Chapter X
He following letter was written to a young
girl who had been spending a week or two
with Alice: —
“TSWEDELLE, July 20, 1 863.
“My Dear Friend, —
..” I cannot tell thee how much I long that thou shouldst have that settled confidence toward God which will make thee sure at all times that He has redeemed thee, and ’ blotted out as a thick cloud thy transgressions, for in this way canst thou best honour and please Him. ‘He that believeth hath set to his seal that God is true.’ Thou wilt remember that the first sin that came into the world was unbelief. Before Eve disobeyed God by eating of the forbidden fruit she doubted His word. Satan told her, ‘Ye shall not surely die,’ and she believed what he said rather than what God had said. First, she lost her faith in God’s love towards them [in denying them what seemed to her good for them], then, after thus doubting His love, she was ready to doubt His truth, and the natural consequence of this was disobedience.
“Thus the first sin was unbelief, and in God’s supreme ordering, faith, or belief, is the first thing in the sinner which He can impute to Him as righteousness (Rom. iv. 16-25). The natural mind cannot realise the exceeding sinfulness of unbelief toward God, or the blessedness of faith in Him; but ‘His ways are not our ways, nor His thoughts our thoughts, for He tells us in the Scriptures that unbelief is the condemning sin (John iii. 18, 36; John. viii. 24, 46; John xvi. 9; 1 John v. 10). And again, that 1 He that believeth on the Son hath eternal life, and shall not come into condemnation.’ But it is of great importance to remember that our faith, apart from its object, has neither value nor existence. It is what we believe in that makes our faith valuable, and the ground on which we believe it that determines its stability.
“And what is it that the sinner must believe? Simply that Jesus is the Christ, and that He died to save sinners, and that he himself is a sinner (Acts xiii. 38, 39; 1 Tim. i. 15: 1 John v. 1). If he believes God’s testimony concerning Christ — and either we do believe it or we do not: there is no middle place between faith and doubt — if he believes this, then God says of him that ‘he is justified’ — he 1 hath everlasting life ’ — he ’ shall not come into condemnation ’ — but that he ’ is passed from death unto life’ — and to doubt this is to make God a liar (1 John v. 10, n). Christ is the Saviour; faith only apprehends Him. Do not try to find out whether thou hast faith — look at Jesus, not at thy faith. If we want to know whether we can see, we look at something; we do not begin to feel our eyes, or go to the doctor to have them examined. So it is with faith; if uncertain whether we ever believed, no matter, let us believe now. The Bible says, ‘He that believeth ’ — not did believe or will believe, but he that believeth — ‘hath’ — not did have or will have, but ‘hath eternal life.’ It is Jesus, not our faith. Remember when a beggar comes to take the bread you offer, it is the loaf he looks at, not his hands which he stretches out to receive it. Hold, dear friend, ’ the beginning of thy confidence steadfast unto the end, for so are we made partakers of Christ (Hebrews iii. 14).”
“Tswedelle, August 4, 1863.
“My Dear B. C —
“I cannot tell you how much we have thought of you since the dreadful riot in your city (New York).... I feared lest it might be too much for your poor body, even if your house was preserved from fire or the depredations of the mob.
“As for your spirit, I felt sure you would be able to say with the Psalmist, ‘In the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret of His tabernacle shall He hide me; He shall set me upon a rock. And now shall mine head be lifted up above mine enemies around about me; therefore will I offer in His tabernacle sacrifices of joy; I will sing, yea, I will sing praises unto the Lord.’...
“I have been enjoying the last part of the 4th chapter of 2d Corinthians so much lately. ‘Our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while Ye look not at the things that are seen, but at the things that are not seen, for the things that are seen are temporal, but the things that are not seen are eternal, I never noticed until lately how the whole sentence hangs on that ’ while we look, for we know that sorrow and affliction do not always work for us a far more exceeding weight of glory, and this explains how it is. If we look at the seen thing, which is the affliction, it crushes us down to earth; but if we keep our eyes fixed upon the unseen thing, which is God’s love in sending it, and power to support us through it, then it worketh for us a far more exceeding weight of glory. It has been very interesting to me to notice how everything in this world has a seen side and an unseen side to it. The seen side we look at with the eye of flesh, while the unseen side is only beheld by the eye of faith. Death, to the eye of flesh, is terrible and appalling, but faith sees that it is only the gate to heaven,”...
