A Charge Intended to Have Been Addressed to the Wife of a Minister, at the Ordination of Her Husband

Proverbs xix. 14.
A prudent icife is from the Lord.

My esteemed friend and sister: — As

this peculiar service did not arise in the preacher from affectation, or a wish to excite notice and remark, so he is persuaded your ready compliance with the proposal of it, has been only the result of a concern how to please the Lord, whose providence has called you to occupy the station you are now filling. He therefore most willingly engages in it, and hopes that the example, at least as to its spirit, will be hereafter followed. Yet he feels solicitude; and as the effort is novel and probationary, he is not a little concerned for the goodness of the precedent. He fears nothingj indeed, from mere human opinion: he never would enter on any religious engagement unless he was at liberty to obey all the dictates of his conviction. While therefore, on the one hand, he will not seek to give pain or oiFence; on the other, he is bound to shun every appearance of adulation. How strange that persons should ever dare to pander to the appetite of vanity, in holy exercises, and under the immediate eye of God; instead of being raised into a dignified independence of mind, by feeling the sentiment of Elihu: ‘I know not to give flattering titles: in so doing, my Maker would take me away.’

But as ignorance is not necessary to humility, so neither is it flattery to remind people of their real and relative importance, in order to make them sensible of their responsibilities, and anxious to discharge their obligations.

We rejoice that your sex is elevated to its proper rank in the community. In barbarous ages, and in all savage countries, it never rose to any of the dignities and rights of social, rational, and immortal beings. Some philosophers have strangely argued, whether men have been improved by the progress of civilination, and advancement of the arts and sciences; but no one can deny that women owe much, for a happy change in their condition, to the prevalence of knowledge and polished life. Yet what were the daughters of Greece and Rome, compared with the daughters of Zion? What did even chivalry accomplish for the objects of its enthusiasm, compared with the benefits the female race have derived from the doctrine and spirit of Christianity? It is the religion of Jesus, that, far beyond every human institution, has, for you, softened the manners of the multitude, and subdued the fierceness and tyranny of physical power and dominion. It is this, that has delivered -you from the discords and wretchedness of polygamy and divorce. It is this, that, instead of degrading you as the slaves, or seducers of the other sex, leads us to regard you as our companions, our friends, our sisters; the fellow-heirs of the grace of life; the daughters of the Lord Almighty. The light that has been shed upon your true destination and worth, will prevent their ever being concealed or denied in future. It is now too late to controvert the claims which are so justly your due; or refuse to acknowledge that you must have, that you ought to have, that you are designed to have, a great influence in the relations and interests of society.

Yet the manner in which this influence is to be most properly and advantageously exerted and employed, is not only a question of wisdom, but, as far as the mind of God is made known concerning it, a matter of absolute submission. The ground of moral duty is the same with regard to all; but the exemplification of the principle must vary according to the connexions and circumstances of individuals. And therefore I need not say, that you are expressly forbidden to occupy the office of your husband, and publicly teach in the church. This prohibition will not surprise or offend any one who reflects, that God has a right to order all affairs in his own house; and that none of his decisions are arbitrary. We judge from very limited views of things; and in no case can we infallibly determine what may be best, eventually, and upon the whole. But his understanding is infinite; and his judgment is always according to truth.

Regulation is not degradation. God himself is the grand example of order. He who is above all, submits to rule. He does, not what he would, but what he ought; or, as his word expresses it, ’ what becomes him;’ what ’ behoveth him;’ what ’ seemeth good in his sight.’

Services uncalled of God, are unacceptable to him: he may pardon them, but he cannot reward them. The result of maintaining the laws of order and decorum, is more important to the welfare of society, than a few instances of usefulness arising from the violation of them; and which are more noticed because they stand out to observation; and are commonly magnified above their real desert, in consequence of their specious and immediate effect. There is danger too, that when persons have once broken their rank, and have enjoyed the sweetness of notice and applause, they will never subside into entire regularity again. Your husband would have run no little risk, had he, in the election of a wife, made choice of an expositor of the scriptures, whether in public, or even in the social circle. Some of the same disposition would probably have been left still working the same way: as we too often see in those individuals in our churches who become occasional preachers; they seldom feel again as mere members; and are the most dissatisfied and trying hearers with whom their pastors have to deal.

Limitation is not obstruction. It confines indeed; but it is the confinement of direction, not of hindrance. It does not oppose, but guide. It resembles the banks of a river, which, not keeping the stream back, but only keeping it in, invite and aid along its course; while the current pursues the noiseless tenour of its way, even and clear, reflecting the sky, and refreshino- and adorninf]^ the earth. How much better is this, than the turbid licentiousness of the flood, though it may make a greater show, and a greater noise; and draw more gazers to its spreading, wild, and dangerous invasions.

The Greeks did not permit the men to have much intercourse with female society, unless they were related; and the Asiatics laid upon their women yet greater restraints. Hence, as Christian churches were first formed in Greece and Asia, it might have been inferred, that such females as wanted other instruction than was given in the public assemblies, must have received it in private, from some of their own sex; and that from them also, women in penury, distress, and confinement, must have received visits of succour and comfort. Accordingly we find females, eligible from their knowledge, experience, discretion, and age, were appointed for these purposes. They are often referred to in the Epistles. Paul speaks of those ’ women that laboured with him in the gospel.’ In the earher periods of Ecclesiastical History, we perceive women having some offices analogous to those of the men. But they were of a private nature. Our brethren, the Moravians, retain some functions of this kind; and we believe no man, among them, can be a pastor who is unmamed; as there are services required of the wife, as well as of the husband. But none of them are consonant with the public ministration of the word. How far any appointments of a similar order might be profitably established in our churches, it would not be perhaps improper to inquire.

But we are not going at present to attempt any new schemes. We deem it preferable to take things as they are; and endeavour to improve what is practicable; rather than to deal in what is speculative. We therefore say, that without the assumption of office; and without leaving the sphere of engagement suited to your sex and station, you may, in an eminent degree, serve your own generation by the will of God. Let me freely develop and enforce what I should deem necessary to your securing so desirable an attainment.

I presume on your personal religion. It is said of Zachariah and Elisabeth, that ’ they were both righteous before God, walkmg in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord, blameless.’ If a Christian is to ’ marry only in the Lord,’ how indispensable is this requisition to a minister. If he sets at nought the divine precaution, he not only by his example justifies others in forming unhallowed connexions, but his own wickedness will correct him; and he will be made to feel, in the natural consequences as well as in the penal rebuke, what an evil and bitter thing it is to forsake the fear of the Almighty. His case indeed is to be pitied, should he have been imposed upon after serious and candid examination. And there have been wives who have made pretensions, to gain the upright, who are always the most unsuspecting. And when the mask has been afterwards thrown aside, what an astounding discovery has it been to the deceived, and what a degradation to the deceiver! And when the disguise has continued, what a wretched constraint has been necessary to keep up appearances! And what irksomeness has been endured in being so often eno;afred in the exercises of unfelt devotion! And what excuses have been made for omitting duties, against the drudgery of which the alienated heart has revolted! And what can be more likely to impair conscience, and to produce impenitence, than ’ lying against the Holy Ghost?” And what is the hope of the hypocrite, though she hath gained, when God taketh away her soul?” But we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak.’ Yet, though in your case, the reality of godliness be indispensable, it is not sufficient. Every thing in the claims of your calling requires, not only that you should fear God, but that you should fear God above many; not only that you should know the truth as it is in Jesus, but be filled with the knowledge of his will, in all wisdom and spiritual understanding; not only that you should be sincere and without offence, until the day of Christ, but be thoroughly furnished unto all good works.

