Leaning on Jesus

Oward the close of 1829 1 was led to doubt the

propriety of continuing with the London society. ‘It seemed unscriptural for a servant of Christ to put himself under the control of any one but the Lord. A kind, loving correspondence with the society ended in “a dissoiution of my relation to them, and I was free to preach the gospel wherever Providence opened the way.

Dec? 31. — Arrived at Exmouth. After I had preached in that neighborhood three weeks, I went to Teignmouth, where I preached three times each Lord’s day for twelve weeks. God set his seal on the work in converting sinners, and the whole little Church unanimously invited me to be their pastor, offering to give me 55 pounds a year, which sum was afterward increased,

One day this question was put to me: “Have you ever read the Bible, and prayed with reference to baptism?” I said, “No,” The answer was, “Never speak any more about it until you have,” -I determined to know the truth, asked God to teach me, and read the New, Testament through with reference to this point. Many objections came to me,

1. Since holy men are divided, it is not expected we should come to a satisfactory conclusion. Answer: If this ordinance is revealed in the Word, may I not know it?

2. A few of my friends have been baptized; those opposed to believer’s baptism will turn their backs on HE

me. Answer: Though all men forsake me, if the Lord will take me up I shall be happy.

3. You will lose half your income. Answer: If I am faithful the Lord will not suffer me to want.

4. People will call you a Baptist. Answer: It does

“not follow.

5. You will have to confess that you have been in error.’ Answer: Better confess error than continue in it. i

6. If a believer’s baptism should be right, it is too late to attend to it. Answer: Better fulfill God’s command ever so late than continue in neglect of it.

Brought into this state of heart, I saw that believers only are subjects for baptism (Mark xvi, 16; Acts ii, 38; viii, 37), and immersion the Scriptural mode (John iii, 23; Acts viii, 26, 38, 39), and was baptized, by immersion, in the spring of 1830. Let me say, No truth is more clearly revealed in the Word. Not one true friend turned from me. Though I lost money, the Lord made up the loss most bountifully. My example led many to examine the subject and submit to this ordinance.

Octoher 7, 1830, I was married to Miss Mary Groves.* This step was taken after prayer and deliberation, from a full conviction it was better for me to be married. I have never regretted it, but am truly grateful to God for such a wife. i

I have conscientious objections to receiving a salary. My reasons are:

1. A salary made up by pew rents is not the mind of the Lord, as the poor brother can not have so good a seat as the rich. (James ii, 1-6.)

* Sister of the dentist who gave up his profession.

2. God. loves avcheeriul); Siveryo (27 Cor ix) TA brother may gladly do something for my support if left to his own tinte. I have known where it was not convenient to pay money when asked for by the collectors.

3. Pew rents are a snare to the servant of Christ. It was a temptation to me, for a few moments, when the Lord stirred me to search the Word with reference to baptism, because thirty pounds of my” salary were at stake if I should be baptized. i

I stated to the brethren that I should give up having a regular salary. A box was put in the chapel, over which was written, that whosoever desired to do something towards my support, might put his offering in the box.

At the same time it appeared right that I should ask no one, not even my beloved: brethren, to help me, as I had, a few times, at their own request, as my expenses for traveling in the Lord’s service were too great to be met by income. Unconsciously I had thus been led to trust in an arm of flesh, instead of going to the Lord at once.

About this time my wife and I had grace given us to take the Lord’s commandment literally, “Sell that ye have, and give alms” (Luke xii, 33), and carry it out. Our staff and support were Matt vi, 19; John xiv, 13, 14. We leaned on the arm of the Lord.

It is now twenty-five years since we set out in this way, and we do not in the least regret the step.

Nov. 1, 1930. — Our money was reduced to eight shillings. I was led to ask the Lord for money. About

aS four hours afterwards a sister said, “Do you need money?” “I told the brethren,” said I, “dear sister, when I gave up my salary, that I would tell the Lord only about my wants.” She replied: “I asked the Lord what I should do for Him, and He told me to give you some money.” My heart rejoiced seeing the Lord’s faithfulness, but thought best not to tell her about our circumstances, and turned the conversation to other subjects. But when I left she gave me two guineas. We were full of joy on account of the goodness of the Lord.

Wednesday 1 went to Exmouth. Our money had been reduced to nine shillings. 1 asked the Lord on Thursday, at Exmouth, to give me money. On Friday I was led to ask again for money; and before I arose from my knees I had full assurance. As I left, the brother with whom I was staying gave me half a sovereign, saying, “Take this for expenses.”

I did not expect to have my expenses paid; but I saw the Lord’s fatherly hand in sending me this money within one hour after my asking. But I was so assured the Lord would send more that, when I came home, I asked my wife if she had received any letters. She had received one the day before from Exeter, with three sovereigns. Thus my prayer on the preceding day had been answered, The next day a brother brought me four pounds, due of my former salary, which I never expected, as I did not know it was due. I received, in thirty hours, in answer to prayer, seven pounds, ten shillings.