To M. M. J.
“TSWEDELLE, Oct. 8, 1 863.
“My Dear Little M, —
...” I am so glad that you have been blessed by a fresh outpouring of the Spirit of the Lord. How these heavenly glimpses of His beauty and His nearness strengthen and reanimate us for the fight! It is indeed sweet to feel the lovely robe of Christ’s righteousness wrapped about us, and when we realise it thus, what presumption and folly all our former efforts appear to pin some of the rags of our own righteousness on to this perfect mantle!
“I have been trying to make that idea of Madame Guion, about having the will of God for our treasure
N a practical matter, and I find it very sweet. If it is our treasure, no trial nor trouble nor sorrow can rob us of it. No circumstance but has its sweetness, though to the natural eye it seems most trying..
“I cannot begin to tel. you what nice times we have with Annfe and the children: they are too sweet to speak of; particularly Master Thomas Frederick, a young gentleman of eleven months old, perfect in form, feature, and behaviour, the very most playful, sweetest, and cunningest little rogue that ever lived, and, best of all, he is quite devoted to his Aunt Alice. Annie expects to start for St John day after to-morrow, and I shall probably go as far as Boston with her....
“And now I must close, although I have much more that I would like to say. May our dear Lord draw us both very close to Himself in the path of self-abandoning obedience. How I long to live nearer and still nearer to Him each day!”
“Tswedelle, Nov. 28, 1S63.
” My Dear Carrie, —
...” I arrived at home last second day, after a most interesting 2nd delightful visit at Brooklyn. I sincerely hope it will be blessed.
...” I am sorry to hear of thy perplexities, but it will no doubt be all arranged as is best. Is it not a comfort to feel that our Lord’s hand is in the everyday matters of life? I am sure that if we do not believe in His having the arrangement of these, it is folly to think that He arranges anything for us....
“I am enjoying the subject of the ’ second coming’ very much. I have gone back to my old plan of taking an hour every day for reading and devotion, and I find the greatest comfort in it. We cannot be healthy and strong on little snatches of spiritual food, any more than we can on just little bits of earthly food taken irregularly, instead of our meals. Do let us watch and pray against the temptation to push our time for devotion into a corner. Satan is so subtle and our hearts are so deceitful..
“I had a very satisfactory talk with this morning. His conversion seems like a real one; he rejoices in the full assurance of faith, and says life and the Bible seem new to him....
“I want to come down and see thee very- much, but I really think I cannot until just before Christmas. I have so much that must be done. Poor little Ernest has nothing but his blue merino dress and some lisht calicoes. He is here on a visit now. Last Thursday was Thanksgiving-day, and we drove over to the Home, to take them some thanksgiving. We gave each child a red apple and a cake, besides some other substantial which we left for them. We brought Ernest home with us, as I wanted to fix up his clothes. He is a dear little fellow, as good as a kitten. He calls me ‘Aunt Alice ’ nicely now, and often comes up during the day for a kiss. He is so affectionate, I am really enjoying him. ... I pray that the Lord will make him a good Christian man, and then, whatever becomes of him, he will live to the glory of God, and that is all I want. But I must not spend the time talking about him when I ought to be sewing for him.
“It is quite too bad that I should write a long letter like this, and not one word about the things in which we are most interested. I will give thee a text from Psalm xxxii. 8, 9, a sweet promise which I have been enjoying, ‘I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way that thou shalt go, I will guide thee with mine eye. Be ye not as the horse or as the mule, which have no understanding, whose mouth must be held in with bit and bridle.’ What a loving appeal to our spiritual nature! My heart goes up in earnest prayer that both thou and I may be guided by His loving eye, and not make it necessary for Him to drive us with His chastening rod.”
“Tswedelle, Dec. 1863.
“My Own Precious Sister Carrie, —
... “I have been as fully occupied this week as ever. I had such a refreshing day last Sabbath. Nothing outward, but a refreshing outpouring of the Spirit in my soul. How wonderful a thing is communion with God! It seems too glorious for such sinful mortals as we, but still we do taste it sometimes. How different everything looks when we see it from God’s point of view! Of how little consequence do all earthly things appear, and how sweet to yield ourselves to His care and guidance! Oh, to live always so, would it not be sweet!”