Here let me speak of your deportment — With regard to them that are without. With regard to other religious parties. With regard to your own church and congregation.

With regard to your family.
With regard to your husband.

First; with regard to them that are without. Of these your husband is to have a ’ good report, lest he fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.’ It must be the same with you: for though less conspicuous than himself, you will not escape observation.

You are required to be firm and decided. You must keep your high and holy ground, and not be drawn down into the course of this world. If you comply with their wishes, and conform to their maxims and manners, they may like you more, but they will esteem you less. It is by your consistency that you are to strike and impress others. They will not regard, what they see you make light of yourselves: and surely you cannot evince the importance you attach to the truths you profess, by owning them at one time, and being ashamed of them at another, according to the place and company in which you are found: but only by the constancy of your adherence to them, and the sacrifices you are ready to make in their defence.

Yet tenderness must be connected with decision, both to qualify it, and to prove the source from which it results — that it is not the offspring of obstinacy, but principle; that it is not self-will, but a regard to the will of God; that it is not prejudice, but enlightened conviction. Whoever in this cause contends earnestly, must yet strive lawfully. A polemic of your sex is rarely desirable. A theological Joan of Arc we would rather dechne ahogetlier. The Amazons of orthodoxy, as those of old, may amputate the breast, the better to draw the bow: but we prefer their feeling to their fierceness; and their charms to their courage. They are not only most lovely, but most efficient, when unarmed, and attired in the meekness and gentleness of Jesus Christ. In your social intercourse, be careful to unite discretion with integrity. Be concerned not only to maintain your reputation, but the honour of your religion. Do not imagine that truth is an altar that sanctifies every offering. Plead for no doctrine in an uncharitable temper. Christian faithfulness does not require ill-nature; and gains nothing by ill-breeding. It is a poor way of usefulness, to lose all future opportunities of doing good to your fellow-creatures, by driving them away from your presence, or hardening their minds against you. Yet how often is this done by the haughtiness of reproof! or the violence of controversy I or the rancour of party zeal!

Treat no one with rudeness or neglect. Shun the spirit of the Pharisee, trusting in himself that he is righteous, and despising others: ‘Stand by thyself; come not near to me; I am holier than thou.’ Mixing with company prevents the appearance and suspicion of unamiableness; and has the effect of promoting good neighbourhood, and general good will. Remember that what gentility would require of you as an accomplishment, Christianity enjoins upon you as a virtue; and what a woman of good breeding receives from education, you are to derive from religion; and what is only in the people of the world the hollowness of ceremony, is to be in you the reality of principle. ‘Politeness,’ says lord Chatham, ’ is benevolence in little things.’ It consists in general attention; in doing civil offices, and using kind words to all; in keeping every offensive subject out of view; in never obtruding your own partialities; but always minutely regarding the wishes of others; in accommodating yourselves as much as you mnocently can, to their habits and tastes; in forgetting yourselves, and obliging every one about you. And what says the scripture? * Let every one of us please his neighbour for his good to edification.’ This is the way to adorn the doctrine of God our Saviour; and to render the gospel not only impressive, but attractive. This is the way to walk in wisdom towards them that are without, so as to remove their prejudices, and bring them over to your cause — and Mie that winneth souls, is wise.’ Be kind and merciful, as well as obliging. Always regard the afflicted. The hour of trouble is a season of moral impressiveness: the heart is then more serious and more soft. While the daughters of vanity and dissipation turn away from the abodes of penury and wo; be you a little image of Him, who is a very present help in trouble. When Mr. Howard presented his wife with a purse of one hundred guineas to enable her to take a summer’s excursion: what a pretty cottage,’ said she, ’ will this build for a poor family!’ How much more pure, and satisfying and durable, was the pleasure the sight of this litde temple of charity afforded her, than what she could have derived from a visit to a watering-place! It was a common saying of the Lord Jesus, who, from experience, knew the deliciousness infinitely better than any other being: ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’ It is to be lamented, that many in your station have it so little in their power to gratify their benevolence: but whatever resources your husband commands, he will readily allow you a share of the pleasure and honour arising from the application of them: and the beneficence which should distinguish a minister’s wife, is not confined to alms-givings. There are alms-deeds. There are numberless ways in which a feeling heart can reach distress. When it cannot succour, it can soothe.

It is important to be able to give advice to the poor. They are often thriftless and wasteful, from ignorance, as much as from negligence. But they may be taught to make a little go a great way; and actual and personal instruction may do much more than printed tracts.

Some little knowledge also of medicine would be always an instrument of usefulness in female chanty; and none could more advantageously use it than a pastor’s wife.

Your sex are sometimes called angels. The design has not always been laudable: and the flattery, it is to be feared, has sometimes turned them into fallen angels. But you may tmly deserve the praise of the title. Our Saviour, speaking of children, says, ‘Despise not one of these little ones; for their angels do always behold the face of my Father who is in heaven.’ And, says Paul, ‘Are they not all ministering spirits, sent forth to minister unto them that are the heirs of salvation?’ Make these beautiful and lovely creatures your models. A female is never so angelical as when she adds to her personal graces the moral attractions; and displays the tender heart; the melting eye; the soft hand binding up the wounded spirit; and the foot with eager steps at the door of misery, visiting the fatherless and the widows in their affliction.

Secondly; with regard to other religious PARTIES. You must not judge of persons by their walking with you, in the outward fellowship of the gospel. They may assemble in other places, and belong to other denominations, in which the worship of the Spirit is equally maintained, and the word of life is equally preached; and be members of the one true church of the living God. And being such, you are not at liberty to show an indifference to them. You must be able to say, ‘Grace be with all them that love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity:’ * Whosoever shall do the will of my Father who is in heaven, the same is my brother, and sister, and mother.’ As your husband professes to maintain the character of a worker together with all those who hold the same essential truth, though they differ from him in matters of inferior moment; you should aim and endeavour to cherish in him the spirit of love and concord. Be not ofiended or grieved at hearing the commendations and successes of other ministers, as if they eclipsed the excellencies, or detracted from the usefulness, of one for whom it is natural that you should feel peculiarly concerned. He that soweth, and he that reapeth, may rejoice together. He that planteth, and he that watereth, are not enemies or rivals. The various officers in an army, and the various builders in the house, require and aid each other.

