The Luxuries of the Spirit

Restore unto me the joy of Thy salvation; and uphold me with Thy free Spirit.” — Ps. li, 12.

WOAHEN a man commits sin and is forgiven, he finds the old peace but he does not at once find the old joy, he does not at once regain the old freedom. Jacob wrestles with the angel of his own conscience and prevails, but as he returns from the battle-field he halts upon his thigh. How should it be otherwise? The Divine Spirit like every other spirit is a habit of life, and a habit is only acquired by time. If my soul casts off its old habit to-day, it can easily put it on again to-morrow, but it must not expect it to fit so well as it did yesterday. David has slain Uriah, and his conscience has pursued him. He has struggled for pardon, he has wrestled for peace; he has conquered, but he has come back with the shrunk sinew. He has received the forgiveness, he has obtained the blessing, he has paid the exacted penalty, but he misses the old elasticity, he wants the former joy. He is afraid to put down the foot with the vigour of other years; the breaking of the habit has broken his confidence, and so it has broken his freedom. He has returned in safety from the midnight struggle, but he wants something more than safety: ‘ Restore to me the joy of Thy salvation and uphold me by Thy free Spirit.” My Father, give me back the luxuries of Thy Spirit — its freedom and its joy. I am not content with mere pardon; I am not satisfied with bare redemption. I am not comforted with simple salvation; I want the joy of salvation. It is not enough that I am at peace with Thee, it is not enough that I am reconciled to Thee; I must be able to be glad in Thee. Only in perfect joy shall I find perfect freedom. I would not like to be always in tremor lest by any word I should offend Thee; prayer would die on the threshold of my heart if it were not winged by fearlessness. I shall never lose my fear until I have felt myself akin to Thee, and I shall never feel that kinship until Thy Spirit has come. I shall never meet Thee face to face until Thy will is my will, until I have realised that between Thee and me there exists an equality of soul. I tremble before Thee because I look up to Thee as a master; teach me to feel that I am not a servant but a son. I ask piteously for the crumbs that fall from Thy table; make me to know that I have a right to the fatted calf and the best ring and the fairest robe. I am speaking of my religious duties; inspire me with a sense of my religious privileges, of the ease that comes from living on the lap of luxury. Thy grace shall become my nature when I have reached the joy of Thy salvation.