This closes the year 1839. Throughout the Lord has richly supplied all my temporal wants, though at the commencement I had no certain prospect for one singie shilling.

On January 6, 7, 8, 1831, I repeatedly asked the Lord for money, and received none. On January Sth 1 was so sinful, for about five minutes, as to think it would be of no use to trust the Lord in this way, that 1 had gone too far. But, thanks to the Lord, this trial lasted but a few minutes. He enabled me again to trust him, and Satan was immediately confounded; for a sister brought us two pounds.

Jan. 10 — To-day, when we had only a few shillings, five pounds were taken out of the box. I had told the brethren to have the kindness to let me have the money once a week; but they, perhaps, forgot. It was taken out every four or five weeks. As I had stated to them that ] desired to Jook neither to man nor the box, but to the living God, I thought it not right to remind them of my request to have the money weekly. On this account, when we had but little money, though I had seen the brethren take out the money, I would not ask the brother in whose hands it was to let me have it; but as our coal was almost gone, I asked the Lord to incline his heart to bring it; and, a little while afterward, it Was given.

Mar. 7. — Again tempted to disbelieve the faithfulness of the Lord, and, though not miserable, still I was not so fully resting on the Lord that I could triumph with joy. One hour iater the Lord gave me another proof of his faithful love. A Christian lady brought five sovereigns, with these words written on the paper: “I was hungry, and ye gave me meat.” (Matt. xxv, 35.)

Apr. 16. — This morning our money was reduced to three shillings, and I said I must ask the Lord for a fresh supply; but, before I prayed, there came, from Exeter, two pounds. The Lord hears before we call. (Isaiah lxv, 24.)

If any child of God thinks such a mode of living leads away from the Lord, causing the mind to be taken up with the question, “What shall we eat?” (Matt. vi, 31), I ask him to prayerfully consider the following:

I. I have had experience of both ways. My present mode of living is connected with less care.

2. Confidence in the Lord, to whom alone I look for the supply of my temporal wants, keeps me, when a case of distress comes before me, from anxious reckoning. “Will my salary last out?” Iam able to say, “My Lord is not limited; He can again supply; He knows.” This way of living, so far from leading to anxiety, is the means of keeping from it. And truly, as was once said to me, “You can do such things, and need not to lay by, for the whole of Devonshire cares about your wants.” My reply was: “The Lord can use, not merely the saints throughout Devonshire, but throughout the world, to supply my temporal wants.”

3. This way of living has often been the means of reviving the work of grace in my heart when 1 have been getting cold; and bringing me back to the Lord, alter I have been backsliding. For it is not possible to live ín sin, and, by communion with God, draw down from heaven everything one needs.

4. Frequently fresh answers to prayer, obtained ‘in this way, have quickened my soul, filling me with joy.

May 12. — A sister staying at Teignmouth on account of her health, was about to return home to-day. We saw it the Lord’s will to invite her to come with us, as we knew she would stay longer if her means allowed. We were persuaded the Lord would pay the expenses connected with her stay. «About the time she came, a parcel with money was sent from Chumleigh.

Nov. 27. — Lord’s day. Our money reduced to two pence, halfpenny; our bread hardly enough for this day. I had, several times, brought our needs before the Lord. After dinner, when I returned thanks, I asked him to give us our daily bread, meaning, literally, bread for the evening. Whilst praying, there was a knock at the door. A poor sister came in, and brought us some of her dinner; and, from another poor sister, five shillings.

Feb. 18. — This afternoon I broke a blood-vessel in my stomach, and lost considerable blood. I was very happy.

Feb. 19- — This Lord’s-day morning two brethren called to ask me what arrangements should be made for preaching. I asked them, kindly, to come back in an hour. After they were gone the Lord gave me faith to rise, dress, and go to the chapel, I was enabled to preach with a loud, strong voice, the usual time. After the meeting, a medical friend called, and entreated me not to preach in the afternoon, as it might greatly injure me. I told him, “I should consider it presumption to do so had the Lord not given me faith” I preached in the afternoon, and this medical friend called again, and said the same concerning the evening. Nevertheless, having faith, I preached. After each meeting I became stronger, a plain proof that the hand of God was in the matter.

Mar. 19. — Our landlady sent again of her meat for our dinner. We have but a halfpenny left. I feel myself cold in asking for money; still, I hope, though I do not see whence money is to come. We were not able to buy bread to-day.

Mar. 20. — A day of great mercies. In the morning we met round our breakfast which the Lord had provided for us, though we had not a single penny left. The last halfpenny was spent for milk, I felt it a trial that I had but little earnestness in asking the Lord; and had this not been the case, perhaps we might have had our wants sooner supplied.