When the Wesleyan Methodists opened a Chapel at Painswick, near his own meeting, the late excellent Cornelius Winter prayed three times publicly the preceding Sabbath for their encouragement and success. When Mr. Hoskins, of Bristol, the Independent Minister of Castle-Green, opened a Meeting in Temple Street; what did the incomparable Easterbrooke, the vicar of the parish? The morning it was opened, he was almost the first that entered it. He seated himself near the pulpit. When the service was over, he met the preacher at the foot of the stairs, and shaking him with both hands, said aloud; ‘I thank you cordially, my dear brother, for coming to my help — here is room enough for us both; and work enough for us both; and much more than we can both accomplish: and I hope the Lord will bless our co-operation in this good cause.’

There is too little of this in many neighbourhoods; so that if the leaders of the several interests are not in a state of hostility, they are estranged, and shy of each other. And there is often, we fear, a secret influence exerted ‘Very near the throne; and arising, not from a bad heart, but quick and feverish feeling, that contributes to produce and perpetuate the effect.

A man cannot receive a higher commission than the ministry of the word; and such we are commanded to esteem very highly in love for their works’ sake. Their acceptance is necessary to their usefulness; and their reputation is necessary to their acceptance. Beware, therefore, of speaking freely or lightly of the character and claims of any of God’s servants. Remember how Miriam erred in her flippancy, when, jealous of the popularity of Moses, she endeavoured to lower him comparatively in the estimation of the people. God was displeased. The cloud removed from the tabernacle. And ’ she became a leper as white as snow.’ And was ’ ashamed’ to be seen abroad ’ for seven days.’ Crimes are not immediately and visibly judged now, as they were under a former dispensation. And it is well they are not. If Miriam’s infirmity was followed by Miriam’s correction, we know some handsome faces, and some not very handsome, whose cadaverous complexion would soon require seclusion and concealment; while the mortified sufferers would be grateful for the prayers of those they have laboured to supplant or depreciate, to restore them to comeliness and sight. ‘Wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses?’

Thirdly; with regard to your own church AND CONGREGATION. Hcrc, like your husband, you are to be ’ an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.’

Never let your behaviour be so reserved, as to appear haughty and disdainful towards any of the members or attendants; especially any of those in humbler life. A little partiality here, will be sure to awaken the remark; ‘The rich have many friends.’ Your leaning should should rather be to the other side; not only because it will do more honour to your motive, and you will be complying with the injunction, * condescend to men of low estate;’ but also because so many of the subjects of divine grace are found among the poor of this world; no few of whom are rich in faith; and able, fi’om their own experience, to reward your intercourse with them.

Never be drawn into excessive attachments. They gender envy and provoke reflection. Like himself, a minister’s wife is hardly allowed friendship; at least, great and engrossing intimacies. She stands in the same relation to many; and must be respectful and attentive to all. If she cannot hinder the existence of particular feelings and preferences; she may, she must learn to rule the expression of them. Many in your rank, especially the narrow-minded and the ill-educated, always have their cronies, a kind of low favourites, decent dependents, the collectors of all the news of the church, congregation, and neighbourhood, and who can feed their entertainers with timely selections, according to their peculiar appetite and wishes, with which they are perfectly acquainted. Flee these. Beware of all newsmongers. Frown them to a distance. ChlH them into silence. What says the proverb? The receiver is as bad as the thief.’ What says the witty and sarcastical South? ‘The tale-bearer, and the tale-hearer, should be both punished together; only the one should be hung up by the tongue, and the other by the ear.’

After all your caution, there are things which you will unavoidably hear; but you must hear them, as if you heard them not, and you need not relate them. Be not suspicious, yet never be too open. Never put yourself, by imprudent confidence, in the power of any. Never betray secrets, the divulging of which may involve you in embarrassment or disgrace.

Keep yourself aloof from all breaches in the families of your people, and any differences that may arise in the church or congregation. There is danger here, from your being, with regard to such things, in the way of much prattling information; and unless you are guarded, you will be easily drawn in, and become a partizan: and when a female has taken her side, which seldom requires much time; she is apt to be more open than false; and frequently feels and expresses more than principle, or at least prudence, can justify. Never show or wish to be ‘a judge and a divider.’ Never be found in the Ecclesiastical Court. Leave these matters to those to whom they properly belong, and who ’ have the ride.’ I never knew a minister’s wife, but was esteemed and admired in proportion as she shunned contention and intermeddling, and kept within the duties of her own appropriate and lovely sphere. It is better to withdraw, and retire, and weep, and pray, than to excite notice, and gain partial praise, with the froward, and even the forward in spirit. * Who is a wise’ woman,

* and endued with knowledge?” Let’ her

* show out of a good conversation’ her ’ works with meekness of wisdom. For where envy and strife is, there is confusion, and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above, is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be entreated; full of mercy and good fruits; without partiality, and without hypocrisy. And the fruit of righteousness is sown in peace, of them that make peace.’

In the visits you pay and receive, be always ready to encourage religious discourse. Let this appear to be the element the most congenial with your spirit. Let your speech turn habitually on subjects, rather than persons. Especially, speak evil of no man. ‘Upon her tongue was the law of kindness.’ In a general way, be rather reserved than over communicative. We have many good discourses, says archbishop Tillotson, on the excellency of speech; we want one now on the excellency of silence. In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin.’ How often does Solomon, the wisest of mortals, enforce a comparative backwardness to speak. In one place he tells us it is safe; in another, it is wise; in a third, it is dignified; in a fourth, it is useful; and every where he extols it as a virtue. Nature, my sister, teaches us this lesson as well as scripture. It has given us two ears, but one tongue: the former avenues are always left open; the latter organ is easily enclosed — as much as to say, Be swift to hear; but slow to speak.’ Here, alas! who can understand his errors?’ Who can read the testimony of

Jesus — ‘Every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment’ — and not pray, Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth: keep the door of my lips!’ If your connexions and intercourse afford you more opportunities and excitements to speak, so much the more necessary is it that ’ your speech should be always with grace, seasoned with salt.’ I urge this, because of its peculiar and neglected importance. Surely, what James says of our sex will apply equally to yours, especially to a female in your relation. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man; and able also to bridle the whole body.’

Fourthly; with regard to your family. By this I here mean servants and children.

Upon the former I shall not much enlarge. Surely, in the treatment of your servants, it will not be necessary to remind you, that you have a Master in heaven, and that there is no respect of persons with God. He that has created you, made them. No being is despicable as a creature of the Most High, sq fearfully and wonderfully made: and no on6 is to be contemned on the ground of power and influence. Domestics can injure you; their very situation gives them peculiar means and opportunities; and they may employ their advantage in ways of which you have no apprehension) and which render counteraction difficult or impossible. It is never desirable to wage war with inferiors: you must descend to the same lowness of contention, and employ weapons, in the use of which, they are likely to be much more expert than yourself, while the sympathy of beholders will be most naturally drawn to the weaker side. Think not a hint of this kind beneath your notice. It will procure you more discredit than you are aware of, to be always, or often, changing your servants; or to wear the character of a harsh, scolding, close, stingy mistress.

