preach, and of those to whom I speak. (9) I find multiplicity of points, though counted material preaching and quick speaking, not so refreshful to my soul, or profiting to others, as a few points well pressed and insisted upon, and gravely and slowly delivered. And therefore of late I used but slow delivery, and a few points. (10) I can speak with better utterance in prayer than in preaching. (n) I usually, especially when in a good frame, use many similitudes. (12) God doth not call all to the ministry in a like manner: as some, and ordinarily most, are very unwilling to undertake the charge, and therefore must be “thrust out,” as the word is; so others do express more willingness, readiness, and inclination to it. Hence some are said to “desire the office of a bishop;” and Isaiah saith, “Send me,” and offers himself to go; whereas Moses and Jeremiah are hardly brought over. (13) Ordinarily, before a minister’s closing with the work of the ministry, there is an exercising of the person with great and various tentations, and regeneration (as one calls it), that the person, as it were, passes under a new work of conversion, of conviction of sin, and pardon and justification intimated unto his conscience, without which a gracious soul will be very loath to engage in such a wTork. So Isaiah was really humbled under a sense of guilt, and made to cry out, until by a comfortable voice he be assured that his iniquity is pardoned and himself justified. (14) There is not only need of a gift and endowment to preach, but great need of the actual breathing of the Spirit to stir up and excite the gift that is in them; without which, though the Lord has been pleased to give some small measure of talents, yet can they not preach more than a child. (15) To draw souls to, and build them up in Christ Jesus, is and ought to be the great end and scope of all faithful ministers. Christ is the Alpha and Omega of preaching, He is the centre wrhere all the lines ought to meet; and, wThere Christ is not the sense and life of preaching, wTe lose the text. (16) No secret or mystery is more needful, and a minister should be versed in or acquainted with, than the depth of the covenant of grace, Christ and faith, the promises and the law.