“Tswedelle, Feb. 17, 1864.
“My Own Darling H, —
“I have wanted inexpressibly to see or hear from thee, but I have been too sick to write, until within a few days. I was in bed for ten days, suffering most intensely, though not dangerously, and since then have been too tired and weak to do anything but sleep.
“I was so glad to get thy letter last evening, only it made me long to see thee, my precious sister cousin.
“I felt disappointed at first about, but it only
lasted for a moment, for it is so evidently of the Lord’s arranging; and when you once begin to rejoice in the Lord’s will, because it is His will, you can’t bear to lose the chance, can you? It is so sweet a pleasure. I would not say this to any one but thee, dearest, for it might imply to some that I thought my will broken; but thou knows full well that subdued for the present is a very different thing from dead.”...
“TSWEDELLE, April 1 864.
“My Dear S , —
... “Oh, for real friendship we must not stop short of Jesus. There is none like Him. Why are we always seeking to rest in the hearts of our fellow-men? I think one reason may be, that we do not have that realising faith in His humanity that is our privilege. We are so apt to exalt the love wherewith Jesus loved us into something so high above our comprehension, that we cannot rest in it as we do in human love. Yet does He not love us with the fulness of a human heart, only perfectly pure and unselfish, and infinitely deeper and sweeter than anything in this world ever can be? It seems to me that if we are really satisfied in Him, we shall be more thoroughly independent of our fellow-men than we now even dream we could be.”
To M. M. J.
“Tswedelle, May 9, 1S64.-
‘; My Dear M , —
...” I have so much to say to you, darling, that I scarcely know where to begin. I have been thinking a great deal about you, and wanted to write; but you know sometimes when the wish is strong the energy is lacking....
“We have been having considerable company staying with us, which is very engrossing, as, of course, some one had to be with them, and We had not very good servants. Then Carrie’s nurse left her, and she had to pick up her baby and Frank and come up to look for one. She was here over a week, during which time the baby (Marion) was our constant care — just as sweet as she could be, but determined not to let us do much but pet her. Then came house-cleaning, that bugbear of all housekeepers; and then all the vines had to be trimmed, and the gardening attended to, which, you know, takes time. I tell you all this that you may imagine a little how your friend has been occupied.
‘* As for spring clothes, do not speak of them j the warm weather is down upon us, and I have not done a thing for myself, but am suffering in winter clothing. One thing I am not behindhand in; 1 believe I have Ernest almost all ready for summer.
“S. S and I drove over to the ‘Home ’ on
Saturday, and took him some things, and a dozen broad-brimmed straw hats, all lined and trimmed for the children to wear out in the sun. They were perfectly delighted with them. Coming home we stopped on the Wissahickon at Kriesheim Creek, and walked to the ‘Devil’s Whirlpool.’ We had a lovely time. I thought of you, and gathered a few wild flowers, which I have put in press for you. I wish you could have enjoyed with us the exquisite beauty of the place. It is just like summer here, the trees so very green, and all the fruit trees in blossom, and the whole face of nature wearing such a full bloom.
“And now, my darling, I have told you a little of external things what shall I say of spiritual? My heart is full of much that I long to tell you, but a letter seems too short to attempt it. ... I have been enjoying a piece of poetry about the ‘Will of God’ so much. It expresses what it is — just to rest, like a little child, upon His will, and be satisfied. In one place it says: —
‘I run no risks, for come what will,
Thou always hast Thy way.’
“Is it not blessed to hold a position where we may feel that even in this uncertain world we run no risks?
... “My text is Heb. iv. 16: ‘Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace,’ &c. Is it not sweet? n
“Tswedelle, May 16, 1864.
...” I Ions: to tell thee, dearest H,
everything that interests me, but, after all, I have not, much to tell. Of that matter about which we spoke when last together, nothing, only that the Lord is taking care of it, and I fully believe that He will make me, weak and sinful as I am, to do just His will about it....
“God is so good. If it is His will that I should lie down, and let Him use His scourge of small cords, I think I could not help lying still, for I do realise that He loves me so.”...
“Ts WEDELLE, May 1 864.