Sink not your proper distinction, by suffering your affability to degenerate into familiarities. Neither let your kindness disappear in your authority. Servitude being established against the natural equality of mankind, should be softened as much as the duties of it will allow. Consider your servants as humble friends. Little minds endeavour to support their consequence by distance and hauteur: but true dignity is always condescending and tender: and in a woman, we admire, not what is stately, but what is endearing; not what is dazzling, but what is mild and lovely; not what is great, but what is graceful. Forbear threatening. Distinguish between mistakes, and the want of principle. Pass by little infirmities. Is it reasonable that the mistress should exact from a servant, the perfection, the servant can never expect from the mistress? Afford your domestics occasional indulgence; and especially moments for reasonable visits to their relations and friends. Let the readiness to commend you to others, the tear when you leave home, the beaming countenance when you return, the eager and uncomplaining attendance and watching by day and night in your sicloiess, show that you have gained the heart, as well as hired the hand, and are served, not by the sullenness of fear, but the cheerfulness of affection. Above all, you will not overlook the moral and spmtual welfare of those who are not only under your command but under your care — and you will care for their souls. You wull not only give them opportunity to attend the means of grace, and family worship; but you will personally instruct, reprove, encourage them. However ignorant they may come into your service, it will be a disgrace to the mistress for them to depart unable to read the scriptures.

With regard to the children the Lord may graciously give you, your husband of course will share with you in the discharge of parental duty. But though, here, you are not exclusively, yet you are really, you are deeply, and, in some respects, peculiarly concerned. In all the animal creation, the maternal instincts are the most powerful; and the wisdom of the provision is obvious — the rearing of their offspring almost entirely belongs to the mother. In the education of children — of the daughters till they are married; and of the sons till a certain age — the care falls chiefly on the female. To her belong unquestionably the first years of both; and those periods are the most tender and ductile. Her share of tuition, therefore, begins very early; and it cannot begin too early. Infants are impressed before they are supposed to be receptive of impression; and they are proceeding in a direction before we think they are capable of motion. They can remember before they can reason; and they can judge before they can speak; as you see by their looks and gestures, their attractions and their aversions. Here your wisdom and your vigilance must be awake, instantly to seize and improve opportunities, apparently insignificant, but most serious in their effects. The roads that lead to places very remote from each other, diverge very slenderly at their beginnings. When I wish the branch of a tree in my garden to occupy a particular space, I can guide it, while a sucker, with a thread: a kw years after it will require a rope; and the attempt to bend it will be likely to break.

As a mother too, from his endeared dependence upon you, you are sure of the child’s first and liveliest attachment. And you have always the advantage of immediate access. And you have also the influence of that insinuation and address which our sex has not the faculty to possess, or the patience to employ. One of the absurd opinions of former times was, that poison never diftused itself so quickly and powerfully as when it was administered in human milk — nothhig certainly affects so much as what is imbibed with the mother’s milk. In the age of Silver, Hesiod says, poetically, children continued, during an infancy of one hundred years, under maternal care.

I am weary, said the ambitious Cornelia, of being called Scipio’s daughter. Do something, my sons, to style me the mother of the Gracchi. What an honour will be conferred on you, if you should be the means of rearing a disciple of Jesus! an heir of God! a minister of the gospel! an ambassador to the heathen! And why should you be discouraged? We know that human nature is depraved; but we know the grace that is in Christ Jesus. We do not think of your success without his blessing; but we encourage you to seek it: and while, in dependence upon it, you employ all the means in your power, remember his own word: ‘Train up a child in the way that he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.’ This is indeed a proverb, and therefore admits of exceptions: but, as a proverb, it must be generally true: and where the mother has performed her part, there are few failures, at least eventual failures. For a time she may have seemed to labour in vain; but she sowed the seed in good season; and though impatience deemed it dead, some aftershowers and sunshines caused it to spring up, and bring forth fmit. So it was with the mother of Augustine. You have also heard, to the same effect, the grateful acknowledgments of a Newton and a Cecil in later times. While many, by maternal influence, have been reclaimed from the paths of the Destroyer, others, and who can tell their number, others have been preserved, and have feared the Lord from their youth and their infancy. This was the case with Samuel and Timothy; the Jewish church being indebted for the former to Hannah, and the Christian church to Lois and Eunice for the latter. David does not any where refer to Jesse; but, says he, ‘Save the son of thine handmaid.’ I am the son of

184 “I^HE DUTIES OF

thine handmaid.’ And who can tell what early and touching recollections of her early, and tender, and pious solicitude, he felt at the moment of such appeals?

At our ordinations, when the candidate has been asked a reason of the hope that he has been called by divine grace, how often, if he has adverted to the means, has a tear, which instantly drew forth kindred drops from the eyes of others, almost interrupted the confession, ‘I had the advantage of a pious mother.’

You cannot have forgotten the acknowledgment, on the preceding day, of one so dear to you: ‘I have no miracle to publish: I have no surprising or sudden change to relate; but blessed be his name, I was brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; the taking of my little hand in her’s; I think I feel it still, and leading me aside to pray; her concern on returning from the house of God, to enable me to remember and understand the sermon; the murmur of her dear voice at her devotion as I passed her chamber door; the maxims and principles she lodged in my infant mind; the tears that bedewed her reproofs; the caresses that enforced her entreaties; her cheerflilness, that constantly said, ‘O taste and see that the Lord is good;’ her example, that embodied her religion, and made it as lovely as herself — these endear the memory of a mother, from whom, under God, I have derived my spiritual, as well as my natural life.’

You are not commonly In danger of injuring or overlooking the health of your offspring Intentionally; but wisdom is profitable to direct. A little medical advice, and observation and experience in the service of common sense, will enable you to see the importance of air and exercise, of sweetening the blood by a proper choice of food, and of preventing ailments by simplicity of diet, and keeping nature unclogged by excess. Never accustom them at table to choose for themselves: you are the best judge as to the quality and measure of their provisions; and they cannot be too early taught to give up self-will to superior wisdom.

Were I addressing your partner, I should say, ‘Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.’ But your danger generally lies on the other side. Therefore, beware of fond and foolish indulgence. Trifles may be passed over, and some minor offences be safely buried in the bosom of maternal tenderness; but conceal no faults your children may commit, of a more serious nature, from the father; nor, if you privately plead for the softening of correction, never counteract the effort of rebuke, by appearing to oppose it at the time. In all matters of moral rule and discipline, nothing is more necessary than for the parents to be seen agreed and decided.

