Convalescence—Becomes an Inmate of the New York Eye Infirmary
Convalescence — Becomes an inmate of the New Y otk Eye Infirmarj” — Various opportunities for usefulness — Conversion of an interesting young man — Longs for the courts of the Lord — Remarkable answer to prayer — Happy death of Mrs. F. — Hope of recovering her sight abandoned.
Mt convalescence was tedious. I was veryfeeble all summer, but able occasionally to ride out. When October came, I was again confined to my bed, which I was not able to leave till the following April. At that time I went to my cousin’s in my native village. Here I found a gentleman from Brooklyn, whose wife was fast sinking with the consumption, and had resorted thither in hopes that her physical frame might be benefited. I soon became much attached to them, and in compliance with their urgent request made them a visit. While there, a widow lady, by the name of Camp, having heard of my affliction, called upon me in company with her aunt C, who resided in the city of New York. They were total strangers to me, but their feelings soon became enlisted, and they afterward proved themselves among my warmest friends. After visiting me several times, they, with others, were strongly induced to think that my sight might be again restored. When they mentioned the subject to me, I replied, ‘’I do not think that I shall ever see again.” They told me that much had been done for others, and doubtless the same means might accrue to my benefit. At last I yielded to their persuasions, and on the tenth day of September, 1837, Mrs. Camp and another dear friend of mine accompanied me to New York.
Some of the most celebrated oculists in the city were consulted, and gave so much encouragement, that it was decided that I should go to the New York Eye Infirmary. I felt willing to submit to any thing that might be done for the restoration of my sight. These dear friends manifested great tenderness, as they were about to leave me in my helpless condition in the hands of strangers; but I told them to give themselves no uneasiness; that Jesus was with me, and I should be taken care of. Three dollars per week were paid for my board, by my friends in New Jersey, and I was treated with great kindness by the inmates and superintendent of the Infirmary.
I was, however, rather lonely for a time, not having any intercourse with the dear people of my choice. But the mother-in-law of the superintendent was a devotedly-pious woman, and soon became my constant companion.
In a few weeks a young lady, who was a member of the Methodist Episcopal Church, came into the family to sew. After some conversation with me, she asked me if I would not like to go to Church. I assured her that I wished much to be once more favored with this delightful privilege, as it had been more than two years s-ince I had attended Church. The next Sabbath she took me to the Duanestreet Church. The text preached from was, “Fear not, little flock; it is your Father’s good pleasure to give you the kingdom.” The sermon was made a great blessing to me, and I felt that I had been streno-thened “with miojht by the Spirit in the inner man.”
During the intermission I was led to the house of a brother, where there was a prayer meeting. Here I was introduced to several of the Methodist brethren. My case was made known to brother Ferguson, and I had soon a number of God’s dear children to visit me, and contribute to my necessities, among whom were Bishop Janes and sister Lankford.
In the Infirmary were persons of every grade and character; and I soon found that God had brought me into a vast field for usefuhiess. I loved much to visit those who were sick, and by kind words comfort any who were distressed. It was not unfrequently the case, that disputes and difficulties arose between the different inmates, and God often permitted me to be a peace-maker with them. I speak not this to extol myself, but to the praise of my heavenly Father, who did not, in these dark days, withhold from me the ‘’luxury of doing good,” but who did indeed work in me “both to will and to do of his good pleasure.” In a worldly point of view my prospect was exceedingly dreary, and, without the comforts of religion, I would have been completely carried away with my own troubles; but my condescending Savior beheld me in my low estate, and helped me to endure, as seeing Him who is invisible — permitted me to discover, by the eye of faith, my mansion in heaven, and a crown of glory in reserve for me, to which I was well convinced the sufferinos of this present moment were not worthy to be compared. This excited me to double my diligence, and, in the language of Paul, I was enabled to say, ‘’Most gladly, therefore, will I rather glory in my infirmities,” for ‘’when I am weak, then am I strong.”
About this time a very interesting young man came to the Infirmary, who had lost the use of his eyes by too great application to study. I felt deeply interested for him, and finding that he was not a Christian, became very anxious that he should seek the salvation of his soul. In unison with the prayers of Mr. B., an elderly gentleman who was there for a few weeks, my prayers daily and almost hourly ascended to heaven for mercy upon this perishing soul. We had conversed with each other respecting this young man, and covenanted to pray for him, pleading the promise, “If two of you agree on earth as touching any thing they shall ask, it shall be done for them.” I now endeavored to urge upon Mr. R.’s mind the importance of going himself to God, and seeking salvation through the merits of the blessed Redeemer. He acknowledged himself a sinner, but said, “If I allow myself to think of this subject now, my mind will become agitated, and thus the means used for the restoration of my sight will be counteracted, and I shall never be able to see again.” I had a very different view of the subject, and still urged upon him the necessity of securing at once the salvation of his soul. One day, while I was conversing with him upon the subject, he suddenly arose and said, “Well, Mrs. Gardner, eyes or no eyes, I will seek the salvation of my soul.” He went to his room and locked his door to pray in secret. I was led to pray for him in a very fervent manner. For several days he could neither eat nor sleep.
Early one morning he came to me with a very happy countenance, and said, “Mrs. Gardner, God has forgiven all my sins.” In this delio-hiful frame of mind, he went throuorh the house, exhorting all he met to give their hearts to God, and seek him while he might be found. From this time his eyes rapidly improved, so that physicians considered it a very remarkable case, and in a little time his sight was perfectly restored. When he entered the Infirmary he intended to have studied law as a profession, but he now felt that he must devote his talents exclusively to the work of the ministry.
Matilda S., the young lady who had led me to Church, was now confined at home with a sick sister. I had, therefore, been deprived of this means of grace for some time. The week previous to the communion service I had feJt a strong desire to commemorate the dying love of my Savior. I made it a subject of prayer, that God would send me some one to take me to Church. My confidence that he would answer my prayer was such, that when Sunday morning came I dressed myself for Church; and when the bells commenced ringing, I put on my hat, and took my seat in the hall, waiting for the expected answer. Mrs. V. passed through the hall, and when she saw me with my bonnet on said, “Mrs. Gardner, where are you going?” “To Church,” I replied. “But who,” said she, “is going with you?” “I do not know,” I replied, “but the Lord will surely provide.” This she much doubted; but, as we were conversing upon the subject, the door-bell rang, and I heard a person ask for me. I was pointed out to her, when she stepped forward and introduced herself as Miss 0. She proceeded to say that she was in the city on a visit, and had felt that morning a great desire to be useful, as she expected to return home the next day. Slio had asked God to direct her to some place where she might be useful, and, while praying about it, it had been suggested to her mind that she might do good by leading Mrs. Gardner to Church, of whom she had heard through her friends. She had, therefore, come to offer her assistance. I accepted the offer with gratitude, and thanked God for his condescension in listening to my petitions, and permitting me once more to kneel at his table. On my return Mrs. V. met me, and said, “Mrs. Gardner, I don’t understand this; you are one of the queerest folks I ever saw.’ I don’t comprehend this religion.” I replied, ‘’This is the power of faith, which every believer possesses, to a greater or less extent.”
Shortly after this Mrs. V.’s mother was taken sick. Her advanced age rendered it highly improbable that she would ever recover. But she was triumphantly happy. For three weeks before her death not a cloud intervened between herself and her Savior. I was with her most of the time, and her last prayer was in my behalf, and her last words were, “I am going to die — lay me down on the bosom of my Savior.” She then clasped her hands, and said, ‘’Farewell! I am just in my Father’s house.” She breathed a few times, and then sweetly fell asleep in Jesus. My dear companion was taken, and I left to be still further refined.