“My Dear Sister Annie, —
“I have just come from down stairs, where I have been reading to our old cook. Poor old thing! she cannot read, and she likes me to read to her so much. She is not a Christian, but I had a very solemn time with her this evening, over the fifty-fifth chapter of Isaiah. How lovely those words are, ‘Ho, every one that thirsteth.’ It has seemed to me that they apply very often to my soul, for how often do we go empty and thirsty, when He is calling us to come and drink, to buy wine and milk without money and without price? How different is the wine which He gives from the wine of earthly joy which intoxicates! We may well say, in the words of the Canticles, ‘Thy love is better than wine.’
“Life seems to me such a solemn thing to-night. Perishing souls all around us, and Satan trying his best to lull us into forge tfulness of their great danger and our deep responsibility. But, oh, how sweet it is to feel that we rest on an everlasting arm which is about us, and a sovereign power that worketh for us, and in us.”
“Millville, June 3, 1864.
“Dear S —
... “The steady, unchanging light of the Sun of Righteousness is a far better thing to reflect and bask in than any brightness of earth. A cloud may have dissipated the glow of earthly brightness even now from your spirit; but I know that the glory of the grace of God is, and ever will be, shining down in a flood of everlasting light upon your head. May no cloud of earth ever hide it from your eyes!”
From this date very few family letters can be found. Those written by her, during the succeeding two or three years, to her sister in St John, do not seem to have been preserved, and the removal of her sister Carrie and family to the cottage at Tswedelle referred to in the following letter, brought them into daily companionship, thus removing the necessity of correspondence.
To M. M. J.
“Tswedelle, J tine 20, 1S64.
“My Dear Little M, —
“Your letter received at Millville would have called forth an answer immediately, but that I have scarcely had time to breathe slowly since I came home. I had to finish some things in a great hurry for the Sanitary Fair, and then we have had a great deal of company, and, as I am the only young person at home, I drive them about, and entertain generally, which you know runs off with time wonderfully.
“That promise never wears out, ‘All things work together for good,’ and particularly when we lay all the arrangement of things on Him by faith, how can we ever doubt that He is managing for us?
To rest our will on His, is the sweetest thing on earth. I will copy a lovely hymn on this subject for you. I have learned it, and repeat it to myself continually, and do take such satisfaction in it that I want you to have it too.*
... “I have a piece of news to tell you. My sister Carrie is coming here to live. The old farm-house is being fixed up for them, and they expect to move the first of July. Will it not be splendid to have them so near?”
Dear Alice’s reference in the above letter to driving her friends about, recalls many pleasant associations. She always very much enjoyed showing her friends the beautiful country in the vicinity of her home, pointing out to them with animation, as they rode along, spots of interest or of especial beauty, while at the same time she managed a pair of horses with graceful ease, driving fearlessly, and yet carefully, up and down the steep Pennsylvania hills, to the decided disquietude of some of her companions, who were quite unused to so fair and delicate a driver.
Sometimes she would drive on an unfrequented road to a retired spot, and then, fastening her horses to a tree or a fence, lead the whole party through the woods in search of moss or wild flowers.
A few miles from Tswedelle is Valley Forge, where Washington and his troops were quartered for many months, and where the earth-works thrown up by them are still to be seen. Here on one occasion Alice conducted a party of her young friends, and,
* See Hymn, page 304.
selecting a wild and shady spot under the branches of an old pine tree, they spread upon a large flat rock a simple repast which they had brought with them.
No earthly pleasure, however pure and simple, was fully enjoyed by Alice unless sanctified by the presence of the Lord, and, at her request, before partaking of their little feast, they rendered unto Him an offering by singing a hymn of praise. Scarcely had they finished when a drunken man appeared upon the scene, and approaching them familiarly, placed his bundle and jug upon the ground, and, seating himself beside them, asked the little group in rather incoherent tones for a song. Alice replied, “We will sing for you if you will then go away and leave us.” This condition appeared to make the man very angry, and he answered, in coarse and threatening language, that he would do just as he pleased about that. Alice felt frightened and worried, but, casting herself and friends upon the protecting care of her Heavenly Father, she began to sing —
“Guide me, oh Thou great Jehovah,”
her friends joining in. As they proceeded it was most interesting to watch the softening of the expression of his hard features. Perhaps the sacred strain touched a tender chord in his not utterly hardened heart, recalling some touching memories of childhood. Be that as it may, when they had finished he arose, and, with a gentle “Thank you,” took up his bundle and jug, and proceeded quietly on his way.
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