Endeavour to cultivate the manners of your children; and render them examples of good behaviour. If they are forward, and impertinent, and rude, and disorderly, insulting to inferiors, disrespectful to superiors, disobedient to parents, the minister as well as the mother will be blamed; for he is to be ’ one that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity. For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?’

Be not regardless of their dress. Let it not be costly and fine. If, through the inconsideration of friendship, things are given them, above the propriety of their condition, let them be refused, or exchanged, or ahered. Instead of cherishing, even indirectly, a fondness for attire, endeavour to subdue, or rather prevent it. This, however, requires much skilfulness, especially with daughters; and all precepts will be more than vain, unless they are enforced by your own example.

Keep them from visiting too much. Some, from a regard to their father’s character and office, may not only invite your children, but contribute to spoil them, by making too much of them; and giving them ideas and feelings above their rank. On this principle, they should rarely, if ever, visit families of superior condition, lest they should grow dissatisfied with the plainness and sobrieties of home.

And push them not too soon and too much into observation. Especially when your children are present, never in company notice and extol any particular quality or attainment; with regard to which, you will thereby assuredly render them false and vain; and stimulate them to forwardness and talking, against which you cannot guard them too much. Hearing you thus admire them, they think every one else does the same. In your attentions to them, therefore, before others, let them not perceive any particular solicitude on your part to set them off by their talents. Be content to form their minds by slow degrees; and remember, that if it were in your power to advance them in knowledge beyond their years, it would not be desirable; for what is the advantage of premature ability, compared with the danger of pride, arrogance, and self-sufficiency?

No; nor in their absence be even eager to bring forth their parts and sayings. Not only does modesty require this, but a regard to the feelings of others: you have no right to embarrass your company, by obliging them to commend and admire things which they may not deem so wonderful and clever as the mother. What a child had Mary! How many prodigies could she have brought forward! ‘But Mary kept all these things, and pondered them in her heart.’ I am aware that this maternal propensity is not peculiar to the wives of ministers; but they are more in danger of

THE WIFE OF A M!N STER. 189

it than many others, and the weakness will be more observable in them.

Devote a portion of your time expressly every day to the improvement of your infant charge. Prudence must determine when, and how long it should be; but after deciding, be persevering and firm in adhering to your plan; and let interrupters no more break in upon it, than upon the time sacred to the studies of your husband.

Especially employ, without making it irksome and tiresome, a portion of the Sabbath to the examination and instruction of your children. Yet we have known the wives of some ministers, who have been fonder of attending Sunday schools, and addressing them, than of being teachers of babes’ at home. Sunday schools must have their attendance, and much praise is due to those who dedicate to their service so many of their hours: but if persons have originated families, these must be their first care: ‘He that provideth not for his own, especially those of his own house, hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.’

Fifthly; with regard to your husband. He is your chosen and dearest relation; and in this connexion another is involved. Your husband is also your pastor; and thus an additional reason is furnished why you should * reverence’ him, and ’ submit’ to him. It is little honourable to any party, when, not only the head of the family, but the ruler of the synagogue, is supposed to be under government. In whose hand soever the sceptre be found, it is the sign of dominion; and however softly it may be swayed, they who are under it are the subjects. But, indeed, women who assume the reins, seldom manage them with moderation, or dignity. All usurpers, whatever was their previous disposition, incline to tyranny and display; and, unlike those who naturally and legitimately govern, are never satisfied but as their power is felt and acknowledged.

In no case does it become the wife to exercise authority over the man she has promised to obey: and she is a vain and a weak woman, who exposes to observation even the influence which in many cases she is justified in using. Whom does the poet commend?

‘She, who ne’er answers till her husband cools, Or, if she rules him, never shows she rules; Charms by accepting, by submission sways. Yet has her humour most when she obeys.’

When Livla had attained such an ascendancy over her husband Augustus that there was hardly any thing he would refuse her, though emperor of the world, many of the married ladies of Rome were anxious to know the secret and the source of her success: to whom she replied, ’ 1 rule by obeying.’ We need not inquire from what cause it arises, but a man soon acquires a notion of the superiority of his own sex. This

Grows with his growth, and strengthens with his strength.’

He is tenacious to maintain it; and therefore is jealous of every attempt to reduce it. But it has been observed, that he possesses at the same time a sentimental tenderness towards the other sex; and an inclination to please and indulge them; and thus, while he would domineer, he is subdued. This has been called his weak side. Be it so; the use of it is obvious; and a woman of sense can always turn it to advantage, and found on it a better dominion than authority — an empire of address and affection; caresses, her orders; tears, her menaces; and silence and submission, her arms. Here she can do wonders, because she appeals to nature itself; and is supported by a principle implanted in us by the wise Creator to humble the pride of power, and to compensate those who have not the force to conquer, by giving them the fascination to charm.

Never forget, therefore, that your means of sway must have for their basis, gentleness, sweetness, and good temper; and that they must be so exercised, as to allow your husband to believe that he is supporting his sovereignty, even while he is yielding it. The show even of influence will alarm his vanity and consequence; but the discovery of your intention to succeed, by any thing like authority, harshness, or sullenness, will not only produce disappointment, but gender resistance or disgust. No man of feeling was ever proof against the kindness of a sensible woman: but where, in all history, can an instance be produced, in which an ascendancy over him has been obtained by frowardness, scolding, and strife for pre-eminence?

Observe, however, that what we have said of influence, goes not to justify that low and artful cunning, by which some endeavour to carry a favourite purpose. If we can depend upon the writers of a former age, the grand resource of a lady, whose lord denied her any thing on which she had set her heart, was to fall into an hysteric. The ministry of fits and vapours seems now to be nearly closed. But, says an excellent writer, ‘Let not the dispositions, by which it was introduced and upheld, be found to survive its fall. Let it ever be remembered that she, who by teazing, by wheedling, by finesse, under any shape whatever, seeks to deceive or to weary into acquiescence or consent, acts no less plainly in opposition to her duty of scriptural obedience, than she would have done, had she driven him into compliance by the menaces and weapons of an Amazon.’

This general, but very important requisite in your conduct towards your husband being settled; you will allow me to mention a few other articles deserving your candid regard.

Such is an attention to his personal appearance. He will detest being a fop; and you will not allow him to be a sloven. You will not wish to see him waving the ring on his lily handj nor indulging

‘A silly, fond conceit of his fair form And just proportion, fashionable mien And pretty face, in presence of his God.’

Even comparative

‘Slovenly neglect, and rustic coarseness,*

are better than affectation and finicality. But these are not good in themselves. Purity, neatness, decency, become the man of God in his appearance and apparel; and his want of it will draw reflection upon you.

Such is an attention to his property.

