Feeble Health—Loses the Sight of Her Right Eye

Feeble health — Loses the sight of her right eye — Leaves Wantage — Its educational and religious improvement — A winter in New York city. — Takes charge of a female academy at Springfield — Her health fails — Resigns her school’ — Engages in teaching at Clinton — Hopeful conversions among the children — Changes her Church relation.

When the autumnal months came on I found my health failing. I had taken a violent cold, which settled upon my lungs, producing a cough, which almost entirely unfitted me for the duties devolving upon me. I, however, continued my school through the winter. In the spring I found myself so miserable, that I was convinced that I must either relax or renounce my labors entirely. Mrs. T. advised me to give up the school I then taught, and take charge of the one near the parsonage, where my duties would be less arduous. Others, too, were anxious that I should do so, and I at last complied with their wishes. I found the Sabbath school here in a flourishing state, many being engaged in instructing the children in the principles of our holy religion. I therefore felt constrained to confine my labors to my week-day school.

My health now rapidly declined. One day, having some distance to walk in the hot sun, I sunk under it, and was very sick for some days. At this time I lost the sight of my right eye, and the sight of the other became impaired. I, however, continued my school till October, when my strength entirely failed me, and I was obliged to give it up. After resting for six weeks, I thought I had gained sufficient strength to admit of my going to New York, where I hoped that something might be done for my eyes. My friends, unwilling that I should leave them unless compelled to do so, endeavored to«persuade me to stay, thinking I might, after a few months, resume my labors. I consulted with a skillful physician, who gave it as his opinion that I was rapidly sinking with the consumption. This convinced me that I could be of no farther benefit to this dear people. The thought of leaving them was truly afflicting to me, especially as they expressed great sympathy and love for me at that time. But I did not leave till I had promised to return to them the following spring, in case God should spare my life and restore my health. Thus, after a residence of more than seven years at Wantage, I took — as it proved — my final leave of it. During that time the progress of education and the repeated revivals of religion had greatly changed the state of its society. These mountains and valleys had become a fruitful field, and the desert had been made to blossom as a rose. In this highly-favored township there are at present two. flourishing boarding-schools, and female schools are very abundant. After leaving the spot that had become endeared to me by so many fond remembrances, I proceeded on my journey to New York. On my arrival there I was very feeble and much emaciated. My friends were greatly surprised at my altered looks, and seemed to have no hope of my recovery. I did not go out at all during the winter, and when spring returned I found my cough measurably decreased, and my sight improved. This was in the year 1834. In the month of May I was solicited to take charge of the young ladies’ department in the academy at Springfield, New Jersey. I readily accepted the call, and commenced my labors; but I soon became too feeble to go on with them. A tumor in my throat, which had been growing several years, now ulcerated, so that the pain at times was excruciating. I was, consequently, again obliged to relinquish my labors, and go to live with my sister, who resided about two miles from Springfield. I remained with her through the winter, and taught her children. In the month of April, 1835, I commenced teaching at Chnton, about two miles from Springfield; but I was still feeble, and my mind much troubled from the fear that I should be totally blind — a dreadful, and, I may say, truly-painful thought to me at that time. I felt, if my usefulness should cease, my life would indeed be a burden.

I, however, tried to commit all my interests into the hands of God, and devote my remainmg energies to his service. My sight gradually failed; but my labors were still blessed, and my school grew every day more interesting. One iittle girl was soon hopefully converted, and a general seriousness pervaded the school, which has since resulted in the conversion of many. About this time I received an invitation from a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church t(j attend upon the services held in their church at Springfield. I was pleased to accept it, and the next Sabbath morning accompanied my friend to the church. The remarks of the pastor were founded upon these words: “He shall see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied.” He told the story of the cross in a very touching manner, and I was much encouraged and strengthened. I often attended this Church, and found myself greatly benefited in attending class meetings. I felt that it would be a privilege to be united with this dear people, and I sometimes felt it an imperative duty to identify myself with them. My name was still on the record of the First Presbyterian Church at Wantage, where I had been received by certificate. At first I thought I would send for a letter of dismission from that Church; but, after mature deliberation, decided to join the Methodist Church on probation. I therefore gave the Church at Wantage notice of my intention, and, without further delay, ofi’ered myself as a probationer of the Methodist Episcopal Church.

After taking this step, I felt so free, so peaceful and happy, that I was assured it was pleasing to God. I almost fancied myself a little bird, thai had long been imprisoned, and.

being set at liberty, was constantly on the wing. My cup of blessings, which had always been full, now overflowed. I had great light and liberty of mind, and drank copious draughts from the wells of salvation. Though I found much to call forth my gratitude to God among these, the dear people of my choice, yet I was also subject to some disappointments. With them I had hoped to find the enjoyment of the witness of holiness the general experience of the ministry and people; but, to my surprise, found the experimental witnesses of this grace few and far between. It was, indeed, a matter of astonishment to me, that so many were living so far beneath what they knew to be their privilege. Too many not only did not enjoy it, but had confused ideas on the subject. Some believed it was not attainable till a dying hour; others thought it attainable, but that sanctification and justification were both received at the same time; while some seemed sincere in thinking that it could be possessed only by few.