These must be the matters in which the apostle says, the wife is to ’ guide the house.’ Paul would not have a minister entangled with the affairs of this life; that he may know how to please Him that has called him to be a soldier. Keep your husband as much as possible disengaged from secular things, that he may feel himself free for his work, both in the preparation and the discharge. The kind of keenness and cleverness in worldly business, often admired in others, would have a lowering effect in a minister. The pantry, the shop, the market-place, the slang and the tricks of the huckster, would be incongruous and desecrating in him. His tact is to be of another order, and to evince itself in the things of God. * Is it reason that we should leave the word of God and serve tables?’ Therefore deacons were appointed even to provide for the bodily relief of the poor of the church; while ’ we,’ says the apostle, give ourselves to prayer and the ministry of the word.’

In vain the husband labours and gains, if you, in your ill housewifery, are wilfully expensive; or negligently profuse; or ignorantly wasteful. ‘Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.’ Let nothing deprive you of the commendation: ‘She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.’ What is the cleverness of a female showing away out of her sphere of duty? what is a sprightly wit? a smartness in conversation? an epistolary talent? or a smattering of the languages? Will these raise and recommend a woman in the midst of a neglected, ill-managed, disordered, sinking family?

Despise not a little knowledge of arithmetic — some accomplishments may be much less useful. Shun arrears. Be regular in demanding, and punctual in discharging your weekly accounts. If you commanded abundance, the scripture would say to you, ‘Gather up the fragments, that nothing be lost;’ and there are many purposes to which the fruit of frugality may be applied; but how absolutely indispensable must inspection and strictness be, where the resources to be managed are limited!

It is not necessary that your husband should appear as a gentleman, and awaken feelings of rivalship in civil things among his people, or neighbours. Never remind him of the superior circumstances of others, or urge him even indirectly to live beyond his means; and judge of these, not by his occasional, but expected income. Exercise every kind of self-denial, rather than see him involved. How trying to his feelings to be reduced to the difficulty of borrowing! How reproachful, while calling upon others to provide things honest, not only in the sight of the Lord, but also in the sight of men, to incur the suspicion of being unrighteous himself I’ How can he preach at all, with pleasure or freedom, though others may as yet be ignorant, while he is conscious of legal claims ready to be visited upon him.

And here you are to display your economy. You are not to regard this as a low, mean thing, fit only for the vulgar. Solomon characterizes his virtuous woman, though in high life, principally by simplicity, diligence, regularity, and domestic management: and in these the ancient Greeks and Romans placed much of female worth and excellence.

But what is economy? It is not ’ the stopping of one hole in the sieve.’ It is not a particular retrenchment, or an occasional saving. It is not the pinching of the servants, and stinting the family one week, to give a showy dinner the next. It is a mode of regulation that eyes the whole detail of household expense. It is the art, not of sordid saving, but of making a little go a great way way. It eludes meanness, as well as waste. Stinginess is one extreme, profuseness is another. There is a steering between them: but this is not easy; and it requires the judgment and skill which some females seem to exercise by a kind of intuition or instinct: so that they always appear to advantage; unembarrassed; unconfused; ready, without haste; deciding, as if without design; and while causing every thing to move in its proper time and place, keeping the mechanism of the process invisible — for the perfection of art is to conceal art.

An attention to his health of body. This in his case is peculiarly important. It is not only the source of his comfort and enjoyment, but it is essential to his usefulness. What confusion and disappointment result from the sickness or indisposition of one on whose ministrations such numbers depend: for ’ his lips feed many.’ Paul does not think it beneath him to watch over the health of Timothy; and to prescribe for him like a physician; ‘Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach’s sake, and thine often infirmities.’

Study therefore your husband’s constitutional liableness to injury; not to render him soft and effeminate, and fanciful, but cautious, and to aid him in the regulation of his mode of living, as to sleep, and diet, and exercise. You need not be afraid of propei application and exertion. These, instead of injaring the health, conduce to it. They give circulation to the fluids, and prevent the evils of stagnation: they hinder the rust of the mind, and keep the powers polished, and easy of motion. But there may be an overdoing. The machine may be over-worked. You will be, perhaps, by your constant and intimate observation, the best judge of the degree of labour to which he is equal. You will not be ignorant of his impaired digestion, his perturbed rest, his trembling nerves, his depressed spirits, his exhausted frame, and the low ebb of vigour when the Sabbath is gone, and the Monday sees him not living,* but existing only. And you must not neglect to sound the timely alarm. And if zeal, without knowledge or feeling, still urges the same unremitting efforts; and tells him he cannot die in a better cause: if his spiritual task-masters require the same tale of bricks: if the three services of the day must still be exacted from wasting strength yet growing anxiety — his blood will be upon the heads of his cruel murderers: but you have delivered your soul. An attention to his peace of mind. We have met with some members of churches, who kindly think that affliction and depression are best for a minister. We are almost ashamed to use a coarse and unfeeling proverb among them, quite worthy, however, of the employers, and since we are not in the pulpit, let it come out: ‘That the preacher never preaches so well as when the cow has trod upon his foot.^ Yet it never seems to strike these cold, calculating reasoners, that they, as hearers, may be benefited themselves by a similar experience! But if domestic distress be desirable for the improvement of the preacher, so may any other kind of rueful probation: and if the physcian, in order to perfect him in his art, is to go through all the complaints for which he prescribes, he will have neither time nor ability to practise. To dismiss this delicate figure, I hope my brother’s ’ fair heifer’ will not achieve this species of service for him. I am sure she will not. I am sure she will encourage him.

And he will require every favourable excitement. His work is arduous. He has trials in common with men; and he has trials in common with his fellow Christians: but he has also various trials peculiar to himself; and you will best know this. You, indeed even you, will not know all his heart’s bitterness: but you will hear enough, see enough, to convince you that he, whose office it is to comfort others, needs no little consolation himself And your smiles can rainbow the cloud of grief. Your soft hand can smooth the WTinkles of his oppressed brow. Your gentle words, like the fanning of an angel’s wing, can cool the heatful anguish of the mind. Your kind management (a woman is never at a loss where comfort is called for) can withdraw a distracting train of thought, and substitute cheerful imagery. You can remind him of instances of usefulness, when he is complaining, ‘I have laboured in vain, and spent my strength for nought.’ In his doubts and fears, with regard to his own spiritual condition, and to such he is liable, you can be the wife of IManoah, who said, ‘If the Lord were pleased to kill us, he would not

AS have received an offering at our hand; nor have shown us such things as these.’ If among his people he meets with mortifying defections in such as should prove a comfort to him, he will find one tried and faithful bosoln in which he can safely repose. If he has storms abroad, peace will be always awaiting him at home ’ and he will always enjoy a resource in that unfailing good temper

Whose unclouded ray

Can make to-niorrnw cheerful as to-day.’

You will, indeed, be every way anxious to render his own abode, not only the tabernacle of the righteous, but the dwelling-place of tenderness and comfort. In this, his safety as well as his satisfaction will be much concerned. We have known not only men, but ministers who have fallen by temptation: and though we by no means wish to justify or extenuate their conduct, it is no secret, that in some instances, at least, there has been little domestic happiness and attraction. What attraction can there be in sullenness? or in peevishness? or in clamour? ‘Better is a dry morsel and quietness therewith, than a house full of sacrljfices with strife.” It is better to dwell in a corner of the house-top, than with a brawling woman in a wide house.’ * A continual dropping in a rainy day, and a contentious woman, are alike. Whoso hideth her, hideth the wind, and the ointment of his right hand that bewrayeth itself.’ What attraction can there be in negligence, disorder, slatternliness? A disregard of propriety, and especially neatness of apparel, is in a female a fault that nothing can expiate. Even religion will not excuse it. There is a greater connexion between mental and outward purity than some are aware of. A female may be always judged of by her dress. The founders of Methodism were accustomed to say, that cleanliness was next to godliness. I have known a few exceptions to this, in men. I never knew one in a woman. Rely not too much on the rights of relationship, however intimate the connexion may be, and however endeared it ought to be. In preserving and keeping alive attachment, you must not absolutely depend upon the impressions that awakened it. A woman is not to presume on the certainty of homage, regardless of an attention to her manners. She is not as soon as she has stepped over the threshold of marriage, to drop the dehcacy, the decencies, the engaging appearance by which she attracted the lover. Men are ver)- selfish beings. They have very little of your disinterested feelings. You must not suffer, with them, your amiableness to fail. And how is esteem to be preserved, even when the fervour of affection declines? You cannot dream of perpetual admiration. The roses and carnations are for the summer months. What provision is there for winter? What woman is the most universally valued? The domestic. And for your encouragement be assured, that the more religious men are in their feelings, and the more improved in their understandings, the more certainly will they be attached to domestic life; always having an abundance of entertainments in private and tranquil scenes, unknown to the vulgar and the dissipated.

An attention to his official ministrations. On these, I need not say, you will be sure to attend regularly, when it is in your power. But for this purpose you must value them.

And here you are likely to feel some difficulties peculiar to your situation. A sage has said, ‘Domestic greatness is unattainable.’ The Saviour testifies that ’ a prophet is not without honour, save in his own country, and in his own house.’ And if this applied in a measure even to himself, it will bear in an unspeakably greater degree on all his imperfect servants. Distance diminishes and conceals defects; while nearness discovers and enlarges them. If familiarity does not breed contempt, it reduces veneration, and injures many kinds of impression. A husband must be a very consistent character, and be known to act always from principle, to enable a wife to feel under his services, as under those of a stranger, whose excellences only, she has heard of, while she is ignorant of the failings that would shade them — and such we allow a husband who is a minister ought to be: but even when he is such, though he will be essentially, he cannot be circumstantially the same always. He cannot be constantly in his robes. It would be affectation to attempt to keep up always the formal dignity of his pulpit exercises. Yea, it would be absurd even to distinguish himself in the ordinary actions and manners of life. He cannot be the preacher only; he must also appear the man, the companion, the father:

‘And he will not blush, that has a father’s heart, To take in childish things a childish part.’

But hence an effort will be necessary, to see, under all these common and familiar appendages of humanity, to recognize in one of like passions with yourself, and compassed about with infirmities, the man of God, the messenger of Heaven, the herald of salvation; to value the treasure as divine, though you know that it is contained in an earthen vessel; and to receive his word, ’ not as the word of man, but as it is in truth the word of God, that worketh effectually in them that believe.’

An attention to his usefulness. I do not mean that you should aid him in making his sermons: he ought to be able to make these himself; (neither should he steal his words from his neighbour) but you may be a helpmate to him, as to his personal religion; and need we say how much of the facility, and excellence, and success of his work, as a minister, will depend upon the spirituality of his mind, and the devoutness of his heart! You may remind him of his engagements. You may excite him to dihgence in his holy calling; especially in those parts of it that draw forth less notice and praise.

Wherever he is found, he ought to be useful; and difilising the savour of the Redeemer’s knowledge in every place. Be not, therefore, illiberal and selfish with regard to his company. He ought to be a lover of home, and not to be disposed to spend his evenings abroad; for ihey are seasons not only the most valuable to himself, but the most free and favoured to a female engaged in the affairs of a household but sometimes he must be preaching abroad. As to his civil visits, I hope he will never accept of an invitation in which you are not included: but circumstances may render it prop er for him to go, when you cannot accompany him; and in such cases you will not wish to restrain him. Above all, you will not complain of his absence, when you know that he is not idling away his time in lounging calls and gos — siping talk, but is sedulously engaged in his

Study. While he is endeavouring to do justice to his intended subjects, and resolved not to offer to the Lord that which costs him nothing, you will even aid his people and the public, by doing all in your power to secure him from the disturbance of thoughtless intruders.

A long-standing connexion does credit both to the pastor and the church: but ministers become, not unfrequently, uneasy, and as the expression is, moveable. It has been supposed by some, that there is an unusual number of these moveables in our day: and hence the late Andrew Fuller, by a rough, but striking metaphor, observed, in a letter published since his death, that many of our modern preachers seemed stung by the gad-fly. I fear that this powerful stinger is sometimes a near relation. Not that I throw the blame always upon the wife — we know the composition of many ministers too well: but we also have seen enough occasionally on her side, to justify our admonishing you to beware of an unsettled and roving spirit; or of becoming too sensitive to the difficulties that may arise in your husband’s residence.

In every situation there are trials. We are acquainted with those in our present circumstances, and they press us; but those of a new condition are unfelt, and even unknown: yet they may be equally, and even more numerous and painful. When a man changes often, there is danger of his getting, not only the character, but the habit of a chans:elinor: and a rolling stone gains no moss: and a tree always transplanting cannot radicate so as to be firm, vigorous, and fruitful. We have known ministers, who, yielding to mistaken views, or present impressions, have stepped out of their place; and left not only their comfort, but their usefulness behind them. Take heed, therefore, how you in any way contribute to this evil. You should hardly let your preference, if you have one, be known, even to your husband, while he is endeavouring sincerely to ascertain what the will of God is, concerning him.

His reputation, too, will affect his usefulness. And how much does this depend upon you! From your affection you will be eager to extol him, and perhaps be angry with those who do not join in your partial applause. But let me whisper a more excellent way. In the Protestant churches of Hungary, they degrade from his office the pastor, whose wife indulges herself in cards, dancing, or any public amusement, that bespeaks a lover of the world, rather than a Christian matron. This severity springs from the supposition, that he should not have chosen such a consort; or that she, having promised obedience, would not thus act without his approbation or permission. If no law of this kind is known among us, the spirit of it is commonly felt and expressed. Ministers are always in a measure blamed for the defects and faults of their wives: the very pity that is sometimes kindly expressed on their behalf, is constructively a sort of censure. He who acts imprudently and improperly in one case, especially if it be a matter of importance, will be judged of by it, in other things, perhaps in all. It is often said, that ministers, though they have the best opportunities of selection, and are under the greatest obligations to make a wise choice, are commonly betrayed into alliances the most ineligible. The reflection is not a little invidious j and is by far too general.

I have the happiness of knowing many most agreeable and very important exceptions. And I am fully persuaded that you, my respected friend, will be a striking addition to the number. You have it in your power to be so: you have it in your disposition. It is your aim, and it will be your attainment, to dignify your station, and reflect honour on the judgment, taste, and piety of your husband.

And be encouraged to go forward. You will not lose your reward. You may not make a splendid figure in history. You must not expect, though so closely related to him, to gain the same distinction and notice as a popular minister will obtain. While he is exalted by his office, you are left to move chiefly in scenes of comparative privacy. Your duties are regular, sober, unstriking; and furnish few materials for common panegyric. Yet even this very seeming disadvantage turns to your account. It serves to raise your worth; and to promote and display the purity of your motive. You can go on with patient continuance in well doing, without the excitement of publicity, or the claps of the multitude.

5J12 THE DUTIES OF

Nor will you be always undistinguished. Your day is coming. You will share in the revelation of Jesus Christ, when every one will have praise of God according to their concern to please him, and not according to the present distributions of fame. And even now you are proving what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. Even now, your duties are all important and indispensable. Even now, in the convictions of reason and wisdom, you are approved and ennobled. The heart of your husband safely trusts in you; so that he hath no need of spoil: you will do him good, and not evil, all the days of your life. Your children will rise up and call you blessed. Your domestics will thank God that even th-ey came under your kind and pious care. Your neighbours will commend you. The church and all your religious connexions will honour and love you. And God, even your own God, will bless you. He who has redeemed you by the death of his Son, and has called you by his grace: He to whom you have dedicated yourself, both in single and social life, saying, Lord, I am thine, save me — He keeps a book of remembrance: He forgets not your work of faith and labour of love: He accepts you and your services in the Beloved; and in his favour your horn shall be exalted.

And this consolatory assurance, my esteemed friend, you will need. Your station has, indeed, its advantages, which it would be ungrateful to overlook. Your intellectual, moral, and spiritual privileges are above those of many. You have frequent access to edifying company. You have the entertainment and profit of books. You have the habitual presence of one whose lips keep knowledge. His education and acquisitions prepare him for instructive and improving conversation. His function calls him to a regular life, exempt from the bustle and competitions of the world; and is every way friendly to virtue and sensibility. His employment and his studies tend to soften, and refine, and elevate his mind: while the extreme value of character to his profession, is a spur to excellency, and a pledge of good deportment. You have the honour of being connected, not only with a man of grace, but ’ a man of God;’ not only with one who serves him, but serves at the altar; and fills an office, as a preacher of the gospel, which an angel might be induced to envy.

But the honour and the advantages have their counterbalancings. 1 hope you have counted the cost; and instead of complaining of the difficulties before you, are determined to be the more circumspect; and the more prayerful; constantly seeking fresh supplies of that grace which alone is sufficient for you in all your duties, and in all your trials.

And trials you must not expect to escape. From envy or ignorance you may often be misjudged and misrepresented: for persons who act upon principle, especially in peculiar situations, cannot be comprehended by those, * who walk as men;’ and people are always more ready to be censorious than to be candid.’ in what they do not understand. Nothing is more uncertain than the applause of the religious multitude. Your husband, now caressed, may be neglected. His place, now crowded, may be thinned of its attendants by one far his inferior — unless in novelty, and lungs. Some Diotrephes may love to have the pre-eminence, and prate against him with malicious words. A perverse spirit may be mingled in the midst of a peaceful people. The Antinomian leaven may corrupt the purity, and mar the prosperity of the church. And at the discovery of his perplexity and distress, a sword also may pierce through your own soul.

The calling of your husband exposes him to temptations; and he may be injured by them. He may yield to vain imaginations, and high thoughts, that exalt themselves; and give up the simplicity there is in Christ Jesus. If he does not embrace dangerous enors, he may be enticed into some peculiarities, and injure his influence by some religious freaks and vagaries. He may be found among the prophets. Instead of preaching repentance towards God, and faith towards our Lord Jesus Christ; and having a word in season for him that is weary: he may employ himself in breaking open the seals, and blowing the trumpets, and pouring out the vials of the Apocalypse. The spiritual man may be mad. Popular applause (for as the fining-pot for silver, and the furnace for gold, so is a man to his praise) may elevate him into pride and arrogance. Entertained and idohzed as a very agreeable and clever companion, he may grow weary of the tameness of ordinary life; and disrelish home; and leave you to serve alone in the cares of a rising family. I dare not suppose any thing further; yet what changes have we witnessed in a course of years! Lord, what is man!

But it cannot be concealed that he is frail and mortal. You may have to pray, ‘Lord, behold he whom Thou lovest is sick.’ You may be called to the trying alternative of leaving a helpless babe, to accompany the father who journeys for health. You may have to watch at the side of the couch of infirmity, and of the bed of languishing. You may have to faint at the stillness of a dying hour; and only revive to learn that the guide of your youth, the arm of your support, the comforter that should relieve you soul, is gone; and the place that once knew him, will know him no more forever; his usual seat; his favourite walk; the sacred desk where yet his image seems to dwell —

You may not only be left a widow. You may be surrounded with bereaved children; and have to stniggle with hardships — perhaps penury — perhaps neglect. Perhaps you may be destined, like many who have gone before you, to learn by experience the little posthumous generosity and kindness there is, towards the remnants of those who have worn out life in the service of the religious public. ‘Is this Naomi?” Call me not Naomi; call me Marah; for the Almighty hath dealt very bitterly with me. I wnt out full — ’

Yet some true friendship wull be found. Some will show kindness to his house for Jonathan’s sake. There are the grey-headed, who are saying, ‘I have been young and now am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread. Even in the cloudy and dark day, when the eye pours out tears unto God, he will be your refuge and strength; a very present help in trouble. Your departed friend, when dying, heard him say, though you could not: ‘Leave thy fatherless children, I will preserve them alive; and let thy widow trust in me.’ And

*J^8 THE WIFE OF A MINISTER.

He is faithful who promised. Lean upon his word, and you shall find him to be a ‘Father of the fatherless, and a judge of the widows in his holy habitation.’

And if, while feeling the attraction of your now glorified partner, who is waiting to receive you to himself, you should yet linger long in this vale of tears. He who has delivered will deliver. He will guide you with his counsel; and when you approach the end of your journey, He will hear your prayer of faith: ‘Cast me not off in the time of old age, forsake me not whea my strength faileth. Thou, who hast shown me great and sore troubles, shalt. quicken me again; and bring me up again from the dust of the earth. Thou shalt increase my greatness, and comfort me on every side.” And the days of thy mourning